The old man looked down at me as he held me like I was a football.

His eyes searched mine and they narrowed briefly as I continued to stare back at him blankly. Perhaps I shouldn't have and act like a baby that I was supposed to be. Though the mind of the twenty-something that I was really didn't want to play game and I was pissed.

Pissed at my lot in life, well this life, bad enough being reborn as a baby with my old memories. Bad enough that my new 'mother' was a detached being that thrived as a hive minded parasite at a planet-destroying level. Bad enough that my 'father' was the smartest man in the universe but a total shite-bag of the highest degree, he made the planet-stealing monster that was my mother look like a saint.

The absolute worst of it was, she left me with him.

Rick Sanchez.

My father.

"Shit."

Right with you, Sanchez, right with you.

5 'Years' Later

The place was heavily fortified, which only made it more of a failure on their part as Rick strode in like he owned the place. I stood on a hill overlooking the place.

"Ryder, now!"

This was beyond fucked up, yet I didn't have time to ponder my choices as the swarm of bug creatures swarmed behind Rick.

I activated the trigger and watched as the stronghold blew up from the charges Rick had set up as a fallback plan.

After throwing up my breakfast and lunch I stared at the fiery wreckage of the Galactic Federation stronghold.

I didn't know how long I was staring at the fire but Rick was standing next to me watching the fire also, a blank look on his face, and drenched in a green liquid that most likely blood.

This was the first time I… I've been forced to hurt people before, occupational hazard being around Rick and all, hells I've crippled an alien or two with my abilities that I got from Unity, but outright killing…

Rick held his flask in front of my face, his eyes never meeting mine as he continued to stare dead ahead.

Taking the cool metal in my hands, I took a deep drag of the chilled drink, it burned as it made its way down to my now empty stomach.

Rick didn't speak a word that entire day. When we got back to where we were holding ourselves up for the last couple of weeks, he locked himself away in his room.

2 'Years' Later

The barren wasteland was littered with death, the bug aliens were in the thousands as their corpses were strewn across the place.

Squanchy set my nose back into place with a crack and grimace, bringing me back into the now.

"Shit!" I cursed as the spike of pain washed through me.

"Squanch Ryder," The cat-like alien winced.

Spitting out the glob of blood that leaked into my mouth, I gave Squanchy a nod, "Nah don't worry about it bud," I pointed at my nose, "thanks for setting it back into place."

"Ah, no squanch little buddy." Squanchy waved away the thanks and walked off to find someone else in need.

With the Battle of Blood Ridge over and done with I searched for Rick and Bird Person. I quickly found the pair, the former walking towards me, anger in his steps as the latter stood there looking perplexed.

"There you are," Rick grumbled, his shitty mood at the forefront. Bird Person let out a sigh at the sight of me and waved, as I waved back.

"BP doesn't want to stick around huh," I stated.

"Why the fuck would you assume he was going to be around for any longer than this fight?" Rick snapped at me.

"Because we fought in this battle." I said evenly, "And seeing how there isn't a set of tits in your face, I'm guessing the reason why we were here for so long was because of your bromance with BP."

"Shut the fuck up Ryder." He opened a portal and stepped through.

"Eat a bird dick, Rick." I walked in after him.

4 'Years' Later

We were in a grim, dank warehouse, something that I've seen far too many times in this life, the smell of shit was in the air, that's something I learnt at a young age, the build-up of blood was a foul thing to smell.

Rick's body was battered beyond saving, bound to a chair, on deaths door, "Ryder, buddy you wouldn't kill your old-"

Using the soft-telekinesis that I got from Unity, I dropped the hefty weight onto Rick's head, splattering his noggin like a watermelon.

"Note to self, reinforce my skull." My Rick said as he shifted through whatever data we had stolen from this Rick.

"You sure that's a good idea? Messing with your head and all doesn't seem like a good move."

Rick shrugged, "Eh, not like I haven't already altered my body with fewer risks. Plus you'd be around to make sure it goes all right."

"He said right after he watched me kill an alternative version of himself," I said as I wiped off the blood of whatever Rick this was from hands, the clothes were in the splash zone and beyond saving.

"I trust you, Ryder." He said without looking away from the pad in his hands.

"Bull shit." I scoffed, "Seems like to me you don't care if you die."

"Believe what you want to believe, Ryder."

2 'Years' Later

Rick cackled as we ran for our lives, thankfully I had managed to snag my pants on but the scent of sex lingered off me.

"I'm almost proud." Rick snorted as he took a pot shot behind us as I covered the harpy like aliens that were dive bombing us, "Saved the prince, get knighted by the king, the princess is making goo-goo eyes at you all night long, and you banged the queen."

"And got caught." I grumbled as I slid across the ship's hood and hopped into the passenger seat.

Rick activated the ship and blasted off, the literally hand-made ship outpaced the avian like aliens like they were nothing but freshly dubbed fliers.

"Well considering the sounds the queen was making, can you really be surprised that you got caught?"

Letting out a sigh, I grabbed some spare clothes that I kept in the ship, "She propositioned me, I figured she'd know how to be subtle about it."

Rick just laughed all throughout the journey.

11 'Years' Later

As the dust settled the slaughter stopped. I took in the sight of the now pacified Rick's and the various alien-looking Ryder's.

Turns out I was included in the infinite Rick's lives. Though there was one marginal difference, that being the breed of alien that Unity was hosting as they fucked to produce me.

Was it luck, coincidence, or just simply being C-137's son that I was human-looking?

The species that Unity took and essentially destroyed were something akin to an Amazonian race, and it seemed like all the Ryder's took in their 'mother's race' during conception.

Sure there were a few that looked similar and yet they acted nothing like me.

A lot of dead alien Ryder's littered the place alongside their Rick's.

All the while me and mine were sat and watched as the Rick's licked their wound and swallowed their pride and bowed down to the Rickest Rick.

My Rick met my eyes and I let out a long sigh, "This ain't gonna end well." He just shrugged and got up, looks like we had a lot of work to be done.

A/N - Published 2023/12/20 - Edited 2023/12/21

Bit of an experimental fic, to be honest not much else to add at the moment.