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The next morning's form was absolutely miserable. Charlie sat there alone, with no hope of seeing Nick at all that day, and felt so lost. He couldn't do it. He couldn't go a whole day without Nick. And what's more, he didn't want to. No one had asked him what was best for him, they had just made the decision like it didn't matter. Well, it did matter, and he wasn't just going to sit here and be told who he could or couldn't see.

He went to Mr. Lange, claiming that he had borrowed Nick's pen and that Nick needed this specific one for his GCSE review. Mr. Lange wasn't entirely sold, he could tell, but he also didn't care that much, as long as Charlie was back in time for class.

The room was utterly silent, everyone focused on their studies, as Charlie made his way to the study hall advisor and explained the situation. He saw Nick at the same table as Ben, and wished they were sitting anywhere else. He knew Nick felt that way, too, but at the moment, it really didn't help that Ben saw Nick more than Charlie did.

Nick got up and met him at the side of the room. God, he was so beautiful. Charlie had forgotten how much.

"Hey."

"Hey." Nick looked pleased to see him, but also confused.

"I told Mr. Farouk I borrowed your pen and needed to give it back." He handed Nick a pen. One Charlie had actually borrowed from him, so it wasn't entirely a lie.

Their fingers brushed lightly in the exchange. "Okay."

"I just … haven't seen you all day, so I wanted to say hi."

"Hi." Nick smiled, but he looked so tired and dispirited Charlie wondered if this had been a good idea after all.

"Are you okay? With your brother and everything?"

"Yeah. Just, uh …"

But before he could finish, Mr. Farouk called to them, "This ain't social hour, boys!" He jerked his head toward Nick's empty seat.

"Text me later," Charlie said.

"Yeah." Nick went back to his seat, and, reluctantly, not really feeling any better, Charlie went back to class.

That afternoon, Charlie sat down in front of his work. He wanted to focus, he really did. But all he could think of was how tired Nick had looked, how sad, how much Charlie wanted to just be in his arms, the two of them together.

His phone chimed with a text from Nick. "I've had the worst day haha"

He sent back three hearts. "same tbh this coursework is sooo boring" "maybe i could sneak out and come round yours"

Nick replied, "I don't think that's a good idea with my brother here". Before Charlie's heart could sink too much, he added, "But we could meet in the park?"

Charlie's laptop was closed and he was out the door almost before he had finished reading. He waited in the park forever, it seemed, before he heard Nick's voice calling his name. Turning, he ran to him, wrapping his arms around Nick's shoulders. Nick put an arm round Charlie's waist and lifted him so easily, spinning them both round. Feet on the ground again, he clung to Nick. "Hi."

Nick buried his face in Charlie's shoulder and just held him. "God, I missed you."

"Me, too."

"Is that silly? We saw each other all weekend."

"I know, but … it seems like forever."

They hugged again, before Nellie whined and pawed at their legs for her share of attention. They ran her for a while until she was ready to lie down, then spread out a blanket and lay down themselves, holding hands.

"Your hands are so cold," Nick said.

"I'm always cold," Charlie reminded him.

"Well, in that case …" Nick sat up and stripped off his jumper, handing it to Charlie, who wasted no time pulling it on.

"Thank you." Still warm, smelling like Nick, it was like being constantly hugged by his boyfriend. He was going to keep this, to wear it at night, so he could be reminded that they were together, even if they couldn't see each other as much as they'd like.

"There we go."

"I'm stealing this, just so you know."

"Oh, I know." It wasn't the first. Charlie thought he might currently have more of Nick's jumpers than Nick did.

They laughed together. Nellie stirred next to Charlie, and he picked up her tennis ball. "Do you want to go? Do you want to play? Come on. Come on!" He got up and ran off with her, throwing the ball again and again while she chased it eagerly.

He and Nellie came back to the blanket, where Nick was still sitting. Usually he'd have been up and running with them. Charlie knew the GCSE revision was hard on Nick, who was not fond of academic work and had a hard time just sitting in one place all day. "You okay?"

Nick nodded. "Yeah. Uh, just, um … Just stressed about GCSEs. I'm definitely going to fail maths on Monday."

"Want me to help you revise? We can go through your notes together."

For response, Nick leaned forward and kissed him. After a few kisses, his arm moved round Charlie's waist, and Charlie cupped Nick's face in his hands. Then Charlie pulled away, remembering that it hadn't been that long ago that the idea of kissing him here in this same park, on this same blanket, had sent Nick into a panic.

He laughed, but before he could say anything, Nick took Charlie's face in his hands and pulled him down on top of him, kissing him more. It was … perfect. It was everything.

Reluctantly, they both headed home. On the way, Charlie checked his phone. Nick had posted to his Instagram, a picture of Charlie and Nellie with the caption "I think Nellie loves him".

She did. Charlie was sure of it. And to have himself pictured on Nick's Instagram account—it wasn't a coming out, but it was a step toward it. Enough to remind Charlie that this was his life; Nick was his life.