Third Time's the Charm

by SugarcaneSoldier

Dying again was much more painful the second time for Tanya von Degurechaff, but what came after was intriguing, to say the least, and she was nothing if not opportunistic. Taking the opportunity presented by Aqua would expand her opportunities by much more than she could have dreamed possible… but why did the good have to come with so much insanity!

40. Realizations and Dirty Dealings

Tanya rubbed her chin, staring at the table with her latest creation on it.

Or, what was supposed to be a creation. Instead, at the moment, the thing she was trying to create looked… lopsided.

Tanya turned to Lorelei. "Hey. Does… Smith not work that well with paper?"

Lorelei scoffed and looked up from her own drawings. "Of course not. You'd need skills from a Tailor or a Bookkeeper for stuff like that to work even decently."

Tanya glared at the side of her head – and Lorelei resisted the urge to smirk at her as she displayed one of the few ways she could one-up the leader of their party. Honestly…

She paused. Right, she had wanted to ask Lorelei about changing jobs.

She voiced her question, and Lorelei sent her a confused look. "Hurt? It…"

She then looked down at the ground, thinking. "Well, I suppose, if someone hadn't experienced having the body spliced together with an animal, then that might be described as painful."

She shrugged. "Depends on your pain tolerance, I guess."

Tanya nodded to herself… and sighed once again. Maybe she'd give up on creating a tissue box for now-

The doors flew open, and they both turned to find that Viktoriya was staring down at the ground, looking… pensive-

And Tanya tried not to audibly groan as she remembered that, yes, Viktoriya had in fact gone on a date with Mitsurugi.

Still, she should be supportive of their relationship and hide all her feelings. "Viktoriya! So… how was it?" she asked, the spitting image of someone who definitely wasn't jealous in the slightest with twitchy hair and a smile that only just reached her eyes.

Viktoriya sighed tiredly. "Well… it was a great date, actually, for the most part. We toured Axel for a while, we had a wonderful lunch… but at the end…"

She scowled.

"I assume he's already dead, then, if he tried something?"

Viktoriya blinked rapidly to find that Tanya was still the perfect image of a helpful, caring friend, despite what she'd just said. Tanya shrugged.

"Well, if he tried to get screwy, you've already dealt-"

"No! I mean… it was Kazuma-"

"Ah, so you want me to discipline him since we can't kill him? No prob-"

"No!" she shouted, and Tanya stopped… and realized that she might be acting just a touch overprotective.

Just a smidge.

A tad.

Only a little bit, though.

Tanya cleared her throat and her mind, nodded once, and smiled.

Viktoriya sighed. "No, Kazuma and I played a game against each other, I lost, and we…"

She shrugged. "Well, Kyouya and I both decided that we weren't right for each other. We're still friends though! I didn't alienate him or anything," she said, hurriedly completing her sentence before Tanya got the wrong idea and charged after him.

She wouldn't have done that, because she was both berating herself for not feeling less sorry for Viktoriya and wildly celebrating that Viktoriya wasn't being taken away from her.

Tanya cleared her throat again – a voice crack might look suspicious – and smiled again. "Well, at least you're still friends, right?"

She nodded… and then began to talk about her date more in depth. "Oh, Tanya, I've got to take you to this restaurant. It's super secretive, and the manager bought some of your bonds! We could probably eat for free, and they've apparently got good coffee on their 'breakfast menu.'"

They began to talk to each other, while Lorelei tried hard not to have an aneurysm. How.

How didn't-

She shook her head and continued doodling. That Being X character… and, she admitted hesitantly, Eris herself, must have been working extra hard to keep them from realizing their affections for each other…

She shook her head again. No, tonight… she'd confront Viktoriya about it. She'd said that she'd tried to tell her once, right?

Maybe she could offer a fresh perspective… or something. She was getting them together soon, before the Succubi tried anything… iffy.

She blinked. "Hey, wait a minute. Tanya, why were you wondering about the process to change jobs?"

Tanya froze and stared at her, blank faced and neutral. "No reason at all."

She continued talking to Viktoriya… and Lorelei had the feeling that they would all find out why Tanya wanted to know at the same time she revealed why she had been drinking, using her magic to avoid the two of them, and generally slinking around town for a few days.

Until then, though, Lorelei would figure out what that confession between them was like… and before that, she'd finish her designs for Tanya's suit and Viktoriya's dress.

-OxOxO-

Things were a lot more sedate for the rest of the day. Tanya had taken a break from the mountains of work she'd been pushing herself through for the past two days, spending time playing chess with Viktoriya and Lorelei, reading a few of Alderp's books, and teaching the two of them a bit of Japanese – it seemed that Lorelei wanted to learn a bit of it if Viktoriya was going to.

Viktoriya, too, taught them both a bit of Russian, something they had a better time with, considering the fact that Belzerg's language was much closer to European ones than anything Asian, and that Tanya already had a decent grasp on a few European languages – English had been a helpful addition when she'd been applying for jobs related to business, considering its usage internationally, but she'd taken the time to learn the languages of a few of the Empire's minorities as well.

Meanwhile, Lorelei had tried, more than once, to point out the way the two of them disregarded any and all personal barriers if it was the two of them, the way that they both blushed when either of them praised the other for doing well, and how the two of them stared at each other, a lot.

Viktoriya, unfortunately, silenced her with a glare at every turn, even discussing the 'theoretical' possibility of creating a silencing spell with Tanya.

She had responded with her usual speed. "Well… of course you could, but the Dehydrate spell does a lot more, and I don't think the time put into just silencing someone without sucking the air from their lungs would be worth it."

Lorelei had taken that as the threat it was and backed off after that, merely contenting herself with watching them during dinner adding to her list of reasons as to why they really should have realized this by now.

They said goodnight, all of them going into their rooms… only for Lorelei to tiptoe back out, slowly sneaking into Viktoriya's room-

"You'd better have a good reason for coming in here… and if the word 'Succubus' leaves your mouth, you'll regret it."

Only to find that she was staring at her with her bayonet trained on her small nose.

She smiled nervously, letting out a small chuckle. "Actually, no. I was wondering what's on your card."

Viktoriya blinked at the odd, unfamiliar request, and Lorelei took the chance. She stepped past her and landed in a corner of the room, taking up a defensive posture.

Viktoriya just sighed. She really wouldn't let this go…

She narrowed her eyes. Fine then.

"Show me yours first."

Lorelei paused at that, but she didn't take her attention off of Viktoriya as she took a step closer to try and take the shirt back during her lapse.

She shrugged. "Fine. I've already told you enough about me that it doesn't matter."

Viktoriya pouted at that, but she fished her card out of an old pile of clothes and shoved it at her, while Lorelei extracted her's from a pocket in her coat.

'A FORMER RUSSY NOBLE DRIVEN FROM HER HOME, SHE WAS TRAINED TO BE ONE OF THE MOST SKILLED MAGES IN THE EMPIRE BY THE WHITE SILVER. NOW, WITH THE SCALE OF TANYA'S FIGHT REVEALED AND A NEW BATTLEGROUND TO FIGHT ON, WILL VIKTORIYA BE ABLE TO OVERCOME INDECISIVENESS AND CHOOSE A PATH? EH, I DON'T KNOW, I'M JUST A PIECE OF PAPER.'

Lorelei raised her eyebrows. Among descriptions of people in Adventurer cards, this was… a lengthy one, for sure.

She wasn't an expert on the subject of adventurer cards, but they were often used in popular plays as an opening, to introduce the story to those unfamiliar with it.

Viktoriya was staring down at Lorelei's card, and Lorelei just raised an eyebrow. It wasn't that long, so…

"I… didn't know that your fiancé did that to you…"

Lorelei blinked. "Oh yeah." She looked down at her card again.

'TRAINING TO BECOME THE BEST TAILOR IN ALL OF BELZERG, LORELEI WAS CHANGED INTO A BEASTMAN BY BAD LUCK. WORSE, HER FORMER FIANCE WAS GIVEN ALL OF HER ASSETS, LEAVING HER ALONE AND DESTITUTE. NOW, WITH A PARTY THAT WON'T ABANDON HER, WILL SHE BE ABLE TO COME INTO HER OWN IN HER NEW LINE OF WORK?'

She shook her head. "It doesn't matter. What I want to talk about is how you two need to start dating. Like, now."

Viktoriya's glare could have melted through the ground itself, but Lorelei stood strong. "No! I've got a list of every interaction that proves, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you two-"

"Are just close friends, no matter what I…"

Lorelei looked triumphant, and Viktoriya glared at her even as the truth passed her traitorous lips. "No matter the fact that I… that love her, and can't stop loving her, she doesn't-"

"Oh yes she does! You two are too busy dancing around each other to notice that you both really do want this, and that it isn't one sided!"

Viktoriya sighed again. "But… my card-"

Lorelei glared. "Hey, mine has said that thing about my party since day one, and I still got kicked to the curb before I met you two. And besides… your card doesn't say which path you should choose. It just says you should choose one."

Flopping onto her bed, Viktoriya sighed again, glaring at the card and at her and at the ceiling, before resolving herself. "Fine. I can see that you'll be stubborn about this… so I'll tell you how…"

Lorelei's righteous triumph quickly reversed as she saw tears form in the corners of Viktoriya's eyes. "How Tanya rejected me nearly two years ago."

She opened her mouth-

"That was dramatic," Lorelei commented. Viktoriya's glare shut up any more snarky comments Lorelei might have made, and she began.

-OxOxO-OxOxO-

Wind whipped past her hair, but she didn't mind the light breeze…

Or, the 'light breeze' was actually composed of winds that would take off the head of her and her paladins if they weren't using magic to reinforce their bodies, but same difference, really.

She took in a deep breath as her adjutant rode up to her. It was taking every fiber of her being to not act out of turn. It wouldn't do for their commander to be seen whining.

But… it was just so unfair! Tanya got to do all the fun stuff, like kill heretical communist civilians with chemical weapons, and Johanna barely got to do anything.

She glared into the distance as her faithful follower flew closer to her. Of course, she did get to fight Sioux – and she wouldn't cuss out someone else blessed by G- god, even if he had only helped the bint to test her own faith – but Tanya still wouldn't give in, not all the way…

She shrugged. She would give in eventually, and then G- god would bless them as they cleansed the Earth in a flood of chemicals, bullets, and flames.

"Ah… sir?" she was stirred out of her musings – it would be a much more violent flood than Noah's… and perhaps Johanna would be allowed to choose who got on the proverbial arc – by the voice of her faithful.

Johanna smiled sweetly at the girl. "Yes, Viktoriya?"

She swallowed hard, uncharacteristically nervous. It had taken her weeks to build up the confidence to do this. To come up to the Colonel and…

And ask her if she'd like to be in a relationship.

Weeks of doubting herself, of wondering if she could ask anyone else for advice before deciding that she couldn't, followed by more fretting, worrying, and generally trying not to feel nauseous anytime they weren't in a battle.

Days of thinking about the perfect moment to spring the question on her, and now, after a successful battle against the Bloody Valkyrie and an equally successful push by their Kampfgruppe, along with the arrival of the first bits of coffee that weren't made of more chemicals than they were of burnt acorns, she thought it was the perfect time.

In fact, she'd been thinking about it and spacing out about it and blushing so much about what she imagined what might happen after she asked her out for the past few weeks that Tanya had brought her to the Battalion's medic several times.

Her heartbeat fluttered, and despite the cold air of her homeland, she could feel her cheeks flush.

Didn't… didn't that show that she cared about her? If it were any of the other men, she'd order them to get checked up, obviously, but Tanya wouldn't have brought them to the medic and stayed with them the whole time. That had to mean something… right?

She took another deep breath. "C- Colonel… I was wondering… if you and I could… um, have a conversation about the current status of the interpersonal relationships of the members of the 203rd, and, more specifically… about mine and yours?" she asked, whispering the last part.

She paused, waiting, with bated breath-

"Hehe… Hahahah!"

Grip slack. Lips parted slightly. Her eyes widened and grew wet. Her heart shattered. Why-

Her Flight spells deactivated completely for a split second, and she reapplied them almost as fast, shaking her head while trying to put up a brave front inside her head, even if her face wouldn't obey her brain's current orders to remain blank.

N- no, she wasn't laughing at her proposal, doing something even worse than any of the many rejection scenarios her mind had conjured. She was… just thinking of something else. She… she often laughed to herself or said odd, nonsensical things when she thought other people couldn't hear her. This… was just one of those times…

Yeah…

Meanwhile, Johanna looked back at her distracted, almost terrified adjutant with a smirk. She had seen what Tanya had not: Viktoriya lusted after Tanya, and Tanya lusted after Viktoriya.

She nearly retched at the thought – sex outside of marriage and with another woman? Disgraceful! She should produce a child and teach it the glorious-

She felt her control slipping faster than normal, for a moment, and Johanna cursed. No, she wasn't letting something like this happen if she couldn't help it, and letting Tanya back in control too soon would very likely let it happen.

Meanwhile, the other officers of the 203rd had drifted forward. Weiss, using complicated hand signals that Koenig had developed for times when using their spells or voices would attract attention, signaled to the others that an 'important' conversation was going on.

Everyone in the battalion, and, indeed, most of the Kampfgruppe itself, were taking bets as to when the two of them would finally realize their feelings for each other.

It had started out small, as most things did. Years ago, the officers of the battalion had realized just how close those two were compared to… well, just about every other unmarried person in the world, really. They had sworn not to tell anyone else and ruin their relationship's natural development, and that they'd even try to prevent the others from discovering it.

The moment everyone else in the battalion had realized it after listening in on a few choice conversations between the two – mostly the ones involving coffee, loyalty, and how it would be redundant to have a significant other when an adjutant provided most of the benefits that Tanya would ever want and none of the costs – the three of them had quickly switched tracks, setting up the initial betting pool and taking bets from everyone.

Tanya would likely have been proud at how quickly they managed to salvage the situation, were it not for the fact that the bet involved her.

Admittedly, the three of them were aware that it was extreme that the entire Kampfgruppe knew and was taking bets on it… but they liked having the extra cash too much to try and shut it down.

This betting pool was, coincidentally, the only one that Viktoriya was not privy to.

Thus, they were able to hear the next words that she let out of her mouth. "Of course, Viktoriya! I promise! Just so you know, I don't think I want any of your coffee tonight. Wouldn't want to get frazzled or anything!"

Viktoriya gulped back a pathetic whimper and made doubly sure that her spells were still activated with how it felt like the planet was falling out from under her. But, it could be…

She hung her head. No, Tanya hadn't ever turned away her coffee, even when all they had was the ersatz coffee, the kind that was hardly anything more than burnt acorns and beechnuts. She'd even had to order Viktoriya not to try and salvage something from the most horrible, chemical-laced stuff that they were provided with from time to time.

The other three were also currently trying not to begin shouting. How- why…

They looked at each other. Perhaps it would be a good idea to begin downsizing the betting pool…

And while they all reeled and tried not to let their hopes falter, Johanna was applying extra Flight spells to her body.

Not to change course, of course. Hehe. Instead, she was making sure that Tanya would be sore and tired when she woke up in a few minutes.

When she applied force to one side of her head, an equal force would be applied to the other side, squeezing. She did this over and over: her arms, her back and torso, her legs, her fingers, even her eyes. Nothing was spared from the soreness she was making sure permeated every inch of her being.

With every application of force, Johanna could feel her tentative hold falter more and more. She didn't care, though.

Doing this was also burning through their last stores of mana. By the time Tanya took control, she'd be sweaty, exhausted, and thoroughly unhappy to have to follow through on promises made when not in control.

For a fleeting moment, she wished that she could stick around longer. If only her lord had blessed the heretical Degurechaff with another Divine Relic, or, maybe, if Degurechaff herself was just a bit more willing to give in-

Her Flight spell cut out for a moment, and Tanya gasped. What-

She shook her head, activating a Flight spell and rising up a dozen meters to rejoin her men. What…

She sighed and scowled. Everything was…

Her next sigh was incredibly tired. Had that battle been that bad? She remembered the Bloody Valkyrie showing up and then leaving early, and then…

Her next scowl was incredibly angry. The Type 95 was making her forget more and more, then.

With a grumble, she wished that she remembered exactly what had brought about this weariness and… lack of mana. Had they faced a lot of mages? Had they needed to help the Kampfgruppe? She didn't know, and she'd need to get a combat report.

Even if she'd like nothing more than to curl up in her bed and sleep off this feeling…

-OxOxO-

Just as she brought out the paperwork for the report she'd need to make on their latest advance – or maybe it had been a loss. She didn't remember – a knock sounded on her door.

She almost didn't want to answer it. She was feeling far too tired… but if it was a messenger from Rerugen asking for the report that she'd just managed to take out to refer it back to the General Staff, or a messenger telling her that their requests for supplies had finally been heard amid the sea of requests from every other major and minor fighting force in this damn war, or… something else that was important, then…

With a groan, she rose, opening the door-

She blinked. Viktoriya? She hadn't-

Then, that thought left her mind. Coffee would wash away this lethargy-

But it wasn't there. Tanya couldn't help but feel just slightly annoyed at that, but she tried not to let any of it leak onto her face or into her tone. "Serebryakov?"

Slowly, her adjutant nodded. "I'm here to talk to you about… that thing?" she said, hoping that referring to it vaguely might detract from the slight – okay, obvious, very obvious – way the subject irked her, if she was willing to swear off coffee for such a conversation.

Tanya nodded slowly, carefully keeping her expression neutral as she moved out of the way of her adjutant.

Shit.

She had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. Maybe…

As Viktoriya passed, Tanya growled, "And what exactly are we talking about again? This time, describe it without the use of indeterminate language, if you would please."

Viktoriya stiffened at that. "Uh- Yes ma'am! I asked to have a conversation about your opinions on the status of the interpersonal relationships of the Kampfgruppe, ma'am!"

Though her ploy had worked – she now had an idea of what she wanted to talk about – the small woman fought the urge to growl – she'd told them to refer to her as sir – and she opened her mouth-

Only to pause. Viktoriya had flinched – she'd nearly taken a few steps back, actually – from the look on her face.

Tanya sighed tiredly, resisting the urge to rub her face – she did not want to scare her right now. Viktoriya had done nothing to deserve it – and she strolled away from the door and towards the rickety stool that, while not in any way comfortable, had at least been new when she received it, unlike every other piece of furniture in their billet.

"Alright. First, though, I'd like you to give me a contact report on our last engagement, please," she said. Hopefully, with that out of the way, she might feel slightly less tired…

"Oh," was all that Viktoriya could mutter. Dutifully, she rattled off what had happened – reports of multiple advances everywhere from the north and east of their position, all personnel being ordered to fight, their own brief fight against the Bloody Valkyrie, and the specifics of how the ground forces had been able to repel and even push out below them – during which Tanya began to think about Viktoriya's request.

…No matter which way she looked at it, she wanted to ask about Tanya's opinions on dating right now, didn't she?

As Viktoriya finished, Tanya let out yet another tired sigh. Well, at least she had asked for permission before forgiveness.

That saying about asking for the latter instead of the former didn't apply if Tanya was staring down at some miscreant begging not to be given the worst jobs she could think of.

Meanwhile, Viktoriya was reassessing her options. Could she really do this, could she-

"Um… would you… like to postpone this for… later?" she asked, sudden timidity flaring up with her halted speech.

Outright asking her…

Her face was flooded by her blush. The way that Tanya had laughed at her had depleted her confidence, dampening her spirits. The refusal of coffee had further driven it into the ground, and the way she had snapped at her was also weighing her down, dragging her ever deeper into a pit of nervousness.

As if that weren't enough, her suddenly understanding tone scared her. Had she suddenly changed tactics, deciding to try and… let her down gently?

No, Viktoriya couldn't ask her directly. She'd try to be more… diplomatic? Circumspect? Something lik-

Tanya, mid-stretch, gave her an unimpressed look, and her heart, somehow, managed to sink ever further, drowning as it became surrounded by fear instead of trepidation.

"Did I or did I not promise you to have this talk?" she asked rhetorically.

Really, she wished Viktoriya would answer the rhetorical question. If she hadn't, she'd postpone this for later, when she had her full faculties about her.

Unfortunately, Viktoriya slowly nodded her head, and Tanya sighed again. "Then you have your answer. I'll finish the paperwork later," she said, tired and… not wanting to do this right now.

Viktoriya looked down guiltily. Here she was, interrupting the Colonel's tireless work. Was this really worth either of their times, when the answer would be-

She shook her head. No, she would-

"Regardless of how you worded it, it is obvious that you desire to start a relationship in the middle of a war. Is that correct, Serebryakov, or am I somehow misinterpreting things?" she asked, skeptical and not at all enhancing Serebryakov's confidence in her chances.

Serebryakov shook her head again, her gaze drifting down. "N- no, Colonel. You aren't wrong at all," she said quietly.

Tanya shrugged. Well, as long as she did understand correctly, then…

She shrugged. "Hmm. Well, I can at least admire your transparency, Serebryakov. None of the others even asked if it was appropriate."

Viktoriya looked up sharply. Wha-

Had- had… other people also wanted to… court the Colonel? Had she turned them down, or…

Her eyes widened. Was she actually already in a relationship? Was that why she'd laughed at her earlier?

"Uh… Colonel?" she asked, scared and frightened that she'd spent too long being afraid of rejection – a fear that was looking increasingly less impossible by the second – and that someone else had swept her away from Viktoriya's embrace.

She scoffed. "Nearly everyone else in our battalion has at least attempted to get some action – and that has nothing to do with fighting – during leave at one point or another with locals or other people in the Imperial Military," Tanya said, keeping to herself the flickering jealousy she felt that they could ever fantasize about getting some without contemplating their identity.

"O- OH! That's…" she cleared her throat and went silent once more.

Tanya raised an eyebrow at the woman. "Well, to answer your question, I don't suppose that I'm opposed to the idea in its entirety…" she began. Viktoriya's heart began beating erratically, while Tanya began to think.

Hmm…

Just who was she interested in, anyway?

"I suppose… you are Russy, yes?" she began. Viktoriya sent a confused look and an even nod at her, and Tanya nodded to herself. "Then, your tastes align with the natives providing us with supplies and aid against Communists, correct?" she asked, semi-rhetorically.

They were plenty helpful – most of the ones who cared to interact with them extensively were the ones most damaged by the Communist's system, and thus more willing to help them fight the Communists – and Tanya supposed that there might be a diamond in the rough among the peasants.

Viktoriya took a step back, stunned-

Had… hadn't she heard her?

She shook her head. No… she must have heard her… although, had Viktoriya whispered the last part of her request? Perhaps…

"Oh? Then… it's not one of the men, is it?" she asked. What Viktoriya could see in the men of the 203rd – though they were loyal, none of them seemed like the… type for Serebryakov.

Or, who knew? Maybe one of the bloodthirsty maniacs – though she used that term more affectionately these days than at the beginning – had managed to make an impression on her outside of battle. She didn't know. Tanya wasn't privy to her adjutant's every thought… though that might have been helpful in speeding things along in this case.

Again, she shook her head. "No, ma'am. It's-"

Tanya's eyes narrowed. "Serebryakov. Are you interested in an officer of higher rank than you?" she asked frankly, her eyes narrowed.

Tanya's change of tone, once again, threw her off balance. "Uh… yes, Colonel. Is… that a problem?"

Tanya spun around, staring down at the paperwork on her desk once more with a furrowed brow.

The branches of the Imperial Armed Forces – the army and the navy, essentially, since both planes and aerial mages were considered parts of either – did not have a comprehensive, catch-all code for relationships between soldiers. There simply hadn't been enough female soldiers in any part of the military to justify needing them, and any… incidents were handled at an essentially 'local' level.

Though that was changing – requirements had been slackened to help find the manpower to fight the hordes of the Russy Federation, and magic didn't discriminate between gender, as far as Tanya's research showed. Thus, as more female soldiers were brought to the front, some sort of code was needed.

And even if Tanya hadn't had any official or even unofficial from anyone higher up, she remembered well what relationships between employees of different status led to: unemployment.

Indeed, a percentage of the people she fired were employees using a relationship with managers to receive favoritism, or other combinations of an employee of higher status being soft on someone when they shouldn't be all because of some workplace romance.

Thankfully, there were examples workplace romances occurring without any favoritism – which she shoved in the face of people she was firing when they got found out – so she didn't have to bar Viktoriya from pursuing-

Tanya's train of thought derailed. Wait… who, exactly, was a higher rank than Viktoriya?

Herself, obviously, but Tanya knew very well that that wasn't happening on this side of the 20th century. Other than her, though…

She frowned again. The only officer of a higher rank than her that she had any appreciable experience with was… Rerugen, unless she'd met someone while gambling.

She let out a sigh. Well, she had experience from her last life and some unofficial guidelines from this one to rely on. But if she was going to do this…

She looked up from the paperwork. Viktoriya would need to be… quite sure. Tanya wouldn't risk compromising two of her most valuable resources through some affair.

She grimaced.

Tanya had to push her.

She turned around again to find that Viktoriya had drifted forward, hoping that Tanya's silence meant that… that she was going to admit that she-

"Serebryakov. You are aware, of course, that involving yourself with a superior officer means that such a relationship would be rigorously scrutinized, yes?"

She blanched. Of course she knew, though, that wasn't the biggest reason she knew that might lead to scrutiny.

Though the Empire was one of the most meritocratic states on Earth, even it still had limits, and granting official recognition to homosexual relationships was one of them.

Though… she'd heard from Elya that, away from prying eyes and behind closed doors, a part of Berun had a community of… people like her that might welcome her – them? – no matter her partner.

It was a letter from Elya that had sparked the idea that she might… love Tanya nearly six months ago, and though she couldn't put anything concrete in her letters on the off chance they were being searched, Elya had managed to give her some advice… like that tidbit on Berun.

She shook her head. Though she didn't particularly feel more attracted to one sex than the other – really, it was mostly just Tanya – that wasn't the question right now. It was…

"Uh… ma'am?" she asked, confused. There'd be scrutiny, but would it really-

Tanya raised a disbelieving eyebrow. "Please tell me you're joking, Serebryakov. What happens when people find out? There will always be questions about favoritism from everyone around you, constantly making sure that they're not being passed over or being given worse treatment so that you can be pampered."

She flinched away. "But… I… thought I'd keep it secret- and I don't expect to be-"

"HA! Don't make me laugh! In an environment such as this, you think that you can keep something like that secret? People aren't obtuse idiots who can't look beyond their own nose and don't notice the feelings of those around them," she drilled out.

"And you don't expect to be given preferential treatment? Even if it's only subconsciously, it will happen, regardless of your intentions."

Viktoriya was looking increasingly downtrodden, and Tanya stopped herself from sighing.

This was exactly the reason she'd pushed her drive to actually do this so hard. If she wasn't completely and utterly devoted to the idea of pursuing a relationship, she'd get struck down eventually.

Though something in the back of her head was trying to tell her… something about the situation – she still hadn't said who she was interested in – it wasn't like there was any doubt about who it was.

Tanya shook her head. "Have you even considered the feelings of the person you're trying to court?"

"Of course-"

"Then you haven't thought very hard," she said, cutting her off again. "Do you think a superior committed to their personal advancement in the military, to victory in this war, and to the Fatherland itself would be willing to distract themselves with something as time and energy consuming as a relationship?" she asked, scornfully.

Viktoriya paused, her throat clenching. No, hadn't she…

But, had she done it honestly, if this was Tanya's reaction?

No, she'd only been thinking about how Tanya might react to a declaration of love, but… had she considered the root cause of any of her reactions?

N… not really. She'd been hoping that Tanya would admit to the glances they both stole at each other, or that the advice on bodily care or equipment maintenance or coffee preparation wasn't just friendly or from one soldier to another.

She'd hoped that Tanya would admit that sharing a room with each other and sharing a bed together made her heart soar past the clouds and all the way to the moon, just like Viktoriya wanted to.

She hoped…

She cast her head down to hide the tears shattering her face. But…

But hope wasn't enough.

Tanya was devoted to the war, to the Fatherland. Tanya had volunteered for the army – why would she ever want to be involved with a conscript, loyal and brave and strong or not?

"Then… that's your opinion on the matter?" she asked, her voice raspy.

Tanya spun away from her.

"I think it isn't a good idea. But, you are your own woman. Pursue whatever relationship you want – just don't let it interfere with your work, don't try and use it for personal gain, and don't involve me in it."

Her shoulders shattered, shaking in place. Tanya was looking away, which was perhaps the only reason she wasn't letting any sound exit her shredded heart-

She stood up straight, suddenly. She'd… get away. Find somewhere to be alone, to think about how absolutely shortsighted she'd been, for this to happen, and… "I- I- I'm sorry to have bothered you with this, m- ma'am. I… should have thought about our situation more, and…"

She trailed off again, trying to stem the flow of tears. Tanya began to talk again, still facing away from her.

"Think nothing of it. Next time, do be sure to consider things more thoroughly, and…" she said, turning around and trailing off as she saw the agony on her adjutant's face.

She walked over to the desk once more. "Though I am supposed to keep track of the relationships of mages under my command – some brilliant attempt by the General Staff at offloading some espionage activities that they don't have the manpower for – I'll pretend this didn't happen."

That was the only additional information she had from higher ups on the status of relationships, besides the general and vague orders to 'make sure no one's violating our honor' and to 'keep things clean and quiet,' and not following through was a risk…

But, really, Viktoriya was Tanya's most faithful-

She paused as Viktoriya turned to go. Most… faithful? When had she ever referred to the 203rd as-

She shook her head as Viktoriya, suppressing her crying, opened the door and left. Maybe the stupid Type 95 was corrupting her more than she thought.

With a flourish, she sat down. Though it pained her to sour relations between herself and a valuable resource, things would be exponentially worse if Viktoriya succumbed to temptation and somehow managed to get Rerugen to violate his obviously unshakable foundation.

She frowned. Though, it would be out of character for both of them, so… hmm.

While she couldn't risk losing someone as useful as Viktoriya and someone as helpful as Rerugen at the same time, perhaps she had been a touch too harsh.

She reached out to grab her coffee… only to scowl as she realized it wasn't there. With yet another sigh, she stretched out. Maybe she'd been a bit too excessive? Perhaps her tiredness had also been changing her responses too much…

She shrugged. Viktoriya was a strong soldier. She'd either get over it, or Tanya would make an effort to apologize and smooth over any ruffled feathers.

Other than that, she'd obviously reached the best solution to the problem that she could have.

She smiled to herself. Maybe things were looking up for her? Viktoriya had said that they'd driven off that damn pawn easily, after all…

-OxOxO-OxOxO-

Lorelei, sitting next to Viktoriya on her bed, stared at Viktoriya, not quite sure what she should do.

Returning to the argument would be absolutely unfitting after… that. At least, it would be if she did right away.

Instead, she reached over and embraced her. That didn't stop the crying, or the shaking, or the sniffing, or the blubbering, but she did stop clutching herself and instead grabbed onto Lorelei.

"That was…"

And that was all she could say on the subject. She wasn't sure what else she could say, really…

Trying to categorize that… experience wasn't exactly hard, but if she said what it was, it might just reinforce Viktoriya's belief that Tanya wasn't in love with her.

Lorelei was having a few doubts herself. Was it really-

She shook her head. No! She'd already been over this, and she was sure. Convincing Viktoriya would, however, be a lot harder.

Or maybe it'd be easier? She had a few sneaking suspicions about the story…

But that would come later. For now… she'd just sit there and let Viktoriya cry on her shoulder.

And cry she did. For seconds and minutes and over an hour, she cried. Remembering how… completely Tanya had torn her argument to shreds… how utterly thoughtless she had been, to think only of her own desires and her selfish, stupid-

"Hey, no self-deprecating thoughts," Lorelei finally said, startling Viktoriya out of her internal monologue. She looked up, confused, and Lorelei shrugged. "I can recognize it. Now…"

She sighed, and Viktoriya inched back, sniffing. "T- thanks for that. We… I didn't have a lot of time to process things two years ago."

Lorelei raised an eyebrow, and Viktoriya smiled mirthlessly. "A week after that… the Empire was forced to fight the Balkan nation south of our nation's territory, while the Federation began a massive push against our lines. Supplies began to dry up too, so I didn't really have time to… process it all amidst the struggle to survive."

Lorelei nodded sympathetically, hoping that such a thing would never happen to Belzerg. Despite the war, things hadn't ever really gotten that bad. Hopefully, they never would.

She shook her head. "Viktoriya… I-"

"So you see now why I can't try again? How absolutely hopeless it is?" she asked.

Lorelei smiled nervously, making placating motions with her hands. "Well-"

Her stare hardened. "Sorry, let me rephrase that. Do you realize why I'm going to kick you out of the window if you don't stop trying to do this?"

Lorelei had to propose something fast, or she really would. The look on her face brokered no disagreement, so-

"Consider her actions."

Viktoriya stood, ready to advance and literally kick her out of the window… but she paused, an eyebrow raised. "Which… actions?"

Lorelei scoffed. "Is 'all of them' too broad a base, or-"

Viktoriya grabbed her ears, and she screeched, "Hey, hands off! That hurts, you-"

"Which actions?"

Lorelei shut her mouth, and reached a hand into the smallest pocket on the inside of her coat, bringing out a number of photos.

Viktoriya immediately let her go and sat back down next to her, taking them in her hands and just… staring at them. Hardly even thinking.

Lorelei motioned towards the first few on the top, depicting the two of them cuddling and hugging and groping each other as they slept. "I wouldn't be doing this if I thought it was impossible. Just… look! That first picture is from after when you two wore yourselves out. I took pictures of you two sleeping-"

"And you didn't just move us around to-"

"Think about what you're saying!" she yelled, cutting her off. Viktoriya did, and Lorelei began to explain.

"Is it more likely for me to have somehow repositioned the two of you in these poses while not waking you for some stupid prank, or are the two of you just… accustomed to each other's presence?" she asked.

Viktoriya remained silent, and Lorelei gestured to the next set of images. "And this! These are pictures from… that night when Lolisa looked at your dreams. Do you think that you two somehow aren't madly in love with the way you're feeding each other and… just look at that look!" she shouted, shoving the pictures in her face.

Viktoriya shook her head, desperate. "No! That's… we're really close, and…"

Lorelei glared again. "Tanya sends you looks and she blushes when you compliment her, and I'm sure you couldn't have just missed all of them! The town thinks that you two are in a relationship already-"

"WHAT!?" she shouted, fuming. Lorelei tittered. "Ah, well, if you remember the day that you two went and, uh… 'interrogated' Aqua, Dust and his party protected you during your lunch, or something? Apparently, he might have called the two of you Axis Cultists, and-"

"But we're not! We-"

"Though they don't exactly like Axis Cultists – most everyone in town is an Eris Cultist, after all – the people of Axel have seen the two of you together, acting close, and the rumor took off," she said, laying out yet more proof.

Viktoriya quieted once more. For minutes, she sat there, thinking. Thinking about it, thinking about how… much she wanted this to be the real deal…

But no matter how much she thought about it, her mind kept cycling back to that, to her rejection. Lorelei opened her mouth to speak, but Viktoriya silenced her with a teary-eyed, anguished look. "But… but if… if that's all true… then why-"

She silenced herself again. Lorelei sighed again. "Look… you yourself said that Tanya's got some Godly being after her, right?"

Viktoriya nodded, childlike, and Lorelei bit her lip. "Is it possible he's been… stopping you two from realizing your feelings?"

Viktoriya shot her a distinctly irate look. "Lorelei, why on Earth would he-"

"To make you two… unhappy, maybe? He's trying to convert Tanya, right? If she had your love and support, would she ever think of bowing down to him?"

Viktoriya blushed madly at the thought – Tanya standing strong against all foes, her own stubbornness and willpower fusing with Viktoriya's love to create an unbreakable drive to defeat her foes to – and she shook her head, cutting off that train of thought and considering the matter practically.

…It was possible, but…

"Would God really do something so… petty? Tanya's descriptions of him didn't exactly give me the feeling that he was…"

Lorelei stared at her incredulously. "Are… you serious?"

Slowly, Viktoriya nodded, and Lorelei groaned. "I don't know what kind of Gods and Goddesses you all had, but Eris and Aqua…"

She shrugged. "They've come down a bunch, and Aqua's acted plenty petty… though, I suppose that Eris isn't free of blame either… anyway. It doesn't happen often, sure, but they've come down to vanquish the odd Demon that's strayed too far from the protection of a General, and the Eris festival is specifically made so that Eris can come down if she wants, to be with her people and take a break! We've got records…"

She laughed to herself. "There's even a play based on their actions! I saw it in Elroad, about Aqua being offended that someone claimed to be more beautiful, right to her face. The woman was cursed with bad Luck for the rest of her life and only found love when she joined the Axis Cult to seek repentance. While the attempt at getting the Cults to work together is heavy-handed, it's still a thing that happened."

They were both quiet, for a moment, until Lorelei snapped. "Hey, didn't you say she'd used the Type 95 in the battle before you talked to her? Could that… Johanna of Berun character have done something to-"

And the rest of her words washed over Viktoriya, because she'd put the pieces together. Her mind was screaming at her, begging her not to get hopeful, not to believe that she had a chance when she'd been brutally put down before, imploring her to focus on what Tanya's goals were. Tanya would do it all over again-

And her heart washed away all of her mind's protests in a cyclone of emotion.

It did, of course, fill her with a reminder that no matter how much she tried to deny it, she'd been in love with her for years and hadn't stopped being in love, even after rejection.

However, she was also, immediately, filled with an unquenchably limitless supply of hatred.

For the Bloody Valkyrie. For Schugel. For Being X. For that stupid, tiny ball of mechanical parts and-

Lorelei jumped back, frozen, for a moment, in the sea of killing intent being sent out from the woman in front of her. Her hands were shaking as if frostbitten, and the crackling of the air sounded like trees being uprooted by a monster.

Viktoriya spun around, and Lorelei moved. "Viktoriya? Are… where are you going? We haven't finished our conversation!"

She paid her no mind, moving mechanically towards her Type 97, slipping it on, and then rushing out of the room. Lorelei could barely keep up with her as she sped through the mansion-

In fact, she couldn't even see her. Lorelei could hear her just fine, though, as she clambered up a set of stairs-

She paused. Wait, their bedrooms were all on the second floor, which meant…

Viktoriya was headed for the attic, then? Why…

She shook her head and hurried after her. Their conversation was not over yet, not until she heard Viktoriya verbally acknowledge that there was a chance they'd be happy together.

Finally, she made her way up the stairs into the attic. She pushed open the door, pushing past the stacked up boxes blocking it to find Viktoriya opening…

She gulped. That box. She hadn't known what they'd done with it after Tanya's encounter with her far worse half, but this was it, apparently.

Hiding it away inside the mansion instead of doing something smart, like burying it or throwing it in a lake populated by an item-eating monster. She stepped forward-

Only to blink. Viktoriya was holding a knife, staring down at the Type 95. "You… you're the reason… it has to be…"

Lorelei walked beside her, looking between her and the knife and the piece of metal. "Are… you sure about this? Didn't you two decide to keep them here for a reason?"

Viktoriya's next sigh came out laced with tension and burning anger. "Yes… Tanya decided that she wasn't comfortable destroying it. Despite its influence on her, she'd rather have it on the off-chance she needs it for something big, like a General or Aqua or the Demon King himself. Despite everything it's done to her…"

She put the knife down. "Despite all of that, she decided to keep it. And," she added as Lorelei opened her mouth to speak, "We're aware that she is probably interfering with Tanya's thought process to make her more inclined to keep it. We just can't justify removing it…"

Lorelei raised an eyebrow. "She almost killed Lolisa. I'm sure that's-"

"Not enough," she said bitterly. Lorelei took a step back, affronted, and Viktoriya rose with a shrug. "If she had killed Lolisa… maybe we would have gotten rid of it. But even then, it's too powerful to just… throw out, especially if we need it later. We…"

Lorelei sighed. "Alright. Then why are you about to destroy it?"

With a hate-filled glare and a reinforced kick, she sent it at the wall. It bounced off, completely unharmed. "The other reason we're keeping it. We can't actually destroy it. Tanya thinks that taking it apart or letting the pieces degrade themselves might do it… but she's not sure if our mere intent to destroy it might alter it. She said that she once resolved to throw it in the Dnieper – a river in our world – and that the cord tying it to her neck began to choke her."

Lorelei stood there, silent, and Viktoriya walked to the corner of the attic, picking the thing up. "I just… this thing has stolen two years from me. I…"

She took a deep breath and stared into Lorelei's eyes, resolved. "I want to try again," she said with a smile on her face as she threw the thing into the box and slammed it shut.

They stood there, for a moment…

"Well, now what? How will you do it?" Lorelei asked. Viktoriya's face lit up, her mouth poised to answer…

And she deflated. "I don't have a clue… how am I going to-"

Lorelei cut her off with a raised hand and a smile. "Don't worry. I've got some… friends I can-"

"You mean, the Succubi? You don't exactly know that many other people besides us, much less people who could be considered friends-"

"Hey, stop saying stuff like that or I'll leave you to flounder. I have, after all, actually been in a successful relationship before."

"And how exactly did that end?"

With a groan, Lorelei turned towards the door. "Shut it. We'll do everything tomorrow. For now, I'd like to go to bed, if you don't mind."

She didn't of course, and they left the attic quickly. Viktoriya…

She would try again. And this time, there was nothing standing between her and Tanya von Degurechaff!

-OxOxO-

He breathed heavily. This was… degrading and humiliating. He was a Manticore, damnit!

He ducked into the entrance of the cave he used as his home, cursing as that damn Griffin continued to come after him.

He was a monstrous being, created by a Necromancer and a Demon working in tandem to bind pieces of dead animals, monsters, and Demons together.

With lithe bat wings taken from a Demon, he propelled himself through the sky using magic, only challenged by the likes of Griffins and Dragons.

With the body of a Giant Lion, he could powerfully swat away all nuisances, destroying any and all that dared to stand before him with razor-sharp claws and powerful muscles.

With the engorged tail of a Giant Scorpion, he could pierce the walls of a castle or the armor of a Hero Candidate with ease, poisoning all living matter and killing them in seconds.

And, with the head and mind of a human, he could think of new and creative ways to outwit opponents instead of throwing his power at them until they crumbled against the onslaught.

Despite his power, his prestige…

Despite the fact that he and his wife had been 'battling' a Griffin for control of this territory near a Podunk town called Axel, where no adventurer would be able to kill either of them…

Despite all of that, he was dying.

He struggled once again, grappling with the Griffin. Somehow, despite its ragged, torn wings and the many, many stings he had delivered to it, it still marched on, clawing at him and putting holes in his body with its beak.

With a mighty push from his front legs and tail, he sent it backwards, taking a breath. He looked towards his wife…

And, despite the fact that no one in Axel had ever been stupid enough to try and come into their 'contested' territory, his wife was being swarmed, not just by humans, but by animals and even other monsters. For every one – or five – she cut down with her claws or her weak magic or her tail, more appeared, stabbing and biting and even punching.

The Griffin pounced on him again, and he cursed as it bit into his shoulder, eliciting a howl of pain. HOW?!

Humans couldn't work together with monsters! Humans couldn't be so fearless as to simply ignore their own lives to take down a Manticore! A Griffin couldn't live with all of the poison coursing through it! How-

"Paralyze."

He felt tears being forced from his eyes. Despite the fact that he was a Manticore, he'd somehow been stopped by a single spell. It was impossible! It was-

"You two are quite a bit stronger than that Griffin, which means that it was a good idea to go after the beast first after all."

He tried to look down, and though he caught the barest glimpse of a dark cloak whipping in the wind, he couldn't see the face of his captor. His head wouldn't move.

"Indeed, when I first arrived in this world, the quest in Axel said that there was one Manticore fighting against a Griffin."

Slowly, he felt his paralyzed body being moved by… something. He couldn't tell what it was, but he could certainly tell that it wasn't anything even remotely human.

"I suppose that… since there are two of you, the Griffin never really presented a threat? If you wanted, you could have both taken it out, leaving you the uncontested owner of the territory you're both fighting over."

The things moving him dragged him forward, away from the front of his cave…

His eyes widened. His wife was in a similar position, being dragged forward towards a giant pit that hadn't been there only an hour earlier. And, thanks to his wife being in a similar situation, he now knew what was dragging him towards the pit.

Giant Worms, only… they didn't appear to be healthy. The few times he had been able to acquire them – he could only scavenge them off of humans, since they were too scared of him to dare exit the ground to fight – they tasted divine, and they didn't look… milky white.

He grimaced. In fact, seeing the inside of the worms made them look almost revolting as-

His train of thought was cut off as they were both shoved into the pit. He could feel the spell slowly wearing off-

But more of the eerily… off Giant Worms emerged from the walls of the pit, latching onto him with their four-pronged mouths. Ten, twenty, a hundred… more than he could count were biting down, along with some other monster that he couldn't see below him.

He moved his eyes deliberately, staring at his wife. As he stared at her helpless position, he felt his resolve building.

"Butterscotch! I swear, I will free you-"

He heard loud laughter from above him… and he tugged, pulling against the monsters sapping his life away, freed from the spell…

More of the humans jumped into the pit, moving around the monsters holding him down, climbing onto his body, and gripping his head. All the while, he struggled against the monsters…

But he couldn't get free. All of his strength was useless. His claws and body secured, his tail ineffective and subdued, his wings perforated, and his head locked in the grip of five humans.

"A… a Manticore, one of the most powerful monsters in all of Belzerg, is named Butterscotch!?"

"HEY!" he shouted indignantly, "How dare you?! Her name is Mera Loitier, one of the strongest Manticores to ever exist!"

"Nah, her name's Butterscotch, apparently," he said, snapping his finger as he finished the sentence. The Manticore felt his head being pushed upwards, and he scowled properly at their captor.

"That's my nickname for her you-"

He could now see the man staring down at him.

His eyes widened. No, not a man. He was an undead.

He seethed. Of course. The Griffin couldn't have survived his repeated stings without having venom resistance, and not having a functioning nervous system gave you a pretty big fucking resistance to neurotoxins.

He shook his head, studying the corpse standing over them. With stitches running through the exposed parts of his face and arms, the man bore a polished staff, was bound in a dark cloak, and…

He licked his lips. He didn't look half bad, actually. Even if he was undead, maybe he'd like to-

"And no, I'm not interested. I've had more than enough harassment from the likes of Sylvia, thank you…" the undead man shivered, and then he sighed again…

He flopped to the ground, sitting on the edge of the pit. Around it, monsters and humans – all of them he could now recognize as undead – sat down, resting, for a moment.

He grit his teeth. The indignity! The-

The Griffin curled up behind its undead leader, and the Manticore stopped trying to move, for a moment. He had to find a way to get out…

And, if he couldn't…

He sent a glance towards where he knew his wife was being held. He'd get her out. No matter what.

The man above them smiled again. "So, where were we… ah, right. You two could have killed the Griffin easily if you worked together, which means you let it live. No doubt, you didn't want the Guild in Axel summoning some competent, powerful adventurers from the capital to exterminate you both."

He shrugged. "A good plan, I guess. You even made sure to hide the fact that there were two of you… and, judging by that cave over there, the 'territory' that you two are fighting over is more than big enough to contain all three of you if you consider the caves and abandoned mines around here, huh?"

They said nothing, and the undead sighed. "Look, you two are going to die. I did my research, and the Demon King doesn't lack reading material. I know exactly how the two of you were likely constructed, and your likely weak points: seams where the disparate parts of your bodies are connected, as well as a bundle of nerves located somewhere in your body, so that your creators had a surefire way to kill you if you got out of control."

All through his speech, the Manticore tried to glare, to wiggle, to try and free even just his tail or a limb so that he might be able to free his wife. But…

The undead shrugged again. "So. If you two are going to die, and if I'm going to bring you both back… why not cooperate?"

They tilted their heads as much as the grip of the undead on his back allowed, and the man looked fondly at the Griffin. "The undead I have come across in the Demon King's army shun the practice of turning animals into undead soldiers. They don't last more than a month, they can't communicate verbally, it's not honorable, none of them can become more than an undead facsimile of their living selves while humans can upgrade… but I find them to be more than worth the extra effort."

He smirked down at them. "Could human undead create this hole? Perhaps. But not nearly as fast as undead monsters. Certainly not without being extraordinarily powerful, like myself."

"Hey, we don't give a fuck about you, toe rag," his wife said. He smirked at the undead lording over them…

And instead of any expected anger, he just shrugged. "I don't care. I'm practicing for… but I suppose that we should get to the real reason I trapped you instead of simply killing you and reanimating your corpses."

He stared at him. Was he…?

He shook his head, smiling down at him. "No, I'm not giving either of you two the option to live. No, I do know how to keep you two around for longer. So, for the next few hours, we're going to sit here. I'm going to learn everything about you, and then I'm going to use whatever regrets you have to make your grudges so powerful that maybe, just maybe, you'll stick around for more than a month. Maybe you two could even rise in the Demon King's army's ranks?" he said, weaving an image before the two of them with their words.

The Manticore spat on the ground. "Why do you think we're here, so far from the frontlines? It's-"

"To get away from the Hero Candidates?"

He scowled up at the boy, who didn't look the least bit perturbed by the look. The Manticore growled, "Not entirely. No, we were offered much the same as you have just offered us, and we don't want any of it. We'd much prefer a relatively peaceful existence, thanks."

He shrugged again. "Alright. You will be helping me in the coming battle… but I think, if you do well enough, I can get the two of you some land in the Demon King's domain to live your peaceful life."

They paused, suspicious. "You'd… do that?"

He rolled his eyes. "For services rendered? Sure. The Demon King would appreciate it."

"Well," he said with a wary look towards his wife, "I suppose I shall introduce myself. I am-"

"Wait a minute," the undead above them said, suddenly suspicious, "You aren't going to beg for your lives? Ask to be allowed to serve and keep living?"

He sent a skeptical look at the undead. "Would you let us?" he heard his wife ask, sure that she was sending him the exact same look.

"No, but-"

"Then let's get on with it, shall we?"

The undead shut up, and the Manticore smiled grudgingly. "Alright. I am Jake Leaza, Manticore, killer of humans, yada yada. Who're you? We've heard that the Demon King had a Dullahan, but you are clearly… not him."

The undead smiled. "Indeed. My name is Evan… the Undead Mage. I don't know a lot about my past…"

He glared at the ground, breathing heavily. "But I do know that, no matter what, I've got to kill Tanya von Degurechaff. She's killed my loyal troops, and though I know that one of the Demon King's men killed me… she has something to do with it too."

He clenched his fists. "And… even though I decided to ignore that the Demon King's forces killed me and work with him because Verdia convinced me and… what else is an undead supposed to do, and even though he ordered me to come to this castle and await word from Degurechaff…"

He smacked the ground, shaking with rage. "That loli bitch hasn't said a thing! She hasn't come by at all, she hasn't dropped off any letters… she even went over my head and used some weak ass Succubi to send a letter instead of me… but worst of all-"

He brought up a hand. "FIREBALL!"

A roaring orb of flames rocketed up into the air. All of the undead shied away from it, but he didn't, raging against a figure in his mind. "Every day… every day… it's one explosion after another after another…"

He chuckled, and he tried to glance at his wife. Perhaps they should keep struggling? This guy seemed pretty… unhinged…

He cut off that thought as he tried to stand up, only to be forced back to the ground by one of the Griffin's wings, immobilizing it in a protective grip against the side of its body. Still, Evan muttered, "Explosion, explosion, explosion… day after day, almost without end, she's been sending spells at my castle."

He glanced off to the side. "Is it a trick? A ploy to get me to attack, to kill me and take my place? It couldn't be anyone else – no idiot in this world would learn such magic, besides Wolbach and Wiz – so she must be getting at something, but what could I have done that equals what she's done to me-"

He sighed again, his anger deflated. "Whatever. Enough about my hold ups… though, I suppose you'll learn a lot in the next few hours. First, however…"

He grinned evilly as he leaned forward towards the pit, looking between the two of them. "What are your biggest regrets?"

They answered instantly.

"Not having as much sex as we could have."

Evan blinked, confused, and he grinned up at Evan. "Indeed. Though all monsters and Demons that have been cobbled together are extremely horny, we were both converted into these forms when we were lovestruck teenagers…"

He could hear the smile in Mera's tone. "Indeed… though both of us choose partners regardless of their gender, we haven't exactly been able to find many partners besides each other all the way out here. The drawbacks of isolating ourselves away from fresh meat."

He turned his head up to the Griffin. "You're… sure that they're worth the effort?"

Though it nodded and screeched, Jake could see a small flock of birds hovering around it, cawing loudly in return.

Evan sighed. "Jeez… I'll regret this… but keep going, I guess."

And so, their story unfolded, the wounds caused by the Undead Giant Worms and Giant Antlions slowly going numb along with the rest of the world as they faded away.

It would be a long night, filled with laughter, incredulity, sadness, nostalgia, and a longing on all of their parts for simpler times.

And by the time the night ended, Evan would be nearly ready.

-OxOxO-

Just as Lolisa was about to take off her clothing and get to work for her first morning shift – their customers might eventually sleep, but they came in at all hours in order to book their dreams – the door to their working area burst open, shocking the Succubi for a moment due to the loud noise.

They were then shocked for a longer moment as they realized that not only was Lorelei there, but Viktoriya was standing next to her, looking determined, resolute, and a million other words to describe a readiness to accomplish a goal.

The fact that she wasn't angry at them meant that she hadn't decided to do something rash like kill them before they could tell Tanya, but…

They looked at Lorelei…

She flashed them a thumbs up, a wicked smirk, and a cool nod of her head. Lolisa sprang to her feet. That meant one thing-

"It's party time! We're taking it easy today, girls!" she heard their leader shout. Lolisa cheered with the others as everyone else began to undress or head towards the backroom where they kept their extra food.

Lolisa trotted over to the two of them. Lorelei's blush was mild, and she didn't give off any feelings other than slight embarrassment, which were quickly replaced by the pride and sense of accomplishment she'd been feeling upon her entry to the room.

Viktoriya, by contrast, had a heavy blush and was certainly feeling no small amount of lust, which only made Lolisa's cheeky grin grow wider.

With a spritely jump over their shoulders, she landed next to the two of them, hooking one arm around the both of them, making sure to put more of her weight – and chest – on Viktoriya.

"It's great to see that you've finally realized you have a chance with her! What finally did it?" she asked, shifting her position and pressing herself into Viktoriya's body.

She felt another flash of lust, and she fought the urge to grin even more. These two were going to be the biggest source of lust in all of Axel. No one – not the merchants who wanted a reminder of the family and love they'd left behind to travel and sell their products, not the mourning widowers desperate for their long-gone paramours, and certainly not the nobles who hardly felt anything while fucking – would match them.

She blinked as Viktoriya's lust slowly drained away, replaced with happiness. Lolisa nearly audibly sighed – Succubi generally favored more positive emotions than most Demons – and though happiness wasn't her preferred emotion, it was still quite nice.

"Hey… what's with the change in emotion?" she asked pleasantly. Viktoriya just smiled disarmingly.

"Oh, nothing. I've just realized something else is all. I'll tell you about it later."

Lolisa nodded rapidly, now turning a smug expression towards Lorelei. "See? I told you we could pull it off."

Lorelei raised a skeptical eyebrow as the Succubi pushed the scattered tables littering the back room together, laying plates down on it and taking their seats. "Oh? We? I distinctly remember doing a whole lot… and you not doing much at all."

She shrugged. "Hey, we worked together. Who cares about how we got here? We're here now!" she said with a shout as she jetted off the ground and into a chair of her own.

They took their seats at the head of the table. The party began without a word from anyone, with everyone immediately speaking and talking and conversing. Viktoriya just sighed – it looked like they wouldn't get all that much planning done-

But then she listened to the conversations. Most… revolved around her. And Tanya. And stalking them while they went on their dates… that the Succubi were also planning.

Viktoriya raised an eyebrow, turning to Lolisa. "You know that I've got my own plans, right?"

All the conversation immediately stopped as they all stuck focused stares onto Viktoriya. "Oh?" Lolisa asked, "what did you have in mind?"

Viktoriya opened her mouth… only to stop short. What did she have planned?

Lolisa gave her a smug grin and a pat on the head. "See? Just leave everything to us. We're all a few hundred years old, so-"

"Actually, I do have a few plans. Tanya's birthday is in a week, after all. What better time than then?"

Lolisa stopped… before nodding. "Hmm. I suppose that will work…" she mused, some of the other Succubi backing her up.

"Hey, I've got a few ideas too! There's this really fancy restaurant that she's got planned for… but first, she has to do some reconnaissance with some of the other Reincarnates," Lorelei chimed in.

Once again, the conversation started. Now, instead of speaking with anticipation for their plans being carried out, the Succubi were all intensely curious, speculating about what Viktoriya would do.

Viktoriya meanwhile, made sure to focus on her happiness… and not on the idea of her revenge on the Succubi.

Sure, they'd helped her rekindle her feelings, but they'd also allowed 'Johanna' to take control of Tanya, which was, in a word, inexcusable.

Plus, they clearly were just as interested in tasting the emotions she and Tanya felt as much as they were in helping them feel better. So…

She had a plan for revenge. Lorelei wouldn't be suffering much – she had genuinely wanted to help because she felt indebted to them – so the only thing she'd be suffering from was a lack of sleep when Viktoriya and Tanya finally…

She blushed and smiled, placing a hand over her heart. She earned a fond look from a few Succubi paying attention… but if they knew what she had in store for them, they'd be absolutely horrified.

-OxOxO-

Letting out a sigh, Tanya pushed past the doors of the guild. As always, paperwork was the most mentally draining part of her job, but this paperwork felt even worse.

She wasn't doing something useful like filling out reports on the latest skirmishes between the forces under her command and the Communists. She wasn't looking over a company's file on the latest dunderhead she was going to fire later in the week. She wasn't even creating the paperwork needed to name the various roads of Axel.

No, instead, she'd been sending out dozens of letters. She'd had to handwrite every single one, each of them different depending on the person she was sending them to. The only things that had helped her were the fact that she wanted the same thing from all of them – to come to her birthday on the 25th of Horizontal Line – and that Alderp was heavily involved in the writing process.

He knew some of them better than their own mothers, which wasn't actually as hard as she might have thought, considering he'd been related to quite a few of them over the course of his various lives. Besides, she didn't really have a clue about how to interact with nobles formally – Revi was the only noble who'd even tried to coach her on how to act, and he'd quickly thrown out a lot of the 'unnecessary' parts that she had complained about offhandedly…

She frowned as she sank into a seat, and she sighed as Lorelei and Viktoriya sat down next to and across from her. She'd have to learn a lot for her party, wouldn't she?

For now, though, she was done. She was going to relax, have some kind of greasy food, and-

"Tanya! Just who I wanted to see!" Tanya frowned deeply and turned to find that Darkness was walking towards her, all disarming smiles and…

Tanya almost shivered. Darkness wasn't supposed to look so… cheery. Other kinds of happiness were fine and expected, like ecstasy, but cheery? That wasn't her.

Lorelei and Viktoriya both got up. "We'll leave you two be for now," they said, nearly simultaneously, as they…

Tanya stared at them as they abandoned her, her eyes narrowing. They had been acting… oddly ever since this morning when she'd been alerted by Shelly that they'd left earlier to attend to personal business.

Viktoriya wasn't acting nearly so protective as she had been over the past weeks either. That wasn't a bad thing, but she wondered what had sparked the change-

Only for Darkness to loudly clatter into the seat opposite of her, jolting her out of her thoughts and making her notice that Darkness's cheery facade had disappeared and left…

Tanya blinked. That was… a startlingly high amount of concern…

Then, Tanya blinked rapidly as she remembered why that might be. She still hadn't exactly explained to Darkness about the incident in 'Wiz's Magic Tool Shop' – it seemed Wiz had finally settled on a name for the place and put up a brightly colored sign above the doorway to match the new name – and she was probably…

"Who did it? My father will have them drawn and quartered within the hour."

Tanya began coughing violently. What…

She shook her head. The others must not have actually explained to her what happened in the shop… or what she'd gone through.

She nodded to herself. Well, at least they were taking Viktoriya's threat seriously, then. She looked up and motioned for Darkness to follow her. She wasn't going to risk anyone else knowing about this, and asking Luna for some private room or breakroom would be a good way to do that.

Meanwhile, Viktoriya was standing in front of Aya, Takashi, and Shizuka, her arms crossed and glaring down at them. They all looked extremely nervous, looking between her intimidating stance, Tanya, and the doors to the guild.

She sat down before they could make a move towards any escape or resistance. "I need your help."

"We're not doing paperwork."

"Yeah, go die. That was a horrible experience."

"You two are demons."

Though the three of them often fought and argued about a lot – most of it involving how they'd spend their money – the three of them had practiced their response to that question, should it ever come from Tanya, Viktoriya, or Lorelei.

Their eyes looked dead, their expressions were blank and doubtful, and not a single one of them gave any indication that there would be any argument.

Viktoriya didn't care. "Sure. Anything else you want to say before I start asking questions?"

Aya pouted petulantly, Shizuka whimpered nervously, and Takashi just sighed as he crossed his arms and glared at her. "No. What is it?"

Viktoriya opened her mouth… and she groaned, resting her head against the table. "I need some… advice."

Takashi raised an eyebrow. "What for? What could we know that you don't?"

"I… need to ask some questions about… Japan. Among… other things," she said, starting off easy. All three of them shot her questioning looks… but Aya leaned forward, curious. "What do you want to know that Tanya wouldn't?"

"She's hiding it from her," Shizuka, piping up from behind the shadow of a pillar holding up the ceiling. The other two blinked rapidly… and then they began smirking at her.

Viktoriya gulped as the blush on her face faded. "Well, dear sweet Viktoriya, what is it that you want to know?" Aya asked, smirking.

Nervously, she looked at Takashi. "Do you… Tanya told me you got a copy of a lot of her memories, right?"

Cautiously, he nodded. Viktoriya took a deep breath. "Then, look for a memory. Right after a fight with… her. It should be before the Balkans began attacking the south?"

He nodded, closing his eyes, taking a deep breath-

Then, he opened his eyes. "You want to go out with Rerugen? Is he here?"

Viktoriya blinked, confused. "Huh?"

Takashi nodded. "Yeah. She had promised you something she couldn't remember thanks to a… blank spot in her memories, and she figured out that you wanted to ask out Rerugen. She pushed you hard to make sure that you were absolutely sure that you wanted to, and when you decided against it, she realized that you weren't likely to be able to have a relationship like that without buckling under the pressure."

"What?!" she all but shouted. He still looked absolutely clueless, and she shook her head. "Who… who… of course not! I never even mentioned him! How did she…"

She growled, and Takashi scratched his head. Aya looked like she was about to burst out laughing, and Viktoriya struggled to resist the urge to strangle the woman – she likely kept up with the rumor mill more than Takashi, obviously – as Takashi tilted his head. "But then… did you meet some other officer during those card games? That was the only other-"

"Her. I want to fuck Tanya. Hard. Against any and all surfaces that might be considered flat. Including the ceiling."

And now that she'd said it out loud, she realized that it really was hard to try and arrange everything behind the scenes instead of bursting into Tanya's room as she was about to drift off to sleep, covered in chocolate, and declare her undying – and tasty – love for her.

Aya did burst out laughing now, at the look on Takashi's face, and at the embarrassment that Shizuka was feeling based on her face, and at the mortified look that had briefly flickered across Viktoriya's face.

Takashi struggled for several seconds, his hands flittering through the air and dragging the rest of his body with them as they worked with his face to convey every kind of confusion he could feel. Finally, after several seconds of sputtering, attempting to let out a coherent word, and generally being stupefied… he stopped all movement. "I don't get it."

Viktoriya raised an eyebrow, and Takashi began. "She… well, I can tell you with certainty that she returns the feeling."

Viktoriya's world stopped. She couldn't think, she couldn't breathe, and she certainly couldn't hear the people who'd stopped talking about something or other and who were now shaking her.

Why hadn't she thought of this before? It was so stupidly easy and convenient – he didn't want to have Tanya memories, but he did thanks to the power he had chosen. So, why hadn't she just asked him?

Someone else was calling her name, and their voice sounded somewhat familiar, so she focused her vision and found that Lorelei was looking into her eyes worriedly. Viktoriya blinked, took a deep breath…

And she grinned. She'd beat herself up about not asking him for help – maybe she should start blaming Being X for this stuff more often? That worked for Tanya… or maybe she was too concerned with trying to ignore it that she hadn't considered the obvious – but she'd do that later. Now, she was going to get work done and feel… exceedingly happy.

She turned to the three Reincarnates. "Uhm…" she began eloquently, "what were you saying?"

Takashi blinked. "Uhh… are we just going to ignore that look-"

"Yes."

He stared at her, and then he sent an unsure look at his friends. The three of them just shrugged. "Uhh… right. I was just saying that she does return your feelings-"

Viktoriya took in a deep breath and grinned widely. Takashi sent a glance towards Shizuka that she could understand without words, apparently.

Aya had no trouble saying what was on their minds. "You're acting… well, weird would be pretty tame as a descriptor, so I'll go with creepy," she said, casting a judging look onto her.

Viktoriya shrugged, unconcerned, and looked back at Takashi. He nodded slowly. "Right… well, she contemplated the idea of… well, for lack of better words, being in love. With you. And… she dismissed the idea as impossible."

Viktoriya felt an eye twitch violently. "Why?"

He shrugged. "Well… for one, she didn't think you were all that interested-"

"Why not?" she ground out. Had she not spelled out, to her, that she wanted to have a relationship? How-

Again, he shrugged. "Well, you didn't really try to hook up with anyone for years. She assumed that you were… uninterested? Something like that… anyway, the only time you ever really talked about the idea seriously was when you – apparently – tried to hook up with her. After she thought you wanted to get with Rerugen and subsequently broke down to her attempts to discourage you, you never mentioned it again, so she assumed… you were going through a phase?" he tried.

He grimaced. "Her memories get a lot more muddled the closer towards the end they get, besides…" he trailed off quietly, and Viktoriya sighed again, massaging her head.

"Okay… fine. She thought I wasn't interested. Was that it?"

He slowly shook his head. "Well, another minor reason that she never seriously considered it was that… she assumed that her hormones were impacting her decision making skills, and she really didn't want to do something stupid because she was going through puberty."

Viktoriya opened her mouth… only to close it again with a huff. Fine. That was a reason she could accept without any anger.

He nodded one last time. "The largest reason, however, was that she didn't think that there were gay people."

All five of the people listening to him blinked, before letting out various sounds of confusion.

Viktoriya blinked. Wait, five? She scanned the area with an Observation Spell…

She growled, spinning around to find that the scumbag was listening in from a table over. He quickly got up, but she gripped his shoulder.

"Hey hey hey hey, that hurts! You- you're more of a gorilla woman than Darkness-"

She slammed him into the wall. "Shut up. I don't care. Aqua will heal you."

She stared at him for a moment, and then…

She began to growl as his eyes wandered down and around and all over her body. "Kazuma-"

"Hey, you won't really hurt me."

Viktoriya raised an eyebrow, and Kazuma nodded, smugly smirking. "Yep! See, I figured out what to do with that tidbit of knowledge I know about you and her."

Viktoriya raised another eyebrow, and his smile transformed from a smirk to a full-blown, scum-ridden grin. "You're obviously planning to tell her in some kind of celebration, right? Darkness said she was going to her party – are we invited too? – so I assume it'll be then. Anyway, it'd suck if someone told her the truth, wouldn't it?"

Viktoriya chuckled. "As if she'd believe you-"

"Not normally," he admitted… but then he shrugged, grinning again. "But hey, she'd threaten me with bodily harm for trying to trick her, and then I'd say I wasn't lying, and then I'd get Aqua to back me up and reveal just how much Heaven's been stopping you two."

Viktoriya's eyes narrowed… and she realized that Tanya would probably force Gerrard to give her one of those bells to get him to tell the truth, at which point…

She growled again, her grip tightening. "And if I make you disappear for a week?"

He scoffed. "Oh please. You wouldn't break the law."

Viktoriya raised an eyebrow, and Kazuma tittered nervously. "Ah, well, Megumin and Aqua would raise a big fuss if I disappeared suddenly, and if Degurechaff figured out that you kidnapped me… or something, she'd realize that something was up."

Viktoriya thought it over. With a sigh, her grip slackened somewhat, and he chuckled again, his confidence back in full. "Hehe! Anyway, I was thinking that I'd get a few things from you!"

In the end, the list wasn't long. Unfortunately, it was expensive.

One million Eris, a 'Get Out of Jail Free' card – like the ones from that 'Guilds and Properties' game she'd played in a few of the more unconventional gambling dens – that he'd be able to redeem whenever he wanted, and the right to ask her to teach him a skill whenever he wanted.

She'd managed to argue him down from an even more outrageous deal, but she had a feeling this was all that he had wanted in the first place and that the request to see her in a maid outfit was just to piss her off.

She spun away from him… and realized that the other four people she had been talking to were all staring at her. She sighed again, sank into her seat, and motioned for Takashi to continue.

"Anyway… yeah, she didn't think there would be any gay people in the Empire."

Viktoriya almost immediately felt her soul shriveling up at that statement. Right. They'd been talking about that.

Once again, Viktoriya sighed tiredly. "But… how? It's not as if she didn't know they existed, so…"

Takashi shrugged. "Something about… society not accepting the idea, and therefore most people simply choosing not to express themselves and settling for things they didn't like in order to retain good standing in society."

"What an idiot."

Everyone turned and looked towards Aya, who shrugged unapologetically. "I mean, Berlin had one of the highest concentrations of gay people on the planet before the Nazis came in and-"

Viktoriya stood up. "Right, those guys! She talked about them a few times and how they killed a lot of civilians! How couldn't she remember that they were persecuted?"

Again, Aya shrugged. "I dunno. It isn't exactly a widely known fact that the Nazis persecuted homosexuals."

"How do you know?" Shizuka asked, confused. Aya blinked, thought for a moment, and then nodded. "Well, when I took that German class back in school, there was a history element to it, and my teacher educated the class on it. I browsed Wikipedia on my own a bit too in my off time."

While they conversed, Viktoriya was just out of it… and then she remembered the original reason she'd even come.

"Right, I wanted to ask you three about… like, stuff that people in Japan do when they're trying to… court each other," she said breathlessly. They all blinked, looked at each other…

And they nodded. "Sure. We'll be charging you for it, but we'll help," Aya said. Takashi wordlessly nodded his head, while Shizuka smiled. "This might even be fun!"

Viktoriya sighed in relief. Tanya would be finished with Darkness any moment now, which meant…

She spun around. Kazuma, Megumin, and Aqua were all talking to each other – she heard 'followers,' 'Alcanretia,' and 'hot springs' mentioned a few times – while Tanya and Darkness chatted – Tanya had probably finished talking to her about how she'd nearly been violated. She cracked her knuckles.

She needed Aqua for something. And it had nothing to do with her agreement with Kazuma.

-OxOxO-

A/N 1: Season 2 is confirmed! LET'S GO! YEEHAW!

Ahem.

Well, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I'm currently taking notes on the entirety of the KonoSuba Light Novels and creating a timeline – I'm at Volume 15, but I've also got the Dust spinoffs, the Masked Spinoff, and the Continued Explosions spinoffs to catalogue. That is the reason that I haven't been responding to comments.

It's definitely not because I'm lazy (not entirely, anyway).

Regardless, thank you all for reading this. We're nearly there – It'll happen in Chapter 43. Look forward to it!