Third Time's the Charm

by SugarcaneSoldier

Dying again was much more painful the second time for Tanya von Degurechaff, but what came after was intriguing, to say the least, and she was nothing if not opportunistic. Taking the opportunity presented by Aqua would expand her opportunities by much more than she could have dreamed possible… but why did the good have to come with so much insanity!

45. Snow-swept Antics

In what seemed to be a recurring theme, Kazuma and his friends endeavored to make everyone else's lives more complicated. They were not, apparently, with everyone else at the front gate preparing to head to the usual spot.

Although, it didn't seem like many people were. She recognized some faces, but it seemed most people weren't here. Considering the absolutely frigid weather, Tanya couldn't blame them.

Talking to everyone else there didn't help at first. Aya just teased them about finally being in a relationship, while Takashi and Shizuka were just relieved they'd won some money in their betting pool – which Aya had lost, explaining her desire to mock them for taking so long.

Rex and his party didn't know where they were, though Rex was getting seemingly pitying looks from everyone else that he was seemingly oblivious to. Weird.

Eventually, they found Luna who was the most helpful, as always.

"Those idiots? They're sitting this one out since Kazuma died like three days ago to the Winter Shogun. When we left, he was arguing with Dust, though, so I offered to help set people up here," she explained.

A fight broke out somewhere behind the caravan that would likely leave once everyone had come back, and Luna growled. "It's like herding Rookie Killers…"

Tanya blinked, shocked. Luna almost sounded angry, which wasn't something Luna ever did, if she could help it, though those rare occasions where she did display emotion were always memorable.

Lorelei was more upfront about her shock. "You can feel emotions besides helpfulness?"

Luna spun back around, that same fake smile in place. "Of course I can! If you got frayed around the edges because you were being worked to the bone trying to keep all the adventurers out of trouble because they don't have anything better to do in this weather, I'm sure you'd be at least as high-strung as I am."

"Why are you all out here then?" Tanya asked. Luna snapped her gaze towards her. "Unlike the people in the guild who were smart enough to save up money, the people behind me need more money to make it through the winter. Besides, Monster Rushes pay very well."

With that, she spun back around and began to make very thinly-veiled threats.

"She's at least half as scary as you were back in the day."

"I'm glad I wasn't your subordinate."

"Knock it off. I'm sure that Luna would be only half as fun as I got."

"Well, that obviously because you're half her size."

"Lorelei, if anyone should feel anxious about their freakish height, it's undoubtedly you."

They quietly backed away, talking all the way to the guild. It was much more fun to insult each other than to complain about how overbearingly cold it was… for Lorelei, anyway.

"Can you teach me the spell that's keeping you warm?"

"How good is your math? Besides, can you even learn spells as a fighter?"

"…No, but would it kill you to warm me up too?"

"Lorelei, of course it would. As weak and incapable mages, we're incapable of such feats."

"Plus, we don't like you."

"You- Ah… that feels good. Thank you."

Eventually, the guild came into sight. Tanya almost pushed through the doors… but Viktoriya stopped her, a contemplative look on her face.

"Visha?" Tanya asked. Resolved, Viktoriya began to speak. "I just thought you'd like to know that Kazuma found out from Aqua about our mutual feelings and blackmailed me to keep him silent."

Tanya was silent, for a moment. On the one hand, if he'd told her sooner Viktoriya wouldn't have been able to reveal it during the party.

On the other hand…

Tanya snarled, "Did he?" wondering just what she would do in retaliation for not only keeping very important information from her, but also for trying to get paid for it. He hadn't done anything illegal, of course.

That didn't make her less upset, however.

Tanya let a wide grin form and looked up at Viktoriya. "Well, I'm sure we can plan a suitable punishment for him later. For now…"

She spun towards the doors and pushed them open, searching for Kazuma…

Only to not see him. She scowled again and headed towards a red-headed waitress, asking where he was.

"Oh, him? Yeah, I saw him talking to Dust earlier. He was complaining about Kazuma having so many beautiful women in his party. They bickered for a while, and they switched parties for today."

Tanya sighed and thanked the woman – who began to complain jealously about wanting to look as good as Darkness or Aqua – as she found her own party sitting at a table. She quickly informed them of the situation.

"Should we tail them?" Lorelei asked.

Probably not. Tanya wouldn't get anyone anywhere unless she talked to both the Crimson Demon and her handler Kazuma, so she might as well wait for the pair inside where it was warm…

On the other hand, while Kazuma might have proved himself useful during their battle with Evan, his performance during the first Monster Rush she'd participated in did not fill her with confidence in his ability to survive…

And, considering he was the only one who could corral his three teammates, maybe she should try and keep Dust and Kazuma's teammates alive as well. She certainly didn't want to deal with those three if he kicked the bucket.

Sighing, she agreed with Lorelei and they began to plan out who was tailing who.

-OxOxO-

"Man, I can't believe I've got to look after these three people… and the piece of trash that people call Dust," Lorelei muttered to herself.

Obviously, she wasn't going to try and split the two of them up without good reason – she'd worked hard to get them together, dammit! – but she'd been hoping for the easier job of watching that Kazuma fellow.

Oh, he was just as crude as Dust was, of course, but he didn't attract trouble like flies… or trouble that he wasn't the cause of, anyway. That couldn't be said for his teammates and the adventurer currently leading them.

And, of course, Dust had once drunkenly 'propositioned' her, back before she'd left for the capital. He'd told her she should feel lucky. She smacked him across the room of course, and he didn't even seem all that surprised.

She shook her head, doing her best to listen in on the quartet walking through the snowy plains. She'd learned at the guild that they were going after goblins, so she shouldn't need to intervene.

Knowing those three, she was skeptical. "Hare-Trigger Senses," she muttered under her breath, activating a skill to listen in on the four of them. If she was going to be stuck in the cold freezing her tail off, she would at least get some entertainment out of it.

Idly studying the three, she noticed that they'd all dressed for the horrid weather, and that their clothing was, admittedly, picture perfect. Dust, too, was wearing heavier clothing – he'd been complaining about having to buy it and possibly running out of money during the winter, which she was sure was his own fault.

She wondered, as the four of them conversed, if the trio had coordinated their outfits. Maybe one of them was into fashion?

She shook her head and focused in on the conversation, finally noting that Aqua had apparently dyed a few locks of her hair purple as Dust asked them a question.

"Say, why do you team up with someone who has the weakest class? I suppose you three've made it work, considering the Monster Rushes, but with advanced classes like yours, you guys should have no shortage of parties to choose from."

Lorelei listened to them stammer out responses to him, and she chuckled. Maybe this would be more fun than she thought?

-OxOxO-

Tanya sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. Once again, the NEET was proving that he was, somehow, not completely incapable at fighting and strategizing.

Him and his group had avoided a rookie killer thanks to his skills, and now they were fighting what looked to be a group of Goblins about sixty strong.

Besides an early hit from a Goblin Archer, they were fighting admirably.

Lynn had cast some kind of defensive spell meant to disrupt the flight of incoming arrows and was currently throwing spells into the midst of their opponents, Keith was shooting his own arrows at the Goblins currently outside of Kazuma and Taylor's reach, while the pair of them were slashing at Goblins that Kazuma had sent to the ground by employing basic water and ice magic that increased how slippery the wintery ground already was.

"It isn't exactly the most revolutionary strategy, but it seems like the other three think that he's doing quite well," she said quietly.

She and Viktoriya were hovering in the air with their Illusion spells hiding their location. They still weren't completely invisible, of course, but since they only had to focus on flying and keeping up the illusion spells, they were doing much better than they would have under fire.

"You think we're coloring their impressions?" Viktoriya asked. Tanya shrugged.

"Maybe? We proved that you can make the Adventurer class work well, but we come off more as Mages than anything else. Considering his more limited mana pool, I assume he'll be going for a different skill set."

Suddenly, they felt their Observation Spells pinging in unison. Tanya turned around.

In the distance, she could see the Rookie Killer limping back towards the group of Goblins. It didn't seem like it was overly hurt – it wasn't bleeding, as far as she could tell.

"Looks like that Rookie Killer is coming back. Do you think we should kill it for them?"

Viktoriya was about to reply – of course they should. It was easy experience for them, and most people in town thought that they were hard to fight due to their intelligence.

That intelligence couldn't really help it defeat bullets.

"It's amazing that these things are hardly smaller than Degurechaff. I wonder how hard I could punt one of these things…?"

"Hey, don't say that about her, even if she did get all of us chased by Brutal Alligators that one time…"

"Hmm, on second thought, considering it was her feud with that Undead Mage that almost got us all killed…"

"Guys- wait, do you feel that Killing Intent…? I don't see it, but perhaps the Rookie Killer is getting closer?"

Quickly schooling their emotions – they didn't know how Kazuma could detect enemies, but they didn't want to test if their illusions and Tanya's Lurk could block it. Viktoriya turned to Tanya and shrugged innocently.

"Absolutely not. Let them face the overgrown housecat."

Tanya smirked viciously. She couldn't have agreed more.

-OxOxO-

Lorelei was rolling on the top of the hill, laughing uproariously. Oh, this was great!

That Mage had used her spell to show off to Dust, and he'd been freaking out about how useless she was until they'd notice the Rookie Killer running towards them. Lorelei had taken a moment to stop laughing, but then-

"Taste my blade!" Darkness had shouted, winding up a slash with a sword, preparing to-

She missed. She completely and utterly whiffed the attack, and she was now being bitten and scratched by the Rookie Killer.

She couldn't help it. Lorelei laughed, long and hard, taking satisfaction in their plight. Darkness appeared to be doing fine, even with nothing but her winter clothes on and no armor – had she lost it when Tanya had sent her flying during that fight? – and Dust was still freaking out about their abilities… or lack thereof.

In a few more moments, during which Darkness begged the beast to defile her – yuck – it decided that they weren't worth the hassle. Aqua charged forward.

"What are you saying? If we defeat the Rookie Killer, that slimy dickwad will get down on his knees and treat us to two or even ten drinks! That's how it's supposed to be! Taste the fist of a goddess! God Blow!" Aqua shouted, rearing her hand backwards as she ran.

"Are you retarded? Why are you charging in now?" Dust shouted as he readjusted his grip on the Crimson Demon.

She hurtled closer to the beast-

THWIP!

And tripped on some drool!

Lorelei burst into fits of laughter again, howling…

Her laughter began to die down as her ears heard something else. Was that… breathing?

She looked around, not seeing anyone. Suspicious, she started to look around, until she saw Dust pick up Megumin's staff. What gave? Wasn't he a Warrior?

Her eyebrows shot up towards her hairline as he wielded it expertly to beat the Rookie Killer around the face. Eventually, it decided they weren't worth the trouble for a second time, and the four of them – or, the two of them, considering the Crimson Demon couldn't move and the noble was unconscious – collapsed to the ground.

For a few minutes, she watched him try to coax Aqua and get her to carry Darkness… and when she refused, he plopped down next to her, where Dust stayed for half an hour.

Her boredom growing, Lorelei finally contemplated going down and helping him and alleviating her boredom…

And then she remembered his attempt at propositioning her, telling her that she should be glad she was even being looked at for being a Monsume.

She spun back around. Tanya had asked her to make sure they didn't die, so she'd do that. With night approaching soon, however – and why had they decided to go so far away, when they could have just fought over who could kill the most Giant Toads instead of Goblins, anyway? – she settled down and watched.

"Bored?"

"Yeah, but-"

Lorelei did a double take as the snow behind her shimmered, revealing two figures lying on the ground behind her.

She shouted, "Don't sneak up on me like that! You-"

Neither were paying much attention to her words, so Lorelei just shook her head. "Anyway, is everything good?"

The pair nodded quickly. "Yeah, they just ran from a Rookie Killer. We saw that you all were still here, and they decided to take a break and have some coffee…"

Tanya grumbled to herself, about that – how'd he get some so easily? – but she accepted it quickly. "Anyway, what do you think about helping us get revenge on Kazuma for blackmailing Viktoriya?"

Lorelei weighed her options… and then she looked down from her hill at the quartet that were only now starting to move, Zombie-like, back towards Axel.

"I think he's probably got it hard enough, managing those three," she said, retelling her side of events in quick fashion.

They nodded along and began making their way back to Axel. "I suppose… well, I'll forgive him…" Tanya began, making Lorelei feel a spike of tension at the way she trailed off.

"I won't forget, however. I doubt he knows about what laws are on the books, so if I claim I'll prosecute him…"

She grinned evilly, and Lorelei turned towards Viktoriya-

Only to see that she was sighing dreamily, gazing at Tanya like a lovestruck maiden gazing at a knight training to defend his love.

Of course, Lorelei really didn't understand what was so dreamy about promising to blackmail a blackmailer, or Tanya's new conversation topic of what to make with some skill she'd learned from Bill, but what did she know?

She frowned and decided thinking about her own love life would be much less entertaining than watching Dust continue to struggle.

-OxOxO-

They decided to go to the guild to eat and drink as the clock approached midnight – they hadn't eaten out in a while, and watching Dust drag those three into the guild would be worth the price of the food ten times over – only to be surprised when Luna approached them.

"Ah, Governor Degurechaff, I was wondering…"

Tanya arched an eyebrow, and Viktoriya looked between the two. Luna hadn't been this nervous earlier, but she'd also been distracted. Viktoriya bet fifty-fifty this had either just happened, or she'd forgotten in her anger.

"Uhh, we've just received reports from the guards that Undead have been spawning from the cemetery with more regularity and have been trying to get out of the cemetery and into the city. It's nothing they can't handle, but they want it investigated after how little trouble the move caused them, and they're concerned more Undead might begin to emerge."

Tanya hummed to herself. That was actually pretty concerning. Wiz was supposed to be helping pick up the Eris Cult's slack in that department… had something come up?

She sighed… only for a crash to interrupt her thoughts. Her head spun towards the door, but Lorelei's suppressed laughter informed her of what was coming long before her eyes did.

Dust was dragging Megumin along, while Aqua was dragging Darkness. They trudged towards Kazuma's table, where Dust began to apologize for assuming that he had it easy.

Tanya raised an eyebrow at how smug Kazuma looked. Perhaps she should put a damper on that?

She grinned to herself, elbowing Visha as she muttered, "Watch this," as she stood up to stand directly behind the NEET, who at least appeared to be seriously considering the proposal of Dust's party, to the chagrin of Kazuma's actual party and Dust. The entire guild was staring at the proceeding, trying to keep their visible enjoyment to a minimum.

She took a deep, silent breath, and then let a face-splitting grin develop on her face as she let out some killing intent.

"Kazuma."

He turned around, his face the picture of hidden amusement for only a moment until he saw her expression. "Uh, hello, Tanya. What do you think about their offer to-"

"Is it fair for you to mock Dust so, when you were the one to compare me to a Goblin, Kazuma Satou?"

Dust's pleading stopped immediately, while Viktoriya snickered as Kazuma's pupils shrank.

"Uh-"

"Of course, maybe I should let him have a go at you for blackmailing my friend?"

He chuckled nervously as the mirthful looks he had been receiving began to turn sour. Dust rocketed up from the ground. "Yeah, you-"

"Dust, you would have done the same thing, so don't act like you have the high ground."

He deflated again, leaving Tanya to stare at Kazuma while he tried to avoid direct eye contact. "You did die recently, so perhaps I should be lenient… how does community service sound?" she asked innocently.

"If anyone other than you proposed it, I'd take the deal in a heartbeat."

She shrugged. "Oh, it isn't so bad. Once you get past having to wear a maid's dress."

"…"

His face contorted. Looking as though he'd been forced to eat a lemon with the rind still on while being told he'd be taking the night watch on the Russy in the middle of December. Disgust, discomfort, and a visceral desire to do literally anything else, thank you very much.

Tanya couldn't stop herself.

"Ha!" she laughed, "you should see your face right now! I'm going to get that framed!" she snickered. She turned away, and she could hear the sigh he let out afterwards.

He immediately began to fight with his temporary party over who had let the tidbit slip. His actual party was no longer begging for him to keep them, either.

"Please! Allow me to take your place, Kazuma! Force me to clean the whole guild while wearing a maid outfit! Oh, can it be the same size as the one you wore?"

"Hey, where do you think you're going, Aqua! You haven't finished groveling for not appreciating me!"

"Shut up, assface. I'm tired of that, so fuck off!"

"Man, this blows. I'm getting drunk."

Tanya sank back down into her seat, satisfied. Both her friends seemed…

"What?" she asked, confused.

"That's it? I expected you to make him run around in the cold, naked, or something," Lorelei muttered.

Tanya rolled her eyes. "Of course that's not it. I don't really have much blackmail on him, however. Instead, I'll ask the Succubi to help me out," she whispered.

"Ah, that makes much more sense. Get revenge on him so it can't be traced back to you."

"Truly, your intelligence knows no bounds."

She glared at the both of them – Lorelei's description of her plan, delivered in a tone flatter than Megumin, sounded only slightly less condescending than Viktoriya.

"Well, by all means. If you'd like a go at him – considering you were the one he blackmailed – then go right ahead, Visha," she offered.

The woman blushed slightly at the usage of her nickname, and Tanya grinned. Oh, what she wouldn't give-

"We've got to trail them more often. Who knows what kind of buffoonery they get up to on their own?" Lorelei said, cutting off the look the two of them had been giving each other.

Tanya laughed along and continued her discussion with Viktoriya they had been having before the others had gotten back. "Anyway, I really don't think making a tank is viable. We never got that kind of training, and I don't know who else we'd trust to get them to figure out how to work one. Besides, I think a lot of magic here could counter that sort of thing."

"What's a tank?"

"Well, it's something used to store large amounts of water, Lorelei-"

The woman raised an eyebrow. "Really? I had no idea. You guys don't know how those work?"

Viktoriya leveled a flat stare at Lorelei while Tanya snickered. "A tank is-"

"Hey."

Tanya raised an eyebrow as she looked at the boy who'd interrupted her. Kazuma shrugged. "What are you going to do to me?"

She shrugged. "Eh. Dying and having to take care of those three is enough punishment… for the most part. I promise you won't be harmed, physically or socially."

He grumbled, but he accepted it. She could respect that he at least accepted his lumps when he knew he couldn't avoid them. As he spun back around, they delved deeper into their conversation.

Later, after watching Kazuma and his friends bicker and having a few drinks and discussing how they would be traveling to the Crimson Demon Village – Lorelei was still adamantly against teleportation, which meant a caravan was their only option, considering the river that flowed through Axel wasn't connected to the Village – Luna warned everyone that the guild would close soon.

"What are you making now, Tanya?" asked Darkness as they got up to leave. Tanya smiled, waving the other two onwards towards home. "Oh, I don't have concrete ideas yet, but it shouldn't take more than a week."

Darkness nodded. "Ah, did you get the paperwork I sent you about-"

Tanya's eyes widened a bit, and she opened her shirt and brought out her newest creation.

It had taken some doing, but recreating the Silver Wings Assault Medal in gold and creating a necklace had been the best idea she could come up with for making a crest for the 'Degurechaff' family.

Darkness nodded, talking about needing a copy to register at the capital now that she was officially a Belzergian noble, and Tanya nodded absent mindedly as she left, hurrying to catch up with the other two.

"Family…" she muttered to herself. What would they be doing in the future?

Or, the far future. Decreasing Viktoriya's fighting capability so drastically while they still had so many problems wouldn't be a good idea – if they even wanted children and it was possible – of course…

But after?

Tanya sighed. After…

Would her battle with Being X ever end? If she got that wish, then… perhaps. Maybe he'd been idiotic enough to allow for the erasure of his own existence through that wish. If-

She scowled. If one in her position were to side with the Demon King, then they'd likely end up fighting Being X for much longer. And even if she got that wish, what if she couldn't kill him?

She scowled. Perhaps she could stop him from tampering with her soul? But she couldn't let him manipulate her at all, which meant she'd have to wish for protection from tampering for a lot more people.

She really needed to figure out the exact wording of her wish.

"Tanya, hurry up! It's freezing out here, and I want to warm up!"

Tanya blinked, and then she sighed, smiling softly as she caught up and grasped Viktoriya's hand with her own. It was irrational, of course – the more time she devoted to planning, the sooner she'd likely figure out a solution – but she decided she'd live in the moment.

She glanced to her side, and her smile grew as she took in Viktoriya's joyful, beaming visage. For just a little longer, she just wanted to keep… this.

For just a moment longer.

-OxOxO-

He liked to think that he was a patient being. He'd been fighting this war for decades, after all, so he could afford to be patient.

His first meeting of the day had gone swimmingly! Mammon, the head of his elite guard, had reported that the castle was still secure, and that the NEET in the basement was still content.

His next report, from his daughter, had been just as good. The generals on the front lines were still holding their own as best as could be expected, and the war had not shifted in anyone's favor. Hans had been recalled from Alcanretia after he finished with his contamination of the hot springs – he wanted to stay away from the frontlines for a while to recover from that city, and he didn't blame him.

Even better, new Reincarnates were, indeed, not appearing. He didn't have the foggiest idea of exactly how Degurechaff was involved, but he was happy with how things were.

Then the bad news started flooding in.

Ragcraft… oh, sometimes, the Demon King wished he was in the habit of killing the messenger. It would have been so cathartic.

But, as it was…

Evan was dead.

Altogether, it wasn't the worst prospect. He didn't trust the boy enough to allow him to guard him personally or to even command significant forces, but he also wasn't strong or useful enough to deploy on the front lines…

Or so he had thought.

The recounting of the battle Ragcraft's informants had given him showed a shrewd mind and a complete lack of care for the rules most Undead followed in reviving so many animals and monsters that wouldn't last for very long.

All in all, a regrettable loss… and perhaps even a preventable one. Degurechaff had apparently led the fight against him. He really did need to get a more complete picture of what kind of person she was – their relationship right now was a useful one, but he needed to get her more completely on his side or under his thumb or removed from the board before she became a problem…

He sighed… and then growled. Oh, but that hadn't been the end of the bad news, oh no.

Ragcraft had also informed him, between attempts to mitigate the Demon King's anger and save his own skin, that Alcanretia was not, in fact, on the verge of financial collapse, despite the hot springs being completely unusable as hot springs. It did not even seem as if that damnable religion had lost much of a hold on the city.

Idly, he wondered if there was some way to wipe the city off the map… but no, Wiz would not agree to such a thing, and he needed all eight of his Generals supplying energy to his barrier if it was to remain invincible – not that it wouldn't be formidable even without most of the Generals, it just wouldn't be invulnerable.

For a moment, he regretted getting a Duke of Hell involved… but he was the reason it was so powerful in the first place. Regardless of the demon's mercurial change of heart, he had signed a contract with him.

Sighing again, he shook his head and dismissed his latest meeting – discussing the logistics of the last week with some of the more intellectual minds behind his kingdom, as well as possible ways to expand into the vast grasslands to the north of his territory. Brooding, he gazed up at the mural on the wall.

Slowly, ever so slowly, the planets were moving into alignment, heralding the Anniversary. Perhaps they could end the war in but a few months…

His thoughts turned darker. Or, perhaps, things would stabilize, as they always did, and the front lines would become a stalemate once again. Still, he would win. He was playing for the long term, and no number of Hero Candidates could make up for Belzerg's leadership-

"S- Sire?"

He wanted, so desperately, to growl angrily and ask what was required of him now. It couldn't be more bad news-

His face paled. He shouldn't have thought that. Eris would…

Sighing tiredly he asked, tonelessly, what the messenger wanted.

"Ah… Mammon desired for me to inform you that… that… Lady Wolbach has left."

He blinked.

"Please repeat what you just said."

He did, and his message did not change. The Imp before him was trembling horridly, but he endeavored to keep a mask of calm acceptance in place.

"Thank you. Leave me."

The Imp did just that, backing away slowly and shutting the door slower and slower, as if he was inviting the Demon King to murder him for delivering this news.

But he didn't. He waited, patiently, for the door to close, to shut, to-

Click.

"GRRRRAAAAAH!" he shouted, flipping the table he sat at the head of. He sent spells into the ground and ceiling and slashed his sword into the walls, leaving deep gouges.

"That BITCH! She's risking EVERYTHING I've fought for- I'll fight her myself, full power or not, and I'll-"

He raged, long into the night, gnashing his teeth and trying, desperately, to figure out what the hell he would do if she died fighting Degurechaff, or if Degurechaff died and the Reincarnates began to flood in once more.

In the end, he didn't get much of a plan set up. He needed to send reinforcements to aid her, or everything he'd been planning for would go up in smoke.

-OxOxO-

Kazuma shook his head. "Why, exactly, did you want to tag along with us?" he asked again.

Tanya rolled her eyes. "I told you, I'm testing my own method of getting around down here. I figured, if you're doing the same with your Lurk and Farsight combination, I might as well come with you. Besides, with your luck, you might find something interesting in this dungeon that everyone's explored."

Of course, she was just here to ask him to let Megumin come to the Crimson Demon Village. He was their party leader, and more than that, he didn't want her becoming a nuisance that she had to deal with if he wasn't around to watch her.

He shrugged. "Alright… but why'd you bring Aqua?"

She turned to look at the grimacing figure. "What? I thought she was with you?"

"Heh. Idiot reincarnates. Easier to trick than babies, considering how many of you losers I've sent down to this rock," she muttered snidely.

Tanya turned to Kazuma, an eyebrow raised. "Has she always been such a bitch?"

"Pfft, at least I haven't killed innocent civilians."

Kazuma felt the bottom of his stomach opening up when Aqua finished her sentence, but he swallowed the brief urge to ask Tanya about that and instead decided he was better off not asking about the specifics of what a soldier did during a war. Instead, he shrugged and answered Tanya's question. "Eh, not at all. It's pretty recent too… though, you-"

"I told you, it's because something bad is happening in Alcanretia!" she shouted angrily.

"Oh?" Tanya asked. This was great! She hadn't even had to try to steer the conversation towards that city.

Her plan of attack had been, of course, to bribe him and also to mention, in vague terms, that she'd sent the Succubus who had plagued him with nightmares last night – although, he didn't seem quite as tired as she would have thought he would be…

She shrugged internally. Hopefully, he'd agree that going was a good idea.

If he hadn't agreed, well, she'd just mention that the city had hot springs and let him draw his own opinions about what parts of his companions he'd see.

Kazuma just rolled his eyes at Aqua's words. "Yeah, yeah. She claims that something's going on in that city, which is the center of her power. I don't believe her-"

"You NEET! You spent a whole day watching my hair change color!"

"Maybe that's one of your useless party tricks? Or one of the perks of being a Goddess that carried over, like your night vision?" he asked rhetorically. She only glared at him.

"Oh? And do you know what I've seen in the darkness in our stables?" she asked.

Her threat hung in the air for a moment, making the silence of the dungeon they were in all the more oppressive.

Kazuma quickly changed the subject. "Eh… and how can you see? You mentioned some way of getting around, right?" he asked Tanya.

She shrugged. "It's quite simple. While I can't see, my Observation Spells can be used to get some basic idea of our surroundings, as can my Heat Detection spell. Plus, by measuring my mana expenditure as I receive information, I can use it to calculate my distance from my surroundings to get a more complete idea," she explained.

There was a moment of stunned silence, but Tanya didn't mind. Doing things like this would have been entirely impractical while flying around in the pitch black above the Russy Federation, with how much mana it expended. Here, however, she did need to know more about her surroundings considering she couldn't assume what was around her like when flying through the air.

If nothing else, it helped to keep her skills sharp.

Kazuma made a retching sound. "I can't imagine anything that would ruin the awesomeness of magic other than math. I won't be learning that skill anytime soon, no thank you."

She rolled her eyes. "I wasn't offering. Anyway-"

She was cut off as they encountered a small, apparently demonic creature that Aqua said was a Gremlin. They dealt with it quickly and moved through the dungeon, finding a Mimic – whose imitative powers were impressive to Tanya and horrifying to Kazuma – before running into lots of undead. Aqua seemed to regain some of her 'aura of goodness' as they went through the area and sent more undead up to heaven.

Unfortunately, the conversation had strayed from the topic of travel, which meant she'd have to ask a bit more directly than she'd been planning.

"I was wondering… I need Megumin to come with us to her home so I can regain my manhood. Could you come with us?"

He sent a baffled look at her… which she couldn't see. He just sighed as Aqua snickered, presumably at Tanya. "Firstly, who the hell starts a conversation like that?"

"Secondly… why ask me?"

She explained her reasoning – he was the leader of their group and the only one willing to take on the burden of managing her and the other two – and he said he'd think it over. "Maybe it'll get Aqua to stop complaining?" he mused.

"I heard that!" Aqua screeched as she sent a group of Zombies away to heaven. Tanya just rolled her eyes, while Kazuma mulled it over.

He had spent a whole day watching Aqua's hair change color… and he doubted it was just a party trick and she was pulling some kind of long con. She'd been pretty serious, to sit there for sixteen hours just letting him stare at her.

And, to be honest, her personality really did seem to be changing… though he hadn't really known her for that long. Maybe he should have asked Eris about it when he was dead?

"Hey… I sense more undead… where is it?"

They looked at each other, and Kazuma humored the goddess by helping her look for a hidden section of the dungeon. Tanya didn't – she spent the time conversing with Kazuma and trying to convince him of the benefits of going on the trip. She was fairly certain he was going to agree with her mention of the hot springs when a part of the wall turned sideways, opening slowly.

"Is there a priest amongst you?"

-OxOxO-

"See? If I didn't have you three saddlebags, I'd probably be living it up right now with my Luck! Maybe I should become a Merchant…" Kazuma mused to himself.

Tanya rolled her eyes as the boy's friends all threatened – begged – him not to abandon them. Well…

"Stupid NEET. If you didn't have me, you never would have found Keele…" she muttered murderously. Tanya thought it was hilarious for him to abandon her, but Aqua had been angry about it, understandably.

Tanya also wondered if there was a way to weaponize the attraction the undead felt towards her. Perhaps that was why so many undead were trying to get out of the graveyard?

She shrugged. She'd been too distracted with her own projects and Visha to address that problem. She really did need to do some investigation.

She tuned in to the conversation to find that Megumin and Darkness were questioning Kazuma. "Do you really think that she isn't just doing a party trick to change her hair? Or, even, maybe she's just dying it? You have seen how colorful people's hair can be, right? Maybe the blue dye is just washing out," Darkness mused.

Kazuma shrugged. "Hey, I think that the hot springs there will soothe my body after being killed."

Tanya rolled her eyes again – she'd given him her portion of the money Keele had left behind, which was enough of an incentive for him to finally cave. She was sure that he would have eventually, but she did want to leave fairly soon, and arguing with him about it was a waste of time.

A cold breeze blew by them, and they all shivered. "Kazuma, you NEET… where are we going to stay? We'll freeze in the stables," she complained.

Darkness piped up. "If you really can't find any space, you could always stay at my mansion for the winter," Darkness offered.

Aqua scoffed. "Hah! As if I'd share my living space with a follower of Eris like you! Considering your deviancy, I wonder if we'd have to turn a blind eye to a string of depraved-"

"Aqua! Shut up! Where else are we supposed to live, you-"

"NEET! Unhand me, you little-"

"A string of depraved what, Aqua? Scoundrels who prowl the streets, looking for their next mark? Angry people upset at how the city is being run intent on taking their anger out on me? Aqua, please-"

Tanya fell back from those three and fell into step with the others who'd come with them. She heard Megumin sigh tiredly. "What would my party do without me?"

"Your party?" Viktoriya asked innocently.

"Yeah," Megumin responded, only just noticing the skeptical looks Tanya's party was shooting at her. "What? As the most powerful member of the party, I am obviously the leader."

"And… you just 'let' Kazuma do all of the paperwork and official stuff, right?" Lorelei asked.

Megumin nodded. "Of course! That sort of work is for plebeians!"

Tanya was about to take exception to that – desk work could be quite calming, especially in a hectic world like this one – but Megumin spoke again. "Anyway, when can we have our Explosion contest? I must show you the power of Explosions and get you to convert posthaste."

Tanya and Viktoriya groaned – this was all she'd talked about on the way to Keele's dungeon. It seemed this would be all she talked about on the way back as well.

"Pleh! Maybe you are changing, if the water you make is so bad! I'll just rely on my own Create Water from now on,"

"How dare you insult me, the Goddess Aqua, and the water I created! I'll tell everyone what you jack off to in the stables while whispering under your breath!"

"You aren't a goddess! I don't believe it!"

On the other hand, maybe talking about explosives would be a better conversation than whatever was going on ahead of them…

-OxOxO-

"Walter, you'll do fine. Without those four around, you'll probably even have an easier time than me!" she declared.

Walter's face became stricken, and he wilted. "Eris, please forgive us for inviting divine punishment for such a pronouncement," he muttered under his breath.

Tanya just rolled her eyes… but she wouldn't stop him. Besides, Tanya was also taking most of the people with bad luck with her, hopefully.

She looked around Walter's personal home. It was much less ostentatious than any other noble home she'd seen – undoubtedly due to his background as an actual orphan-

Her eyebrows furrowed. She should probably use her own orphaned childhood to appeal to him in the future. She made a mental note and continued her conversation.

"Now, the undead have stopped trying to get out of the graveyard," she began, briefly cursing that stupid blue-haired idiot.

She, apparently, was the cause of their increased desire to leave. Wiz had asked for Aqua's help… and she'd immediately skived on her duty, setting up some kind of holy magic to drive them out of the cemetery. They'd then come towards the town and caused lots of trouble for everyone, with the physical ones assaulting the gates of the graveyard while the more ethereal ones flew through or over the walls, necessitating a Priest to sort them out.

She mentally thanked Kazuma for the help as he continued with Walter's last briefing. "The guild's been making noise about a possible threat to the town, but it isn't likely to impact things majorly."

After another half hour of talking involving the ongoing naming of the streets, which was going swimmingly, how to deal with the guilds that got upset with the Mithril Foundation and the fact that she was no longer enforcing their monopolies legally, as well as an order to 'investigate the split in the church' that Alderp had told her about, she got up to leave.

"Oh, and the mansion?" she asked.

"Don't go in unless I need to use the weapon you constructed. It shouldn't be tampered with unless it's an emergency. You left instructions should an emergency arise," he responded immediately. She smiled.

In reality, she was letting his father out of his cell during their trip for his good behavior and help thus far. She could respect the innate desire all humans had for freedom.

Of course, that respect only extended so far, which was why the guards would be keeping watch over outside of the mansion, ostensibly in case some opportunistic thieves got too bold.

Still, Alderp would hopefully stay out of sight if Walter came for the weapon…

She didn't disregard the possibility of something unfortunate happening, but what were the chances? And besides, Walter could always send a messenger after Tanya. Teleportation services were expensive, but he was running the city; he had the money.

She left quickly, mentally preparing to deal with Kazuma and his company of clowns. Megumin had been badgering her for an Explosion contest for the past four days, while she'd been getting frequent reports of the three of them acting up. As usual.

She shook her head. All the while, she'd been… figuring out what she and Viktoriya were.

She sighed… in a completely professional manner that no one would describe as longingly. No, she wasn't imagining herself holding hands with Viktoriya, and the feeling of rubbing her thumb over her hand, and the tentative kisses they'd shared every now and then, and how the sight of Viktoriya's collarbone-

She sighed again. The sooner they got to the Crimson Demon Village, the better.

She soon arrived at the leaving point. Everyone was dressed in their winter best, ready to leave at the appointed time. At least those four could keep their appointments…

All of them had opted to save on the money and act as hired muscle for the caravan, as opposed to letting the ride be more luxurious.

Kazuma had criticized her for not spending her money more freely since she had it, but she was scrimping on every Eris she could.

Filling in the hole that Evan had created, along with disposing of the hundreds of undead creatures he'd created had cost quite a lot, and as much as she'd like to do something more productive with her money that hoard it, saving for the next inevitable crisis was necessary, in her view.

Beyond that, there was also the cost of transporting money for Megumin's father and the various materials she needed him to make into her and Viktoriya's rings, as well as a need to keep their skills sharp. She hadn't actually done much fighting since the battle with Evan, so she felt protecting the caravan would help some.

Of course, Kazuma hadn't cared for her reasoning, but to each his own, she supposed.

Aqua was crying about something, claiming Kazuma had cheated her.

She looked at Viktoriya, who merely shrugged. "She lost rock-paper-scissors to him three times in a row. She should really have learned not to challenge people in games based on luck with her stats as they are."

She and Lorelei nodded in unison, and Aqua turned on them, enraged. "Don't look down on me! I am a Goddess! I'll-"

Kazuma dragged her off, and the two parties separated onto their own wagons.

They exchanged pleasantries with the man driving the cart they were on – an apparently-former farmer named Jack with dull green hair and skin nearly as pale as Tanya's – and they settled in.

"So, which one of them do you think does their wardrobe?" Lorelei asked. Tanya merely raised an eyebrow. "Didn't you ask that when we went to the Dungeon?"

She scoffed. "Of course. But the lo- the Crimson Demon just said that she'd 'never let another impinge on her unique style,' while Darkness just said that her servants did."

Viktoriya raised an amused eyebrow. "And you take exception to that explanation?"

She grit her teeth. "Of course! To think that they could be so coordinated, by chance? I refuse to accept it!" she cried.

Viktoriya shrugged. "Eh, I don't know. I guess you could say that Aqua and Megumin are wearing matching white, while Darkness and Kazuma are wearing more fluffy clothing… I just don't see it."

She scoffed again. "Of course. I wouldn't expect foreigners to understand the impeccable taste that at least one of them has."

Tanya just shrugged. "Who cares whether they're coordinated or not. None of that looks very protective, which should be their first concern."

She felt Lorelei glaring at the side of her head. "There's more important things than whether or not you're going to die! In this world, where life is full of uncertainties, why live if you don't look and feel amazing doing it?"

Tanya merely rolled her eyes… and then she smirked. "Well, I do think that I agree that there are more important things," she said.

Without further ado, she leaned into Viktoriya's side and basked in the warmth the woman was giving off like a radiator.

Viktoriya blushed heavily, and at Lorelei's forlorn look, she rolled her eyes and warmed the woman with a spell. Lorelei sighed contently, and the three of them enjoyed the silence.

-OxOxO-

Kazuma was, frankly, bored. The leader of the caravan they were on had mentioned how slow it would be.

He hadn't known 'slow' meant 'having to stop for hours at a time.' The Snow Sprites that called this area their home didn't much care for the roads of humans, and trying to drive off of the roads was slow at worst and dangerous at best.

While Megumin had run off after Degurechaff when they'd first stopped, he, Aqua, and Darkness were watching the Snow Sprites pass while the caravan leader made small talk with him. "You should really see this place during spring! We can zip along right quick without having to worry about the Snow Sprites. Of course, we've got to deal with Hawkite Runners during the spring…"

He grimaced. Well, as long as taking things slowly ensured that they wouldn't run into the Winter Shogun again…

He sent a glare towards the caravans behind him. Instead of feeling bad for him like she was supposed to when he described his death on the way to Keele's dungeon, she'd had the gall to want to meet it herself.

He shook his head. Well, things were quiet, at least, even if the trip was slow.

"Even if the weather is shitty," Aqua said, "I'm glad we have nothing to worry about. No Liches, no haunted mansions, just peace and quiet!"

He glared at her. "And whose fault was that mansion? Besides, keep things quiet and shut your mouth before you raise anymore flags."

Before she could retort, Darkness piped up. "Um… Mr. Caravan Driver, do we have any monsters to worry about?"

He shrugged nonchalantly. "Nah. Most monsters are hibernating right now. I think there's a cave nearby where some Yeti hunt from," he said, gesturing towards a group of distant hills, "but they shouldn't be out at this time of day."

"Yeti?" Darkness asked. The leader nodded. "Yeah. Big white hairy fellas with bluish skin. Look like big monkeys. They're migratory – come down from the mountains to hunt for food and to repopulate during the winter months. Use killing intent to stun their foes and then rush in for the kill. I heard the caravans running this route last winter lost at least two dozen horses."

"Of course," he added, "don't let that trick you into thinking they won't eat people, too."

He let that ominous sentence hang in the air for a moment, while the four of them just glanced at each other.

He turned around. "Anyway! I'll be back at the cart waiting for these critters to pass."

Kazuma had to admit that at least the Snow Sprites were cute. He'd thought letting Aqua keep that one would maybe reverse the mood she'd been in, but that hadn't helped. Hopefully, seeing her precious followers would cheer her-

"After what that guy said, I've got a bad feeling…"

"I hope those Yeti's come for us. I'd have to sacrifice myself and draw them all away-"

"Ha! I'll prove it to you now, Degurechaff! I'll blow away that distant hill with just the power of my Explosion magic!"

Kazuma sighed as the hills the caravan leader had pointed at were rocked by Megumin's spell and the Snow Sprites on the road all scattered. He heard her fall over behind him, chuckling at her display. He had to admit, the contrast of the bright explosion lighting up the sky, the snowy white hills, and the gray skies was quite picturesque.

As he walked towards the irate Degurechaff and incredulous Serebryakov and picked her up, he also admitted that the howls of rage echoing from those hills made the Yetis sound much scarier than the caravan leader described.

"Hurry up! If we don't get into defensive positions-"

Oh, Hell no. He wasn't fighting Yetis.

He cast an incredulous look at Degurechaff. "Are you kidding? We can probably outrun them, right?" he asked the caravan leader. The man nodded slowly.

"Uh… perhaps? The road passes by the cave, though…" he answered uneasily. Kazuma nodded. "Then let's go now!"

Tanya opened her mouth to countermand that order… but no one was listening to her. She was not their boss, and they listened to Kazuma's idea because it was what they wanted to do anyway.

She sighed. She might be able to take them on alone – she could fly and create explosions, after all – but considering the Yeti likely had no clue what had occurred, they'd probably attack the first thing they came into contact with.

Either she'd have to get ahead of the Yetis, or she would have to risk the money and materials she was transporting being attacked.

She shook her head and grabbed Kazuma's arm as he made to jump into his caravan. "Get Megumin some energy just in case."

He nodded, and she was off, racing around their small camp that had been made, buffing the horses so they could hopefully make the run.

Then, she jumped back onto her caravan and complained. "If we don't give her that Explosion contest, I fear what the hell she'll do to Axel in retaliation."

"You're not afraid of losing, are you?" Lorelei asked. Tanya just shook her head.

"Tanya could win… she'd either have to juice the spell up or use the Type 95, though…" Viktoriya said.

"Really? I thought you were stronger than her?" Lorelei asked with mock concern lacing her voice as the wagon got rolling towards the hills at breakneck pace. Tanya, pushing her hair out of her face, heard several people – Jack included – shout about the speed of the horses while Tanya turned to her with a stony expression.

"You know, I could make you run next to us. I never did ask how you ran faster than me when we chased after those criminals trying to attack Iris, did I?" she asked.

Lorelei scoffed. She…

Hmm… well, she looked pretty serious, and with the Yeti coming, it was probably best not to risk it. "It's just one of my skills. Most regular Warriors have Swift Step, but because of my being a monsume, my skills get powered up," she explained quietly.

Tanya opened her mouth to reply – to thank her for the information, mostly – but a loud noise from the wagon in front of them, just barely discernible as the vehicles rattled forward and the snow flew past them, interrupted her thoughts.

"What do you mean they can track you? How long can they chase us for?"

A beat of silence.

"Well why didn't you say that earlier?"

Tanya turned to the man driving their own wagon. "I don't suppose you know if we can outrun the Yeti?"

He shrugged helplessly. "Probably not? But we don't need to outrun the Yeti… only the other people in the caravan," he said, a bit of manic desperation tingeing his voice.

Tanya groaned again and began to think. Running might let them live, and if she stopped feeding mana to the spells increasing the horses speed and only helped her own horse, they could escape.

"Pull up next to the caravan leader. I have a better plan," she said.

Unfortunately, she needed the Crimson Moron in the wagon in front of them to do business with her father, and if her father found out Tanya had let her die, she wouldn't get what she wanted. Furthermore, she needed Kazuma to stay alive to keep Aqua on this planet so she couldn't supply anymore Reincarnates.

And Darkness was her friend.

The man in front of her seemed to balk at the idea… until he saw her expression and did as ordered. If she was saving these clowns, then she couldn't pin all the blame on them – Megumin would say that if Tanya had only given her that damn Explosion contest, this would have never happened.

So, as the two carts came closer together, Tanya jumped, stabilizing her trajectory with a Flight Spell. It wasn't the most comfortable experience – the spells on the horses were eating through her mana – but she landed without-

"It's a Yeti! Kazuma, get it!"

She looked up in time to see Kazuma's sword hurting towards her face. She dodged it in short order and disarmed him with a quick strength enhancing spell. "What stupid a plan for surviving, to bludgeon whatever comes through the door. Thankfully, I've got a better one."

"Hey, that was Aqua's idea. I-"

"Darkness, you'll draw them to us with Decoy. When they're all grouped up, Megumin, Viktoriya, and I will destroy them in one move," she ordered.

"And what if we miss some? You three will be out of mana and we'll be stuck with all of them on us," Kazuma pointed out.

She was about to dismiss his concerns – they didn't have time for this – but she took a step back. If really didn't have a better plan, then he wouldn't interrupt. "Then what do you propose?" she asked. The howling outside was getting louder.

The caravan leader exclaimed that they'd made it past the hills, but she heard a cry of terror mixed in from the caravan she'd come from. She felt a sort of pressure weighing her down, though it wasn't anything near what Being X or even that woman were capable of.

"We go out across the snow-"

"We have no way of knowing what's out there under the snow! If we get stuck…" she said. She had been wrong-

"Just use your flight magic," he said.

She felt an eyebrow twitch. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to decouple a Flight Spell from your body for an extended period of time?!" she asked incredulously.

He answered her rhetorical question. "Nope! Go get Viktoriya, she can help, right?"

"No, you-" he didn't listen. She groaned, "I swear, if I could shoot him," under her breath, cursing his existence. Still she made it back over and explained Kazuma's plan.

As they jumped over, Viktoriya didn't look confident. She didn't bother asking if this was a good idea – if Tanya thought this plan was best, then she'd do her part.

Lorelei quickly pushed her way to the front and grabbed the driver. "Wha-"

"Come on! You aren't needed for this. Tanya's driving," she said as she picked the man up. He protested, but she went to the back of the cart and jumped across again. Their caravan began to fall back and Tanya sighed as she gripped the reins.

"Alright. Kazuma, keep giving Megumin energy. Viktoriya, make sure they don't get too close to Darkness. Darkness, use Decoy when we start going off the road. Aqua, you're the battery."

As Tanya sat down in the front, she began, very slowly, trying to cast the flight spell on the horse.

The horse, quite reasonably, started to freak out, especially as she also tried to edge the wagon off of the road.

Tanya grinded her teeth. She entertained the thought of letting the horse go and using her Flight Spells to push the wagon along… but she did not have the magic for that, and she didn't want rumors of her magic spreading.

So she continued to tighten her jaw and apply the magic to the horse. Eventually, her pushing and prodding got the thing off of the road, and her flight spells took hold.

But she could not hold them for long. She'd initially planned to take the horse in a big circle so they could get back on the road easily, but she'd have to make the circle much smaller. They'd have less time to get things done. She looked back…

To find that Darkness and Viktoriya were nowhere to be found, Aqua looked smug, Megumin was still slumped over in a chair, and Kazuma was berating the blue idiot. "What happened?! I looked away for-"

Aqua took credit. "Darkness wondered what it would feel like to be mangled by those Yeti, so I pushed her off," she said smugly.

Viktoriya landed back on the wagon confidently… with no Darkness and a rope in hand that she was struggling with.

She smiled at Aqua. "Hold this!"

She looked stupefied for only a moment. Then, the full weight of dragging Darkness behind them hit her and she struggled. Kazuma had to help her while Viktoriya dusted off her gloves and took up her rifle, aiming it behind them.

She answered Tanya's unasked question. "The Rangers among the caravan probably saw something fall off. This is a decent enough excuse. Besides…"

"It's so cold! This biting cold… oh, to be rendered helpless by the freezing temperature and then torn apart by the Yetis…"

Quiet reigned in the wagon as everyone digested what they heard for a moment… and then it was back to work.

Tanya just sighed. Kazuma managed to help Aqua with the rope and also transfer some more mana to Megumin, who gradually regained her strength. Occasionally, the wind whipping by the wagon, the howling of the Yeti's behind them, and forceful creaking of the wood around them was interrupted by another monologue by Darkness.

A distant booming sound every few seconds was Viktoriya's rifle fire, while the grumbling of the two holding the rope were almost amusing, considering Aqua had nearly gotten Darkness killed.

If something else was going on, Tanya really couldn't wonder about it considering how much mana she was having to pump through the Type 97…

What she wouldn't give for-

She shook her head and shouted as the horse stumbled. She brought her magic back into being, trying desperately to figure out what that was. She was wearing the ring, and none of her Relics were her, so how in the world was-

And then they hit the road. Tanya breathed a sigh of relief…

Unfortunately, the Yetis hadn't stopped yet, and they still weren't far enough away for Megumin to hit them with an Explosion Spell. Kazuma was squabbling with his teammates, so it fell to her to figure out how to stop them before they caught up. She didn't have enough mana to do much – that Flight spell had taken too much out of her.

"NAPALM!" she heard shouted behind her. "Megumin, they'll be sowed by the mud. That'll be your chance," Viktoriya directed.

The wave of fire had burned away the ice and turned most of it to steam, but what little water remained in the ground had turned the road into a much thicker slurry than had been there before. The Yetis couldn't avoid it in time and were dunked into the watery ground. She breathed a sigh of relief as Megumin-

Aqua chimed in, pushing the smaller girl aside. "Aha! Take this, you stupid monkeys! Sacred Create Water!"

Viktoriya's efforts were put to shame… as was the speed on their horse. The wave of water that Aqua had created was now catching up with them.

"Freeze it!" she shouted. Viktoriya and Kazuma rapidly began to do their best to stop the oncoming wave-

"Oh creatures of the howling winter awoken by my magic, to your eternal sleep my spell shall send you! Explosion!"

Briefly, Tanya wondered if these people would manage to kill her faster than Being X, just by giving her heart problems.

That was, if the wave of earth, freezing cold water, and Yeti corpses didn't kill her first.

-OxOxO-

They were not killed by the wave of water… but the wagon had not survived the encounter, which the caravan leader hadn't been happy about.

Credit to them, Kazuma had apologized for his team's behavior and promised to repay them for his losses. Unfortunately, Tanya had had to pitch in, just in case anyone decided she was partially responsible for the attack for her refusal to humor the explosion-obsessed child.

In the end, everyone had had to shift around the passengers a bit between the wagons – they had been forced to ride with a man white clothing and a purple hood who'd had a very stilted conversation with an oddly oblivious Lorelei about fashion – until they'd decided to stop for the night.

Now, Tanya was watching her friend and her… girlfriend from afar. She wasn't stalking them, of course…

"As a Crimson Demon, of course my sense of fashion is innate and impeccable! To suggest that I'd cow down and listen to the ideas of another is an insult to my very being!"

"…Sure. Darkness, did you manipulate them into choosing this clothing? I can't imagine either Aqua or Megumin being good with fashion, and while I can tolerate the more tame influences from the Erocan Didaten Ippon school of fashion, I doubt Kazuma came up with your outfits. That leaves you."

"…"

"Hey, Lalatina. Lalatina, why aren't you answering me? Did you use your position as Lalatina Ford D-"

"Stop saying my name like that, you-"

"Lorelei, are you jealous that their party has clothes that match more closely than ours?"

"…I mean, would it kill us to color coordinate? When you imagine teams of heroes from legend, do you think of them looking completely unalike, or are there themes-"

Yes, Tanya really didn't care that much about how she looked. About all she cared about was that her appearance wouldn't be considered out of place.

She heard a scoff to her right and raised an eyebrow. Kazuma had begged for some of their coffee and was sipping it next to her. He'd taken the first night shift and claimed he missed the taste.

"So what did you pay the caravan leader with? It didn't look like Eris," he said. She sighed tiredly. She had wanted to spend some time berating herself over how she'd handled the Yetis – she could have just grabbed Darkness, told her to use Decoy, and led the Yetis away, or she could have ignored Kazuma's idea. Regardless of how good his ideas might theoretically be, trusting his team to carry out his orders was a coin toss at best.

Oh well. She could impress upon him the importance of following her much more experienced lead later. "Coupons for Wiz's shop."

His eyes widened. Tanya wasn't sure if it was out of surprise or if the coffee had kicked in. "Right! I almost forgot…"

The look that crept onto his face was… concerning. She wasn't sure if she'd ever seen a more complete blend of sincerity and greed in her life. "How'd you like a business partner?"

She blinked… and raised an eyebrow. "Seriously?"

He nodded, unperturbed. "Really. I've noticed you've made quite a few things to help with the basics of life and adventuring, but I didn't see many things from the future geared towards leisure."

She raised her eyebrows. "I've made a record player and I helped the Librarian Guild with the manga they've been putting out recently," she said. The first had taken intensive research, while the latter had taken tons of time. And, of course, the weapon she had made using Forge over the last week blew both out of the water.

His mouth clicked closed… for a moment. "So, when they said that they were translated by-"

"Yes. Every single one."

He was quiet for a moment, but she simply rolled her eyes. He probably used the Succubi's services, and he was embarrassed knowing that she'd looked at the same porn he had?

Her brows furrowed. Of course, the presence of the Succubi likely hurt the sales of that particular brand of media… and although she might want to expand into other towns, the surrounding laws weren't like Axel's.

Well, that wouldn't stop it from spreading, it would just do so illicitly. Perhaps she should meet with some other governors around Axel? Perhaps Zereschrute would be amenable to the idea?

"Regardless," Kazuma said after a while, bringing her out of her musings, "I can name a million things you haven't invented yet."

She raised an eyebrow again, and he began to count them off on his fingers. "Kotatsus, bubble wrap, yo-yos, condoms, a boxing bag, deodorant, board games, dynamite, not to mention your guns-"

"First of all," she began, "I'm not letting anyone else have access to guns or any other weaponry unless I have to. And, while I am sure someone will eventually be smart enough to make a cheap imitation, I'm not willing to give it up while the Demon King is still kicking."

"Second of all… what makes you think those things will succeed here?" she asked. While she hadn't thought of everything he'd just named or likely could name, she had come to the conclusion that there weren't enough people with the disposable income to justify the creation of such… frivolous items.

He shrugged. "Hey, everything else you've made has been great. The books seem to be selling well, and more places have a record player than those that don't," he said.

She raised a skeptical eyebrow… and then shrugged. "Fine. Make something and convince me it can sell, and I'll see if Wiz is up for it," she said. He nodded happily… and then he chuckled under his breath and muttered about never having to work again.

She rolled her eyes and looked to the others-

"Shit," she said as she got up. The five of them were fighting, and she heard Kazuma rise next to her to berate his own team.

-OxOxO-

From afar, Lolisa watched them huddle by the fireside. She was quite glad she'd listened to the manager and Kazuma's conversation a few days ago.

She was stealthily following along, posing as just another girl taking a trip to Alcanretia for a bit of relaxation as relief from the cold winter.

There was no telling what kind of trouble they'd find in that place, and…

Oh, who was she kidding. She just wanted to be the first to feed on the lust and passion those two felt, and she'd won the right from the other Succubi. She had been tempted to call out to Eris, before remembering her current situation.

She sighed forlornly. Watching the way that, even now, they verbally danced around each other in the firelight was so tantalizing.

She grinned wolfishly. Of course, if they didn't do anything until they got back, then her coming here would be for naught…

So, perhaps she should do something to push them forward? She'd have to tread carefully while in Alcanretia, of course – those nutjobs were notorious – but it wasn't anything she couldn't handle… probably. Tailing them on the way to the Crimson Demon Village would also be tough, but once she got there, she could blend in with the other tourists.

And who knew? Maybe they could set up some shops in the two towns?

She sighed. A demon could dream, though.

Meanwhile, across the camp, hidden in the shadows, the man who'd been talking with Lorelei watched them, pretending to be asleep.

He had to take heart and stay true to his beliefs.

Axel was not populous enough to warrant an Archpriest, though he'd heard his actions were starting to worry the central authority in the capital. A few days ago, however, he'd been told to leave.

It was only out of respect for Zachary's work for the Cult before he'd left that they hadn't also forced him to give up his belongings… or worse, forced him to change his class.

He muttered a quick prayer to Eris in thanks. The time they had given him to prepare to leave had allowed him to choose someone to oversee those who believed in his version of the Eris Cult.

He smiled to himself as he dreamed of what it might become.

One that was not as intolerant of those who didn't follow the faith. One that believed there was more to life than its inevitable end and your ascension into Heaven. One that did not simply ignore or tolerate the Axis Cult, but actually collaborated, when the need arose. One that could rise above petty differences to end the Demon King, once and for all.

And to thank for his change in view, he had Governor Degurechaff to thank. Not just her giving the cult money, despite disliking them and not even needing to, but her casting that giant Heal those months ago. Ashley hadn't been able to get her to answer why she'd done it, and while there were all sorts of theories among those who knew, he wouldn't speculate.

He sighed. Really, he was only trailing her out of curiosity. He could have simply stayed in one of the hamlets around Axel while waiting for a chance for his fellow believers to smuggle him back in.

Perhaps, though, he could ask Degurechaff for protection outside of the town and return that way? He'd felt that his Goddess was quite focused on her, so perhaps she was trying to direct him? It was a possibility…

He smiled and snuggled into his bedding. He was happy that he'd found out the truth. Hopefully, the rest of the Eris Cult would be enlightened as well.

-OxOxO-

Later in the night, Tanya found herself on watch with Darkness. It was nice to speak to her again alone. They hadn't had much time to do that recently.

"Thank you for that Dragon Meat. I… can't say I remember if I did so on the night of my birthday," she said. Tanya had been on watch with Aqua for a time before the blue-haired imbecile had woken Darkness up.

They hadn't spoken a word, and Tanya was fine with that.

Darkness blushed in the moonlight that scattered off of their snow-dusted surroundings. "I… it was nothing. I'm honestly surprised you want such a thing."

She shrugged. "Well, it definitely didn't taste good, of course, but it raised our stats, which is what we were after," she said. She was underselling how bad it tasted, but it honestly wasn't as bad as some of the things they had been forced to consume while fighting the Russy Federation.

Tanya was about to remark about their battle with the Yetis making up for the verbal abuse Tanya hadn't directed at Darkness for the Dragon meat, but the noble spoke first. "I wonder why you don't remember whether you thanked me? Care to explain? Was there something else on your mind?" she asked, false innocence woven into her voice.

Tanya blushed at that, unable to keep a smile off of her face. "Shut up-"

"Oh… you mean, you two actually-"

"No!" she shouted. She winced and apologized to the sleeping group huddled closer to the fires strewn around the camp. She turned back to Darkness, glaring. "No, I- we didn't. We talked and decided to wait until after I get the item Megumin's father is going to make for us," she explained.

Darkness nodded. It had been quite the shock to hear about that 'Sanzai Ektsu' who'd cursed Tanya to look like she did.

Sure, at least she hadn't been cursed to look ugly or like a boy, but to be rendered young forever…

She giggled to herself. Of course, if Darkness had been cursed to look young forever, and she looked young and was weak, she wouldn't be able to do much against a horrible monster bent on-

"What are you giggling about…? Are you thinking about Kazuma?" she asked, teasingly. Darkness's face fell and she raised an eyebrow at Tanya. "Even I have standards," she said.

Tanya raised an eyebrow of her own. "Really? Do you? Lustiness? Lewdiness? Lady Lalatina the deprived?" she mocked, making Darkness blush more.

The conversation ebbed after that, for a bit. They simply looked out across the snow-covered plains and marveled at the enchanting scenery.

"Doesn't… the Eris Cult frown on relationships like mine?" Tanya asked. Darkness's face scrunched up at that.

"…Yes. But… well, I think it has more to do with opposition to the Axis Cult than any real malice," she explained. They were both quiet for a moment.

"That sounds like an excuse," Tanya pointed out, and Darkness let out a long sigh. "Perhaps. I'll ask the Priests about it when we get back, or maybe…" she said, trailing off at the end despite how resolved she'd sounded at first.

Tanya opened her mouth to continue the conversation… but Darkness didn't seem interested at the moment, so she moved on. "Have you heard anything about Elroad recently?"

Darkness raised an eyebrow. "No. I think my father mentioned that Belzerg has been getting more trade from them, but they don't really have much news until it's tax season. Why?" she asked.

Tanya shrugged. "Nothing. I just helped the King out and was wondering. Perhaps I'll drop in soon to check up on Revi…" she mused.

And perhaps not. He'd wanted to marry her last time she'd been there, so until that option was off the table – preferably when he was married and couldn't demand that she marry him – she'd just stick to keeping her ear to the ground.

They passed the rest of Tanya shift catching up, and Tanya had to admit that she enjoyed it. She wondered what her time in her last life would have been like if she'd taken more time to relax…

Of course, she didn't have that luxury back then. This world was just easier than her last.

Or, it had been up until now. Who knew how strong the Demon King was, or what Being X would do if someone in her situation decided to renounce her contract?

-OxOxO-

Darkness had been quite tense for some time now. Tanya had gone to bed, and now Lorelei was sitting next to her.

She… didn't know how to feel about her. Being Unlucky enough to become a monsume wasn't good, but she seemed to be a pretty devout follower of Eris.

There was, of course, the chance of a security risk with her – the number of monsumes that had sworn fealty to the Demon King was legendary. However, Tanya and Viktoriya trusted her. Considering both her initial judgments of Chris and Viktoriya, she didn't have the best track record on character judgement…

She snorted derisively. Of course, she wouldn't have ever guessed that Tanya believed something as silly as that there were no Gods or Goddesses.

"What's so funny?" Lorelei asked. Darkness winced… and she told her what Tanya had told her.

Lorelei, surprisingly, wasn't shocked. Considering her words carefully, she stated, "I knew, and considering her life up until now… I can't exactly say I'm surprised," she said.

Darkness was startled. Lorelei knew more about them than she did?

"And Kazuma too," she said when asked. "Of course, not in any great detail, but her past and Kazuma's have parallels."

Darkness pouted. "I know some of it, with that Sanzai Ektsu person cursing her to be young forever, but…" she trailed off as Lorelei chuckled about something.

She waved away Darkness's question, and she sighed. "I just wonder why she's so private. Of course, I know everyone has their secrets, but…"

Lorelei shrugged. "Like I said, she's got her reasons. I imagine she'll tell you eventually," she said speculatively.

They were silent for a time. Lorelei stared out across the vast plain of ice and snow, and she felt the urge to curl up and burrow into… something. The ground? A warm bed?

She scrunched up her face. She needed some noise to block out these… instincts. Thinking for a moment, she found the perfect topic and lowered her voice. "Have you heard about that new sect?" she asked.

Darkness looked scandalized. "What? You've heard the Priests! To discuss such things is a horrible crime!" she said, full of affronted shock.

Lorelei merely raised an eyebrow at the woman and her façade of horror at the impropriety. "Uh huh."

Darkness giggled. "Of course I have. They seem… interesting. Have you heard their ideas?"

Lorelei nodded. "Duh. Their leader seemed convinced, when I saw him speak. But…" she shrugged.

Darkness raised an eyebrow. "Oh? What is it? Are you really going to follow him? The Priests say that his ideas are heretical," she mused.

Again, Lorelei seemed conflicted. "I understand that… Maybe? I think he's right about a lot of what he's said about the Eris Cult being corrupt."

Darkness raised an eyebrow as Lorelei went on about some of the things she'd heard about them herself – not doing their job with the cemetery, attending to the needs of the rich and ignoring the poor except when they wanted money. She heard a few new ones too – apparently, the monsumes got an even worse treatment than the poor, and the Eris Cult had even turned the poor against the monsumes.

"But," she said, at the end of her diatribe, "while he is still a Priest and has the power to prove it, he doesn't have much else beyond that," she concluded. Darkness simply nodded. If he was right, then why hadn't Eris proven it?

"And… what about you?" Lorelei asked. Darkness shrugged. "There are problems with the Eris Cult, as there are everywhere. I'd rather see the problems fixed from the inside, rather than have people believing in Eris come to blows over the matter, but…"

She shrugged. "In the end, it isn't like he's advocating for the worship of a different Goddess."

Lorelei nodded at that, smiling as she looked out across the snowy landscape. She and Darkness might have their differences, but Lorelei thought that, in the end, things between them were fine. Certainly better than when they'd first met!

-OxOxO-

The only thing to interrupt her sleep had been an argument between Aqua, Kazuma, and the caravan leader over some sort of Zombie attack during the night. He'd been trying to refuse payment while Aqua wanted to take it. Other than that, things had been surprisingly calm.

Come the morning, Tanya was awoken by the tantalizing scent of Viktoriya's coffee. She was first in line, but as others rose, they too came to partake in Viktoriya's gift. The fact that Kazuma was second in line was a miracle, according to his teammates, because he usually slept until ten at least.

She wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt – who would waste that much of the day… but rather than denying it, he'd owned it as if it were a point of pride to be that lazy.

"I can't believe how good this tastes…" Kazuma mused as he turned to Lorelei, "hey, sexy bunny lady, does she have coffee magic skills she can teach me?"

Lorelei merely glared down at him. "No. Call me that again, and I'll get you thrown in prison," she ground out.

That started an argument, of course. She'd just been discussing a very tentative explosion competition with the explosion girl when it broke out, so she was suitably distracted when Aqua decided to play another trick.

"You- you…" she heard the broken voice of Viktoriya stutter out. She spun around to find that Aqua had-

Tanya gaped. She'd purified the coffee?! Tanya hadn't had her second cup yet!

Kazuma was now arguing with Lorelei while also trying to berate Aqua, Viktoriya was staring sadly down at the coffee, Megumin was impatiently trying to get Tanya's attention, while Darkness was nowhere to be seen doing who knew what.

Tanya sighed tiredly. She wasn't sure if she'd take this or the eastern front, if given a choice. This was much less deadly, but the latter was so, so much more simple than trying to keep everyone in this group from murdering each other.

She stood, ignoring Megumin and debating exactly how Aqua would be punished for destroying the coffee.

-OxOxO-

Aya shook her head. They should have left already with the rest of the civilians…

But no. The adventurers of Axel had been called to the guild, and as much as she wanted to leave, the fact that she attracted monsters to her meant she'd need more than just her own party around her to remain safe outside of Axel.

As it was, Luna had said that the man working as the temporary Governor while Degurechaff was gone was coming.

The guild staff had laid out the abilities of the Mobile Fortress Destroyer: It was faster than a horse, the size of a small castle, made of magical metals that would hinder physical attacks, protected by a barrier that negated all magical attacks, and protected by smaller golems that would shoot down flying attackers with ballistae as well as other golems that would fight any who landed on the gigantic golem.

With all that in mind, the idea was for the adventurers to stall for time while everyone in the city evacuated. How, exactly, they were supposed to slow down such a golem was what they were debating.

Over time, the guild staff brought down idea after idea. Digging a trap, building obstructions, and having people climb the machine and try and kill whoever was controlling it were all out, and the country that had built the thing in the first place had been destroyed and broken up after it went berserk.

She glanced to her left at Takashi. He'd initially agreed with her, that they should leave when most of the others decided to give up slowing the thing down and just run for it…

Except most people were not, in fact, leaving. That blond haired drunkard had been going around the guild and having a word with people. Something he said was getting people to stay. Even if there weren't many feasible ideas, many people were motivated, at least.

And whatever it was he was saying, it worked on Takashi, too, because he'd been sifting through Degurechaff's memories for the last fifteen minutes, searching for anything he could use to save the town.

She looked away when Takashi winced. Some of the things in her memories… well, when he claimed he couldn't do them justice with just words, she'd believed him. His attempts at doing them justice certainly frightened her.

Regardless, there wasn't much that could be done. The Eris Cult and Axis Cult claimed that even combining their powers wouldn't break the barrier around the thing, and the woman who'd given Aya that potion all those weeks ago, Wiz, said that her Explosion magic wouldn't do much if the barrier was still up. That other Reincarnate, Mitsuhide or whatever, said that even his sword might not be able to cut through it.

"Is it impossible for us to get those two parties that left back?" Aya asked. She was grasping at straws, but…

Luna shook her head. "We dispatched someone with a teleporter to Alcanretia, but we have no way of knowing if they've arrived or not. We can't count on them… and the Mage who can use teleport might not want to return to the city if the Mobile Fortress Destroyer is here…"

Aya groaned. The problem was that barrier. If it weren't there, then Wiz could hopefully destroy the legs on one of its sides, but…

"Adventurers of Axel! I need your aid! Any who are familiar with magic, follow me to the Governess's mansion! She left behind… some kind of weapon! It might aid in the fight against the Mobile Fortress Destroyer!"

Aya turned her head towards the door to see a noble-looking man standing there-

Takashi stood up. "What is the weapon?" he asked.

The noble looked troubled for a moment. "It… is like the longer of the two staffs that Lady Degurechaff and Lady Serebryakov utilize," he began, "But… it is much bigger. It is longer than two men standing atop each other."

Takashi grinned. It looked identical to Degurechaff's. "I think I can help with that."

He spun back around. "I need horses! Do everything you can to delay it!" he spun back around and ran out, followed by the noble.

Aya stood up. "Well? You heard him! We gotta slow that thing down anyway! Get to it!" she shouted, trying her hardest to seem brave and not absolutely terrified.

As the guild burst into motion, she muttered a prayer under her breath that they'd get through this somehow.

-OxOxO-

A/N 1: So much happening at once, and all of it left on a cliffhanger. As a short reminder, if you'd like to support me and my work, I have a page on the website of the Patrons. If you want to vote on what work you'd like me to update or post next week, today is the last day. Speaking of…

A/N 2: A big thank you to lekille and WarmasterOku for being Ultra Patrons.