Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Barnum Effect
Not all information is useful, true, or notable. And yet people have a hard time distinguishing between what they should discard and what deserves attention. The Barnum effect describes a human tendency to accept certain misinformation as truth. For example; the results of a personality quiz that was designed only for entertainment purposes or horoscopes. More often than not, these falsehoods can apply to anyone. When discussing the Barnum Effect, people are usually referring to beliefs or misinformation people accept about themselves.
Chouji salivated over meat sizzling on a grill. His chopsticks hovered over them; waiting for the exact moment when he could eat them. Chouji's focus was solely on the food. I doubt he was following the conversation.
"I almost didn't win", Ino admitted from her spot next to Asuma. "Sakura is a lot stronger than she used to be. More sure of herself too". Ino seemed reluctant to admit it. "But in the end, she was too distracted". Bowing her head a little, Ino frowned.
"Can you blame her?" Shikamaru piped up from my right; slumped over the table in a way I knew his mom wouldn't like. The five of us sat in a booth at Chouji's favorite BBQ restaurant. Ironically, it was one of the few BBQ restaurants his family didn't own. Ino and Asuma on one side. And me on the other; sandwiched between Chouji and Shikamaru. "She just had her first kill in that forest. That kind of stuff would throw anyone off their game".
My eyes turned towards Shikamaru. This was exactly what I hoped to hear about. But instead of elaborating, the jerk yawned and ignored my stare. At that moment, the first batch of meat finished cooking. Chouji was on it before anyone else could move; piling beef and pork into his bowl with no restraint. Though a couple of slices ended up in the bowls in front of me and Shikamaru. If I had blinked, I wouldn't have seen Chouji do it.
From behind his glass of water, Asuma's lips quirked. "And now my next match is against Naruto", Ino complained; raising her head just enough to look at me. "If this was the same Naruto as the one we graduated the academy with, I wouldn't worry about beating the little idiot. But the Naruto we saw in the second exam… How much has he grown since leaving the academy?"
I listened to Chouji chewing and the background chatter of the other customers as I caught on. "Did you invite me to lunch just to learn about what Naruto can do?"
Asuma lowered his water glass as Ino's spine straightened; guilt painted her face. "You have worked with every rookie genin team", he allowed. "But this lunch is to celebrate Ino and Shikamaru making it to the next round. And Chouji's reward for fighting that puppet guy from the Sand Village". As Asuma talked, I ate. Meat juice and rich flavors washed over my tongue with every bite. It made listening difficult. "They all wanted you to join us".
It was a placating answer. Or at least it was until Shikamaru opened his mouth. "Yeah, because you're too much trouble if we don't keep you fed".
Lips pressed together, I glared at Shikamaru with a low grumble of dislike. He made me sound like a wayward pet. Feeling my eyes on him, Shikamaru used his peripherals and the tilt of his head to stare back; a half smirk on his face. I was reminded of all the times I hid pieces from his shogi set from him. Or when he'd used baiting insults to manipulate me into doing what he wanted. My face softened. Seemed like playing wasn't beyond us yet.
Turning back to my bowl, I found a side of vegetables I hadn't served myself. Glancing to my left, Chouji was busy putting the next batch of meat on the grill. He wasn't looking in my direction at all.
"So", Ino prompted as she leaned forward. "Spill. How strong is Naruto? What do you think he'll throw at me during the finals?"
I kept Ino in suspense as I took a leisurely bite of my meal. "What makes you think I know what Naruto's capable of?"
"Asuma-Sensei said you spent more than a month on a mission with him. And you're neighbors, right? You must know something", Ino kept going as Shikamaru lazily started to eat. As soon as he started moving, Chouji nudged one of the side dishes closer to me in a silent ask to pass it on to our friend. "Come on. Help a girl out. Where's your pride as a kunoichi? You should want to help me beat the boys".
Wow. I thought as I took a sip of water. This was civil for me and Ino. She must really want to do well if she's asking me for help. "Alright", I said; deciding to play along. As a reward, Chouji placed a short rib into my bowl. "Naruto has gotten stronger since the academy. He can make massive amounts of shadow clones and he reacts quickly so it's hard to predict what he'll do next".
"What about weaknesses?" Ino asked. She hadn't even touched her food yet; too busy pestering me for answers. Not that I was telling her much. She probably saw a lot of what Naruto could do in the preliminaries.
Though her questions made me wonder. Could Ino win against Naruto? The mind transfer jutsu wasn't going to do much good against Naruto. He rarely stood still and then there were his clones to deal with. If she caught a clone in her jutsu would it still work? Were shadow clones sentient enough that they could be controlled by that level of jutsu?
"I already told you", I answered. "Naruto reacts quickly. Meaning he's-"
"Impulsive", Shikamaru finished for me. "If she can outthink him, Ino might be able to win".
Ino scowled at Shikamaru. "Geez Shikamaru. What do you mean might win? You're supposed to have more faith in your teammates".
Though Shikamaru remained unmoved. As her teammate, he probably knew the ins and outs of her jutsu better than I did. Knowing Shikamaru, he probably already thought of the most likely scenarios without trying.
"Don't worry", Asuma spoke up in an encouraging voice as he placed a hand on Ino's shoulder. "We'll train a lot before your match. You'll be ready".
Before Ino could relax too much, put a finger to my lips; as if thinking. "There is one thing I just remembered".
"What?" Ino loudly demanded to know. Chouji eyed me wearily; pausing mid-chew.
"Naruto's training with someone special. I'm not sure what he's working on. But with a man like that teaching him…" I trailed off with a shake of my head. Shikamaru sent me an unimpressed look.
"Who is it?" Ino pressed.
"Jiraiya. You know, one of the legendary sannin", I answered; trying not to smile when Ino appeared to wilt.
"Troublesome", Shikamaru sympathized with a click of his tongue.
Meanwhile, Chouji gulped down his mouthful as Asuma started chuckling to hide what he truly felt. "We'll do a lot of training", he repeated; trying to be reassuring. Ino didn't seem to hear him.
I found myself thinking about Jiraiya as much as I did about Kabuto and the impending threat. He became Naruto's favorite topic at dinner; never noticing Anzu's uncomfortable fidgeting. The Pervy-Sage did this. The Pervy-Sage made me do that. He just kept coming up. It also didn't help that every I stepped into the mission hall, the Hokage sent me back to the bathhouse; giving me a sinking feeling that this mission wouldn't be over until Jiraiya left the village.
Using the back of his hand, Jiraiya wiped drool off his chin as he chuckled. "Ohohoho, Little girl. You won't be able to get rid of me today". Jiraiya had his back against the wooden fence that separated him from the women's bath. Most days, I found him in this same pose. As if he was waiting for me. That thought always made me clench my jaw. "So, what's it going to be? More party tricks? Paper bombs? Maybe you'll try-"
Jiraiya cut himself off as he caught a kunai before it could impale him in his left eye. "What's this?" he asked; far too amused for someone who had just been attacked. "One kunai. That's it? Are you even trying? You'll have to do much more if you want to stop the great and amazing-"
A loud bang followed by an overpowering acrid scent and a large gray cloud of smoke engulfed Jiraiya's surrounding area. It was enough to mask the natural smell of minerals wafting from the hot springs. And the smoke paired with the steam made it much more uncomfortable to breathe in. Jiraiya started coughing as if trying to dislodge a lung out of his body. "Ugh! What's that smell?" Some woman from the other side of the fence could be heard.
"Is something burning?" A second voice wondered.
I didn't wait for the smoke to clear. Running found, I held my breath and used my ears to find the target. But my well-aimed roundhouse kick was blocked by a raised forearm. So, I had to bend a knee in order to spring away. Only to try to catch the underside of Jiraiya's chin with my foot. Though all I met was air. Stupid sannin, I thought to myself as I landed on my feet.
The cloud of smoke was already clearing by the time I exited it. Opening my mouth, I took in as much air as my lungs could take. Jiraiya was further back now as he squatted over his knees; still coughing to clear his airways. Somehow, I felt my irritation grow. Shouldn't he know squatting hunched over like that would only make it more difficult to recover?
"We have been here for a while", a different woman from behind the fence. "It would be a good time to go home".
"You tied a smoke bomb to your kunai". Jiraiya kept pausing to let his lungs heave a cough. Exhaling through my nose, I reached for a second kunai. During that time, Jiraiya fully regained himself. "Amusing", he declared; standing taller into a defensive stance without fully straightening his knees. "But you'll have to do better than that if you want to pull one over on me". With a gleam in his eyes, he pointed a baiting finger in my direction.
That was another thing. Why was I putting effort into this? It's not like I could ever overpower this asshole. Nor was I stationed outside the bathhouse every minute of the day. So, it wasn't like I was being sufficient in keeping Jiraiya away. If anything, I was just a distraction to break up his day between the bathhouse and Naruto. A distraction he liked to toy with to be more specific. So, why did I bother? Because… Anzu's face flashed through my consciousness. Because people like him are who I hate the most.
Holding my kunai just like I did back on the bridge with Haku and Sasuke fighting next to me, I lunged forward. Small bursts of chakra helped me move faster. Jiraiya was ready for me. A hand wrapped around my wrist and lifted my arm over my head; making it so my kunai couldn't be used to stab or cut.
Even though it strained the shoulder joint, I curled up my kneed and rocked. With the soles of my feet facing away from the rest of my body, I pushed. I pushed without ever making contact with Jiraiya's abdomen. Chakra left me as Jiraiya was forced a few feet back. He had no choice but to release me.
Not expecting it, I fell. The kunai in my hand was freed from my grip and clattered against the stone pathway as I landed on my side. Some of my chakra came back to me. Some of it didn't. How? Sitting up, I stared at my sandal-covered feet. Before… Before now, I had only been able to push my chakra away from me by using my hands… Wait, no. That might not be true.
"That party trick again?" Jiraiya teased as he stood a distance away; a triumphant smile on his face. "Someone needs to teach you some new jutsu".
I replayed the fight Haku and I had in my mind. And then the massacre on the bridge. Though that was harder to recall. It had been more than my hands back then. More of a whole-body tactic. But…. I was on my feet during those times. Meaning, I couldn't have pushed chakra from them for that weird chakra manipulation thing… What did this mean?
"But I guess not everyone can live up to the power of great and amazing-"
"Hey, Pervy-Sage!" Naruto ran up from behind Jiraiya; giving me time to haul myself to my feet. Just what exactly was this… technique of mine? And why was I able to use it without… willing it? "You said you'd be back after lunch. But it's been hours!"
Jiraiya's shoulders dropped and his face became haggard. "You fool", he complained; running a hand over his face and stretching the skin on his cheeks. "Don't you know you shouldn't interrupt a master when he's imparting great wisdom onto the common man?"
Absentmindedly, I picked up my kunai and twirled it around my finger. I wanted to close my eyes. Sometimes, that was the best way to slow down rushing thoughts. The deluge of unanswered questions. But I couldn't. Not with these two standing in front of me.
"What do you mean?" Naruto complained as he threw Jiraiya's words back at him. "A master. Great Wisdom. The common man. I don't get it!"
I didn't get it. Chakra systems circulate throughout our entire bodies. We were trained to build chakra and send it to whatever body part needed it. It's what made tree walking and transformations possible. But to push it out of my body and then absorb some of it back… Could I do that from any body part?
As Jiraiya pouted, Naruto kept going. His voice was so loud that he drowned out any sound coming from the baths. Or maybe they had all cleared by now. Who knows. "The only thing you're a master in is peeping on girls! And don't give me that crap about wisdom. Rion's the only one here and I know she doesn't care about what a perverted old man has to say!"
Naruto's wording caused me to blink. Adjusting my hand, I caught the handle of my kunai; stilling it after it made one more rotation around my finger. Huh. Naruto knew me better than I thought. Slowly, I shook my head. As if that would clear it. Turning around, I started the trek to be somewhere else in the village. With Naruto on site, I didn't have to worry about Jiraiya lingering for much longer. As has become the pattern these last few days, it wouldn't be long before Naruto would manage to pull Jiraiya back into whatever training for them looked like.
I walked away to the sound of Naruto and Jiraiya arguing in the background. Now, how to figure out this chakra manipulation thing?
It was right before the dinner rush when I stepped into the restaurant Anzu worked at. Most of the tables were empty and Anzu was clearing the few that had yet to be cleaned. Chouji's mom, Chiharu, was talking her ear off as she worked. "The mushrooms need to be sautéed until they're brown", I heard Chiharu say as I approached. "A medium heat is best and you'll need to move them frequently so they don't burn".
As she carefully stacked empty ceramic teacups into her bin, Anzu looked up. "But wouldn't a higher heat help them to cook faster?"
Chouji's mom shook her head in a far more patient manner than I was used to. When Shikamaru and I visited for meals, she tended to bark orders until everyone had a full plate. And then again until everyone was pressured into a second serving. Though only Shikamaru really put up any protest. "There are no shortcuts in cooking. At least none that taste good".
Anzu pulled her hair up for work. It sat on top of her head in an impressive bun. It hid her roots nicely. For those who didn't know better, they'd be forced to think Anzu's natural hair color was black. "What are you making that needs mushrooms?" I asked as I came to a stop beside the table Anzu was cleaning.
Chiharu looked up with a smile as Anzu snapped her head in my direction. "Rion!" She greeted. "Are you done with work for the day?"
"Yeah", I answered; taking in the green accents on the walls. Most Akimichi restaurants have them. I have yet to figure out why. "But I'll have to go back tomorrow".
Anzu frowned. She didn't like this mission of mine. The parameters were a little too close to home. We both felt it. Though for different reasons. I felt ill whenever I thought about it; my sister and Jiraiya. Thoughts were provoked that were hard to ignore. How many past clients did Anzu run into? At work? While shopping? How was she supposed to move on?
But, mindful of Chiharu watching us, Anzu moved on. "I'm working until closing. So, I won't be able to make dinner". Anzu was all smiles as she talked about her job. I got it. It was a much more pleasant thing to think about. "Do you want to eat here tonight? Chiharu added new things to the menu".
I started to shake my head, but Chiharu spoke up before I could verbally refuse. "Curry Udon", she shared. There was a certain glint in her eyes that was focused on me. My fingers twitched and I found myself involuntarily pausing. That did sound good. My tastebuds were responding just at the mere name of the dish. And if it wasn't for her son stuffing me full of barbeque a handful of hours earlier, I probably wouldn't have been able to stand my ground.
"No thanks, I have plans". Chiharu adopted a disappointed expression. While Anzu perked up more. "Can I have two orders of dango to go?" Because what I had planned needed a bribe.
Chiharu clicked her tongue and shook her head as she climbed to her feet. "That is not a healthy dinner", she stated pointedly. Nevertheless, Chiharu headed in the direction of the kitchen. "I'll have your order ready in a few minutes".
Anzu removed the last of the used plates and cups from her current table. "Are you meeting up with friends?" There was so much hope in her voice.
It made lying easier. "Yeah. Haven't seen her in a few days. So, I thought I better check in".
Beaming, Anzu moved on to the next table. "Well, have fun. But don't stay out too late".
Relaxing my shoulders, I scanned the room. The restaurant was mostly empty. And the few customers who remained only had tea cups in front of them. The calm before the storm. "I'll probably be home before you", I said. "You're off at 23:00 right? I could come back. Walk home with you." My suggestion was spoken wistfully; hinting at things Anzu and I didn't like to touch.
As was suspected Anzu declined. She always tried so hard to keep her life from touching mine. "Gai's going to walk me home", she said. It was a better answer than she would've been able to give in the past.