? 'Years' Later
A squelching sound echoed out in my 'home' as the Nautolan bounty hunter rode me, her green skin slick with sweat as our hips rocked with the motions, my bedsheets clinging to my wet body.
I kept a steady grip on Caij by gripping her meaty taut rear with both hands.
Without stopping the movement of our hips, she leaned down so that her breasts were pressed against my chest. Her alien eyes held a predatory gleam to them, her pointed teeth snarling the entire time as her breath-laboured moans were pitching back, she was once again approaching another orgasm.
With the sun peaking through the blinds, I decided to wrap this up earlier than when we normally would, as I figured with the commotion a few hours ago at the main house I wouldn't have any time to pork the alien bounty hunter during the day.
With her inner walls clamping down on my entire length, I stopped holding back the control that I developed over the years, and unloaded a hot pump of my seed in the incompatible alien.
In the years I spent in this life I learnt to let go of my old hang-ups, which may have been initially about my morals and the general murder and terrorism that Rick and I did during my second childhood, but it was also about my hang-ups about sex.
Fuck it, and fuck any chick that's willing.
And Caij was willing. The sexy bounty hunter that only ever seemed to keep a lookout for me and me alone, which was odd considering Rick had a bigger bounty and he wasn't ever too far.
Yet with Caij it wasn't always about the bounty on my head, but the fight I would give her, well the fight, and then the vigorous fucking we did when the dust settled and she failed to capture me.
She was hot as all hell, could fight like a wolf backed into a corner, and fucked like a bitch in heat, she was great, but then she opened her mouth, that god awful accent seeped out, and I realised why it was never anything more than a twisted frenemy with benefits situation.
I'm fairly sure it was supposedly an Aussie accent, but damn it was a bad one at that.
"Well that was quite somethin'" She purred much to my annoyance.
I gave her arse a spank, and a lopsided smile as she shuddered in pleasure, "You should really consider a ball-gag."
She let out a huff and dismounted from me, my seed trailing down her legs as she hopped off, "And deprive you off my angelic voice? Never."
"Oh Caij, you know your mouth is my third favourite hole of yours."
"Such a fuckin' wanker." She peeled on her tight white pants on, not once giving herself a wipe down. Whatever floats her boat but gross, "Till the next time Ry."
"Caij," I grunted to the alien and hustled to the shower, a shame she decided not to join me, whilst shower sex was usually an awkward affair. Nautolan's seemed to thrive when they were wet, a sense of energy overcame them. Still, I heard the sound of Caij's engines of her spacecraft purr on and take off.
Taking a long shower was pretty much a staple of my childhood, now that I thought about it, washing away all the blood, gore and guilt became pretty much second nature to me.
Heading out of my home in the garden of the Smith household, I wondered why Rick didn't call dibs on the shed, even after I outfitted it with 'bigger on the inside' tech, he was still all too happy to let me have the shed as he took the garage.
Ah well, I wasn't going to take a saw on the branch I was sitting on. I liked having a space away from Rick, even if it was about a stone's throw away from the man.
As I walked through the kitchen I plated my breakfast and hustled into the dining room, "Hola Smith family. Rick." I greeted and interrupted whatever conversation slash argument that was going on.
The man nodded my way, "Kid. I see you and Caij are done screwing each other raw."
"Dad!" Beth let out with a hint of outrage and embarrassment.
I looked at Morty with his face in his breakfast as the young boy was asleep… So the beginning is here… swell.
Grabbing the back of Morty's shirt I leaned his head back gave his face a quick wipe with the towel on the table.
"Soooo. Is that squid alien your girlfriend, uncle Ryder?"
Letting out a sound that was a mix of a snort and a scoff I shook my head, "Nah, Summer, she's just a… How do I say this without being crass?"
"Fuckbuddy." Rick said into his bowl, "She's his fuckbuddy, she tries to kill him, you're uncle fucks her when she fails. Pity bang?" He asked me.
"Dad!" Beth repeated again.
Rick rolled his eyes but turned his attention to me, "There's no point in avoiding being crass when the whole thing is a cluster fuck between you both."
"Be that as it may, we don't really need to air it out to Summer or Morty." I pointed a thumb at my nephew, "Speaking off, what's with the kid?"
Rick's eyes went all flinty, and he suddenly got up and rushed towards the garage, most likely to triple-check if he disarmed the bomb that he ambled together when plastered, a thing he's done plenty of times during my childhood, good thing I had enough foresight to teach Morty how to disarm a Rick made bomb. I don't know how canon Morty learnt that by trial by fire, but I wasn't willing to risk it here.
"Well, that's not a good sign." Letting out a sigh I leaned back and ate my breakfast, and funnily enough I realised I sorta missed the meals I used to have with Rick, well I missed the silence and lack of need to fill it.
"So this Caij." Beth said with a hopeful smile, "Is she something more… or is dad right?" If she asked this to Rick he would've made a quip of some kind or deflect it.
"Gods no." I decided to throw my half-sister a bone, "We like each other sure, but even if either of us ever became a relationship kind off people, it wouldn't be with each other." I shrugged.
"But you like giving the squid-lady your pipe." Summer said with a small smile as she intentionally was being crass to anger her mother.
"Summer!"
"Squid-lady's butt is phenomenal." I shrugged as my reasoning was sound.
"Really?" Jerry uttered out for the first time this morning as he looked intrigued.
"Jerry!"
"What, why am I the one getting shouted at? Your brother said it." Jerry whined.
My eyes locked onto Summer's and I nodded towards the door, grabbing Morty we hustled out and let the wedded couple to fight without witnesses, much to Jerry's dread.
"Come on, I'll give you a ride." I told the teens as Morty looked wider awake from the sudden movement.
"Awesome, thanks uncle Ryder." Summer looked giddy as she eyed my motorcycle, good thing I installed a bio-lock on it. Essentially if anyone other than myself or Rick tried to use the bike, it'd either not work or taze whoever tried to steal.
Though considering the mess the kids end up in as far as my knowledge of the Smith's goes it wouldn't be the worst if they had an option of my bike if needed be. Yet I was pretty reluctant to allow them, the dangers of a motorcycle and the recklessness of my niece and nephew were good reasons for holding back allowing them access.
"Yeah th-hanks, uncle Ryder." The bike picked up on our approach and the side car appeared from the side of the bike, Morty hopped in and Summer wrapped her arms around my stomach as she held onto me when I seated myself.
I may or may not have picked up the speed and zoomed in and out traffic at the behest of Summer, and even Morty the nervous little wreck seemed to be enjoying himself as he waved his arms in the air.
Summer hopped off the bike as I peeled into the school's car park, she pulled off her helmet and threw it at the side car and hit her brother with it, "Oh you have got to let me drive it one of these days." She pleaded with hands together in a praying motion.
I poked Summer in the forehead causing her to wrinkle her nose, "First her name is Sexarella, not an it."
"Such a guy." She mumbled under her breath.
I waved bye to Morty, as the kid got a dopey look on his face and rushed off towards an admittedly attractive girl, so that's Jessica…
"Be nicer to your brother." She rolled her eyes and let out a huff, "And third if you want a bike of your own you need to prove you're responsible enough to have one."
"And how am I supposed to do that?" She looked hopeful as if I was going to tell her how.
"Figure it out yourself, Sum-Sum."
"Ah come on uncle Ryder," She pouted like a petulant child, "at least give me a hint, what did you do to get grandpa Rick's trust?"
Withholding the laugh and keeping a straight face was harder than I thought, Rick gave me death machine's, weapons and other stuff that no child should ever get their hands on when I was 5, but the real kicker was, he doesn't trust me, he doesn't trust anyone.
Rick kept me around because I proved useful in a fight, a free-thinking weapon. After all, I still proved useful to him. I was waiting for the day when he was going to throw me away like I was trash or put me down like a rabid dog because I was too much of a threat.
Living your life on the edge never knowing if you were ever truly safe, if today was going to be your last day… it was oddly freeing, once you got over the existential dread of death.
In a twisted sense, I should thank Rick for that.
"Nope," I replied bringing myself out of my thoughts, I slid my leg over Sexarella, I flicked my hand over to the approaching girls whom Summer has been trying her darnedest to keep away from me since I first arrived here with Rick. I did question her about it at one point and it wasn't anything to do with me but one of her friends.
'Thot central, and you're bait, uncle Ryder. Like chum to sharks' In her own words.
My eyes flickered to one of the girls that was approaching my niece. The Galactic Federation deserved some props, leaving a sleeper agent for Rick in the disguise as Summer's friend, on the off chance he 'returned' to his earth family.
Yet it wasn't her fake friend that Summer wanted to ward away from me but the lass with big tits and a short plaided skirt, yep I saw what Summer was getting at.
"See ya kiddo." Peeling out of the car park I stowed away the thoughts of supposedly Summer's friends and grabbed some lunch for Rick and I.
What was the point of having a BS alien body that allowed me to a peak beyond Olympic athletes without trying if I couldn't enjoy the finer things in life. Spending all that time in space, I realised I really missed processed, fat full, greasy fast food.
Yeah, there were some alien meals that I loved, and the novelty of exploring space and travelling to other planets somewhat wavered when everything and everyone kept trying to kill me, yet in the peaceful moments I loved my environment, and yet Earth would always be home and when I yearned for home I yearned for food.
Rolling to a stop I parked my bike next to Rick's ship and opened the garage door, with a pizza box pressed against my hip. Looks like he repaired the ship with whatever junk he found in the garage. Not the worst slap-dash repair he's done with the ship, but compared to the repairs that I did for Sexarella, the ships repairs paled in comparison, but then again the junky-tech look was something Rick quite liked, but good luck if you point it out to him.
"Ryder." Rick grunted as he kept his face in whatever he was making.
"Rick." Opening the box I placed it beside him and sat on the adjacent stool, "You dismantled the bomb?"
Rick grunted as he took a slice, "Who do you take me for?" I gave him a flat look, "Yes! I dismantled the bomb. Though I don't know why you have this hill you're willing to die on, we've used plenty of neutrion bombs."
"I rather we don't have them around the house. Don't want to risk some idiot playing around with it and setting it off."
"Jerry?"
I shrugged in response. I wasn't his biggest fan, but I didn't hate the man either. He was alright, I suppose, I mean I dealt with real unsavoury folk with my time with Rick, and the quote on quote bottom feeder that was Jerry was an middling person to me.
"Caij tell you anything interesting?" He said as he turned back to his project of the day, "You know, when you were done with your face buried in her fishy pussy."
"At least I know how to go down on a woman." I bragged and then almost instantly regretted it, what kind of boast was that to make to my father? My life is a cluster fuck.
She told me plenty but I could hear the unsaid and he was going to be sorely disappointed, or he would've been if he actually asked what he wanted to.
'Nothing about Prime.' Whoever Prime was to my Rick I didn't know, know for sure that is. I don't know if he was ever covered when this reality was a show to me, I had stopped watching around around that pickle thing.
But here, part of my life was hunting for the Rick known as Rick Prime, and here we were, laying in wait with his Beth, Morty and Summer.
"Galactic Federation are making moves," I don't know why I bothered all that much.
Rick's interest wasn't piqued, "Stop nitpicking, the Federation are well below us. We don't need to do anything about them and we're free to go about our business."
"As if they'd leave us be." I scoffed, "They making plans, just no one is quite sure what they're up to yet."
I don't need Rick to prevent what happened to BP, but if he took the threat of the Federation seriously it'd make my life easier, "Plus if they're nits, shouldn't you deal with them, who the fuck leaves nits in their hair?"
Rick rolled his eyes and took a sip from his flask, "Are they making moves on the old gang?"
"It's only a matter of time." I grumbled knowing he'd used that as an excuse to do nothing.
"So, no then." Rick stood up and reached for his portal gun, "Morty is starting to rub off on you,"
"Being cautious doesn't hurt." I sighed as I ran a hand through my hair.
"Bull shit, if you're too worried about what if then you're not moving forward, I raised you better than that Ryder." Rick ranted shortly.
My jaw clenched and I withheld the cutting remark on my tongue, emotional laden with guilt did nothing for Rick but spike a sense of ire and pettiness.
"We'll come back to this later." I said with gritted teeth.
"Whatever." He opened a portal with his gun and nodded towards it.
"Looks like Sum-Sum is rubbing off on you," I grumbled which got a chuckle from him.
As we stepped through the green swirl we appeared in the hallway of the kid's highschool, just in time to see some dipshit pressing Morty against a locker, with a knife in hand.
"Let me." I didn't wait for Rick to respond as I walked over and pressed my beefy hand against the side of the boy's head, he let out a pained sound as his face was pressed against the cold metal of the locker.
"Uncle Ryder?"
"Hey kiddo, I'm going to have a chat with your friend here. Go talk to your grandpa over there."
Rick grabbed Morty and shuffled a bit further away in the empty corridor.
Turning my attention to the punk in front of me, "Hi, we haven't met yet, I'm Ryder, a certified lunatic." I said with a calm voice and a smile on my face.
"Who the fuck do you think you are?" The boy thrashed but there was no chance the boy was ever going to overpower either my sheer bulk that towered over him or the warrior half of my alien DNA.
"Oh, I'm Morty's uncle, if you ever bother my nephew again, blah, blah, blah. Here's the thing shit stain. I get it. Morty is smaller and weaker, lower on the totem pole, easy pickins', am I right?" I let loose of my hold on him and he didn't thrash out, so that was progress.
"Yeah," The boy twirled his knife in hand before he started to pick his fingers with the tip of the blade, a smirk on his face, and already my urge to throttle the kid spiked.
"Like I said, I get it." Reaching behind me, I hiked up the back of my shirt and pulled out my trusty blade made off uru, from the back of my belt, the blade made his switch-blade seem like a toothpick, still the boy tried to hold strong, as he tried to plunge the steel alloy into me, only something alien would be able to pierce me. Blunt force trauma worked well against me, but my body had an element of a natural kevlar.
The boy learnt that the hard way, however, as his blade bent at an angle when it tried to dig itself into my abdomen muscles.
"Tell me, kid." I said ignoring his fearful look and placing a hand on his shoulder, he whimpered at the contact, "You ever hear the expression 'taking a pound of flesh'?" His eyes widened as he backed himself into the locker behind him, "You touch Morty again, I will literally take a pound of flesh from you." I let go of him and instantly he was already a foot away from me, "Every single time." I uttered low but considering the wet patch on his dark jeans he heard me well enough.
He scrambled away in a sprint and that finally seemed to draw attention on him and poor luck as it seemed, his pants wetting was probably going to do a lot more damage to him than the threat on his life, high school was a form of hell after all.
"Uncle Ryder?" Summer said as she suddenly appeared next to me.
"Ride her. Maybe I should take him for a ride myself."
Summer groaned at her big-chested friend and dragged her away, "Begone thot." She grumbled.
"Ryder?"
"Hey, Beth." I greeted calmly on the outside but I was cursing up a storm on the inside, Rick grabbed Morty and ducked to get the… I think it was the mega fruit or something, while I threatened Piss-Pants. Argh I should have just let Rick kill that kid.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, did they come straight to the school when Rick grabbed Morty? No, I don't think they did the first time 'round, but then again this isn't a scripted show anymore.
"What are we doing here? What are you doing here, Ryder?" Jerry said with a frown as he emphasised we and you.
"I was dropping off Morty's school bag, he left it in my sidecar this morning." I lied easily enough to them.
"Oh…" Jerry replied lamely.
"I'm sorry who are you?"
"This is my brother, Ryder, Principle Vagina." Beth answered before she turned to me again, "Ryder you haven't seen Morty, have you? We need to talk with him."
"Ah no, I dropped his bag off and I was going to head back home."
"Maybe it would be better if we all talk in my office," Vagina said and I really felt the urge to punch Rick rise.
"Sure." I groaned.
Vagina spent the last hour talking none stop, and only part of it had to do with Morty and his absence from school, thankfully I got lucky and Rick copped the blame for it.
Jerry didn't look pleased at Morty's dwindling future but he seemed happy whenever Rick's involvement was brought up, all the while Beth seemed to retreat deeper and deeper in herself.
Eventually, Vagina was done and with a couple of platitudes of Morty was going to do better from now on, he escorted us out, and just as it happened Rick and Morty appeared through a portal in the cafeteria.
Rick dragged Morty away and unknowingly towards us, "-You gotta get those seeds out of your ass." Oh yeah, that was it, the seeds.
"Oh, look, honey, it's our son, with Albert Ein-douche." Jerry said and I was shocked he didn't pat himself on the bat.
"What?" Beth and I said simultaneously.
"I'm an angry father, not an improviser."
"Hi, Jerry." Rick said as I could see his mind chugging a mile a minute, "Oh my goodness, Morty! What are you doing out of class?"
"It's the end of the school day, Rick."
"Shut up Ryder." He said without looking my way, "We talked about this Morty, your parents, uncle and I are very disappointed in this behaviour." Rick's eyes kept flicking back to the parents, "No? No takers?"
Seems like it's going how it did in canon, and with the seeds up Morty's butthole it was going to end the same way also.
Ah well, all wells that ends well.
Plus I'll speak to Rick later about ducking out on me when I was dealing with Piss-Pants later.
When we walked out of the school a familiar boy now dressed in jogging bottoms walked in sight, he froze like a deer in headlights as his eyes landed on Morty, "H-hhey Frank." The kid ran away screaming, at least he didn't piss himself again.
"What was that about?" Morty asked as Beth and Jerry were still chewing out Rick.
I ruffled Morty's hair, "Piss-Pants ain't going to bother you again."
The kid didn't say anything as he continued to walk awkwardly, but he did give me a wide smile.
A/N - 2023/12/22
Yo, thanks to all for the support.
I really wasn't sure about this story, but it seems like it piqued some interest, so thanks again.
As with Caij being a character from Star Wars Jedi Survivor, it is probably obvious now that I'll use some aliens from other forms of fiction for the story, but I'll try and keep the story as core in the Rick and Morty universe as and if I continue on with this story.