Update: I've changed this conversation a lot of times (about 4 times) because I didn't like it. I really hope that I've finally reached the right string.

I hope you like it (I'd be happy to know it, though) :)

Chapter 11: Come And Look Into My Heart

Part 1

Some time after the liquid in Shikamaru's cup had been put off, Temari stood up and headed to the nearest cover on the other side of the meadow in order to do something that shinobi never talked about. Reliving one's call of nature was something normal, after all, especially when one has been drinking…

On her way back, she planned to stop near Ameno and ask her whatever was wrong with Ruka.

Kankuro used his sister's short absence and went straight to Shikamaru — the man was looking down in his empty glass.

Kneeling down, he whispered right away, not losing a moment: "Don't hesitate. Act atypically, and don't give her time to deliberate."

The sand shinobi gained a shocked look but didn't let this put him off. "Trust me," he insisted.

A quick glance over his shoulder told him his time had run out as Temari was approaching. Kankuro raised his voice a bit, saying, "I can take a second shift as well if it's needed."

"No need, thank you," Shikamaru joined the play with ease.

"What're you doin', brother?" She asked when she was close enough.

He smoothly turned his head and grinned. "Sharing a word with our team leader, what ya think?" He waved dismissively. "Do you have fun, Tem?" he asked instead.

"My best friend is next to me." She lifted her new half-full glass.

"You may have to send that friend to bed soon," he suggested with a chuckle while getting up. Stepping backward, he made a gallant gesture, inviting her to sit back down.

"Tenten's shift starts soon; mine's next," he informed them. "I wish you both a good night." He bowed and kissed his sister on the cheek, followed by a whisper, "Relax…"

After that, Kankuro retreated to his place between Omoi and Tenten.

Relax, he said; with this level of intensity and insistency, it could mean a lot. Temari wanted to interpret it as a gesture of his good will, so she loosened a bit. He was going to stay sober, and knowing that she was in her brother's capable hands, she could... well, relax.

Temari sighed and looked at Shikamaru from the corner of her eye. She felt dizzy from the alcohol, flaccid, and very aware of his proximity. She was a bit annoyed at herself as well because of the damned way this proximity influenced her body without making any inquiries in her brain. She had a strong urge to stretch her hand and touch him. What could happen if I just did it? He flirted with me, didn't he? But the doubt immediately snapped in her foggy mind, waving a big, red flag to attract the main part of her still-sober self. Uncertainty that she didn't interpret his words correctly crept in and settled in the centre of what should have been her confidence. Temari couldn't — or more like, she didn't dare — trust her senses at the moment.

Maybe if she challenged him again? Just to be… sure?

She knew how to flirt, of course. All in all, she was a beautiful woman with a sexual life. But it was hard to choose an approach. For fuck's sake, it felt hard for her to speak without sluring, let alone do critical thinking. For a flirt to work, it had to consist of hints, jokes, and seriousness, all in the right doses. At the moment, it was rather likely to stagger in one direction or another; that is to say, her flirting wouldn't work.

Temari closed her eyes. The reality was that her self-control was in question. If she let herself act, she would pin the lazy, annoying man on the ground. She would straddle his thighs, forcing her lips on his and her tongue within his mouth. Of course, this wasn't a smart thing to do under the current circumstances. However, her mind provided her with a satisfyingly vivid image on this matter. Unwillingly, she licked her lips, her eyes still closed.

The sand kunoichi tried to think logically about how to flirt with him. There was no point in complimenting him since he was well aware of his own abilities; he also knew what she thought of him. It wasn't like she'd met him for the first or second time... All the tricks she knew were good to use with men she didn't know much about or only knew a little about.

A sharp pain in her left knee extracted an unwanted and surprised hiss from her lips. Once the source of pain had redirected her attention, the only thought in her head was of a way to get rid of the nasty sensation. She took a breath through her nose while moving her weight on her right hip so she could stretch her limbs forward. When she leaned aside to free her leg, her shoulder pressed onto his; he didn't move back but gave her a look and smiled. It was an almost-there smile. An uneasy feeling creeped into her chest, suddenly making her too conscious. She straightened her back and tried to square her shoulders. Wanting to create a physical barrier, Temari placed her right hand between them.

Shikamaru imperceptibly skittered his index finger on the inner side of her wrist. It was just the faintest touch. She'd think it was imaginary if she hadn't seen it out of the corner of her eye.

As if nothing had happened, he calmly leaned forward, his hands placed on his lap to rest.

Temari's body didn't ask her for permission when the little hairs on her arm rose with his touch. It didn't give a damn about her conscious wishes when her stomach whirled its way into a knot. Her eyes didn't ask her consent to move hungrily down his neck, revealing that while he appeared calm on the outside, his pulse was wildly racing and she could actually see his smooth skin slightly throb above the vessel. That realisation about Shikamaru's nervousness caused a wave of pleasant warmth in her lower stomach.

As if sensing the gaze, he returned it intensely. Her whole body pricked with anticipation.

Shikamaru Nara, as Temari stated inwardly, had been flirting with her. He practically did it just a moment ago. There was no need for additional challenges. She let out a sigh of relief hidden in a chuckle. The funny thing was that she couldn't even remember why she hadn't tried to flirt with him before. What was the problem again? Ah, yes! She was worried that he wouldn't be interested in her because of her pushy character and older age. But he didn't seem to have a problem with either of the things she had trouble with, or, at the very least, she hoped he didn't.

Her thoughts swung again in the direction of uncertainty. She had put herself down on the matter so many times that she needed unambiguous proof; she needed certainty.

Temari was drunk. Or at least tipsy enough to use it as an excuse in case she did something and it turned out that she'd read him wrongly. Now was the perfect moment for a test. Wasn't it?

Shikamaru frowned, a pained expression twisting his normally calm face. He lifted his hand and squeezed his left shoulder, grunting in pain.

"What a drag," he muttered to no one in particular.

"What's wrong?" Temari actually felt relief at the change of scenery.

"My shoulder hurts periodically after the war."

"Why don't you seek medical help?" she wondered.

"I did. I have." Shikamaru replied, trying to suppress the wincing. "And they do help — the pain goes away, and my shoulder resumes normal function until I overexert it again or spend some time outside in a very noticeable temperature change," he explained patiently. "The desert doesn't agree with me."

Temari suppressed a chuckle and settled for a nod.

"Well, there are medic shinobi here... You could just ask any of them. They won't be refusing, I'm sure."

"I've already asked Ino for help, and she did two procedures and said she's not doing more. Apparently, I'm an unpleasant patient."

The kunoichi bit hard on her lower lip to suppress a laugh. He was serious.

"But at least five are needed to feel the effect. So until then, I am just going to bear the pain, and it's troublesome... Temari?" His voice shook slightly when her hand rested on his shoulder. Her deft fingers started to move, massaging it.

"Well, I am not a medic, but I know this should help… Maybe."

Her thumb was making circling motions and pressing mildly; she squeezed harder over time. When she felt him tensing, she decreased the pressure temporarily.

Once she'd slid her fingers over his shoulder, she realised that she'd never actually let herself touch him. At least not like this, but only when the touch wasn't so… deliberate. They'd touch occasionally during training or on the streets when one pulled the other from the path of a running child. This was different — her fingers were literally feeling part of him; she could sense his skin's warmth even through the thick cloth of the vest.

Her heart started to pound harder and faster. A tense sensation appeared in her chest, as if she had caged a little bird there and it had started to frantically wave its wings. The conversations around them turned simply into background noise; the only thing she could hear was her own heart, her breathing, and the sharp breath intake through Shikamaru's teeth when she happened to press too hard.

"You're such a crybaby..." she whispered with a soft smile when a quiet groan escaped his lips.

"You're a troublesome woman." He smirked and closed his eyes, a faint blush passing briefly over his cheeks.

Shikamaru was quite surprised by her desire for proximity. Actually, he was so surprised that his heart started to rock in his rib cage as an immediate reaction. He feared his impeccable control would slip and he would do something for which she wouldn't forgive him. But her hand brought him warmth and relaxation, along with a faint pain.

He opened his eyes and met Ino's. She discreetly smiled at him. Her middle and ring fingers moved to her left temple — she wanted to pop into his head for a chat. And before he told her 'no', she closed her eyes and let her head relax on her hands, supported by her bent knees. He pursed his lips in annoyance but closed his eyes as well so he could focus easier.

"Tonight, Shikamaru! You must kiss her," said Ino's voice in his head.

"It's not your concern, sis," he retorted.

"Don't be so thick! Listen to me; I'm a woman! She's looking for answers right now, and if you want her, you should be giving her those answers. Don't procrastinate! I am serious!" She insisted, and Shikamaru could see her imaginary finger poking at his chest.

"Ino—" he started.

"Look, I really want this between you two to work out. I'm offering you help. You're smart, and you know I'm right. Snatch her away, talk with her, share your feelings, and kiss her."

"We are on a mission, if you've forgotten. There are too many pairs of eyes, and it's... not a good time—"

"Open-mouthed!" Ino interrupted him, emphasising.

"She's drunk! This is taking advantage of the situation." Shikamaru was desperate to defend against her provocation.

"She isn't that drunk. Maybe she's dizzy, but her thinking ability is barely affected, trust me. Also, I'm pretty sure if you tell her how you feel, she'll sober up in no time. Give her answers, Shikamaru!" repeated Ino, and right after that, she was gone from his mind.

"Alright! It's about time I go to sleep," Kankuro said loudly. He planned to stand up and stretch, then move a bit before he took a two-hour nap. He performed a few rounds with his head to stir up his neck.

Then Tenten yawned, drawing his attention.

Temari pulled her hand away from Shikamaru's shoulder. Her brother didn't need a rest, as far as she knew. Rather, he reminded the rest of the group to go to sleep at some point. She pursed her lips, contemplating, and looked at the half-empty glass still placed on the ground.

"I still don't feel like sleeping," she admitted.

Shikamaru slowly opened his eyes. To snatch her away, Ino had said... But that was Temari, so if she didn't want to do something, he couldn't force her in any way... or he'd suffer physically.

"Would you like to take a walk, then?" He offered quietly and hesitated before he continued, "It has been a long time since the last walk we took together."

"Yes," she said, smiling briefly, "it was indeed long ago."

"It was during the Flower Festival in Konoha." He nodded and slowly got up on his feet.

"I remember," she said with a smile, and also stood up. "Ouch!" She staggered. The world spun hastily around her, and she instinctively sought support by grabbing Shikamaru's arm.

"You alright?" he asked with a tint of concern.

Shikamaru saw Kankuro preparing to take on the shift instead of Tenten and gestured to him that they'd enter the forest. They would, of course, remain within the protective range of the traps. But he was still responsible for notifying whoever was on duty.

The shinobi hustled around, getting their last drinks and changing spots around the already formed conversational groups.

No one paid Temari and Shikamaru any real attention when they headed towards the trees — first her, with him following. There were a few of the not-so-tipsy teammates that noticed their two teammates moving away, but that was their leader and the Princess of Suna. They surely were going to talk business; there couldn't be any other possible reason.

Looking over her shoulder, she shot an inviting and challenging smile his way. He smirked.

Temari and Shikamaru didn't dare to go too far into the forest for safety reasons. However, both were hidden from view and out of earshot.

They circled slowly around the camp, enjoying the quiet and each other's company. Contrary to the flirting going on just before they took a walk out of camp, they actually talked mainly about whatever they missed in their lives and commented on the last Chuunin exams.

The accumulated tension slowly floated away.

Darkness, like a grey blanket, surrounded them. Only the moon glowed in a pale light, letting either catch some of the other's expressions. Everything else was just sound, scent, and touch.

Her arm occasionally brushed his, causing a shiver to run down her spine every time. She liked it.

Imperceptibly, a comfortable silence fell upon the two shinobi, and they kept walking slowly, simply having a good time.

"It's nice," Temari admitted more to herself than to him.

"The forest?" Shikamaru specified.

She gave a small smile and nodded; he caught the movement in the corner of his eye.

"Is it better than the walk we had during the last Flower Festival?" He inquired.

"It's… different," she said after a few moments of contemplation. "This feels more..." Temari gestured with her hands, seeking the word.

"Intimate?"

She stopped to give him a look; his face was a mix of lighter and darker shadows, making it hard to read his expression. "Yeah, it kind of… resembles… a date."

Shikamaru smiled, just a light tug of his lips, which she wouldn't have seen if she weren't staring at his face. He resumed walking in silence, and she followed suit.

After what felt like a few minutes, he whispered, "If I had to pick a place for a date with you, I'd have chosen the festival."

Temari's eyebrows raised. "Why?" She felt a tremble in her hands and immediately crossed them behind her back to prevent him from eventually noticing.

He didn't answer, but Temari caught an almost silent huff.

"I think I know why. You're afraid you'll mess up and I'll beat you up if we're not in public?" She teased and smiled when she heard him chuckle.

"Honestly, Temari, we know each other well enough. If you've decided to beat me up, the public place won't save my ass."

"True," she agreed, still smiling.

He sighed. "It's because you looked like you were enjoying yourself very much at the time; you were pleasant to be around." Shikamaru shrugged before adding, "You're a very competitive person. So when you won all of those little games, your mood got boosted even more."

She snorted but eventually admitted, "You're right. I like winning. I especially enjoyed the kunai throwing game, though."

He shot her a sideways glance. "You won a stuffed toy, if I remember correctly?"

"I did," she kept looking forward but nodded, "and you won one as well, didn't you?"

"Yes," he confirmed.

Temari's eyes skimmed the surface of the dark ground.

"You know," she hesitated but still kept going, "if we were on a date then, I'd have expected you to give me the toy…"

Shikamaru frowned; a light redness creeped on his cheek. The two images — of the Woman Temari and a stuffed toy — just didn't fit in the same picture for some reason. He felt really young again, just like when he didn't understand women at all and saw them only as something annoying. He really believed that for his twenty years on this earth, he'd gained some insignificant, superficial understanding about females. Maybe he was wrong? Or maybe Temari was just too different from the other women he observed.

"Frankly, Temari, I didn't even consider it."

She huffed — of course he wouldn't think of it. He was lazy and didn't like excessive effort. This big brain of his was not created to think of romantic gestures, after all.

Maybe it wasn't true, but at this very moment, Shikamaru looked so clueless and… normal. In a sudden rush of boldness, Temari hooked her hand around his arm. He'd frozen for a part of the second but gave her a puzzled look and didn't pull away.

Shikamaru successfully suppressed a flinch. Her scent filled his nostrils — a mix of a vague jasmine perfume, forest, and a tint of alcohol — which affected his body, turning him on. He took a deep breath, desperately needing to reverse the process of excitement that she had just triggered. One thing he could do was force his attention on something else. Talking was a good option.

"You've always been a really strong woman; it never crossed my mind that a stuffed toy could be something of your liking. Also… Now it's different." He shook his head, deciding against giving any additional explanation.

She chose not to ask him.

He remembered the walk during the Flower Festival as if it were yesterday, even though it was before the war. At the time, Shikamaru was looking at Temari as a woman he'd never try to approach because she was too troublesome for his taste — too confident, too noisy, too demanding, too strong, and many more "too"-s that didn't fit in his idea of the woman beside him. Still, he couldn't help but seek her company whenever she was around. Temari had something magnetic about her that didn't fail to pull him in. However, he wanted to keep things friendly between them, although he felt a strong sexual attraction for her. He was certain he would never act on it.

Temari's voice brought him back to here and now; his eyes searched for her face.

"The truth is most women don't care for stuffed toys, flowers, or other widely used gifts; attention is what they like and what we all crave for." Temari closed her eyes, just enjoying his proximity and the warmth he was radiating.

The alcohol had made her dizzy, but at the same time, she was infused with determination that she would handle his eventual rejection. To be fair, she had started to realise that if Shikamaru had any intention of rejecting her, he would have already done it. That is to say, he wouldn't have let her get so close to him in the first place.

"I'm still convinced Mirai was happier to receive a stuffed bunny than the woman, who had saved my ass on a regular basis in real fights," he whispered with amusement, and she pulled back to give him a look, grinning.

Shikamaru returned her small smile.

Temari released his arm and took a few steps towards a fallen log. When she didn't hear his steps following, she peeked over her shoulder.

"Coming, Nara?" The challenge was audible in her voice.

Shikamaru approached, hands in his pockets, and hesitated for just a second before sitting down beside her.

"Well?" He breathed out the word, barely distinguishable.

The time to clear things out has finally come. It was perfect — the self-restrictions had lowered, but her mind was already clear and sharp enough. She had to pick a path — one to him or one away from him. And Temari wanted to be as sure about her choice as possible. Her doubts were overwhelming and destructive in the long term.

The cards were going down on the table.

"Shikamaru," she started with a sigh, "during the gathering… Did you try to flirt with me?"

"Tcsh…" He placed a hand on his face, trying to hide himself from her piercing, teal eyes. "If you have to ask, then I didn't do a very good job, did I?" He let out a jittery laugh; it was so atypical for him that she felt uneasy.

But the answer to her question was 'yes'.

"What changed?" Her voice softened. She hesitantly touched his shoulder briefly, only with her fingertips.

He let his hand drop and glanced at her. His brain was overwhelmed, and he needed direction. When he spoke, he definitely sounded helpless.

"Elaborate," he almost pleaded.

"Between the Flower Festival and now, you said you see me differently."

He was silent for what felt like a long time; it looked as if he were trying to pull his thoughts together or maybe decide what to tell her.

A quiet sigh sounded before his voice enunciated, "Temari… We've worked together for some years." He waited for a nod. "I could honestly say I approached our mutual tasks with prejudice and reluctance. But fast enough, I found that you were smart and quick-witted, apart from being technically flawless and a strong shinobi."

He paused, clicking with his tongue.

"I started to enjoy the time we spent together more and more. Surprisingly, for myself, I was having a good time. You succeeded… You still succeed in provoking me and stimulating my mind. You challenge me constantly, making me try harder." He smiled slightly. "Since my dad died, my best shogi games were with you… I'm turning into a better shinobi, a person, and a politician… I'm turning into a better man as well—"

Temari's face heated up; she was grateful that Shikamaru wouldn't see it in the dark. The sincerity with which he spoke left her absolutely unprepared. She definitely had started to sober up, but that was a bit too much for her still-dizzy mind to cope with. She sucked in a deep breath, hoping to calm her racing heart and keep her focus intact.

"Wait a minute," she interrupted, "you are telling me you've liked me for years?"

"Yes, but like one of my very good friends. I didn't really want to date you, though. To be honest, I found the idea of flirting with you a bit disgusting when we first started to work together."

Temari frowned at his words.

"And how exactly have you reached the conclusion that the friend thing needs to change? Or I misunderstood you somehow?"

Shikamaru was silent yet again. Just before he started to quietly speak, he let his head drop low.

"I realised I was fooling myself," he said slowly.

Temari sensed the trembling notes of his inner resistance. It was hard for him to open up in front of her. Though he was trying.

"How did that happen?" she asked, her voice soft and encouraging.

"When everyone was caught in Madara's Infinite Dream during the war," he whispered, lifting his head. Shikamaru searched for her eyes; he really wanted to see her face, yet it was hidden in the shadows.

His hand hesitantly reached out, but it stopped before his fingers actually made contact.

In the Infinite Dream, everyone saw their most personal and innermost longings and wishes. The idea of him sharing that dream was heartwarming for her. And a bit exciting and scary at the same time.

"There were seven people in my dream..." he started, guiding his hand to finally lay on top of hers. His thumb stroked her palm, causing her to shiver. "My father and Asuma-sensei were alive again. Dad argued with mom, as he often did. Asuma held Mirai in his arms. Kurenai was smiling at both of them." He paused, pressing his lips together. "And I stood there, sharing aloud that maybe, maybe being together with someone... Sharing my life with someone isn't so troublesome in the end," he said, squeezing her hand, and she returned the gesture, "and you agreed with me."