Third Time's the Charm

by SugarcaneSoldier

Dying again was much more painful the second time for Tanya von Degurechaff, but what came after was intriguing, to say the least, and she was nothing if not opportunistic. Taking the opportunity presented by Aqua would expand her opportunities by much more than she could have dreamed possible… but why did the good have to come with so much insanity!

32. Production and Espionage

Click.

Consciousness returned slowly to Tanya. As she muddled through her thoughts and the oddly plush surface she was leaning against, she wondered why that was.

Woosh.

She sighed deeply as her memories of her last… week? Was that how long it had been?

Hehehehe…

She shook her head a bit. Yeah, her last week. They'd been absolutely flooded with work, and Tanya had declared they wouldn't fail. Iris was the Princess, after all.

Click.

Her eyebrows furrowed together, even as her eyes were closed, but her face relaxed as she realized why they had been so overworked.

Woosh

This town's laws were a muddled mess of loopholes and asterisks, most of which were hardly enforced anyway, as long as you had enough money. She let out a little sigh.

Hehehehe…

They'd spent so much time and effort doing that so if Iris turned up out of the blue – and Tanya knew that with how much power member of the royalty had in these times, it was a distinct possibility that she'd simply drop everything to hang out – to ensure that her retainers wouldn't have a reason to try and execute them.

Click.

Tanya held no illusions that both of them disliked Tanya, at least a little. She'd introduced Iris to 'dangerous' ideas, like not being racist towards beastmen and thinking of politics like the ruthless, cutthroat game that it was, but neither had argued with Iris when she'd declared Tanya the new holder of all of Alderp's lands.

Woosh.

Tanya tried to move an arm to rub her eyes, but it didn't move. She was thrust into wakefulness by adrenaline, and her train of thought jumped from Iris to what had happened right after Darkness had come in.

Hehehehe…

She'd tricked them into deactivating their Pain-Reduction Reinforcement spells – the dosage of which they'd steadily increased so that they could stay up longer – and then…

Click.

They'd collapsed. Lorelei and the others probably wouldn't let them get captured or something, so she was probably…

She blinked as she finally remembered. Right, they'd fallen asleep while standing. She was probably just tangled up in some sheets that Lorelei had thoughtfully gotten them.

Distinctly annoyed, she pushed against the plush chair she'd been set in and-

"Ah!"

Tanya froze, and her eyes burst open as the last of her tiredness was blasted away. Not a chair. Not a chair. Not a chair.

Woosh.

She looked around to find that she hadn't been taken to a different room. She wasn't in the room she'd claimed as hers, and she wasn't in the room Viktoriya had claimed, or even in the master bedroom, where the entrance to Alderp's secret dungeon was located.

Instead, they were still in the room they'd commandeered for work. She was sharing a chair with Viktoriya – which was obvious from the sound of that voice that had cried out – and…

Hehehehe…

She fought back the urge to yell out in anger as she realized what was pointed at them.

Twitch.

She scowled. She'd felt that stupid strand of hair move again, and-

Click.

The cause of the clicking was readily apparent. There was an old-timey camera on a tripod pointed directly at them, and it would take an occasional picture. Said picture would slowly come out of the camera, developing in a scant few seconds, and then…

She watched as the latest picture was blown away by what looked like a regular old desk fan. It flipped through the air several times, before it was blown across the stone-that-was-probably-marble through an open door. Tanya could hear faint giggling coming from around the corner.

The dial on the front of the camera reached its zenith, and Tanya hurriedly closed her eyes, hoping that Lorelei wouldn't notice the change in her position.

The continued giggling – and not hurried fleeing from Tanya's anger – from out in the hall told her she hadn't. Tanya began to think about how in the hell she'd figure this one out.

Her arms were laced between Viktoriya's, and her back was resting against her side. Her head was…

Her face colored. Her head was probably resting against Viktoriya's lovely large tit-

She shook her head slightly. No! There was no way anything like that was working out, and the heat she felt rising in her cheeks, while a normal reaction, didn't justify anything.

She took a deep breath. All she needed to do was convince Viktoriya to let go of her. Without waking her and making this incredibly awkward.

Tanya's eyebrows almost furrowed. How the hell was she supposed to do that?

Grimacing, Tanya leaned up, adjusting her position so that she was closer to Viktoriya's head. That had the unfortunate side effect of pushing her back into the woman's boobs.

Tanya's face colored as Viktoriya let out a small moan, and she began to repeat the phrase 'this is a mistake, not sexual harassment, we're both adults technically' over and over in her head.

Finally, she had worked herself up high enough to position her mouth next to Viktoriya's ear. Her expression seemed happy – hopefully, she was having pleasant dreams and not one that morphed into being murdered or attacked or raped-

She shook her head and leaned towards her. "At ease, soldier."

She said this in a professional manner. She was hoping that the familiar phrase with all its usual inflections – a slight growl at the end, but otherwise indistinguishable from her usual tone of voice – would make her relax and release her.

After which, Tanya could go beat Lorelei for daring to-

"Oh Yes, Major-General Degurechaff."

Tanya's face, which could have previously been charitably compared to a stop sign thanks to their position, now resembled a neon strobe light set to the reddest possible setting. She tried desperately not to suffocate on the air, which seemed unusually heavy.

Why the- why had she sounded so very, very… husky?

Brimming with libido?

Fuckey?

And why had she decided to call her by her official rank now, of all times?

Still, she relaxed, Tanya's arm was released, and Tanya jumped out of her chair. She quickly maneuvered around the displaced furniture, and set the dial of the camera – which probably controlled how often it took a picture – to the highest setting. Slowly – much more slowly than before – it began to turn again, and Tanya breathed a sigh of relief.

She looked back at Viktoriya, trying to digest what she had heard.

All of a sudden, the answer came to her, and she smiled knowingly as her misplaced blush faded. Her adjutant was obviously just having a good dream of some kind.

There had been little time to sleep on the front, and you were much more likely to have nightmares than you were good dreams.

One of the only times Tanya had had a good dream was when the scent of Viktoriya's coffee had manifested as rows upon rows of coffee-filled cups growing on vines underneath a sign marked 'coffee land.'

Tanya shook her head. That had been a weird dream.

She looked back at Viktoriya, who had curled up on the chair and whose expression had changed from pleasantly smiling to slightly frowning.

Tanya stared at her.

She smiled, shaking her head ruefully, this time. Viktoriya looked as lovely as she always did, even half-asleep.

Tanya was honestly just a bit upset that the woman wouldn't ever love her…

She shrugged. She'd just blame Being X for making her have a girl's body and not letting people who followed his idiotic cult marry who they wanted to. Maybe she'd sprinkle in a bit of vitriol about Europa's views towards homosexuals in general as well.

Not that she had researched the subject. But, really, what was there to research? Europe might have been more advanced than a lot of places, but it was the 1920s…

She continued staring at Viktoriya, the word 'lovely' circling through her mind as she stared at her. She tried to shake it, but it wouldn't leave.

Her eyebrows knitted together.

Lovely.

Lonely.

Alone.

Vulnerable.

Weak target.

Tanya nearly stumbled to the ground as she backed into one of the tables. What-

She's weak. You can kill her now, take her out before she tries to stab you in the back. You need no one but yourself and the father, venerable is his spirit and-

Tanya shook her head and tried not to throw herself to the ground. She ripped into her clothing, tearing off the Type 95.

Pray to god. Destroy his enemies and any who dare not to praise his holy name with your own fanaticism.

Tanya tried to take a deep breath, but she couldn't. Why-

She was choking on the air again, for a reason entirely different than a compromising position, and all she could do was stare at the deactivated Type 95.

It wasn't even on, and it was still talking, still urging her to… to…

She threw it across the room, a slight adjustment of her wrist ensuring it flew into a chair instead of a wall. What…

The voice quieted.

Give in.

The voice was not gone.

Click.

Tanya took a deep breath as the camera pushed out a picture of a partially empty chair. She'd deal with that later. She'd have an honest talk with Viktoriya, and she'd find a more powerful ring to block out Being X and… that.

First, however…

Woosh.

The latest picture twirled through the air, skidding across the polished flooring and out of the room. Tanya followed it out.

Tanya saw Lorelei's ears poking up above the armrest of a plush couch, bobbing up and down. Her hand dipped down to catch the photo and place it in a pile with other, similar photos, not even taking the time to look at it.

"This was so worth skipping the Cult's services today," she giggled again, and Tanya fought down the urge to do something rash – like pull at the beastman's ears really, really hard – as she continued on.

"With this much blackmail, she won't ever think about putting me through the training her 'battalion' went through. Maybe I'll even find out a bit more about the places they're from, too."

Her back pressed into the couch, she held up the most recent photo to the light. "I'll even be able to look at these myself, after helping-"

"I hope you weren't about to say 'helping yourself' to those pictures, because I think I might actually have to be charged with murder then." Lorelei's smug grin became fixed in place as Tanya's voice sounded directly behind the couch she was sitting on.

Lorelei bent her head backwards and made eye contact with an irate Tanya von Degurechaff.

She blurted out the first thing that came to mind and the whole reason she'd set up the elaborate system of taking pictures. "Uh… hey, I wanted to know if you've actually ever heard of what the Axis Cult does. It-"

Twitch.

Click.

"Reinforcement spell: Strength."

The boost she got was smaller than normal, but that was expected with the Type 97 out of commission and the Type 95 as far as it could be from her.

The Type 97 had failed her a few days into the paperwork marathon, after weeks without any maintenance. Still, she had been able to use a few Pain-Reduction Reinforcement spells which had obviously convinced her that she must have somehow thought using the Type 95 for paperwork was a good idea.

And now, she was hearing a voice, telling her to give in to Being X. Was this the result of her years of using it during the war, or was this world throwing something else new at her? Maybe Being X had worked some 'miracle' while she had swapped bodies.

Meanwhile, the small, hopefully placating grin that Lorelei had been wearing disappeared, and she tried to get off the couch. Tanya didn't give her the chance.

She flipped the couch, sending everything on it flying. Lorelei hit the ground running, and Tanya was right on her heels.

"If you ever so much as suggest that I'd ever willingly submit myself to the dogmatic teachings of a religion, I'll turn your appendages into a costume for the Succubi!"

-OxOxO-

Thankfully, at least one of them was looking chipper as they walked to the Adventurers Guild. Viktoriya didn't know why Tanya sent a glare towards Lorelei every few minutes or why the very tall woman would shrink away whenever it happened, but Tanya had declared they were going to the guild to ask about what specifically happened yesterday involving Darkness and that Greater Demon.

Tanya, once again, glared at Lorelei, whose ears, once again, hung low and flat against her head. With a huff, Tanya turned away.

She shook her head to try and remove the memory of what had caused her to lash out at the beastman – the words Viktoriya had spoken, and, more specifically, how they'd been said. She looked down at the bag by her side, hoping she'd grabbed everything.

The small leather bag – which was made of a similar material as the bandoliers that held where her and Viktoriya's extra ammunition would go if they had any – hung by her side. This bag contained much more benign things, relative to bullets, like legal documents as well as paperwork.

After she had chased the beastman around promising revenge, Lorelei had revealed the paperwork that had built up in the last few days.

Thankfully, it was a pile that was only six inches tall instead of three feet, now that Darkness and her father were handling everything coming in from the villages, hamlets, and other towns that were located in Alderp's old holdings. Unfortunately, the first report had been one from the guild asking for their help in the coming battle against that Greater Demon.

Tanya wanted to apologize to Luna and everyone else that she had… convinced into helping her, of course, but she also wanted to get a handle on the Demon's abilities and identify if he could be reasoned with, among other things.

Now that… someone in her position was supposed to be passing along information to the Demon King about a disturbance – the arrival of a Hero Candidate with more than two Divine Relics was possible, if worrying – that person might not really want to kill someone that was, in all likelihood, working for said Demon King.

The doors of the guild were pushed in quickly, and Tanya began to walk towards the first people she was going to apologize to.

Again, Aya had her back turned to her, and the other two spotted her first. Unlike last time, however, they didn't attempt to hide the fact that they'd seen her from Aya, and she spun around the moment she recognized the fear on their faces.

All of them stood, but Tanya had made sure to position herself between the door and them. Takashi rested a hand on his sword's hilt, and-

Tanya rolled her eyes. "Would you all stop that? I'm not going to abduct you or anything."

Shizuka spoke up. "N- No! We're not going anywhere with you! We nearly died yesterday because we were so tired."

Tanya blinked at the information, and then grinned wolfishly. "Wonderful! You can tell me about that Demon's capabilities, then. After that, I'll…"

She grimaced, and then she sighed tiredly. Even over twelve hours of sleep and a half hour of chasing Lorelei around their mansion hadn't completely banished her tiredness. "I'll give you all a bit of money as an apology. I didn't exactly tell you all that I'd be working you so hard."

Their hostility began to fade, and Tanya allowed her face to show a bit of mingled worry and fear. "Really, I don't know what came over me," she said, knowing that she did have at least some idea of what had happened. "My relics are very… difficult to handle."

She ended her last sentence by sending a look at Takashi. His eyebrows furrowed, for a moment, and then his eyes widened as he understood. The other two were staring at him suspiciously, but he sat back down.

Tanya grinned. The power that he had once had and that she had made him give up – Mindreading – had allowed him to scan her mind and gain an uncomfortable understanding of her and her abilities, but it had also allowed him to guarantee her in situations like this.

After reading her mind, he'd given up, informed her that he would die like the last Reincarnate that had accepted a special power instead of an item, renounced heaven's contract, and been Healed by Tanya enough to allow him to live, despite screaming his head off.

Both of them were alive, and she had gained someone that resembled an ally that knew exactly what she was capable of.

The other two stared at them, and then they sat down uneasily. Viktoriya slipped into the seat at Tanya's right, while Lorelei sat to her left.

Tanya aimed one last glare at the beastman, who flinched away, and then she turned to them. "Tell me everything you can about that Demon."

The next half hour was informative, even if Shizuka and, uncharacteristically, Aya spent more than half the time waxing on and on about the awesome battle between Mitsurugi and 'Hoost.'

The Demon was big, metallic, and very, very strong, both physically and magically. Only Mitsurugi had been able to do anything more than fight him evenly, and the thing claimed to have important business to attend to that it didn't want disturbed.

Tanya nodded. It made sense that the Demon King would send forces to inspect Axel, though she thought that he would be sending that Undead Mage, not some powerful Demon.

In the end, she was leaning towards leaving it be. She didn't really want to fight something that powerful, especially with the state of their equipment.

Tanya's Type 97 no longer worked, and she had shut the Type 95 in a box and shoved it to the bottom of the bag she now carried out of worry of hearing that voice. Viktoriya's Type 97 would probably fail any day now, and they didn't have even a handful of bullets to go around.

After she got her equipment back, however…

She shrugged to herself as Lorelei and the other Reincarnates discussed something inane. If the Demon continued to be a nuisance, then she would have to remove it, regardless of it's affiliation or not. She was the Governor now, and that meant that her job was to ensure the prosperity of the city for the benefit of the entire Kingdom, regardless of Alderp's example.

She stood quickly as she was reminded of why she'd brought her bag in the first place. "Thank you all for your time. I have other business to attend to."

She opened up her bag and brought out three pouches of money. She had needed to dip into her funds a little bit – made up of whatever money she had been able to scrounge up by selling the various extraneous artifacts in Alderp's mansion, a pile of use things that filled a room and from where that stupid camera had been saved from – but she'd come up with 50,000 Eris for each of them.

Lorelei looked between her and the other Reincarnates. "Uh, I think I'll stick around here for a bit. I've been wanting to get a bit of adventuring work in, and-"

Tanya waved off her excuse. "It's fine. I don't control your life, just be sure to be back at the mansion before dark. I don't want to have to search the city for you."

She nodded slowly, and then Tanya walked towards the counter. She paused.

"And, you know. Don't die."

Lorelei scoffed. "As if. We were near the capital, remember? The stuff around here is small fry," she responded, flipping her head back.

Tanya grinned. "Ah, it's just that, you do still owe me for making me wear that dress, and after this…"

She let Lorelei's imagination fill in the rest, which was nearly worth the exclamation the three other Reincarnates let out. "You got her to wear a DRESS!?"

She sighed and continued towards the counter. She had quite a few things she needed to take care of, the first of which was figuring out why there were so few adventurers in here.

She had seen many of them running all over Axel, jumping in and out of every store and screaming about needing a 'legendary' Archpriest to heal the 'famous adventurer with a magic sword.'

She could guess easily enough who the second person was, but if there was a new, powerful Archpriest in Axel, they might be the person heaven had sent down in that massive magical wave.

Luna, wearing her standard clothing, seemed frazzled, for lack of a better word. Even her smile seemed to be stretched thin, and…

Tanya blinked in surprise as she took a better look. Luna looked absolutely horrible, actually, which was weird, since she didn't have an entire section of the country to run. Could running the guild be that hard?

Tanya's thoughts flashed between the weird enemies and uncooperative adventurers who never did their work and never paid for the damage they caused and Dust, and she realized that it just might be.

Tanya nodded to herself as she walked forward. She'd try and keep this brief, then.

"Hello, Luna. How lovely to see you again," she said, hoping to keep things casual. Even if there weren't that many people here, she didn't really want to broadcast her identity, especially if people here thought she might be able to take on the Greater Demon.

Luna, who was staring down at a piece of paper mournfully and hadn't even noticed her approach, looked up suddenly. Her eyes widened, and her smile became… genuine, if strained.

"Tanya! How nice to see you again. So, you're the Governor, right? How lucky!"

Tanya blinked at the enthusiastic reaction, and then she smiled back, trying not to look like she was searching her face for signs of something being wrong.

That statement sounded very much like Luna was jealous, and if she was right…

"Yes, yes, it is quite nice, when I'm not having to work for a few days straight. Honestly, I kind of envy you a bit," she said.

It was a complete lie – she much preferred to at least have power if she was staying up past midnight working – but Luna's blonde hair and the… unexpectedly yellow eyes told her anything, she was probably related to a noble or something. She'd enjoy being told that Tanya thought they had anything in common.

Luna seemed to grow quiet at that. "Huh… I would have thought…"

She shook her head. "Never mind. What are you here for? I wouldn't suppose you'd like to help us out with our Greater Demon problem?" she asked, referencing the request for her personal aid and her authorization to bring in the guards.

Tanya shrugged noncommittally. "Maybe. I have a few things I want to discuss with you. The first is, of course, what the adventurers are doing outside of the guild running around and hollering about an Archpriest."

Luna blinked, but then she shook her head mournfully. "Mitsurugi – do you know him?"

Tanya nodded, and so did Viktoriya, who seemed oddly interested in the conversation all of a sudden. Before Tanya could give that anymore thought, Luna continued.

"Anyway, he was nearly killed by the Greater Demon. He managed to slice off a wing, but that was pretty much it. He shrugged off most other attacks with ease," she said, sighing at the end.

Tanya's questions about reinforcements were rebuked with the knowledge that the Demon King had been getting a huge amount of undead all of a sudden, and a contingent of well-known undead had gone missing.

Again, Tanya didn't ask her how she had gotten the information about the second report. She didn't know who had the courage to spy on a Demon King, but she greatly applauded them for doing something she wouldn't do if given any better options.

"And… they're trying to find this Archpriest?" she asked. Luna nodded tiredly, and Tanya opened her mouth to ask for her description.

Then, she realized what the easiest solution to this problem was. She fought the urge to facepalm. Luna was even more tired than she looked, if she hadn't thought of the most obvious solution.

Tanya nodded confidently. "Alright, then. Bring her out."

Luna blinked owlishly, and she seemed to have developed a nervous tick, if the way her body lurched in time with the twitch of her eye. "B- bring her out? As if I just have her in the back or something… ha…"

Tanya peered at her quizzically, and then turned to Viktoriya. "Serebryakov, what would you do if you needed to find someone in the city quickly?"

She tilted her head quizzically, crossing her arms and closing her eyes to think. "Well, there is the announcement system, but if she hasn't already used it to find her, then it must be malfunctioning. If I had just the resources of the guild…"

She went on for another five minutes, outlining how best to comb the city and deploying several layers of redundancy in case someone had accidentally missed her. Tanya was proud of the assessment – maybe she wouldn't try and translate that journal after all? – but she was having a lot more fun watching Luna's emotions play out across her face.

First, she was shocked to realize she could have just used the magic announcement system. Then, Viktoriya's continued assessment of how to comb the city drove her to anger, while Tanya's smug look of knowing ensured that she'd probably be having blood pressure problems for the rest of the week.

She didn't look tired, at least.

Luna decided, as Viktoriya finished her assessment and as Tanya raised an expectant eyebrow, that she wouldn't be warning the Governor about the Crimson Demon pair. If she was going to go out of her way to tease her, then she'd let her get drawn into a public and possibly embarrassing conflict with Megumin.

Even if she only experienced embarrassment through association instead of feeling legitimately insulted, it would make up for this.

As she reached over towards the mouthpiece, she sent a glare towards the other two receptionists. They seemed oddly stoic, and she glared at the obvious poker faces they wore. "Not a word."

They both looked downward as Viktoriya looked confusedly at Luna and Tanya shook her head. "It happens to the best of us, Luna."

She only just held her tongue – Tanya was an actual noble, Tanya was an actual noble, Tanya was an actual noble – and instead flicked on the device.

She felt a drain on her mana begin to build up through the mouthpiece she held in her hand, and made her tired, annoyed announcement quickly. "Would the Archpriest with high stats, all of their skills unlocked, water-blue hair, and Goddess-like beauty please report to the guild?"

The other adventurers in the guild all looked towards Luna with varying levels of confusion, skepticism, and annoyance, but Luna didn't seem to be feeling any better after that.

Tanya smiled widely, while Viktoriya seemed to have been thrown deep into thought. "Don't worry. I'll go and try my best to Heal Mitsurugi. Where is he?"

"He's at the central Eris Church," she replied, staring down at her with a very… hostile smile fixed in place.

Tanya winced at the look. "I meant that I wanted directions. Please."

She made sure to sound as genuinely apologetic as she could. Luna's patience seemed to be at an end.

Luna blinked owlishly at her, but she did eventually relent and give Tanya the directions. "I thought you would have already dropped by there, with what happened to Darkness…"

Tanya's eyes narrowed. "What happened to Darkness?" she asked, her voice filled with a mixture of malice and suspicion.

Luna held her hands up in front of her – bountiful – chest. "She took a sneak attack for Mitsurugi. She hasn't regained consciousness since that silver-haired Thief brought her in."

Tanya blinked, trying to hide her doubly potent shock. The sudden grip Viktoriya had on her arm was reassuring, if somewhat reminiscent of their morning together and that-

She shook her head to banish those memories. "Alright. I'll try my best, I suppose. I want a bit of advice about approaching the guards as well."

Tanya, after explaining her situation, was told that approaching the barracks that the guardsmen were deployed from Axel was a much better idea than going to Gerrard first. If she tried to take away the power of the guards by making them act under Gerrard's orders, they'd find a way to retaliate.

Tanya upgraded Luna from a hard working receptionist with a mean streak to a competent, hard working receptionist. Really, she hadn't even thought she'd get that much out of her, and she was pleasantly surprised.

"Good. Then, finally, I-"

"Ahem."

Tanya's eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. She turned around, missing the wary look that had taken over Luna's face, to stare at the person that had interrupted her.

Tanya couldn't help the look of confusion that overcame her face. What was standing in front of her was…

The most stereotypical, blatantly cosplay-ish image of a Mage she had ever seen. Complete with a tall, pointy hat, a black and gold cloak, and a ridiculous wooden staff with a floating gem, the girl's only break from the image of a typical Mage was the eye patch she wore and the fact that her skirt wasn't some floor length robe.

Tanya then noticed that she was staring at the mage in her red… eye and she realized that they were nearly the same height.

She turned back around to face Luna. "Buzz off, kid. I'm currently having a discussion. There are plenty of other receptionists, if you want to talk to them so much. Otherwise, wait your turn."

She turned back to Luna, and she was surprised to find that she looked… resigned about something. She wasn't even smiling!

Tanya tilted her head in confusion, trying to stare into her eyes. "Hey, are you alright?"

The person behind her couldn't help but ignore Tanya's words. "Hey, are you trying to pick fights with me, the top genius of the Crimson Demon Village? Not facing strong enemies sounds like a pretty stupid decision to me."

Tanya's concern for Luna dried up as the annoying brat behind her identified herself as Tanya's enemy. She spun around, glaring at the girl.

The red-eyed girl took a step back at the sight of Tanya's face, but before she could scoff at the lack of thought – she clearly didn't know what she was up against if she had backed away after a single glare – Tanya thought back to her words.

Again, Tanya began to scrutinize her and the shy-looking companion behind her.

Red eyes, check. Black hair, check.

"Hey, what's your name? And why do you need to talk to Luna specifically?"

This, apparently, spurred the girl into action. She brandished her staff in the air, bringing a hand to her eye and striking a pose. "I am Megumin! Wielder of the most destructive magic known to all and the best Archmage in Axel! I spoke to her because she looks the most interesting and most likely to give us important quests! You, copying-"

"Yeah, yeah, thanks for the introduction."

Tanya shot her down quickly after confirming that she did have a ridiculous name. The girl sent a murderous look at Tanya, but she'd seen more terrifying things in her reflection.

Even Viktoriya could be scarier than this midget.

Tanya began to fiddle with her bag, and stepped to the side so she could look at both Luna – whose wary expression hadn't faded in the slightest – and this 'Megumin.' The girl behind Megumin seemed to be embarrassed – hopefully it was due to the middle-schooler syndrome her friend seemed to possess and not some other, weirder reason.

"By the power invested in me by Princess Iris Stylish Sword Belzerg, as the Governor of Axel, I, Tanya von Degurechaff, issue a fine to 'the crazy Explosion Crimson Demon,'" she said, reading off the first part of the official document.

Said Crimson Demon, who had looked ready to try and cast her magic in the middle of the guild, stopped as Tanya's words sunk in. "W- What?"

Tanya rolled her eyes. "Don't play coy. You broke five laws regulating the usage of Advanced Magic, over a dozen on the particulars of landscaping, and thirty windows."

Megumin didn't hesitate. "Ju- Just typical! A noble using their position to-"

Tanya interrupted her. She was on a streak, and her upcoming training with Lorelei and the guards wasn't enough of an incentive to make her stop venting a bit of her anger. "You interrupted the lives of each and every resident of Axel. You made my job harder by forcing me to deal with the various guilds – the hunting, fishing, and merchant guilds highest among them – so they wouldn't leave the town and cause our already fragile economy collapse."

She seemed slightly less energetic. "B- But… if I don't use my Explosion magic once a day, I'll pass from this world and-"

"Then use it somewhere else," she all but shouted at her. "Do you have no regard for the lives of other people, or do you think that you're so high above them as the 'smartest Crimson Demon' that they just don't matter?"

The girl seemed uncomfortably aware that she was being scrutinized by everyone in the guild. That wasn't all that many people – it was Sunday, after all – but it was enough to make her stay quiet.

Tanya straightened her posture. "Now, you have exactly a week to pay one million Eris to the guild, or you get thrown in prison."

The Archmage's spirit was once again inflamed. "What!? A million! I don't-"

Tanya shrugged, handing the piece of paper in her hand to a somewhat-conflicted Luna. "Not my problem. The town is already having to pay several million to have those holes you made filled and the damages repaired. The guild is taking on most of the costs, and they've even called other branches for more money on your behalf."

Megumin's gaze fell on Luna, who looked very suddenly uncomfortable. Tanya continued on. "I'd suggest getting really cozy with the guild, or you might be hauled off to jail."

With that, she turned away, planning to sit down at one of the nearby tables and listen in on their conversation while having a large meal. Luna, however, flagged her down first.

"Did you come to me for the same reason as she did?" she asked her, a curious look on her face. Tanya was confused for only a moment.

Tanya had picked out Luna… for the reason – or, the two, chest-height reasons – that all the other male adventurers did.

She couldn't say that, obviously, and Tanya was beset by panic, for a moment. She came up with her go-to option in these sorts of situations.

Blame anyone else.

"Dust recommended you to me. I have no idea why."

With that, she turned away from what was likely to be a very irate Luna on the hunt for Dust. Viktoriya gave her a knowing look, and Tanya tried not to blush too much. She opened up a menu a nearby waitress placed down, and then she turned and looked directly, deliberately at the Crimson Demon.

She glared at Tanya, for a moment, before marching up to Luna with her nervous friend in tow.

She watched as the girl explained their plan about trying to find a Rookie Killer to placate that Greater Demon and getting ambushed by the brute before dropping Rex and his team off at the Eris Church before coming here.

As Tanya ordered her food – Two Giant Beef Burgers with extra frog legs – and Viktoriya sank deeper into thought after deciding on her order, Luna and the other two receptionists currently in the guild that didn't look half as nice as Luna all began to panic.

"What should we do now!?"

Then, after a moment of panic, they turned to her. The pair of Crimson Demons reporting to Luna also turned to her, and Tanya shook her head. "No thanks. I've got other things I want to do today, and fighting against someone that might kill me doesn't sound appealing. Just get that Archpriest to do it when she gets here."

Tanya might be able to kill whoever this 'Hoost' was, but she really didn't have any motivation to.

Dejectedly, they all turned away, but Tanya wasn't done. "Of course, I'll be stopping by the Eris Church to Heal the wounded there as best as I can. Maybe they'll help you."

That Megumin character's eye lit up, while Luna and the receptionists looked like they actually had a spot of hope.

First, however…

The waitress brought their food over, and Tanya and Viktoriya dug in with gusto, savoring the feeling of having food in their stomachs after nearly a week of subsisting on Viktoriya's Create Water spell.

If anyone dared to think they looked nauseating eating so quickly, they didn't voice their opinions.

-OxOxO-

In the back room of a small but profitable shop in Axel, a man, obscured by darkness, labored over his newest creation. It was almost done, and-

BANG!

The door was flung open, and the man squinted in the sudden deluge of light. He nearly dropped his latest creation, but he held fast to the tools he was using to hold it. He opened his mouth, about to question the intruder, but-

"Have you cleaned your windows once in all the time I was gone? Sheesh. And what's with the cart outside?"

Bill blinked at the familiar voice, and his eyes adjusted to the light. There, standing in the doorway and skeptically glancing at his windows, was Tanya von Degurechaff. He could see her friend standing just behind her.

He shrugged noncommittally as he put down the new sword he was working and walked into the shop area of his building. "I mean… I did a bit, but I've been working really hard."

He scratched at his scraggly beard idly, while Tanya gave him a look that she hoped conveyed how unamused she was.

His expression didn't change, and Tanya just sighed. She had other things to do, and she was burning daylight. "Whatever. I was wondering if you knew where to get a forge and other Blacksmithing tools. I'm planning on setting up something private for my own usage."

He smirked at her. "Oh, I happen to have everything you might need. Follow me," he said, walking into the back.

Tanya stared suspiciously at his back, but she did follow him. She looked around in the once-familiar room.

Although Tanya's bulkier items she had once kept there were now being watched by the Succubi, the room was still as full as ever. The tarp that she had used to cover her own things was now covering something else.

He turned around and smirked at her. "Didn't you wonder why I left to go to the capital?" he asked with a look in his eye that told her he knew she hadn't.

Tanya was trying to remember exactly when he'd left. "That was like… two months ago, right?"

He nodded happily. "Indeed. I guessed that an adventurer as… enterprising as you would want your own forge."

With that, he removed the tarp, revealing exactly what he had promised, mostly. The pile of bricks, wood, and bags of mortar certainly looked like it might be able to make a forge, and the box helpfully marked 'tools' probably contained a wide variety of tools that Bill had in his own shop.

As Tanya looked over what he had, she translated what he'd told her. He knew she'd want to be a bit more private, and he wanted to make a bit of money helping her out.

Tanya smiled widely. "Alright. How much are you asking for?"

He smirked. "500,000 Eris, please." At her raised – and highly skeptical – eyebrow, he continued to explain.

"Hey, if you're going to set up a rival business to mine, I want some compensation for all of the customers you're taking from me." Tanya just rolled her eyes at the man.

"If that were what I wanted to do, I'd just raise the taxes on Blacksmiths who aren't nobles so that I can have a monopoly and drive you out of business, something that is well within my rights as Governor," she countered. The smug look on his face fell just as fast as he realized what he was dealing with.

Of course, she probably wouldn't do that – she was supposed to do better than Alderp, on the off chance that Iris visited – but he didn't have any idea how this ridiculousness had happened, as evidenced by his next question.

"How the hell did you get rid of Alderp?" he nearly shouted at her. She shrugged noncommittally.

"I'll tell you later. Do you have another price?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

He folded quickly. "Alright, I'll sell it to you for 200,000 with the stipulation that you don't make any normal weapons," he sighed.

"I have no clue what-" she began to protest, but he just sent her an annoyed glare.

"You know, anything other than the weird staff that you have on your back, and the smaller weird wand by your waist. You can make all that stuff and weird metal tubes you want, just don't make, like… swords or armor for other people." He asked.

Tanya thought, for a moment, and then she agreed. She wouldn't be selling her 'weird staff' or 'weird wand' to anyone – not until she decided which side to be on, at least.

She might make a bit of armor – asking Bill about procuring some Adamantite would come after she got the forge installed – but she didn't really have any desire to make weapons…

Tanya blinked and then turned to look at Viktoriya, who was still deep in thought after Luna's announcement. What was so important about some Archpriest they didn't know?

Tanya stowed an idea about Viktoriya's birthday gift – and what day was that event, according to the proper calendar? – and smiled at Bill. She brought out a small slip of paper and began to write on it, finally offering it to him when she'd finished writing out the amount.

He scowled at it, but he took it all the same. Tanya had suggested paper money to Revi, and she'd been asked by Iris if she meant checks. Apparently, a few different Reincarnates had suggested the idea to her during their story time with her.

Elroad hadn't adopted them at the time, but they had been warming up to the idea. Tanya was just thankful she wouldn't have to carry around a bunch of unwieldy coins.

Tanya turned to leave. "Deliver it to Alderp's old mansion and install it in the west wing, would you?"

She heard him click his tongue. "That'll be another 50,000 Eris, and-"

She sent a glare over her shoulder. "What's that cart doing outside the building, by the way? Could it be that you heard that I was out and about and rented one specifically for this purpose?"

He colored a bit, and Tanya shook her head. "Honestly, why you feel the need to make everything more complicated is beyond me. The guards shouldn't give you too much trouble today, so play nice."

Just as she opened the door, she scowled. "If they ask for bribes, threaten to make them do my paperwork. That'll shut them up."

Tanya, looking back at the man, saw that Viktoriya hadn't yet moved. "Viktoriya?"

The woman blinked and snapped to attention, saluting a suit of armor leaning against one of the walls. "Ma'am! I'm-"

She then blinked in confusion, and turned to Tanya, who was merely raising an eyebrow. Blushing, she hurried after her. As she left, she gave a happy nod to Bill and closed the door.

She spun around and began to walk. The Eris Church was their next destination. She was going to try and Heal Darkness, Mitsurugi, and Rex and his team. She'd probably be tired out by it, but no one would be able to say she hadn't done anything.

She scowled. Of course, if she fixed them up, they'd probably want to charge off and fight that Greater Demon again. If word got out that she had helped bring an end to the Demon, the Demon King might hear of it.

Ragcraft, after all, was a spy able to assume anyone's form. There was no telling of how many of his kind might exist, or which humans had also joined his side.

"Uh, Tanya?" asked Viktoriya. Tanya immediately turned to her former adjutant. If Viktoriya had been distracted enough to almost forget to follow her out of the Blacksmith's, then she was really concerned about something.

"Yes, Viktoriya?"

She took a deep breath, and Tanya leaned forward. "Um… do you think that the Archpriest that Luna mentioned might have been… someone we know? Like… Aqua?"

Tanya stood there, her face unmoving as she digested what Viktoriya had just said.

Just as Viktoriya began to apologize – it was a stupid idea, just like all of her other ones – Tanya's face seemed to have been dunked in a pail of white paint, with how much blood was draining from it.

Tanya began to really, really think.

Luna had mentioned a beautiful Archpriest with water-blue hair that had just come to Axel who had all of their skills and high stats. The giant wave of energy that had reached even Elroad and, in all probability, the Demon King's castle, was strong enough to contain the energy of many Divine Relics.

Had they finally upped the ante? Were they sending down their 'gods' and 'goddesses' to do their own dirty work instead of hoping that teenagers with no combat experience could do it for them?

Was Being X coming down next?

Tanya took a deep breath. No matter how much she'd claimed in her head that she'd shoot the fuck – among other things – if he ever showed his face, she was under no illusions that he might not even be harmed by guns, for all she knew.

Tanya looked into Viktoriya's eyes and grabbed her hands, hoping to convey the seriousness of her orders. "Full alert. Get your Observation spells active. If you sense her near us, I want an Active Barrier up in a moment and a Flight Spell on the tip of your tongue. If you see her, get your rifle out and take aim. She knows what they are."

Viktoriya's face was an odd mixture of white and red – likely due to her repeating the orders she had always given the 203rd when they knew the Bloody Valkyrie was in the area and bringing up bad memories – but she nodded stiffly all the same, twisting her rifle so that it was now hanging from her shoulders instead of on her back.

Tanya's rifle, always hanging from her front due to her bulky mantle-hood combo, found its way into one of her hands, and her other hand twitched towards the bag she'd stored the Type 95 in.

As they continued to walk towards the Eris Church – now visible in the distance – Tanya slipped a hand into the bag and undid the latch on the side of it keeping it closed. If she had to, she'd use it, but…

Destroy the town. You'll kill the pretender.

She shook her head. She needed a way to contain it, something that could-

A substance that could drain the magic from something sounded a lot like Mith-

She stumbled and nearly hit the ground, and the comforting feeling of Viktoriya's Observation spells ended as she caught her.

"Colonel!"

Tanya was soon enveloped in Viktoriya's arms. She let herself rest there – for a moment too long – and straightened herself. "V- Visha…"

She took a deep breath as she stared at her, concern etched in the much deeper blue of her eyes. "In… addition to getting some Adamantite, I… I think we need to get some Mithril. To… contain the Type 95."

The moment she uttered the name of that vile, cursed metal, pity filled Viktoriya's eyes. Unlike the pitying gaze of so many of the General Staff, she felt she could actually let her feel bad for her.

She'd bled and fought with Vikt… with Visha. She could be… vulnerable with her.

Tanya took another deep breath and turned towards the Church. They needed to finish this and then go back to their mansion. She wasn't getting anywhere near Hoost with someone that might be as strong as the Bloody Valkyrie around, especially since they might hate her as much as that crazy bitch had.

And the Bloody Valkyrie herself, if Luna's words about Darkness adventuring with a 'silver-haired' adventurer were anything to go by.

She threw up her hood, even if it was uncomfortable to have both the hood and her officer's cap on, she needed to hide her identity and have as much energy available as possible, and turned towards the Church.

She paused, and then she grinned widely. This was what the Demon King was looking for, and soon, he'd know exactly what had come.

Of course, she'd have to figure out some way to save Axel from certain destruction, because she didn't doubt that he'd launch some kind of attack on Axel in order to kill her if he found out about her that she was literally a 'goddess.'

That shouldn't be too hard, though. His letter, as well as Verdia's sparse comments about him, painted him as a rational person that could be reasoned with. Someone in her position might have to meet him in person, but she thought that things would turn out just fine.

-OxOxO-

When they did get into the Church, Tanya was thankful that no one realized who they were.

There weren't a huge number of people there – whatever services the Eris Cult performed on Sunday must have already ended – but plenty of adventurers were inside. Some were laying on small mattresses, while others were left with nothing but a thin sheet between them and the floor.

They seemed to be mostly fine. Cuts, scrapes and bruises were all that they had as wounds.

Around them, worried team members were standing vigil or talking quietly with the Priests nearby. Many seemed upset, and Tanya could easily guess why.

She grinned. she knew what she would do last before leaving.

Farther in, she could make out a number of individuals standing around one of three different areas. Tanya could easily guess who was where.

She wandered to the closest one, where only a few people were standing. Priests were hovering over the adventurers, debating about something. Tanya quietly walked towards them.

"We can't just take their money. We'll have to wait for one of them to wake up before we can haggle about how much this amount of damage will cost."

Tanya scowled and then turned to Viktoriya. "Could you lend me your Type 97? I want to use Heal on them."

Viktoriya turned to her, seemingly conflicted. "Shouldn't we be on the lookout for… Aqua?"

Tanya sighed. "Probably. However, she might not want to come in here. Being X apparently has to use believers in his faith to talk to me, or he has to ask for permission from other so-called deities. I don't think that shows a high level of cooperation or respect for each other."

Viktoriya seemed conflicted, for a moment, and then she nodded. "We really should have a backup staff from here, if they work like a mix of a scepter and a Computation Jewel."

Tanya nodded absently as Viktoriya worked to undo the Type 97 from her neck. "I don't think we could use our spells very well, but any defense would be better than nothing, although… maybe we could just use our rifles for this world's magic?"

She didn't take the Type 97 from Viktoriya, and instead aimed her rifle at the resting, bruised and heavily wounded adventurers. They had obviously had some work done to staunch whatever bleeding had been inflicted on them, but nothing else.

"Heal," she almost asked as she directed her mana to work with the mana in the first adventurer. It wasn't nearly as easy as when she had the Type 97, but...

Rex's wounds began to fade steadily, until he suddenly shot up. "HOOST! Yunyun, look-"

He was turned around, glancing all over and searching for a threat that wasn't there. Tanya stepped passed the Priests – who seemed irate for a reason that Tanya wouldn't possibly know the cause of – and leaned down, resting a hand on his shoulder.

She could sympathize with him. How many times had she woken up on the Eastern Front with images of Being X, the Type 95, and the entire battalion lying at the feet of the Bloody Valkyrie?

He looked to her, and his breathing calmed down. "D- Degurechaff? I thought you were the Governor now…"

She shrugged. "I finished up a lot of work," she claimed.

She had done that, yes, it was just that she'd roped nearly fifty people into doing it with her in an attempt to run all of Alderp's lands through sheer force of will alone.

He nodded slowly, and then turned to the Priests. "How much-"

Tanya cut him off. "Not an Eris. I cast Heal on you, and…"

She pointed her rifle at his two teammates. "Heal."

The Priests behind her made noises of protest, as did the four that were hovering over the other two, but she didn't care. She was focusing on the spell.

Rex shot to his feet and leaned down over his friends. "Terry? Sophie?"

Tanya smiled as they both woke up. That had been tiring, but she probably had a little bit left before she'd have to stop. She wanted to get to work in their forge, after all.

The Priests were glaring at her irately, and Tanya realized that she did care that they were protesting her actions. She was actually quite happy to be spiting an underling of Being X by interfering with their greedy followers.

Oh, she would usually approve of people using their skills to make their way in a free market economy, but Belzerg was Medieval when it came to its economy and trying to take too much money from regular people resulted in a frivolous waste, if the golden chandeliers and shiny, new-looking stained glass windows that were being put in were anything to go by.

They reunited happily, and Rex turned to her. "How can I ever repay you? I-"

Tanya shook her head. "I'm just doing what I can to help. I'm the Governor, after all."

He shook his head rapidly, and his friends seemed to be giving each other knowing looks behind his back. "No! Alderp was a ruthless tyrant! I was… well, I would have become an adventurer anyway, but I had to spend a lot of time defending my village from monsters because he was too cheap to send guards and knights!"

Tanya scoffed. "He's not exactly the best example of a person, is he?"

She bid the man farewell and turned to find that Viktoriya was hurriedly putting her Type 97 back on and shooting Rex some odd looks. Tanya raised an eyebrow as she began to walk towards the other group.

"Are you okay? We figured something else out; we can easily use this world's spells without our Computation Jewels."

Viktoriya sent one last glance towards the other three – Terry and Sophie seemed to be teasing Rex about something, if the way he was covering his face was anything to go by – before turning towards the next group.

"It was nothing."

Tanya felt her face twist slightly at the stiff answer, but she was soon distracted by the motion in front of her. Five of the six Priests that had been watching the other three rushed passed them to talk to those there, and Tanya rolled her eyes as a familiar face appeared.

"Degurechaff, I must say-"

"That's Governor Degurechaff, Ashley." She corrected the woman while giving her a once over.

Her robes seemed to have changed a bit, and Tanya wondered if she'd become an Archpriest or something. She mentally shrugged as she looked at the other people surrounding the person she couldn't see.

Soon, she spotted who she was looking for. Hegal, Darkness's butler, was watching whoever it was. It must have been Darkness, then, because Tanya knew Darkness wouldn't fall for a guy like Mitsurugi.

She ignored the Priests. "I object to this! Your aren't allowed to use spells in here if you aren't a Priest-"

Tanya spun around and glared at the girl coldly. "I am Governor of Axel. If that is not enough clout to get me to do what I want, then I will simply remove her from here and Heal her somewhere else."

She sneered. "She is an adherent of our faith and a Crusader. We have the right to hold her here and Heal her."

Tanya glared. "Then why haven't you? Are you really depraved enough that you wish to extract exorbitant prices from even those that believe in your drivel?"

The other Priests – and a number of other adventurers that were probably there to watch over her or pay respects – gasped, and Ashley glared at Tanya.

She licked her lips. "I would like nothing more than to help her, but we are not powerful enough. The damage is too widespread. Unless you're a deviant and worship Aqua, your faith won't be any more than ours, for what you just said."

Tanya felt a twinge of guilt and shame, mostly because she'd charged into this situation without knowing the details of the Eris faith. Maybe…

She shook her head. Ludicrous. She wouldn't grace them with the effort to do that. She'd read a report or two, and maybe ask Darkness some questions, but that would be the extent of her effort to learn about the religions of this world.

She brushed past Ashley and through the ring of adventurers. "Yeah, yeah. Just let me-"

The twinge of guilt became a pang as she looked down at Darkness. A huge, arcing slash broke the armor, underclothing, and skin of Darkness. Her expression was pained, even if it looked like she might be asleep. Four Priests seemed to be casting Heal on her, but it didn't look like she was faring any better.

She gasped and was suddenly awake. Immediately, she began to groan.

And not in pain.

Tanya's guilt evaporated.

The people here might have thought that it was in pain – because they were idiots that couldn't see the obvious dancing in front of their faces, unlike Tanya – but she knew the look and blush on her face very well.

"Sleep," muttered a nearby Mage. Darkness's eyes rolled into the back of her head, and the Priests began to cast Heal again.

They were keeping the blood in at best, but Tanya didn't doubt that she probably would get very sick if the wound was kept open for much longer.

She sighed and turned to a vaguely recognizable Priest. "Do you know where Wiz's shop is?"

He nodded slowly, and Tanya sighed. "Go to her and buy some bandages and… morphine from her. I'll… compensate the Eris Cult for the money."

Instead of even a hint of greed, he nodded thankfully, turned, and left. Tanya wandered out of the rough circle of people around Darkness and walked towards the third group.

Ashley was right behind her. "He was a bit luckier. His armor was able to stop the blood flow by forming inside the wound caused by one of the demon's blows, but…"

There were two large holes in Mitsurugi. One was positioned on his breastplate, piercing it at an angle and driving a shallow hole into him. She could even make out a cracked bone.

The other hole was farther up, in between his neck and his collarbone. It looked like the blow that had caused it had been stopped for approximately no seconds by the chainmail he was wearing underneath and the bodysuit underneath that.

Tanya grimaced at the damage, and she heard Viktroiya cry out.

Tanya spun towards her, an eyebrow raised. It was bad, yes, but they'd seen worse due to shrapnel and the diseases that perforated every front they fought on.

She blushed lightly and cleared her throat at the searching look. "I was… um… thinking of asking him on a date…"

Tanya blinked. "That's… good," she said, unsure of why she felt like she didn't really mean it. She shook her head and cracked a smile. "Honestly, I thought you'd end up a spinster or something if you didn't go for any of the men back in the 203rd."

She smiled softly at that, and Tanya realized she was feeling… yet more jealousy…

She shook her head with a sigh. Not only was that completely inappropriate – someone was only barely being kept alive right now – it wasn't happening. Viktoriya had grown up in a pre-modern society, where homosexuality was probably outlawed in a great many places, including the Empire.

Besides, if she was interested in Mitsurugi, that was that. Viktoriya was obviously attracted to men, and while Tanya was a man, she didn't currently have the… parts to match.

Would that change if Tanya did?

She blinked at the errant thought, and then she shook it away. Not the time.

She sighed and turned back towards Darkness as a crash in the front of the Church signaled the return of that Priest. Besides, Tanya was an unstable soldier who'd killed thousands and had a vengeful deity or two after her.

Those were some pretty huge obstacles to any kind of relationship. It seemed, once she got her dick back, it would probably be the bachelor life for her.

Not that that bothered her at all. She'd been one in her past life, enjoying a fling occasionally and nothing more.

She shook her head. Now really wasn't the time. She looked to the Priest again and gathered up the bandages and morphine.

The morphine… well, it wasn't actually morphine. She hadn't taken any really advanced chemistry back in college – and if she had, she would have probably remade penicillin in her second life and this one and become hilariously rich – but it helped with slowing down a person's heartbeat, which might in turn slow the blood loss enough for the Priest's Heals to actually fix her instead of keeping her on the brink of death.

The advent of this not-nearly-morphine began at the beginning of their week of work. Viktoriya had checked out a gambling den before they had really thrown themselves into it. Tanya, well aware that Viktoriya would win, had instead asked the people smoking pipes what was in them.

The man, after asking her a question he would regret every time he tried to piss for the next week thanks to a few choice blows to the kidneys, had managed to eek out that it was a mix of opium and herbs.

She had purchased some, used Smith, and managed to make a very crude form of a pain-relief/blood loss prevention pill.

That was enough for Tanya to decide to sell it. It would be helpful when people didn't have access to Priests, and if it did any long term damage, well…

That was what Heal was for, right?

Tanya forced a few of the crude tablets she'd been able to fashion out of some of the best paper in town down Darkness's throat, glaring at the unconscious body of her friend as she made a sound of sadness.

Why, even asleep, did she want to feel pain? Was her bed made of red-hot iron nails? Was her shower water actually sulfuric acid?

Tanya took her time to bandage up her wounds. She wasn't a medic or anything, but she'd thought learning a few basic, non-magic skills from the Medical Mages they had been in contact on the Eastern Front for all of a week before they were called away would be prudent.

The bleeding hadn't started again thanks to the Priests, and Tanya handed the rest of the bag to the Priest that had bought it all. "If you all need to take a break, those will help keep everything in place, at least for a little bit. I'd suggest taking them off and wrapping her back up every day, at most."

She turned to the Priest that had bought the supplies. "What's your name?"

He blinked in confusion, and then stammered out a reply. "Uh… it's Zachary. You gave me that bag of money? I've… um, thought a lot about it. A bunch of my… friends and I have been thinking about what you told us. We-"

Tanya nodded as she remembered giving a bag of money to the Priests to stave off their ire. His words made everyone else remember too, apparently, and Ashley grudgingly sighed.

"Zachary, that's enough. Don't bother the Governor with your ideas about the Eris Cult."

The man gave Tanya one last look before sighing. "Fine… if you won't listen to me Ashley…"

He turned away, hurrying out of the Church while muttering. Tanya watched him go, but Ashley cleared her throat.

"Now. You've said your piece and done what you can, now leave us be. I'm almost ready to cast another Heal spell."

Tanya nodded and turned to the exit. Now, they had to go back to the mansion. She wanted that forge installed soon so that she could get to work fixing her Computation Jewel and making more cartridges.

As she came up to the door, it was practically blown inwards. Tanya was able to stop in time, but they weren't, and-

UMPH!

Tanya was now standing still with her face pressed into the chest of someone. She hadn't caught sight of who they were, or what they were wearing, but she did know that their chest was only slightly smaller than Viktroiya's.

Tanya violently shook her head at that thought and backed away, an apology on her lips and her head cast downward. "Excuse me."

She didn't say anything else since they were the ones to bump into her and to try and get through the door so fast.

Tanya felt two hands grasp her shoulders, and her gaze snapped upwards to look at the person. What-

Oh. They had blonde hair and blue eyes. They must have been some noble, then, who-

"It's completely fine. In fact, if you'd like to spend more time with your big sister Cecily, I wouldn't mind coming to your house and laying in your bed for a few hours, smelling you and your sheets."

Tanya aborted her attempt to reassure the noble.

Huh?

"Wh-"

She interrupted her again and hugged Tanya to her body. "Oh, you look so cute! Little loli, would you please let me see you and Megumin together? I think that there would be nothing better than that."

Tanya felt her mind going blank. She couldn't activate her Type 97. She had to-

She had to leave to flee to get away from him before she was unclothed and attacked and she couldn't move she couldn't-

And then she could.

"Tanya! Talk to me Tanya!" It was familiar and warm and lovely and nice and better than her and it was Viktoriya.

Tanya collapsed to her knees and tried to take in her surroundings. Viktoriya had placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder and nothing else, for which Tanya was very thankful. Anything more might have ended horribly. The other people in the Church were staring at them with a mix of worry and thankfulness.

The person – Cecily – had been blown back out the door, presumably by Viktoriya. She wasn't wearing the stuffed up clothing of a noblewoman, but the habit of a nun. It was more blue than the predominantly white and purple-black clothing that the Eris Cultists wore.

Tanya took a deep breath and rose to her feet. Darkness was doing better now. Mitsurugi would survive.

This disgusting hag wouldn't.

Tanya efficiently strode through the doors, readying her rifle. Viktoriya was right behind her, and Tanya could see that the Type 97 around her neck was flickering on and off dangerously.

It wouldn't last much longer without maintenance… but it would last long enough.

She pointed her blade down at the woman that had dared touch her. "For attempted sexual assault, I, as the Governor of Axel, sentence you to-"

"Wait! Please, I just wanted to help the adventurers!"

Tanya was about to ignore her words and let her die and declare that she was stalking after her, but Darkness's wounded form passed behind her eyes.

She took a deep breath. No, she wasn't ruled by her anger. She was the master of her emotions, not the other way around.

Viktoriya, who had been surveying their surroundings, seemed to think that Tanya was insane for not killing her, but Tanya wouldn't let one of her few friends suffer any more than she had to. Even if the masochist did enjoy every second of it.

Tanya leaned down and grabbed one of the thing's wrists. She was forced into a sitting position, and Tanya began to speak slowly.

"You have exactly thirty seconds to convince me I shouldn't execute you like the criminal you are. If you so much as suggest that you want to comment about me or any other… lolis, I will take immense satisfaction in breaking this wrist."

Tanya grabbed the woman's face and pointed it away from the ground and towards her eyes. "Understood?"

She nodded slowly. "I- I wanted to help the adventurers. I was inspired by… a friend to help their wounded party."

Tanya nodded slowly. "Why would you be any better than the Eris Cultists? Or, shouldn't you already be there?"

She shook her head vigorously as a smile formed. Tanya twisted her wrist a bit to make sure she remembered exactly what was going on, and she cried out.

"I- I'm not some weak Eris Cultist who uses their faith to welch off of others! I'm an Axis Cultist, who follows the Goddess that allows anyone to join her cult, as long as their wishes don't involve loving the undead or Demons. I have way more faith than they do."

Tanya blinked slowly, trying to remember what Ashley's description of the Heal spell was. It worked based on the faith of the caster and their mana…

Tanya glared at her, and the woman blinked. "You know, you really are just the cutest little lo-"

SNAP!

Though she cried out and began to cry, Tanya merely noted that breaking her wrist wasn't even that hard, with her Reinforcement spells.

The girl quickly proved the worth of her own Heal by whispering it and watching as her wrist popped back into place. She… scowled at Tanya.

"Hey! I like any kind of play if it involves lolis, but that really hurt! Pay me back by-"

She saw red. She didn't even need to know what depravity she wanted to suggest. Tanya felt a snarl building up in her throat, and she jumped up, once more pointing it at the Priest with her rifle. She should just kill her kill the follower of a false god and-

CRACK!

She heard shocked gasps echo through the crowd and sighed. She had only just missed her by jerking her rifle to the left at the last moment. Cecily was grasping her ears tightly, and Tanya sighed.

She wasn't ruled by her emotions. She wasn't ruled by the thing inside of a box in her satchel.

She turned around. "Fine. You will be allowed to help them, but make no mistake, if you come within visible view of my mansion, the orphanage, or any other child, I will not hesitate to have you executed."

Shakily, the woman rose to her feet. Tanya again pointed her rifle at the woman. She flinched away. "Heal."

The bruise on her cheek that Tanya had only just noticed also faded, if only a small amount.

Tanya turned away. "Viktoriya."

Viktoriya felt conflicted. Suffering the existence of a pedophile was horrible, but if Tanya wanted her alive…

She also turned away. "Your Heal is very cold."

Tanya blinked and turned back towards Cecily. She was pouting and actually glaring at her. Tanya shrugged.

"And? You're fixed, right?"

She turned away again. That 'cold' was probably because she didn't give a flying fuck about any deity, Being X or otherwise.

She shrugged her shoulders as they left the scene and headed back towards the mansion. A conversation with Viktoriya would be coming, either tonight or tomorrow or… eventually, and Tanya would promise to talk later. For now, however, they were leaving.

It was well past midday, after all. Bill should have at least moved everything over there and started installing it. Tanya would help him finish the installation and then immediately move on to fixing their Computation Jewels.

Aqua might be in the town, Hoost was prowling about, and Evan was supposed to be arriving, if the Greater Demon wasn't here in his stead. There were more people than ever showing up and making trouble, and Tanya would be an idiot if she didn't prepare for the worst, even if she did hope that everything could be solved semi-peacefully.

-OxOxO-

Lorelei took a deep breath. It hadn't exactly been easy work, to get this far, but she had made it.

Like she had told Tanya, she went out and did a quick quest. She'd run into that weird silver-haired Thief that had been partied up with Tanya and the Crusader named Darkness. She had been running around with a Crimson Demon asking for aid in fighting that Greater Demon.

Lorelei had been ignored by both – a better reaction than many, honestly – and she'd gone on to quickly dispatch a number of Giant Toads.

They didn't want to eat metal, which meant that her sword and her armor, as sparse as it was compared to what Darkness had, acted as deterrents. Without being able to eat her – which was their main attack – her 'natural' speed and strength had been enough to avoid their attempts to squash her.

She could have probably taken something a bit more rewarding or difficult than just that, but she only wanted to take the quest so Tanya wouldn't think anything was suspicious.

Oh, Tanya had said she wasn't her mother, but she was more suspicious than a noble in a room filled with Thieves. She would check up with her on how the quest had gone or ask that receptionist about it.

Now, however, with them going to the central Eris Church, she could complete her actual task.

She strode towards the entrance, gulping uneasily. This…

Well, this was likely to be embarrassing, and…

She scowled. Did she really even want to do this? Couldn't she just ignore the signs and wait for them to say something to each other?

She thought about it for another moment, and then she shook her head. They were her friends, and friends were supposed to help each other out.

Viktoriya had helped Lorelei work through some of her feelings regarding her transformation, so it was only right that Lorelei would try and help her and Tanya work through their feelings.

Besides, the way that Viktoriya had moaned… something lurid in that language of theirs was more than enough to make her think that there might be – or should be – something going on between them.

She looked towards the building. Still…

She shook her head. No, she'd try and do this… subtly.

She nodded to herself. Yeah, if they were interested in each other, this was a surefire way to figure that out. If they weren't, then she didn't have to think about it any more.

After this she would begin to plan, but until then…

She walked forward and, when she came to the door, knocked on it. It took a minute, and she heard the people inside shouting "Please wait!" a whole lot, but the door did eventually open.

Lorelei looking down at the… Succubus that was only slightly taller than Tanya. She looked at where Tanya's head would have been, and then up, and up, and up.

Lorelei smiled down at her. If there was one thing that she did like about being transformed, it was watching people fail to find her head where they thought it would be.

Before the Succubus could open her mouth, Lorelei pushed past her. "I have something I want to talk about."

She blinked at her, but she did nod eventually. "Alright. I guess Tanya's busy?"

Lorelei made a very noncommittal hum in the back of her throat as she walked towards the room they had gone into last time. She soon reached it and found…

Well, it wasn't what it was last time. Instead of being clad in almost nothing, they had on much more sensible clothing, even if it all seemed a bit out of date.

Lorelei shook her head. She needed to focus. They were staring at her expectantly, and Lorelei gazed around the room.

She nodded as she found what she was looking for. She sat down in front of the table, only scowling for a brief second at how uncomfortable chairs that weren't her size were, and looked around at the Succubi.

"Alright. I'm here on my own account, not on Tanya's. I wanted to ask-"

A purple-haired Succubus jumped forward. "If we could give you lurid dreams?"

Lorelei colored immediately. "Wh- what? Wait, no, not that."

Unlike the typical stereotype of bunnies being good at multiplying, she didn't really feel all that much of a sexual drive. She had no idea if it was because something in her brain had been changed or if she was missing an organ or two, but she was thankful for it.

She shivered. Her life would have been ten times worse if she'd had an increased libido that just played into the stereotype.

She reached into her shirt and pulled out a few pictures, grinning at the gathered Succubi. It had been easier than she thought it would be to convince Tanya that she had given up all of her pictures.

Why would she need several hundred, anyway? No, she had quickly realized that Tanya had woken up when they didn't come out on time, and she had hurriedly stuffed a number of pictures into her bra.

It had been uncomfortable to have them there, but Tanya seemed to be very intent on respecting her barriers. Tanya had gathered up several hundred of them and asked Lorelei if she had any more.

She'd answered negatively and let her eyes flick towards the couch on purpose. Tanya had found the ones she'd stashed away in cushions and then burnt the couch while staring Lorelei in the eyes.

But Lorelei had won. She brandished the photos and laid them out, looking around her. "Do you think those two might be Axis Cultists?"

It took a moment for them to think about the question, but all of them did answer.

"No, there's no possible way."

"She would never submit herself to that kind of authority."

"Tanya the Evil bows to no one without plans to stab them in the back and use their corpse to advance her own position."

All of them answered negatively while shaking their heads vigorously. Lorelei felt her head tilt. "What…? But…"

Then she realized the miscommunication and facepalmed. "Wait, I mean… not religiously. Do you think they're… Axis Cultists?"

She waggled her eyebrows and again pointed towards the pictures. They actually studied them this time, and Lorelei glanced at them again.

Viktoriya had remained mostly stationary across the photos, leaning slightly to the right of the chair she was situated on. Her facial expression was the thing that shifted the most, changing from a cute pout to a contented smile to a…

Lorelei cleared her throat.

Well.

She was sure Viktoriya was having a very good dream.

Tanya, meanwhile, shifted her body quite often in the pictures. Her legs were thrown across the arm of the chair in one picture. In another, she was leaning against Viktoriya and the chair as if she was mimicking the taller woman.

She was desperately clutching her arm in one, and she looked… comfortable being held against the older woman's body in another.

Had Lorelei set them up in the chair? Yes, but they slept easily next to each other instead of shying away or trying to get more room and waking the other up.

The Succubi were also looking at the pictures, passing them around, and generally ogling and giggling.

Lorelei did not like the sound of Demons giggling, and she got a very foreboding feeling – maybe this wasn't a good idea and she should have just asked? – but the smallest Succubus jumped forward.

"This is definitely a thing!"

Another of them scoffed. "Oh, please. She'd be much better off with that Rex fellow who seems so obsessed with her."

Then they were shouting.

"No! She's unassailable! There's no way she'd ever love anyone!"

"Oh yes she would, and it should be Dust. She is an almost perfect match for the types of girls he has specifically requested against having. She must remind him of someone important!"

"You're all fools! She should love someone who is as cute as she is!"

"Uh… everyone?"

"WHAT!?" They all shouted at her, and Lorelei didn't feel like she was even half of her actual height with how menacing they seemed.

"Uh… is this some kind of… debate? I just wanted to know if you all could help me figure out if they like each other." She was honestly very confused about what the Hell was going on. She just wanted to figure out if they liked each other and were denying it or something.

Of course, their reluctance to admit any feelings for each other could also be due to Tanya's bad Luck. While there were some spells that functioned using the stat, merchants of all kinds and generally anyone trying to make a deal were affected by their Luck stat.

It also extended its influence into daily interactions and conversations. Things may not have developed that way simply because Tanya's Luck stat was too low.

She shook her head and looked at the Succubi surrounding her. They were all glaring at each other, and the smallest Succubus leaped up to whisper into her ears.

"Since Demons don't have any emotions or genitals, we often pair up interesting customers we think might produce the best emotions together and then feed on their emotions." The joy in her voice seemed a bit odd, and Lorelei turned to the floating girl.

"…Where do you stand?" she asked nervously. She thought that this would be easier than it had turned out to be.

The small Succubus shrugged. "Eh. I think that there are more… interesting couples to look after."

Lorelei decided, as she looked at the smirking face of the Succubus, that she wouldn't ever try and interfere with them.

She would also never get a boyfriend while she was in the same town as they were.

Lorelei shook her head and rose from her seat. She cleared her throat. "Ahem. Everyone, I don't really want to get involved in this scuffle, but I just wanted to know if you all would like to help me figure it out."

All of them, simultaneously, turned to her. Lorelei fought the urge to leap back and continued to speak. "Uhm… I just came here to ask you all if you could look at their dreams to figure it out?"

She was sent appraising looks, but they all eventually shook their heads. "Not… entirely. Our powers can technically be used to do such things, but if we give them those dreams, then it doesn't exactly prove much."

Lorelei conceded that they had a point there and thought for a second. What if…

She looked up and cast her eyes about the assembly of Succubi. "What if we wait? I'll tell you all when I think such a dream might occur naturally, perhaps after some kind of altercation with each other or… one of your other candidates, and then we'll know for sure."

They looked around and began to talk with each other. It didn't take them long to apparently be pleased with the idea. One of the taller Succubi walked towards her.

"Alright. We'll need access to her house, and we'll need you to tell us what item she has that blocks mental manipulation."

Lorelei blinked in confusion, and the Succubus sighed. "Last time she was here, we noticed that she's got some sort of item that blocks mental spells and attacks. We won't be able to look at her dreams if she's got that on."

Lorelei nodded and then bid them farewell. This room didn't have any windows, but the sun was just starting to dip down behind the walls of Axel.

Her run back would probably be enough to convince both of them that she had been doing her quest for a much longer time than she had. She was waved past the front and inner gates by the guards.

She would have expected that they would dislike her being held in such high regard by Tanya – they were the sons and daughters of nobles, no matter how far away they were from inheriting their parents' wealth – but that week of work had probably convinced them that getting close to Tanya would be far more trouble than it was worth.

She burst through the doors to find… no one. The servants that Tanya had pushed to do some of her work for her were nowhere to be seen, and Lorelei could only guess they were still recuperating. She sighed and began to focus on using her ears.

She could hear… sounds of banging and movement coming from the west wing, along with a small amount of muttering. She could also detect something that sounded like small pieces of metal being clicked together.

She nodded and headed towards the west wing. She just had to act casual and not think about her meeting with the Succubi. Both of them were scarily perceptive.

She burst into the room she couldn't hear the banging coming from anymore and slowly opened the door. She gasped as she looked at the room.

Before, when they'd been taken on a quick tour of the mansion by Alderp's former housekeeper Shelly, this room had been something of a ballroom. Alderp didn't like to host his own parties – he chose to force other nobles to use their own wealth to do that – but he did have this room for if any of the nobles showed up.

He also had another, technically bigger ballroom in the eastern wing of his mansion, but Tanya had muttered something about remodeling it to make room for a 'shooting range,' though why either would want something meant for Rangers was beyond her, unless it had to do with aiming their spells.

Instead of being decked out in gold and silver with ornate chandeliers made of crystal hanging from ceilings that had paintings depicting forgotten heroes on them, it had been changed.

The huge windows were all wide open to let out the smoke that was being emitted by what Lorelei assumed was a forge of some kind. There were a number of things surrounding it – buckets of water, tables with rocks on them, piles of leather, and a large number of tools – but the most eye catching was Tanya and Viktoriya.

The taller woman was watching the windows, her eyes and staff trained on them. She didn't look away for a second, and Lorelei wondered what she could be looking for. She hadn't seen anything.

Tanya, meanwhile, was bent over a table tinkering with something. As Lorelei began to walk over, trying not to gape at how much of the beautiful room had been torn down and roughly shoved into a corner, she took a closer look at Tanya.

She was still wearing her adventuring clothing, but…

"What are you doing?!" she shouted. Both of them looked up. Viktoriya was aiming her staff at her, but Lorelei paid the girl no mind as she stormed towards Tanya.

She gestured to her irately. "Your clothing is absolutely disgusting! Why didn't you change into something more appropriate, like a smock of some kind? Your mantle is covered in soot, your shirt is stained, and…"

She nearly felt a vein pop. "Your hair is a tangled mess! Tell me you didn't go out looking like this? I knew I should have tagged along. Do either of you have any idea what it means to look proper!?"

She was glaring at both of them, but neither of them seemed all that chastised. Mostly they just seemed mystified by something.

Lorelei crossed her arms angrily and began to tap a foot on the ground. "What, nothing to say? I swear, I'll spend the next hour combing your hair myself if that's what it takes!"

They both stared at her for a moment longer, and then they turned to each other, grinning. They turned to her with that grin, and before she could snap at them again, they-

"Why are you laughing? You're supposed to be the Governor! You can't just-"

But Tanya didn't mind the lecture on propriety. It had been a long, long time since anyone had… lectured her about anything. Everyone assumed that she had a reason for doing whatever she did, or that she knew better or more than them.

It was honestly kind of… nice to listen to her express her concern for her so openly. Even if it wasn't really necessary.

Tanya shook her head in amusement. "Lorelei!" she said, raising her voice only a little bit. The beastman stopped her rant, staring down at her.

Tanya was smiling. "You can do whatever. We'll even go shopping in the next few days. I just needed to get this done."

With that, she proudly held up the Type 97. She had finally managed to fix it. She passed it to Viktoriya and took up Viktoriya's Type 97, unscrewing it and working on changing out the worn pieces and cleaning those that could still be used.

Lorelei muttered about the decor being destroyed, and Tanya just rolled her eyes again. It wasn't like she completely destroyed all of it.

Yes, she'd had to tear off pieces of the ceiling in order to ensure that the artwork wasn't tarnished by the smoke billowing out of the forge, and she had melted down most of the unnecessary displays of wealth to help pay for the loans she had taken out to pay for everything else she'd done in the past few days.

She grimaced at that thought. This world didn't have very… organized banks, and most of the time, the 'banks' were merely the official ways that nobles could store the taxes they didn't steal. She'd probably fix that, as well, but for now…

She focused on her work. She needed to find out if that Archpriest was that self-proclaimed goddess Aqua, try and strike a deal with Hoost, deliver a letter to that Undead Mage that was supposed to arrive at Verdia's castle, and continue to run Axel.

She'd probably faced worse, right?

-OxOxO-

A/N 1: And there we are! It seems that the Type 95 is not working that well…

But who cares about that! Tanya is oblivious! They met Megumin! Lorelei's trying to get involved in their love life! Cecily…

Yeah, in case it wasn't glaringly obvious, I don't like that girl, because… well, she comes on a little strong, to say the least. Her obsession with Megumin and lolis is, you know, probably punishable by lots of jail time for petty and not-so-petty crimes. Compared to her, Kazuma might as well be Saint Peter.

Okay, I wouldn't go that far, but she's a true Axis Cultist, through and through. Anyway, I hope you guys liked it!

Expect an Omake or two soon, too. We've finally gotten to the good ones.

A/N 2: So. Plot Holes I'm fixing and things I wonder about.

I figured out the plothole about just calling Aqua using the announcement system, yes I did…

After I had already decided how things would go, so… she's having so much fun at her job that she doesn't hear it. Idk lol

You'd think I'd think these things through before revealing them and not changing a thing, but oh well!

Also,why do people outside of the Crimson Demon Village use NEET as an insult? If there isn't any education for poor people until Darkness institutes it in one of the later volumes, then why would that be a part of NEET? They probably got it from the Reincarnates, sure, but still.

A/N 3: On another note…

I've recently gotten back into Pokemon by looking at some old games I have and trying to get them to work on an old Gameboy Advance. Which got me thinking…

Are you all interested in that? Cause I can try~

Honestly, the interactions between Being X and Mr. Fence-goat Pokemon would be worth it alone, and the setup would be Being X smoking some dank Kush before deciding he didn't want to deal with her, only to immediately regret giving her the capability to enslave super-powered animals using Pokeballs.

Would you all want her to be a trainer, or a Pokemon? I know which would be more funny, but I'm also not sure I want to try for yet another story, and it will be undoubtedly humor-centered instead of the mix I'm trying for here.

Eh, who am I kidding. If one other person wants it, I'll give it a try, eventually.

A/N 4: Responses to reviews will be posted soon, I mean it this time, I swear.