A/N: Here's chapter 2. An emotional one, for sure. Finished it up while dealing with a headache – fair warning. Tried hard to be sure that I smoothed it out enough for publishing. Hope you enjoy!
After a lovely walk on a beautiful late spring afternoon, Nathan and Elizabeth arrived at her home. He could smell the banana bread before she'd even opened the front door. Well, maybe he only imagined he could smell it... "I think I smell banana bread." he offered.
Elizabeth turned, rolling her eyes. "I'm fairly certain that you could probably smell it from town." she smirked - pleased that he was so excited by it. By something so simple that she'd made with her own hands.
As they neared the kitchen, she turned "I'll put the kettle on, if you wouldn't mind slicing up the loaf." She tapped his forearm with the knife she held out, "No eating any just yet!"
Nathan laughed and held up his hands in surrender. "You can't blame me for being impatient." after a pause, he then said "I've been waiting a long time for it..."
Elizabeth gasped and turned, her cheeks warming...but he was already busy slicing the bread. She gazed at him, wondering if she'd only imagined what he'd meant by that. He had been waiting since last fall for the bread. Then, just as she turned back towards the kettle, she saw him (out of the corner of her eye) look up with a small grin. Her heart tripped all over itself. If she had a fan, and he couldn't see her, she'd be using it. Now. Nathan Grant seemed to be flirting!
xxxxxxxxx
Once Elizabeth and Nathan had enjoyed the banana bread, tea and talk about safe subjects, they cleared their dishes. Elizabeth stopped and blew out a breath. It was time to cut to the chase here. Time to get serious and transparent. She hadn't been very transparent for a long time, especially with Nathan.
She turned from the sink and nearly bumped right into him. It reminded her of the first Christmas that Nathan was in Hope Valley. He'd helped her hang the cardinal ornament near the top of the tree. She'd turned around before he was quite done and they'd had a moment, gazing into each other's eyes, but it was far too soon for her.
She looked into his crystal blue eyes right now, and as much as she wanted nothing more than to throw herself into his arms, she had to do the work first. She owed this to him, Allie, Little Jack and herself.
He smiled down at her, then reading the situation, stepped back. "Sorry, Lizbeth."
She shook her head. "No, I'm sorry!"
Nodding toward the sitting area, she said, "Why don't we go have a seat in there." She picked up two glasses of water and headed towards the settee. Once she'd set the glasses down, she walked over to her desk and pulled two handkerchiefs from a drawer. She knew that she'd need them.
Nathan settled in a chair across from her, watching her carefully. He was both nervous and expectant at the same time. Reaching into his pocket, he fingered his own handkerchief. He'd like to say that she might need it, but he wasn't too sure it would be dry enough. Leaning back, he tried to appear calm...and he was pretty certain that he was failing.
Elizabeth finally worked up the nerve to look at him. "I'm unsure of exactly where to start, but it feels like it needs to be with last fall because that's when the change in me really began." With a shaky hand, she took a sip of water.
"The cracks in my relationship with Lucas began to appear even before the whole water issue and the Governor's race. I was too entrenched at that point to even acknowledge them. I hate to say it now, but I think the election and him leaving needed to happen for both of us because we just weren't meant to be and neither of us was willing to address it."
"Truthfully, we rarely ever talked about anything important or troubling." Feeling shame, she looked down at her hands and took another deep breath.
"The pivotal moment last fall was the day that you were taken hostage, Nathan. What you may not know is that I had a full blown, hysterical meltdown right in front of Henry. Bawled my eyes out. Hyperventilated. I told him that I couldn't do this again. Not again.", she watched him lean forward and could tell that he hadn't known.
Nathan held his tongue because he could tell Elizabeth wasn't done with this part of her story, but his heart was hammering in his chest. He'd had no idea. None. He knew she'd been concerned, but this...
She swiped at a lone tear that had sneaked out of her eye and pushed on. "I didn't even realize then, couldn't name it then, but I know now. When I stood across the street and watched Allie throw herself into your arms? Well, it broke my heart because that's where I longed to be and I had forfeited that right."
"I slipped into the library after that until I could stop the tears. And, there, in front me, was the plaque you made me. 'Always do what you are afraid to do.' "
With a bitter laugh, she continued. "Even then, I couldn't do that. The next day, Henry called me out and suggested that I examine my feelings and what had happened. I shut him down in what had become my typical fashion. I did the same thing to you when you challenged me about what I wanted. I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for so much, Nathan. So much."
He ached with the need to comfort her, to move over and sit beside her - but he sensed that she wasn't quite ready for that. He also sensed that she had more to say before he responded, so he tried to convey his feelings through his eyes and body language.
"When you asked me what I really wanted and I shut you down, claiming that I wanted to go with Lucas on the campaign trail - I was lying. Lying to you and to myself. That had become second nature to me. I'd been lying to myself for so long that I didn't even know it. Until you saw me. You saw me and you challenged me to look within myself. To be honest and do the hard things that needed to be done. I know, you may not have said exactly that..."
He watched her try to pick up her water, sloshing some over the side, and he couldn't stand it any more. Moving over to the settee, he handed it to her - holding onto it until she'd taken a drink. Then he sat down next to her.
Nathan leaned back a bit, as to not crowd her, and she continued. She turned slightly towards him. "That very night, I couldn't sleep. Rosemary saw my light on and came to check on me. That's when I broke. The seemingly impenetrable wall that I'd built around my heart after Jack died, finally crumbled."
"I told Rosemary that I'd chosen Lucas because he was safe. My heart would be safe. I didn't want to get hurt again. I'd been trying to carry on, but my heart was not in it and it was growing louder and louder."
She sucked in a deep breath and grabbed his hands. "The day that I came to you and told you that I loved you, but wasn't in love with you and that I was only looking for Jack in you...that was a lie. It was a lie borne out of self preservation and fear of losing you like I'd lost Jack and shattering into a million pieces and not being able to recover from that another time."
"I'm sorry for that. I'm so ashamed that I did that to you. You were right when you said that you knew I felt the same way for you as you did for me. Nathan, my fear had little to do with your job. Anyone can get hurt and die. It was the depth of my feelings for you that had me terrified. I love you, Nathan. I'm in love with you."
She couldn't stop the tears, she let go of Nathan's hands and wiped her face. She noticed him reach into his pocket - but when she looked up, she realized the hanky wasn't for her - it was for him. She couldn't help herself when she reached up and wiped a tear from his cheek.
"I'm so sorry, Nathan. I pray that you can find it in your heart to forgive me." she whispered.
He placed his hand over hers, closing his eyes as he let her words wash over his heart. He'd never stopped loving her. Never would. She was the 'something in the way' that Faith had talked about. He couldn't acknowledge it then, but knew it as fact now.
He opened his eyes and they locked with Elizabeth's. Looking down, he grabbed her other hand. Making sure they had eye contact again, he said "I forgave you a long time ago, Lizbeth. Faith told me that we couldn't work out because there had always been 'something in the way'. It wasn't something, it was someone. It was you. I didn't realize it then, but I do now. I've never stopped loving you. I just had to put it away."
He saw the hope begin to flare in her eyes, as more tears spilled. They had three drenched handkerchiefs in their laps. He simply wiped her tears, resisting the urge to kiss them away. "Don't cry anymore, Lizbeth."
"Nathan, these are happy tears now. But I'm afraid I'm a bit of a mess." she laughed.
"Not so! To me you're always beautiful." he whispered.
They were so close, she could see the flecks of darker blue in his eyes. "You still love me?" she whispered.
"I do. I really do." he replied, his voice husky. He was not going to push her. It was time she took the lead. But, man, did he ever want to kiss her right now. He forced himself to keep looking into her eyes and not at her lips.
Laughing through her tears, simply because the happiness was overflowing, she asked "Will you have supper with me tonight, Nathan? At the cafe?"
He couldn't stop the smile. "I'd love to."
Somehow, the two were still leaned into one another. Elizabeth could feel his breath on her face. With her heart marching double time, she looked at his mouth. Bringing her hands up to his face, she leaned in and touched her lips to his, ever so gently.
The shock Nathan felt very quickly gave way to delight. While he wanted to go all in, he knew that he needed to handle her with care. He wasn't kidding earlier...he'd waited a LONG time for this.
Elizabeth knew the moment his shock wore off because he moved even closer and eased into the kiss. Her body began to tingle from head to toe and it took an immense amount of restraint to not just give way to the passion that had been denied for far too long. But she would not make this like her first kiss with Lucas. This was too special. This did not require trying too hard. His lips were both soft and firm at the same time and he smelled of the woods and fresh air...it was intoxicating.
Pulling back slightly, she rested her forehead against his and tried to get her breath. Releasing a sigh, she breathed, "You're right, you have been waiting a long time for that...we've been waiting a long time. I could get lost in you very easily, Nathan Grant, and not give a care to ever be found."
It did wonders to Nathan's heart to finally hear these words from this woman that he'd loved for so long. He grinned at her as he tried to calming his stampeding heart. "So, you caught that reference, did you?"
Her hands had drifted down to his neck and she was currently playing with his hair. She noticed his eyes close when she did that. She smiled.
"Oh yes, I did. I wondered, for a moment, if I'd imagined it...but I caught your smile before I turned around."
He looked at her so fondly that it made her heart ache...in a good way...a very good way, indeed.
"Can't get much past you, can I?" he said, with a laugh. "You'd make a good investigator. I'm going to have to remember that!"
Again, Elizabeth was struck by how wonderful it felt to really be seen and still loved. She was only regretful that it had taken her so long to understand this. With Jack, she'd demanded to be seen. With Lucas, it was the opposite. It was almost as if she just went along to get along. With Nathan? He'd always seen her and, somehow, he still loved her.
She gazed back into those beautiful blue eyes, tracing her hand along the side of his face, then pulled him closer. "I love you, Nathan Grant" her words were barely a whisper as she took his mouth again with a brief, but no less searing, kiss.
Nathan pulled back a little, and they once again rested their foreheads together. With a little laugh, he said, "I think we're going to need some chaperones this evening. What do you say to a family dinner?"
A brilliant smile bloomed on Elizabeth's face. A chance to do it over. Second chances were a blessing. "I think you're right...and I absolutely love the idea." Reluctantly, she stood, smoothing her skirt. "I just need to freshen up. If Rosemary or Fiona see me out with my face looking like this, they'll be horrified."
They both chuckled, knowing it to be true. They'd have his hide if they thought he'd made her cry! As Elizabeth headed upstairs, Nathan went to the sink to splash some water on his own face and to thank the Lord for this day and, oddly enough, the fire that came before it.
xxxxxxxxx
As Nathan and Elizabeth began to walk into town, she reached over and grabbed his hand, entwining their fingers together. Nathan glanced down and then looked at her with his half smile while squeezing her hand. "Today is a very good day." he declared.
She smiled back with a hand squeeze of her own and replied, "Indeed. Though I would say it's the very best."