Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
6
Regression Towards the Mean
One in a while, a sampling of a variable will have an extreme result when compared to previously collected data. The previously collected data acts like the average used for comparison. When the same variable, but a different sample is tested again, it is more likely, statistically speaking, that the data will be closer to the average. This is called the regression towards the mean.
It took effort to pick up my feet when I was tired enough to drag them. But the effort was necessary to remain silent. It felt funny standing here. As if the last few hours hadn't happened. Anzu had laid out the futon and the bedding as usual. She lay on her stomach; face turned away from me. How was she able to sleep? I asked myself as I tiptoed over to the futon. Pulling back the duvet, I slipped into my usual spot.
Anzu jerked awake. "Who's the-" She started to yell. Her initial terror helped me feel better.
"Shut up", I interrupted as I settled; resting my head on the pillow. "I'm mad at you".
There was a pause, as Anzu processed everything. "Rion?" She asked as she sat up and turned towards me; moving faster than she normally does. Her eyes were red and puff. Which made my good feeling about scarring her less potent.
Yawning, I closed my eyes. "Who else would climb into bed with you?" As soon as I said it, I realized it was a stupid question.
Not that Anzu reacted like it was. "What are you doing here?"
"Trying to sleep". It was an honest answer. Even if it wasn't what Anzu had actually been asking. "I'm tired".
There was silence, but I felt like I could hear the wheels turning in Anzu's head. "The door was locked. How did you get in?"
And Anzu's interrogation continued. "Picked the lock". I answered, shortly. Locking picking was definitely one of the most useful skills I learned at the academy.
"How did you get here?"
How did she think I got here? It wasn't like there were many modes of travel in this world. "Walked".
"….And your…. He just let you go?"
Sighing, I opened my eyes and peered up at Anzu looming over me. "No. The first time I tried; I didn't make it out of the compound. He dragged me back and took my shoes". Meaning I had to walk here barefoot. "The second time; I waited until everyone was asleep and climbed out a window".
"Rion", Anzu drawled out the middle syllable of my name in exasperation. "You ran away". Laying down on her side, she placed her elbow on her pillow and propped up her head with her hand.
"Why do you sound surprised?" It was a genuine question. I mean, did I seem like the sort to stay put? It was a struggle to think of a time I listened to anyone unless I had a motive to do so. "They can't make us do anything", I said before Anzu could answer. "This is just a bunch of bull-"
My voice became mumbled as Anzu slapped a hand over my mouth. She never did like it when I swore. "Rion, you can't run away. He's your…. And he can give yo-" Anzu cut herself off as her face twisted into an expression of disgust. "Ewww! Did you just lick my hand?" Anzu expressed as loudly as she could without disturbing our neighbors. She removed her hand from my mouth and started waving it around the air as if that would get my salvia off. "That's so gross", she whined as I rolled over so my back was pointed towards her. But she wasn't done. "Rion, you have to go back". I groaned loudly into my pillow. "It's not safe here".
I saw an opening and I took it. "It's not safe out there. Do you want me walking back at this time of night?"
There was silence; the only sign that Anzu was thinking. "Alright", she caved. Lying back down, Anzu pulled the duvet up higher over both of us. "Just for tonight".
I hummed in response. We'd see about that.
"Ne", Anzu started as she got comfortable. "What did you have for dinner?"
Why did that matter? I questioned in my head, but I answered anyway. "Pork cutlet". With Anzu satisfied, we had a few moments of rest. But I wasn't. "Hey, Sis. Do you remember Shino?"
Anzu took her time answering. "The boy who has a crush on you?" She checked.
Staring at the wall, I shared a new factoid of my life that I was struggling to comprehend. "He doesn't have a crush on me. Shino is my… brother". It was a weird thing to think. It was weirder saying it aloud.
It was that discovery that finally calmed me down after Shibi dragged me to his home. Not because I found having a secret brother calming, but because it shocked me to stillness and silence.
Upon reaching his home, Shibi had gently lowered me to my feet in front of his porch. Despite the fact that he had been listening to me describe how I was going to disembowel him in a very graphic manner. "It is done", Shibi had said to someone over my head.
There was a difficult choice to make between kneeing Shibi in a special part or turning around. The choice I would have enjoyed the most was obvious. But everything I'd been taught about being aware of one's surroundings had me turning. Standing half on the porch and half in the doorway that led to the interior was Shino. My mind crashed like a computer does when it has too many programs running. A complete system overload.
Shino had bowed. "Thank you, father", he had said. As if Shibi had done him a favor.
After having heard the story, Anzu asked, "Do you think he knew? Shino, I mean."
"I don't know", I said. I mean, I had a hunch. But the data to support it was insufficient.
Shibi was at the door bright and early. "I apologize for the disturbance", he said as soon as Anzu had opened the door. In one hand, he held my shoes. The other, he used to adjust his glasses.
"Uh, no. Um, I mean…" Anzu struggled to find the words. It must be hard. Having to accept someone else taking responsibility for a kid that had been her headache for years. I took my shoes from Shibi without a word. "I don't mind", Anzu finished as she and Shibi watched me pull the sandals on.
Shibi moved away from the door and I followed. "See you later, Sis", I said over my shoulder as Shibi led the way out of the building. No one corrected me.
After that morning, I found a purpose for Iruka-Sensei's stupid notebook and started a new game. This game didn't involve fading into the background or tormenting well-meaning teachers. It was, in a nutshell, a game of mastermind. In the mastermind, one player would create a pattern using different colored pegs. The second player had to figure out what that pattern was through a finite number of guesses with player one telling player two how many they got right and how many were the right color but in the wrong place.
I spent the first-day making observations. As many as I could. That would help me form hypotheses. I decided to easiest way to do this was to learn Shibi's and Shino's schedules. There were some errors in this plan.
1. It was currently the weekend. Shino and I didn't have school and Shibi didn't appear to be taking any missions. Meaning, the schedule I learned today was going to be different come Monday.
2. My being here would disrupt Shino's and Shibi's routines in ways I couldn't predict.
3. Shibi kept disappearing from rooms without me noticing.
4. Shino spent the day following me around.
Throughout the day as I made my notes, Shino remained glued to my side. When I was sitting at their kitchen table, Shino was in the seat next to me. When I was lounging in their family room, Shino was occupying the same space. When I moved, he moved. And that was the theme of the day. Obnoxious. Especially because he wouldn't talk to me.
When Shibi had brought me back after I had disappeared during the night, Shino had been standing on the porch just like he had the evening prior. No one said anything. Similar to how Shibi had led me back to his home. A look passed between father and son. And it ended with Shino adjusting his glasses and Shibi ruffling the hair on top of my head with a heavy hand.
Even though I had left his house in the dead of night without any sort of consideration for my newly found blood relations, Shibi hadn't touched me the whole walk back. Not even to make sure I didn't runoff. So, the unexpected contact, one that was not even punishing, had me closing my eyes and yelping as I swatted Shibi's hand away. A couple of years of observing Iruka-Sensei and Naruto had taught me that when someone went from your head after you did something you weren't supposed to do, yelping was going to be an appropriate reaction. But when I had felt nothing painful, I cracked open an eye. Shibi was already a few steps away from me; on the porch and heading into the house. That was it? Anzu had fussed at me more for running away than my supposed new guardian.
That just left me and Shino. With the height advantage he had both naturally and because he was standing on the porch, Shino stared down at me. It made me wonder if he was blinking under those sunglasses, or if he was truly holding his gaze. "You left", he had commented after it became clear that I wasn't going to take the first step. Whatever he thought that first step was.
"Yes", I answered. Not sure where he was going with this.
"I am your brother". Shino's said it in a way that made me think that he wanted me to take some sort of significance from his words.
Again, not sure where he was going with this. "In a way, I suppose you are". I blinked. It was unclear if Shino did the same.
"I am displeased", Shino shared. From his posture, hidden facial expression, and flat affect, I couldn't see it. Besides, what was he displeased about? The fact I had left, or the fact that he was expected to share his house and Shibi with me.
It didn't take much to draw the conclusion that Shino was not going to tell me anything that would cue me in on the point he was trying to make. Moving forward, I stepped onto the porch; leveling the playing field. Well, kind of. Shino still had a few inches on me. Stopping in front of him, I faced Shino and clapped a hand on his shoulder. "I'm displeased too". Removing my hand, I walked a few steps to enter the house. "I'm hungry. Is there bread? I want toast". Shino followed. And that is the story of how I got my silent and displeased shadow.
The observations I made throughout the day did not tell me much. Shibi was very much like his son. Meaning, I was struggling to read him. It didn't help that neither of them was giving me much to work with. Behavior begets behavior after all. Iruka-Sensei was easy to irritate because I knew his ticks. Ami and company were easily avoidable because they were creatures of habit. I knew their patterns and was able to manipulate them to my benefit. With Shibi and Shino, it was like they were more machine than human. Like there was no behavior to observe. And what could be observed wasn't spontaneous actions. Rather, it was their responses to my choices. If I left a cupboard door open, Shino closed it a second later. The framed collections of butterflies hanging on the walls in the hallway; if I moved them so they were hanging off-balanced, Shibi would have them straightened before the hour passed.
It led to a new question. Were they just going to let me do what I want and then clean up after me? To test this, I wandered into Shino's room. He didn't stop me; just followed. I rearranged his books on his bookshelf so they were no longer sorted by the authors' names. Shino didn't stop me. He just stood by his bedroom door and watched. A muscle in his cheek started to twitch when I found his completed homework and I folded it into a paper crane. But I only got a reaction from him when I found his supplies of training Kunai and attempted to impale one of his bedroom walls. Then he crossed the distance between us with a few hurried steps and grabbed my wrist before I could let one fly. "No", Shino said simply; breaking the silent treatment he had been giving me since this morning.
When I got a free moment, I made a note of the exchange in Iruka-Sensei's stupid notebook. A few more like that and I might be able to define the limitations of Shino's patience.
Shibi was a different matter entirely. Whenever I was in the same room as him, he would quickly finish what he was doing and scurry off. Kind of. If he was reading in the family room when I entered, Shibi would finish his page, look up and stare at me. Like he wanted to say something. And after a minute or so of awkward silence and expectation, he closed his book and left the room. Other times, he'd leave without me noticing. Like in the front yard. I walked outside to see how far Shino would let me go before he did something about it (answer: it was the edge of the compound). Shibi had already been there; gardening, of all things, with a watering can that had a daisy-shaped nozzle. When Shino and I had stepped off the porch and onto the grass, Shibi had turned and looked at us. Just watching as I attempted to start a serpentine to see if Shino was so determined to follow me that he'd be willing to do something that silly (answer: he wasn't. Shino stood still and watched me make a random trek through the yard). At one point, I turned my back to Shibi to make a figure eight. When I could see him again, he was gone.
I found his behavior baffling, slightly insulting, and downright frustrating. Baffling because I couldn't make heads or tails of it. What Shibi was doing counteracted his actions from yesterday and this morning. Where he had carried me to his home kicking and screaming, and when he had picked me up from my apartment bright and early.
It was slightly insulting, because why go through all the trouble of claiming the ill repute bastard child that would tarnish your own reputation if you didn't want something from her? If you didn't want to get to know her? As someone who had spent some idle thoughts on who my sperm donor could be; someone who wasted time on looking into the faces of strange men I passed by on the streets and asking if that could be him, this snub felt personal. Even if it could be to my benefit if Shibi wasn't an involved parent.
Mostly it was frustrating because Shibi's behavior was affecting the validity of my data. Out of all the times, Shibi had left the only consistent variable was that I was there. Meaning, I was causing the behavior. In this case, I was a third variable that was screwing up the correlations I was trying to detect and prove. And as the person trying to conduct this research, there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn't observe Shibi if I couldn't see him. What an awful paradigm.
It took some brainstorming, but I ended up keeping track of how long Shibi would stay in my presence before he fled; attempting to see if there was any sort of trend. So far, Shibi's record, excluding meals, is ten minutes. While his average was three minutes.
As the day dwindled into the evening, I ended up back at their kitchen table with Shino seated next to me. Shibi served salad and grilled salmon for dinner. It needed salt, but I ate it anyway. Just like the previous night, Shino and Shibi were silent. It was unclear if this was the norm.
Halfway through the meal, Shibi managed to say a full sentence. The sarcastic side of me was tempted to applaud. "You need clothes", he stated as he stared at me through his sunglasses. Or so I was assuming.
"Alright", I answered with a shrug. All I had was Iruka-Sensei's stupid notebook, his gifted pencil case, and the clothes I had been wearing when Shibi had made his claim. So, I had slept in these clothes and worn them all day. They probably were starting to smell. "I'll go home after dinner and change". Was I aware that I could've grabbed clothes when I had been home this morning? Yes. Did I purposely not do that for this very chance? ...Yes.
There was a pause as Shibi took his time answering. "No". They did seem to like that word in this family.
Shrugging, I tried to make eye contact. But it was impossible to know if I succeeded because of the sunglasses. "Then I won't change my clothes". Another day and Shibi would probably cave. I mean, what would people say if I returned to the academy in clothes that hadn't been washed?
"No", Shibi said again. Geez, dude. Make up your mind.
"Then I'll go home and get clothes", I repeated.
"No". There was no pause this time. "Tomorrow. Shopping".
I rolled my eyes at his single-word utterances. Was it really that difficult to use sentences? But that wasn't what I should be focusing on. Not when tomorrow was looking up to be a trial of its own. Shopping with Shibi Aburame. Now, that was an outing to create precious family memories.