Sasuke meets up with Orochimaru

Chapter 29: Tricky anaconda, coming down the rabbit hole

"Orochimaru."

Hearing that name felt like being doused by a bucket of ice water. Sasuke clenched his fist under the cover of his cloak, fighting to keep his face blank. "No."

"Sasuke —"

"Send someone else."

Kakashi let out a weary sigh, scrubbing his hand down his face. "Don't you think I tried? Sasuke, I failed at stopping you from going to him once. The last thing I want is to see it happen again under my orders."

Sasuke scoffed. "Did you really? Try? I don't remember seeing you on the retrieval mission."

Kakashi looked as if Sasuke had hit him. "Sasuke —"

"Whatever. It doesn't matter." Sasuke crossed his arms and averted his eyes. He hadn't meant to say that.

Sasuke could feel Kakashi's searching gaze on him and forced himself not to react.

"…You know, I wasn't expecting to teach you three. I'd succeeding at failing all of my genin teams and I thought you'd be the same. I never imagined I'd actually have to train you," Kakashi said wryly. "I wasn't prepared."

"That was obvious from the start," Sasuke lied. Admittedly Kakashi had been eccentric, but he'd seemed so much older and wiser to a group of twelve-year-olds. It had taken the benefit of hindsight for Sasuke to realize that Kakashi hadn't known what he was doing.

Kakashi huffed out a laugh. "I made the mistake of comparing you three to my own team. I saw so much of myself in you that I thought I could rewrite the past. When you left, it felt like watching myself make the same mistake all over again. Like my efforts were pointless and you were always going to leave, no matter what I did. But I should have tried harder."

When Sasuke turned to look at Kakashi, there was so much regret in the man's eyes. It soothed some old hurt Sasuke hadn't known he was still carrying. "I don't know if it would have made a difference," Sasuke admitted.

"Maybe not," Kakashi allowed, "But I told myself that I wouldn't give up on my comrades and I went back on that. The disappointment I felt, I put it on you, but I was actually disappointed in myself. Whatever similarities we shared, you're your own person, Sasuke, and I should have recognized that sooner." Kakashi looked at Sasuke, a smile crinkling the corners of his eyes. "During the bell test, you were the first one to offer Naruto your food. It took me years to learn something you had in you from the very beginning."

Startled, Sasuke immediately shook his head in denial. He was an adult. He shouldn't care about praise from an old teacher. "You're letting sentiment idealize the past," he said.

Kakashi just smiled wider, eyes slipping shut. "Mah, you're probably right. I'm acting like a sentimental old man."

"Well, you are an old man —"

"We've gotten off topic." The smile faded from Kakashi's face. "Sasuke, are you really not going to accept this mission?"

"What happens if I don't?" Sasuke challenged.

Kakashi held his gaze for a moment saying nothing. Then his shoulders dropped. "Nothing. We'll have to find another way. Even if he says otherwise, Orochimaru might talk to Tsunade-sama. Or we'll have to somehow find another lead on the identity of the nae-ROOT member. Sai wasn't able to get anything out of the shadow-user, so it might be time to resort to harsher Yamanaka techniques. And how is Hinata doing with the seal?"

Sasuke frowned. "Can I kill him?"

Kakashi blinked. "Huh?"

"Orochimaru. Do I have permission to kill him?"

Kakashi stroked his chin in thought. "There are rumblings about Orochimaru rebuilding his bases. We're not sure how many ninja he has following him and Konoha's in no shape to start a war with Otagakure, never mind that it could impact our other peace treaties. Konoha Go-Ikenban is ostensibly against his death, but with what he did to Konoha and the Sandaime, I think they'd look the other way."

Sasuke quirked a brow.

"All that to say, I would rather you didn't, but if it happens it happens," Kakashi finished with a shrug. "I can't explicitly give you a kill order."

Frankly, that was already more than Sasuke was expecting. He'd anticipated some speech about people changing their ways and killing not being the answer with maybe some scolding thrown in. Then again, Kakashi wasn't Naruto.

Speaking of… "Where's Naruto?"

"He wasn't exactly happy about this. I sent him to check on Fujiwara…and I'm hoping he'll distract Sakura. She wasn't happy about this either," Kakashi explained.

"When and where am I supposed to meet Orochimaru?"

"Tonight, 19:00. We compromised on the border between Hi no Kuni, Ta no Kuni and Yu no Kuni. The coordinates are in the mission scroll," Kakashi said, handing it over.

Sasuke accepted the scroll with a slight nod, unfurling it to check the location. Even with the rinnegan, he would need to cover a large part of it by foot. He left without a goodbye, out the window and in the courtyard in the blink of an eye.

It was dark when Sasuke got to the rendezvous point, the sun having set hours ago. The old Konoha safehouse that had been compromised and abandoned for years made for a discreet location.

Beneath the cover of his cloak, Sasuke's hand gripped the hilt of kusanagi.

Sasuke was well-versed in monsters. He'd faced his fair share. Underneath it all, most monsters still retained a shred of humanity. Some small weakness they were unable to squash.

Orochimaru was different.

In the years Sasuke spent training under the sannin, the level of cruelty and sadism he witnessed was unmatched. Not even the war had come close. Orochimaru's cold, dead eyes and ghoulish smirk as he performed his barbaric experimentations was not something Sasuke would ever forget.

As much as Orochimaru's promise of power, what had kept Sasuke around during that time was the sannin's coldblooded nature. The killing intent that had paralyzed Sasuke in the chunin exams didn't even begin to scratch the surface. And Sasuke had needed that. To face his own monster, he had needed to live with monsters, to acclimate and harden his heart. To learn to become one.

Orochimaru was more than monstrous. He was inhuman.

Reviving Orochimaru had been a decision made in desperation. Perhaps one Sasuke should have put more thought into instead of acting freely on his own selfish impulses. It had ultimately paid off, but that didn't alleviate Sasuke's ambivalence about the act.

"Sasuke-kun, you're looking well. So young and spry."

Sasuke grimaced, tightening his grip around his sword as he turned to face his former mentor.

Orochimaru's snake-like features were unsettling as ever. "Still not sleeping much, I see," he said, yellow, slitted eyes examining Sasuke's face before taking a long sweep over Sasuke's body.

"You said you have information. What is it?"

"So cold, can't you indulge your old sensei? I'm genuinely interested in your wellbeing." Orochimaru's expression twisted into concern, but his eyes were as unfeeling as ever.

"You managed to get me here. Do you really need to drag it out?"

"So hostile," Orochimaru simpered, "I told you before I'm interested in seeing the result of your different path. But you make it so hard to keep an eye on you."

Sasuke made an impatient sound in the back of his throat and Orochimaru smirked in response.

"Still not much of a conversationalist. I suppose a person can only change so much." At Sasuke's narrowed eyes, Orochimaru finally relented. "Yes, the information. Some months ago, I began receiving correspondence from someone claiming to be a student of the medical arts…an admirer of sorts. They posed some hypotheticals, asking for advice. It was all so unimaginative and pedestrian, I couldn't be bothered to respond. The most interesting thing about the letters was the origin. They were clever enough to avoid any explicit indicators, but paper made from Konoha trees has a distinct texture and scent."

"So, you knew about this for months," Sasuke noted derisively.

Orochimaru smiled, using one finger to delicately sweep his long hair to the side, revealing more of his grey-tinged skin. "I take my truce with Konohagakure very seriously," he said with a strong undercurrent of mockery. "I understand you're very busy with rebuilding. How could I take up Konoha-nins' precious time with a few overzealous fan letters. But when your Hokage reached out, they suddenly came to mind."

"You brought the letters?" Sasuke guessed.

Reaching into his coat, Orochimaru pulled out a bundle of envelopes. He held them out between them, a taunting glint in his eyes.

Sasuke made no attempt to hide his distaste. He snatched the letters out of Orochimaru's hand, avoiding skin contact.

Orochimaru simply smirked. "I'm not your enemy, Sasuke-kun. We're on the same side. Not for the first time."

"You may have decided to play at being 'good' now, but that doesn't change anything," Sasuke said shortly.

Holding up his hands in the air, Orochimaru said, "On the contrary, judging from the lack of restraints, it seems your village has accepted it." His smirk widened. "Remind me, how long did they have you bound and locked up?"

Sasuke gritted his teeth. The hand holding onto the envelopes itched to be wrapped around kusanagi again. "Was there anything else?"

Orochimaru made an exaggerated expression of thought. "I don't believe so. But if I do recall anything else, I'll be sure to call on you again. I do so enjoy seeing the progress of my protégé."

Sasuke swallowed a curse, tucked the letters into his pack and shunshined away.

"I do so enjoy seeing the progress of my protégé."

It's not like Sasuke wasn't aware of the comparisons. Each member of Team Seven taken under the tutelage of one of the legendary sannin, Naruto and Sakura making names for themselves evoking the positive attributes of their mentors. The less positive consensus that Sasuke too was growing to resemble the third counterpart.

It's what Sasuke had wanted. To learn from a monster.

How many times had he turned a blind eye to Orochimaru's dealings? He may have freed most of the snake sannin's prisoners, but it had been an afterthought. All that for power, but what had he accomplished in the end? He'd still lost to an Itachi that was sitting at death's door.

Sasuke kept running long after he could no longer feel the slimy stare of sannin on his back. When he finally stopped, he nearly stumbled over his feet. The encounter had unduly shaken him, bringing up memories and feelings he didn't want to relive.

If Orochimaru was worse than a monster, then what did that make Sasuke?

It was a question that had plagued Sasuke since the end of the war. It had hounded him, chasing his heels on those months of wandering and even into the walls of Konoha. But then, it had slowly receded into the background.

"…You say it's about atoning, but…why does it sound like you're punishing yourself?"

Hinata's soft voice flitted through his mind and Sasuke's eyes widened.

"I want you to be happy…"

Reflexively, Sasuke's right hand came up to clutch at his chest. He could feel his heart pounding under his palm.

"…It makes me sad that you don't think you deserve to be happy."

Sasuke could feel the chakra gathering around his rinnegan unbidden. The space in front of him rippled, morphing into a deep purple.

For the first time, he opened a portal with no specific destination in mind, just a specific person.

Hinata's day seemed to crawl by. She found it difficult to focus on Jiraiya's teachings, senses alert for Sasuke's chakra signature.

Her anxiety reared its head, nagging at her that her behaviour had repulsed Sasuke to the point of abandoning the mission. Intellectually she knew it wasn't true. Sasuke would never be so petty. A far more likely scenario was that Sasuke had received a more important assignment. Her anxiety had then latched onto this theory, worry about what kind of danger Sasuke could be facing flooding through her.

Despite her spiraling thoughts, Hinata had worked diligently. Over the past two days, she and Sasuke had progressed through the majority of the scrolls, leaving only a handful. Naruto's early arrival tore her from one of the last remaining scrolls.

Hinata greeted him with confusion. His Hokage apprenticeship typically kept him much later than this. When she asked, Naruto scratched the back of his head with a subdued grin. "Ah, Kakashi-sensei sent me home early. Said I was being annoying."

Hinata's brows drew together as she looked at the blond. He seemed distracted and upset. Still, she accepted his explanation and didn't push. She almost reached out to cover his clenched hand in hers, but managed to stop herself in time. She couldn't honestly say if she would have done it as a lover or as a friend, so it was better not to do it at all.

Hinata had skipped lunch without noticing, so they ate her packed food for dinner. It was a quiet affair with too many homemade bentos for too few people. Hinata usually relied on Naruto to fill the silence, but he seemed lost in his thoughts. His responses to Hinata's attempts at conversation were lackluster, but to be fair, Hinata was not much in the mood either.

After washing up, Hinata finished up the last of the scrolls. She double checked her notes and packed them away.

"Naruto-kun," she called gently. When that didn't rouse his attention from his paperwork, she repeated herself in a louder tone. "Naruto-kun!"

"Oh! What is it, Hinata-chan?"

"I'm all done. Would you like me to seal away Jiraiya-sama's scrolls? I understand if you'd rather get someone more experienced —"

"That'd be great, Hinata-chan, thanks!" Naruto said. He smiled at her, whisker marks stretching across his cheeks. "There's no one else I'd want to do it."

Hinata turned to go to Jiraiya's office and to hide her blush. She came back with the painting, a brush and an inkstone. With the utmost respect for Jiraiya, as a seal master, a legendary sannin and, most importantly, a precious person to Naruto, Hinata meticulously recreated his seal, retaining all of his little flourishes. Moving through the hand signs again, Hinata sealed the scrolls back into the painting.

When she looked up at Naruto, she found him looking back at her in wonder.

"You just keep getting cooler and cooler, Hinata-chan," he said, voice filled with awe.

Hinata blushed again, this time with no way of hiding it. "Naruto-kun…"

Naruto got to his feet and began packing away his own things. "C'mon, let me walk you home."

Hinata tilted her head in confusion. "Um, there's no need…"

"I actually wanted to talk to you about something," Naruto said.

Curious, Hinata nodded.

They left Jiraiya's cottage separately, carefully masking their presence, and then met up a few streets away. They walked quietly for a while. For all that Naruto had rarely had the opportunity to walk her home while they were dating, kept busy with studying and other duties, walking by his side just a half-step behind felt familiar to Hinata. Except that Naruto's hands were tucked into his coat pockets while hers were wrapped around herself.

Hinata's eyes darted to Naruto throughout the walk, puzzled by his silence. More than once she locked eyes with his own blue pair, only for the both of them to immediately break eye contact.

The wind whistled past them, but it wasn't a harsh sound. It was the first day of February and the last month of winter.

Hinata was watching their feet make imprints in the snow when she noticed Naruto's pair disappear. Turning, Hinata found him standing under the yellow light of a streetlamp. His hair had now fully grown back into his old haircut. He looked boyish and young, like the version of him that Hinata had first fallen in love with.

"Hinata-chan…"

Hinata retraced her steps, moving closer until she too was illuminated by the streetlight. She regarded Naruto with an inquisitive expression.

"Ah, well…there's going to be this party in spring," he started nervously. "To officially announce me as Kakashi-sensei's successor. Not that everyone doesn't already know, but apparently, it's one of those things you have to do. And I just —"

A distinctive flare of chakra cut Naruto's next words off. They both turned in time to see a dark figure stumbling out into the street, the torn fabric of reality folding closed behind it in a cloud of purple.

Hinata was already running before the purple chakra had a chance to fade away.

"Sasuke-kun!"

Her voice was louder outside of his mind, but still held that gentle quality.

Sasuke had caught sight of them immediately, blue and yellow hair shining under the streetlamp. A kneejerk feeling of relief swept over him. There was a secondary emotion accompanying it, a scratching in his chest at how close they had been standing, but Sasuke deftly pushed it away.

Small hands gripped his cloak and worried lavender eyes blinked up at him. The black emotions swirling in his gut after his meeting with Orochimaru subsided. Sasuke wrapped his hand around one of Hinata's wrists. The thrum of her pulse underneath his thumb settled something inside of him.

"Sasuke." Naruto's eyes dipped down to where Sasuke was holding Hinata, but jerked back up.

Sasuke beat back the nonsensical impulse to withdraw his hand. Meeting his friend's eyes, Sasuke knew that Naruto knew exactly where he'd just come from. There was concern and guilt lining his face. Sasuke shook his head, silently communicating that it was fine.

Sasuke allowed the presence of his best friend and the sensation of Hinata's skin against his ground him.

Sasuke facing another ghost from his past and thinking of Hinata to get him through it.

MVH