Third Time's the Charm

by SugarcaneSoldier

Dying again was much more painful the second time for Tanya von Degurechaff, but what came after was intriguing, to say the least, and she was nothing if not opportunistic. Taking the opportunity presented by Aqua would expand her opportunities by much more than she could have dreamed possible… but why did the good have to come with so much insanity!

43. Magic Works

Kazuma was having a really bad day.

He'd thought he'd be set! He had lots of money from blackm- err, 'making an agreement' with that Serbayakof chick, and he'd even gotten a bit of cash from helping to kill that Undead Mage- he didn't have a bounty on him like the Demon King's Generals, but the reward for helping to save the town was more than enough.

Plus, after that undead had called Darkness a 'noble' and they had figured out she had loads of money and, more than that, an actual house, he and Aqua could couch-surf if the weather got too bad and they couldn't find somewhere better to stay in a few weeks.

Of course, he had dared the universe by declaring such out loud. Afterward, he found out that Aqua had used all of his money – and how could he have been so stupid as to allow his money out of his gaze and into her money-grubbing hands? – to purchase winter gear that was admittedly necessary, along with the finest alcohol she could get her hands on from some place called the Blonde Pixie.

With the snow coming in, a quest had been posted requesting someone kill 'Snow Sprites,' which would cause Spring to come earlier. One encounter with the personification of the winter – which took a surprisingly familiar form due to other Reincarnates – and here he was, back in that void.

And, to top it all off, he'd just cried – just a tiny, little bit, in a way that definitely wasn't pitiful – in front of this melancholy Goddess with green eyes, silvery hair, and wearing purple and white clothing that reminded him of an actual priest – nothing like what that stupid, idiot not-Goddess wore.

"Ah… are you okay now?" she asked, her eyes full of sadness. Kazuma averted his gaze-

"Hey, it's nothing to be ashamed of. You lost your precious life after all…"

Kazuma thought, for a moment, that he heard her mumble something after that – had she mentioned 'skills' and 'Thief' – until he dismissed the thought. A girl like this wouldn't have any need to mutter under her breath.

She smiled beatifically. "Kazuma Satou. You came from peaceful Japan and encountered something like this… Brave soul who came from another world, I will use my power to let you reincarnate in peaceful Japan to a wealthy family and live a free life."

Thoughts swirled through his head, and he felt a pang of longing shoot across his face at the thought of his friends…

"Hey, KAZUMA! Would you come back already? How could you die in a place like this? Hurry up and come back!"

In Kazuma's confusion, he didn't see Eris sigh in realization. "Oh, right… with all the work that's been going on…"

Kazuma listened to Aqua for a few more moments before turning to Eris. "Ah, Lady Eris, Aqua-"

She waved away his words with a smile. "Yes, I know. And, knowing her, she won't take no for an answer, so I'll have to break the rules to allow you to go back, making even more paperwork…"

She trailed off with another sigh, and Kazuma felt a kinship with this Goddess. It seemed they were both acquainted with cleaning up after Aqua…

Eris cleared her throat. "Alright. Ah, but before you go, I'd like to speak with you a bit."

Kazuma's eyes widened in surprise, but he nodded happily and sat back down. "Now… my first question is why haven't you been acting on your contract?" she asked.

He tilted his head. "What do you mean? I can't really do that much – I've only got Aqua, how can I kill the Demon King?" he said, though Eris didn't look all that surprised.

"No, not that part. I completely understand not being able to fight the Demon King with Aqua at your side. No, I was referring to the part about killing the Atheist? Shouldn't you take care of a Demon like that who's so close at hand? You remember that you can't back out of your contract, correct?" she asked, insistent.

He shrugged his shoulders. "Hey, she's got a gun. No matter how different our Luck is, there's no way I can get around that… or, if her friend takes some shots at me, since she's actually got decent Luck. Besides, she's the Governor or something, and that part of the contract is optional, right?"

Eris's smile had become pretty strained, from where he was sitting, so he cut himself off after that. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I could kill her unless she tried to kill me first… she's a person, after all."

One of Eris's eyebrows twitched and her eyes flew open. "She has killed 6527 people. Could a person do that?"

Kazuma blinked. Once. Twice.

Huh?

Kazuma licked his lips. Eris seemed somewhat-

And then, the girl sighed. "Jeez, sorry. I'm just… concerned. It's been really hard trying to find someone to get rid of her, especially with what's coming- But enough of that! Is there anything you'd like to say before I send you back to your friends?" she asked, the annoyance and pain in her eyes gone.

Kazuma shook his head, and she smiled once more as the world around him began to light up once more. "Uhm… two things. Firstly, can you please tell Ms. Serebryakov that, according to my superiors, she can confess if she wants, but that there'll be a price?"

He nodded slowly, and she smiled again. "Great! Um… regardless of whether you're a king or an adventurer, you're only supposed to get one chance to reincarnate…"

Kazuma was distracted for a moment as he began to float into the air.

"Mr. Kazuma?"

His gaze snapped back down to Eris. Sorrow hiding in her eyes, the Goddess asked in a cheerful voice, "Uhm... Could you please keep this a secret?" while scratching her cheek.

He smiled awkwardly as his vision whited out.

And as his eyes shot open, and he found out his head was resting in Aqua's lap, that Darkness was praying, and that Megumin was sobbing into his chest, he began to think about that Goddess.

Even as they got up to their usual antics and got their money – which was a lot, but not enough to be killed over – he wondered about her.

She was an alluring beauty, much like his other party members, and her personality didn't seem to be warped beyond comprehension like the other three…

Perhaps she was the first person he'd met who could be a viable love interest since coming to this world? The clowns behind him discussing the Snow Sprite Aqua had saved certainly didn't count, and while Tanya and Viktoriya might have counted – though, they certainly fit the role of anti-heroines or reformed enemies better – they were pining after each other.

Of course… the way Eris had talked about Tanya was a bit concerning… but that didn't mean Eris wasn't a viable love interest, right? She worked for Heaven, and Heaven wanted Tanya dead – for an obvious reason, since she'd killed over six thousand people – so it was probably just professional interest… right?

Yeah! His Luck was great, after all, so what were the chances that the sixth girl that might possibly be a love interest for him would turn out to be crazy?

He looked back at the other three, and they focused their attention on him.

"…Sigh."

"HEY!"

-OxOxO-

Viktoriya was at her wits end. Though much of the end of last night was a blur, several things weren't – including her intention to get things over with and confess to Tanya early.

The last thing she'd done to try and convince her without actually saying the words was bathing together – but Tanya had invited along Lorelei and said it would be a good team bonding exercise. She had been tempted to reveal it with Lorelei there and decided against it, something she regretted now.

Breakfast? Tanya had drank her coffee and eaten her potato pancakes without a second glance, missing the 'I Love You' spelled out in cream and syrup, respectively. The compliments about her cooking had been appreciated, but they were also oddly grating.

Relaxing on a snow-covered hill and staring up at the sky? The 'I Love You, Tanya Degurechaff' she'd practiced for all night and spelled out in the sky had been blown away by the aftershocks of an Explosion spell. It had been nice to relax – and to hold her hand while they did so – but her annoyance mounted.

Lunch? Eating some potato hash she had made while planning to confess, Viktoriya had been stopped by her accidentally eating an out-of-season potato before Tanya had realized that they were all out of season – though the laugh they shared about their memories was pleasant, her annoyance with the 'incidents of pure coincidence' was now anger.

And all through the day, more 'coincidental' things had happened too – Crows had chased them for the first half of the day, while those ruffians that had tried to accuse Kyouya of plotting to assassinate Tanya had ambushed them – trying to 'apologize' while also spouting off about some very questionable ideas about 'lolis' – forcing them to detour to talk to Gerrard about it.

Now, they were heading home. "With all of this that is happening… something must be going on! This much on the same day couldn't be a coincidence, so Being X or Eris or whoever must have something to do with it… we need to get back. Sorry, Viktoriya."

She sighed…

Her eyes crashed open. No!

Viktoriya clothed herself in her emotions.

Anger and frustration from the day stabilized her arms, quieting the nervous twitching as she clenched her fists.

The longing she'd felt for two years moved her feet, shifting her so she was staring down into Tanya's eyes.

Her passion welled up in her throat, preparing her for the moment. She was doing this!

She gripped Tanya on the shoulders, taking only a moment to admire her face and the half-annoyed, half-questioning expression. Was that a hint of anticipation she saw?

"Tanya, I-"

"HEEEEYYYY, TANYA!"

As she felt herself falling to the ground, Viktoriya realized a disheartening fact: her emotions and innate strength were no match for Dust drunk out of his mind.

"Thank you so much, Governoress! I can forget my awful life thanks to your Degurenbrew! And Bill gives such good prices!"

Of course, Viktoriya also learned that the anger she felt about being constantly thwarted was nothing compared to the all-consuming wrath she felt as Dust planted a smooch on Tanya's lips.

Anger. Standing. Swing back right leg, and-

"GRAAAAAA!"

"AAAAAUUUUUGGHHHHH!"

She breathed in and out heavily as she watched Dust fly up, up, and onto the roof of some nearby building.

As he landed, she could hear him crying, undoubtedly due to the fact that she'd kicked Dust as hard as she could right in the nuts.

The shoe of an enraged Aerial Mage being spurned due to the interference of higher powers did not, as you might expect, feel like having a sledgehammer swung into your balls at speed.

It hit much, much harder.

"Uh… Viktoriya?"

Her gaze cracked towards Tanya's voice… and she took a deep, calming breath. Tanya had looked, for a single moment, just a tiny bit scared.

"Yes. Are you okay, Tanya? Do you want me too…" she said, trailing off with a glare as she gazed to where Dust had landed – he couldn't be heard, so he might be unconscious.

For now.

Tanya shook her head. "No, that's fine! In fact, let's go up there and make sure that he's alive. I'll heal him as best I can, and then we can take him to the hospital, and hopefully, he won't press charges – though we could counter that with his assault upon myself…"

As Tanya began to mutter to herself, they did just that, and Viktoriya didn't try to confess once, no matter how much she wanted to – if Dust interrupted this time, who would interrupt next?

-OxOxO-

Now, Viktoriya was in the Blonde Pixie, drinking. How would she do it?

She hadn't thought about Being X and Heaven. If they'd stopped them from acting on their feelings for so long, and if they could arrange things so that she couldn't confess when she was actively trying, how would she confess tomorrow?

A better question was how they'd stop her. Security was tight, so it would either have to be another noble trying to court her – infuriating – or some kind of threat to the entire town – infuriating and dangerous.

She moped, hunching down so she could rest her head on the bar and stare into the bottle of beer she had been drinking as Tanya's words from years past came to her again.

'Then you haven't thought very hard'

She fought tears with a mirthless chuckle. Once again, she hadn't thought hard enough. Sure, she now knew, for a fact, that if she asked in blunt terms, Tanya would say yes. But…

She hadn't considered her surroundings. If Heaven had spent so long keeping them apart, then, regardless of what Being X had promised in that room they had rented before heading to the capital, it stood to reason that-

"Huh? Oh, you're the… Serebayakofu, right?"

She turned her somber visage to her right to see Kazuma. She raised an eyebrow, and he continued to slur his speech.

"Eh… I died earlier today, and Eris wanted me to pass you a message… said that the, uh… her boss or something, so… Being X, maybe? Yeah, you can confess on schedule, but there'll be consequences… sounded ominous…"

As spun around, wobbling, her eyebrows knit as she felt slightly disgusted. She wasn't sure if she'd caught all of that – had he said he'd died? – but she still nodded, only to go back to staring at her beer.

So, Kazuma said Eris said Being X said she could, but could she, really? What would the consequences be? Would Tanya even love her after the consequences happened? Would they-

"HEY!"

She turned, both eyebrows raised. He was still there…

And looking a touch more sober too. He sat down heavily next to her – as Bill eyed Kazuma, questioning Viktoriya with his eyes if he should remove him since she'd asked to be left alone, she shook her head-

When he slung an arm around her shoulder, she contemplated asking Bill to get rid of him after all.

The unimpressed look she shot his head with convinced him to talk fast. "So… I- I once had a girl, and she… she was so, sooooo, so nice, but then she ditched me. Are you gonna let someone like that Lorelei or Darkness get to Tanya first?"

Viktoriya sneered at him. "They aren't-"

"Doesn't matter, idiot! What if some looker comes in and gets her first? Are you gonna let her get taken by some sleazy harlot?"

"…No?"

"Are you gonna back down right at the crucial moment?"

"No."

"Are you gonna snatch defeat from the jaws of victory?"

"No!"

He nodded once, and Viktoriya raised an eyebrow, surprised at him. She hadn't thought he could give good advice-

"Good! Go home, and get sleep, and knock her socks off, and have lots of yuri sex after-"

She punched him in the face – she didn't know what exactly 'yuri' was, but the implication that it had something to do with sex and that he might have imagined them doing it was enough to earn a fist to the face – and he went sprawling. She marched out of the building.

She was! She'd do it, and if there were consequences… she'd face them with her head held high and beg Tanya for forgiveness if it came to that!

Tomorrow! Tomorrow, she'd tell Tanya the truth while they danced during their party, while she stared into Tanya's majestic eyes…

She sighed. She'd manage.

-OxOxO-

He snickered as He gazed down at the girl, watching her thoughts bloom and blossom as she trudged home in the cold. He'd had His fun, laughing His ass off and messing with her all day with Eris's help at a few points, and now, He…

He sighed tiredly. It was coming closer… would they be-

"Worrying about The Anniversary?"

He smiled as He turned towards one of His oldest friends. "Gautama, you wouldn't believe how fun it was to watch her get angry…"

The man – for he had decided to look like a young, bald man clad in nothing but an ochre robe for the moment – merely raised an eyebrow. He scowled at Him.

He scoffed. "Oh please, don't give me that look. It might not have been the most… prominent part of my plan to convert Degurechaff, but it was an integral part to ensuring she didn't find some other source of spiritual strength," He said defending His actions.

As the man opened his mouth, He added, "Plus, this is the last time I'll be able to do stuff like this. I won't get a chance to taunt them – either of them – with a possible relationship. I've got to get what I can take!" He said, waiting for a reaction.

"Although…" he said, trailing off as he looked back down towards the world. That Prince had a crush on her, right? And didn't one of the male adventurers in Axel like her too? What was his name, Jesse? Or was it…

When Gautama's only reaction to His justification for His actions was to scrunch up his face as if preparing for an onslaught, He scowled.

"Why do you continue to try to convert her? It can't be done."

"She can be," He snapped back, turning an eye down to the world Aqua and Eris's followers inhabited. The girl in question had long since recovered from being kissed by that Dust fellow, and she was now attempting to figure out why exactly Viktoriya seemed so… off recently – as well as the reason for her overreaction to Dust.

He snickered. He wondered if she would figure it out, or if Serebryakov would have to spell it out. Maybe even-

"Fine. If you manage to convert her, the method you use wouldn't be applicable on a mass scale due to the loss of mana… or with methods you are comfortable with on such a scale."

He sighed. That… was probably true.

"Why? This… I'm sure she'd love to give you a speech about the sunk-cost fallacy, if you've somehow forgotten something despite your power."

He tuned the majority of the words out, focusing on the only one that mattered.

Why?

That was the question, wasn't it? And it didn't just apply to that damnably incorruptible girl.

Why couldn't worlds and galaxies and universes stay religious? No matter how diligent His followers were or how long He managed to push it, regardless of how many thousands or hundreds of thousands or millions or billions or trillions of years religion managed to stick around, faith eventually died down to levels where they couldn't get mana out of it, if religion continued to exist at all.

It didn't matter if it was in thousands or millions or billions of years. It didn't matter if the world was magical or not. It didn't matter if they were completely free of Hell's influence or close enough to Hell for regular, large scale interaction.

Why? Why? Why?

He breathed out. "Why do I need their faith in the first place?" He asked the question not just to Gautama, but to Himself.

Because… that was how it had always been. Because He needed it to fight against Hell.

"With faith, we grow stronger. With strength, we can uplift the humans and make their lives just the smallest fraction better." He spoke so assuredly…

He breathed in. Yes, that was… it, wasn't it? The beginning – when it was just himself and whatever He could create – hadn't been relevant for a long, long time, and thanks to the actions he had taken, Heaven and Hell would never meet in any meaningful way unless He wanted them to, for whatever unimaginable reason.

A spike through His head. A thousand, millions, billions of voices, all calling out in His mind in His voice. Pacifism. Jingoism. Nihilism. Monochromatic. Kaleidoscopic. War. Peace. Conquest. Forgiveness. Revenge. Victory. Defeat. Good. Evil.

Nothing.

He suppressed the urge to cry out, to scream, to break down as Eris had. He summoned power to His hands.

Power to give birth to new possibilities, power to destroy.

He gripped His head, wrapping the power around it, and the voices quieted.

"It's starting to get worse again, then?"

"That… that fiend. She's making me rethink everything…"

"Then… perhaps we should-"

"NO! Not… not yet. After The Anniversary…"

He could hardly finish the thought. Soon, the forces of Hell would not be banging at Heaven's door. No, during the Anniversary…

It would continue. Traitors would be punished. In a trillion years, they'd do it again.

And again.

And again.

He didn't know if He could. To see people He considered friends and associates desperately-

He couldn't do this. Not again.

This was the last one. He'd find a way to stop it. He had to.

-OxOxO-

Tanya tried not to groan. There had been weeks of preparation put into this thing, and the headaches it was causing were not worth it.

She'd have a quieter, more secret birthday next year, and every year afterwards. Going through so much trouble just to have a party, was it even worth it to be a noble…

She looked up at Alderp, who was laughing at her expense. He was not her first choice of companionship – he ranked just above… Aqua, and barely below Dust – but Lorelei, Viktoriya, and all of the servants were in a tizzy trying to finish everything.

And Tanya? Oh, instead of being able to utilize her skills to finish this thing faster, everyone she had tried to talk to – from Viktoriya to Shelly to even the cooks – had refused her help and said something about 'birthday girls on their seventeenth birthday,' even though her actual birthday had been weeks ago and this was just the party.

When Alderp continued to laugh, she glared at him and he quieted down. "Now, I did have a few things I wanted to mention. The nobles that you 'worked' with?"

He nodded. "Right. Like I explained before Viktoriya spirited you away, just mention how I made sure to document everything meticulously. The rumors about how much emphasis I placed on documentation and bureaucracy, despite how much of it I… evaded," he said, scowling at her raised eyebrow, "will ensure that they think that you have blackmail on them, which you do."

She nodded… and then she scowled. That was one thing dealt with, but…

"What's on your mind, milord?" he asked, only being half-facetious. She rolled her eyes at him and explained.

"Over the past few days, Viktoriya has been acting… strange, and I'm concerned." Honestly, concerned didn't begin to cover it, and though everything could be explained away as her making sure Tanya had the best party ever, as the 203rd's officers had promised… getting an outside perspective was useful.

He nodded, and Tanya began to explain. The past few days…

How Viktoriya had insisted she shouldn't work.

How Viktoriya had prepared a bento box and let her win a few games of 'Ett!' before crushing them all in a brilliant display of tactical prowess.

How they had flown through the clouds and enjoyed each other's company and discussed… things. How she had hidden her dress from Tanya, and how Lorelei had mentioned bad luck and implied marriage as justification. How the truth of the Axis Cultist comments she had been getting were euphemisms for being homosexual.

How they had snuggled close to the fire. How they had gone drinking together and sung karaoke.

How, at every turn, something 'unlucky' had happened yesterday, including Dust kissing her on the lips, and Viktoriya's increasing ire, leading to her kicking Dust in the balls so hard they both… burst.

All the while, Alderp's reactions informed Tanya of his opinions before he spoke of them. At first, he was just nodding along, but then he had been… aghast? Then, after he'd finished wincing like every other male in a sixty kilometer radius had due to Dust's plight that day, he had seemed pensive.

He eyed the walls of his cell, and she raised her eyebrows. What was-

"Well Tanya, I think that it's quite obvious that-"

RUMBLERUMBLERUMBLERUMBLE

The world around them shook, and though Tanya quickly stabilized herself, Alderp was already calm, nodding his head… as if he had expected an earthquake?

Tanya cleared her throat. "Are earthquakes… common around here? If they aren't, it's probably just that crazy Crimson Demon."

He raised an eyebrow at her and shook his head. "I'm sorry, Degurechaff… But I know when to take a hint! I didn't look gift horses in the mouth often, especially when they were sent by the Gods! If you can't figure it out yourself, you probably don't deserve to know anyway!"

She glared at him. "Alderp, if you don't tell me…"

Fear returned to his eyes… and he sighed. "Hey hey hey… I don't think it means anything bad, especially considering what you've told me…" She took a threatening step forward, and he gulped. "Fine, I'll tell you what I think it means… tomorrow." He looked around, as if expecting another earthquake. When one didn't come, he nodded again, more assuredly.

She sighed. Fine, if he wanted to play games, she'd play – and she'd make him regret it, too.

She left soon afterwards. There were things to do-

And she soon found herself surveying the results of their work. If she wouldn't be allowed to help, she would at least oversee.

The servants were bustling about, arranging and tidying and ensuring everything looked just right. The cooks had come to her, and she had nodded at what they were going to prepare to eat – they found the food she had shown them how to cook odd, of course, considering its Japanese origin, but they were good enough that they didn't question her.

Security, too, was tight. The guards she had hired for the mansion had been supplemented by some police as well as some of the guards that patrolled Axel. Some adventurers were also helping to guard the place, courtesy of Viktoriya-

Which was another thing. Why had she done that? Did she suspect that the defenses already in place weren't enough, and if so…

What did she know that Tanya didn't?

And speaking of Viktoriya… where was she? She'd seen Lorelei earlier, but she hadn't seen Viktoriya… it was concerning, especially since she would appreciate her advice or presence with how hectic things were, as well as an explanation for her actions.

Regardless, however, she still needed to prepare – she needed to make time to deal with any last-minute problems, and she had a few bits of unrelated paperwork that Lorelei hadn't gotten around to.

She would, however, get answers eventually. The party was later, and Viktoriya would have no way to bow out and avoid questioning.

She nodded. Yes, while everything wasn't exactly to her liking, but things were still-

-OxOxO-

Aaaaand her suit was different.

Not… in a bad way? But… it was white and black instead of black and white. The pants and coat and tie were now an incandescent white, while the undershirt and gloves were now black. It still looked good – better, even – but-

It hadn't been that way before!

She shot a look at Lorelei with all the destructive power of a bullet to the brain, but the woman stood strong, smiling self-assuredly.

"Why?" she asked.

Lorelei… she had the gall to smirk. "I wanted it to be a surprise, of course. If you're going to wear a suit despite being a girl, you might as well go all-in and stand out more than anyone else."

Tanya simply sighed. She didn't usually like surprises, but this one was nothing really-

"Besides," she added, "Viktoriya mentioned how she wanted a 'knight in shining armor' to save her at the beginning of your war, and you've got a lot of nicknames that generally relate to being light."

Tanya raised an eyebrow. "And this was all you could do?" she asked jokingly.

Lorelei glared at her. "Actually, it's possible to weave Mithril into clothing, which would render you both stylish and pretty defenseless."

Tanya only nodded slowly. Well… the fact that Lorelei had had that thought in her head at all was somewhat concerning – but that was also a good piece of information if she needed to restrain, say, someone who claimed to be a goddess…

Though, would it even work on Aqua? She opened her mouth again-

"The other suit was torn up. I could recreate it… in a day or two," she said, smugly. Tanya just shook her head and began to put on the… costume. Things were starting soon, and she didn't really dislike it enough to try to find something else suitable to wear.

-OxOxO-

Tanya took a deep breath. She and Lorelei were standing behind a door that led down the grand staircase into the remaining ballroom.

She had thought that it was a big waste of space, but she knew that a certain amount of self-aggrandizing was expected of any noble, making it useful in isolated instances when she might need to arrange parties like these.

The guests had arrived, and both Walter and Alderp had explained that she shouldn't be there to begin with – Iris's presence at the beginning of her own party was an exception, not the rule. Walter greeted people who came in, and now, they were waiting.

Lorelei was trying not to freak out.

"I know what you said, but… but what if they make my life difficult? Or what if-"

Tanya cut her off. "For the last time, Lorelei, they won't do that! You're coming in next to me, which means they know that you are of great importance to me. If they still decide to insult you…"

She smiled widely. "Well, just remember their names or their faces, and I'll punish them accordingly. While personal insults don't mean someone deserves to be demoted, an inability to at least conceal their feelings means that they're obviously not mature enough to work in government. I could make life for them slightly more inconvenient until they apologize, publicly."

Lorelei nodded. Yes, that made sense-

"Now, where's Viktoriya?"

Yes, also another sensible question. "She-"

And Lorelei stopped there and leveled a condescending eyebrow at Tanya, who merely sighed. "Now, now, you need to wait before your gifts."

As Tanya's face showed some heartening befuddlement, Lorelei smirked. She wouldn't spill that she was still getting ready, but, mostly, she was waiting for the perfect time to come in and wow Tanya.

As Tanya decided that maybe she should utilize some of those advanced interrogation techniques she'd trained the 203rd with to give Lorelei a similar amount of resistance, the voices in the other room stopped as the loud sound of an instrument announced the arrival of the 'introducer' who announced people's arrival to the party.

As the sound of the instrument reverberated around her skull, Tanya blinked for a moment and then sighed. It seemed some King or Queen from this world's past had decided to impress their music tastes on this world, and while 'pop' music couldn't be a thing yet without the fast transfer and mass production of information and music, that didn't stop the proclivities of those rulers seep into the culture of this world.

Thus, they used an electric guitar – powered by mana and amplified by a similar device to the magical amplification devices she had seen thus far – to herald her arrival instead of something more sensible, like a trumpet. The band that was playing also, in addition to something more like the music she imagined medieval Europe had once enjoyed, had some more 'modern' music that the Hero Candidates of the past had preferred.

"Announcing the Governess of Axel, Ace of Aces, THE Desert Geranium, THE Savior of Tiegenhoff, THE Salamander's Flame, THE Lucky Queen, THE Tranquility Destroyer, and THE Banisher of Amalgamations."

She fought the urge to groan. Yes, this world liked its titles, but she'd told that idiot to choose one-

And the doors opened, and Tanya tried her best to glide – figuratively, since she could do it literally – down the staircase, acting as high and mighty as if she were twice as strong as Being X.

The sea of blond hair and blue eyes, sprinkled with occasional islands of uniqueness, stared up at her, staring, unmoving within the gilded, opulent bowl that was the room her party was being held in.

She didn't wince like she wanted to. It felt… odd to have people hanging on her every word, after so long. Still, a supremely confident leader was a role she had made herself fill, and so…

"Ladies and gentlemen, I welcome you to the celebration of my seventeenth birthday. While I do recognize some of you, I would like to take this time to rejoice and to get to know each other after the… unfortunate end of the late Governor Alderp. Soon we shall eat, but for now, let us relax as winter sets in."

Glasses were clinked together – nobles wouldn't do something as plebian as clapping, after all – and Tanya finished descending the steps as Lorelei followed after.

Things whirled around her. She met old faces and new ones, talked, and generally schmoozed everyone around her as much as she could. She was still looking out for a few people – and Viktoriya, of course, who she couldn't-

"Tanya!" a voice called out with familiarity. Tanya smiled and turned around.

Her eyes widened. Gerrard had cleaned up well. It wasn't the best suit – there were a few guards of noble lineage that probably wore better clothes – but it still looked immaculate.

Aloerina and Sena, on the other hand, were done up as wonderfully as any of the other nobles there… and they seemed to have gone for matching dresses.

"Gerrard, Aloerina, Sena! Wonderful to see you all again. I hope you're enjoying yourselves?" she asked. They all nodded, and while the women spoke of how 'absolutely stunning' everything was, and how 'they wondered if the nobles were ensnared by one of the mysteries of Axel,' Gerrard… looked like he had lied.

She raised an eyebrow at him, and he sighed as the other two finished. "Truthfully, I feel… out of place. I'm just a commoner-"

Tanya raised an eyebrow. "How can you think you are that pathetic? It's just a party."

While he blushed and seemed affronted at her calling him pathetic – though the wig he had on that wasn't held down properly might try to agree with her – he didn't say anything.

Tanya sighed and shook her head. "I am not your conscience or anything like that, but just because you are not a noble doesn't mean you are useless."

He slumped. "It certainly has felt like that for the past few decades…"

She rolled her eyes again. "Gerrard…"

She smiled and drew him close, whispering. "Look, if you don't stop moping, I'll pay the Succubi to visit you every night and give you dreams about being all-powerful until you have a god-complex larger than anyone else, ever. As it is, they'll be visiting you for the next week, so please: stop beating yourself up about things you can't control, alright?"

He had first shaken his head at her first suggestion, but he had rapidly nodded with her second. He smiled, rose up, and talked to the other two.

"Come on. I want some refreshments, and I'll tell you two about how…"

They seemed highly skeptical, but they played along, and Tanya sighed. That was something else she had to do, but it was – hopefully – a problem solved.

And again, faces and voices blurred together around her as she mingled and talked and then…

She ended up facing the group of nobles Alderp had told her about.

She made sure her smile wasn't too shark-like as she stepped closer and surveyed the nobles. She'd convey the ability to murder through her teeth later in the conversation.

While there were quite a few nobles in the group ahead of her, three were the ringleaders; Alderp knew the rest of them well enough that without either himself or those three, they'd turn on each other in a desperate bid to escape punishment.

Lady Carleen Tennessee was head of the Tennessee family, reclusive nobles who had decided to build their estate farther away from Axel than all the others. It was still safe, of course – the forest her mansion was located in had been emptied of monsters long ago.

The economic power her family held might have forced Tanya to be lenient with them, as far as corruption went, but two factors would mitigate the influence of her economic power.

One: the Tennessee family was a relatively minor one. The red hair that hung from Lady Tennessee's head was indicative of how her family hailed from Elroad, and Alderp claimed that her ancestors had arrived some two centuries ago.

Two: Alderp's knowledge of their more… illicit dealings was vast, and Tanya had already unknowingly gotten wind of it – that trader she had bought her Coronatite off of had probably been doing so with Tennessee's implicit blessing, if it hadn't been a direct order.

Lord Wartholomew Undine, by contrast, held some of the most extensive lands around Axel after Lord Dustiness, and while it seemed that serfdom wasn't present in this world – if times were especially tough, a farmer had the legal right to abandon his place on his land and leave for better work – he tried his best to make sure that anyone that did try to leave was 'encouraged' not to, according to Alderp.

He was in the prime of his life, too, with a full head of bright yellow hair, an odd scar across the length of his nose, and enough height to meet Lorelei's chin. This had led to rumors speaking of why he exploited his tenants: he had to pay a huge sum to keep away from the front lines, and he collected many items some would consider… illicit. Considering the moral aspect of the war against the Demon King, that fact wasn't mentioned in polite company, but Alderp had enough dirt to ruin him socially.

Not that social ruination meant anything in and of itself; but if she brought it to light, the rest – those in his circle and more upstanding individuals outside of it – would see it as her permission to cleave his power apart.

Finally, Conceri Befrantz was the controller of the Befrantz's holdings around Axel. While, as a whole, the family was powerful enough and large enough to get close to the Dustiness's prestige, that only held true as long as they worked together; considering they were nobles that didn't have a figure like Darkness's father to unite everyone, it was a given that that was hard without outside pressure.

As it was, Conceri had fled from portions of his family after losing a power struggle. He'd made deals with the nobility of Axel in order to keep his family away from him and had become a power broker between nobles that kept their noses clean and those who dealt in more illicit circles. Upstream from Axel, close to the border, he held some land around the river.

Official representatives from the rest of the family would be held up in border towns indefinitely due to 'problems that the capital simply wouldn't deal with' – apparently, those Durian quests had political uses most were unaware of. More… unofficial representatives sent were kept out by using his political prowess to cajole other nobles to use their manpower to stop any would-be assassins.

He would be easiest to take care of, if it came down to it: Tanya's friendship with Darkness and Ignis Ford Dustiness's management of some of Alderp's former holdings meant that she was firmly allied with the Dustiness's, and since his original goal in being sent here was to root out corruption…

Well, Lord Ignis now had plenty of evidence, should she provide it.

Her smile widened, and she watched gleefully as their stances tensed.

"How are you all enjoying my party?" she asked. Leading with thinly-veiled threats would end the encounter faster… but they needed to stew in their anxiety and fear before she made her offer.

Undine smiled widely. "Very much, Governess Degurechaff! I must say, these refreshments, despite their… odd appearance, are quite delectable. Where did you come by them?" he said, gesturing to the gyoza she'd shown the cooks how to make a week ago.

She smiled. "They are indeed. Once I heard that these were a kind of food the Hero Candidates enjoyed, I just had to try them for myself. As you can probably tell, I'm quite partial to them now."

She surveyed the leaders again, making more small talk – speculation about what would be on the dinner menu, speculation about the Hero Candidates, talk about the war…

They even took the time to complement the décor – not that Tanya cared that much for how much wealth was on display. Alderp argued that showing off gold and paintings and thick carpeting and stainless marble floors was how to impress nobles that were obsessed with wealth; Tanya, obviously, thought he and everyone else was insane for not putting that money to better use.

Eventually, the discussion of some of her policies began and ended.

She smiled as they finished praising the policies she had for businesses. She knew it was a lie – having so many merchants and businesses pop up and actually innovate, instead of the same-old shops that only flourished because the nobles stifled competition meant many of them had taken hits to their incomes in those sectors.

"Yes, thank you very much. Hopefully, there won't have to be much more change," she commented, as if idly letting a thought slip. Lady Tennessee was obviously the most inexperienced – she was younger than all the others by quite a wide margin, and her grin was wavering at the edges.

"M- More change?" she asked. Undine kept his eyes glued to Tanya, while Conceri's flicked towards Tennessee in anger. Tanya's smile grew wider.

"Well, of course! I've spent so long reshuffling personnel to get rid of Alderp's corruption – or as many as I could without having to personally run everything myself – that I would hate to have to entrust more to Lord Dustiness."

"Lord Dustiness? What dealings do you have with him?" Befrantz asked, seemingly genuinely curious. Tanya turned to him, an eyebrow raised.

"Why, after I asked him for help, he's helpfully provided people – bureaucrats and the like – who could help run the lands that Alderp held before," she said. She bit her lip, and then shook her head.

"It's a good thing, too – since the reason that the Sword of the Kingdom is here is to investigate and root out corruption," she provided, smirking as they went white. "I know that I can trust him… and considering how meticulous Alderp was about documenting everything, it's only a matter of time until we figure out who provided the relic he tried to use to kill Iris to him – we wouldn't want to blame someone who was innocent, after all."

Her smile had slowly but surely melted off her face as she continued with her prepared threat. Of course, Alderp had had that Divine Relic for centuries, but they didn't know that, and she could, if needed, blame one – or all – of them.

The rest would support her if things came to that – rather someone else than themselves, after all – but she hoped it wouldn't.

They were skilled administrators. If she could induce productivity in them and get them to stop being corrupt, all the better; the losses their profits had been taking recently would serve as compensation for what they had helped Alderp with, as long as they did as she wished – which was in their best interests anyway.

Lord Dustiness was here to root out corruption. She'd give him some low level nobles for now – just to prove to the rest that she could – and, if the crowd before her was smart, it would end at that.

If they weren't? Well, Axel and the area around it would lose some efficiency in the short term, but things would return to how they were eventually.

-OxOxO-

As the Governess stepped away, the nobles began to eye each other. That was what he was doing here? With how many of the sons of the local nobility he'd been tapping for a potential marriage to his daughter, they'd thought he was simply here to see her wed. His love for her was well known…

But of course not. He was the Sword of the Kingdom. He'd been gathering information through that pretense, searching for an opportunistic child or cousin who wouldn't get any inheritance unless something 'tragic' were to befall their family.

Carleen cursed. She had heard tell of a promising new 'security organization' popping up in some cities to the south, but it seemed she'd have to cut the ties she'd spent so much material trying to create. She couldn't rely on them letting her merchants do business unmolested anymore, which meant she'd either have to hire adventurers, or she'd have to pay those thugs 'protection money.'

She would hire the adventurers, of course – any ties to an organization like that, even if she was the one getting fleeced, were possibilities for accusations. Paying more was better than ending up dead, though.

She cursed that fool Alderp – an attempt on Iris's life? He was lucky Degurechaff had been the one ordered to kill him – Iris's father would have made that fat idiot's death far more agonizing than whatever this child could do.

Wartholomew cursed internally as well. That Divine Relic he had managed to acquire wouldn't help against anything this girl was trying to use against him – and it was doubtful it would help him in battle, considering its… proclivities.

Still, it was a rare item, which meant that he still enjoyed collecting something that no one else could ever have.

Though, considering his situation, at least he wasn't in Elroad. He didn't get nearly as much information as he was sure the other two members of 'the Trio' he had formed with Lady Tennessee and Baron Conceri, but he had heard tidings from Elroad…

Of nobles going 'missing,' and of corruption being done away with at a… grizzly rate…

Conceri simply sighed as she walked off. They would all have to play the game – of doing what she wanted, of going on the straight and narrow – and if any of them faltered, she might take them all out…

He eyed those behind them and the two next to him. If someone faltered, they might all get punished… and under that logic, wouldn't the others seek to eliminate any possible source of error?

If that were the case, did he need to move against his allies? He could try, but if he ran out of 'reformed' nobles who had sworn and lied that they had no idea what Alderp was doing, the ones that were actually decent wouldn't have any need for a power broker like him. He'd be out of bodies to put between him and his family…

Of course, things couldn't get too bad. All of them here had some skill in combat, which meant that, unlike in Elroad where their nobles were gambling fools, they couldn't be sentenced to death as long as they could prove their worth fighting against the Demon King…

He didn't sigh again, as much as he wanted to, as he discussed the ballroom they were in with one of their lesser compatriots – Alderp had used the other one, since it was larger, and one could only wonder why they weren't there.

They all had to play the game perfectly. A missed step one way would lead to Degurechaff and Dustiness crashing down. On the other, their allies would turn them to mincemeat to save themselves.

Such a headache. And yet, he couldn't help but grin just a bit. This was so much more interesting than trying to play a game against his family that he couldn't win.

-OxOxO-

Tanya was absolutely dumbfounded by what was in front of her. That was nothing compared to how Lorelei was apparently feeling, however.

What he was wearing put the nickname for normal tuxedos to shame.

"I… I had thought I would construct something so eye-catching that Tanya would stand out above all others… I apologize for such thoughts… I am truly foolish…"

"It is no matter, Lady Lorelei. I am aware of how… 'eye-catching' my suit is, as you put it. I wouldn't doubt if you'd have to travel through several countries before you found anything like it."

Oh, Tanya didn't doubt that at all. But that was because-

"Why are you wearing a penguin suit?"

She couldn't help herself. Logically, because no nobles around them had made a fuss about this person wearing a penguin suit, it was either overlooked or…

Or it was completely normal. But… if such a thing were normal, wouldn't Claire have mentioned it in the capital?

She felt an eye twitch. Just what was this place? The nobles were all bent in the head – they were either corrupt, or they had weird fetishes like Darkness, or they had obsessions like Revi's gambling, or they wore bizarre clothing-

"What's a penguin?" asked Lorelei, and Tanya had to pause at that.

Okay, that much she could give the residents of Axel, at least. To the best of her knowledge, penguins weren't native to the area… though, considering the fact that fruit were caught in rivers and food came to life to attack you and Octopi were caught in the forests, she wouldn't doubt if there were 'cave penguins' or something.

She shook her head away from that tangent. "My apologies. It is an animal that resembles this… suit worn by Mr…?"

He bowed at the waist slightly. "I am Count Zereschrute, Lord of Brutality."

Tanya blinked and decided to ignore. "Wait, you're Zereschrute? How wonderful to meet you face to face! You've been accepting every reform I've proposed wholeheartedly – you even recommended some changes of your own," she exclaimed. She would have liked to know that the learned individual she had read the letters of dressed like a penguin, but she would simply apologize.

He bowed his head again. "Of course, Governess Degurechaff. The reasoning you provided was beyond thorough, and I'm always happy to help my citizens achieve a higher standard of living."

Tanya nodded… but then she came back to the problem. He was wearing a penguin costume.

It was a cute one, too. She couldn't really overlook that without at least some information.

"Lord Zereschrute, I hate to ask, but… why are you wearing that suit? I mean no offense-"

He chuckled and shook his head. "I would not assume you did; your reputation precedes you."

He sighed happily. "Many years ago, immediately after the death of the King's wife, he… well, he lost sight of himself. My title as the Lord of Brutality came from both my ability to match a fraction of his power, and the help I provided him in decimating the forces of the Demon King after I was able to steer him onto the right track."

"As for the suit?" he said, shrugging, "Well, when you have power and oppose the Demon King, a few peculiarities can be easily overlooked. Besides, it's durable, flexible, waterproof, and it retains heat well in winter."

Tanya opened her mouth. She did, of course, have several more questions… but her immediate ones were answered, and she could ask Alderp for more information later.

And though they conversed about policy occasionally and clothing later on – and the way he talked about fashion made it so that even as he spoke with Lorelei about the topic at length, Tanya could still follow along and appreciate some of his opinions – something he said as she was leaving to find Darkness gave her pause.

"Have a good evening, Governess Degurechaff. My compatriots and I are watching you and yours with baited breath."

Those words made her knit her eyebrows, but when she turned around, Lorelei and Zereschrute were already walking towards the refreshments table.

Perturbed, Tanya began to look for Darkness. That… she was sure he meant something more by it, but she didn't know what…

Plus, he was treating Lorelei normally. Even Darkness held some sort of grudge against the woman simply because she'd gotten unlucky one day and become a Monsume, but he didn't seem to care at all…

She scowled. She'd ask Darkness about him, then. Alderp, too. Having an unknown around like that might turn out to be a liability, even if he seemed conciliatory and helpful on the outside.

-OxOxO-

Chris scowled. It had taken a lot of work to get anywhere near Axel – she had to admit, grudgingly, that her followers' praise of Degurechaff for making the police and guards better at their jobs had not been unfounded.

Regardless, she had made it onto his property. Without Undine here, the property had been even more undefended.

As she snuck through the mansion, sure that her Luck would prevent her from running into any guards but still staying alert in case it failed, she sighed. There were so many paintings and ornaments and expensive things she was passing up…

But while she wanted to grab them, she couldn't. For one thing, a great many of them, while expensive, couldn't be donated to the Church without suspicion falling on the Church from investigators looking for stolen items.

Undine couldn't really report the theft of a Divine Relic, especially such an important one – something like Aigis should be on the frontlines, not bound inside of some treasury gathering dust. If he reported that he'd held onto something like that instead of donning it and heading to the frontlines – or at least donating it to the war effort – he'd probably face harsh repercussions.

Besides, she was starting to regret becoming a Thief. It was nice for some things, of course – gathering Divine Relics being the foremost among them – but if she were a Priest, she could have worked up the hierarchy so that she could utilize the inner workings of her Church and pointed those the Church had influence with towards evil-doers, instead of having to take them on herself.

She winced as she fought down another headache – why did they have to chase her down to her mortal body? – and hurried through the darkened, quiet mansion. Soon, she arrived at the door.

Her Trap Detection skill activated, and she quickly disarmed the alarm trap. Her eyes widened, and warmth bloomed in her heart. Even if it wasn't as effective, doing things herself instead of orchestrating things behind the scenes felt a lot more rewarding, and imagining donating all of this wealth – or, the portions that were obtained in morally dubious ways – filled her with joy at the thought of the alleviation of some of the world's suffering.

She shook her head. That, unfortunately, would have to wait. For now…

She scanned the room. The armor wasn't there… perhaps there was another room he kept it in?

Probably not… she'd scouted this place out, and she didn't know where else he'd keep it. But if the Sacred Armor Aigis wasn't here…

She eyed the room speculatively. Her dealings with Degurechaff had taught her to think outside of the box. Was Aigis really not here? She began to walk along the edges of the room, feeling for a secret switch or-

And the stone wall swung open, and she rubbed her palms together, chuckling. Finally!

She grabbed the large burlap sack off of her hip and opened it. It would probably make a lot of noise as she moved, but hopefully, she'd be able to escape before anyone realized what was happening…

She stared at the armor, bound in chains, and at the scratches etched into its surface. She sighed. "Even after everything you got put through, you protected your master from everything, until they died of sickness…" she said, marveling at the tiny scratches in the surface of the armor.

"Hey, boy. Don't touch me casually."

Chris blinked in shock, whirling around. Had someone…

Her fearful expression subsided. Who…

She turned around again, staring at the armor. "Uh. B-Boy? Is that me? No, what's happening? That was you? Sacred Armor Aigis?" she asked, trying her best not to sound enraged by the insinuation.

"Oh. What? Not a boy? Then you may touch some more. Let me introduce myself. Pleased to meet you. My name's Sacred Armor Aigis. I'm a multi-talented divine relic that can speak and sing. You may call me Mr. Aigis." His voice, seemingly coming from nowhere, reverberated through her head.

She was shocked. She'd never heard of…

Well, actually, she technically had heard of a Divine Relic that could talk, if you counted Degurechaff's Type 95 as a Divine Relic.

"Er… Aigis-"

"I told you to call me Mr. Aigis, brat," he interrupted scornfully.

She fought the urge to shout. "I'm not a brat! Why are you so…"

She wanted to lash out, but her headache was pounding on her head – it seemed his psychic communication was exacerbating it. She didn't have time.

"Mr. Aigis, sir. I came here to borrow your power once more. I'll help you find a new master. They'll come from another world like your previous master. It'll be someone from a place called Japan, a person destined to save the world!"

He blew her off and provided her with a reason – he could feel pain and he didn't want to head back to the frontline.

It… was a legitimate reason – who was the idiot Deity who thought making armor able to feel pain was a good idea? – but she didn't really care. She continued to argue with him, promising to give him a righteous owner…

"No, no. The personality doesn't matter! The important thing is appearance. Appearance! Big tits? Or thin models? If it's like that previous brat, then forget it. Ah. I prefer cuties to beauties. The previous master was a swordsman, so a swordswoman would be better this time. I hope that person will wear less beneath the armor…"

She eyed the bag in her off hand… and slowly, as he continued to rant about his preferred woman, set it down. That probably wouldn't work.

During her quest for Sarutahiko Okami to get advice and help with understanding and combating The Atheist a while back, she had met a wide variety of people in order to track down some truly remote Deities of war. Some of the more… well, 'interesting' was a nice word to call the people she'd run into – regardless, some of them were love-related Deities.

Nearly all of them – unless they were Deities representing a specifically non-sex related kind of love, like familial love – resented the fact that, despite being the personifications of love, they couldn't fuck.

If this thing was anything like them – loudly passionate about everything surrounding sexual attraction despite not being able to do anything about it considering it's form – then interrupting him would ensure that she would have an even harder time capturing him.

She needed to be… cunning.

So she listened to him prattle on about the kinds of women he liked.

As she did, she began to wonder if she shouldn't have just gotten that damn Divine Shield… but Misturugi's sword was two-handed, so he'd never be able to use it effectively.

As he talked about 'the sanctity of the thigh gap,' she felt her headache growing.

As he spoke at length about 'gap moe's transformative effect on cuteness,' she wondered if she wasn't the Goddess of headaches.

As he droned on about 'Petite vs. Plentiful,' she wondered if she couldn't ask Degurechaff to split her head open – it would surely hurt less than this.

Finally, after he got everything out of his system, he eyed her speculatively. "Hmm… to listen to me for so long… are you perhaps an Axis Cultist, who also enjoys-"

ALRIGHT, that was too far. "Ah, Mr. Aigis sir, I was wondering if you'd like to come with me?" she asked, barely able to restrain herself from melting this thing down for scrap.

The stance of the armor – because it didn't have eyes, she had to try and decipher it's nonverbal communication through body language alone – changed, becoming much more defensive. "Hmm? Why would I do that?"

She eyed the chains purposefully. "Well… if I'm understanding you correctly, then you'd like to be worn by a woman matching your tastes, right?" she asked kindly. Slowly, it nodded, and she nearly sighed in relief.

"Of course! I told you already, but I feel pain. The least I deserve is someone pretty to wear me if I'm going to be taking blows for them."

"Well," she began hesitantly, her headache growing, "I haven't told many people this, Mr. Aigis sir, but I'm actually the Goddess Eris, which is how I found your location. If you want…"

She hated to do this, and her head was pounding harder than ever, but she made the promise all the same.

"I can help you find someone to your liking, as long as you do me a few favors first!" she declared.

She felt something inside her rebel at the promise, but she crushed the feeling of guilt – if it furthered Heaven's goals and killed The Atheist, then whoever matched his desires would just have to deal with being protected by armor that literally couldn't be pierced – as if that were a bad thing! They'd probably even be grateful for getting a gift from her-

Unfortunately, her promise didn't have the effect she desired. Instead of quieting down to think or accepting immediately, he became… cagey. "Pfft! You're claiming to be a Goddess? Lady, I've met Goddesses. Or rather, it was a Goddess who gave me to a certain man. Anyway, let me tell you this: when it comes to Goddesses, there isn't a single decent one around."

He was talking about Aqua. She was many things, but she wasn't like Eris, so he wasn't talking about-

Her headache rang like a thousand gongs had been thrown into a clothes dryer being whirled around at top speed.

Two conflicting desires fought within her: Lash out, melt into slag – any disobedience was sacriligious; disagree, debate, convince – that was the way of the righteous.

She collapsed. She… she couldn't think, it all just hurt!

"Hey! Are you alright? What- I should call for-"

"NO!"

She caught her breath. No, that… she had to do this…

She grit her teeth. Fine, he wanted a master? He doubted HER? He needed more evidence to be convinced?

Fine.

She'd be scolded, she'd have to do more work – but if she got him, and got Aigis to Mitsurugi, and got Degurechaff killed…

Everything would be forgiven. If she was gone, the headaches would leave, right? The horrible, aching Break occurring within her being would fade, right?

It had to. She couldn't… she couldn't take much more of this pain.

For a moment, she found herself in Heaven again, and then she was back in the treasury, standing before Aigis, smiling softly as she utilized the power of her followers to ease her pain.

"My name is Eris." she said softly, giving him a small smile as she tried to keep her pain off of her face.

Aigis was quaking in place, despite the chains restraining his movements. He whispered to himself, "I've found her."

Then, he was not whispering.

"I've found her. I've found heeeeeeeeeeer! I did it, I found her! I've found my master!"

She panicked. "H- Hey! You…"

She cried out. In addition to rekindling her headache with his telepathic scream, he'd woken up the household. If anyone came here and sensed her divine presence… but she couldn't leave casually – if someone sensed her leaving, then Axel would become a holy spot like every other place she'd ever stepped foot on…

He cringed immediately. "Please! Release me! I'll do as you ask, just please, wear me… oh, Lady Eris will be inside my body… hehe…"

"Even though we're being surrounded, aren't you the most dangerous one here?!"

She shook her head and quickly untangled him from the chains. She could hear thundering footsteps heading towards them-

She cast her arm out. "Wire Trap!" she shouted…

"Er… master, was that supposed to do something?"

She groaned as she undid the last chain. If she was in her true body, she didn't have access to the rope she used for using that skill – to say nothing of the fact that she didn't even have any skills right now!

"Alright… how do I…" she began as he flexed his components. The thing cleared its throat – she wondered why, considering it didn't and hadn't ever had one – and spoke quickly. "In order to enter me, you must say 'I want to be Mr. Aigis's bride!'"

She opened her mouth to argue – no Deity was stupid enough to make that the activation words! – but the quickening steps outside the treasury spurred her forward past her embarrassment.

"I- I want to be Mr. Aigis's bride!" she shouted.

"YAHOO! Ahem… uh, Combine!"

"You-"

She didn't have time to say anything else, as a blinding flash of light stole her vision for a moment. As that moment ended, she felt her limbs move themselves and Aigis adjusted to her, becoming much more… form fitting.

She ignored the urge to verbally demolish him for trying to cop a feel. "Let's go already!" she shouted.

She felt herself nod and saw the door to the treasury burst open. Aigis cracked his knuckles. "Make way! After finding my true master, none shall stand in my path!"

As he made his escape, taunting those he was barreling through, Eris hoped he wouldn't be too upset when she set him up with Mitsurugi – for a little bit.

As much as she'd love to try and get Aigis to stay with Mitsurugi and kill the Demon King, she knew, after listening to him, he'd never do it willingly. She'd try her best to make a deal with him – his pick of her followers in return for helping Mitsurugi kill Degurechaff.

In the meantime, she'd have to distract him with something… she'd been hearing that an interesting new kind of literature was starting to pop up here that sounded familiar, so maybe he'd keep put if she gave him some?

-OxOxO-

As Tanya talked with Darkness – about the party and how it had turned out really well and how Darkness thought Tanya was just a bit prideful to not ask for her help – she sensed that something was… off.

It wasn't for the usual reasons, either. Darkness was standing up straighter and using more eloquent words than Tanya had ever heard from the girl, but that was expected of the situation they found themselves in now.

It also wasn't because Darkness wasn't acting like the proverbial punching bag in heat,' either, because… she still was. She hid it much better when surrounded by the kingdom's aristocracy and the expectations of her station, but the hints of it – about who would be blamed if Tanya's party didn't turn out as well as hoped, and how it was just so unfortunate that she didn't have a willing scapegoat – peeked through enough for Tanya to see that she could suppress her urges… for the most part.

No, the reason she thought something was off was because of Darkness's eyes. She didn't often worry about much – her station and the associated wealth, along with her physical prowess ensured that most of her problems would always resolve themselves in her favor, one way or another – but the worry present around her eyes told Tanya that Darkness felt something was wrong.

When she asked, hesitantly, if anything was wrong – she didn't want to bring anything to light here, where the vultures were undoubtedly waiting for even the barest whiff of blood – she sighed.

"It's… my father insisted I attend. He's still set on finding me a suitor to marry."

Tanya raised an eyebrow. "And do you intend to?" she asked.

She wouldn't interfere in Darkness's business… but for the girl's longevity, it was probably very important for her to either settle down away from anything that could eat, mangle, dismember, or otherwise hurt her, or for her to finally pick up some skills that didn't involve being able to get hurt and live.

Darkness sighed and gave Tanya a very unlady-like shrug of her shoulders. "I suppose I will eventually have to find one. Most nobles do not… meet my standards – very few nobles are devoted to the people of Belzerg like my family."

What went unmentioned was obvious – and Tanya's knowing and accusing raised eyebrow made Darkness shudder in pleasure, causing Tanya to roll her eyes. She was looking for someone who'd mistreat her, specifically, and no one else?

She doubted she'd ever find someone like that. Although…

Once Darkness stopped panting, Tanya sipped on her wine and continued the conversation. "Well, speaking of your suitors, Lalatina, your father actually sent me a letter inquiring about Walter. I can speak from personal experience that he cares greatly for the people of Belerg, considering his origin as an orphan."

Darkness blinked owlishly and then began to mutter explicatives – fancy, noble explicatives, of course, but explicatives nonetheless – aimed at her father and Tanya.

"Oh, is there something wrong with that, Lalatina? Whatever it is, you simply must tell me about it, Lalatina," she said, continuing to prod the girl verbally.

Darkness pouted – pouted! – at her, and Tanya shook her head. "Alright. I replied to your father's letter that I knew he wouldn't meet your standards… but you really should-"

Darkness grinned widely. "Thanks, Tanya!" she said. As Tanya was about to continue recommending Darkness pick up some offensive skills – any offensive skills, actually – Darkness's expression became troubled once more. "Tanya… have you had any more… dealings with my father?" she asked slowly.

Tanya raised an eyebrow. "Beyond his updates about the land he is helping to administer? No. Why?" she asked, suspicion lacing her voice. Darkness wouldn't bring it up unless…

The woman waged an internal war for a moment… and then she pushed forward. "Well, it's just that father has been receiving missives from the royal family – more than he usually would as the Sword of the Kingdom and Shield of the Royal Family. I don't know what they're about – only he can see them… but he's asked me to keep a close eye on you."

Tanya's brows furrowed. Word of what she was doing was sent to the capital regularly through the Guild, which meant Iris had undoubtedly been looking at her administration of Alderp's former territories with rapt attention.

She kept her face blank and cursed internally. Had she – or, more likely, her retainers – taken exception to how she was running things?

She grumbled to herself. If Ignis was receiving letters from Iris, then she undoubtedly knew of how she had been pushed to the brink due to her overwork…

Could that instruction to 'keep an eye' on her have been an order to look out for her wellbeing, or was it an attempt to scan for weakness? Tanya had gotten a very good image of what Iris was like on her trip, so she doubted she was interested in the latter, but…

Perhaps Ignis was concerned for his own image? Though-

"Tanya?" Darkness asked, startling Tanya from her musings. She'd been silent too long. With a sigh, she stored away her thoughts for a more appropriate situation. "It's nothing, Darkness. Iris likely just wanted to make sure that I won't overwork myself again."

If she had found Tanya's work lacking, she probably would have replaced her already – or just put Ignis and Darkness in charge of Alderp's former lands directly. Since Tanya hadn't been replaced, she was likely just concerned and approved of her work.

The lack of complete information was grating… she would need to start writing letters to the Princess soon, and a meeting with Ignis to clear up any misconceptions that might have arisen was likely in order as well.

"If… you're sure, Tanya, then I'll trust your judgment," she said, sounding frighteningly genuine. Tanya raised an eyebrow once more.

"Maybe his behavior is due to him wanting you to take notes? I'd imagine that he often wonders what it would be like to have a daughter who wasn't as masochistic as you – or at least one who could hide her interests better."

"Tanya!" she shouted, affronted… for a moment. "Wait, if he adopted you, then I'd be thrown out on the street, left to fend for myself… I'd have to beg for scraps, and I'd have to do all sorts of humiliating work…"

Tanya could have pointed out how she'd still have her adventurer job… but she decided to let the girl have her fantasies. As she left her, she scanned the room once more.

Where was Viktoriya?

-OxOxO-

By now, Tanya was actually worried. In the last half hour, between talking with more nobles about her plans and their brown-nosing, she'd tried to leave three times. Lorelei had stopped her twice, and Walter had even stopped her when she'd avoided Lorelei.

Walter! He was in on this? He had stepped out of the room and checked in on her at her request, and he said she was fine.

She was this close to just cloaking herself in her spells and leaving to find her, especially considering…

She glanced once more at the stage. It was time for the dance. Alderp had said it would help enhance the image she wanted to cultivate. She'd had to practice with that giant bowling ball, though he was smart enough to keep any untoward thoughts in his head and out of his mouth.

After the dance, dinner would start in earnest, and then Tanya would open up the present that the nobility had been 'kind' enough to give her.

After dancing with that bowling ball, though, she was… somewhat hesitant to do so with anyone else. Yes, her practice with him had been built on the very basics she'd learned for the two times she'd met the Kaiser – both Zettour and Rudersdorf had suggested she learn 'just in case' – but she was still… nervous.

Walter, Darkness, and Lorelei were all good candidates, and she could probably dance with Zereschrute, Gerrard, Aloerina, and Sena if push came to shove. They were all people she was known to associate with and who she was comfortable with. They were also people who wouldn't get a big head if she did so – if she danced with any old noble, it was entirely possible that they'd think she was expressing 'interest' in them.

Besides, she'd really prefer to dance with Viktoriya, if she had to dance with anyone. She was most comfortable with her, obviously, and, even better, Viktoriya wouldn't be able to walk away if Tanya began to demand answers to her very… odd behavior over the past few days.

Had she found Tanya's copy of Viktoriya's diary? Tanya had finally begun to piece together what a few sections were saying, broadly, thanks to their attempts to learn each other's languages.

Was Being X trying something? The circus they had gone through yesterday certainly suggested as much, but Viktoriya certainly wasn't tainted by his influence.

Had Mitsurugi seduced her? Had another reincarnate convinced her to betray Tanya? Had she achieved a state of perfection and decided that worldly matters no longer mattered? Had the back pain from her rack finally made her snap-

Tanya shook her head. Her thoughts were straying beyond 'sane worries' into 'deluded paranoia' so it would probably be better to simply wait…

But she hated surprises.

"Announcing Lady Viktoriya Ivanovna Serebryakov, Ace of Aces, THE Tranquility Disruptor, THE Argent's Right Hand, and THE Treasurer of Luck."

Tanya merely raised an eyebrow as she turned to the side door Viktoriya was entering through. 'Treasurer of Luck' was an interesting way to frame how she could fleece anyone who sat down at a card table with her back in the Empire, but-

There wasn't much sound after the announcement that Viktoriya was coming in – Tanya had made it clear that late arrivals wouldn't be allowed in, so no nobles had been able to make such a grand entrance besides herself and Lorelei. Viktoriya's late arrival in spite of that marked her as above those rules.

The sounds that were making themselves known as Tanya's friend entered stood out all the more because of it. She heard some nobles talking, not seeing fit to cease conversations, though one particular comment she heard – about wondering why everyone was 'so concerned with some peasant girl' ensured that she'd present any and all of the blackmail Alderp had on the man to Ignis at their meeting.

Tanya drifted forward, the errant thought that Being X was pulling something flying away as soon as she thought of it.

Fuck him. She had better things to do than think of that bastard.

Like admiring Viktoriya. The nobles parted ways as the band began to play a slower song than the usual 'upbeat' tunes that kings and queens from the past had been partial to.

As she strode forward, Tanya didn't ask if Viktoriya wanted to dance with her – she probably should; it was only proper, and assuming-

Viktoriya clasped Tanya's hands and they began to…

Well, if Tanya were honest, she hadn't paid the slightest attention to what the name of this dance had been called – all she knew was that it was slow, to match the beat, and that it didn't really matter right now.

"You look…" she began to say, only to realize that she wasn't sure exactly what word to describe Viktoriya with.

The four languages she knew didn't have a word to communicate what she was feeling. Even if they did, Tanya wouldn't be able to – it just wasn't realistic, really. No matter how much Tanya wished it were different, things were the way they were, so trying to communicate what she felt…

Her mind was her own, though. She could try to describe her within.

Beautiful. Her hair was better done today than any time before, flowing ethereally through the air, like chocolate being popped into her mouth.

Objectively Pretty. She'd prove it – what do you mean, a person's idea of what was beautiful was subjective, as shown by that as-good-as-dead noble from earlier? Hogwash!

Breathtaking. The creamy yellow dress embroidered with flowery frills hugged her body, the sleeves slipped onto her arms as much art as clothing, the buildup of frills the closer to the ground the dress got… all of it swimming through the air as effortlessly as the two of them could with their magic.

Picturesque. Wonderful. Amazing…

All that and more, including some rather crass words that weren't really fit for the company they had now.

"You look," she tried again, still failing to come up with the right words, and unsure if she could say anything without spilling her oh-so mushy guts and feelings to her at the same time.

Visha just giggled, and Tanya, for the first time, realized that she was blushing. This realization, unfortunately, only exacerbated the problem as she felt her face heating up even more.

"You don't look half bad yourself, Tanya," she said, leaning into Tanya. She felt her breath snatched away again.

Dammit. She couldn't really change how she'd been born, but… why couldn't she have been born male?

She wanted to tell her, to-

"You've been staring a lot, Tanya." Visha pointed it out quite frankly, and Tanya couldn't help but blush even more – somehow. Where did she keep all this blood, for there to be so much in her face?

Who had been the superior, again? Not Tanya, surely – her tongue wouldn't be so tied if she were.

With a shake of her head, she mentally rallied herself. She was Tanya von Degurechaff, dammit! She could control herself for one evening.

"Have I? Well, I apologize, as I am aware it's rude to stare. I must simply blame your looks for my mistake," she said, batting back a compliment and grinning as she blushed.

Yes, Tanya had once been her superior, but things were different now. They weren't in the military, with ranks restricting them, and… they weren't in the Empire, where barriers like a need to conform to the norm existed – or rather, the norm here was different.

"The Devil of the Rhine, making a mistake? Perish the thought!" she said, mockingly reverential.

Tanya smiled happily. It's nice, for things to be different. For them to be… equal.

Tanya took a breath. She couldn't – no, she wouldn't put it into words. No matter how much she wanted to, she'd rather her feelings fester and die before risking her friendship-

But as the song continued, she found her mouth aching to open as she stared into Viktoriya's calm smile.

Viktoriya wasn't that shallow, though. A single innocuous question wouldn't ruin a friendship like theirs. In the context of their discovery of what 'Axis Cultist' was slang for, it might even be expected! Tanya didn't think so little of her friend…

She gulped, turning to her last defense and snapping her mouth shut. Being X would ruin everything. He'd stop time, or he'd send another plane to firebomb her, or the Demon King's left testicle would rupture and release horror and plague onto the world and ruin the moment.

It didn't matter what happened; she'd never get the question out before the universe took advantage of her weakness to rip away everything she'd clawed to achieve.

Besides, did she deserve it? After everything she had done, after the literal thousands she had killed, even if in the line of duty?

-OxOxO-

As logic and feelings warred on Tanya's face, Viktoriya knew that she couldn't put what she felt into words either.

Not yet.

But she would.

The enormity of what she was feeling was made evident by how much Tanya's face was contorting – she couldn't stop broadcasting everything she was feeling, giving Viktoriya an amusing show and making everyone looking at them slow dancing during a love song give them funny looks.

She fought the urge to sigh. But… if she did this, Heaven had threatened consequences. Was their potential future happiness in the short term worth whatever he could cook up-

And Viktoriya saw, for a fleeting moment, Tanya's thoughts of self-doubt escape, her blush dying down as a resolute, stony face rode across her face, a sign of her pushing her emotions away.

And Viktoriya threw it out. All of it.

No more cost-benefit analysis.

No more doubts.

All she had to do-

-OxOxO-

Viktoriya was leaning closer, into Tanya's shoulder, her arms snaking behind her to encircle her back as they continued to dance slowly. Goosebumps rippled across Tanya's flesh.

Her breath raked across Tanya's neck and ear as she-

"Tanya, I love you."

Huh?

What…?

Hmm.

Tanya couldn't think. She couldn't breathe. It couldn't be real- Being X would ruin it all in moments.

It- it, it-

Her mouth moved for her. A cruel trick, like everything else.

But things didn't stop… so she'd stop them herself-

"Hey, you shouldn't say stuff like that in a situation like this. I might have thought you were serious."

Dry humor. A favorite first defense with those at her level or below her.

"I am serious. Tanya, I love you."

No.

"Ah… then, you meant that you love me like… a comrade-in-arms? I'm a bit confused about why you felt the need to express that v-"

A relationship built on years fighting together against-

"No, Tanya, not like that."

No…

"Then… like a close sister? I'm touch-"

A less loosely defined relationship, but one she could study and adapt to an-

"Tanya…"

N- No.

"Then-"

She was cut off. Usually, someone had something to interject and couldn't wait, or Tanya realized something and cut herself off, but-

Viktoriya leaned forwards and down, just slightly, and pushed her lips against Tanya's.

Everything froze.

The music stopped. The dancing stopped. The conversation stopped.

She couldn't think.

Why couldn't she think?

Everything stopped, and that fucker claiming to be god wasn't involved in the slightest.

So she stood there, waiting for things to start again. For the world to start moving again, for her mind to start thinking again.

It took forever.

It took a moment.

Slowly, she began to think again.

She was sure it would be a faux pas to remember other lovers while kissing someone, but she couldn't help it as she plunged down memory lane unabated.

She'd had a few lovers and girlfriends in college – if nothing else, she needed the experience should she need skills such as those outside of a more forgiving environment like college, as unlikely as that was with her career being much more important than a family.

It was nothing like that. The feelings of everything around her were imprinted on her. The high quality fabric embracing her body, the pointy shoes hugging her feet, the power of the small Manatite crystals caressing her senses.

Viktoriya's arms around her back. Their lips pressed together.

Bliss.

Viktoriya quietly backed away from Tanya. The kiss… had felt just like Kyouya's. There weren't any fireworks, and the world hadn't stopped moving...

Her breath left her when she saw Tanya's face.

Befuddlement. And then…

Wonder. The constant worry and anxiety creasing her eyes and weighing her down, replaced instead with wide-eyed innocence the likes of which she wasn't sure Tanya had ever experienced.

It stopped. The final, lingering doubts left. This- it was better than any alcohol, better than flying, than-

She hugged her closely. "I- don't… I can't-"

Tanya cried, softly. She didn't- no, she knew why she was crying, and-

And she could put it into words now. Nothing stood between them anymore.

So she did.

"I love how you can stomach anything, be it food or work. I love how your eyes look when you're flying through the sky. I love how you've been through everything with me. I love how your hair smells after a hard day of work. I love the coffee you make always tastes better than anything else. I love how you can't disguise your accent when you get passionate."

She took a shaky breath, and then, terrified…

"I love you too."

She couldn't take it back.

She couldn't try to do it over, or play it off-

And it felt wonderful, the knowledge that Visha knew and was happy because of it. Better than mana surging through her veins or coffee dribbling down her throat or-

And Viktoriya leaned down, putting her words to her own feelings and embracing her again.

"I love how you never give up, no matter how steep the challenge. I love how you hide how much you care behind snark and logic. I love how your lips look when you pout. I love running my hand through your hair and combing it. I love how your eyes become endlessly deep when you stare and think. I love explaining things to you that you should already know."

So they stood there, grasping onto each other, afraid the moment would drown in an ocean of misunderstandings if they didn't keep holding on and-

"AHEM."

They both blinked.

Ah, right. They were in the middle of a party or something, right?

Slowly – equally scared and desperate – they let go of each other and looked around, blushing.

Everything around them stopping had, indeed, not just been their minds playing with their perception of time. Lorelei's loud clearing of her throat, a cheeky grin at the two of them, and a pointed glare got the band to start playing again…

Though, when they tried to think about it, they realized that… they didn't really care.

How much did it really matter? Not at all.

With a thought, the Type 97 on Viktoriya's chest burst to life and they were gone in an instant, hidden inside an unused room in the too-big mansion. Viktoriya blinked in confusion – had she done that, or had Tanya? – but she leaned into Tanya as she grasped onto her again-

And they were kissing, again, deeper, and they grasped onto each other – Tanya would never let go again – feverish, speaking in low voices-

And Tanya felt desire and desperation, but-

Tanya's indecision flashed across her face, and Viktoriya backed off, and…

The rush wasn't… gone, but it was restrained. Again. Though it felt even worse to keep it at bay now.

Tanya backed away too, despite the warring desires to just… verbally gush and then to do something more energetic with their mouths.

"I- Visha, I want… more than… but-"

"Shh." She pushed a finger against Tanya's lips, and Tanya feels more heat-

And it was wonderful and horrible, because she wanted Visha, more than anything, but it felt both wrong and right and-

"It's okay. We've just got to go to the Crimson Demon Village, right? We'll leave Walter in charge…"

Tanya nodded numbly. Yes… she hadn't forgotten her goals. She needed to do well in managing the town, and she needed to decide if she'd stick with Heaven's Contract or if she'd join the Demon King-

Despite its presence not being anywhere near her, Tanya felt the pain of the contract flash through her body.

Really, it hardly registered. Euphoria blunted all her pain and worry. Those were long term problems, her current situation was a much more short term one.

For a moment, they sat there, in the unused room, and Tanya rushed forward, hugging onto Viktoriya, taking a deep, rattling breath.

"Alright." This- nothing was 'all right,' but Tanya had the distinct feeling that things could get much closer soon.

Viktoriya's smile lit up the room, and Tanya was almost convinced she'd die from a heart attack.

The rest of the night… passed in a blur. The food was excellent, but the looks Visha sent her – warmth, acceptance, love – tasted better than even the coffee Visha had made.

She hoped that the looks she sent back, mirroring her – friend's, partner's, and more's – face adequately conveyed at least a fraction of what she was feeling.

After that, she was sure she was given many expensive and altogether meaningless gifts – money and adventuring equipment and other such things – that she didn't really give much thought to remembering right now.

Though, the gift from Darkness, she could recall vaguely. It was some dragon meat.

Though the other nobles all looked at her in horror, Tanya thanked her – she had been having trouble getting ahold of any, and boosting their stats with dragon meat would be useful.

Darkness had seemed disappointed by her happiness, and Tanya had to assume that she had been hoping to be ridiculed in front of all the nobles… but since she was actually appreciative of the gift, maybe she'd go on a quest with her and berate her, for old times sake?

Viktoriya and Lorelei, if they had gotten her any other presents besides… well, they hadn't presented them to her yet, and she was fine with that – this was better than anything physical they could have gotten ahold of.

Regardless, the party ended soon after, the nobles left, then the guards, then the cooks. Lorelei went to her room…

And the two of them went into Visha's. Curled up in Visha's embrace, Tanya held onto her, almost – no, definitely afraid of letting go. It was a childish belief, to think that if she just held on, nothing would change, but…

She couldn't help it. It felt nice.

"Tanya?"

She blinked. "Yeah?"

"I…"

"Please," she asked, trying hard not to sound as desperate as she felt, "Can we talk… later? I… there's a lot I want to ask, but… for now…"

Viktoriya nodded slowly, and Tanya smiled brightly and nuzzled into the crook of Visha's neck. "Thanks. I… I love you."

"I… love you too, Viktoriya."

They slept better than they ever had.

-OxOxO-

A/N 1: Merry Christmas. College is still going, but I'm still working on this when I feel like it. Until next time.

A/N 2: Almost forgot, if you want a visual aid for how the scene looks, look up "TanyaxVisha Wedding by orangesekaii" and you'll see what I had in mind (besides Tanya being taller than Visha, which ain't the case in this story).