Things We Don't Tell Humans

by Sinead Rivka

This was a first for us Autobots: never before have we come in contact with a species like these humans, so eerily similar to our own race and twice as tenacious as Sparklings. The question was, how far can we trust the humans with our culture? (AU, an edited updated version is becoming available on AO3 under the same name, WITH supplemental works that are updated regularly!)

81. Awakening Arc: Silence

Author's Note: As some of you may know, I'm a folk and ren faire performer. So this is the first shameless self-plug for the group: I'm at the Connecticut Renaissance Faire with my band The Penniless Jacks, performing four sets a day. If you're in the region, come and enjoy a damn fine renaissance faire, say hi, and enjoy a day in another time and place. We have CDs and bumper stickers for sale, and will soon be getting an online store set up for our (very long) EP.

That said, I won't have any cell signal unless I drive off-site starting in the early evening tonight, all the way through to when I drive back home Sunday evening. So I will be replying to reviews on Monday or Tuesday.

Song is: "Silence" by Marshmello feat. Khalid

This song is perfect for this chapter, and possibly even this entire Arc. Please listen to it.

.o.

Soundwave was in the Cloud. He had knelt to General Flamewar, acknowledging the burden he was placing upon her shoulders, but was surprised when she knelt and drew him into a human embrace. Her words, hissed softly over private lines, was reassurance that he hadn't realized he had been looking for. He had never wanted her to be coerced into any form of public office that she did not wish to serve in.

:We can do this together. I would never serve an Autobot Prime as Protectorate. I'm willing to take this journey with you, so long as you want to take it with me.:

The Matrix had taken with a swift brush of enveloping love and respect, he had felt it heal his wounds, and they had retreated to be introduced to the Cloud. He had remained still to simply process what he was experiencing, Optimus' astral hand slipping off of his shoulder after a moment to give him more space.

To Soundwave's ordered processors, it was more of a series of moving constellations than an ambiguous gathering of water vapor. The lines of connections between various individuals in a constant state of movement and vibration. He could see when someone sent a thought to another, the vibrations changing the color and brightness of the link. He could see if someone wanted space or wanted company with their "aura" that surrounded their presence. He could feel the connections gently logging onto his processors. Sam's connection, oddly, was the easiest to log and implement. Then he remembered the affinity of their minds, and sent a silent, deep apology to his . . . his brother Prime, for all the damage that he had inflicted upon—

Instant forgiveness, understanding, and a soft brush against his Spark that reassured him that there were no hard feelings held against him for his actions while still reprogramming himself from the hack. It was a very Cybertronian response, rather than a human response.

It was beautiful to him.

Megatron "stood" beside him, Optimus "fading" to be closer to Sam, still unsettled by the distance that had to be created for the Boy to remain safe. There was a part of the big Prime's Spark that could only be touched and soothed by Sam. None who knew either of them could blame their need for each other in the aftermath of Detroit's battle. Flamewar bracketed Soundwave's other side, and he felt their corner of the Cloud grow silent. The vibrations stilled, privacy enshrouding the trio.

Soundwave dared not break the peace. He felt a hand rest upon his shoulder firmly, gripping and turning him to see Megatron as he should be, as he was in truth. Whole, undamaged. Shining, polished, gleaming, gorgeous to those who felt the Sparkpulse and pull of a keen and brilliant mind. He could hide this damned mechling crush no longer, not with the new connections of Primacy and Protectorate, of Cloud and Vibration. He turned away, pulling from the hand of his master.

Only to face Flamewar. Nightbird, once upon a time and never again known as that name.

Who pulled his helm to hers, voice soft, somehow not shattering him as she pushed his visor away from his optics. "You don't have to hide who and what you are anymore."

"No, I—" He was shaking apart at the welds, scarred faceplates twitching, wanting to escape her penetrating gaze.

"Why?"

Why didn't he say anything before the war? As a formal Trine, Bonded and mated, they could have prevented Megatron's hack. They could have prevented so much pain and death and damage. He regretted not being forward with his affection for centuries. But it was because none dared Sparkbond with the Lord Protector . . . Why hadn't he said that he didn't want to be a Prime because he felt that it would put distance between himself and the one he dared love? Dared love because Megatron was still committed to Nightbird-Flamewar. Dared to follow because he had no other choice? Why didn't he trust Flamewar with his whole Spark? Why didn't he not let her know of his full-Sparked platonic adoration towards her?

He keened softly, unable to answer.

He didn't have the answers.

But Flamewar, now his Protectorate, now his confidant in the way that Megatron was Optimus' confidant, close to his Spark, close to the truth, knew the truth.

Knew he loved them both. Knew that his loyalty was the only reason why he remained and why he hadn't defected to assist Blaster.

The heat from a large mech lined up against his back, a soft nuzzle at the back of his helm. And Soundwave realized that Megatron knew.

"With your help, my old friend, my most loyal supporter, with your trust, the Decepticons had become more powerful and less insane than Shockwave could have dared dream of."

"We murdered with excellence," Soundwave murmured, broken.

"We have the opportunity to pay for our war crimes."

"Do we deserve happiness, Lord Protectors? Do we truly deserve anything but misery for all that we have destroyed?"

"Destroyed . . . but also protected." Flamewar stroked fingertips along his cheeks, carefully allowing him to see that she cared very much about the mech who kept a careful watch over Megatron's Spark. "I can share his Spark with you, Soundwave. You've kept it safe for all these millennia when I couldn't do more than work from a distance."

Crimson optics dimmed, and the former Enforcer sagged slightly in their embrace. "I am not taking Megatron's—" Gasping, he felt.

"You could never take any affection away from Flamewar; she knows that should I attempt to give her all the affection within my Spark, she would be smothered. Optimus tolerates the closeness of our Sparks because he knows me. And you? You! Teasing me with each new form you took, each as sleek and divinely-inspired, reflecting your keen mind and strong Spark and inspiring me to remain worthy of your loyalty," the slightly-older mech growled softly, brushing gentle fingertips, actual fingertips and not the claws of war, along his jawline to tip the helm upwards again. "But I was not stable, not sane, for much of the war, and would have only hurt you time and time again. I refused to injure you."

Soundwave turned with a sob, feeling himself fully enveloped within two sets of warrior's arms as he pushed his face against Megatron's chest, close to the swift thrumming of the warlord's life-source.

"You don't have to fight anymore, Soundwave," Flamewar whispered, pressing her face against the back of his neck. "We will fight for you, guard you, help you follow your Spark's desire as you've never been able to fully express it before. Beloved, please let us in. Please let us support you, our sweet, patient, Silent Prime."

And weeping, keening, Soundwave did.

.o.

Sam turned his gaze away with a smile, feeling the Trine Sparkbond take, hold, balance, and heal. He smiled up at his brother, who smiled gently back with a nod. "I have to go take care of a bit of unfinished business on the Other Side for a short while."

"Will you be taking your Protectorate?"

"Yeah. This is as good a time as any to introduce him to the Veil. He'll be visiting it enough on his own as he matures. I want to really set the precedent that the Lord Protectors are to be as engaged in the Primely duties as the Primes themselves."

"Less of a distinction between civilian and military. I approve of this tactic and will assist in implementing it. Very well. I will go take care of our lovebirds. Do you see any need aside from solar energon?"

Sam glanced over, letting the AllSpark knowledge scroll through his mind softly, then tipped his head. "Add some magnesium for Flamewar, she's low. Ratchet should have packets for Megatron's needed additives already lined up." He frowned at Soundwave. "Odd readings off of him, but I haven't interacted much with his frame-type, so he probably needs extra minerals and metals anyway."

"I'll bring Ratchet; it'll give him something to both smile and bitch about. I wish that we could give them the celebration that they deserve."

"Humans won't understand the timing or significance. We can always spoil them when we get to Cybertron."

"First Bonding celebration?" Prime was giddy and headed off on that note.

Sam turned and held his hands out, waiting. Within a few heartbeats, metal hands that were the same size as his own rested in his palms. To the core of his being, Faustus still felt like he was a Youngling. It was reassuring to him to be able to still be small enough that Sam could hold and reassure him while in the Cloud. "Hi, brother."

"Hi, brother," Sam greeted softly, pulling the crested helm close to touch foreheads. "I'm going to be breaking the rules again."

"We're fucking up tradition?"

"Hell, yeah."

"Hot shit. What now?"

Sam turned and they dropped. The Door stood before them. The Boy's hand reached out and traced a glyph. "Traditionally, the AllSpark Priest-Prime's Lord Protector would never dare cross the Veil. It was supposedly their place to guard the physical form of the Prime while they communed with Primus or other Sparks and souls on the other side. But you have the right Spark-resonance to traverse both realms without feeling the pull to stay in one or the other."

"The Seeker-Spark."

"Yes." Sam was grinning broadly.

"So why do you want me with you?"

"Because I need to speak with a few Seekers, and so should you. You're at a plateau since your Seeker programming from Jetfire completed the implementation process, and we don't have any Autobot Seekers left to help you develop further skills."

The crest flattened in shock but the young Protectorate started bouncing on his toes, wings high and excited. "I get to talk to the Command Trine?! Starscream and Skywarp and Thundercracker?!"

"Talk, nothing. I'm going to have them teach you." The doors opened silently, and Sam darted through. "But only if you can catch me!"

Laughing, the chase led them through several corners of the Prime's Realm, the Afterlife, the Hereafter, startling many old Sparks and bringing a laugh to many of the AllSpark Priests and Protectorates who had dared defy tradition like the two Mechlings who played tag to get the little Protectorate used to the various environments that were available to all who respectfully requested entry. Finally, exhausted in the most satisfying way, Sam let himself be caught, tumbled with Faustus (large and seeming to be in his Adult frame again) curling around him to shield him from any injury.

Laying on their backs, they looked up, watching as three helms tipped down into their field of vision. Thundercracker chuckled, deep voice rolling gently over the two. "Little Fledgling needs to learn to trust his thrusters a little more, eh?"

"I wasn't Sparked into something with propulsion, Elder," Faustus teased in return. "I was a fucking television set."

"Awww, I like him," Skywarp cooed. "He's so sassy."

Sam sat up, smiling at Starscream. "Hello, Winglord."

The mech remained silent for a long while before bowing his helm. "My greetings and greatest apologies, Prime."

"Forgiven."

Starscream blinked. "Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"I deserve penance."

"You already served your sentence. Living millennia without your Bondmates under the geasa of a shit-ton of nonconsensual programming that literally made each waking moment a living hell to try to function through the madness? I'd say you've only got to forgive yourself."

Skywarp reached over and flicked Starscream's wing. "Slagging told you so. Thank you for your confirmation, Prime."

"My pleasure. I've two favors to cash in, though, if you would prefer to do something new that will assist us and help you feel better about making amends."

Starscream knelt, a fist resting upon the ground. "AllSpark Prime, I would pledge an eternity away from the skies, would you decree it my punishment."

"Not a punishment. A favor. Two of them, and no more than that." He held up his first finger. "You said you knew me in another lifetime. I'd like to know in what capacity, as well as a few pieces of information that may or may not relate to that incarnation. I truly don't need to know more about who I was, unless Primus and the rest all feel that it's something necessary at some point to help me become a better Prime."

"Wise. You were a Vosnian Priest, and one of my mentor's mentors. Your body language and temperament became different with your human upbringing, but your Spark resonates on the same wavelengths. You were very old when I had met you the first time, hardly able to move anymore, but you tolerated a bitlet like me crawling over your lap with great patience. That incarnation rejoined the AllSpark shortly after I gained my Youngling frame."

"Interesting. So you knew me pretty well as an old geezer?"

"As well as any child wishes to know an old person. I was more interested in playing while she was interested in making sure I learned my lessons."

"She, huh?"

"Closest approximation of gender, as Brightsky was closer to the female-coded Spark and was Trine-bonded to two tsche-Sparked Tetrajets."

"How does a Spark turn into a human soul?"

"Physics. Not easy ones to explain, but there's a certain set of wavelengths that will show the physical form of a Spark to a human's naked eye. We are able to process more than just the visual, and Sparks are very durable-yet-delicate lifesources. With the AllSpark on earth, there are many humans who have Cybertronian Spark-traits. Some, like yourself, show up on our scanners within a few wavelengths of having a Spark." The scientist in Starscream was now brimming with ideas and theories. "It would be wise to propose a study of how the AllSpark interacted with the humans in proximity to it during the gestation of the proto-human—"

"Fetus," Sam supplied.

"Fetus, then. Seeing how the AllSpark energies changed the fetus or birthed infant."

Something was pressing against Sam's mind. "Mom said that I was born not breathing, but came back within five minutes. I was a preemie." He looked up at the Trine questioningly.

Skywarp was the one who came up with the first possible answer. "It could have been that the soul you were supposed to have was not ready yet. Or that your father's Spark-resonance that he inherited from Archibald with the approaching proximity of Cybertronians to Earth again was a signal of Things To Come." The capitalization was clear, almost as if Sam had received a message from Skywarp to his nanites. It'd been done in the past. Thank Jazz. Fucker had learned about and implemented emojis and reaction gifs into the nanite programming, which updated post-Detroit for the humans. Sam spammed him in "thanks" at least once a day.

Faust, having been very quiet during this time, nodded. "That would make sense to Cybertronian minds, but not to human minds, I would guess."

"More than likely." Sam turned his head to his brother, then pursed his lips, thinking. "I wonder if you got the soul I was supposed to get. Maybe that's why you scan as being more human in behavior than Cybertronian, despite all the mods and programming that claims otherwise."

"Huh." Faustus looked up at the sky. "Human-Seeker hybrid Spark?"

Skywarp squeed, looking fit to burst. He wanted to teach this kid how to really fly. Thundercracker created a hologram and began to scroll through Faustus' schematics, optics narrowed and lips pursed in thought. Starscream simply rested his palm over the young Spark. "Off of my Fledgling, AllSpark Prime. I claim his Spark to train in the ways of his ancestors."

Sam hopped off with a grin. "If you teach him to fly even half as well as you did when you ruled Vos, Seeker, I would be indebted to you."

"He may not be Winglord, but he will make any Seeker proud to stand in his presence. Leave him with us. This may take some time for the initial lessons, but we will return him to you without too much time passing in the mortal realms. Expect him to recharge for several human hours shortly after returning. He will let you know when it's time to return for the next lesson."

"I trust my Brother into your care, Winglord."

"I will guard his Spark as I guard my Trine's."

"See to it that you do." Sam patted Faustus' shoulder on the way off of the massive chest. "See you when you get back. Have fun."

Returning to the Cloud, Sam continued his way through and opened his eyes with a smile and a sigh. Stretching, he looked up to see Carly watching him from the doorway into their private room. They had been assigned a bunk with NEST, which brought everyone a lot of peace. "Hey, beautiful. How're Mirage and Hound doing?"

"They're settling down again. Mirage takes a long time to cool off after battles, but between Hound and myself pampering him, he seemed to feel a lot better by the time I left." She settled down beside him. "So we have Soundwave as part of our Tribe because Laserbeak loves me?"

"Somewhat. The Tribes are still a long way off from being fully separate, as they used to be on Cybertron long before the Matrixes were lost to Earth. I think that this is a better model, though. Interconnected, unable to fully separate from each other, but able to act very independently when situations call for it." He brushed his hand over the top of her head, leaning up to kiss her cheek. "We're technically part of Optimus' Tribe, since he was the connection with the AllSpark. So having Soundwave, who is sensitive to frequencies and vibrations, be part of our Tribe to assist in locating other Sparks is extraordinarily beneficial."

"Hm. We're sharing him with Megatron, then?"

Sam blinked.

"I saw them hug. And Megatron kissed his helm. It was actually quite adorable. Flamewar was very snuggly with both. Other humans were staring." Carly seemed proud of the situation.

"Oh shit, is it on the web?" Sam pulled his phone out and started pinging Jazz about it.

Until he stopped and grinned. "Well, shit." Holding it up, he showed Carly the first headline.

EVIL OVERLORD IN LOVE WITH HIS TROOPS?

More filled in afterwards.

POLYAMOROUS ALIENS GET SNUGGLY!

THE REAL POWER BEHIND THE DECEPTICON THRONE: FLAMEWAR

WHAT'S THE TRUTH? WHAT IS EVIL? NOT THIS WHOLESOME SIGHT!

WHAT DO WE EVEN CALL THIS SHIP NAME?

WE KNEW IT! ROBOTS CLANG UGLIES LIKE THE REST OF US MORTALS!

MEGATRON SNUGGLES UP TO FORMER COMMANDERS

WHO ARE MEGATRON'S LOVERS?!

WE'RE IN LOVE WITH MEGATRON'S LOVE TRIANGLE!

WHO IS SHE?! FLAMEWAR CLAIMS BOTH MEGATRON AND SOUNDWAVE AS LOVERS!

"This is so mushy, and I love every single thing about it," Sam moaned softly, still scrolling through and seeing the same TMZ videos pop up. "Oh no, someone got video!"

So he played it with a massive grin.

"Soundwave, your patience in waiting for me cannot be repaid. I am in your debt many lifetimes over."

"Lord—"

"No. Never 'Lord' to you again. Not unless formality decrees it, beloved."

"If you two get a room, I'm so there to watch. You make such a pretty picture."

"We would get a warehouse," Megatron crooned. "And what makes you think that you wouldn't be my first order of business, my dear?"

Human catcalls startled the trio, making Flamewar laugh openly while the other two looked keenly embarrassed at being caught. One brave soul called up, "Hey! How do you guys have sex? The Autobots never talked about it!"

"Neither did the Decepticons," Flamewar retaliated with a barked laugh. She leaned closer to the crowd. "Just because we don't have human genders doesn't mean we can't get have our own forms of intimacy. Now. The Autobots had a pact that until the war was over, we weren't going to talk about certain topics. I'm not yet familiar on which ones, but intimacy is certainly one of the ones I would have been hesitant to bring up." She winked. "But for now, I'm going to leave it to your collective imagination while I reacquaint myself with my longtime lover and spoil my new lover. Shoo, little creatures, shoo!" She waved them off, turning and offering Soundwave both a broad smile and her elbow in the fashion that a human male of European manners would have offered a female to escort her somewhere.

The video ended with Megatron winking and following at a respectful distance.

Sam's jaw was scraping his chest, stubble uncomfortable against his neck.

He grinned.

Sent the video to Optimus.

Counted down on his fingers with a three, two, one.

"PRIMUS! FLAMEWAR!"

Laserbeak shot into the room and hid under Sam's cot, hissing. "He's upset! Upset leaders become violent!"

"Yeah, he's upset, but Optimus won't be violent towards any of us. Flamewar broke a rule that was becoming outdated," Sam replied, reaching his hand down and stroking the smooth head. "I know that a hacked Megatron was violent, but remember that he's not hacked anymore, Laserbeak. He'd rather take his leg off than to harm anyone on his side. We're on his side, and he's on our side, too. Neither Optimus nor Megatron will hurt you or me or Carly or Soundwave . . . I promise." He managed to get the symbiont to lean against his leg. "C'mon, we can do some grooming while your master is . . . occupied."

Laserbeak began to slither up onto Sam's lap. "Thank you, because I have no desire to know what he's doing. When will my siblings arrive?"

Sam curled the condor against his chest, supporting the slight weight easily. "Soon. When Ravage is stable for space flight and we've got a clearing from some country to have a shuttle land and bring all of your kin from Mars. Are you okay bunking with my tribe tonight?"

"Mm. After a good wash, yes. It has been a long day."

The ground rumbled and Sam felt Faustus' mind brush his own and then settle down close to the barracks building before falling into recharge. "We can even sleep in Faustus' hold if you'd like, if you're okay with our Younglings sleeping close to you."

"Please, Prime. I don't want to sleep alone tonight. Your Younglings are quite valuable and diligent in their work with the humans. They have . . . forgiven me, too."

"You got it, Feathers." Sam stood, curling Laserbeak over his left shoulder, his right hand in Carly's as they walked out and braved the media standing at the gates. They'd show that they trust at least some of the Cons. It was a long road to walk, but it had to start somewhere. "And the kids have said that they like having folks their size around. They think that you're cool, but you're older than they are so they're intimidated."

"I would be happy to get to know them better tonight."

"Should be a peaceful one; we're due for some rebuild time. I give it at least two days before shit hits the fan again."

Of course, that was when Cybertron hailed Optimus, who immediately recalled all Primes and Protectorates for an emergency meeting.

.o.

Author's Note: I wasn't expecting this to flow as easily as it had, but damn did I finally get the chance to work on some of the closure and "tying up" of some loose ends. (Soundwave may end up tied up, but hey, I'm kinky af, and he's probably a rope bunny that enjoys predicament ties.)

Seriously, that whole Starscream bit was only one line in my outline: "Sam goes to check on Starscream, meets the Trine, works some shit out." It turned out SO much better than I could have anticipated. That closure is for my Sparklet. I know this is a hard day for you. All my love to you.

Once this fic is over, I'm going to be doing a deep edit of the AO3 version. My goal is to have more accurate gender and sexuality labels and definitions, fix typos, grammar, and make sure that line breaks are where they're supposed to be. The FFnet version will not be edited, since that's a much more involved process. For example, I still have the Cybertronians listed in the initial chapter as "asexual" when realistically, they're "physically non-gendered" and have in developed very different concepts of how gender works in their society over the last several years of building this fic. (I've also had several years of knowing several trans individuals who have been amazing in educating me.) The Great Clean-Up will be announced once I'm certain that this Monster Baby is completed for those who would like to see the edited chapters as I update them.