Lori sighed blissfully as she stared out of the cruiser window. "Aren't the stars the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?"
"Not as beautiful as you, babe." Bobby flirted.
Lori giggled. "Oh, Boo-Boo Bear!"
Rick let out a pained groan as he flew his cruiser through space. Wanting to go on an adventure, Rick asked each of the siblings if they had wanted to come with though most of them seemed to be busy. Lincoln had refused to come, arguing that he'd 'only cause problems' and there was no way he was going to ask Lynn to come. This left Lori, who agreed to come on one condition. That Bobby could come along as she wanted to show him what space was like. It was a decision he quickly started to regret as the two had spent the entire flight flirting with each other.
Lori noticed a troubled look appear on Bobby's face. "Is something wrong, Boo-Boo Bear?"
Bobby shook his head. "Sorry. It's just that tomorrow I'll be doing my BAT. I'm just a little nervous about it is all."
Lori gave Bobby a reassuring smile. "I'm sure you'll do fine. After all, you literally aced all your practice tests."
Bobby still looked unsure. "Yeah, but still..."
Suddenly, it seemed like the cruiser bumped into something as it started shaking. "Uh oh, flat tire." Rick explained.
Bobby gave Rick a confused look. "Wait, how can you get a flat tire in space?"
"Obviously from a sharp thing in space, Bobby."
"And why does it feel like getting a flat tire in a regular car?"
"Oh, that's just my custom-programmed, fully immersive flat-tire indication experience. I can turn it off." Rick pressed a button, causing the cruiser to stop shaking. "I thought it was cooler than the celebrity voice package, but here."
Rick pressed another button. Everyone then heard Christopher Walken's voice coming from the cruiser. "Flat tire? You should be...walkin'."
Rick cringed. "Yeah. Anyway, you two stay in here and continue to make goo-goo eyes with each other while I go deal with this." Rick pressed a button on the roof which created a spacesuit around him before he opened the door to go outside. The brief moment that the door was opened caused all the air inside the cruiser to get sucked outside, causing Lori and Bobby's faces to go red before Rick closed the door behind him, allowing the cruiser to fill up with air again.
Lori gasped for a moment before she started getting angry. "What the hell, Rick?!"
"Geez, what's up with your grandpa?" Bobby asked after he had finished gasping.
"I don't know. Lately he's been having a real attitude problem." Lori narrowed her eyes. "Which is weird, considering he said he was going to stop having one." She then pressed a button on the ceiling, creating another spacesuit around her. "Come on, we're going outside."
Bobby looked nervous. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"
"We'll be fine. Besides, I really don't feel like doing as Rick says right now."
...
Rick was trying to remove the tire when he noticed Bobby and an angry Lori. "Lori, goddamn it!" Rick snapped at her.
"Ok, what is your problem lately?" Lori asked.
"My problem is idiots that don't do as they're told. You young people think space is like 'Saturday Night Live'. You see it every day, so you dream of being in it, but it dreams of removing all the air from your body and making you float around it for eternity as a flash-mummified corpse, which is also what space wants, so get back in the car!"
"What's the big deal? There's literally nothing out here."
"Literally everything is out here, and unlike everywhere else, I'm too busy to help you."
As the two were arguing, none of them noticed a snake in a spacesuit slither towards Bobby until it bit into his foot. "AAHH!" Bobby screeched. "GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF!" He then grabbed a hubcap from Rick's toolbox and whacked the snake's head until it let go, killing it in the process.
"Oh my gosh! Bobby, are you okay?" A worried Lori asked as Bobby held onto his foot, whimpering. Lori turned to Rick. "What was that?"
"Obviously, it's a space snake."
"There's snakes in space?"
"There's literally everything in space, Lori!" Rick snapped. "Now both of you, get the fuck back in the car!"
...
Rick flew his cruiser towards a planet that somewhat resembled Earth. The snake that Bobby had killed was lying on his dashboard. A distraught Lori was sat in the back with Bobby, who was looking in bad shape. He looked extremely tired, his eyes had gone yellow and parts of his skin had become purple and veiny due to the snake venom. "Lori...I think I'm dying..." Bobby groaned.
"DON'T SAY THAT! Everything's gonna be fine!" A panicking Lori tried to assure him. She turned to Rick. "Can you please hurry this up?!"
"All right. All right. J-Just let me analyze the snake's planet, so I can whip up an anti-venom." Rick pressed some buttons which caused a radar to come out of the cruiser, aimed towards the planet and a digital monitor to appear inside the cruiser. "Computer, you might want to put a rush on this. Bobby's starting to look like a nineties Japanese ghost."
"Cutting corners." A computerised voice said before images of the planet's inhabitants alongside information on the planet appeared on the monitor.
"Oof, oh my God, these snakes are a mess. Nineteen billion snakes divided into ten thousand nations all on the brink of global war over..." Rick chuckled. "Race? How funny is that? Imagine being a racist snake. 'Hey, other snake, I hate you because you're the wrong colour, snake'." He chuckled again though neither Lori and Bobby found it amusing as Bobby started gasping. "Oh, my God. You're not laughing? Oh, you're dying." A tube of green liquid then came out of the inside of the cruiser. Rick attached it to an injector before injecting Bobby with it, curing him instantly. "It's a miracle they were able to fling one this far out before they slithered into extinction."
"Oh thank God, you're okay!" Lori exclaimed before wrapping her arms around Bobby.
As Bobby started to regain his senses, a wave of guilt suddenly hit him upon noticing the dead snake. "Oh no, what have I done? I killed one of their astronauts!"
"Their first astronaut." Rick corrected. "And it's a female snake too. That's an extra layer of heartbreak. Wait. Wait. Kids, kids, you hear that? Listen." The three heard hissing sounds coming from the computer that almost sounded like music. "Snake jazz. Ha. Idiots. Let's get moving." He then started to fly away.
"Wait, shouldn't we do something?" Bobby asked. "I don't wanna be the reason why nineteen billion snakes lost all hope."
"That's right, Bobby. Only nineteen billion snakes can do that. That species was never getting beyond this stage. To paraphrase the great Jeff Foxworthy, if you bite your first contact on its ankle, you might be a type-zero-civilization-neck."
...
Rick flew his cruiser down to Earth, parking just outside the apartment building. "Oh, boy, what an adventure, huh?" Rick remarked. "Ok Bobby, this is your stop. If you're still upset over the snake thing, don't worry about. Go have an episode with your own family where you learn to stop taking shortcuts or whatever generic shit you guys learn about. That'll probably help you get over it."
Bobby still looked disturbed from what he had experienced. "Right. Umm... do you mind if I... took that snake?"
Rick raised an eyebrow at him. "Uh, what for?"
"I just...wanna give her a proper burial."
Rick shrugged before handing Bobby the snake. "Eh, sure. What do I care?"
...
Bobby stared at the dead snake as it lied across his desk. He still couldn't help but feel guilty about killing that planet's first astronaut. As if he wasn't already stressed out from worrying about tomorrow's BAT, this just made him feel worse. He wondered if there was a way he could fix this. From what he saw, the snakes on that planet seemed to act like regular snakes. He wondered if they'd even be able to tell the difference between this snake and a lookalike. After thinking over it for a bit, he decided that he needed to do something about this. He went over and took the dead snake out of its spacesuit.
Suddenly, Sergio bursted into the room. "Squack! Hey, what's-" he paused upon noticing Bobby with the dead snake before flying back out. "Never mind!"
...
"Is this one friendly?" Bobby asked the pet shop worker as he pointed to a snake that resembled the astronaut snake.
"It's a snake." The pet shop worker replied.
"Do you think anyone would be able to tell the difference between this snake and one that's gone to space?"
The pet shop owner stared at Bobby for a moment. "I'm sorry, what?"
...
The snake hissed at Bobby as he tried to draw some markings on it to make it look identical to the other snake. Once he was finished, he picked the snake up, who then bit his face. "Ow! Come on, Slippy." The snake bit him again. "Ow! I'm sorry!" Bobby then managed to get the snake into the spacesuit.
...
"Thanks for helping me with this, little Loud. I really owe you one." Bobby thanked Lincoln as he held onto Slippy. Lincoln was currently driving the cruiser over to the snake planet.
Lincoln had a dour look on his face as he shrugged in response. "I don't know why you'd want my help. I'm sure Rick could have been more help to you than me."
"No offence but your grandpa kinda scares me." Bobby admitted. As they got closer to the planet, Bobby opened the window, only for Slippy to bite him again. "Ow! Just go!" He threw Slippy out of the window. As she fell towards the planet, the parachute attached to her tail opened up.
...
Meanwhile, a military official from the planet was on break, drinking some coffee when a radar started beeping. He picked up the phone and hissed into it, calling for the astronaut to be intercepted.
...
The snake President had held a press conference alongside Slippy as he hissed at the reporters and journalists. One of the reporters held up a microphone, hissing a question towards Slippy. Slippy responded by letting out a loud, aggressive hiss at the reporters. The reporters then all glanced at each other before bombarding her with more questions as they all started taking pictures. Two snake security guards then came up to take Slippy away whilst the snake President gave her a disturbed look.
...
Slippy was taken to a doctor's office as a snake doctor was checking up on her. As this was happening, a snake general picked up the phone in the office to make a call.
...
A snake professor was in the middle of teaching class at a university, hissing at his students when he noticed a snake government agent arrive at the back office of the class, giving him a serious look.
...
The snake professor was taken to the snake Pentagon via helicopter. He and the snake government agent soon entered a room with the snake President and a snake scientist inside it. It was a room where they were able to look into the room where Slippy was isolated in. The snake professor approached a microphone and hissed into it, talking to Slippy through an intercom. Slippy looked around for a moment before letting out a loud hiss. The hiss's vocal waves were then printed out of a transcriber before being placed onto a recording machine. The snake professor turned on the recording button and hissed into a microphone attached to the machine. He then paused it before replaying it. The vocal waves of his hiss was shown on a monitor underneath the printed one. The snake scientist then adjusted the frequency of the recording until it matched the vocal waves of Slippy's hiss. This was to translate their language into her's as they then played the recording on the intercom. In response, Slippy let out a quieter, guarded hiss. The snake President patted the snake professor on his back for making progress.
...
The next step in communicating with Slippy involved the professor entering the room she was held in as Slippy gave him a curious looked. The snake professor approached her before hissing at her. Slippy then slithered around him for a moment before hissing at him and wrapping herself around him. The professor was shocked at first until she placed her head on his, affectionately. Surprisingly, the professor reciprocated the aggressive display of affection. The snake President and scientist then stared in shock at what happened next.
...
The next day after Lori and Bobby's trip into space, the Casagrandes were in the middle of a game of Loteria when Carlota and Bobby returned home from school. Carlota had a confident look on his face while Bobby looked disappointed in himself. "We're back!" Carlota announced.
"Welcome home, darlings." Rosa greeted. "So, how did your BAT test go?"
"What's a BAT test?" Carl asked before gasping. "Do you get to sleep upside down and eat crickets?!"
"No, Carl! BAT stands for Big Academic Test. It's to get into college." Carlota explained, giving Carl an annoyed look. "Anyway, I'm pretty sure I crushed." She pumped her fist. "Fashion design school, here I come!"
Frida then approached Carlota with a tearful look in her eyes. "Oh, I'm so proud of you, mija. Go pursue your dreams!" She then wrapped her arms around Carlota as she started to sob. "But don't leave me!
Maria then noticed the disappointed look on Bobby's face. She got up and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Is something wrong, Bobby?"
"I failed my BAT test." Bobby admitted as he went to sit down at the table.
"But you haven't gotten your test scores back. How do you know?" Ronnie Anne asked.
"I didn't even get to finish the test. I don't know what happened. When I sat down, my mind went blank. My palms got sweaty and I forgot everything! Like, even where I parked." Bobby explained as he got out the car keys. "I had to walk home!"
"Wait, you left the mercado van there?! I'm gonna get a ticket!" Hector exclaimed before grabbing the keys and running out of the apartment.
"Huh, sounds like a classic case of test-taking anxiety." Carlos theorised. "My students get it all the time. Never fear, Bobby! There are many scientific ways to beat it! I'll help you."
Bobby sighed as he stood up. "Thanks but I think I just need to some alone time for a while. I'm gonna go start my shift at the mercado." He then left the apartment.
Carlos held his chin in thought. "Hmm. On second thought, it seems like something might be distracting him."
Ronnie Anne stood up. "I'll go check on him." Ronnie Anne announced before running out of the apartment.
...
Clyde was in the middle of reading a comic book when he heard a voice coming from his walkie talkie. "Clyde, you there?"
Clyde picked up the walkie talkie. "Hey, Lincoln."
"Clyde, I need to ask you something."
"Sure, buddy, what's up?"
There was a moment of silence before Lincoln spoke again. "Clyde, do you think I'm a bad person?"
Clyde blinked in surprise. "Wait, what?" Lincoln didn't say anything else, leaving Clyde to wonder what this could be about. "Umm, well, I don't think so? I mean, that time when you shot that gromflomite kinda freaked me out but you only did it because he would've shot us first, right? Wait, is this about that time you had that death crystal and almost killed those police officers?" Clyde wasn't sure but it sounded like Lincoln had dropped his walkie talkie. "Lincoln?" Clyde cringed at himself, wondering if he had said the wrong thing. He decided that he should probably give Dr. Lopez a call at some point.
...
Upon hearing a strange noise coming from Luna's room, Lisa entered it to see Luna jamming to some strange music that involved a lot of hissing. "I've never heard this genre of music before."
"You like it? It's snake jazz. Bobby got bit by a snake from space when he went on that adventure with Lori so Grandpa Rick scanned its planet for an anti-venom when he found this. Pretty jamming, eh sis?"
Lisa raised an eyebrow. "A snake from space?"
"Think it was their first astronaut or something."
"Hmm. Killing someone like that may alter the course of that species' evolution. I hope that doesn't result in any negative repercussions."
Luna shrugged. "Eh, what's the worst that could happen?"
...
Bobby was at the register at the mercado as Ronnie Anne was trying to comfort him. "It's no big deal. You still have a few other chances to take that test, right?"
Bobby sighed. "Forget it, I'm hopeless, as soon as I sat down in that testing room I forgot everything, even my name. I wrote Booby."
At that moment, Mrs. Poopybutthole approached the register, pushing a baby stroller with her son in it. "Bobby, could I get twelve pounds of that jicama on sale?"
Bobby smiled as he got out a large bag full of jicama. "Sure thing, at 2.98 a pound, that'll be 35.76." Ronnie Anne gaped at him in surprise.
"Oh, I also have a 10% off coupon." Mrs. Poopybutthole remembered as she handed Bobby the coupon.
"And with your coupon, it is gonna be 32.18." After Mrs. Poopybutthole handed Bobby the money to put in the register, Bobby asked. "So, how's Mr. Poopybutthole been recently?"
Mrs. Poopybutthole's smile became strained at this. "Well, he says he's fine but..." She sighed. "I'm not so sure. He's been isolating himself recently. I'm worried about him."
Bobby gave her a sympathetic look. "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe things will start looking up for him again when he finds another job. I mean, who wouldn't want to hire him?"
"I hope so." Mrs. Poopybutthole said before leaving the mercado.
"Wow, that was amazing." Ronnie Anne exclaimed.
"What was?" Bobby asked.
Ronnie Anne thought for a moment. "Bobby, you said you did well on your practice BAT tests. Where did you take them?"
"Here in the mercado."
"Because the mercado is the one place where you can relax be your smart self. I bet if there's some way we could bring the mercado to school, you'd have no problem with that test."
"That could work but..." Bobby rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't know, I've just had some stuff on my mind lately."
"Like what?"
"Well..." Before Bobby could answer that, a robot snake suddenly teleported inside the mercado. "What the?!"
"Target acquired." The snake said in a robotic voice as it started to approach Bobby, only for a snake wearing a jacket to burst into the mercado and shoot the robot with a shotgun, causing both Bobby and Ronnie Anne to yelp in fear as Ronnie Anne went to hide behind the register with Bobby.
More robotic snakes then appeared, only for turrets to come out of the walls and floor to shoot them down along with any other snakes that suddenly appeared. "What's happening?!" Bobby shouted.
"What is going on here?!" Hector exclaimed as he burst into the mercado along with the rest of the family. All of them gasped. "Dios mio!"
A rather disturbing looking robot that looked like it had both human flesh and reptilian skin attached to it then appeared. "Aliens, I am a robot sent-" Carlota screeched at the sight of it as she stomped on it.
A portal then appeared as Rick stepped out of it. "Alright, what happened?"
"You tell us!" Ronnie Anne exclaimed.
"We're being attacked by snakes!" Bobby cried out.
"What the hell did you do?" Rick shouted at Bobby.
"Ok! I confess! I tried to replace that space snake with another snake. I thought it was the right thing to do!"
"What you did was give them proof that there was something bigger and scarier to unite against, you idiot. They would have gone back into the Dark Ages for a couple of generations, but instead, they dedicated themselves into making universe-destroying, un-thought-out technology like time travel all so they could try to kill a little shitsack on Earth who couldn't let a dead snake be dead even after it bit his ankle."
"I'm sorry!" Bobby cried.
"Can someone explain what all these turrets are doing in MY mercado?" Hector shouted angrily.
Rick groaned. "I had these installed so that you'd be protected in case you were ever threatened. I don't need Lincoln or Lori bitching at me because of any of you dying."
Hector folded his arms. "And who said you could install these?"
"Um...I did." Carlos meekly confessed.
Hector turned to give Carlos a shocked look. "You what?!"
"I-I thought that since Rick asked, it must have been for a good reason." Carlos explained nervously.
"Argue amongst yourselves when I'm not here but for now, just listen to me." Rick ordered. "You'll be safe here in the mercado since the turrets will take care of any snake that comes in here but just in case..." Rick then got out a device which he placed on the floor near the Casagrandes. The device then created a forcefield around the Casagrandes. "This should keep you super safe."
Rick then got out his phone to make a call. "Hey, Lana? It's Rick. I need you to put on that Royal Flush outfit and come to the mercado. We've got a snake situation over here and I need you to put those powers to good use." After a moment, Rick rolled his eyes. "I mean the bodega." After another moment, he started looking annoyed. "It's the shop that the Casagrandes own. Look just get here fast, ok?"
Rick then hung up before turning to Bobby. "Since you caused this mess, you're helping me fix it." Bobby gulped in response.
"Wait, let me help too." Ronnie Anne offered.
"Fine."
...
Rick, along with Ronnie Anne and Bobby, flew his cruiser to the snake planet and parked near the snake pentagon which had turned into a war zone. The three were all wearing full body armour as they got out and fired their laser guns at any snake that tried to attack them. Though it was mostly just Rick and Ronnie Anne as Bobby was cowering in fear. "I am so not prepared for this today!" He confessed.
The three then ran towards the snake pentagon and busted in. Any snake that managed to bite them instantly got vaporised. "What are we doing here?" Ronnie Anne asked.
"We got to get the heart of Snakenet. Now, shut up, and stay close." Rick instructed.
The three then ran into a snake wearing a mech suit. "Resistance is mouselike." The snake said in a robotic voice.
Rick seemed impressed with the snake as he knelt down. "Whoa, hey, look. That one's actually really cool. Come here, little guy." The snake then shot at Rick. "Gah, you little son of a bitch!" The bullets harmlessly bounced off of him though it still annoyed him enough to shoot the snake in the head. "Come on, kids." Rick instructed as they continued into the snake pentagon.
Meanwhile, Slippy was protecting her babies from three robot snakes. "Your brood must be exterminated!" All of them said.
A futuristic, cyborg snake then appeared behind them, grabbing their tails. "You will not kill her or her brood!"
A muscular snake with a knife attached to its tail then appeared in front of the three robot snakes. "Must kill brood and mother."
A snake wearing armour then appeared in front of Slippy. "Get behind me, your brood will seed all life on this planet." He told her.
"That doesn't make sense." All the other snakes said.
As he followed Rick, Bobby then noticed Slippy from a hole in the wall. "Hey, look, it's Slippy."
Rick then grabbed him and dragged him along. "Keep up, shitbag."
Eventually, the three reached the centre of the snake pentagon which was being guarded by some snake soldiers. "I don't suppose you guys will take a bribe?" Rick asked. The snakes fired at him in response. "Ah!" Rick then got out a laser gun and fired it at one of the snakes, causing him to suddenly grow two pairs of legs. The snake stumbled for a moment before falling over. "Anyone else want legs?" The other snake soldiers dropped their guns before slithering off.
The three then entered a lab as Rick shot down the scientists inside. Rick then looked around for a moment. "God damn it. Are you kidding me? I thought there'd be a time machine in here. They're not even a quarter of the way through making it. I'm gonna have to invent it for them. I-I don't know snake math. Do I even still have that time crystal? Ugh, I didn't want to have to do this. Fuck. All right." Rick then started concentrating hard.
"Um, what are you doing?" Bobby asked.
"I'm reminding myself to commit even more to your fuckup." Rick responded.
Suddenly, another Rick, Ronnie Anne and Bobby entered the room. All of them were in their regular clothes and for some reason, both Rick and Bobby had black eyes. They were also carrying snake costumes. "What the?" Ronnie Anne exclaimed.
"Hey assholes." The other Rick greeted.
"Fuck you! Takes one to know one!" Rick snapped back.
"Are you guys us from the future?" Ronnie Anne asked.
"What do you think?" Future Ronnie Anne snapped, looking extremely irritated.
"What happened to you?" Bobby asked his future self, who dropped the snake costumes onto the floor.
"You know, you really shouldn't have left the car." Future Bobby said weakly.
"Huh?"
Future Rick then shoved a book into Rick's hands, along with three time travel devices. "Here."
"Come on. Was it really that hard?" Rick asked.
"What do you think? Come on, kids." The future versions of themselves then left the room.
"Um, why did my future self have a black eye?" Bobby asked, worriedly.
Rick put on one of the snake costumes before throwing a time travel device to Ronnie Anne and Bobby each. "Just shut the fuck up and put these on." Ronnie Anne and Bobby then put on the costumes before the three activated the time travel devices.
...
The three reappeared at Snake M.I.T. in 1985. They entered a classroom before Rick placed the book on a desk. "What exactly are we doing?" Ronnie Anne asked.
"That book has everything they need to create snake time travel, a-and they're getting it in 1985, snake time. Now, they're gonna do it so early that it won't involve us, and they're gonna be even stupider with it." Rick explained.
"And then what'll happen?"
"We're removing ourselves from this sloppy, fucked up story and letting snake time travel eat its own tail." The three then activated their time travel devices again.
After they disappeared, three snake students then entered the room as they noticed the book. Upon reading through it, the three started hissing at each other excitedly.
...
At Ford's Snake Theatre, 1865, Snake Abraham Lincoln was watching a play when a strange snake wearing eighties fashion appeared nearby. He handed Snake Abraham Lincoln a note before disappearing. After reading the note, Snake Abraham Lincoln ducked, just barely missing getting shot by Snake John Wilkes Booth who was immediately apprehended by his guards.
...
Upon returning to the eighties, the time travelling snake was approached by the snake that discovered time travel who then gave a nazi salute. The time travelling snake then looked around the room in shock as it was decorated in nazi imagery. He slapped the other snake with his tail before grabbing a nearby chainsaw.
...
At Snake Berlin, 1938, Snake Adolf Hitler had just finished hissing a speech to his followers before entering the snake Führerbunker and going into the bathroom. He took his clothes off and turned on the shower head before taking a bath. As he washed himself, a snake appeared and aimed his gun at him, only for another snake to appear to shoot that snake, only for yet another snake to appear to shoot that snake. This kept going as the snake Führerbunker was soon crowded with snakes killing each other, including the snake from the eighties. More snakes appeared outside as well, killing Snake Hitler's followers.
...
Rick flew his cruiser back to Earth, just outside the mercado where everything seemed strangely calm. Rick, Ronnie Anne and Bobby entered the mercado to see that the remaining snakes had gone docile and were playing with Lana. "Who's a good snakey?" Lana cooed as she petted one of the robot snakes.
"I am. I am a good snake." The robot snake responded.
"How is she doing that?" Bobby asked.
"It's one of the powers I added to her suit. It basically gives her the ability to brainwash animals." Rick explained.
"What was that?" Lana asked.
"I said it gives you the ability to communicate and work with animals." Rick clarified.
"Oh."
"Is it safe to come out yet?" CJ asked as the family were still inside the forcefield.
"Let's just stay in here a little longer until we know it's absolutely safe." Frida answered.
Carlos then noticed Rick. "Oh! Is the situation taken care of?"
"Almost." Rick replied. "We helped them press on the gas pedal. We just got to wait for them to blow by a cop."
...
At the 4th Dimensional Time Cop Headquarters, Shleemypants was working at his desk when he received a call. "Shleemypants here, what's up? Snakes? Time travel? They did what? How the fuck did... Ok, ok, I'm on it." He put down the phone before getting up and approaching his co-worker, a creature that looked similar to him though his skin was darker. "We got a 10-51 on a goddamn snake planet."
The other 4th Dimensional cop shrugged. "Don't look at me. I'm afraid of snakes."
"I'm afraid of snakes BULLSHIT! You afraid of work! That's what you afraid of!"
"All right, all right." The other cop then pulled down a map.
Shleemypants sighed. "Let's go take care of this." A time bubble then formed around the two as they floated off.
...
A caveman snake was dragging a cavewoman snake towards his cave when Shleemypants and his partner appeared before him. "Oh, look at you. You a smart snake, huh? You using tools now, huh?" Shleemypants taunted while the cavewoman snake slithered off.
"Those tools are gonna turn into you manipulating the fabric of shit!" The other cop snapped. "Get over here, motherfucker." The two then proceeded to beat the caveman snake to death.
"You don't fuck with time!" Shleemypants stated as he delivered the finishing blow.
...
At the mercado, all of the snakes suddenly started eating their own tails before disappearing. "What just happened?" Lana asked.
"If my calculations are correct, they should have been dealt with by the time police." Rick explained. "We won't have to worry about them again."
Bobby looked concerned to hear this. "Wait, does this mean their entire civilisation's history got wiped out?"
Rick shrugged. "Eh. Wasn't much of a civilisation to begin with." He then turned to the rest of the Casagrandes. "It's safe to come out now." The Casagrandes hesitantly stepped out of the forcefield which then powered down.
"So does this mean it's over?" Bobby asked.
"Uh, not quite. I still have to actually invent time travel and make those costumes for us in the past. Which you'll be helping with." Rick stated before dragging Bobby out of the store.
"Aw, come on." Bobby whined.
"Hey, wait!" Ronnie Anne exclaimed as she followed after them.
After they left, the rest of the Casagrandes stared at the store, which had been completely wrecked by the snakes and the turrets. "My poor mercado." Hector sobbed.
Rosa humphed. "You know, I think we should start being a little more wary around that Rick. He gives me bad vibes."
Frida nodded. "Agreed. I don't think it's safe to be around that man. Don't you agree, Carlos?"
Carlos sighed. "I suppose you're right."
"You guys got any corndogs?" Lana asked as she approached the family.
...
Ronnie Anne and Bobby were in Rick's garage, helping him with knitting the snake costumes. "Are these good enough?" Ronnie Anne asked.
Rick shrugged. "Eh. Guess they'll do. Let's go."
...
After going back in time, Rick parked his cruiser outside the snake pentagon. "Well at least it's almost over." Bobby said as the three got out of the cruiser. "You know if there's one thing I've learned from all this, it's that I really should start approaching things with a clear head-OW!" Suddenly, Rick punched Bobby in the eye.
"HEY! What did you do that for?!" Ronnie Anne shouted.
"Because when I tell you to stay in the fucking car, you stay in the-GAH!" Infuriated by Rick's attitude, Ronnie Anne pulled Rick down by his shirt before sending a fist towards his eye.
...
As night fell on Royal Woods, no one was aware of the invisible drones spying on the town. Footage of what had been happening around town was currently being watched by Tammy, who was currently in the Galactic Federation mothership, not too far away from Earth. As she watched the footage on the large monitor, a gromflomite soldier came in to the room before saluting her. "Ma'am."
Tammy turned to face him. "So, how many of them did you get?"
"They weren't exactly easy to find but...we did manage to secure four of them." The gromflomite soldier then got out a container which had four infinity balls inside of it. "If you don't mind me asking, what exactly do these 'infinity balls' do?"
"That, I don't know yet." Tammy admitted.
The gromflomite soldier gave her a look of disbelief. "You don't know?"
"All I know is these are the most powerful things in the universe. Or universes I should say. Speaking of that..."
"Oh, right." The gromflomite soldier then got out a portal gun before handing it to Tammy.
Tammy sighed as she held the portal gun. The Galactic Federation finally got their hands on one, only for it to be when they were at their weakest. She continued speaking. "Anyway, I do have an idea of how we could test these." She pointed towards the monitor, still showing footage of Royal Woods. "I want you to send the infinity balls to four random houses in Royal Woods."
The gromflomite soldier blinked in surprise. "J-Just any house?"
"As long as it isn't where Rick lives." Tammy clarified. "If I like what I see, we'll extract them and use them for ourselves."
"And what if you don't?"
Tammy smirked. "Then we won't have to deal with Rick ever again.
...
Darcy was in her bed, fast asleep when she was jolted awake by the sound of something crashing through her window. "Eep!" She looked around before quickly noticing a glowing orb. "Ooh..." She got out of bed and approached it, giving it a curious look before going to pick it up.
...
Mr. Grouse was sat on his lounger, having fallen asleep in the middle of watching an old gangster film when he was jolted awake by the sound of something crashing through his window. "Huh?! Whuzzat?" He scowled upon noticing the broken window. "Darn punks! Huh?" He then noticed the glowing orb on the floor. He got out of his lounger and went over to pick it up.
...
Maggie was lying down on her bed, listening to some heavy metal music with her eyes closed. Upon hearing something crash through her window, her eyes snapped open as she immediately got up and ran over to the window to see who was trying to mess with her, only to find no one outside. She then turned her attention to the glowing orb on the floor. She raised an eyebrow at it before going over to pick it up.
...
Carol was brushing her hair, humming a tune to herself when she jumped, yelping at the sound of something crashing through her window. "What the heck?!" She looked over to see a strange glowing orb on the floor. "What is that?" She asked herself before going over to pick it up.