Tanya supposed this was it. She had her guns, her relics, money, clothing, a – now bulging – leather bag, spare underwear, and as much extra ammunition as she could hold.
Bill had been aghast when she'd demanded every last piece of spare metal he had to make what she wanted, but he'd caved when she'd shoved a large bag full of Eris under his nose.
Of course, the most important part of this trip was also with her. Viktoriya looked almost as wistful as Tanya felt, but Tanya was sure that she was also just as convinced as Tanya was that they needed to do this.
They hadn't spent hours debating the subject as they walked from location to location in Axel for it to be any other way.
As they looked for their carriage, Tanya listened in on the conversations going on around them. Idle chatter could give her some information, and it distracted her from the one person she hadn't said goodbye to.
"We're going to the capital to get some provisions, and then we'll be heading towards Arcanretia the long way. Don't give me that look, we can brave the presence of the Crimson Demons for a few days."
"It's a shame that the King has to be away from the capital, but Iris has been doing as well as can be expected."
"Why can't they get rid of Alderp? Even if they don't have evidence, he's clearly corrupt."
"Have you heard what that Priest Zachary is doing?"
"Too bad Elroad's declining. I'd have loved to travel there, but if they aren't supporting Belzerg, then I don't want to give them my money."
Conversations flitted passed her ears, but the pair of women eventually found their cart. Like every other one, it had a beige covering that Tanya didn't know the name of across the top, and a single horse sat in the front.
Unlike some of the other ones, however, it was quite… dilapidated. The wheels looked thin and worn, the horse looked weathered, and the covering had patches of cloth stitched into it over holes torn in it in the past. The wood looked creaky, and the moment Tanya touched the thing with a single outstretched finger, all of it creaked ominously.
"Are you sure we can't go back to Wiz?" asked Viktoriya. Tanya was about to nod – losing her life to something as ridiculous as a rickety wagon seemed moronic, especially when it could be avoided – but a voice echoed out from inside.
"All y'all are the adventurers, then?"
Out of the darkness – and how did he make it look so dark inside when it was nearly midday? – emerged an elderly looking man who must own the scratchy voice they'd heard.
A short, gray beard hugged the scarred face of the imposing man. His stature and gaze seemed to be more characteristic of someone half the age of his voice, and Tanya couldn't help but compare him to an older and even more reckless Rudersdorf.
He stared at them for a moment more, before a vicious smile broke out on his face. "My cart ain't the best, as I'm sure y'all can see, but I assure you that you'll at least survive the trip with me. I used to be an adventurer, so I've enough experience protecting caravans of goods than you two ever will."
Tanya didn't doubt that – she couldn't see herself doing this very often – but she still regretted choosing to be stingy with her money. She should have just flown to the capital and let everyone assume she had teleported or something, or asked to be put on a better cart, or just have paid to be a passenger instead of also being some of the hired muscle.
Still, she hadn't done any of that, and as long as she was going to be on this cart…
She held out a hand. "Tanya von Degurechaff."
He leaped down from the cart, and Tanya realized that he was very tall, even without the added height of the cart. He might have even broke six and a half feet.
He crouched down so that he was eye level with her, smirked at her disapproving glare, and shook her hand. "I'm Mark. I haven't yet had the privilege of escorting nobility, and I assumed I never would. Thank you for the honor, miss."
Without another word, Tanya hopped on the cart, clearing the distance between the ground and the wagon in a single leap. She didn't turn around, but she could tell the confused edge in his greeting of Viktoriya that he probably thought he would have had help her up.
That made it worth the pain in her side.
Rapidly, her eyes adjusted to the darkness in the interior. Crates with animals – some smaller livestock, like chickens and goats, some monstrous – lined the walls, while two seats, probably for her and Viktoriya, were closest to the front.
Tanya sighed, and sat down on the one on the right, setting her rifle down on the seat. Viktoriya soon hopped on, and sat opposite of her. She looked around, trying to find something that was… acceptable.
…This was a downgrade from pretty much everything she'd traveled in in her last life.
Still, it wasn't… too bad. Just as Tanya was about to settle in – she didn't anticipate seeing too much action on the way there, at least compared to her time in Axel – Viktoriya spoke up.
"Could I see the… um, contract? I didn't ever get to look at mine for very long," she asked.
Tanya shrugged and handed her bulging bag to the woman while raising an eyebrow. "What happened to yours?"
She looked down nervously. "I… don't know, to be honest. I think I must have lost it while I was running from you, or when you carried me to Wiz's shop."
Tanya sighed, but she pointed at a pocket of her bag regardless. "I have a copy in the smaller pocket on the inside. It's got a lock," she said.
Just as she was about to tell her the combination, a commotion began to make itself known outside of the wagon.
"The date we got sent here!" she shouted as she ran out. She was blinded by the light outside the wagon, but, squinting, she was able to make out the situation.
Relief flooded her. Darkness was standing there, clad in not her armor, but her casual black coat, white blouse, and relatively short black dress that made her look like some sort of odd cross between a school teacher and a ballroom dancer.
She was speaking angrily to the merchant that was transporting them. "I demand to see her!"
He shook his head steadily. "No can do. I'm contract bound to protect them as they protect me. That contract might have cost me more, but it guarantees that we'll both protect each other. While I'm sure you could pass for her mother, I won't-"
She interrupted him, and Tanya's shame at not seeking her out more thoroughly to say goodbye was violently killed. "No! I must see Tanya! If you insist on stopping me, you'll have to make me. Even if you do horrible, perverted things to my body, I'll not stop until you destroy my very spirit!"
Tanya hopped down and walked over. "Darkness, please don't freak out the poor merchant," she said, gesturing to the merchant that looked like he was regretting having chosen to get the contract he mentioned.
Darkness's face lit up, and Tanya decided to get this over with.
Gripping the woman's arm roughly, she Reinforced herself and frog-marched her behind the rickety cart. All the way, Darkness put up a feeble resistance – because Tanya could tell that she wasn't putting her full effort into escaping – while her face told Tanya all she needed to know about how she really felt.
They stopped, and Tanya unhanded her. "There. I gave you your buzz of pleasure. Now, what do you want?" Tanya asked, ignoring the incredulous expression that had blossomed on Darkness's face.
"What- What do you mean?"
Tanya blinked once, and then she spat out a name she'd come up with after she had verbally dismantled that other noble. "Lalatina Lewdiness."
Her face became more panicked, but before she could deny anything, Tanya just shook her head. "No. What do you want? We're supposed to leave in a couple of minutes."
The Crusader's libido calmed for a moment, a sudden… profoundness overcoming her expression of ecstasy. "Tanya…"
She smiled. No desire for punishment. No kernel of distrust. No air of questioning. Just a simple smile.
"Thank you for being my friend."
Tanya smiled back, and then she shook her head. "Jeez. I didn't know you were such a sap. It's not like we won't ever meet again. I'll go to the capital for a few months, sure, but it isn't like I won't ever come back here."
Darkness huffed at Tanya's dismissal, but both were still smiling. "Fine. I have to stay here. With all the adventuring and trying to figure out what your past is, I've neglected my duties."
Tanya gave her a curious look, and the Crusader explained. "My father and I came here, allegedly, because he wanted me to get a sense of what adventurers were really like. His dotting on me is well known, and there are other reasons for using that excuse. However, one of our true goals is to look into the corruption of the nobles around here."
"Undine, Tennessee, Alexei; there are many powerful nobles here that the King and my Father agree need to be checked on." Darkness declared this with a rather self-satisfied expression, but Tanya was much more skeptical.
She hadn't had to check for spies with the 203rd – none of them would have dared to cross her after the hell she put them through in training – but Rerugen had told her about how he was sure there were a number of traitors around him.
Tanya was sure that the man wouldn't lie to her, and she had also thought that Being X might have gotten really heavy-handed with the Empire's staff. She didn't doubt that he could, and it was only really a matter of if he would.
Tanya shook her head to clear away the old memories and leveled a skeptical eyebrow at Darkness.
"Are they corrupt, or are they disloyal?"
Darkness gave her a very confused look, and Tanya shrugged. "Corrupt implies that they've been accepting bribes from people they aren't supposed to be accepting bribes from, or they have some other kind of monetary crime to pay for. Disloyal means that they've chosen to go against the King."
She shrugged, and Tanya shook her head. This was why she liked her own time so much more.
These things were much clearer cut than the bickering of family members over a piece of inherited land or your ownership of a bunch of gaudy jewelry.
Suddenly, Tanya heard the Merchant call down to them. "If y'all are done, I'd like to get a move on."
Tanya jumped slightly, but she nodded regardless, and jumped onto the wagon again. She stared out of the front at Darkness, waving to her as they left.
As her… friend left the gathering area just on the inside of Axel, Darkness sighed wistfully. She wondered if she'd ever find someone like Tanya again, or if she'd ever find Chris and get an explanation for why she'd tried to kill Tanya.
Shrugging to herself, she left the area, wondering if she could find another party to go on adventures with so that her father wouldn't try and get her married to some noble's son.
She shivered at the memory of Alderp's son, and tried to push passed it and focus on the investigation into his father's corruption. Adventuring would come later. For now, there was work to do.
-OxOxO-
Tanya, meanwhile, had ducked passed the merchant into the wagon. An odd sight greeted her.
As expected, Viktoriya was still sitting in her seat. She smiled nervously at Tanya and shot her a helpless look, while motioning to the spot beside her, instead of towards the seat across from her. Tanya's bag had been zipped up and, along with Viktoriya's, been shoved under her seat. Both of their rifles were above them, resting on a hanging shelf that shook with the movement of the cart.
What wasn't expected was the other occupant of the wagon. Tanya blinked, and then squeezed in next to Viktoriya, trying not to focus too much on the other person.
If you ignored the very obvious signs that they were not normal, you could mistake them for a human.
Their looks didn't stand out. The white hair was odd for Tanya to see, but she'd seen lots of people, young and old with more shocking colors of hair that they claimed were natural. White was a bit old hat compared to blue-with-purple-polka-dots and red-yellow-orange, and their hair was a bit shorter than Tanya's, so it didn't stand out because of length, either.
They were taller than even Mark was, which was astounding, considering how far she had to tilt her head up to see his face. Her face wasn't especially sharp or round, and the only thing notable about it was that her nose seemed oddly small.
Their clothing didn't stand out. The jacket was cut a bit too broadly for Tanya's tastes, with just a bit too much fabric around the cuffs, but the light, pastel blue and nearly-white colors seemed to fit, even if the black on the underside of the arms seemed out of place.
Her shirt and pants were black, her pants were also long and flowing, and the whole of the outer outfit seemed to be held together with a bunch of yellow clasps that looked much like the jewelry around her neck and the rings in her… ears…
Tanya shook her head, aware that they had just shot her and Viktoriya a curious stare.
No matter how much she tried, it was impossible to ignore her features that told Tanya that she wasn't human.
Two long, rabbit-like ears poked out of the top of her head, each of them with a pair of thick, flat gold rings in them.
The carriage jumped a bit, and Tanya bumped into Viktoriya. She apologized in Germanian under her breath. Viktoriya waved her concerns away, and an uncomfortable silence overtook the interior. The sound of the cart's mild groaning was only interrupted by the vegetables and the animals within.
Wishing that she had something to look at instead of just stare at anything but the person across from her, Tanya turned to Viktoriya. "You find what you were looking for in the contract?"
For a moment, the woman next to her froze, and then she began to talk. "Yes. What I found was… interesting."
Viktoriya left it at that, staring down at the floor of the wagon and saying nothing else. Mostly, she just hoped Tanya wouldn't go into it.
Viktoriya had looked at that contract, alright. Its pages had been worn, and it had skipped around portions of it, going from the beginning pages to somewhere in the middle instead of in a linear path, like… an actual book. Viktoriya supposed that that was because it was losing whatever magic it had.
She'd quickly pushed the oddity of the contract out of her mind and, when she managed to find it, instead read the portion about Tanya. Almost all of it that spoke about her personality was nearly completely false – Tanya was a bit mean sometimes, but she'd mellowed out a bit as the war dragged on.
Except towards her enemies.
The section on her powers had been incomplete, and even Viktoriya could see that the section on how to beat her wouldn't have been very helpful.
Except for one line. At the very end of the description on how to beat her, it had mentioned something about… her love.
That had seemed odd, to Viktoriya. Tanya had seemed extremely uninterested in romance – or anything that might even resemble such a thing – back in the Empire, the very few times anyone from outside the 203rd had had the gall to ask her about it.
For a few moments, Viktoriya had wondered who had managed to do it.
Then she had remembered. Tanya had told Viktoriya she was a man in her last life. Which meant…
Viktoriya had fought down the blush again, doing as many formulas in her head as she could to try and avert the thoughts.
They were both women, and… while that wasn't too much of a problem in the Empire…
No! Viktoriya had shaken her head again as memories – horribly embarrassing ones – drifted through her head. Tanya had made her opinions on herself and a relationship clear on the Eastern Front.
It wasn't happening, and-
And before she had gotten to take a longer look at the section, the person – no, beastman, that was what Tanya had told her they were called – had wandered in. Viktoriya had closed the contract and shoved it into the bag, dragging Tanya's things to her own side.
She glanced down, eyeing Tanya's bag. She needed to look at that line again. Tanya might-
She shook her head, and sharply turned it towards Tanya. She'd just… talk to Tanya. She'd forget about that line soon enough, and focus on getting stronger and more skilled and helping Tanya and not on a fanciful, impossible dream.
Tanya jumped back a bit at Viktoriya's quick movements, but she thanked her regardless for getting her out of the precarious position of having to apologize for staring.
If Tanya just ignored it, then things would be fine.
"So, what are we going to do once we get into the capital? They said it should only take eight days to get there."
Tanya nodded, and then sighed. "Still, if I had known that Wiz could have just teleported us, I would have done that in a heartbeat. Would have been much easier…"
Again, they settled into silence. Tanya opened her bag and began to go over the information Verdia had given her. It was best to be sure about such things, after all.
Viktoriya read over her shoulder, pressing into her. Tanya licked her lips nervously, and then blinked, trying to chase away thoughts about Viktoriya's… very close body.
As she leaned back, Tanya realized this was going to be a long eight days. Pressed against Viktoriya and sharing a room with someone she didn't know while travelling along was going to get very old, very fast.
Across from them, Tanya saw that the beastman was shooting them a suspicious. Tanya didn't know what it was for, and she wasn't really in the mood to find out.
She held up her papers and began to read, missing the dejected and angry look the beastman shot at the floor.
-OxOxO-
Tanya had been right. Things got old and grating. She'd read everything Verdia had given her, and then moved on to whatever else she could find.
Her own Reincarnation Contract – no change.
The contract she'd taken from her first kill – still malfunctioning.
The designs for her weapons, bullets, clips and magazines, Computation Jewels, even the inventions that she hadn't shown to Wiz – still in pristine condition in small 'plastic' bags that she hadn't yet sold due to the cost of making them.
She'd even taken a look at her Adventurer's Card. She was still level eighteen, she still had only three Skill Points, and she was… thirty-seven Skill Points away from learning that spell the Undead Mage had used, as well as a total of 100 hours of studying necromancy, according to the thing.
The Amalgamation spell's description said that trying to control what you summoned – that being the type of undead that was created and the physical movements of the summoned undead – depended on your Magic-Power, your willpower, and your health.
Considering all of that, Tanya wasn't sure if it would be worth the effort to save up the points when she could get something far more practical sooner.
Using it as some sort of distraction wasn't any good either, since Tanya could just reveal her powers of flight and leave a battle if she didn't think she could win.
Tanya had managed to debate the subject internally for a good hour and a half, going over complicated scenarios that she was fairly sure wouldn't happen.
After that, she managed to distract herself for long enough by going over 'her' inventions, making a list of other things she could create, and finally asked Viktoriya if she could think of anything to create. Finally, the sun had begun to set.
Mark had yelled to them to get out and help the other wagons and their adventurers set up camp. The pair had helped a group of seven other adventurers move the carts and horses into a circle, where they'd set up a number of campfires.
The Merchants and those that had paid to be just passengers had gone to sleep closest to the center, while Tanya, Viktoriya, and the rest of the hired help had slept closer to the edge.
Tanya and Viktoriya had set up their tents, and then talked to Mark to ask about their shift.
Clad in what appeared to be pajamas, he scratched his beard. "Right. You two get the first shift. Wake up some of the others next to the largest wagon when the moon is at its highest."
Tanya nodded, not saying anything and already trying to figure out how to make a cheap pocket watch.
She was sure some Reincarnate had figured out how to make clocks before her – things at the guild moved much too smoothly for there not to be some sort of timekeeping device there – but making an affordable watch for people like Mark to use could rake in a lot of cash.
Before she could think about the specifics, however, Viktoriya said goodnight to the man, and Mark turned around, a slightly apologetic look on his scarred face.
"Listen… about today. I'm sorry about making you two have to sit near one of them beasties," he said, mournful.
Tanya was about to wave him off – they didn't mind being next to vegetables and animals that much – but his next words changed Tanya's forgiving look into a much more pained expression.
"I'd have denied their contract if I'd have known one of you were nobility. If you want, I can make her walk back to Axel. It'll cost me a bit, but if you want her gone…"
He trailed off, and Tanya snapped back to reality, shaking her head. "We don't mind. Goodnight," she replied stiffly, turning her back on him quickly. Viktoriya followed behind her, a faint aura of rueful smugness radiating from her.
Tanya sighed, and fished through her bag, pulling out a large bag of money. She turned towards Viktoriya, who shrugged. "I told you Tanya: regardless of how much they've been influenced by whatever ideas the Reincarnates brought through, they're still going to be prejudiced in some way."
Tanya playfully glared at her, more upset about being wrong than how much money she was giving up. "I knew that. Even the nobility of the Empire engaged in a bit of nepotism instead of adhering to their meritocratic ideology. That's why I bet that the only problems would be centered on the nobility and the traits associated with them and the peasantry."
Viktoriya took the money, and Tanya muttered, "Since when were you the cynical one?"
The girl, putting away Tanya's money into her own bag, shrugged. "You placed a lot of weight on the progress of mankind and not a lot on emotions and feelings, Tanya."
Tanya just rolled her eyes. "Well, we don't have to subscribe to whatever idiotic ideas they have about the beastmen," she said, resting against their wagon. The girl had probably been so quiet the entire journey because she thought they were just as prejudiced as everyone else.
As she settled in for the watch, Viktoriya's words reminded her of her fight with Chris. She'd certainly felt ni-
Tanya's face soured like milk, and she shook her head at the reminder. At Viktoriya's inquiring look, she sighed. "I suppose I should tell you what happened while Darkness knocked you out a few days ago, right? That briefing we did before we went to bed wasn't the most detailed…"
After a bit of explanation, Tanya was outlining her fight with 'Chris.' "She's taught me two things with that fight," Tanya said as she finished.
Viktoriya had been oddly quiet, but Tanya didn't blame her. She was probably surprised by Chris's audacity as well.
"We need to work on using weapons and skills other than our guns. We have a limited supply of bullets for now, which means we should be practicing using our skills."
Their Reinforcement spells were the main ones Tanya felt they needed to practice, but others, like the ice spells Viktoriya had learned from Wiz and the various spells that Tanya had learned, were more… usable than many of the ones that they had learned in their last life.
Exploding things was a very good option when you were fighting something that could kill you in an instant. But against things they wanted to salvage, like Giant Toads? Exploding them would decrease their value.
Improving their other spells and skills wouldn't be a bad idea.
"The second thing she taught me is that I really should expect anything. Tactics like kissing me on the lips work well, if they aren't expected."
Viktoriya nodded absently, just happy to be included and cursing herself for wondering if Tanya had enjoyed the kiss. Tanya was obviously thinking about the practical applications of such a thing.
Nothing more.
-OxOxO-
Nothing much of note had happened that night, besides having to fend off the occasional curious animal or wandering undead. They'd woken up the next group, and they'd thanked them.
Restful sleep and then morning had followed. Tanya had had a nice breakfast, and shown off some of her inventions to the curious merchants and adventurers. They had all loved the things – the lighters and the Ready-to-Eat-Meals most of all – and had bought every single product Tanya had, besides her medical supplies and the padlock on the important pocket of her bag.
A few merchants had asked about getting more of the items, and Tanya told them to talk to Wiz in Axel if they wanted more.
She'd spent the rest of the morning thinking of ideas for how to make some more inventions, and, by midday, decided that she'd had enough of the silence.
Besides, Tanya was sure that the woman across from them had caught Tanya staring more than once. She probably expected some sort of question by now.
Just as Tanya began to open her mouth, however, Mark's voice echoed through the wagon. "We got monsters approaching!"
The woman across from them shot up at a blinding speed, jumping quickly out of the back. Viktoriya followed, rifle in hand, and Tanya emerged later, cursing the slight discomfort in her side.
Stupid shrapnel. The pain was mostly gone, but it flared up at the oddest of times.
They got out, and watched a cloud of dust in the distance grow larger. Tanya took aim with her rifle, when an unfamiliar voice spoke out to her left. "You can see them from this distance?"
Tanya turned her head slightly. The soft, angry voice had come from the beastman who'd come with them. Tanya shrugged, and turned back to her rifle. "No. But I don't need to be able to see them to hit them."
With that, she muttered the spell for imbuing the bullet with an Explosive Vaporization, pulled the trigger, and smirked at the faint sound of an explosion.
The cloud, however, didn't seem to stop coming.
If anything, it had only increased in speed.
From her cart, she heard Mark shout. "Please, don't let them get us!"
Tanya's gaze towards his voice. Once curious, her gaze now became rather dejected. It seemed his claims of being a formidable adventurer before becoming a Merchant were completely false…
Tanya was about to turn around, but she heard several other cries arise from the line of carts. "Yes, please protect us! We won't survive an Orc attack! I don't want to lose my virginity to an Orc!"
Tanya's brow furrowed. Orcs?
She tried to remember where they might be from, and thought that she might have been told about them a while ago, when she was doing an escort mission. Why would someone complain about their virginity, though?
She turned back around, and her eyes widened. The cloud had gotten much closer. She could even make out several figures sprinting towards them. She ground her teeth and aimed again. Of course something in this mistake of a world could run faster than a car. Why not?
It wasn't like anything else made sense.
Eventually, they came close enough that the few female front line fighters present in the caravan moved forward to block their path, blocking Tanya's line of sight. Tanya lowered her rifle, taking the time to study her opponents.
She immediately regretted that decision, wishing that she had made Sioux's submachine gun already so she could blow them away.
Their skin, a disgusting blend of greens that reminded Tanya not of a quiet forest or the landscape as she flew passed it, but of toxic waste and puke, didn't help their looks. To top it off, their hair, brown and patchy, gave their already disgusting appearance an unkempt air.
Their physique, on the other hand, told Tanya that they probably didn't care what Tanya thought of their looks. Each of their bodies was taller than Tanya and Viktoriya, and their arms and legs were covered in muscles. By contrast, their torsos, while certainly not as bulbous as that noble from back in Axel, were certainly rotund.
The Orcs seemed to eye them, until one of them, seemingly fatter and more muscular than the rest, stepped forward. "Females! Leave this place. Let us rape and take our fill from every man in the caravan, and I promise not one of you will be hurt. In fact, take what you desire of their supplies and fortunes. We only want the men."
Tanya conceded that it spoke the language well, at least. Its predatory gaze hadn't yet lingered from the line of wagons, and the horde of other Orcs standing just behind it seemed to be drooling.
Tanya thought she might have even saw one of the things fondling itself, but she'd hoped that had been a very disgusting trick of the light.
None of them spoke anymore, and Tanya sighed. She supposed that she'd be the one to smooth things over.
Again.
Tanya stepped forward. "Our answer is no. They've paid us to protect them, and if you want to get to them, you'll have to go through us."
As Tanya spoke and stepped forward, all of their eyes became glued to her. Tanya thought, for a moment, that it might have been the rifle in her hands – people stared a lot whenever she used it.
However, their heavy panting only seemed to increase, and Tanya came to the sudden realization as to why they might be staring at her lustfully, if they were so interested in the men.
Uh oh.
"Actually, we can just use you," said their leader. Tanya's eyes widened, and she fought to keep calm.
Somehow, they'd figured out that she was a guy.
This was very bad.
"What are you talking about?" she asked, trying to play dumb while thinking of a plan that was a bit more nuanced than 'blow them all up right now as fast as possible.'
She had no doubt that plan would work, but considering how the Orcs didn't seem to be very angry at them, it was likely that they had managed to avoid the Explosive Vaporizations she had already shot at them.
If they could either avoid or even shrug off Explosive Vaporizations, she didn't really want to fight them close up.
The leader snorted. "Don't try and play coy with us. Your hair might be a bit long, but those clothes scream 'male.'"
Tanya countered, deciding that maybe it would be a good idea to retreat to the wagons with the others. "What self-respecting noble would let their son travel in a caravan through known Orc territory?"
As she continued to stall, Tanya had finally remembered that an Orc warning had been included in the contract she signed when she'd first signed the contract for this caravan.
The Merchants arranging this thing had rushed her past that part when it had mentioned it was only for males, and Tanya hadn't been able to come up with a good enough excuse to see it.
Obviously, she needed to read through these things more, even if well-meaning and unknowing Merchants tried to stop her.
Meanwhile, her statement about the nobility seemed to give the thing pause. She began to cast Reinforcement spells on herself as the Orc looked up again.
Just as it opened its mouth, Tanya turned to the cart and ran, jumping in the front one.
She looked inside, and found that there were five men crouched inside it, hiding behind boxes. She gave them an angry glare. "Get out here! I'm going to buff the horses, so I want you all ready to leave!"
They blinked at her, and then burst into action. It seemed they thought that their makeshift barrier made out of boxes of supplies were just as flimsy as Tanya had thought. She told the adventurers to tell the other carts, while she told the Merchants to wait.
She turned back to the horde of Orcs, and found that they were fighting the adventurers.
And winning.
Tanya groaned and then ran to the fray, her Agility Reinforcement spells burning through mana. She finally got there, decided that Viktoriya could handle two for now, and Reinforced a warrior in front of her.
The woman immediately began to overpower the Orc, her sword now striking flesh where it had been sailing through the air. Tanya nodded, and then rushed between fights, buffing agility and strength where she could.
She would have used the Pain-Reduction one too, but Tanya had needed time to acclimate to that spell in her last life. Plus, while she knew how much of the spell she could take before it began to interfere with her thought processes, she had no idea how much these adventurers could take before 'Pain-Reduction' turned into 'unable to hold weapons because nerves are too desensitized.'
Finally, after finishing with every standing adventurer, Tanya found a pair of Orcs that had managed to outmaneuver a Warrior and subdue a Mage. Tanya jumped in front of the downed adventurers, and…
She nearly retched as drool began to leak from their mouths.
"Such a wonderful specimen! We'll be able to make at least a dozen children with you. Maybe even fifty, if you keep using those fancy spells of yours!"
Tanya rolled her eyes and brandished her gun. Both of them looked at each other, and then they laughed.
Tanya just shook her head and put a bullet in the head of the one on the left.
They might be able to dodge spells when they were over a mile away, but up close, they couldn't react. The Orc was launched backwards, and the other one stared at Tanya, now wary.
Tanya was about to put a bullet through her head too, but the one she'd shot did the most remarkable thing.
It stood back up.
Slack-jawed, Tanya watched as the thing shakily stood on its legs, shook its head, and then stared at Tanya, more lustful than before.
In its forehead, Tanya could see a bullet hole. She blinked.
"You guys sure are strong…"
They grinned at her, and Tanya immediately began to pour mana into her Reinforcement spells and sharpened her blade. This might be a long fight.
She eyed them, and rushed towards the one on the left. She swung her blade in a wide arc, intent on cutting off something, but her blade met metal.
Or at least, it felt like it did. Her blade had sliced into its flesh just fine, but it had failed to cut thought whatever it had for bones. Her arms had reverberated from the impact.
She looked up at it, vaguely panicked for the first time in a while, and she gave it an apologetic smile.
While they both continued to leer at her and began to move to attack, Tanya ducked down and aimed her rifle at the most prominent part of their physiology: their rotund, protruding stomachs.
Tanya was met with much more success. It seemed that whatever they had for bones didn't protect their abdomens any more than a human's rib cage, judging by the gore and viscera that followed her blade as it retreated from the thing's stomach.
It collapsed in a few moments, and Tanya almost sighed at yet another similarity to the video games this world seemed to take its marching orders from. Why wouldn't they carry shields to defend what seemed to be their most obvious weakness, or at least wear a bit of armor beyond a bit of leather?
"Haa~"
Tanya blinked and turned away from the dying Orc, only to find her eyes widening at the hideous sight before her.
It wasn't as bad as if they had killed the adventurers fighting next to her, or if they had managed to run towards the caravan, which looked to be ready to flee. It was, however, quite revolting.
It seemed that nearly every single one had decided that Tanya was a much better target for their attacks than anyone else. Their words told her all she really needed to know.
"To kill one of us… when most males would be paralyzed in fear or squeaking and pleading in fear…"
"The most dangerous prey…"
"Someone with which to produce dozens of children…"
She cast a look beyond them for a moment. A few were behind the crowd, holding off Viktoriya and a few other adventurers that weren't stupefied by the Orcs' behavior.
She nodded. It seemed that she was outnumbered, and – unless she wanted to reveal that she could fly – she would eventually be overwhelmed by the dozens of monsters that were, even now, moving to surround her.
She flung herself back and away from the crowd, narrowly avoiding a lunge from the monsters. They all cried out in anger, but Tanya was already standing between them and the other adventurers, trying to make it back to the caravan.
Tanya grabbed a pair of adventurers on the way, ignoring their cries of surprise. They weren't as fast as she was, and they needed to leave, now, before the Orcs managed to encircle her and force her to reveal her Flight spells to the rest of the caravan.
She rattled off an order for them to start using whatever ranged weapons they had, and turned back to the running horde. The Orcs had quickly outpaced the female adventurers, and Tanya launched a spell at them as she ran away from the wagons.
Unexpectedly, they all changed their trajectory, running at Tanya instead of the caravan.
Tanya shivered; if they were so convinced of the truth, then there might be other ways to tell that she was what she didn't seem to be. She'd need to take measures to hide the truth, or finally find a gender-swapping item.
She ran a good hundred meters away from the wagon, and watched as the Orcs chased after her. All of them were shouting about the things they wanted to do to her, but she paid them no mind, watching as Viktoriya ferried running adventurers to the caravan.
Just as the Orcs were about to reach her, Tanya activated her Flight spells, leaping over them. Some watched her, a few tried to jump up to her, but none of them touched her. She immediately began running towards the caravan, shouting for Mark, who was at the back.
"What the fuck are you waiting for? Go already!"
He nodded, and, one by one, the carts took off. Almost literally.
They sped away, and the Orcs, which had could have outpaced their horses if they weren't buffed, were left in the dust. Tanya sighed.
"I love magic."
With that, she went into the cart deciding to take a seat and rest for a while. That sure was tiring…
-OxOxO-
Apparently, she'd tired herself out a lot more than she thought. When she woke up, her side was beginning to really hurt again, and they were apparently preparing for the third night of their journey. At least, that's what Viktoriya had told her.
The Reinforcement spells that Tanya and Viktoriya had cast – as well as the merchants' willingness to push the horses – meant that they'd halved the journey. They would arrive in the capital in one more day instead of five. Tanya was pleasantly surprised by the fact, and she honestly couldn't wait until they got there.
Now, they were resting. The merchants had wanted to give her a bag of Eris for her efforts, and Tanya had shrugged and accepted the gift – she didn't really have a reason to shove their thanks back in their faces, and more money never hurt anyone.
They'd even given her the night off, and Tanya was taking the time to rest soundly in Mark's wagon. There wasn't a lot of room, but they managed to make it work by hanging hammocks from the walls.
As the sounds of amazement had faded – everyone was still entranced by the usage of Tanya's products – she snuggled into the thin blankets they'd packed, making a mental note to try and invent sleeping bags and backpacks.
Just as she was about to drift off, sounds of commotion drifted in from outside. Annoyed and bleary-eyed, she rose, grabbing her pistol and Type 97 out from underneath her pillow, slipping the latter around her head and strapping the former to her waist.
She came out to find a group of male adventurers being confronted by Viktoriya, who was standing in front of the beastman they had yet to learn the name of. Tanya couldn't see her face in the limited light of the dying campfire, but her stance told Tanya enough.
She rushed over. "Is something wrong?" she asked, one hand resting on her pistol and the other grabbing Viktoriya's wrist. The girl stiffened up for a moment, but she relaxed as the men in front of them all backed down.
Their leader rolled his eyes. "No. We were just having a conversation with the Monsume."
Tanya frowned as her eyebrows furrowed. This guy had an accent – he sounded like he was from some cheesy, half-baked American Western. Still, she managed to hear something that sounded… familiar. "'Monsume?'"
They group of four gave her a strange look, for a moment, before the lead one shook his head. "Right, you're a noble, so I guess you all probably have a different term for them. Us, uh… commoners call them 'Monsume,' which is short for 'Monsuta Musume.'"
Tanya stared for a moment, before she sighed tiredly, stared dejectedly at the ground, and tried not to pull her hair out.
They were calling her a monster girl in Japanese, and they didn't even know.
It was obviously something some Reincarnate had spread around, like how magic light sources resembled light bulbs in shape even though they didn't need to be shaped like that.
Tanya and Viktoriya had found that out when they had disassembled one of the odd light sources when they were trying to think of things Tanya could reinvent to sell at Wiz's shop. They actually used Mithril to-
Tanya flinched at remembering what they did and promptly pushed that information down. She looked back up at them, quickly losing hope that this wouldn't end in some sort of confrontation.
"Look, while I'd like to assume that you're calling her that endearingly, I'm guessing you probably aren't," she said, phrasing it as a half question.
They blinked at her in unison, and then laughed uproariously. Tanya turned to Viktoriya, saw the girl behind her looking down at the ground, and motioned towards the beastman behind them.
Viktoriya took a look at her, nodded, and walked towards the girl, giving Tanya determined nod as she walked off. Tanya turned back to the group, who seemed to finally be calming down.
Their leader continued to speak. "Miss noble-"
"Actually, I'm not a noble. I didn't think that you were as stupid as the Orcs to believe such a poor lie, but I guess there are many kinds of people in the world."
He raised an eyebrow at her before he rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Anyway-"
She didn't let him speak. "By the way, what kind of conversation were you having with her?"
He seemed confused for a moment, and then grinned back at his lackeys. They grinned lecherously back at him, and Tanya felt her mild annoyance with the group grow into anger.
"We just wanted to ask if she had any… itches to scratch. She's part rabbit, so I thought we'd ask her nicely if she'd needed any help."
Moving slowly, Tanya positioned her left hip away from them, casting a look at the retreating forms of Viktoriya and the girl while also hiding the movement of her hand readying her gun. "I take it you'd have asked her not-so-nicely if she refused."
He didn't even attempt to deny it, and as the rest of his group broke out into laughter, he grinned at her. "Say, you're pretty bright. How about you take a bit of cash and trot off back to sleep. I'm sure you need all the beauty sleep you can get, with how flat you are."
The rest of his group broke out into a chorus of laughter, but Tanya just smiled at them, fighting down revulsion at the memories they were bringing forth.
"The last rapist who ran into me deeply regretted every moment of his reckoning. Pray to whatever god you believe in that you all experience nothing like he did."
All of them seemed rather confused by her remark, but Tanya just smiled at them. The leader stepped forward again. "Hey, it's not like she's worth anything. Just a run of the mill rabbit Monsume. Besides, the lot of them are obviously heretics if they were so unlucky to get fused with an animal. Just-"
"Sleep."
With a rather loud crash, the four of them hit the ground, softly snoring.
Tanya drew her pistol, and aimed at them.
Her finger was resting on the trigger.
It would be so effortless to end people who thought that rape was justifiable by any means, logical or emotional. She had no trouble killing men and women without any predilections who were soldiers.
They were far, far below the usual people she killed.
She bit her lip hard enough to draw blood. She shouldn't go around killing people; there was no way she'd be able to claim to be a noble if there was a serious investigation into her history. The Mithril Foundation, Wiz, the Succubi, and, most importantly, Tanya and Viktoriya would be likely to suffer for the misunderstanding.
Still, her gun didn't stray from the pile of plain looking adventurers. It was so tempting…
Hand shaking and sweat glistening in the dying light of the campfire as it ran down her face, Tanya felt more stress aiming at them than she had confronting the four of them.
Memories of round glasses, a square, hungry face, and communist propaganda drifted passed glassy eyes, and Tanya felt herself leaning forward a bit, anticipating their end.
Achingly, with teeth clenched as tightly as she could press them together, she lowered the pistol.
If the merchants found four of them dead in the middle of the camp, Tanya might get away with it. No one knew what guns even were, let alone how to identify what kind had killed them.
But they were sleeping all around the dying campfire, and if they were the only ones to die, everyone in the surrounding caravans would be confused as to how the people in the safest part of their encampment were the only ones to die.
Making them disappear – like finding a frog to feed them to – would also be suspicious. Everyone would wonder why it was just those four.
As she turned around, she resisted the urge to kick them in the balls or steal their equipment, regardless of how much she wanted to.
If they thought that this encounter was anything more than a dream, then they might try and bring it up with the merchants. She'd already accepted the merchants' money, and Tanya really didn't feel like confronting systemic racism and rapists head on, not with her memories kicking about in her head.
Tanya stomped off towards their wagon, intent on gearing up and going for a calming flight. Then, she remembered that the four of them were supposed to be on guard, smirked, and moved them to the observer posts by dragging them along the ground.
Tanya grinned maliciously as she marched towards the wagon. With any luck, the four of them would be caught sleeping by the next shift and get fined. Maybe even imprisoned!
Tanya was feeling a bit better about the whole ordeal, but when she got inside, she groaned. Viktoriya and the beastman were arguing under their breath, shooting worried glances and furious glares outside, respectively.
She jumped on the thing, leaped towards them, and activated Lurk with a whisper. Both looked at her in surprise, but Tanya decided that she'd berate them to release a bit of stress.
The 203rd wasn't around, so they'd have to do.
"What are you two doing? He's right there!" she loudly whispered as she pointed to the front of the wagon where Mark was sleeping.
The beastman scoffed. "Oh please. We argued yesterday, and he didn't make a peep."
Tanya leveled an inquiring look at Viktoriya who chuckled nervously. "She wanted to wake you up, I thought that it would be better to let you sleep."
Tanya shook her head, and then took a deep breath. Slightly calmer, she tried her best to send a soft, inquiring look at the beastman. It felt sort of unnatural to not be wearing some sort of victorious smirk or judging frown, but she wanted an honest answer.
"Did they touch you?"
The woman, oddly enough, sneered at Tanya. "No. And I could have handled it."
Tanya rolled her eyes. "It's one on four. You probably couldn't have. Besides, they'd have woken up in the morning and made the merchants kick you out. You'd have to travel back to Axel on foot."
She tried her level best to retort, but Tanya's eyes quieted her. Tanya took another breath, and stood, offering a hand to the woman.
"Come on. We're getting into the capital tomorrow, so we'll need rest."
Her demure expression faded quickly, and she leveled a glare at Tanya's hand. "I don't need any help, especially not from the likes of you."
She rose, about to climb in her hammock, and Tanya took another breath.
Tanya couldn't just order her to be nice to them – she wasn't in the Empire. She climbed into her own hammock, deciding that she'd try her best to talk to the woman tomorrow.
She must have been pretty lonely by herself, and Tanya was in the market for a team member, with the loss of Darkness.
-OxOxO-
The beastman woke up to the sound of… nothing. No one was shouting, she couldn't hear anyone trying to board the cart, and she couldn't say that the far-off conversation sounded particularly murderous.
She frowned, wondering if they wanted to do something about her themselves, and she rose anyway, deciding that she should probably run for it and try to make her way back to Axel before they could get her.
Just as she'd managed to grab her bag, however, she was stopped. Both of them – she didn't need to be introduced to them; they were famous in Axel – were discussing something in that language of theirs.
She rose, trying to ignore them, but Degurechaff stepping in front of her, looking much more cordial and… cute than she ever had seen her. "Good morning! Would you care to eat breakfast with us? I noticed that you normally eat alone."
She looked down at the squirt – because she really was short and couldn't possibly be sixteen – debating with herself. She nodded slowly, and set down her bag. She could leave after a bit of food.
Tanya smirked as she watched the beastman leave the wagon, giving Viktoriya a knowing look. The former adjutant just rolled her eyes back, grinning mischievously.
Tanya had used that line on a number of officers and other introverted personnel, and whenever she did, she always got what she wanted.
It amazed Viktoriya just how manipulative Tanya could be when she wanted to be.
She stared at Tanya's back as she left. Whenever she did stuff like this, Viktoriya also felt very-
She cut off that thought with a shake of her blushing face and a step off of the wagon. They followed the beastman to the large, central fire where most of the provisions were. As they did, they watched her interactions.
Most treated her brusquely; they handed her some rations quickly, gave her what food she asked for quickly, and passed her over for the next adventurer in line as fast as possible.
A few weren't even that polite. The man who handed her some utensils deliberately grabbed a pair from the pile of dirty, already used pile that he'd been handed already, and one particularly snide looking Merchant asked her for money for the food, despite the fact that the contract that all of them signed stated that the food would be free for them.
She took the abuse with a blank, small frown and nothing more.
Both Viktoriya and Tanya followed her footsteps, receiving better or, on Tanya's part, nearly reverent service that Tanya wouldn't have expected from even the most fanboyish child in the Empire.
They found her and sat down. Before she could dig into her meal, which looked noticeably smaller than Tanya's portion, Viktoriya snatched up the utensils.
Before either could ask her what she was doing, she sat down next to the beastman, stuck a hand in her bag, dragged out a pot, and placed both inside.
"Freeze!" she shouted. Both watched a thin layer of ice formed over them and inside the pot. She pulled out a lighter with the emblem of the Empire Tanya had given her and heated the bowl.
The ice melted quickly, and Viktoriya used the water to wash them off. She wiped them off on her sleeve, and handed them to the beastman.
She had watched the whole process stupefied, and was only shocked out of her stupor by the closeness of the utensils to her face. She took them slowly, and Viktoriya shot her a warm grin.
Tanya sat down next to Viktoriya, mentally thanking her for her overwhelming generosity, and dug into her meal.
The beastman did the same, and Tanya reflexively sighed at her private usage of the moniker, almost spraying soup everywhere.
Hastily, she finished what was in her mouth, and turned to the beastman. "By the way, what's your name? It's kind of weird to just refer to you as 'the beastman' in my head." She looked up from her meal, an eyebrow raised and an ear…
Twitch.
Tanya's eyes shot towards the ear for a moment, and then an idea came to her as the beastman had some internal debate.
Tanya had been shocked to learn that her hair twitched in time with her emotions for some reason that was probably related to Being X.
It had been quite the fucking shock to learn that fact from Viktoriya one cold night on the Russy Front, and the looks she'd sent the rest of the 203rd when they admitted to knowing about it might have killed someone.
It was either that or the cold, and most of the others agreed it was her.
Tanya wasn't sure if they were joking half the time.
As it was, she hadn't been able to find a reason for the stupid ahoge, medical or magical.
Regardless, Tanya would ask her if she knew her ears twitched, just like her hair did.
If she did know, then she could apologize and state that she didn't really know much about beastmen, considering there weren't any in the Empire. If she didn't, then she'd probably thank Tanya.
"You know your ear just twitched right?"
Her eyes widened, and then shot towards the top of her head, tone panicked. "They did? I thought they did that, but no one ever told me. I assumed-"
Tanya grinned as the girl's panicked expression faded into a vaguely annoyed one. Viktoriya was smiling widely, and the girl sighed
"My name is Lorelei."
Tanya nodded. "I am-"
She cut her off. "You don't need to introduce yourself. Everyone in Axel knows your name."
She rose and cleared her throat, and Tanya had to crane her neck upwards to see the face that topped the towering body.
"Tanya von Degurechaff! Tranquility Destroyer, Banisher of Amalgamations, and another powerful noble! You couldn't go five feet in Axel without running into an adventurer who knew your name and had seen you or lost to you in an arm wrestling match, and even the peasantry spoke of your bright disposition towards them," she said, gesturing with her spoon and putting on airs.
She ended the tirade with a glare that contained none of the malice it had last night. Or, it didn't contain nearly as much. "Just another noble in my eyes."
Tanya took a moment to digest that. She turned to Viktoriya, who opened her mouth. Lorelei spoke before she could. "Viktoriya Ivanovna Serebryakov. I know already."
"Disregarding the obvious inflation of my renown," Tanya said, "I'm not actually a noble."
The girl jerked up from her soup again, shooting her a disbelieving look. Tanya nodded her head. "I am one by technicality, but it isn't what you think. Where I come from, blonde hair and blue eyes aren't particularly rare, and people could become very low-ranked nobles by being very skilled."
The girl scoffed, and Viktoriya nodded her head. "It's true! She beat out many men far older than she was and obtained the status of being among the top twelve gradua- erm… military scholars of the year!"
She still seemed rather distrustful, but something that might have resembled a conversation – if you ignored the long pauses – emerged, and both Tanya and Viktoriya left feeling rather happy about the inroads they'd built.
-OxOxO-
A/N 1: And there we have it! The third permanent member of the team is found!
If anyone doesn't like my OCs, for whatever reason, then she is technically found in the background of the KonoSuba anime. She has no lines and we know nothing about her, but since she technically exists, then you can think of this as an AU instead of me inventing an entirely new character.
Whichever offends you less.
Speaking of being offended: systemic racism! As Eris's cohorts showed, not every Reincarnate is as lazy and… uncaring as Kazuma is.
Now, while some of them undoubtedly had a hand in this, a lot of it will also come from the Eris Cult, who prize Luck and fortune above all. Being fused with animals is mentioned… a few times in the Light Novels as being a sign of someone being very unlucky, so I'm taking the idea and running with it.
A/N 2: The Orcs. While the movie shows them as being colored more like actual pigs, I'm basing them off of the description in the LN.
A/N 3: Replies to reviews:
DNWorks: Darkness mostly wants to figure out what she was thinking, mostly. She gave Tanya a chance, after all, and while 'consorting with the Demon King' and 'trying to murder someone' aren't exactly equal, Darkness might be persuaded to forigve her if, say, her Goddess spoke up for the Thief.
Pyromania101: You know what? I'll give it to you. I suppose that the only thing that might be seen as 'making light' of his near-rape is Yunyun being more concerned about his snot on her robes than with him. I guess that's what I get for watching a review before watching the movie and letting it color my opinions. Anyway, what do you think of the rest of the story?
vanhellsing9000: In the far future – more than 15 chapters – Darkness will reappear alongside some familiar faces.
Father Chaos: Tanya doesn't know how much power the nobles have. Obviously, they have a lot of power and influence, if people will allow her to do things she couldn't get away with normally if they think she's a noble, but she doesn't know exactly how much that is.
Plus, she did only insult a single noble for a slight against her, not all of them. The other nobles might want to use Tanya against Aurip and Alderp if he ever brought her up.
Naruto de Libra: Thank you for the ideas and for making it clear that this is my story. Some people don't seem to get that.
Now, while I do think your ideas are interesting, some of the members and practices of the Axis Cult – Cecily and Zesta as far as members go and the 'free love, even MINORS, but not undead or Demons' – will push her far, far away from ever considering them.
Your last idea is one I'm still debating, though.
Byakugan789: Thank you for the references and the information, and you're right about the production line being much more important. You don't have to train your employees in a master-apprentice kind of relationship, and you don't even have to take a job to do it!
Remember, while Wiz might have been able to demonstrate Teleport to her, Tanya would have to spend time learning about advanced spells in order to use it, at least according to Megumin's spinoff and how it explains Advanced magic.