musical mood: disenchanted – my chemical romance

You really couldn't miss even a day of Hogwarts without something of major importance happening in your absence, apparently.

Cass returned to Flitwick's office in the late evening – she'd spent several hours after the funeral sitting on the ground of the parlour, hugging her knees to her chest and mentally berating herself for what had transpired that day.

You idiot. She internally screamed at herself for the hundredth time, banging her head against the edge of the couch. How could you just stand there? You should've done something, not just stare at him like a blundering dimwit! How could you leave him like that, after his father and brother's funeral! Connor probably hates you now.

She hadn't realised how much time had passed, she'd been so sucked into her melancholy thoughts, that the thing to get her to return to Hogwarts was her father apparating back home after what must've been a more carefree day at work, since he didn't look nearly as stressed out as he usually did.

"Cassiopeia?" He eyed her from where she sat on the ground, and she looked up from where her head was resting in between her knees. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be staying over at the Moore's?"

"Change of plans." She responded simply. Her voice was hoarse – more than usual, like she'd been crying. She hadn't been, but no doubt Bartemius thought so, between her cracked voice and red face.

"Is everything…are you…what's wrong?" He hesitated, lingering several feet away. Surely, their last interaction was lingering in his mind. It might've been in Cass's too, had there not been a far bigger situation at hand, one she had no idea how to push away.

"I'm brilliant." Cass forced herself up onto her feet, wobbling slightly in the uncomfortable funeral shoes she still wore. She'd completely forgotten to change out of her nun-like attire, which probably added to the bafflement on Bartemius's expression. "Sorry, I didn't mean to…I meant to go back to school earlier. It just slipped my mind."

Bartemius opened his mouth, searching for a response as Cass dipped her hand in the floo powder above the fireplace.

"Wait-" He began, but she ignored him, stepping into the fireplace and coming out on the other side far, far away.

Hermione Granger and Penelope Clearwater were petrified. Two in one day. It had been months since the last attack on Terry, and now it was starting again, just as utterly terrifying as before.

Perhaps even worse, Penelope Clearwater was a halfblood. It wasn't just muggleborns anymore, no. No one was safe.

Dumbledore was gone – kicked out, by a group of parents on the education board at the Ministry. Lucius Malfoy was now in charge of the school until they could find an actual headmaster, and the groundskeeper, Hagrid, had been arrested on suspicion of him being the heir of Slytherin.

Cass nearly laughed, when she found that part out from Padma, who seemed to find the idea of Hagrid being the one going around petrifying people just as ridiculous. Everyone found it preposterous, really, all of Hogwarts knew Hagrid was just a scapegoat, and with Dumbledore gone and unable to protect him, he was thrown into Azkaban without a trial.

"It's fucked up. It's so beyond fucked up." Cass was ranting to no one in particular about the subject, as she lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling during their free period. Naia and Luna were working on homework together, Padma was flipping through a magazine, and Bethany was, per usual, absent.

The only upside to this entire fiasco, was that it temporarily kept her mind off of Connor. She'd always been exceptionally skilled at keeping her unwanted emotions at bay, until now. The past few weeks had gone by in a blur, she'd hardly been able to pay attention to anything around her, because she was so fixated on him.

"Yeah yeah, we know." Naia said, her head leaning against Luna's. Cass wanted to ask why they were doing homework together – they didn't have any of the same classes, after all, but she didn't. "You've been talking about it for weeks. I mean, we all love Hagrid, and all miss Dumbledore, but it's getting a bit redundant, wouldn't you say, Padma?"

"What?" She looked up from her magazine, blinking rapidly. "Oh yeah, yeah Cass, you need to talk about something else."

"Whatever." She mumbled, glaring up at the ceiling, as if it were responsible for all her woes.

When the three other girls left for their next class – Defence Against the Dark Arts for the second years, and Herbology for Luna, Cass didn't join them. It wasn't like she'd actually be missing anything of importance in DADA, the last class they had with Lockhart, he asked them to spend the period making a custom chocolate frog card for him (apparently the one he had, he was having a bad hair day in), with different pictures of himself that he handed out. The only useful thing that came from the lesson was learning the ever-sticking glue spell.

With a deep sigh, she rolled over onto her stomach, burying her face in her pillow and fighting the urge to scream. While the week prior, she'd spent most of her time beating herself up, furious for not reacting properly, now she'd shifted her blame towards Connor, a person she'd never been angry at in her life. It felt unnatural, wrong, but she couldn't help it.

Why the hell had he done that? He knew she fancied Cedric! What had he expected from her – he'd caught her completely off guard, it wasn't fair. Weren't you supposed to ask someone, before you did something like that? Isn't that what they always did in old muggle books? The man asks permission to kiss the woman, and she says yes, and it all ends happily ever after?

That had been her first kiss, and he'd stolen it! Connor, her best friend, had been her first kiss. It wasn't right. It would be like if she kissed Naia, but even worse. She loved him, loved him so bloody much, but not like that, and now he'd gone and made everything awkward.

At a funeral, no less.

How was she supposed to talk to him over the summer? What was she supposed to do? Pretend like it had never happened? She was good at that, avoiding things, but never with Connor. He was different. Even if she tried, it would be so bloody awkward.

She groaned, the sound muffled by her pillow.

Cass tried, tried so bloody hard to distract herself, to change her thoughts to something else. She couldn't spend the rest of her school year cooped up in her dorm, ruminating on something she couldn't change. Could she?

There weren't many things in the world that were more mentally distressing to Cass than dwelling over her best friend. Even her brother didn't get to that level – at least he was dead. Nothing new could come of him.

Or could it…

Cass shot up suddenly, an idea hitting her so hard she nearly fell over in the process. Now was the perfect time to start digging through the stuff she had found in Quirrell's office. It couldn't possibly make her more upset than she was at the moment. Her dormmates were all in class and likely wouldn't return back to their shared room until after dinner, giving her several hours to freely shift through the book and miscellaneous papers without fear of being caught. If it distracted her from Connor, it was worth it.

Cass thought she was prepared for what she would find.

She wasn't.

The art of blood and soul magic is an ancient craft, stretching far beyond the days of wand and word magic. Blood magic connects oneself to another being, in an ancient ritual, nearly lost to time. I, Mopsus, Speaker of the Dead, have uncovered these mysteries. See chapter 3 for a further statement into how I have uncovered my work.

Blood magic, by definition, is gruesome stuff. Some may say soul magic, which uses murder and can include cannibalism to create objects such as horcruxes (see page 44), is worse, but in my opinion, blood magic takes the cake. It requires the physical extraction of blood from each victim – an eye for an eye, as one may say, followed by a deeply intense ritual (see page 38), that will forever bind your bodies. Any non-magical pain felt by one party, will be felt by the other. It is a preventative of death, yes, but at such a loss, some may argue death is better than a life of potential agony.

Yes, you heard that right, dear reader. If your bodies are connected, via either blood or soul magic, you cannot die, nor can the person or object you have attached yourself to, unless the bond is destroyed. However, any injuries sustained outside of magical spells, will be felt by the other party.

She could hardly make it through the first few chapters without throwing up – and eventually had to set it aside, not out of disturbance from the gore in the book itself, but out of fear for getting sick. Bethany would kill her if she threw up in their dorms.

That wasn't even the worst of it, though. No, the book, depicting gory forms of blood and soul magic and mutation and horrific ways to achieve immortality wasn't half as bad as the letters that came to follow. Letters between Quirrell and Barty, who, by the looks of it, were not, in fact, best friends, as Bethany had suggested the year prior.

My dearest Q,

I miss you more than words can express. It's been a long summer without you, oh so very long. I wish my father would allow you to visit, but there isn't much of anything to do here in Edinburgh, so I don't think you would enjoy it very much. Even so, I would kill for your company. I never thought I'd find myself excited for my return to Hogwarts, but alas, here we are.

My father keeps insisting I practise my French more, which is growing to be incredibly tedious. What's the point? We don't speak to his family in France, so why learn it? My mother agrees with me, but also insists I learn Scots? Who the hell speaks Scots in 1978? It's a waste of time, plain and simple, and in my opinion she's quite hypocritical for it.

I got my O.W.L results back yesterday, and I got 12 O's! 12! I didn't even know that was possible. Even my father seemed proud. Goodness, look at me brag. Could I be more shameless? Sorry. Did you get your results back? I'm sure you did splendid in Divination, even if you think otherwise.

Have you heard anything from Regulus, by the way? He hasn't been responding to neither Evan or my owls, and we're growing a bit worried.

I'll see you soon, my love, my life, my everything.

Yours,

Barty

One letter was enough for Cass.

She swiftly shoved everything back into her trunk, her breathing heavy and laboured as she tried to collect her thoughts.

What the fuck had she just read?

Who cared about the creepy blood magic Quirrell was into – given that he was into far more disturbing things than illegal magic. He was into her brother!

There was no bloody way that letter was platonic. No way in hell they were just "best friends". Cass wasn't at all adept in the world of romance, but she wasn't an idiot. Barty and Quirrell had been a couple! A fucking couple! Barty had been capable of love – and he sure as hell didn't seem insane in that letter, at least.

Quirrell had kept it all these years, so clearly, what they had was serious. Not a fling, or a typical teenage relationship that only lasted a few months. Why had he kept it in that book, though? Did it mean anything, or had it just been a convenient means of storage. Hiding his illicit letters and photographs detailing illicit affairs inside his illicit books. Had they been together when Barty was arrested? When he died?

It made perfect sense now, what Bethany had told her, about Quirrell almost joining the Death Eaters, even though he didn't share their beliefs. They were in love. Oh, the plot twist was so spectacular, Cass couldn't decide if she should be disgusted, or amused.

A mix of both, she ended up on.

Not that she cared that Barty was gay – sure, that was shocking, to say the least, but it made a bit of sense. From the bit she'd gotten out of her father over the years, Barty had never had a girlfriend, despite being quite popular in his youth, and having his choice of many women, if he had wanted such. She didn't care what sex her brother was attracted to, honestly, it would be odd if she did.

No, she was disgusted that he'd been in love with her ex-Professor, who she'd inadvertently been responsible for the death of, who had tried to poison her, who'd had You-Know-Who on the back of his head for a year, who was clearly infatuated with blood and soul magic.

Had Barty ever dabbled in that?

It wasn't likely – he was dead, after all. Blood and soul magic's end game was immortality, however grotesquely achieved. Only the darkest of witches and wizards dared to attempt it. You-Know-Who probably did, considering he managed to survive for ten years without a body, and latch himself onto Quirrell like a leech.

Cass shuddered at the idea of the darkest wizard of all time being immortal. That was far more disturbing than her brother's love life.

Turns out, Ginny Weasley was the heir of Slytherin. Kind of.

Cass certainly hadn't been expecting that. She'd heard from Anthony Goldstein, of all people, who'd rushed into the Ravenclaw common room early in the morning of May 30th, announcing to everyone who was there that she'd been possessed by a diary all year, and had been petrifying students by using a basilisk. The night prior, she'd been taken into the Chamber of Secrets, only to be rescued by ever-valiant Harry Potter, who not only saved her life, but killed the massive snake for good measure.

Bloody show off.

She tried to track down the twins, who'd she had been actively ignoring since the Malfoy love potion fiasco in January, but her quest had been interrupted when she'd been informed by Bethany that Ana and Terry were awake.

Bethany was smiling – actually smiling, as they practically ran to the Great Hall for the feast, where all the petrified muggleborns (and halfblood, and cat) were, chatting among their friends, who had so dearly missed them. Ana was at the Ravenclaw table, in between Lavender and Theodore Nott, two people who didn't belong to their house, and Terry was eating a chicken wing while conversing with Naia.

"You're back!" Cass approached them with a grin, leaning in to hug them both. While Ana melted into her hug instantly, Terry rolled his eyes, and just patted her on the back. Both of them looked a bit paler, a bit skinnier, than they should, but overall they seemed okay.

"We missed you so much."

"We missed you too!" Ana grinned, before pausing. "Well, I imagine we did. I was not conscious while petrified, but if I was, I would have missed you."

"What she said." Terry nodded in her direction, his mouth full of food.

"What even happened to you, Ana?" Parvati asked, her voice low. "I mean, you were petrified in our bloody dorm. How did Weasley get in?"

Ana shifted in her seat, clearly uncomfortable by the question. After glancing around to make sure no one outside of their conversation was listening, she leaned in. "Well, Luna and Ginny are friends, and Luna invited her into the common room to work on homework together. Ginny had been acting odd that day, but I didn't think much of it."

Luna was currently absent from their table, having claimed earlier that she needed to find her shoes, which had gone missing yet again. Cass imagined if she were there, she'd feel awfully guilty, even though no one blamed her. Cass didn't blame her, at least, and neither did Terry, as he went into his own story of what had happened to him.

After leaving the hospital wing, the day he and Naia had brought her there after being attacked by that stupid plant, he'd stopped to use the restroom, having Naia return to class without him. Apparently, Ginny Weasley had followed him inside (ew!) and petrified him while he was looking at his reflection in the mirror at the sinks.

"I feel bad for her." Lavender pursed her lips together, looking at the ground. "Ginny, I mean. She's just a kid, and got possessed by bloody You-Know-Who! That has to be pretty traumatic, right? And she probably thinks the entire school hates her. She knows it wasn't her fault, right?" She looked at Cass for this, as if she would know.

"I would hope not." She frowned. "She shouldn't blame herself."

"It was You-Know-Who?" Henry gaped at them. Clearly, despite being such a socialite, he hadn't been aware of the current gossip surrounding the events.

"That's the running theory." Cass shrugged. It made sense. It fit into her Voldemort blood magic theory. Or was it soul magic? She hadn't quite deciphered the difference yet. Surely it would show up later in the book, but she wasn't sure she was ready to read more quite yet.

The rest of the school year went by like the speed of light. Exams were cancelled, meaning there wasn't much of a point in being at the castle. Everyone remained, of course, except poor Ginny, who had gone home for the remainder of the term.

On the train ride back to Kings Cross, Cass chose not to sit with her dormmates, but with the Weasley twins, for a reason she couldn't discern. Maybe she just needed a mental break from her friends, who had been behaving just as peculiar as before Ana and Terry woke up. If anything, those two were the only ones who were acting normal.

"Cassie?" George raised his eyebrows when she'd entered their compartment, clearly surprised.

Fred had his arm around Angelina, who he was now officially dating, and hardly noticed her entrance, as he was whispering something into her ear. Gross.

"Have you decided to forgive us?" George tilted his head when she said nothing, and just stood in the doorway.

"Forgive is a strong word." She said as she sat down next to him. "I've…put it past us. For now."

"Come on, you have to admit it was a little funny."

"It was not funny! I was in the hospital wing, and in walks Draco Malfoy professing his love for me! That's the last thing someone recovering from a plant attack wants. Then, he implied I was the one to give him the potion – as if I would want him in love with me."

He shrugged, still laughing to himself, with a grin that Cass wanted to smack off his face. "Maybe. It was funny to us, at least."

"You're both douchebags, you know that, right?"

"Of course we do." He sent her a wink that send a shiver down her body.

"You only remind us of it like, five times a day." Fred added. Cass hadn't realised he'd been paying any attention.

"It's a bit tedious, really."

Cass rolled her eyes, glancing at Angelina to see she looked just as exasperated by their bantering, though she wore a playful grin all the same.

As it turns out, Angelina Johnson was a complete sweetheart, perhaps kind enough to rival her little sister, Naia. She'd told Cass the story of how her and Fred officially became boyfriend-girlfriend, which was incredibly romantic in her opinion.

He'd asked her out on a date to Hogsmeade Village on Valentine's Day, and they'd shared their first kiss on the hill that viewed the Shrieking Shack, after he gave her his scarf, since she was cold. Cass hadn't been aware Fred was able to be romantic, but that was absolutely adorable.

The only downside of their conversation on romance, was when Angelina casually asked if Cass fancied anyone. She was normally a good liar, but she'd been so caught off guard, she'd barely been able to muster a no, before she was faced with endless teasing by the twins, trying to guess who it was she fancied.

"Is it that muggle bloke you were talking about in the cupboard that one day? Craig or whatever?" George asked, leaning in and resting his chin in his hands.

"Cupboard?" Angelina looked between the two, her brown eyes wide, before Cass could correct George on Connor's name. Not that she wanted to talk about Connor. "Why were you two in a cupboard together?"

"Is it Georgie you fancy?" Fred wiggled his eyebrows.

By the end of it, she wanted to throw herself off the train. It was a miracle she didn't – just as it was a miracle no one guessed her actual crush, which she had always been concerned that it was pitifully obvious.

She didn't like thinking about Cedric either, though. Not as of recent, at least. Over the past month, he reminded her of the conversation she'd had over Christmas with Connor, and then she ended up wallowing in a pit of anxiety. It simply wasn't worth it.