The duty of inspecting the hot springs the next day could not, unfortunately, fall to Aqua and Darkness. The former was, apparently, now wanted by the Axis Cult for 'impersonating' an official of the church and for blasphemy and heresy.
Tanya wasn't entirely sure what it meant that it was the church, specifically, asking for her to be brought in for blasphemy or heresy or whatever while separate posters wanted her brought into the police station for questioning about inciting a riot.
Either they were one and the same and just had different reasons for wanting her off the streets, or the Cult was a separate and influential power structure that probably dwarfed the power of the local government, considering how many people in this town followed the idiotic being she was sharing a building with.
Regardless of the intricacies of Alcanretia's society, Aqua was confined to her room. Both Darkness and Kazuma were staying to keep her there – Kazuma was apparently much weaker than her, and Darkness might be convinced to let her out through promises regarding 'punishment,' but together they should be able to keep a lid on her… or so Kazuma's thinking went.
Meanwhile, The other four of them had gone around the city and figured out that the poison dispensaries were once again filled with poison, and thankful for it, too.
"Any ideas on how to get past the guards?" Tanya asked the assembled group. Aqua was still upset, but Darkness was blushing and Kazuma was refusing to look at her, which hinted at something having happened while they were gone- something Tanya had no desire to be involved with.
"I'll use my authority as an Archpriest to get in!" Aqua suggested.
"You're wanted, remember? Besides, I've got an idea," Kazuma said. He refused to elaborate afterwards, but his party decided to trust him… until he threw a cloak at Aqua and told her to put it on to hide her identity, sparking a new round of pointless bickering.
Tanya just shook her head as the group of four began to rise while arguing.
"I do wonder what exactly his plan is" she said as she, Viktoriya, and Lorelei also rose.
"What would you have us do?" asked Lorelei, curious.
Tanya shrugged. "Viktoriya and I could fly over or around them, I could use Lurk to get close to them and hit them with a Sleep spell, we could talk to the Eris Cult or the government and try to get in legally…"
Lorelei stopped and looked at the back of Tanya's head as the two of them pulled ahead of her. "And we aren't doing any of those… why?"
Tanya shrugged as they entered the lobby of their hotel. "This is their rodeo," she began, pointing to the four people leaving the hotel, "I want this done with so we can move on to the Crimson Demon Village. If Kazuma will accept the consequences of his actions with whatever idea he has, then trying to argue about it will only make things take longer."
She shrugged again and turned back to Viktoriya. They had received news from Axel that the cleanup of the Mobile Fortress Destroyer was proceeding smoothly and that there was nothing to worry about.
Lorelei shook her head and sped up. "Does he even know that there are consequences to accept?"
"We're not their parents," Viktoriya added, and after a moment, Lorelei sighed. "You're right… besides, whatever trouble they cause is bound to be hilarious."
-OxOxO-
It wasn't nearly as entertaining as they hoped it would be. Sure, Aqua's attempts at convincing the Knights before Kazuma and Megumin rolled out Darkness's nobility were somewhat amusing, but it was over quickly.
What was much less entertaining and much more time consuming was the march through the decaying foliage and snow. The amount of foliage was surprising, considering they were on a mountain trail, but it was just as dead as the flora was during her trip with Kazuma and Megumin. The snow leftover from some storm before their arrival went from unexpected to tiring in fairly short order.
"Hey, all of you! Wait, slow down! If we suddenly meet… the enemy… and are…Out of breath… how… can we fight?"
Speaking of Kazuma…
She turned to look at him again, trying her best not to look as critical as she felt on the inside. Everyone else was making do, even Megumin, whose young age and job dictated that she should be the weakest of them physically… and yet he could hardly manage?
A short argument followed, where Megumin took pity on him after looking at his Adventurer Card and said they should break, to the apparent embarrassment of Kazuma.
During the short break, they tried to plan around whatever might try to stop them from purifying the hot springs.
It turned out that, according to the Knights, the old manager had been going up to the sources of the hot springs for weeks. While he reported that the hot springs had become black, he could not find any reason for them doing so. Thus, the explanation that 'Aqua did it' was backed up by the fact that there didn't appear to be a cause.
This… was a problem. If the manager said that nothing was causing the problem, then how could it be caused by the Demon King's General?
It could be that the manager was lying, but he'd been at his job for decades, according to the Knights.
So, they made plans of attack for the situation where the slime was hiding while the manager was there and poisoning the hot springs while he was gone. Perhaps the slime had somehow tricked the manager? Maybe the old man had even become senile?
On the other hand, perhaps those Knights would report their presence to their superiors and they would have to fight the townspeople…
Eventually, after Kazuma declared they should continue, they did get back on track, following the pipes up the mountain and finding one of the sources.
"The hot spring water is completely black!" Aqua shouted as the water came into view. She ran ahead of the group and sat down next to the pool, taking a closer look.
"This is poison! I'm absolutely sure!" Tanya fought the urge to roll her eyes at the inane declaration – obviously, what else-
And then Aqua dipped her hand into the completely black hot spring.
Everyone was quiet for a moment as they looked between the pool of black liquid and the increasingly pained face of Aqua until-
"It burns! Wahhh, it's scalding! It's scalding my hand! My hand is melting!"
Kazuma ran forward, the concern on his face surprising Tanya. "You idiot! Why are you putting your hand directly into the hot spring source? Pull it out!"
Ignoring him, Aqua sniffled. "But, but! It burns!" Despite the woman's crying and the undoubtedly immense pain she was in, she still refused to pull her hand out, instead deciding to cast Purification over and over.
Kazuma groaned and held out a hand. "Freeze!"
After a moment of indecision, Viktoriya rushed forward too. "Freeze Gust!"
With a sigh, Tanya joined in and cast Heal on the woman who claimed to be a goddess.
The water seemed to cool from scalding to simply uncomfortably hot, judging from Aqua's continued sniffling. She thanked the three of them in a backhanded manner as the water became clearer and clearer.
Finally, Aqua took her hand out and healed it, and the… parts of it that showed signs of damage from the heat and the poison reverted to how they had looked minutes ago. Tanya could only blink in quiet amazement – truly, the magic of this world was ridiculous compared to her last one.
And then, Aqua began to boast of her greatness. With a sigh, Tanya began to march forward again. They had more hot springs to get to.
Three times more, they trekked up the mountain, following the pipes to their sources. Kazuma and Viktoriya would cool the water, Tanya would heal Aqua, who would purify it, and they would move on. All the while, the vegetation grew more and more sparse and torn up, while Tanya's anxiety continued to mount. As long as she had to fight, she preferred to be the one waiting for enemies to fall into a trap.
With the sun beginning to fall through the sky, they finally caught sight of the fifth pool of contaminated water… as well as someone standing in front of it. Kazuma used his Farsight, while Tanya began to use her Observation Spells.
"I see…"
Kazuma trailed off, and Tanya raised an eyebrow. "Well, the manager is there. He's not alone, though…" he explained.
"What? They would have told us about someone else coming up," Darkness said. They hurried forward…
Dressed in the layered blues and golds of the clergy of the Axis Cult, the old man certainly looked as though he prayed to Aqua. His blond hair seemed to be growing white towards its tips, while his statue was hunched over.
"Hmm? Who are all of you? How did you get past the guards?" asked the man. As he turned, they caught sight of his walking stick, gilded with gold at the bottom.
Of course, what was much more imposing than the old man were the slimes.
Laying nearly motionless in the hot spring, pouring in from over the edges of the cliff to their right and from atop the cliff to their left, and from every other crack around the clearing, were dark, purple slimes, with glowing motes of red shining from within each and every one that shone even in the middle of the day.
They poured out from behind the pipe, and they collapsed the last of the vegetation around the clearing as they consumed it and came into view.
There were… quite a lot of them. The noise, too – it sounded like a single voice repeating a hundred different words and phrases at once.
While their voices were not unified, their killing intent certainly was, and while killing intent from any one of them might have been unremarkable – especially from something with such a limited ability to think – the pressure from all of them at once was nothing to sneeze at.
As fearless as ever – and also anticipating what it would feel like to be hurt by the slime – Darkness stepped forward as Tanya readied her weapon, as did the others… except for Kazuma. This many enemies was not something she had planned for, and he sure as hell wasn't ready based on his march up, so-
"I am Lalatina Ford Dustiness. I am here to help in the purification of the hot springs." She stated this with such certainty, Tanya could almost ignore how that was directly in opposition to the wishes of the city.
"In addition, we wish to see if the poisoning of the hot springs is a result of the plot of the Demon King's army," she continued.
The man seemed shocked, for a moment, but then he nodded, his gray eyes exuding acceptance. "That sounds like quite the accusation… but I couldn't possibly refuse the order of a grand noble… though I doubt this is the work of the Demon King."
Smiling, the feeble old man gestured to the source of the hot spring with the top of his cane, speaking very softly. "Isn't it wonderful? Aqua has blessed the hot springs to dispense poison. And now, they've begun to spawn these slimes! They could be exported from Alcanretia to other Axis Cult churches, allowing us to gain even more money! The poison they dispense is incredibly valuable!"
Aqua grew more angry, muttering, "Why can't this guy speak up? I can-"
No one paid her any attention.
"Of course, I just discovered them. It'll take time before they can be treated like any old medical slimes, but if those things can be tamed, why can't these?"
Silence reigned for a moment. He sounded so… earnest. Kazuma looked between the man and Darkness, who also seemed to be at a loss for words.
"Plus, their… hunger means that a lot of the monsters around Alcanretia have been killed. While not the best for the adventurers, it is now much safer than it used to be."
Darkness turned back to Aqua, whispering loudly. "Uh… are you sure that your Goddess hasn't-"
The cloaked woman strode forward, shaking, as her hood shifted between Darkness and the manager. "You…"
She threw off the cloak, her eyes staring towards the manager with more determination than ever. "Hear me! I am Aqua, Goddess of the Axis Cult! I think I'd remember if I suddenly decided to become some dumb Goddess of Poison! As your Goddess, you'd better listen to me and get out of the way! We're purifying this hot spring, and we're killing those slimes!"
The man's eyes narrowed. "I'm afraid I can't allow that," he began. "This hot spring has been my charge for over forty years!"
A wave of killing intent rolled off of the man as his frail posture straightened up. He grasped his cane by the golden portion at the bottom, gesturing towards them menacingly.
Darkness readied her sword, and the old man grinned.
"You think I can't take on a few whippersnappers like yourselves? I've been hiking up that trail by myself this whole time! These lands used to fear the name Ezra Juab, noble berserker Axis Cultist!"
Darkness began to breathe heavily, and Kazuma sighed, getting his blinding combo ready. The tried and true tactic of blinding your opponent would probably work even better-
"Sleep."
And the old man, imposing despite his seeming frailty, collapsed like a sack of bricks as Tanya suddenly appeared beside him. Darkness made a disappointed sound at the back of her throat.
Tanya simply raised an eyebrow at them. "Fighting him on his terms seems to be an especially bad idea. If we had a bit more room, maybe we could indulge him."
"You…"
Tanya jumped back as the old man from the ground spoke up, shaking his head groggily. "To use such underhanded tricks on a poor old man-"
"Age does not remove the ability to act from someone, merely their capacity to do so meaningfully," she said.
She shook her head, yelling over the protests of the old man. "Now, anyone have any clues on how exactly to get rid of-"
"DON'T-"
"Ezraaaaaaaaa."
He winced, and the many slimes around them spoke as one. Kazuma cast a glance backwards to find that the path back down the mountain was now blocked by three slimes.
Not that he felt overly concerned. They were just slimes, after all.
"Aqua, start purifying that hot spring. We'll cover the old man and all the slime."
He found that his statement had elicited quite a bit of surprise from the people around him. Even Degurechaff and Serebryakov…
"What?" he asked. Sure, that thing with speaking together had been spooky, and there were a lot of them, but they were just slimes.
Degurechaff glared at him, irate. "Were you not listening when we planned out this encounter? I knew you were being oddly quiet, but you didn't listen to me at-"
"EZZZRRRAAAAAAAA."
The man winced. "Please, slimes, they meant nothing by it! They know not of your ability! Ignore the mewling of these feeble simpletons."
He turned back around on them, whispering furiously. "Would you shut it?! With crappy equipment like yours, you can't take this fight! No one in this city can!"
Kazuma raised his eyebrow at the old man. "Really? We've taken on an Undead Mage, Yetis, and even the Winter Shogun-"
"You just used Steal on the first one."
"We fled from the second one."
"We bowed our heads and you got your head cut off by the last one."
Kazuma prepared to blow up at his teammates, but Tanya cut in. "I'm assuming you have some perception of slimes being weak based on their portrayal in Japan?" she asked. He nodded slowly, and sighed.
The old man was talking to the slimes after Kazuma's failed speech – "Yes, of course they're nothing compared to you! They simply do not understand! They are desperate!" – while Tanya explained that slimes were dangerous in this world.
"Smaller ones may be no threat, but if they grow to a certain size, they become problematic," she began.
Darkness cut in over Tanya. "Firstly, physical attacks are useless. Their magic defense is high too. They eat anything, so it's over if they stick on to you. They can seep through the gaps in your armor, touch your skin. and dissolve you with digestive fluids. They can also block your mouth and suffocate you to death." The Crusader was breathing heavily.
Megumin continued. "If this really is the Demon King General Hans, then he's a Deadly Poison Slime. If it can contaminate the city, then touching any of those slimes probably means instant death."
Slowly, Kazuma took in this new information. Slimes were not, in fact, the weaklings he had assumed they were.
Finally, he nodded. "I propose we turn around. Aqua, you'll just have to get used to having different-"
"No fucking way you ingrate! We're here, I want to be back to my normal self-"
"Leave!"
They all jumped – the old man had snuck up on them and shouted. "I'm still a good fighter for someone pushing eighty, and my level is higher than any of you! You might be able to overcome me with sheer numbers, but you don't have that luxury against these slimes."
Tanya opened her mouth, but Kazuma agreed that this was a bad idea.
Aqua did not.
While he bickered with Aqua, the old man continued to talk. "I'd be even better if my successor was still around. I was trying to convert him, but one day, he simply disappeared."
He nodded sagely, stroking his beard. "His disappearance was the last in a line of disappearances of tourists… and when he left, the poison began. Perhaps the two are linked…"
He sighed. "Perhaps he saw the wisdom of Aqua and her poison and decided to spread the gospel? Ah, that would warm my aging heart-"
Lorelei cleared her throat, and the man blinked, shaking his head. "Ah, my apologies. Anyway, please leave. I don't think I'll be able to stop them again."
He trailed off again. "Besides, would you really deprive an old man of his conversation partner? Do you know how lonely I get out here? It almost feels like I know them…"
Kazuma heard movement behind him and saw that the slimes had disappeared. Shrugging, he started to walk away, followed by an indignant Aqua, a confused Darkness and Megumin, and the other ambivalent three.
Still, he felt the need to question the man. "Are you sure it's okay for you to befriend a Demon King General?" he asked. Sure, he knew Wiz, but she wasn't working actively to-
"Kazuma."
He blinked, looking down at Tanya. "Think about what he said."
His eyebrows furrowed, and he thought back, going over their conversation with-
His eyes widened. Right, if these slimes could kill with a single touch and do all those other things, and it was a Demon King General, would a city of Priests really be the best bet for taking them down?
Slowly, he nodded, looking back at the old man who seemed relieved. His other party members seemed to be getting the idea as well. The old man smiled. "Ah, wonderful. Now, I'd thank you to-"
"OHHH! I get it! If the slimes came down to attack Alcanretia, the whole city would perish! You're keeping them up here, away from the people?"
Kazuma felt his neck slowly inching towards where he could see Aqua. "Come to think of it, I bet those slimes have no idea that the city isn't collapsing from the poison! Otherwise, they'd just go down there. That's why you were whispering earlier too."
Although he was currently staring at the enlightened visage of Aqua, he could hear the old man sob. "Well, don't you worry! As the Goddess Aqua-"
"EZZZRRRRRRAAAAAAA!"
The old man turned back to the masses of slimes – and were they closer than they had been? – opening his mouth to try and placate them.
Then, his head swiveled to Darkness, and then to Aqua. "Truly, can you slay them?"
Kazuma opened his mouth to tell him they couldn't. Megumin's Explosion might take out some, but how the hell would they get them all? Kazuma and Darkness would be pretty useless in the fight, Aqua would be preoccupied with the hot spring, and the other three-
"Of course!"
The absolute conviction in her voice, the determination he'd glimpsed in her eyes, the steely grip she had on her staff…
Kazuma almost believed her.
But he knew something very important: Aqua was a dumbass. So, he ignored her words very easily.
Unfortunately…
The old man, who did not know that Aqua was a dumbass – which he should have learned when she called herself his Goddess – spun his head back around, grinning in a way Kazuma was fairly sure no man of the cloth should be smiling. "That's right, you bitches! I already called for help from the capital and from across the cult, but that doesn't matter with these people here! Plus, you've helped the city become more financially solvent! Poison that can kill monsters has been a way more reliable source of income than hoping tourists come into a city full of enlightened people they don't understand!"
He shouted, taunting the group of slimes by thrusting his hips into the air and blowing raspberries. He had to stop with the overt displays quickly – he was extremely old, despite his boasting about his skills – but he was still smiling smugly.
His smug smile was met with a wall of dead air. Silence reigned for a moment, and then the old man addressed them again. "You know, when I first met them, they wanted to destroy the city. I convinced them that it wouldn't be worth it, though. I'm glad the future of the city is in the hands of such reliable people as yourselves."
Silence reigned for a moment more, and then-
"AAAAAAXIS CUUUUUULT!"
"I really hate you, Aqua," Tanya said matter-of-factly.
As one, all of them turned around, leaving the old man in their wake until he got the message and ran to catch up, panting heavily.
Aqua had teared up, and Tanya ignored her automatically. She rounded on the old man, who was panting. "What information do you have on them?"
The old man seemed confused, but he answered anyway. "Uh, they operate mostly on instinct? They're not brainless, but the smaller ones just look for food and contaminate the water-"
A crash behind them interrupted him, and Tanya cast a look backwards to see the mass of slimes, rolling over themselves and each other in a race towards their enemies. They'd knocked over the pipe that led down the mountain, and it seemed like the killing intent they were giving off was only mounting.
Tanya turned to Aqua. "You! Can your Heal grow back body pieces?"
She began to tear up-
"I'm not going to dismember you, I'd cut off my own-"
"Like hell you would, fucker! I'd-" Tanya cut off Aqua's protestations by twisting the girl's arm. She cried out and almost tripped, but Tanya kept her grip on the girl and dragged her until her feet were back under her.
After a gulp at the sight of the advancing slime, she started to talk. "It can't! Kazuma, come up with one of your scummy ideas already!"
"You bitch! I'll toss you down this mountainside for getting us into this situation!"
Tanya gnashed her teeth again. "Letting them into the city isn't an option… old man! Go get help- either tell the truth or say that the wanted blue-haired woman is up here!"
He quickly rushed off, while Tanya turned and leveled her rifle at the cliffs next to them, her Type 97 finished with its calculations. "Artillery Shot!"
An explosion destroyed the mountainside and gave them – especially Kazuma – a chance to breathe while the old man hobbled away.
She took a deep breath. "Alright. If the slimes operate on instinct, then that means they just want to contaminate the water, get food, and… perhaps attack the Axis Cult? We can use that… somehow."
Kazuma opened his pack, and as she was about to snap at him. They needed ideas, not…
He held up some food. A potentially useful resource. "We got this at-"
"Don't care where you got it, get it out," she ordered, snapping at him to dispense with the superfluous details. He grumbled a bit, and Darkness whined about losing the food, but a threat to throw her down the mountainside got her to be quiet.
Tanya sighed. They had an Explosion spell, a supposed Goddess, some food, herself, and Viktoriya. None of them were full on mana thanks to the hours of hiking up the mountain and fixing the hot springs. Not a lot else they had would be worth much against something immune to physical attack…
From behind the wall of rock, they heard the slime beginning to dissolve the rock… and also slip through it. Tanya tried to block it out.
"Soap, detergent, soap, detergent, soap, detergent…"
"I can't swallow this! It would make me too clean…"
Kazuma glanced nervously at the wall while trying to think up his own plan – an Explosion might take out some of them, but Aqua would bitch about it polluting the hill, and if any of them survived – while the others were watching as smaller slimes started to come through.
"Freeze!" Kazuma shouted, freezing the cracks shut. It didn't stop the sound of the slimes, but it bought them more time… hopefully.
"SOAP, DETERGENT, SOAP, DETERGENT, DAMMIT!"
"Once this place becomes a hotbed of poison, I'll use it as a hub to…"
Tanya looked up sharply. That last part sounded important…
She listened to the ramblings of the slime more carefully, spinning up her Type 97 as she did so. She doubted anything the slimes were saying was incredibly relevant-
Her eyes opened as she looked at the ice she was straining to listen through. Wait…
She turned to Aqua. "Hey! You can make holy water just by touching it, yes?"
She nodded slowly, and Tanya smirked.
-OxOxO-
It took some doing, but enough applications of Create Water, Purification, and then Freeze and Freeze Gust got them where they needed to be, even with the afternoon sun warming the winter somewhat. An idea of Kazuma's was quickly implemented with a few very small Explosive Vaporizations along the widest part of the cliff they could get to without retreating past the other, purified hot springs.
Of course, the slimes hadn't been idle, but she and Viktoriya had continued to destroy more and more of the mountainside to block them from getting to them.
Still, by the time the slimes got to them, it was not a group of seven, ready to fight, that faced the assembled mass. Instead, it was a sheet of ice and a few dozen frozen blocks sitting on top of that ice.
Rather than going for the group of seven that was nearby, if out of view, the slimes instead quickly pushed each other onto the ice, ignoring how much less stable they were, and began to eat the ice, because food had been partially frozen inside of it.
Tanya smirked. With the purified water frozen around the food, the slimes would be forced to digest it and hopefully become weaker. As they piled onto the ice in the center, they'd start to break it and fall into the pit they'd blown into the ground.
"H- how are you still so chipper?" Lorelei chattered out. Tanya ignored how cold the woman sounded – they didn't have a drop of mana to spare on luxuries like warming spells.
That was why Kazuma, Darkness, and Aqua were all on the ground. None of them had mana left…
Or, rather, everyone but Aqua was out of mana. The girl had an absolutely insane amount of mana. She claimed it was infinite, but Tanya doubted that, if only for the sake of her sanity.
Aqua could not keep up the transfer of her mana forever, however. It seemed her physical body tired out just like anyone else, so she was sprawled out on the ground with the rest of them.
Of course, Tanya and Viktoriya still had mana. If things went pear-shaped, they needed to be able to get everyone out. More than that, they were needed for the final blow.
The food was the bait. The ice was the trap.
She glanced to her side to see Megumin reaching the end of her chant.
That was how they would destroy them.
The only problem that had arisen was the fallout. Destroying the slimes would contaminate the mountainside, and if any managed to survive the explosion…
Well, Tanya was intimately aware of what happened when you didn't confirm the death of one's enemies. A single surviving slime might be able to restart this whole thing all over again. Tanya would rather not be bothered by Aqua to help her fix the problem again, so she and Viktoriya would be ensuring none of them got away.
Viktoriya had quite a few skill points saved up, and while Tanya only had a fourth of what Viktoriya had, they agreed every bit helped and had invested those points.
Megumin thrust her staff forward, and Tanya breathed in deeply, running her Type 97, recomputing the calculations again and again in her head, until-
The ice the slimes were on began to collapse into the ground, and the mass of slime began to roil, trying to escape their cage-
"EXPLOSION!"
And right as the fiery conflagration began to bloom, ripping apart the slimes closest to it, sending purple-black flecks of slime into the air, Tanya's eyes flew open as an Active Barrier stretched to cover half of the pit in a glowing dome.
The other half was, at the same moment, covered by Viktoriya's own Active Barrier. They weren't trying to contain the power of Megumin's Explosion – Tanya didn't doubt the Type 95 or her Circlet would be needed to stop something of that magnitude – but to simply contain the fallout-
And then the explosion, a ball of burning air and fiery destruction, brushed against her shield, and Tanya felt herself sink to her knees as-
Megumin fell over.
With her fall came the end of her spell, leaving nothing but blackened dust in the crater, and Tanya breathed a sigh of relief and found herself face down next to the girl.
"Ha! Once again, I have proved-"
"Lorelei! Get over here already!"
The woman, shaking her head at the desperate tone in Tanya's voice, propped the three of them up next to the others.
"Everything in there is completely gone. That was some real fancy work you all pulled off," she complimented. Megumin went on a spiel about her abilities while Viktoriya and Tanya simply thanked her-
"Now what?" asked a certain brown-haired reincarnate.
Tanya opened her mouth to respond to the question…
Only to come up blank.
"Hmm. This area doesn't have any monsters, does it?" Tanya asked.
"Considering all those slime, I'd be surprised if there was an animal left alive on this entire mountain," Megumin said.
"Hey, check my card for me, would you? How many points do I have?" Megumin demanded. Kazuma, who had enough energy to move around a bit, simply rolled his eyes at her.
Lorelei's ears twitched. "Hey, do you hear that?" she asked.
Kazuma opened his mouth, but Viktoriya beat him to the punch. "Say a word about her and I'll get Aqua to buff me so I can fleece money off of you in a card game."
"Oh please. You'd never get away with that… any casino knows to check for signs of having your luck buffed."
"Hare-Trigger Senses."
"Then how about another competition? Shooting, perhaps?"
"Viktoriya, could you, perhaps, shoot at… me? To test how strong I am, of course. I heard from Aqua that the pain is-"
"I'd prefer some rock-paper-scissors, actually-"
"Uh oh."
The banter stopped immediately. "What is it?" Tanya asked. Lorelei's expression quickly grew panicked.
"Ah… it seems there's a large group of people coming up for us."
"Of course! We saved the town! Speaking of, can we go to that last hot spring already? I want to get this over with so I may greet my followers."
Lorelei sighed. "Well, considering the angry mob is coming up to stop us from doing that, and to put you in jail, are you sure that's what you want?"
Aqua sputtered, while Kazuma panicked. "The fuck do we do?! None of us can move except tall and fluffy-"
"What did you just-"
Tanya cut both of them off. "It's quite simple, really."
Everyone turned to her. "Lorelei will simply carry us up the mountain, we'll purify the last hot spring, and then we'll go back down. While they're trying to get past the barrier we put up, we'll sneak down, grab our stuff, and leave."
"Oh, is that all? And how will she-"
"Kazuma, give Viktoriya and I some mana. We'll buff Lorelei."
Aqua bitched about the pain while Kazuma bitched about having to move, but neither refused her order. It took quite a bit of doing, and they had to ditch the supplies they'd brought with them, but eventually-
With Kazuma and Viktoriya on her shoulders, Megumin and Tanya on top of the two of them, Darkness held in her arms and Aqua strapped to her back, they undoubtedly looked like the most ridiculous thing to have occurred in this town, besides every other idiotic Axis Cultist that called the place home.
"By Eris… if you all were any heavier-"
"What's that supposed to mean!" several irate voices called out. Still, she managed to walk forward, struggling with the weight and-
Tanya could not see them, considering she was facing forward, but she could certainly hear the increasingly riotous mob. They'd taken too much time, then.
Well, there was always plan B. "Time to fly."
"Wa-"
And then she began to apply as much force as she felt advisable when they were several times over the weight limit designed for the spell.
She quickly tuned out the assorted sounds of panic and Kazuma's shouted "Lurk!" – she and Viktoriya needed as much concentration as they could get – as they lifted off the ground and over the remains of their rocky barriers… which had also destroyed the path up the mountain and the pipes leading up to the last hot spring.
Soon enough, they all collapsed around the last tainted pool of poison. Lorelei let them all down, watching for any signs that something was waiting to ambush them.
Because, if Tanya were honest, the smartest thing to do would have been to not have all of the slimes attack them at once. If they were acting on instinct, that wasn't likely, but all it took was one surprise.
Still, it seemed nothing was coming after them, and as they all recovered some energy and prepared to purify the last pool, Tanya hoped that the Crimson Demon Village would not be quite as hectic as this town of insanity.
She wasn't confident about her odds.
-OxOxO-
Things were quiet in Alcanretia.
Thankfully, it seemed most of the city had left to attack Aqua, and those that hadn't had gone to bed as the sun went down. That meant getting their supplies loaded onto a carriage – quickly and quietly purchased by Tanya wearing a brown cloak to try and hide her identity – and then getting the hell out of the city.
"Finally, I can go back to being my old, Goddessly self again! No more icky poison to deal with. My hair will return to normal too! Ah, when my followers realize just who I am, I'll shower them with advice!"
As everyone loaded up onto the – very cramped – vehicle, Tanya sighed tiredly. They'd be tired as hell, but traveling a few hours out from the city and finding a nice forest to hunker down in while they hopefully evaded any possible pursuers sounded nice.
"Yes, the first thing I'll tell them is that Eris pads her breasts! Then-"
Finally, Tanya snapped. It had been a long night, they'd worn through their stores of mana, and this was the fourth time Aqua had said as much. That she was shouting was the last. Fucking. Straw!
"Can you stop shouting?" she asked as they came towards the gate of the city that headed west, towards the Crimson Demon Village. "I swear, if you don't stop talking about being a 'goddess' I'll… I mean, your followers have shown you how much they care about your claims."
Aqua began to tear up, and Tanya sighed happily. Finally, some peace and quiet. She presented some papers to the guards, explaining their purpose for leaving and where they were going, and placed a hand on her pouch of money, just in case.
"Honestly," she mused to the woman who'd lost a game of rock-paper-scissors to Kazuma again and had to sit out here, "you should stop. Not that there are any gods or goddesses anyway-"
The crinkling of paper reached her ears. She looked up to find the papers being presented to her.
"Ah, thank you."
"You… you don't think…"
Tanya's eyes widened. Shit.
She quickly grabbed the reins of their horses and forced them forward, applying a speed enhancing buff just in case.
Why couldn't they have just skipped this damn city of religious nutcases!?
-OxOxO-
Lolisa was enjoying this town less and less, and that was saying something, considering she hadn't really liked the place to begin with!
While the poison was gone, everyone who followed the Axis Cult were arguing with each other. Apparently, Aqua had purified the poison last night and skipped town, which was especially good, because despite the fact that the poison was supposedly gone, the water that splashed out of the canals in the city hurt more now!
The constant harassment from the clergy didn't help things either.
Regardless, the pain it was causing her wasn't something she'd endure, even for friends, which meant it was a good thing they'd already-
"I've found you!"
Her neck cracked to the left and her eyes widened. "No…"
A shaky finger was leveled in her direction. "I thought you were here as an answer to my prayer to Aqua for a demon to play- I mean, study for weaknesses. But to uproot the bedrock of Alcanretia's lifeblood?! That deserves…"
The smile he gave her terrified her more than even Tanya had.
"Extra punishment."
She took off into the air, dodging the spells sent her wait and cursing as some ice was sent through one of her wings and her cloak.
It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts-
Still, she managed to make it all the way to the walls of the city…
Her heart dropped. The doors were barred, and the guards were staring down at her.
Would she be put into a nun's habit this time? Would that insane Axis Priest attempt to have sex with a demon? How-
"With me!"
She felt herself pulled up and away from the ground where she'd fallen.
"Eh? Is-"
She wasn't sure who she had been expecting to pluck her from the ground. Perhaps a fellow Succubus. Maybe even Tanya or Viktoriya or Lorelei had known she was following them and decided to come back to save her. A small part of her even wondered, for a brief moment, if it was somehow one of the more dashing Dukes of Hell, like Vanir or-
But no.
It was the Priest.
He didn't look the part – he was dressed in something that looked like he'd grabbed it off of some old guy's clothes line – but she could tell from the energy below his skin that it was the Priest.
Words completely failed her as they ducked down an alley. He set her down behind a particularly large pile of trash and crouched down in front of her. He clasped his hands together, and she opened her mouth to bemoan her fate – she might die smelling someone's shit and listening to scripture!
"Please, Eris. Favor me, grant me the Luck to avoid their gaze so that I may continue to worship you. I beg you!"
She ignored him and began to contemplate how the hell she'd get out of here. Maybe she could cast sleep before the guards changed shifts? They'd be most tired then. She could abandon…
But, somehow, they were not found. She blinked rapidly as the Axis Cultists looked down the alley and then walked away.
"Wha… I didn't think Axis Cultists could do that," she said, unsure of what else she should say to the Priest who had not only spared her life but had probably just saved it.
As the sound of the Axis Cultists faded into the distance, he took in a deep breath and got up. "I… do not think we normally can," he said simply.
She cleared her throat and began to rise, headed towards the exit to the alley. "Ah, well… thank yo-"
"Not so fast."
She winced and turned around to find the Priest looking contemplative. She smirked and opened her mouth.
Only for him to scowl. "Eris, no I don't want whatever you're offering. What are your plans after leaving Alcanretia?"
Lolisa's mouth formed a smile while she kept herself from saying anything. She couldn't tell him she was tailing Tanya – that might get the mayor in trouble. If he started spreading rumors, she could of course spread rumors back, but…
Well, Tanya could be a lot scarier than this guy.
She shrugged. "Oh, I'm just traveling west-"
"Ah, we're headed in the same direction then."
Lolisa gulped as the man's eyes began to twinkle. "I have… a proposal."
She raised an eyebrow. As far as she was aware, it was usually the Demon who made proposals to the clergy in an attempt at corrupting them… but Eris Priests were nothing if not practical.
"I will help you escape town, and we can travel west together until we must part ways. Without a caravan to protect us, we'll surely be safer together, yes?"
That… was true. Lolisa wasn't exactly the best at fighting, and she only had so much energy she could put into her Sleep spell before she'd disappear.
There were downsides, obviously. Lolisa wouldn't be eating much traveling in his company, but she could probably make it to the Crimson Demon Village without having to feast on anyone's dreams… and it wasn't like there were many chances for eating anyway.
She'd have to trust him for that logic to hold… but he'd already given up a chance to Exorcize her, and if she thought he was up to anything fishy, then she could flee easily – flying away was a much more viable option when she wasn't inside a building.
She sighed. "I guess I'll have to… I just hope I'm not taken advantage of by someone while I lay asleep!" she cried out dramatically.
He nodded as they exited the alleyway. "Yes, that would be quite horrible. We'll have to devise a sleep schedule later," he mused.
Lolisa blinked and turned to look at him… only for his unassailable expression of concern was dropped as he snorted at her. "The Axis Cult may be deranged enough to like the look of you, little girl, but-"
Lolisa fought the urge to snap at him that she was probably older than him – she'd save that information for later, for maximum effect!
The two managed to quickly leave the city, both unaware that their partner was heading to the same place and following the same people that they were.
-OxOxO-
Sena fought the urge to shout. "What do you mean no?"
The temporary governor looked to his subordinate and Sena's superior, prompting a sigh from the aging man. "Who, exactly, would you like me to arrest?"
Sena wondered how he could even ask that question. "The Demon King General-"
"How?" he asked, and Sena rolled her eyes. "Get the adventurers and knights and guards together and-"
"Sena…" Gerrard trailed off, sighing.
"The Governess's mansion was destroyed! For that alone-"
"Sena." Gerrard's voice is now more commanding, and Sena stops talking again.
"The Coronatite that destroyed the mansion was teleported there with Random Teleport. Wiz has already testified that she and Wolbach worked together on it," he explained.
"And? We should throw her in jail too-"
"Are you insane!?" Gerrard finally snapped. Sena's expression became meek, and Gerrard shook his head.
"The letter of the law is important, but we are dealing with something of a crisis right now. We do not have many people who can stand up to the might of one of the Demon King's Generals."
Wiz spoke quietly from behind them. "Ah… if Tanya wanted me to reimburse her for the damage to her home, then I suppose…"
Walter spoke again to Wiz. "I doubt she'll feel the need for that, Wiz. You had no control over where the Coronatite went," he said to try and assuage her worries. She nodded, but Sena only became more incensed.
"Then-"
"Sena, this matter is above your pay grade. Leave it alone," Gerrard said. He didn't exactly like pulling rank of the people working under him, but they needed to focus on the problem they currently had instead of creating more headaches.
Remarkably, she did not look cowed, with her eyes narrowing. Still, she nodded stiffly and turned away from the northern gate of Axel. Gerrard just sighed as he looked out.
A sea of tents greeted his vision, but beyond them – or perhaps even within them – he knew Wolbach's forces were training.
The General had decreed that no one was allowed to come in or out of the town until the Governor came back.
The few attempts that had been made to sneak out had thus far failed. Tunnels were intercepted by demons who could sense vibration in the ground, Thieves trying to sneak out with Lurk were caught by undead, the few people who could Teleport had been kidnapped in the hours before people realized she was a threat, and even an attempt to swim out using the river was intercepted by chain nets laid under the water. If you fought when discovered, you died. If you didn't and claimed to be a civilian, you got escorted back to the city.
Of course, people were allowed in. Merchants and refugees spoke of innocuous looking outposts that hadn't been there a few days ago, staffed with 'people' wearing full plate armor with the excuse for their presence being the influx of refugees and a search for the local terrorist Chris.
As Gerrard watched the people living in the tent city begin to wake up and move about their day, Gerrard felt his heart tighten in his chest. The refugees…
The Mobile Fortress Destroyer had apparently come into Belzerg from the Kingdom of Brydle to the east. People had been flooding in for the past few days, happy to see the outposts and then terrified when they ran into Wolbach's forces.
And now the three of them were heading into the jaws of death itself.
As they exited the city and walked through the tents, he felt the eyes sticking to the three of them. Apparently, that famous charity had been working overtime to handle everyone, so much so that Walter was coordinating the city's own relief efforts with them. Even now, he could see a few of their workers moving through the tents.
Eventually, the tents stopped, and in the distance, they saw what the newcomers to the city had described.
Wolbach could not hurt any civilians. The Demon King had agreed to that, and everyone knew it. However, it seemed as if she'd come up with some workarounds.
The whole of her army was drilling on the road, and Gerrard had already heard that it was the same on every other road into Axel. They'd stop to let people in, of course, but they wouldn't stop if people tried to get out.
Gerrard saw a massive fireball bloom in the distance and he gulped. The assumption that the army made was that anyone trying to 'sneak into their camp' was an Adventurer. While Gerrard didn't know anything about the treaty other than what everyone else knew, Walter had a copy of it with him, and Wiz was also apparently knowledgeable about such things.
When they reached the edge of the training area, they were stopped by a massive, hulking demon that was wider across than Gerrard was tall. Its purple visage sneered down at them…
Until Wiz glared at the monstrosity, and it cowered from her. Gerrard himself gulped as the massive beast began to walk away – using its lengthy arms instead of its small feet and legs. He knew she used to be a rather famous, powerful adventurer, but he found it hard to reconcile-
"Wiz. The Ice Witch. How wonderful it is to meet you… formally. I have heard tell of you before, within the Demon King's ranks."
Wiz responded in kind. "Ah… it's good to meet you as well. I'm not here to talk with you though, just to protect these two."
She raised an eyebrow. "And who are you?" she demanded.
Walter stepped forward, bowing low. Gerrard followed his example. "I am Walter Barnes Alexi, the… temporary governor. I come to beseech thee."
He cleared his throat, still staring at the ground. "While Axel does have enough supplies to survive through winter, the farmers in the surrounding land still need to be reimbursed for the damage the Mobile Fortress Destroyer caused so that they can grow food in the spring."
"Additionally, the refugees that have been pouring in are hurting our supplies. If you would allow us to sell some of the adamantite salvaged from-"
"No."
"I-"
She did not let him continue. "No living thing comes out of that town until the Governess is back."
"Why?" asked Wiz. The fallen Goddess simply shook her head.
"General," began Walter, "if you absolutely require Governess Degurechaff's presence, I could simply send-"
"No."
Silence reigned, for a moment, and then Walter rushed forward, throwing himself into the dirt at her feet. "Please, I beg you! Be rational! Innocent people will-"
Wolbach lowered her staff towards Walter. "Get off me you-"
"Wolbach."
Gerrard, still facing towards the ground, felt a wave of killing intent roll by him, intimidating even though it wasn't even focused on him. He chanced a glance upward to find Wolbach staring back with an equally intense gaze.
She let out a sigh. "No one is allowed out. Innocent people could get hurt if they wandered into one of my training camps, after all."
"Why not move, then?" asked Wiz. Wolbach shrugged. "Hey, I'm the Goddess of Violence and Sloth. It was convenient to set down right here. Why should I move it when it's other people's fault they want to leave the city?"
"Of course," she added, staring at Wolbach, "if anyone would like to fight me to make me move, they are more than welcome."
Gerrard couldn't see Wiz, but he guessed the lack of sound was Wolbach calling Wiz's bluff – no matter how strong she was, she couldn't match up to a Goddess, even a fallen one.
"I grant you two leave and protect me from my forces. Wiz, stay. I wish to… hear of your exploits against the Demon King's army before I arrived."
Gerrard rose and looked at Wiz, who simply nodded. Walter picked himself up, asking her once more to reconsider, and they left, trying to figure out how they'd feed the town and keep the peace.
Wolbach watched them go and then smiled at Wiz. "I'm sorry we have to meet like this. I was so excited too, to find out that there was another Archmage among the Demon King's Generals."
"Are you taking my threat seriously?"
Wolbach fought the urge to cringe back again. The power of a Lich really was stupidly strong! "Of course."
And while they danced around each other and spoke of less important things, Wolbach hardened her resolve.
She had one mission here: she was going to kill that mangey fleabag, one way or another.
Theoretically, she could use all of her mana to create an absolutely massive Explosion. If she killed that damn cat – and considering it was apparently the size of a housecat now, it could be anywhere – then she'd become a fully fledged Goddess once more.
Unfortunately, if she couldn't destroy the entire city, and even if she killed the cat, there was no telling what would happen next. Wiz would try to kill her, of course, and Wolbach could probably win if she had all of her power.
Unfortunately, the Demon King would not appreciate her breaking the treaty. He might shred the treaty and support Wolbach against Wiz… but considering she had left against his explicit orders, he might decide that she was more trouble than she was worth and that the treaty and Wiz were more valuable.
Of course, if she didn't kill the cat, Wolbach would likely die a very painful death, as would any of her forces who tried to protect her instead of running. She may not have faced the Ice Witch, but many of her followers and the other forces of the Demon King's army spoke of a terrifying Archmage who had become strong enough to face several of the Demon King's Generals and win.
So, the question was whether she should take the fifty-fifty… against the Ice Witch.
Ha! As if!
Against the Ice Witch? Against the first human to gain the respect of Vanir in the million years that he had been a Duke of Hell? Against the Lich who'd carved through the Demon King's Barrier and single handedly defeated Hans, Sylvia, and Verdia in order to ensure her friends were not killed?
If she were backed into a corner, maybe.
But she wasn't.
Degurechaff would come back, after all, and Wolbach would try to play nice as an enemy general could until then.
She would get that cat back, with an agreement when Degurechaff came back… or without one, if that was what it came down to.
All she had to do was wait to see if things could be resolved more peacefully. And being the Goddess of Sloth, that wasn't the hardest thing in the world for her.
They parted ways with an agreement – Wolbach would take some adamantite and use it to pay for more supplies for the town.
Wolbach sighed. Of course, if things came down to a more conventional fight, things would probably go badly. She'd heard that Mitsurugi Kyouya was the one in the shining white armor who'd cut off a leg of the Mobile Fortress Destroyer, and that there was an Archpriest who might have been strong enough to dispel the barrier around that monstrosity traveling with Degurechaff.
That just meant she couldn't let a conventional fight happen, and she had quite a few tricks up her sleeve to prevent such a thing.
-OxOxO-
Gerrard and Walter saw Wiz walking over the horizon, and they waved to her. She waved back happily, running towards them and telling them of the deal she'd managed to work out.
It… wasn't great, to hand adamantite over to the Demon King's army, but they didn't have much of a choice.
"Say Wiz… how is it that you know so much about the treaty?" asked Gerrard. His eyes roaming over the tents around them saw that Wiz stopped, and he turned around, an eyebrow raised.
"Ah… well, it's…"
"Do you know the Lich?" asked Walter.
She blinked and then slowly nodded. "Yes. You could say that we know each other. I could more easily contact her and tell her about any trouble Wolbach got up to," she said.
Gerrard nodded. "Wonderful! It's too bad we can't just ask them to get rid of Wolbach, but I'm sure that you will be able to work with Degurechaff and drive her off when she comes back! She's a fool for waiting around!" he declared. He heard both of them mirror his words, and they fell into a companionable silence after that.
Wiz was panicking. Sure, she was powerful, but she hadn't had to stretch her adventuring muscles in a while! Taking on someone like Wolbach…
Well, with the help of Axel's strongest, she was sure she could win, but many adventurers would die, and a Goddess of Destruction wouldn't go down quietly. If she thought she was going to die, she might take the whole town hostage to try and save herself!
Besides, she couldn't fight until Wolbach killed a civilian… but these two didn't know that, so they'd want her to fight…
All she wanted to do was run her shop…
Walter was planning. Degurechaff may not have left any instructions on how to build that giant weapon of her's – the Biggun, he had heard the adventurers call it – but she had left maintenance manuals. The young inventor that he'd spoken with a few days ago about how best to preserve the mechanisms by which the Mobile Fortress Destroyer moved itself might be able to…
Well, Walter wasn't supposed to let it be recreated. Degurechaff had left a very explicit warning in the front of the instructions on the usage of the Biggun that it was not to be replicated. She'd made a treaty of her own with Verdia…
What they didn't know wouldn't hurt them, however. If Axel didn't need them, no one would know, and as long as the young inventor did not start 'mass producing' the things, the treaty would not have been broken.
Besides, Walter would take the blame for any fallout… not that he expected there to be any. No treaty would matter in the face of the power he had seen from that weapon.
Who cared about a few treaties when they could make enough weapons to finally win the war?
Gerrard pondered Sena. There was much to ponder about the woman, especially when it came to her looks, but he was thinking about that look.
He'd pulled rank on her and told her it was above her paygrade. He had a sinking feeling that the determined look in her eyes had been a promise to find someone to overrule him.
And the only person who could do that besides the man standing next to him in Axel was Ignis Ford Dustiness.
-OxOxO-
A/N 1: If you'd like to donate to support me monetarily, gain access to the monthly poll, and gain access to my (very long) summary of the KonoSuba Light Novels, search for Sugarcane Soldier on the website of the Patrons.
A/N 2: Many thanks to lekille, Afforess, and Twin for being Super Patrons,
And a big thank you to WarmasterOku for being an Ultra Patron.