Chapter 14: Inside A Thick Shell
The cloud shinobi were sipping their tea in the inn's common hall. Once they'd been dismissed from the arena, they went to their homes to do... whatever they needed to. After that, they returned to the inn and were now waiting for the other members of their group to get ready; there was a planned tour around the streets of Kumo. The raikage insisted on that, so they pretty much didn't have a choice.
One by one, the shinobi appeared on the stairs. The common room filled with more chatting, tea sipping, and occasional bursts of laughter. When the whole group gathered, a discussion started to determine if they would move around like a big tourist crowd or if it would be better to split up. Most of the shinobi liked the splitting idea more. They wanted to see and do different things, but the time was really limited. They had about three hours overall. After that, they would have to come back to the inn and prepare for the formal dinner.
Omoi, together with Atsui, Ittetsu, Sagan, Chojuro, and Kurotsuchi, planned to head down towards the main street for a walk. The lunch would be in passing, on foot. Neither of them wanted to waste time just sitting and eating.
The Iwa kunoichi couldn't help but shoot a curious look at Chojuro. She'd decided that it was about time to stand up to her own challenge and try to pry the information she wanted out of the poor swordsman. Mischief gleamed in her distinctively pink eyes.
Ruka still couldn't understand why that was so important. Kurotsuchi was a very affectionate woman, and had she decided to act on a man, he most likely wouldn't stand a chance if he was straight. But what if he wasn't? Would that knowledge, if it were turned into exposure, somehow affect Chojuro negatively? The mist kunoichi held him in high regard; for her, he was a good person and a great fighter. She wouldn't change her mind. But people were different and tended to disregard anything out of the 'norm'. She was well aware of that. That's why she was looking at him hesitantly from the corner of her eye, contemplating telling him about Kurotsuchi's ideas. Sighing, Ruka got up on her feet. As if Kurotsuchi sensed the intention, she cut in her way, smiling and shaking her head in a silent 'no.' The two women's eyes met. Ruka bit her lower lip and sat back down, averting her face.
Shortly after, the group was ready to leave.
Ino approached Karui from the side and placed a hand on her shoulder. Carefully. After observing her in the arena earlier, she confirmed her suspicions that the cloud kunoichi was too short-tempered and tended to jump into action before asking any questions.
"We should pick a place and get a meal as well," she said.
Her eyes drifted briefly to Chouji. His slender figure was hovering over Lee's shoulder as they both read from the same paper. His cheeks weren't as hollow as they had been right after the match; he looked pretty much normal. Almost.
"He needs to eat, ya know."
"Right." Karui nodded. "We can go to the main market. There are a few suitable places for a meal."
Ino looked around — the streets were unnaturally crowded. The ritual had attracted many people to Kumo, mostly tourists. There weren't that many in Suna and Iwa. The point was that getting into a place for a meal wouldn't be so easy. Especially at noon.
"Yeah, I think that may be a problem." Ino gave her a crooked smile.
"Karui, you do live here, don't you?" Chouji asked suddenly, causing her to turn.
"Yes..?" she said slowly, with caution.
"And you probably do have a kitchen?" He continued to interrogate, a small smile gracing his lips.
She frowned, sensing where those questions led. "It's a small one, but yeah... I do." Protectively, Karui crossed her arms.
Chouji handed her a list — the questionable paper he was reading just a moment ago — fully ignoring all signs pointing to her eventual disagreement. "I'll be needing those things and 45 minutes in your kitchen," he stated, still smiling.
Karui's eyebrows raised; she was taken aback. She had a pleasant discussion with him about cooking; that was true. She had mentioned that she wouldn't mind letting him into her kitchen; that was also correct. But at no point in their conversation did she mean that a whole crowd could just invade her personal space.
The red-haired woman's lips tugged at the edges in displeasure. She met his gaze, intending to tell him off, but couldn't. The tint of mischief in his eyes confused her, sealing her lips mute for a moment. It was long enough for the group to assume she was okay with the idea. In the end, she didn't have a choice but to put up with it.
The way she moved was obvious to emphasise her irritation; she snatched the paper from Chouji's fingers and read it. Her face twisted into a grimace.
"I'm not sure we'd find everything you want," she stated.
"It'd be too bad if we couldn't," Ino said, giggling. She'd peeked over Karui's shoulder to read the list as well. "I can guarantee that the recipe is yummy."
"Really? The recipe? Are you eating paper now?" Shikamaru pecked at her. "A new diet, maybe?"
"Ha-ha. You know what I mean, Shikamaru," she hissed against him, feigning annoyance. Her lips bloomed into a smile right after it.
"Come on, let's go!" Lee couldn't stay in one spot much longer. His body tensed gradually, and he started to make involuntary movements. "How much time will we need to supply all of these things?"
Karui frowned, making sure her reluctance was clear for everyone while looking at the list twice.
"About half an hour," was her reply in the end. She dropped the hand holding the paper. "That's in case we go right now. If we just hang around, it'll logically take more."
"Home cooked…" Kankuro said quietly. "Count me in."
Temari looked at her brother curiously. "Won't you come with me for a walk?"
"I may join you later." He grinned. "Eventually… But…" The man lifted his hands to both sides, palms upward. "I'm hungry, and he's cooking. You offer me a walk and grab something to eat on the way that may or may not be edible. I hope you see what's tipping the scales..."
"Pfft…" She huffed, shaking her head. "Hungry brothers tend to ruin my plans."
Kankuro shrugged, a grin still plastered on his face. "Come on, sis. It's not like you'll go alone. I'm sure someone else who doesn't treasure a good meal like I do can volunteer and keep you company." He laid a hand on her shoulders. "And if you get too bored, you can always kick an ass or two for fun."
Temari rolled her eyes, her arms firmly crossed over her chest.
Turning to Shikamaru, Ino's hand slapped lightly on his shoulder. With experience, she knew this would draw his attention in an instant.
"Are you coming for a meal?" she asked. "You like Chouji's cooking."
"I've never had the chance to walk around Kumo, really," he said. "I think I'll take advantage of the time and just grab something to eat in passing. I'll be joining Amai."
"There you go, sis! Group for walking, not for eating." Kankuro squeezed her shoulder; she grimaced, rolling her eyes yet again.
"Alright, except you two and Ameno, is there anyone else that would come for a walk to the pillars?" Amai asked, standing by the door.
"I would like to take a look at the herb market if it's on the way," Ruka said almost apologetically. "I'm preparing ointments and potions back home. And there are a few ingredients I have trouble finding in Kiri. I'd be happy to fill up my supplies if that's possible."
"Right. The herb market is near the hospital. We can adjust our route to pass through there." He smiled at her. "Actually, we can start with that."
"That would be great, Amai-san." Ruka glowed almost literally, but she shrank right away as if she were hit. "Only if the rest agree with the… inconvenience."
"It's fine," Temari said, waving a hand.
Shikamaru just shrugged. He didn't really care where exactly the walk would take place as long as he could keep a certain company around.
Ameno smiled. "It's alright, Ruka. Don't you worry that much."
Ruka nodded, her cheeks flushing red.
"Ok, then. We should get going." Ameno nodded towards the door and grabbed Ruka by the hand.
Tenten looked up at Kankuro's face, vivid curiosity all over her features.
He shot her a glance. "What is it?" he asked.
She gave him a one-sided smile in return. "Hmmm…"
Kankuro looked at her properly. "That's it? 'Hmmm'?" He teasingly imitated her tone.
"Well," — she shrugged nonchalantly — "I was just wondering, so it's not important."
"All right." He turned back to looking ahead and quietly added a few moments later, "You can tell me, though."
Tenten chuckled. It would've been weird if he hadn't tried to pry some information out of her.
She feigned hesitation. "I was thinking—" she started but shut up, teasing him further.
The kunoichi was playing with him. Kankuro couldn't think of a plausible reason for her being shifty, and that bothered him. Was she just being playful, or was she acting like that for another reason? He liked to think he possessed the ability to grasp other people's behaviour; it was actually something he was proud of. But he couldn't see through Tenten's intentions, and that tickled unpleasantly at his ego. The tickle turned into exasperation, which quickly erupted in a sharp "Yes?"
She took on a more serious expression. "You seem to have a face that is… pleasing to the eye," she said slowly.
He eyed her. "Well, thank you." Then he paused, unsure of where she was going with this. "What about it?"
"Of all the colours, why purple?" Tenten pointed at the line, crossing his mouth. "Your makeup... Purple is" — she hummed, hesitant — "poor choice considering your natural colours."
Kankuro didn't answer right away. He needed time to contemplate her comment. On the one hand, she had complimented his looks; on the other hand, she had questioned his taste in the appearance of that same look. Hadn't it been her, Kanuro might have taken it as an insult, even. The paintings had been part of him since he could remember. He pondered whether he should answer her or evade. Eventually, he decided to satisfy her curiosity.
"Because…" He peeked at her from the corner of his eye. "This isn't just ordinary makeup. This is a part of the Puppeteers' legacy in Suna since they created the art itself. Purple, as much as it doesn't suit me in your opinion, represents my pedigree and my status as a kazekage's brother."
"Oh…" Tenten bit her bottom lip, giving him a long look. Vivid interest twinkled in her eyes.
"And your clothes? They must've also been inspired by this art, then?" she inquired.
He nodded. "That's correct."
"Ah, you're formal again, Kankuro-sama," Tenten said in a mockingly serious tone. "You keep reminding me about your higher status, don't you?"
Kankuro let out a brisk breath, irritation flashing into his dark pools.
"You know I don't do that," he almost growled.
Tenten failed to stifle a chuckle. "Yeah. You wish you weren't a prince yourself, heh?" The tease was evident.
"I wish you'd behave a bit more normally." He frowned. "You're freaking me out."
"I'm trying to understand..." She clicked with her tongue. "Where do you fit in the bigger picture? How does it feel to be the kazekage's brother? How does it feel to be Gaara's brother?"
He was silent for a moment. It wasn't what she wanted to know; Kankuro was certain about that. But for now, he could engage in her game.
"As a middle child who doesn't possess the youngest one's talents or the oldest one's determination, I'm… filling the gaps." He grinned but became more serious right after. "Being the kazekage's brother is a great honour and a terrible responsibility. At the same time. I..." He huffed. "Actually, both Temari and I have to always be on the frontlines, walking on thin ice, no matter what is happening. We're obligated to take the low hits, the ones that even the kazekage doesn't know about." The man paused. "That's often exhausting, both physically and emotionally. But... He was very young when he acquired the title, so we've grown up with these expectations imposed on us: to protect him no matter the price, so he can protect Suna."
"Sounds harsh," Tenten whispered.
He shook his head.
"Being Gaara's brother is something else, something different. When he was younger, he needed a lot of love and support, but neither Temari nor I understood it. We were just scared. Later on, when we started to become closer and I saw the human under all of the other layers, I discovered I had love for him."
Kankuro smiled and took a few moments to return to that moment in the past.
"He turned out to be a very nice company when he didn't work. At least for the last couple of months." He chuckled as if he were remembering something funny. "Never thought that he'd start hiding in my rooms so we could have time to talk in private. It feels good to have my brother, kazekage or not, drifting to something resembling normality."
"He hides?" She exclaimed with a merry voice, already having a comical image in her head.
Kankuro nodded. "Recently, the expectations of the Council about Gaara getting married and producing a successor have been pressing." The man gave her a faint smile. "He feels safe in my space, as no one is coming after him there."
"Oh… They want him to" — she scrunched her nose and almost spat out the next word — "produce an heir?"
"They wish, yes."
Tenten frowned even further. "Because the title should stay in the family, is that it?"
"Yep. The sand-controlling ability runs in the family's blood as well, and it needs to be preserved." His voice sounded hollow, repeating something he had most likely been told numerous times. It was something imprinted in his brain.
"Isn't Gaara the only one who can control sand?" She asked, the surprise audible in her tone.
"Who told you that?" Kankuro responded with a question.
She looked at him with wide eyes.
"You and Temari can also control it?" Disbelief crossed her face.
"We do. Although neither of us excels at using it." He shrugged. "Picking the sand in this case would result in being a weak shinobi. We can't exactly afford weakness, so we both drifted from that path and went after our best abilities."
Tenten kept looking at him for a few more moments.
"I didn't know," she uttered in the end.
"Of course you didn't. There is no way you could've known this."
She nodded.
"It's in no way different than how the other shinobi pick their future styles and techniques," he remarked.
There was the faintest condescending hint in his tone. She heard it but decided to let it slide; instead, she nodded yet again.
They went silent for the next few minutes, just walking side by side and looking ahead. Tenten's amazement was strong enough to start repeating their conversation in her head. She gasped as she reached one particular thing Kankuro had said. After biting her lips and contemplating whether it'd be a good idea to bring it up again or not, she decided she'd give it a shot. And promised herself that she wouldn't press for anything more than he was willing to share with her, if anything at all.
"How does your brother feel about...?" She let the sentence hang in the air like a rope, swayed by the wind.
He shot her a glance. No further explanation was needed; her expression told him exactly what she was asking — she meant the Council's wish for Gaara to get married and have children.
"It's hard to tell," he said.
But it wasn't hard at all. Gaara had been freaking out, torn between fear and duty. They'd spoken many times about that, and Kankuro shared his brother's vision about having children to some extent. Frankly, that wasn't something he would tell just anyone. No matter how close he felt to Tenten, she hadn't penetrated into his intimate circle of people that deeply because... Well, she was still a stranger.
"Gaara doesn't want any children?" Tenten's curiosity brought her physically close to him with a step.
"He is" — Kankuro paused, his lips twitching as he tried to pick words that would be both honest and informative while at the same time not too revealing of his brother's personal matters — "conscious of whether he would handle fatherhood properly."
"They aren't trying to force him into a marriage, right?"
"They… do." It was his turn to be evasive. "Bloodline is important for the Council and the village."
"But… In case he's not the only one who can use the sand, does it need to be Gaara's child by all means?" Her eyes quickly drifted to Temari, hinting at what she really meant.
"No… But he's the most gifted of us three. So, the Council prefers his child above my sister's or mine." He smiled a sad smile but didn't look at her. "If Gaara refuses, one of us will have to suffice, I guess. Though…" He changed his mind and closed his lips instead, his head shaking.
"Though?" She insisted on a continuation.
"Honestly?" Kankuro raised an eyebrow.
"Always," Tenten said with no hesitation.
He bit his lip before admitting, "I'm not thrilled at the idea. I…" He sighed in resignation under her insistent gaze. "I prefer not to have any children."
She looked at him, taken aback; her jaw was slack, and her eyes were moving quickly over his features, seeking some kind of sign for mockery. She didn't find one.
"Can I ask…?" Tenten started, but, partly out of uneasiness and partly out of shock, she couldn't finish the question.
"You can." Kankuro's mouth tightened into a fine line. "But I shall not answer you now. Another time." Maybe, he added inwardly.
She nodded slowly, accepting his conditions.
"So you plan to resist any attempts on the Council's end to impose a marriage on you?" She whispered.
"I don't mind getting married per se. Especially if I'm the one who can choose the person next to me," he admitted. "But if that means I'll be expected to provide a successor for..." Kankuro went silent. When he spoke again, his voice was too composed and quiet. "Just for the sake of him or her being part of the kazekage's bloodline... Yes, I'll do my best not to succumb to their manipulations."
"Getting married usually means having children," she pointed out.
The man shook his head. "Not to me." He paused. "And if that's the only expected and mandatory outcome for me in the case of marriage, I'll most probably stay away from the whole fuss." He glanced at her. "You see, I simply wish to have someone close to spend the rest of my life with. That's my highest expectation, which, sadly, is more of a fantasy than an actual option. And, having in mind what I do for a living, 'the rest of my life' is rather not too long."
Kankuro wasn't complaining; he was stating this matter-of-factly, which brought chills to Tenten's back in return. He'd reconciled himself to the situation. She could understand it, but at the same time, she felt bad for him and a little angry as well. He wasn't the type to just put up with... Or was he? Tenten shook her head, returning to the current conversation.
"The way you look at it, It's just rare. Most people want the full package — partner, children, family, title, and a good position at work," she said.
"It looks simple, but—"
"But it's not," Tenten interrupted.
"No, it's not... I know what I want isn't something easy to compromise on. And I can't see many women coming along under such conditions." He was painfully honest about that, as he really didn't believe a healthy young woman would just drop her ability and instinct to have and raise children for his selfish reasons.
"I think I understand what you mean... But... Can I suggest something?"
He nodded.
"Stay open to the opportunities that come your way. Life may surprise you." She briefly laid a hand on his shoulder, reassuring him.
He let out a bitter laugh. It was such an irony to hear her talk about staying open to opportunities.
"The Council fears Gaara more than they fear me or Temari. So, if he says a firm no, they will press us about it next. And since Temari has a way out, I won't stand a chance if I'm alive."
"How come she has a way out?" Tenten wondered.
"If she gets married in another village to an approved candidate with an important enough political position and from a proper clan, she can leave. Even if I get married under the same conditions, my wife should come to live in Suna. I'm tied to the sands, Tenten." He peeked into her wide and sad eyes. "Don't look at me like that. I've been aware of how things are for a long time. It is how it is."
Tenten's heart clenched inside her chest. She hadn't given much thought to what being in a kage's bloodline exactly meant. The life of a shinobi was like being just a piece on the villages' playing boards. But Kankuro… wasn't one of the common ones. He was a pawn in the king's last line of protection. And when engaged in a game, the player — the village — would save that piece until the end, so they could sacrifice it to win. If the king needed a save, the King's Brother Pawn would be thrown into the fire to burn.
"He may be the strongest Suna shinobi and Kazekage," the man whispered, "but he's still my little brother."
Her face fell as she realised what Kankuro implied. His twisted responsibility and loyalty didn't end with Gaara's function and place in the village's hierarchy. And not only did Kankuro want to shield his brother from whatever he could, but he also wanted to prevent the doom of his own eventual future child from servitude to the Suna Council.
"So... you actually have a very gentle heart, it seems." Tenten concluded aloud.
He stopped in his tracks and stared at her. "Excuse me?"
She shook her head.
"Elaborate," he demanded.
"It's a good thing..." Tenten kept talking as if to herself more than to him. "I wouldn't be surprised if your heart was that of a true romantic," she added seriously.
Kankuro resumed walking, allowing the cogs in his head to click and turn rapidly. He needed to get out of this; it had gone too deep. It was dangerous to let her approach a discussion about his heart, feelings, or emotions. He didn't want to slip. He couldn't allow himself to slip.
"How did we get from you, asking about my face paint colour to you, drawing general conclusions about the imaginary qualities of my heart?"
"Oh, I ain't doing such a thing," she denied. "I'm drawing specific conclusions about your actual heart qualities." The kunoichi barely held her grin at the sight of his face.
Kankuro pressed his lips firmly together and refused to be provoked. He liked it when she was acting playful and lighthearted, which was happening more and more often. But when she showed him this resourceful and intuitive side of her, he felt a dreadfully strong attraction to the whole of her. And that was a problem, actually. Because he caught himself being drawn to her a bit too much.
Tenten took pity on him and decided she'd fall back, let him cool off, and gather himself together. She brushed beside him, giving him a brief smile in passing.
"You stand firmly on your feet, Kankuro-sama, but your core is soft."
Her words were barely audible. Her breath breezed over his neck, caressing his skin and leaving raised little hairs in its wake. She passed too fast to notice the goosebumps, and even later, she didn't look back at him.
Kankuro frowned. It wasn't the first personal conversation they had, but this time something felt off and uneasy. As if… Usually, she'd offer something in exchange for the things he'd tell her. This time, Tenten was only asking, staying on the receiving end of the informational chain; no reverse flow happened. And he allowed it. That was it. Normally, he wouldn't let her slip out of it without demanding information himself in return.
Fuck, he cursed inwardly. Recognising the symptoms didn't help but make his chest stir, bringing waves of shivers down his arms.
Kankuro shook his head, trying to clear his mind of certain ideas. Then he followed the group.
Ruka was left amazed by the great variety of herbs she found in the market.
Her teammates were surprised by her ability to chat freely with the merchants. It was like she had completely transformed into another person. She kept asking various questions about the herb growing process: temperature amplitude required, water and sun exposure, type of soil according to the needs of the plant, correct preservation after the drying process… everything she could think of.
She hadn't really told anyone, but one of Ruka's wishes was to build a few small glass houses in her heritage house's yard. The property was located in the skirts of Kiri, just a few miles outside the walls. She didn't live there, though. No one had been living there for a long time; it was too far to be comfortable for everyday travel.
Ruka had rented the smallest flat in the village's centre itself; the place was close to the hospital, where she had to do shifts. Whenever she wasn't in the hospital, she was either busy having missions, reading in the library, or attending to one of her few friends. Actually, she spent almost no time in her living space; she used it mainly to take showers, cook something, and sleep. She didn't own a TV, but a bookshelf and a cabinet with everything needed for the preparation of simple ointments and potions. And a few romances, which kept her sane after a tough mission that would make her lose faith in the male population.
The best thing about working at the hospital was that she was allowed to use the big laboratory to perfect her recipes, her true passion.
Someday, if she succeeded in surviving long enough and growing the rare plants requiring different climate conditions, she would quit being a shinobi. Many kunoichi did that to raise their children. Ruka wished she could also do that, but as the years passed, she somehow quit hoping. She would devote her life to that — perfecting and preparing ointments and potions to help current but mostly ex-shinobi. She witnessed their everyday struggles and suffering and was convinced she could do a lot to ease them.
Temari glanced at the two approaching teammates. When they were close enough, an exchange of polite nods followed as Ittan and Shee joined the small group.
"I thought she was shy and socially awkward," Amai remarked with an amused smile while watching Ruka.
"I also thought that," Ameno agreed, holding her gaze over the woman.
Ruka was filling bag after bag with herbs and seeds until both of her hands were uncomfortably full.
"I guess she's a bit more complicated than just cute," the woman added.
"I believe Ruka has a lot about her that's not… exactly... obvious," Temari whispered, crossing her arms.
"The mizukage wouldn't have picked her if she was really so ordinary, as it seems at first glance," Shikamaru concluded seriously, his dark eyes carefully following her movements.
Ittan nodded at his words. The only reaction visible on Shee's face was a brief flash of curiosity in the depths of his almost black eyes. He initially intended to ask Amai why he brought their teammates here. The market wasn't a tourist destination. But seeing Ruka's happy face with slightly flushed cheeks gave him the answer in advance.
"She wasn't joking about wanting to fill up her supplies," Amai said after a few moments of silence.
"At the sight of it, she may intend to open her own shop back in Kiri." Ittan chuckled.
He tended to joke now, as his chest was lighter. After he dropped a scroll that Oonoki had entrusted him with to give the raikage, he felt better. That's why Shee was accompanying him one-on-one in the first place.
"That might be the case," Amai agreed, amused.
"What was the plan before you ended up here?" Shee asked, crossing his arms.
"We were about to take a tour under the pillars and in the tourist part of the main street," his fellow cloud shinobi replied. "Nothing so purposeful, just to take in the sights."
Ameno laughed, looking playfully at Ruka. "But somehow we got stuck around this place for about half an hour already... We have decided to come here first, but by the look of it, we should have come here last," she finished with a chuckle.
"It looks important for her," Shikamaru said. "Maybe if we go in a few minutes... Maybe we will have the time to come back here on the way back to the inn? She could finish then."
"Possibly." Amai nodded thoughtfully. "We can make this work." He turned to Ittan and Shee. "Will you be joining us?"
"Walking sounds good." Ittan shrugged.
"No, I can't," Shee declined. "I still have to take care of one or two personal matters." He cast a sideways glance at Ruka. "She's really enjoying herself."
As if she had sensed his look, Ruka turned towards the group. Instantly, her eyes widened and her cheeks flushed. She bowed to the merchant and headed straight to her teammates, the full bags dangling in her hands.
"I'm so sorry!" She started to apologise. "I really lost track of time."
"Did you get what you needed?" Shikamaru asked.
Ruka averted her face and let out a nervous chuckle. "More or less. But, you see, I need a lot of information as well as supplies. Gathering it will take some more time. So... I'll try to come another time... or give a list to someone coming to Kumo, or—" She'd started to count her options on one hand. At the same time, she was trying to avoid the bags getting in the way. They didn't look heavy, though they took quite some space.
"No need," Shee interrupted. "If you all agree, I can wait here until Ruka-san finishes her…" He gestures in the general direction of the market.
"Supply," Ruka whispered, her face even redder.
"Yes, thank you." The man nodded. "I'll accompany you back to the inn afterwards. I need to stop at one particular place on the way, though."
Ruka beamed like a little sun. Her wide, radiant smile forced blushes on almost all the faces around her.
"Really? You'd do that?" She asked, gaping.
"I don't really mind," Shee said honestly. "You'll get your supplies; I'll visit the place I must visit; the rest of the group will go sightseeing. Everyone gets what they want."
"And I call this efficient planning," Shikamaru interjected with a content smile, sticking his hands in his pockets.
"Alright!" Temari clapped her hands, drawing all attention to herself. "We already have a plan; let's get to it." Her grin was cheeky and challenging.
One look at her, and Shikamaru could tell she had something planned as well. He wasn't entirely sure he would like it. But even if it were supposed to give him a headache, he still caught himself looking forward to it.
Temari and Ameno waved goodbye and turned to the market exit, followed by Ittan. Shikamaru nodded to Shee one more time, falling in step with the rest. Amai smiled at his cloud shinobi teammate.
"Thank you for taking on escort duty. I know you were freed of it with the A's consent."
Hearing this made Ruka gasp; her cheeks, which had started to fade into normal skin colour, reddened again. Shee shot her a glance.
"It's not really an issue. I wouldn't have offered it if it were," he replied calmly.
Amai nodded. "See you both later, then."
"Laters," Shee confirmed.
"See you later, Amai-san," Ruka whispered in a thin voice. "Thank you!"
The man smiled at her, then rushed after the group. They had only two hours left and had to hurry up.
Ruka stood in place, unable to decide whether she should speak or go back to her supplies. She felt really guilty for holding her teammate back from completing his own tasks. She even contemplated asking him to just return to the inn.
"Come on," Shee said unexpectedly softly, making her flinch. "Go on and get what you need."
She gathered all of her will and lifted her chin. Their eyes met. Ruka was afraid that he would be pissed off and impatient. Surprisingly, there was nothing of the kind. His eyes were calm and peaceful.
Opening her mouth to express gratitude, she couldn't make a sound.
Shee let a very brief smile cross his stoic face. He gently pushed her back towards the merchants. "Don't worry, Ruka. It's fine," he assured.
Ruka pulled herself together and nodded curtly. She spun in her spot and headed right back to where she left off. A wide, charming smile graced her face as she stepped towards the man behind the stand.
"I'm sorry I left so suddenly, Rou-san," she apologised.
"No problem." The man beamed. "I saw you had company waiting."
"Yes. They were going to lose a great deal of the little time we have here by just standing and waiting for me." She paused. "Wasn't fair."
He nodded. "I see."
She pulled out a little notebook and almost dropped a few of the bags.
Shee huffed in amusement at the sight. But as funny as it was, he couldn't just leave her struggling with something like that. So he took a few steps in her direction.
"Give me those," he said, not waiting for her to agree but just snatching the bags, freeing her hands.
After the initial shock passed, Ruka looked up, bold as he had never seen her until now. She laid a hand on his wrist and slightly squeezed, as if her fingers were butterfly wings. "Thank you, Shee-san."
The expression of such honest emotion left him feeling... thrilled.
"Right," he uttered. "I'll be over there." Shee pointed at a little fountain in the middle of the market, surrounded by a few benches.
"I'll try to hurry up," she promised.
He nodded. While turning, he heard the quiet rustling of pages, as she had most probably opened her notebook. The man couldn't help but silently snort in amusement.
"Your boyfriend seems nice," the merchant said.
The rustling stopped at his words.
"He isn't my boyfriend."
"There's a chance he might be free. Gonna marry him?" The man leaned forward a bit, lowering his voice. "You may as well before another girl snatches him away."
Unwillingly, Shee's ears pricked up in curiosity. He wouldn't just stop to listen to them, nor would he go back. But for some reason, he wanted to hear her answer to the provocation.
"No, I won't." She shook her head. "But I'm sure whoever does marry him will be a lucky one."
"Oh? Too bad; he looks like the caring type." The man glanced in Shee's direction. "If I had any daughters, I'd want kind men for them."
"He's a really... kind person, but he's not my boyfriend," Ruka said with a subtle firmness behind her otherwise apologetic smile.
Her words were very quiet but could still be heard from a few feet away. Shee raised an eyebrow. He couldn't help but wonder if she really believed in this — that a woman he marries would be a lucky one — or if it was just a polite follow-up. He redirected some chakra to his ears, so he could hear better. Meanwhile, he kept walking towards the benches; he had almost reached them.
"You know that you can try to—" the man started in a conspiratorial manner.
But she didn't let him finish. "Please… Our relationship, if it can be called that, isn't of this sort."
Shee sat down, frowning at the realisation that his teammate's breath was coming out short. Her breathing was laboured, probably because of the extreme discomfort. He looked at her; she was somehow blurry. The first reaction was to rub his eyes, though nothing changed. That puzzled him and set the cogs of his brain into motion.
"I'm just saying that if he's one of the good ones, you may try to get him for yourself. That's all," the merchant said slowly, obviously trying to calm her down.
"I'm certain he's one of the best ones." Was her firm answer. "But I doubt very much that he is interested in any relationship if he isn't in one already."
"The men are clueless, dear," a woman's voice joined.
Shee flinched but didn't let his initial reaction snap his head up and give him away. Instead, he glanced carefully — a middle-aged woman stood by the man behind the stand. Her face had a sympathetic expression.
"They are capable of ignoring a wall the whole time before their faces smash all over it."
Ruka shook her head. "That may be true..."
"It is, dear. Got that from a bitter experience." She leaned in and added, whispering. "I have four sons." Then she pointed shamelessly at the man beside her. "And that's their father."
He grinned.
"Not gonna apologise for it," he laughed and bent behind the stand.
"So, what's the problem? You think he has someone else?" the woman asked.
"It doesn't matter if he has or hasn't."
Shee couldn't see her face, but he thought her eyebrows were probably drawn together.
"He's a good person, and he's devoted to his duty. Whoever he set his eyes on, they would surely be more worthy." She huffed, suddenly becoming aware of the light slip, and hurried to add, "If he wants a woman at all, he will find one."
"Oh, dear girl..." Started the woman, pity dripping in her voice,
"I really appreciate your desire to help me, but I don't need this kind of help. I'm here for something else, so please..."
Paper rustling.
Shee caught the image of her leaning forward and pointing something at the stand. He withdrew the chakra from his ears and sighed.
"More worthy", she had said. If he ignored the fact they were referring to him in particular having a relationship with her, she just seemed to put herself down. Most kunoichi had high self-esteem and thought themselves irresistible to men, probably because they were more often than not. They were well built and intelligent over the average, and even though their status was below that of the royals, it was still higher than that of every common woman not practising the shinobi profession.
It was already clear that Ruka had anxiety issues. What had been just said here only confirmed it and pointed out another eventual problem with valuing herself. The man could only guess if that problem was real and resulted in underestimating herself or if all of that behaviour was a well-measured and perfected performance. In the latter case, he would have taken his metaphorical hat off for her.
Though he felt she wasn't pretending. It was as if he could feel it in his bones.
More worthy, he repeated inwardly. It indicated she had some kinds of doubts. He didn't know what or where they were coming from, and frankly, it was none of his business. Nor was it in his area of interest. It was his annoying curiosity speaking, forcing him to pry for information that wasn't meant for him to possess.
Regarding his opinions and experience, the shinobi couldn't really afford to doubt, especially not in their own abilities. There weren't many self-doubting ones that were walking around, because questioning one's own decisions or abilities often meant the loss of one's life. Or a comrade's life, which was equally bad, if not worse. On the other hand, sometimes having a healthy dose of doubt and suspicion about other people or situations might actually save one's life.
But… Here came the most intriguing thing about Ruka: during the match in the arena, she didn't look unsure or self-doubting. Everything she did there was confident, well-calculated, and safe for everyone around her. Yet she stood over there, unsure if she was good enough for someone like him. Or, to put it more accurately, she was doubting someone like him would set their eyes on her. Did she have such high opinions of him? Or so low? He shook his head, dismissing the last direction of his train of thought.
The question was: were any of Ruka's words correct?
Truth be told, had he looked for any woman to get himself into a relationship with, Ruka might have attracted his attention. But Shee wasn't looking for anyone. And that had nothing to do with Ruka being attractive, worthy, or not.
Thank you, jtoo :)