Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Trajectory
"Line B in the diagram indicates the trajectory of a shuriken thrown at enemy C from atop of a tree 7 meters tall. Describe and formulate the trajectory required if C were to move to positions; D, E, and F. Also predict the farthest possible range of the shuriken and explain how you arrived at your answer".
Trajectory is defined as the path of an airborne object that is in the air due to the action of a given force. Mathematically, the trajectory can be represented as:
Y=xtan0 – gx(squared)/2v(squared)cos(squared)0
But further information is required before the formula can be used. What is the angle of the projection from a horizontal point? What is the absolute initial velocity? How much will gravity affect acceleration? What about the horizontal component? Or the vertical component?
To answer this question, I needed to satisfy the requirements of the formula, then replicate it three more times for the other positions. Which meant finding the distance between the top of the tree and all the enemy positions. Then it would take some guesswork and personal know-how to answer the second part of the question. Each answer would vary between participants since strength and skillset affect how each shinobi could throw a shuriken. Not that that would matter since they were all supposed to be cheating anyway. And finally, I needed to explain how I arrived at my answer. A good thing for everyone who cheated off my paper, Ibiki gave me an answer to memorize. Otherwise, I'd just write "math", and call it a day.
Everything hurt. Every little movement took effort. Even lifting my pinkie finger was a strain. Gai… was a monster. "Rion", a voice drawled as a form of greeting. "You're here early". Stiffly I turned my head from where it lay on top of the desk.
Shikamaru and his team stood next to me in the exam hall. "I could say the same about you", I grumbled. Shikamaru had his hands in his pockets with his shoulders slumped. Chouji munched on a bag of BBQ chips. Only Ino looked unhappy to see me. "What's the matter, Shikamaru?" I teased. "In that much of a hurry to become a chunin?"
Scoffing, Shikamaru looked to the side; his eyes studying the room and its occupants. None of the proctors were here yet… sort of. They were watching but hiding. Or so Ibiki claimed. It was unwise to leave genin from different villages to their own devices. So, someone had to supervise. A few teams were already here. I arrived with the two other plants a little after the doors opened. Making us the third 'team' to enter the exam hall. It was mostly leaf genin present. But a few from Suna had started trickling in; taking up a whole corner for themselves.
"We got here early to scope out the competition", Ino loudly declared; her hands on her hips. A few of the other genin snapped their heads in her direction to glare at such a bold statement.
Chouji took a bigger handful of chips than he normally would and stuffed all of them into his mouth. Stress eating. Poor guy. I kept my eyes on Shikamaru. "Oh, so you only got here before everyone else because of Ino".
The blonde bristled as Shikamaru sighed. "Yeah. It's troublesome. But she'd only get worse if we didn't cave".
"Shikamaru", Ino growled in warning.
Though Shikamaru looked too used to it to be affected. "Rion, where's your team?" Chouji asked; a few crumbs catching on the corners of his mouth. "Is it wise to sit by yourself?"
Reading the hostility and nervous energy in the room, Chouji wasn't wrong. As more and more teams entered, the feeling only became more overbearing. It could easily be turned into an open season if we weren't careful. "They're over there", I said; waving a hand at the front of the room where most of the test-takers were gathering. "But they're older than me so it feels weird hanging out with them". The look of concern on Chouji's face made me say more. "Don't worry. If someone beats me up that just means I have an excuse to drop out of this exam". Though what I said seemed to only make Chouji stress eat more.
"Why even come if you're not going to take this seriously?" Ino asked, sounding offended.
Scooting down the bench when Chouji gestured for me to do so, I kept my focus on Shikamaru. "Are you taking these exams seriously?" I asked him as Chouji plopped down next to me.
"Troublesome", Shikamaru grumbled as he climbed to sit on the edge of the desk; his back towards me and shoulders parallel to Chouji. In that context, it was unclear if he was referring to me or the exams.
"What are you two doing?" Ino asked as Chouji let me eat one of his chips. "Let's sit somewhere else".
"Rion's alone", Chouji protested as I leaned some of my weight on him. Ah, my favorite pillow. Shikamaru was too boney. "She's our friend. We should stay together".
Ino looked like she was ready to explode. "Yeah, Ino", I goaded. "Let's be friends".
Shikamaru eyed me as a way to tell me to knock it off. Just because it was him, I backed off as Ino folded her arms and tried not to strangle me. He would have to be with her for the rest of the exams. Including the time spent in the Forest of Death. The least I could do, for the sake of his sanity, was not piss her off… much.
More and more people entered; complaining about some stupid genjutsu as they found places to sit. Most flocked towards those who they shared a village with. All of them were older than us. Older than Team Gai too. It made me question the wisdom of sending the rookie nine to take these exams. As we talked about mundane things amongst ourselves, mostly food related, I recognized some of the teams; Team Gai, Gaara and his siblings, Kabuto, the sound team, and that one grass ninja who wasn't actually from the village hidden in the grass and looked like the snake version of Yuki Onna. Suddenly, I was glad my boys choose to wait close to me.
Why was Orochimaru here? I knew there was a chance he would be. With the sand invasion unknowingly hanging over everyone's heads. But hadn't Orochimaru only entered the exams because of Sasuke? I mean, Sasuke didn't have his Sharigan yet. Thanks to Haku, Sasuke had been spared the emotional push he needed to unlock it. So, what was the point? Orochimaru didn't need to pretend to be a genin for the invasion to happen. Being the sound team's jounin sensei would be enough of a ruse.
I focused on Chouji as he described a new chip flavor he found. Just so I wouldn't be caught staring. Could I find a way to point out this intrusion to Anko or Ibiki? This wasn't the first time I asked myself this question. Since returning from the Land of Waves, I thought about it often. But… the facts never changed. There was no reason that I should no about Orochimaru's presence or the looming sand invasion. My one chance was if I had been allowed to interrogate the foreign ninja passing through our gates for the exam. But Ibiki wouldn't let me. I was no good as a plant if the foreign teams saw me interviewing them and checking their travel documents.
"All you do is talk about food", Ino complained as Shikamaru tapped on the desk in front of me.
"Your brother's here", he said when he had my attention.
Following Shikamaru's gaze to the doors, I confirmed that my brother was indeed there. He stood at the center of his team; hands in his pockets as Kiba bared his fangs at anyone who looked at them and Hinata twiddled her fingers.
I flared my chakra a little. Not enough to be noticed in a crowd this size. But since Shino's bugs found my chakra… what word had he used? Tempting? Shino found me at once. Leading his team, he walked towards us. "Hey guys", Kiba greeted as soon as they were close enough; a wolfish grin on his face as Akamaru yipped from the top of his head. "Surprised to see you here".
"What does that mean?" Ino demanded to know.
"You ready?" I asked Shino as he stood in front of the desk we occupied. In the background, Kiba and Ino talked trash about each other's teams. They seemed to enjoy the exchange.
"Yes", Shino answered.
Chouji greeted Hinata as Shikamaru watched the interaction between me and my brother. I blinked. Assumingly, Shino did the same from behind his glasses. Shino pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. I rolled my eyes before answering his silent question. "Yes, I'm ready too. You don't need to worry. I'm not going to embarrass the clan".
Shikamaru snorted as if he disagreed. I'd call him out about it if I didn't secretly agree. "I am not worried", Shino argued. "Why? Because the Aburame clan accepted your… differences a long time ago".
… Did Shino just lie to me?
Ino suddenly running off had us returning our attention to the doors. "Ino", Chouji called after her as he cut his conversation with Hinata short; sounding concerned. Team Seven had just entered. They stood with their backs to the doors; taking everything in and looking terrified. Well… except for Sasuke. He looked like he couldn't care either way.
As if it took him great effort, Shikamaru slipped off the desktop. "We'd better follow", he told Chouji. Though he spared the few seconds it took for Chouji to stand to stare at my brother. "Think you can watch Rion?"
What the hell?
I narrowed my eyes as Shino nodded. "Yes. Why? Because I am her brother".
"… good", Shikamaru answered before he and Chouji sedately went after Ino.
"Why do I need to be watched?" I asked Shino as Hinata continued to twiddle with her fingers and Kiba joined our conversation.
Not that I was given an answer. "Let's join them", Kiba said nodding in the direction of the other rookies. "Looks like all the fun is over there".
Hinata blushed as she nodded in agreement. That was all Shino needed. He started moving with his team. Though he paused when I didn't leave my seat. "I don't need to be watched", I declared when I felt his eyes return to me.
In disagreement, Shino adjusted his glasses. "Rion", he said. My name was all he needed. His expectation was clear. Something in Shino's flat tone made me want to listen. And I hated it.
Grumbling to myself, I followed. Shino didn't move until I was on my feet. One way or the other, I was going to find out what Shino and Shikamaru were playing. Why did I need to be watched? Why did they both think that?
Kiba snickered; taking up the rear with me as we approached the other teams. "Look who's being a good little sister; doing what her big brother says". I flashed him a glare as the others became more visible. Seems like Kiba was starting to pick up Aburame speech. Maybe that meant Shino will soon be able to silently boss him around and I'd be able to tease him about it.
"I've missed you so much, Sasuke!" Ino said in what she believed to be a sultry voice; her arms wrapped around Sasuke's shoulders.
Sasuke looked like he was one second away from losing it as he glowered at the girl hanging on him. His expression was the only reason I found Ino's antics more funny than annoying… Sakura's ticked-off countenance also helped.
Shikamaru sighed as he looked like he wanted to be anywhere else. Though Chouji seemed to have the right idea. He continued to eat in his front-row spot to watch all this unfold.
"It's like our whole class is back together again", Kiba observed as he moved to be in the center of things. Pushing me closer to Shino in the process. Not that my brother seemed to mind. "All the rookies taking the exams together. This is going to be fun". Kiba made sure he showed off his fangs as he grinned confidently at our old classmates. "If everyone can keep up".
Those who were competitive visibly reacted to Kiba's words. Though Naruto was the loudest. "Shut up, Kiba! You don't know what you're talking about. We're going to wipe the floor with your team".
Shino adjusted his glasses in a form of disagreement. Though I was the only one who noticed. I inched away to stand in the background with Chouji and Shikamaru as Hinata tried to apologize for her teammate. "Why do I need to be watched?" I asked once close enough.
Chouji paused in his eating and Shikamaru frowned at the reminder. Oh, so they both know the answer. Fun. Before I could weasel an answer out of either of them, all rookie interactions were cut short by the arrival of Kabuto. "Oi, rookies", he made himself known as he approached. Immediately, heads turned in his direction.
My skin crawled. Arguably, Kabuto was not the worst villain we'd have to face. But something about him just… creeped me out more than the other future threats did. Maybe it was his hair. Or his back story. Or his disregard for proper scientific procedures. Whatever the reason was, I chose not to reflect on it. All I wanted was to stay off his radar as much as possible.
"You're making a lot of noise for genin fresh from the academy", Kabuto continued as he stopped in front of the lot of us. "Calm down, would you? Or your end up losing before the exams even start".
Ino wasn't having it. "And just who the hell are you?" She demanded to know.
"Kabuto Yakushi", he introduced; unaffected by Ino's hostility. "Take a look around before saying anything else". As the others did just that, I kept my eyes locked on the danger right in front of us. If I told Ibiki this guy creeped me out, would he do something about it? "Rain village; very touchy. And the grass ninja. I wouldn't want to get on their bad sides". Now aware of their surroundings, my fellow rookies turned somber. Well... the loud and cocky ones did. Shikamaru and Shino were already aware of who was in the room. They didn't need the reminder. "I get it. Your rookies. This is your first time taking the exams. But you won't get very far if you run your mouths. All you'll be doing is painting a target on your backs".
Next to Shikamaru, I feigned being bored; yawning as I leaned into him. Shikamaru shifted his weight but made no complaint. As Kabuto informed everyone of his failed chunin exam attempts, I used our close contact to tap out a pattern on Shikamaru's arm.
-.. - -. .-. - / .-.. .. -.- . / -.. - -. .-. - / - .-. ..- … -
Don't like, don't trust
Shikamaru twitched when he received the message; watching as Kabuto pulled out a deck of cards. Why did Kabuto fail the chunin exams so many times? I mean, was he taking them over and over again at Orochimaru's behest? Was he just waiting for Sasuke to appear? If so, how did they decide this would be the exam where Sasuke would appear and that they needed the sand village to attack? Something was missing from this equation.
"I haven't been wasting my time", Kabuto promised us as he knelt on the floor and started spinning a single card with chakra. "I've recorded every bit of information I've learned from these exams and then some". With a puff of smoke, Kabuto removed his finger, and now a once blank card showed a map; detailing all the different villages and percentages of how many genin were likely to be represented in the exams.
As Sakura gasped; intrigued by the information, I pressed closer to Shikamaru. Kabuto's cards were like my notebook, I realized. Why was he allowed to have them?
Kabuto went on to explain the importance and true purpose of the exams. Assessing the strength of the other villages, building international tolerance, and maintaining a balance yada yada. My notebook was confiscated and Ibiki still had it locked up; only pulling it out when he thought he could use it. Information was dangerous, and here Kabuto was willingly showing off that he had a cornucopia of it. Of course, what he showed us could be a lie orchestrated in his favor. But…
"Do you have cards on specific people?" Sasuke asked as he stepped forward. His signature scowl was in full effect.
"They do", Kabuto affirmed.
Maybe these cards were my solution. As Kabuto explained how his cards worked and Sasuke named names, I thought. We were ninja. It was expected that we'd hunt information to use to our advantage. Having good information allowed us to reach an age where we could retire. But what we did not do, was share it. Between teams; sure, that what an expectation. With your higher-ups, that was the job. But never with outsiders. Trust didn't run that deep. If my notebook got confiscated as an academy student, what would be the consequence for a genin's deck of secret information cards? I'd have to tell Ibiki to find out.
Finishing with Rock Lee's card, Kabuto moved on to the one he had on Gaara. The others were still completely enthralled. "Gaara of the desert". Kabuto said as a puff of smoke cleared and information lay before us. Chouji continued to munch on his chips. He reviewed Gaara's mission experience. I had no way of knowing if that is true. "He's impressive. But I don't have any more information on this guy".
I started tapping again:
.-.. .. .
Lie
Shikamaru grunted to say he picked up on that too. We started to pique Chouji's interest with our actions. Shikamaru would have to fill him in later. At least… I was able to warn somebody.
"He's a rookie from the sand village", Kabuto finished. "Even so. He's not one I'd want to face in a fight. He's almost as mysterious as those guys from the Sound Village. No one knows about them".
.-.. .. .
Lie
I could feel Shikamaru tense through our contact.
For everyone from our year, it started to sink in that we were outmatched when it came to age, experience, and training. Not that those facts kept Naruto down for long. Suddenly yelling across the entire hall, Naruto made himself known to everyone present. "My name is Naruto Uzumaki and I'm gonna beat everyone here. You better believe it!"
Groaning in disdainful horror Shikamaru slumped as much as was physically possible as he felt the weight off every eye in the hall. If there wasn't a target on the rookies' backs before, there was now. Chouji began to eat faster. Hinata stared at Naruto in wonder as Shino adjusted his glasses three times in a row. Crap. That meant he was upset. Kiba moved closer to him in response. Keeping me from abandoning Shikamaru to stand by my brother's side. Seems Kiba really had learned how to understand Aburame-isms.
Naruto seemed to feel better after expressing himself. Though it had the opposite effect on Sakura and Ino. "You idiot", Sakura yelled as she rushed forward and slammed a fist into his noggin. "Sorry, sorry", she quickly apologized to the rest of the hall.
"Is he trying to make us the most hated genin?" Shikamaru complained as Sakura continued to apologize.
"He didn't mean it', Sakura assure the hall full of strangers. "He's… just slow in the head. There's something wrong with him".
"At least he's not on your team", I tried to appease my friend.
By the time I finished talking, Kabuto was standing between us rookies and an attack from the sand team. His glasses shattered; despite dodging. Silence fell over the rookies and the rest of the hall. "I see", Kabuto said as he moved his glasses frames away from his face; all smooth and poised. "A sound-based attack. Interesting".
In the next second, he was on his knees; coughing up vile. "Are you okay?" Naruto yelled as he and Sakura ran to Kabuto's side.
"Put this on your card", A sound nin taunted as he stood over Kabuto's collapsed form. "The sound village will win these exams. None of you grunts stand a chance".
Whatever tension Naruto had been able to defuse with his little proclamation came back with force as the sound village made themselves out to be major players. From where I stood, still pressed against Shikamaru, I could see beads of sweat on Naruto's face as he gritted his teeth. Tilting my head, I tried to find the clock that hung in the room. Wasn't it time for this exam to get started already?
As if reading my mind, there was a disturbance from the front of the hall before any further attack could be made. A large blast of smoke, like one you'd get from using multiple smoke bombs, grabbed everyone's attention. Thank God, I thought as Ibiki's voice roared. "It's time to shut up and pay attention!" The smoke cleared; revealing Ibiki in all his bandana-wearing glory. Behind him stood a row of proctors. All dressed in identical clothing. "I am Ibiki Marino, the head proctor. And for the next hour, your worst enemy".
Chouji gulped down his last mouthful. Meanwhile, I tried not to appear as relieved as I felt at the sight of my jounin supervisor. The danger was minimized with Ibiki and the others watching our every move. Meaning there was time. I could work with time.
My seat number was 36. Awful luck had me placed next to Kankuro. The older boy kept leering at me from behind his face paint. No doubt he remembered me from all the rookie nonsense that occurred only moments before. This was especially bothersome since it meant his puppet was standing where a different proctor should. There's no way Ibiki and his team didn't notice. But I guess they really couldn't accuse him of cheating before even explaining the rules.
Rule one: one point would be deducted for each wrong answer.
Rule two: teams passed or failed based on their combined scores.
Rule three: get caught cheating five times and you and your team are out.
Rule four: no one with a score of zero will be allowed to pass. Including their teams.
Now, everyone was on the edge of their seats even more than before. Funny. Especially since only rule three was true. At the exact moment the second hand on the clock hit 12, Ibiki yelled "Begin", and the sound of a hundred test papers turning over filled the hall. Well… 99. I was a bit slow. Yawning obnoxiously as I turned my paper over a few seconds later than the others; earning me an incredulous look from Kankuro and a hard one from Ibiki.
I had a lot of practice in manipulating test results. In a messed-up sort of way, the academy prepared for this role perfectly. I knew every question and every answer. It wouldn't take me an hour to scribble everything down. But to be believable I couldn't do that.
Each question needed to be read slowly; as if I had never seen them before. Even reread for authenticity. For the problems requiring math and cryptology, some sort of work needed to be scratched out; as if I was figuring it out for the first time. We plants also had to pace ourselves to match the test-takers. Eventually, sooner probably than later, it would occur to them (except for Naruto) that they had to cheat in order to pass. If they were to assume we were the same as them, we couldn't outperform them.
I wasted some time, chewing on my thumbnail as I stared at the cryptology question. The code read like poetry and I kind of wanted to accuse Ibiki of being a closet poet the next time I saw him at headquarters. When Kankuro glanced around me to check on his little brother, I started writing down my answer. Making sure to pause every few lines to feign thinking.
A little over five minutes in, I moved on to the problem about trajectory; ignoring Kankuro's eyes as he stared at me with disbelief. He was probably wondering how I was cheating and who I was cheating from.
As I scribbled down the formula, a beetle may have landed on my paper. I may have done nothing to wave it away; letting its little legs scurry all over my test before it took off back to Shino. Ibiki never said I had to make it difficult for the candidates.
When the first candidate got caught five times, a kunai sailed over unexpecting heads before impaling through a test paper and into a desktop. The sound of pencils hard at work stilled as a boy stood; terrified. To not stand out, I stopped to watch like everyone else. Even taking the extra step of looking as startled as some of the other genin.
"Candidates 23 and 27; fail". The proctors started calling out.
"43, fail".
I returned to the test when the sound of pencils hitting paper picked up once more. Question three was done. So, I moved on to four.
At the next disturbance, I didn't bother looking up. "You can't prove I cheated". A genin from Suna complained as he banged a fist on his desk. "Where's your proof? This is bull-"
"Idiot", Kankuro criticized under his breath as one of the proctors slammed the complainer into a wall. A proctor was on either side of them. But they didn't react at all as their colleague handled the unhappy customer.
In order to give the candidates enough time to copy answer nine, I had to finish the test at least twenty minutes before the tenth question. Ibiki said that wouldn't be too obvious. Even if I was a rookie. The foreign genin didn't know me. And the Konoha genin that did wouldn't find it odd. Not many people enjoyed math and those that did had to be smart. It was an erroneous assumption, but one that worked in my favor.
"59, fail".
The candidates continued to drop like flies.
"33 and 9, fail".
Soon the sounds of retreating footsteps were as loud as the pencils working out the questions.
"35 and 62 fail".
The whole time, Ibiki stood stationary at the front of the room. Watching everyone at once. Would I get a performance review after this? What would Ibiki say? Not bad, Rion. But your handwriting needs work. Yeah… probably something like that.
Right before the twenty-minute mark, Kankuro raised his hand. "Excuse me, I need to use the bathroom". The few still sitting in our vicinity seemed disgusted to be interrupted by such a request. Kankuro's puppet rose and put him in handcuffs before leading him away. I looked at the proctors expectantly. But other than writing a few things down, they did nothing. Seriously? Come on, leaving the exam hall with an animated puppet had to count as more than just one attempt at cheating. Just for the sheer audaciousness of the act alone.
Taking the risk, I glanced up at Ibiki to see if he noticed. He remained stationary; refusing to react to my inquiring stare. Well, fine. Be like that.
By the time twenty minutes hit, I finished the ninth question. Huffing as if exhausted, I let my pencil fall from my hand as I dramatically put my head down on the desk. As if to suggest that it had been the hardest test of my life. Though I took care to not cover my paper. To do so would defeat the purpose of my role.
Ibiki didn't speak up until there were fifteen minutes left. "All right. Everyone better listen. Here is the tenth question!" Tiredly, I sat up straight just to carry on the act. "But before I do, let me tell you about some special rules".
At the sound of a door opening, I twisted in my seat; copying the other test-takers. Most genin were barely breathing when Kankuro returned; a stupid relieved smile on his painted face. "Just in time", Ibiki said. "I hope your bathroom break was enlightening". Kankuro flinched and I bet that was Ibiki's purpose for making such a comment. "Now, take your seat. You're wasting time".
Oh, come on! I inwardly complained; slipping and shooting Ibiki a bewildered look. How has Kankuro not been caught five times? There's a puppet disguised as a proctor! I had my face school by the time Kankuro returned to his seat next to me. He got a good look at my paper as he lowered himself. Even through his facepaint, I could sense the older boy's shock. As if he didn't expect I would manage all nine questions. I tried to not let that bug me.
"The rules for question ten are;" Ibiki began once more; bringing order to the room with just his voice. "Attempting this question is a choice. However, if you don't take it your whole team fails. If you do take it and get it wrong, you'll never be allowed to take the chunin exam ever again".
The response was immediate. People complained; feeling the full effect of this psychological attack. What made it especially potent was that it wasn't an obvious one. No one was expecting harm to come from a test proctor… With the exception of when they were dealing with unruly failed candidates.
Once Ibiki was sure exactly what these rules meant was clear to everyone, he moved on. "It's time for the tenth question, he declared. If you do not want to attempt it. Raise your hand. Your number and your teammates' numbers will be recorded and you'll be free to go".
As soon as the first hand was in the air, others followed more easily. About half stood up and left. If things were different, I'd probably be one of them. Then I could gleefully skip out of this hall and infuriate a lot of people. Yeah… that's what I would have done if forced to take the exams for real.
From the front, Naruto shakily rose his hand. Did running his mouth every time he was scared actually help him feel better? Seemed like it would just make his symptoms worse if you asked me. Quicker than when he raised it, Naruto slammed his hand flat against the desktop. "I'm not going to quit. I'm not going to run away!" He yelled. "You can't scare me! I'll become Hokage even if I am stuck as a genin! Believe it!"
As those remaining in the hall seemed to take heart from Naruto's… lack of appropriate emotion, I snickered to myself and tried not be feel peeved when Kankuro made a similar noise though most assuredly for a different reason. Oh, look foreshadowing. Maybe at this moment, Naruto accidentally cursed himself. It was something to think about at any rate.
Ibiki kept himself blank as Naruto sat down and no one else raised their hands. "This is your last chance", Ibiki warned.
But the candidates were down being intimidated. Slowly, he took a step forward; checking in with each row of proctors as he did so. I checked the clock. Ibiki needed to hurry this up if my plan was going to work. "Very well. For those of you remaining, all there is left for me to do is tell you that you've all passed the first part of the exam!"
Ibiki grinned as the candidates reacted. Some stared at him; unimpressed. Others exploded and demanded answers. As Ibiki explained, the purpose of the first nine questions, I started stretching before propping my chin in the palm of my head. The exam was over. No need to act any longer. Though I made sure to pay attention so I could raise a hand and wave when Ibiki said, "Of course, if the purpose of the test was to cheat, there needed to be people you could cheat from. So, I disguised two chunin and planted one non-participating genin to sit the exam to make sure the answers were available".
I felt many different stares at once. From his seat, Naruto turned and gaped at me with his jaw slack. Acting as if he'd been betrayed. From behind me, I sensed two unimpressed stares boring into my back. Shikamaru and Shino, if I had to guess. I didn't turn around to check. But the best was Kankuro. Who now eyed me in a new light. "Nice puppet", I said to him as Ibiki moved on. Only because it bugged me that his nonsense had been allowed.
Kankuro's fingers twitched. Ibiki continued to impress upon us the importance of information. Going as far as taking off his bandana and revealing his scarred and burned head. Blah blah blah… I stared out the window. Misinformation is dangerous. Comrades can be killed. Blah blah blah... protect what you know. I've heard it all before. Honestly, this felt like just another day with T&I.
The moment I was waiting for arrived a few seconds later. "I hereby declare this part of the chunin exams over!" Ibiki turned his head towards the window. Four kunai sailed through the window; shattering glass in their force. Traveling at different trajectories, the four kunai impaled themselves into the floor and ceiling creating a perfect rectangle. Only then did people notice they were connected to a banner.
Even from where I'm sitting, I could hear Ibiki sigh. "I hope you're ready. You brats", Anko yelled as she made her grand entrance. Standing in front of her homemade banner that said 'Welcome to the Chunin Exams, part two' as she struck a pose. "Because there's no time to relax. I am your next head proctor. Anko Mitarashi. Beware!" There was dead silence. Anko wasn't dissuaded. She pumped her fist into the air. "Follow me. The second part awaits!". Again silence. Except for one genin in the back who coughed at the worst possible.
I nearly had my whole fist shoved in my mouth; trying so hard not to burst. Heh… that was perfect.
Leaning out from behind the banner, Ibiki frowned at Anko. "You're early". He informed. Fist still in the air, Anko blushed. Which I found great pleasure in. "You were supposed to be here on the hour exactly".
"What?" Anko asked as she lowered her fist and turned to our boss. "But Rion said to be here five minutes before".
It didn't take them long to piece things together. As soon as they both were staring at me; Ibiki frowning and Anko scowling, I let it all out. Laughing louder than I have in a long time, I banged on the desktop; making Kankuro flinch away so he wouldn't be caught up in this mess. I laughed so hard I ended up hunched over and clutching at my stomach. The look on Anko's face! Oh, I wished I had a camera.
"Rion", Anko growled; trying to mask her approval with anger.
"Sorry Ibiki-Sensei!" I called out once I recovered enough; not sounding apologetic at all. "You know how bad I am with numbers". I made sure my best impression of Anko's devilish grin graced my face. "I must have gotten something confused when you asked me to tell Anko-sempai the schedule".
Copying my expression, Anko pulled it off better than I was. "Mini-me", she said slowly and ominously. "You're dead!"