Viktoriya licked her lips once more. It was happening again. There was nothing she could do to stop it, despite every part of her begging for the torture to end.
Paradoxically, every part of her was also begging for the torture to start, at least.
"What's wrong, Visha?" Tanya asked. Viktoriya felt her face burning away as it always did when Tanya purred that diminutive, but even the desire she felt could not overpower her resignation.
She sighed and pulled away from Tanya, sitting up and staring out across the waves dyed by the setting sun. "This is a dream."
The person she wanted more than anything raised a curious eyebrow. "I assume you don't mean that metaphorically?"
She pushed her feet into the wet sand and felt it move about as she wiggled her toes. "This is the third night in a row!"
She hadn't meant to, but she'd yelled the last part out, her arms gesturing towards the sun as if it were the problem before encircling her knees once more. Tanya opened her mouth, but Viktoriya snapped at her. "I'm not debating this with you for a second night. You managed to convince me otherwise last night, but I know for a fact we aren't anywhere near a beach like this," she mumbled into her arms.
"So… what's the problem, them? Is the thought of being with me that terrible?"
"No!" she shouted, panicked at having turned up Tanya's problems with self-worth once more… before remembering she was still in a dream and glaring at Tanya. She chuckled, and Viktoriya sighed once more. "No. I'd love to go to a beach with you – it'd make up for a missed opportunity after the François fell." She started as she had the second night.
"I just know that the moment before we get up to anything beyond what we've already done, I'll wake up," she said. It was maddening, to be just on the verge of taking that final step only to realize she'd been moaning Tanya's name in her sleep, which was made worse because Tanya was asleep right next to her.
Tanya sat down, and Viktoriya couldn't help but licked her lips again as she gazed at her superior. She felt her hand rising to feel Tanya's arms-
"I suppose you're right. I certainly don't feel like I'm in a dream, but even I have to admit that where we are doesn't make much sense," Tanya said suddenly. Viktoriya pulled her arm away and looked back out across the water.
"But if we are in a dream as you claim, why are you so cognizant?" she asked. Viktoriya shrugged her shoulders.
"I don't have a clue," she groused. Honestly, she hardly ever remembered her dreams, but the last two she could recall extremely clearly, and she had the awareness to influence her dreams.
So instead, they sat there, watching as the sun slowly sank beneath the horizon.
"You know, I never was one for watching natural phenomena. What a waste of time, to watch things happen that I knew would happen. Snow falling."
Viktoriya heard Tanya's weight shift and turned her gaze to find a pensive look on Tanya's face.
"The sun setting. Rainbows forming. But… I think, sitting next to you," she said, her eyes locking with her own, "I could watch all of them and feel every moment was worth it."
She smiled gently, her eyes closed, and Viktoriya…
She groaned again.
"Dammit… why can't this be real…"
"Right… would you prefer I be…"
She trailed off, and Viktoriya looked at her, curious.
Tanya's briefly pensive look shifted quickly into a rakish grin. "You said anything beyond what we've already done, yes?"
Viktoriya nodded. Yes, she-
Tanya's mouth opened, smug satisfaction and something more carnal creeping into her eyes-
And Viktoriya cut off whatever she'd been about to say by shoving her tongue into Tanya's mouth.
Viktoriya soon found out that she didn't need to breathe while she was dreaming. Being that she wasn't real, Tanya didn't have to either, which let them kiss for a long while.
And then, when they started to get slightly bored of that, they got… creative.
"V- Visha, I think that probably counts as- Viktoriya? Viktoriya!"
-OxOxO-
"VIKTORIYA!"
With a start, Viktoriya found herself in the waking world.
She tried to jolt up, only to find that she was unable to. She blinked the sleep away from her eyes and realized…
Ah, she was just attached to Tanya.
She laughed nervously. "Um, sorry Tanya, I was-"
"Having a good dream, I assume?" she asked sardonically. Viktoriya just nodded sheepishly. "Yes, how-"
"You… were humping my leg."
Viktoriya let out the smallest sound she ever had. "Ah," was about all she could express as her embarrassment as her arms and legs began to detangle themselves from Tanya. Perhaps they could cook breakfast on her burning fac-
"Another of those dreams, I assume?" Tanya asked. Viktoriya just nodded and Tanya shrugged as they rose for the day.
"Well, I… am also eager," she said, and Viktoriya could only grin at her ability for understatement, considering how eagerly they'd been making out last night. "But we won't have to wait much longer. Today's the day, after all…"
She trailed off looking pensive, and Viktoriya raised an eyebrow. Then Tanya frowned as she continued, "Although, getting back to Axel will take a bit, to say nothing of…"
She trailed off again, turning around to find Viktoriya looming over her with a… peculiar and understandable look in her eyes. "We have to wait longer?"
"Well, if something's happened back in Axel, then-"
"Umm… can't it wait?"
Tanya gave it a moment of thought. Nothing serious had likely happened so far – her instructions about asking her to come back in the event of any problems had been quite clear and were being followed, as the attempt to summon them back to deal with the Mobile Fortress Destroyer had shown.
She nodded. "Of course. Honestly-"
Viktoriya cut her off by absent-mindedly kissing the top of Tanya's head as she put on her jacket. "Thanks, Tanya!"
Nothing interrupted her fugue of happiness – and really, how could they kiss each other as much as they did, only for Tanya to end up nearly unresponsive from a quick peck on the head? – until she found herself seated at the table in Hyoizaburo's house and enjoying breakfast.
Across from Kazuma. "Still having trouble sleeping?" he asked.
While Viktoriya stuttered out that she hadn't, her face conveyed her embarrassment far more effectively than even her stuttering did.
And while she didn't notice, Tanya did see a flash of… something on his face while she replied.
…He had been asking her about how she'd slept. She wouldn't normally pay it much mind, except it was Kazuma who was asking. Of course, he hadn't asked them for anything that might require buttering up so far, but… still. It was Kazuma.
Without warning, Hyoizaburo entered the room for only a moment. "It should be done this afternoon." With that, he stumbled past them, swiped a wonderful breakfast of plain toast and stumbled back towards his workshop.
Nobody commented on this, besides his wife whose sigh contained both exasperation and fondness.
"Well, I suppose that I have today to myself, then-"
"A date!"
Tanya's eyes snapped to Viktoriya, whose excitement was tempered by her stare. "Er… as long as you're free, would you like to go on a date?"
Tanya smiled. "Sure, as long as I pick where we go," she countered. Viktoriya merely raised an eyebrow. "Are you going to drag me around doing work and call it a date?"
Tanya waved away her concerns. "I wasn't planning on doing that," she assured her while quietly adding, "not much, anyway."
Besides, it wasn't like the last few times they'd taken a day for themselves had gone all that well. One had ended up with her in bed, wounded after tripping over a rock, while the other had involved getting kissed by Dust.
So. Who could blame her if she wanted to finish up their business in the town?
Viktoriya was not won over by this explanation. "Well," Tanya began, trying again, "there are a few things we still need to get done. If you'd prefer we go on a date and spend even more time away from Axel afterwards-"
"Well what are you waiting for? Let's get going already!" Viktoriya shouted from the hallway towards the entrance of the building. Tanya could only blink slowly and then smile as she rose to follow her.
-OxOxO-
Tanya sighed as she looked down at the remains of what was supposed to be a potion.
After helping Chekera with sewing his clothing as he had requested – which had turned into a short lesson for her on magic and clothing given by Lorelei so that he could gauge just how much she was learning from him, which seemed to be a lot – she had been left with a cloak that looked nearly identical to all the other cloaks in the Crimson Demon village and a suggestion to attempt potion-making at the Red Prison.
Megumin was there as well. She was brushing up her own abilities in the 'art' since she hadn't had the need – or resources – to practice in Axel, which had led to her trying to teach them what she knew.
Viktoriya had taken to it… better than Tanya had, to be certain. While Viktoriya's Healing Salve had come out below the quality of Megumin's own but above what the Crimson Demons considered 'novice level,' her own attempt at an Instant Hangover Cure had literally exploded. She hadn't the foggiest idea how it had happened, and even Megumin and the potions teacher seemed mystified.
As they left the classroom, Tanya couldn't help but shrug. "I suppose you can't be good at everything."
Megumin just smirked. "And thus, my abilities prove once more that I am the superior Mage! Grovel at my feet, and perhaps I will bestow upon you some modicum of my own intelligence," she boasted.
Tanya merely rolled her eyes as Viktoriya began to defend her honor. While possibly useful, she could always buy or commission someone to make a potion if she needed it badly enough, though that would require actually knowing what potions existed, which she didn't…
Her brow furrowed. Except, she did know of a few from her time with Wiz. Being able to make her own explosive potions would be useful… unless the Mithril Foundation finally figured out the correct combination of materials were able to make actual gunpowder. Other than that, the only potions she knew about were the forbidden potion series.
As the sounds of Viktoriya and Megumin bickering washed over her, she couldn't hide the emotions welling up in her mind.
If she were the type, she probably would have shouted eureka.
The potion from that series she'd bought was a Level Reduction potion. As far as she could tell, being a higher level didn't do anything but make it harder to gain experience and, consequently, harder to gain levels and skill points. She could get more experience if she were at a lower level. If she combined the Crimson Demon's secret leveling technique with the forbidden potion series…
"Hehehe…"
She began to laugh. And since she was an Adventurer, there wasn't a skill she couldn't learn. Who knew just how much she would be able to do when she found the most broken skills she possibly could and combined them?
How many spells could she learn? How much could she improve the spells she currently had?
How strong could she make others doing this?
"Does… does she laugh like that a lot?" Megumin whispered loudly to Viktoriya.
"Only when she's got a harebrained scheme," she replied with a shrug and a sigh.
Of course, she was starting to get ahead of herself. She'd need to put this into motion when she got back. Making the production of that potion legal – assuming, of course, that lowering one's level didn't also take away skill points.
Still. The promise of a nigh-infinite amount of skill points – resources – that could be used to improve her abilities in an instant couldn't be dampened by her cautiousness. So.
She kept laughing.
"…Viktoriya, has she ever considered becoming the Demon King? I doubt even he could laugh quite that evilly."
Viktoriya remained silent, split between giving Megumin a platitude to hide the fact that they were currently still on the fence about who to support and being mad that lunch had nearly passed and she still hadn't gotten any alone time with Tanya!
Hopefully, once she stopped maniacally laughing, they could go inspect those modern-looking buildings-
-OxOxO-
"'On your own?' Don't be silly, I'm coming with you, of course. Exploring a dungeon without any information on the traps that lie within would be foolish, and to have my rival perish in such a way would be humiliating!"
"You just want to prove you're the better mage. Pretending otherwise-"
"And if I do? Be thankful I feel no need to assert my prowess over you too, balloon-tits!"
"Ba- they're not even that big! You must not have eyes if you think Darkness isn't bigger, to say nothing of… although, I suppose anything looks like a balloon when all you've got is a cutting board-"
"SAY THAT AGAIN, YOU-"
Tanya could not find much of a fault with Megumin's logic. On the other hand, considering how distracting – and annoying – she could and was currently being, Tanya felt she could argue that they might still be better off without her, whatever the risks.
Of course, the fact that Viktoriya was becoming increasingly cross every time their 'date' was intruded upon by others certainly wasn't helping her remain above the brat's verbal jabs.
They did manage to get to the place fairly quickly, or to the sign outside of the entrance, anyway. Whatever infrastructure might have once been around was long gone, leaving the sign to decay. Still, Tanya couldn't help but raise an eyebrow as she looked at it.
It looked like she imagined any sign above abandoned property would look like in this world, save for the fact that the words written on it – Norse Research Laboratory – were written in Japanese.
At Viktoriya's question about the words being Japanese, Tanya relayed what the sign said, to the surprise of Megumin. "You can read that sign?"
Tanya just nodded. "Sure. It's the language of Japan. Kazuma could read, and maybe Aqua too."
As they began to stroll forward up the rest of the hill towards the building itself, Megumin jumped ahead of them. "Hey, don't drift around so lackadaisically. There are traps, so be sure to watch your step."
Tanya just rolled her eyes. "Nothing we can't handle, I'm sure… though, I guess situations like these are where Kazuma would come in handy for once," she mused as they came within sight of the entrance.
The entire building itself did look incredibly modern. There wasn't nearly as much glass as she might have expected from such a building, but it did appear to be made of concrete and looked like one giant cube. The entrance to was modern-
Megumin began to speak, and while Viktoriya was nodding, her earlier annoyance at the presence of the girl pushed to the side in the face of potential danger… Tanya could only suppress the urge to sigh.
"This is the first trap. The door will suddenly open, but that's just to make you let your guard down, so watch out for it. It might seem very inviting, but it will close after a second."
She inched towards the door… and Tanya walked right past her towards the glass automatic doors. They opened, just as one might expect. "Would you two hurry up? It's just a glass door," she said. Both of them were staring between her and the door in trepidation, and Tanya did sigh this time.
"Viktoriya. These doors are common back in Japan. A sensor built into the door receives some kind of input and then opens automatically. It could be from a pressure sensor on the ground, or with this one it seems to be from an infrared sensor above the door," she said, pointing at the small black box above the door. She walked forward a step and it opened and then walked back a step as it closed.
"It's a convenience thing," she said as Viktoriya's trepidation abated. Tanya could only chuckle at her friend's reaction and Megumin's plea that they not let their guard down.
Still, Megumin led the way through the building. It was clear most everything had been stripped from the place – without pictures or chairs for waiting, the reception lobby and the hallways echoed ominously. Megumin spoke of the cavernous nature of the building and the identical walls being meant to confuse invaders, but when you could read the helpful, if worn away, signs posted all over the place, it wasn't any harder to get around than any other modern building…
Though, the fact that any of the signs were still readable did beg the question of exactly how long this place had been abandoned for, and if they were in Japanese, then it was built by a Reincarnate.
But why would they need all these signs, then? Had a bunch of them teamed up, or had someone taught enough people Japanese that the signs were necessary?
Eventually, after walking through the building for ten minutes while Megumin poked at every out of place thing with a stick she'd picked up outside, Megumin warned them that they shouldn't be surprised if a voice began to speak to them.
"Up ahead is a clean room. Please change into dust-proof workwear before proceeding."
"Did you two hear that? That mysterious voice is a warning. One must acquire and equip a Gustproof Workwear before carrying on. A violent gust blows at you if you enter the small room at the end. Right now it's just air, but it must have sprayed a deadly acid in the past to prevent anyone without the proper equipment from entering…"
This time, Viktoriya looked to Tanya with an expectant gaze. "If we're entering a clean room, the air sprayers are just to make sure you don't bring any contaminants into the room," she supplied.
This place kept giving her questions. What kind of work could take place in this Medieval time period that required a clean room? The only kinds of work she was aware of were for biological studies and for constructing microchips…
Tanya ignored Megumin as she blocked the air nozzles and they stepped into the clean room. Considering Chekera's gun, perhaps this was where the weapon had been made?
Then her eyes widened. It was…
"That's a fearsome trap that has resulted in a lot of casualties. A vile trap that devours anything that steps on that platform. It's currently disabled now, but don't let your guard down."
"Hey, this is like the assembly line y- er, that the Mithril Foundation set up in Axel," Viktoriya said. Tanya resisted the urge to glare at her – Megumin might be immature, but she wasn't a complete idiot. Giving people information to link her to the foundation would undermine the whole point of her involvement in the business.
Thankfully, the Crimson Demon wasn't paying attention and was instead bowing her head. Tanya just rolled her eyes and looked around the machinery… only to spot a sign. "Game… Girl production line?" she translated. What was a Game Girl?
Megumin's gaze jerked up. "You're saying that this thing uses what it has consumed to create something… Could that thing be us Crimson Demons… perhaps I've just stumbled upon a truth that should never have been revealed…"
Tanya couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Considering these machines, I highly doubt it," Tanya mused. She didn't have a clue what exactly they were for, but creating something as large as a human didn't seem feasible considering the size of the conveyor belts.
"There's… there's no need to be so considerate of my feelings, Tanya. The Crimson Demons are a man-made race that goes against the laws of the gods… I'm sure my ancestors were created right here…" she spoke quietly and somberly… as if she really did believe the words coming out of her mouth.
Tanya just groaned. "Please tell me I've never been this melodramatic before."
"Not out loud," Viktoriya said. Tanya merely raised an eyebrow in response. "And you think I have been nonverbally?"
Megumin was now inspecting the machine, poking it with her stick, while Viktoriya rolled her eyes. "Tanya, you told us we were going to cut God into pieces and feed him to the pigs. If you haven't been that melodramatic in the privacy of your mind, I'll eat my jacket."
Tanya just grumbled as Megumin let out an exclamation of surprise. "Look, another machine! What does it say here on the side…"
They both wandered over, while Tanya's eyes widened. "Oh, it's a gachapon," she said. Her partners looked to her for an explanation. "A gachapon machine gives out a capsule stored within for coins. Basically, it's a gambling machine," she explained. She hadn't ever used them in her first life – gambling was just about one of the least logical things one could do with money, after all – but seeing it here was still kind of… nostalgic.
Megumin didn't look like she really understood. "I don't quite get it, but it's a machine aimed at children, right? Then it has no relation to the creation of the Crimson Demons," she muttered.
Viktoriya, who'd been inspecting the machine, pointed out some more Japanese writing, and Tanya peered at the faded text.
"First place, prototype… Playscation? And second place is a… Game Girl Color?! And third place is Crimson Demon Modification rights…"
When Megumin moved one end of the stick towards the already faded text, muttering about 'ignoble history,' Tanya grabbed the Crimson Demon's hand and pushed her away.
"H- Hey-"
"Be quiet."
Tanya's order was heeded as she thought. Perhaps this thing was talking about some other device called a Playscation that had no relation to a Playstation, but a Game Girl Color?
She might have not been able to remember quite everything from her first life after so long, but having something like this in front of her did wonders to jog her memories, and she was completely sure it had been called a Game Boy Color.
She looked around the room again, a now-familiar smile breaking out on her face. "I think," she mused, "we've found a pretty good place for the Mithril Foundation to move into."
"Eh?"
-OxOxO-
The rest of their tour through the place – because every single time there was a trap, it turned out to be nothing – was uneventful. Tanya managed to avoid discussing just what she meant about the Mithril Foundation with Megumin by distracting her with a question about the 'BMM.'
The BMM, or Bomber Majin Moguninnin, is a mysterious monster that used to live in the facility they were exploring. It could use Detonation magic and talk in a halting imitation of human speech. Apparently no one could understand what it was saying – considering it originated within the building, assuming it spoke Japanese didn't seem impossible. Apparently it would attack anyone it sees apart from Crimson Demons, especially men with dark eyes and hair, and would unleash Detonations without any logic at night.
It also didn't leave the depths of the forest where it patrolled to ensure monsters wouldn't get too close to the village.
While she spoke about it at length, Tanya made mental notes about the place she would pass along to the Mithril Foundation. There was quite a lot of machinery in here, and while the Mithril Foundation's 'factory' didn't really have anything like it, finding some way to adapt the technology for her own needs could only be a good idea.
Even if the 'Game Girls' that that machine produced were just… handheld video game consoles, they could probably be sold to the rich and wealthy of Belzerg and beyond.
Hell, if Kazuma's plans to sell more frivolous items at Wiz's shop somehow turned a profit, perhaps they could find a market among the less wealthy, depending on how inexpensive they could be made.
Of course, none of it was set in stone. Workers would need to be found, and finding some way to restart any of the machinery would also take time, if it could be done at all. But, even if they couldn't do something quite that grand, the doors were powered by something. Whether it was electricity or Mithril or some combination of the two, the place could be torn apart for its wiring if nothing else.
On the other hand…
Well, those Game Girls were presumably made with computer chips, and Tanya had often wondered what a Computation Jewel could do if it had the processing power of a modern computer. Computation Jewels, at their most basic, were a tool used to help Aerial Mages complete spells. Despite just how damnably intricate they were, she doubted any piece of clockwork could complete her formulas faster or more efficiently than a computer constructed for the same purpose.
Tanya sighed happily. It seemed every day she spent in the town gave her more reasons to like the place in spite of its flaws-
"Well, now onto the next one. There isn't nearly-"
Ahem. Yes, in spite of its flaws.
"Sorry, Megumin, but we're going to go to this one on our own," Viktoriya asserted. Tanya nodded to signal her own support – considering just how 'dangerous' the traps there had been, whatever they would find at the second location wasn't likely to be anymore dangerous.
Megumin… merely grinned. Smugly. "Are you sure? It might be dangerous. And wouldn't you like to know about the-"
Viktoriya tried to cut her off with a glare, but Megumin merely rolled her eyes. "What kind of Mage would I be if I backed down in the face of such a weak glare?" she asked rhetorically.
Tanya just rolled her eyes. "Then what do you want? I won't say your… colorful commentary wasn't helpful, but Viktoriya and I want some time alone," she said. They only had a few hours left until her item was done, and while she'd been able to argue the man away from adding any unnecessary side effects to the item – she just wanted her dick back, she did not want the thing to turn her into a Crimson Demon or for it to give her wings or anything else.
She cleared her throat and cut off her internal tangent. "Wouldn't you rather spend time with your friends or your family?"
Megumin leveled another smirk and an outstretched arm at Tanya. "You! You must recognize me as an adult. Once you have acknowledged that fact, I will be able to prove that I am the superior Mage as well-"
"I'll show you what being an adult-"
Tanya cut off the rest of Viktoriya's Germanian words. "Megumin. Consider me… disappointed."
"Eh?"
"Trying to prove yourself to be an 'adult' in my eyes in this manner out of some bizarre desire to stroke your ego by having my verbal acceptance of such is only hurting your chances."
Megumin's previously triumphant expression had shifted from confusion to indecision.
Tanya continued on regardless. "To put it more crudely… how do you expect to force me to admit anything when you're cucking Viktoriya?"
Both of her compatriots began to blush and stammer while Tanya continued on. "If you really want to prove you're an adult, by your own or my standards, asking for a civil conversation on the subject and determining what goals you would need to reach or the price of my recognition would be far more adult."
Megumin opened her mouth… but then she stopped, thinking it over, and Tanya couldn't help but smirk. Tanya had logically laid out what an adult would do; if Megumin refused to agree with her logic in an attempt to strong arm Tanya, then she wasn't acting like an adult. If she agreed, she would have to leave them alone without getting Tanya to actually give her what she wanted.
When she seemed to marshal her courage from the defiant look on her face, Tanya's eyes narrowed. She didn't really have a lot of time for this.
"I am not ever likely to see you as my exact equal, Megumin. You can cause a bigger explosion than I can," she began, omitting the fact that she could probably beat her with her relics or Chekera's rifle, "but I can do more. I have done more."
And if her plans with the potions and the secret leveling technique went well, she would always be able to do more.
For a moment, she looked to her side and smiled. "Viktoriya is my partner and equal in a far different way, but the person who I would truly call my rival…"
She grimaced. "That woman is dead." Or she had been, but now she was a Thief looking for a way to kill her.
And then… Megumin tilted her head and squinted at them. "I… you didn't think I meant mortal enemy, did you?"
Tanya merely raised an eyebrow while Megumin continued. "I am your rival – I rival you in ability and spur you to reach ever-greater heights in your magical training! By competing, we shall reach ever-greater heights of skill and strength until we stand above the rest of the world!"
Her smirk had returned. "That is why you are my rival!"
She stared at them for a moment while Tanya fought to keep her incredulity off her face… and then she just sighed tiredly. "That isn't really my thing."
She rolled her eyes as Megumin seemed to collapse. Honestly, Being X and whatever he decided to throw at her were all the motivation she needed to chase after power.
Megumin was recovering quickly. "S- still, I refuse to back down! I may leave you alone for now, but we will, as you suggested, have a civil conversation, where you will-"
"WOULD YOU FUCK OFF ALREADY?!"
Tanya had to blink to get the ringing out of her ears after Viktoriya's magically-enhanced shout, though it had finally gotten the brat to retreat. She opened her mouth to snark at Viktoriya for how loud she'd been, but she didn't have a chance to as her partner grabbed her hand and began running towards their next destination, fighting to keep her feet under her.
When they reached the bunker… well, Tanya wasn't sure she'd call it a bunker. It certainly wasn't like any bunker she'd ever seen during the war. The concrete facade had pipes running parallel to the walls, while random bits of the edifice seemed to reach into the sky without any rhyme or reason.
The entrance to the bunker was also… odd. The closest thing she could liken it two was an elevator's door, except it seemed to be made of stone, was flush with the wall, and was surrounded by seemingly superfluous carvings. As she climbed the stair up to the door – Viktoriya having run out of breath in her rush to get here – she noticed a pedestal next to the door. She stepped closer and…
Her head tilted again. A blank screen that looked suspiciously like a computer screen was on the pedestal. The poked at it-
The screen lit up, and a keyboard appeared, along with a line of text.
Please input the Konami code
She scratched her head. Wasn't…
Wasn't that something related to video games…?
"Viktoriya, didn't you tell me that Megumin said a weapon that could destroy the world is buried here?" she shouted behind her. Her thoughts continued forward while she waited for an answer.
Her first instinct was to ask who in the hell would lock something like that behind such a paltry defense…
But she didn't need to ask. Who else would use Japanese and lock a weapon of mass destruction behind the Konami code?
Clearly, some reincarnate had built these places. How they were involved with 'Norse,' she hadn't the foggiest idea, and guessing when she didn't have a clue wasn't a good use of her time…
Yes. Guessing when she didn't have a clue.
"I'll be honest, I don't remember what this code even is," she muttered under her breath. There was, however, someone she guessed probably did remember such a useless bit of trivia.
She stood up and stretched her arms. "Do you mind if I go get Kazum-"
WHAM!
Tanya found her vision swirling as she was slammed into the closed door. She panicked, for a moment, but the lack of a follow up attack or of any hostile mana signature, as well as the familiar, calloused hands on her wrists meant that it could only be one person. Tanya opened her mouth to ask Viktoriya what she thought she was doing as her swimming vision cleared up…
Only for her eyes to widen as she stared up at Viktoriya. Tanya let out a small, nervous chuckle as Viktoriya breathed heavily. "You… have been very busy these past few days, Tanya. I know that we've got important work to do…"
She licked her lips. "But I think it can wait for a bit, don't you?"
Tanya debate-
No, Tanya did not debate anything, with herself or with Viktoriya. Wordlessly, she leaned forward, watched as Viktoriya did the same-
And, with the application of a few flight spells, spun their positions around so that it was now Viktoriya being pressed into the wall. The sudden movement had loosened her grip on Tanya's wrists, allowing Tanya to push one of Viktoriya's arm against the wall with her left hand and to cup Viktoriya's face with her right.
"I agree, Viktoriya. Work… can wait," she purred as Viktoriya's eyes widened, they leaned forward once more-
BOOM!
Tanya pauses. That…
"I… the item's done, then."
Tanya dropped down to the ground and politely ignored Viktoriya cussing enough to make an entire navy's worth of sailors blush, let alone a single seaman.
Tanya wasn't really worried about that. In a few minutes, one of the many things Being X had done to her would be reversed, if only partially.
Honestly, she hoped he was watching. It would make it all the sweeter for someone in her position when they lorded it over his head before using the wish his contract promised to make him suffer.
-OxOxO-
Tanya stared down at the wooden stick.
Oh, Hyoizaburo called it a 'Body Modification Wand,' and she had to hold it to her chest and think clearly of what she wanted to happen, but at the end of the day, it resembled nothing less than a wooden stick.
On the outside, at least. Magically, it was radiating power.
Of course, despite the power, Hyoizaburo had made it clear that there wasn't anyone in the world good enough to make an item such as this without some kind of drawback.
The larger the change, the more energy – mana – would be required. He wasn't completely sure – no one could 'peer across time' to see how she was supposed to look, so he was only guessing how much Sanzai Ektsu's curse had taken away from her. She could have shown him what she had once looked like… but she wasn't about to reveal her illusion magic for something that trivial.
Regardless, his guess was that it would take a whole month for her body to be completely returned to her.
A month.
It was dinner time now. To celebrate, they were having an 'opulent' dinner – a normal amount of food for anyone not strapped for cash. Still, the atmosphere was wonderful, even if Kazuma and his party acted… childish.
She looked down at the stick.
A month.
She had, of course, already explained to her friends. If she wanted her body back, she would be out of commission for an entire month.
That… that was a long time. A lot of time for Mary and Being X and the Demon King and Axel and everything to change. A lot of time people would have to take care of her.
Oh, her bodily functions wouldn't stop. In all likelihood, they would increase to compensate for the increased amount of energy needed to change her body.
Could she afford it?
She looked down at her right hand. The rings on her hand glittered in the light – she'd been wearing her first ring for so long she hadn't realized just how warm to the touch it constantly was – and meant her decision internally wouldn't be colored by anyone but herself.
Viktoriya had told her she just wanted her to be happy with how she looked and felt, and though she was used to and comfortable with how she looked now, all that mattered was what Tanya felt.
Lorelei had to, but Tanya couldn't help but detect the slightest hint of jealousy beneath her friend's kind words. Tanya could only promise herself she'd eventually get her friend one of these items as well. After all…
She sighed as she pushed around the food on her plate. At this point, she had spent half as long as a woman as she had a man. By that logic, she should go all the way. Even if she was out for a month, there weren't any crises in Axel or Belzerg.
On the other hand, if she was bringing logic into this, then she should stay as close to how she currently looked as she could. As unfortunate as it was, she was at least a foot and some inches shorter in this life than she had been in the last one, and that kind of difference mattered when it came to magic and pulling off the stunts she did when she was fighting. Her muscle memory would be completely shot, she'd need to retrain how she did everything because quite a number of her tactics relied on her being short to pull off.
Also, they were supposed to celebrate Viktoriya's birthday in three days.
She sighed as she pushed away her plate and left for the wagon with hardly a goodbye. At the end of the day…
She sighed again as she climbed into the wagon. At the end of the day, she hadn't been a salaryman born in Japan for over seventeen years now. Fewer changes meant she'd wake up faster.
As she settled in for the night, she contented herself with the thought that she could get another one. She would be, for Lorelei, if she wanted one. She could take all the time in the world to change once she got that wish.
As she drifted off to sleep, a firm image of the changes she wanted made in her mind, she ignored the thought that getting a second one would be much more tricky if someone in her position decided to side with the Demon King.
-OxOxO-
"HOLY SHIT IT WORKED!"
The whole of the Hyoizaburo household – if not the entire village – looked towards the excited exclamation of joy and then went about their day. Two people were not overly concerned with the noise, but one man in particular – Hyoizaburo himself – wondered why she was awake and how much could have changed in such a short amount of time. It had only been some twelve hours after all. Perhaps that was enough time for her to change her face, but…
He shrugged and continued to sip his unflavored tea. He would find out soon enough.
Indeed, the quiet morning was soon interrupted as the front door banged open and Tanya stood before them all – Megumin's family, Kazuma's party, and Tanya's party – grinning triumphantly…
When nothing had changed.
Viktoriya and Lorelei congratulated her, and she said something about hardly feeling a thing. There hadn't even been any weird dreams.
For some odd reason, Kazuma and Aqua were sitting in a corner of the room, seemingly to watch everyone else. Their expressions… she couldn't quite place them.
She shook her head and rallied enough courage to overcome her confusion. "Ah, Tanya?"
Her giddy – and Darkness could honestly say the only other time she recalled her friend being giddy was when she'd reunited with Viktoriya – friend smiled widely as she turned towards her. "Yes?"
"Why aren't you… taller?"
That was the best way she could think to phrase it. The specifics of how the item worked had been explained to all of them, and Darkness hadn't expected Tanya to be walking around for a month. Viktoriya and Lorelei's seeming confidence in her finishing faster had seemed absurd…
But apparently not?
"Why aren't your boobs any bigger?!" Megumin had chosen to express her confusion much more directly than Darkness, but the question was valid all the same.
Tanya looked… baffled. "What… do you mean?" she asked, trepidation sneaking into her question, which Darkness couldn't fathom, just like how she couldn't fathom her friend's seeming lack of change.
Yuiyui explained. "Well, you said you were cursed by Sanzai Ektsu, yes?"
Tanya nodded slowly. "Yes. I decided I can't take an entire month off. Perhaps, when Belzerg is more peaceful, I'll come back and get another Body Modification Wand, but for now, I've fixed the most important part of the problem-"
"Then why do you still look young?"
Tanya blinked owlishly at Darkness, as did her party members. "'Young?'"
Darkness nodded and found Megumin and her family nodding along. "Yes. You said you were cursed. Considering how you look, he clearly cursed you to never age."
The room was silent save for the sound that filtered through the windows. Wind in the trees, the chirping of birds, the distant sounds of Crimson Demons shouting spells.
Tanya collapsed to the ground, breathing heavily while supporting her weight on her hands and knees. In the corner, Aqua and Kazuma were fighting a desperate, losing battle to contain their laughter, understanding seemed to be dawning on Tanya, Viktoriya, and Lorelei, while Darkness, Megumin, and her family remained oblivious. What was-
"I am a man. He cursed me to look like a little girl."
This time, it seemed that even the sounds filtering into the room from outside went quiet.
Pure, perfect silence as everyone heard the words Tanya von Degurechaff had spoken, processed those words, connected the dots between that statement and 'fixing the most important part of the problem.'
"I CANNOT BELIEVE I'VE HELPED A GODDAMN NOBLE GET THEIR ROCKS OFF!"
"OUR POOR FAMILY'S HOSPITALITY ABUSED BY A PERVERT!"
"HOW THE HELL COULD YOU LIE ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!"
"I NEVER LIED! HOW DO YOU JUST ASSUME-"
"TANYA, WE'RE NOBLES! NOBLES ARE SUPPOSED TO BARE THEIR SOULS BEFORE THEIR FRIENDS, REVEAL THEIR DARKEST DESIRES-"
"KAZUMA, LOOK AT THEIR FACES! LOOK AT THEM AS THEY REALIZE-"
"I CAN'T BELIEVE I CHOOSE A LYING PERVERT AS A RIVAL-"
"I DIDN'T LIE! YOU NEVER ASKED! KAZUMA, YOU DIDN'T-"
"THEY'D NEVER HAVE BELIEVED ME!"
"TANYA, I TOLD YOU ABOUT THE MISUNDERSTANDINGS PEOPLE HAD ABOUT YOU BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU'D FIX THE PROBLEM!"
"WHY IS EVERYONE SCREAMING? WHAT DO YOU KNOW THAT I, KOMEKKO, NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ALL DO? REVEAL TO ME-"
"F- FIX THE PROBLEM! YOU'VE SWAPPED OUT YOUR-"
Pandemonium.
Kazuma and Aqua were laughing together, rolling around and pounding on the floor. Hyenas couldn't hold a candle to their cackling.
Tanya was desperately trying to explain to four different people that she hadn't lied about everything.
Darkness was in tears over the humiliation at never having realized that her friend was like that and that Kazuma and Aqua had either figured it out before her – meaning she was less observant than Aqua – or her friend had told them before her and didn't trust her, sending her into a feedback loop of masochistic pleasure.
Megumin was growing more and more despondent. Her rival was just as perverted as her teammate?
Viktoriya too was growing despondent. How could no one have realized? How had no one thought to ask? How could people walk away from week after week of conversation and knowledge and still have their worldviews so thoroughly misaligned?
Hyoizaburo and Yuiyui were gnashing their teeth over having been duped. This was the stuff of plays cautioning its audience never to take in the honeyed words of an outsider or a noble or-
Lorelei was snickering while trying to chase down Komekko, who was trying to bully the people around her into telling her what was going on.
Pandemonium.
-OxOxO-
In the end, it took another ten minutes for people to stop shouting their heads off. It probably would have gone on longer, but a neighbor had Teleported over and asked what all the ruckus was about… until they took one look at the chaos and destruction in the main living room of Hyoizaburo's home before Teleporting away again.
Everyone was sipping on coffee or tea or hot water. No one said much of anything-
"I can't believe you're that kind of noble-"
"Hyoizaburo, please. I told you, I got cursed-"
"I can't believe… my rival is…"
"Megumin, as a Chuunibyou, are you really judging-"
"My rival… never told me…"
"Darkness… honestly, considering how much you seem to be enjoying this, I think you'd resent me if I'd told you earlier."
"Kuh!"
Silence reigned once more.
"So it's a kink thin-"
"FOR THE LOVE OF-"
-OxOxO-
Today was to be the last day they spent in the town. She wanted to get back to Axel for Viktoriya's birthday – which meant they were splurging on the Teleportation service after Aqua promised to bless all of them to assuage Lorelei's fears.
It had nothing to do with the revelation – and how had this turned into a revelation? She'd assumed they'd realized what she was talking about. She was certain getting cursed to be young forever would probably be seen as a blessing by many, especially by elderly people with failing bodies and-
She took a deep breath. No, she was not starting this again.
She had already spent over an hour making sure everyone knew this wasn't a kink thing, it wasn't some noble whim, she wasn't having teenage rebellion, or any other insipid, uninspired accusations.
Now, they were preparing for the trip. Viktoriya, Lorelei, Kazuma, and Aqua were taking care of the rest of their supplies, selling them in the holiday market. Megumin was spending some time with her parents, Darkness was talking to the mayor about upper class stuff.
Tanya…
She was talking with the Diviner.
She hardly believed in a set future, especially one ordained by some higher power. People could change themselves and their so-called fate.
However, she would be hard pressed to argue against the idea that people's personalities, formed by their surroundings, would push them towards taking certain actions and away from others, as would their relationships with the people and institutions around them.
Really, Viktoriya had mentioned its presence on the travel brochure and Megumin had sworn by it while staring towards Kazuma and Aqua, so she'd give it a spin. She had a few questions she wanted to ask. She could only get an answer for one of them, but she had a feeling her first was going to wind up a dud.
Honestly, she just didn't want to get some bullshit prophecy fed to her.
She knocked on the door of the house. It had some 'spooky' motifs and writing around the front of it, but otherwise, she never would have known that it was the Diviner's shop without Megumin giving her the directions.
A shout of 'Come in!' reached her ears, and she opened the door. The dark interior reminded her faintly of Bill's blacksmithing shop, though the drawn curtains and heavy fabrics encasing the room seemed much more deliberate than the dust he'd let build up on his windows.
"Ah, our resident trial goer! She who has surpassed the expectations of the town to become-"
"Megumin said you'd have a spiel, but I'm working on a fairly condensed timetable, so could we hurry this along?"
The woman behind the counter blinked at her before grumbling and muttering an explicative under her breath. "That brat. Well, I suppose you know I am Soketto?"
Tanya nodded. "Indeed. I am Tanya von Degurechaff," she said, shaking the woman's offered hand.
Tanya sat down across from the woman as she brought out a crystal ball. Tanya glared at it for only a moment – considering just what she'd gone through the last time she'd touched something like this, she felt the glare was warranted.
"So, what is it you wish divined? Romance? Misfortune? Your luck numbers? All…"
Her speech trailed off at Tanya's pointed look, and she sighed again. "Fine, fine. I'll keep quiet for a moment… though I must admit, my intuition is whispering to me that you will accomplish extraordinary things on a scale not before seen."
Tanya blinked at that… premonition, only to shake her head and speak. "I want to know… if I will win against Sanzai Ektsu."
She nodded and leaned down towards her crystal ball… only for her eyes to grow wider and wider, until it became completely unfocused and-
She snapped up. "What? I…"
She shook her head again and looked at Tanya with wariness. "You… you haven't gotten a reading done before, have you? I'm sure Megumin told you-"
Tanya waved her hand. "Yes, yes. Can't have more than one done without consequences. I'm sure I've never had my future read."
Soketto shrugged. "Well, I didn't get much besides two lines of symbols." She brought a quill and a piece of paper from under her desk and began to scrawl out the letters.
Tanya grimaced. The first line, she recognized before she'd even finished half of it.
Deus lo Vult.
The second line written in Japanese, however, was much more confusing.
I hate you.
That… her eyebrows furrowed. That hardly seemed to be Being X's way of doing things. Perhaps it was the elder Sioux? Or, considering just how atrocious her Luck was, perhaps it was Eris?
She shrugged internally. "Alright. Since it didn't work, may I try something else?"
She nodded slowly, and Tanya asked, "If I allow Kazuma to partner with Wiz, will she continue making money?"
She… honestly, Tanya didn't have the slightest idea of whether she wanted to know how her relationship with Viktoriya would turn out. The idea that she would be told it wouldn't sent flickers of bone-deep dread coursing through her body.
But if she could not tell her if she could win against Being X, then she'd figured either a glimpse into her immediate future to help her plan or a more long-term flash were her options.
Between those, Tanya would always want to have a view of the future that gave her the most time to plan, and considering Wiz was pretty much the only outlet for her products, that point of failure was far too important to just trust that Kazuma knew what he was doing.
Soketto nodded, glimpsing once more into her crystal ball. She blinked, once or twice, and then said, "Huh."
"'Huh?'"
She straightened back up. "That venture will continue to make you money… but you're going to have really mixed feelings about it."
That… was foreboding.
How on earth could he make her regret making money?
-OxOxO-
Tanya had not expected Kazuma to finish his task so quickly.
She also hadn't expected to find him in a place called the 'Succubus Lingerie Pub,' though she wasn't exactly surprised either.
"What are you doing here?" she asked tiredly.
He grumbled. "Go away, bitch."
Tanya just rolled her eyes. "After how much laughing you did at my expense earlier? I think not. You're coming with me."
He sneered at her through his half-finished bottle of alcohol. "Nope. You've got it all and I've got-"
"If you're still upset about being told to get a girlfriend if you want one, then…"
He just sighed unhappily as he stared at the liquid swirling through the bottle. "No! I'm… not that angry at you. More upset about the past…"
He shook his head, seemingly remembering who exactly he was talking to. "What do you need me for, anyway?"
She took a seat and ordered a bit of wine to keep the owners off her case while she spoke with Kazuma. "You know that bunker where the world ending weapon is stored?"
He nodded once. "Well, in order to open it, you need the Konami code. I… don't remember it. I figured you would, and I want to get in."
He groaned. "Tanya, is it really a good idea to do that?"
Tanya opened her mouth to respond, but shouting drew her attention she turned and caught a glimpse of-
Was that…
"Lolisa, please! Come back!"
Tanya turned her gaze back to the bar she was sitting at. Lolisa…
Then, Viktoriya's dreams were from her?
Why-
"Hello, Tanya?"
Her eyes snapped to Kazuma. "What? Oh, right. Look, that gun at Chekera's? It can store something like ten hours worth of mana regeneration in it, at least. You realize just how powerful a weapon like that is, right?"
He nodded once, but she cut off the question he was about to ask. "Shut it! The problem is, I have no clue what it really is. Considering how long it's been sitting out, will it work, or will it explode in my hands and kill me? How many times can I use it before I need to do maintenance?"
"Megumin, Viktoriya and I didn't find anything important in that mysterious facility. If there are answers in this village, they're in there."
He seemed to be thinking it over, swirling the alcohol in his cup. Tanya took a sip of her own – finally delivered to her – and he finally spoke again.
"What's in it for me?"
She smirked. "I'll tell you on the way."
She turned to the bartender, ignoring Kazuma. "Hey, that girl that just left. You said her name was Lolisa?"
The man nodded quickly. "Yeah! You know her?"
Tanya nodded. "We're… friends. She works here?"
The man nodded. "Yeah, she came into town… a few days ago, maybe a week? She's been willing to dress up as a Succubus like our name suggests. Been bringing in more customers than ever!"
She thanked him and gave him a few Eris and then turned towards Kazuma as she got up. "And, to get you to come along… do you recognize the name 'Game Girl?'"
His brows furrowed, but she got up and left, quickly headed for the bunker. Maybe he'd refuse, in which case she'd have to try and break in violently, but with any luck-
"Hey, wait up! I'm not as fast as you and these Crimson Demons!"
She let him catch his breath, and then they started to walk. "Game Girl? What's that got to do with anything?"
Tanya opened her mouth… and then her own brows furrowed. "If you wouldn't mind, please explain to me what you think a Game Girl is."
He raised an eyebrow at her, but he did.
A Game Girl, according to him, was a handheld gaming device created by the company Nintendo in the 90s. There weren't many kids who didn't own one in Japan, and they played lots of games, with a notable one being Pursémon, where the trainer captured monsters in their… purses.
A Playscation? He told her a history that, again, was close to but not identical to the one she knew.
"We… are not from the same Japan."
He looked confused, so she explained the Game Boy and the Playstation to him. That the games she described matched a few she knew, but not quite.
"…Huh," was all he said, and Tanya couldn't help but concur. It was… interesting, to say the least, though she didn't think it would change anything.
"Anyway," Kazuma said, "why bring it up? And how do you know about it if you had 'Game Boys?'"
"There's an assembly line in that research facility that produced them, apparently," she said. "Maybe there are some in the bunker?"
He nodded eagerly… but then he turned and glared at her. "Hey, cut that out! I'll help you, but I've got conditions!"
She nodded. "Of course."
"First, if we find anything to sell, we have to both agree that it should be sold and we'll split the profits evenly."
She agreed readily.
"Secondly… you convince Wiz to sell whatever items I propose in her shop, full stop. I… never got around to trying to sell them here," he admitted. She let out a sigh at that – she supposed she'd find out how she could regret making money sooner than she expected.
"Thirdly…" he cast a furtive glance over his back. "You can't get mad," he began.
She raised an eyebrow.
"Okay, so those dreams-"
"So you put Lolisa up to it?"
Kazuma blinked. "You knew?"
Tanya smirked. "Not until just now. Thank you for that."
"H- Hey, I never asked why she's been tailing us."
Tanya just shook her head. "Regardless, I assume you want immunity from whatever revenge I'm now planning for her?"
He nodded quickly, and she extended a hand. "You have a deal."
He shook her hand, and she cast, "Heal." Turning back towards the road, she told him to hurry up.
"W- Wait! Heal can just get rid of hangovers?"
"Yes. You didn't know?" she asked, as if she herself hadn't also learned that fact fairly recently.
He began to mutter under his own breath about finding some way to get back at Aqua, but she ignored him. After this…
Well, she only had two things left to do. One was to make sure they were all kitted out with the best equipment money could buy. Considering just how common items were here that would sell for much, much higher anywhere else, there probably wouldn't be a better time.
Part of that included, of course, getting that gun from Chekera.
She would get it. Perhaps he would refuse all logic.
She would then have to wait – doing something rash like stealing it from him would mean an end to her relationship with the village…
Which meant she needed to get all the worth she could out of the village and then steal it.
But, he seemed to be a reasonable person, so she doubted she'd have to resort to such measures.
The second thing they would do was use that equipment. Getting a feel for just how potent their upgrades were in a fight where the stakes were relatively low would help them ensure they knew their limits when an important fight occurred.
Fortunately, she had just the target in mind.
-OxOxO-
A/N 1: And thus, Tanya once again has a penis. Hooray! If the (hilariously pedantic and unimportant) bickering I've seen within the fandom is anything to go by, some people probably don't like that, but I assume they've probably left by now considering just how much of a long time coming this has been. Hope you all enjoyed this chapter.
We finish up with the Crimson Demon Village in the next chapter and go back to Axel. Good thing nothing bad has been going on there, right?
A/N 2: In case anyone was wondering and I haven't said it up until now, I won't be writing smut. If you stuck around for this long hoping for it… oof.
A/N 3: If you'd like to donate to support me monetarily, search for Sugarcane Soldier on the website of the Patrons.
A/N 4: Thank you to WarmasterOku and Afforess for supporting this story and everything else I write.