Without Sin: All Star Edition

by Catspeaker

Lincoln Loud struggles to make ends meet as a comic book artist. His sisters have all gone on to better things, all except Lisa, just released from Prison. An experiment designed to get her back into the limelight sends him to a dimension where he has children with his sisters. These unthinkable circumstances are his new reality. Inspired by Red Herald's story.

14. Chapter 14

Cat's Corner: Hey everyone! It's a new chapter, but guess what!

I didn't write it!

No the following chapter has been almost fully written by my collaborator Fic! He wanted to step up to the plate and take his swing! I edited it of course, made him change things I thought needed to be changed, but what follows is his own work and I'm very happy with it! It would have been out sooner if not for some other complications in my own life!

You see, I'm getting married next month! May 28th the Cat is tying the knot with his longtime girlfriend and fiancée, DogSpeaker. Because of that, wedding stuff has been keeping me pretty occupied… And well considering the wedding is next month I'll probably be busy still! But no worries, when we get into June I'll be back to my normal schedule… But thank you all for being fans and being patient.

Fic has been a big help in the creation of this story…It was his original idea that *I* should be the one to pick it up and continue it. My friend put a lot of faith in me, believing I was the right man for the job… and he's been there, adding his own ideas, helping me with certain characters (He's like a living Luan Loud so most of her dialog is rewritten by him when I have her) and with the direction of the story.

So now it's his time to shine! I'm happy with the result, and he'll be helping with writing other portions in the future, but I'm still a little clingy and possessive of this story being so invested.. so I'll still probably do most of the work, but I think Fic proved himself in moving to taking a greater role helping when I need it..

Which is just as good, I've taken on another project! I mentioned it before, but I'm helping write a Loud House visual dating novel… "The Lewdest House" with artist D.M.F. the first chapter is finished and completed, free for anyone who wants to take it out. If you're a Lincoln fan, you're in for a treat. DMF and I are already hard at work on chapter 2 which will be more Lucycoln focused…

Anyway I've rambled on enough, enjoy the chapter and let us all know what you think of Fic's writing style and his take on the story so far!

FicAlthusserist: I'll keep this short as the chapter is long enough already. As Cat said above, this is my first major writing contribution to the story after drafting the original planning document, even though I have continued to contribute ideas.

I wanted to take the pressure off Cat who has a lot more real world commitments than me, along with their other writing commitments.

Also I really felt I could make a deeper contribution to this project and thanks to some corrective feedback from Cat in my first draft that pointed me in a better direction and their editing, I sincerely think I have produced something that will be a worthy addition to the ongoing Without Sin saga.

As I jokingly said in a Discord group, "If it's terrible, blame my writing, if it's good, it's only because Cat was able to salvage it though editing."

While that is perhaps a little too harsh and self-deprecating, I still want it to be made absolutely clear that Cat is the prodigy behind this project who's outstanding talent has brought so much entertainment and joy to those who are following it.

I stand on the shoulders of a giant and humbly ask you to read my chapter. I hope I am able to meet your expectations and you have a good time. Feedback, as always, will be appreciated and if goes down well, hopefully I can contribute another chapter or part of one in the future.

Long Live Loudcest!

Looking at himself in the full length mirror in that other Lincoln's bedroom, Lincoln could only cringe at the sight that confronted him. The Church had a policy for it's staff and performers. It wanted them to stand out from the crowd, draw attention with bright colors and faux-hippy style. Apparently Sam's own interpretation of Christianity focused much more on the 'peace, love and forgiveness' angles than the fire and brimstone. Thus, he'd been forced to switch out of his normal attire and exchange it for the 'costume' his double wore when performing for the church.

This meant a bright tye-dye shirt that read 'Jesus is my friend' with a large cross behind the words. It was loud and psychedelic and weirdly wholesome in a dorky way. Beyond that He couldn't even wear his typical jeans. Instead, a pair of large denim bell bottoms splattered with different colors of paint was what awaited him.

While he admitted he was not particularly fashion conscious, growing up around Leni and Lola had rubbed off enough on him so that he could tell when something was really off-putting, and that was certainly what he was wearing with its psychedelic colors and hap-hazard style.

Distracting himself for a moment he imagined Leni bursting into the room with a suitcase wearing oversized sunglasses and a shawl to hide her features. She'd grab his wrist and start pulling him towards the door screaming that they had to go, the fashion police were on their way to arrest him and it was a long way to the Mexican border.

He knew he should have been prepared for this to some degree. He'd known about Luna and her kid's church habits already, and a chance encounter with Lyra weeks before gave him an idea of what he'd be facing.

He recalled almost not recognizing the girl when he passed her in the hall. Lyra had been wearing a garish black dress covered almost completely in brightly colored flowers with a headband sporting a peace symbol. The girl offered her usual polite and curt greeting before disappearing into her room. A few minutes later she emerged in her typical jeans and blouse leaving him to wonder if he had simply imagined it entirely. Cautious probing later revealed this was in fact what Lyra wore to her new age, liberal, hippy church and Lincoln had quickly filled in the blanks.

Contemplating his reflection further Lincoln pondered ways to make his indignity more bearable. Maybe he was Ace Savvy, from the silver age, on a secret mission to infiltrate a commune that was in fact a front for some dastardly villain who wished to take over the world with mind controlling tofu?

His inane thoughts were interrupted by a light knock on the door and the voice of Luna asking if he was decent.

"No, I'm not decent." Lincoln replied plainly, "But sure come in and gawk at me if you want." He heard a suppressed giggle from the other side of the door before Luna came in.

While she was also dressed like a lost flower child who wandered out of Woodstock in the 60s, Luna was able to make it work.

Of course she could pull it off, Lincoln thought with mild irritation, you could stick his sisters in large trash bags, send them down a catwalk and they'd be flying off the shelves the next day.

"You look fine dude," Luna said, looking him up and down.

"Yeah, forgive me if I think you're biased here Lunes." Lincoln sighed.

Luna humored him with a light smile and slowly crossed the room, taking a seat on the bed.

Lincoln started to put on the various bead necklaces that would complete the ensemble.

"I really appreciate you doing this, Lincoln." Luna said, a softness creeping in her voice that got Lincoln's back up.

"I'm just keeping up appearances." Lincoln replied bluntly, only to catch Luna looking slightly hurt in the mirror's reflection.

He only felt a vague sense of guilt seeing that. Much as he didn't want to be outright hostile to these women who wore his sisters faces, he didn't want to lead them on either. It was still a 'them' and 'him' situation, even if Lily had been a welcome break from the rest of them.

Still, Luna had always been the most chill and cool of his sisters. The one least likely to over-react compared to the others, and here she seemed no different. He doubted she'd do anything like Lola, or Leni, let alone Lana!

"Sorry," Lincoln mumbled, "I meant I'm just happy to help out."

Luna smiled softly, "It's okay dude, I know it's been rough after that stunt Lana pulled, I get it."

"Really?" Lincoln said, his voice laced with skepticism.

"Yeah really," Luna shot back. Lincoln turned to face her and raised an eyebrow inviting her to continue.

"Back with the Moon Goats before…well you know…" Luna said blushing.

"I remember us mostly doing warmups for bigger bands. I'd hang backstage with the VIPs and groupies and there was a lot of pressure for sex. Artists who were dating, struggled to resist fans who were practically throwing their soaking wet underwear at them. But some were just creeps who would try it on with their fans while piling them with drugs and alcohol. Let's just say I had to bail a few girls out. What Lana did was not cool dude."

Her piece said Luna turned her gaze to the window, a wistful look on her features.

"Do you miss it?" Lincoln asked curiously, without the self-righteous arrogance he had used when confronting some of the other Loud sisters about their missed opportunities.

"Sometimes." Luna conceded, closing her eyes, "The butterflies in your stomach, you feel like you're gonna barf for sure if you go out. You start walking to the stage and you think, why do my boots feel like I have bricks tied to them, it's so hard. The lights sting your eyes and you feel like you've been stripped butt naked and everyone's staring at you. For a moment you doubt everything you've ever done, all your previous success and adulation, it's gone dude, it doesn't mean shit. You feel like you're a total fraud, that every time you've sung or played before was just blind luck and you don't have a right to be here."

Luna paused for a moment and turned to face Lincoln, a euphoric grin spreading over her face, while her eyes went wild. "But then you hear it," she continued, "The screaming crowd, they're all there for you, they want you, heck in that moment they need you!" Luna let out a deep breath she didn't know she had been holding, "There's nothing like it dude."

"And yet you gave it up?" Lincoln questioned, scrutinizing her face. Luna smiled in a bemused way, the kind you give a young child when they said something they thought was insightful but, was pretty stupid.

"I found something better," Luna replied, winking to which Lincoln rolled his eyes. "You've been struggling with that necklace for the last 5-minutes," Luna stated, "Want some help?" Lincoln gave the former rockstar a penetrating stare for a moment. If it were almost any of the other sisters, he'd say no, he'd not trust them to not steal a free grope off the back of his neck while they secured it. But with Luna, he felt he could trust her.

Nodding Lincoln turned his back to her and Luna rose up off the bed.

She stood close behind him and leaned in, taking the ends of the necklace in her hands.

Lincoln's whole body tensed up. He became aware of the sound of his heart thumping in his chest. To distract himself he contemplated his facial features, marveling at how quickly the injuries from his fight had healed thanks to Lulu's mutant healing powers as he fell asleep with her hugging his face every night. Lincoln felt Luna's breath on his neck. It's okay, he told himself, as sweat formed on his brow, Luna's not like that, she's not going to...and then he felt it.

The soft wet lips pressed against the back of his neck, the incredible wrongness of it, his trust in her shattered and then suddenly his ears were resonating with sound.

"Pbbbt!" Went Luna, blowing a raspberry into Lincoln's neck. Given the absolute absurdity of the situation he could not help but break out into hysterical laughter as he pulled away. Turning round Lincoln tried to verbally castrate her but his harsh words died in his mouth when confronted by an impish grin and uncontrollable giggling and felt himself smiling despite himself.

"Dude I had to do something!" Luna said between her bouts of laughter. "You were so tense I was worried you were gonna pass out!"

Lincoln quickly relaxed.

Whatever mild anger he felt evaporated into thin air. In this moment the depraved sexual history and poor life choices of this Luna could not be further from his mind. She felt like his Luna, the one from his childhood, always the coolest person in the room. Never content to just wallow in her own vibes, but instead always conscious of the people around her and supporting them when they were stressed. Helping them to relax and process, like she was giving them a tiny piece of her.

"Alright I guess you have a point." Lincoln finally responded, struggling to look serious. "Just for the love of Mick Swagger don't do that again!"

"I make no promises dude." Luna said with amusement. "Now turn around and let me finish."

Lincoln did so and Luna successfully secured the troublesome necklace. "Alright," Luna said, "I'm gonna go wait in the living room with the kids, we've got 10-minutes before we have to go so come out when you're ready."

When Luna had gone Lincoln sat down on the bed and began to put on the matching sandals he had found in the cupboard. The back of his neck felt hot and he realized it was the spot Luna had blown her raspberry.

Shaking her head, Luna observed her normally composed daughter on the verge of a full on meltdown as she frantically searched the living room for her bible. "Try thinking about where you saw it last," Luna advised her frantic daughter who was on all fours looking under the sofa.

"My dearest mother," Lyra replied in a strained tone, "If I could remember that it wouldn't be lost."

"Maybe God took it?" Offered a smirking Lupa from the sofa with her drawing pad.

"Now why, pray tell, would our Lord God do such a thing?" Lyra shot back in an exasperated voice as she started going through the drawers under the TV in her desperation to look everywhere.

"I dunno," Lupa answered, "Doesn't he work in mysterious ways or something?" The albino girl chuckled darkly. "Maybe it's a test of faith and you're flunking worse than Lacy in English."

"Mother please instruct your niece not to use the Lord's name in vain." Lyra pleaded as she moved on to going through the bookcase in the corner of the room.

"I don't like it either dude but it's a free country. Still Lupa it's not cool to push your sister's buttons like this."

"Fiiiiine," Said Lupa dramatically, putting her tablet down, "I'll be good, heck I'll even help her look, okay?"

"That's a sweet idea dude," Luna said approvingly. "You too," she said, addressing Lemy who was casually leaning against the door. She was a little surprised that he had not already been offering to help, he seemed kind of withdrawn, locked away in his own thoughts. "You okay little dude?" Luna asked.

"I'm good." Lemy answered, his voice having an almost robotic quality before he stood up and went to help his sister. Luna's motherly instincts began to kick in but decided he was probably just at that age. Her thoughts were interrupted by the site of Lincoln emerging from the bedroom. Lupa stopped her searching and looked over Lincoln.

"Dork," she mocked and went right back to looking.

"What's going on?" Lincoln asked while casting a glance back at the hyperactive children turning the living room upside down.

"Lyra misplaced her bible," Luna answered.

"Ah," Lincoln responded in acknowledgment. "I thought Leni was joining us." Lincoln enquired regarding her absence.

"She'll meet us there. She goes in hour early to help set up the Sunday School." Luna answered.

"Ah, okay," Lincoln said.

Lincoln pulled out his phone and checked the time. "I'm sorry Lyra but we really have to go if we're going to make it on time, can't you just use one of the bibles at the church?"

Out of the corner of his eye Lincoln saw Luna facepalm and became acutely aware that all the children had stopped dead in their tracks. He had a bad feeling he had just put his foot in it.

"Use…another…bible?" Lyra uttered in strained disbelief, her voice cracking like snapping violin strings.

"Here we go again," Lupa said with a sadistic grin on her face. Lemy, Lincoln noticed, was slowly backing away from his sister.

"USE ANOTHER BIBLE?!" Lyra shrieked.

"Lyra, you know Lincoln doesn't know, try and chill okay?" Luna pleaded, but from the defeat he detected in her voice Lincoln figured she was just going through the motions at this point.

"ANOTHER BIBLE?!" Lyra screamed at the top of her lungs. Lemy dived behind the sofa while Lupa was pretending to eat popcorn. "Are you suggesting that I substitute the bible through which God revealed himself to me, in all his infinite grace and wisdom?! The bible given to me as a precious gift by Sister Samantha on the day she took me and Lemy in?! The bible I…" Lyra trailed off, a look of deep pain coming over her features, "The bible I…" her voice dropping back to normal, "The bible that comforted me when we were all separated. The bible I cried into almost every night so Lemy wouldn't hear me."

"I knew," said Lemy, coming out from behind the sofa and taking one of her hands in his. Lyra's eyes were glistening at this point. "But you wanted to hide it from me so I let you." She looked around the room at her siblings and mother.

"I just don't understand how you were all so strong." Lyra uttered as she choked back a sob, "Without God's love, without Jesus, I would have completely fallen apart." Lincoln took in Lyra's words soberly, while as a rule he tried to avoid making snap judgments on people based on whatever limited, superficial psychological insights he might observe, you didn't need to be Freud to draw the obvious conclusion that Lyra's devoted embracing of Christianity stemmed in large part from the trauma she suffered being torn away from the only family she ever knew, as…unconventional, as it might be.

"We all suffered during those bad times sweetie." Luna said solemnly, rubbing her eyes, "We just expressed it in different ways, you have nothing to be ashamed about."

"Yeah," Lupa cut in, her previous demeanor of enjoying the shit show forgotten, "It really sucked! Mom taught me how to lucid dream so I could see you guys every time I went to sleep, that's how I coped."

"And the only way I made it," Lemy said in a soothing tone, "Was by supporting you. You helped me forget how much I was hurting. Thank you for giving me that." The teenage boy slowly leaned in and placed the tenderest of pecs on his sister's cheek before embracing her in a deep hug.

Lincoln was moved by the touching display. He considered how, had this been his first week here, seeing the two children kiss would have set off alarm bells in his head. But now, he saw it for what it was, a brother expressing his deep affection for his sister.

The moment was cut short with Lemy speaking with some amusement in his voice, "Lyra" he began and disengaged from the hug. "You had it on you this whole time." With that, Lemy reached down and took the bible out of the side pocket in her flowery dress.

"Heh, figures," Lupa said, smirking.

"Oh…OH!" Lyra beamed, taking the book from her brother's hand and clutching it tightly to her chest while she started spinning around in a circle.

"Careful dude, you'll get dizzy and fall over," Luna warned her daughter, a smile returning to her face. Lyra stopped and scooped up her younger brother in her arms, showering him with thanks, and kisses. With the more serious dramatic moment over, Lemy reacted like any typical 13-year-old boy getting glomped by his older sister. Attempting to push her off while going red with embarrassment.

"Hey!" called Lincoln, getting everyone's attention. "It's time to head off or we're going to be late." As everyone walked towards the door Lilly appeared, coming down the stairs.

"Are you leaving now?" The young woman asked.

"Yeah, we'll be back at the usual time." Luna said casually as she opened the door.

"Um, wait!" Lilly called out as they were about to step though. The party paused, everyone turning towards her except Lemy who unnoticed by everyone else was looking at the floor.

"I just want to say…in case I miss you when you come back," The youngest of the older generation of Loud siblings began, struggling over her own words. "I had a really good time with you this week. I had so much fun and I hope you had fun too. I hope you enjoyed hanging out with me and want to do it again soon." Unseen by the rest of them, Lemy clenched his eyes tightly, and kept completely silent.

Lyra was the first to respond, "It's always a pleasure to have you visit my place of residence Lilly, your sunny presence is a welcome counter to the more, darkly, presence we have in the house." Lyra finished by glaring at Lupa, who only chuckled and went back to her drawing.

"Yeah…" Lincoln interjected, a warm feeling filling him as he looked back at his little sister from this dimension, "I liked my time with you Lily. I appreciate everything you did to make me feel better about being here-"

"He means you weren't trying to scre-"

"Lupa!" Chided Lyra, "Don't be crude."

"As I was saying!" Lincoln continued, feeling it would be best to ignore Lupa's comment. "I know we have our difference of opinion regarding the family's…situation." Lincoln paused and smiled up at the older teen. "But you made me feel like I could really be myself around you and I appreciate it. I hope we can hang out again at some point."

Addressing her sister Luna joined in, "It's cool how well you vibe with everyone Lilly! I should take a cue from Lincoln here and spend some more time with you, we'll talk when we get back."

"I'd like that," Lilly said, smiling serenely.

After the door closed behind the departing group, the sunshine smile Lilly had worn on her face dropped away, replaced by one of anxious worry as she began to fidget with her fingers.

"It's okay," Lilly said under her breath, "He's just making sure they don't suspect anything. Everything is fine, we're still in love, we're still in love." She fixed a forced, strained smile on her face and a moment later relaxed into it so it looked natural and headed back up the stairs.

If you had asked Lyle a year ago who his coolest sibling was, after clarifying he was not allowed to pick himself, he would have said Lemy in a heartbeat. He was older, wore a headband and denim jacket that tapped into a certain kind of rebellious badassness, and his skills in the robot club made him popular with other boys, while Lyle was acutely aware most of his friends were girls.

Lemy, as his only brother with 8-sisters, was something of a life raft in a sea of estrogen. It was why he had started to become so conscious of his naturally feminine features. Feeling as if he was failing at being a boy. It has reached a point he was on the verge of asking his mom to take him to get his long, flowing hair cut. To also buy a new wardrobe, more like Lemy, the real boy.

Then he had started to notice, really notice, Liby and everything changed.

To put it bluntly, Liby was absolutely content to be herself and unlike Lacy who would be adorably ignorant when she was the butt of a joke, Liby just didn't care that her antics often made her the source of ridicule.

His sister had adopted the persona of a hardboiled detective from those old pulp noir novels and films, at least when she was on the clock as she called it. Liby's side of her bedroom had been converted into her private eye office. With a large mahogany desk their dad had rescued from the junkyard. Behind the desk, on the wall, were clippings from the local and school newspaper of the various cases she had solved. A missing cat, the vandals who has graffitied Flip's store, the lunchroom fraud scandal where she uncovered the head chief had been ordering expired meat from the wholesaler and pocketing the left over money. Cases that would make any junior Detective proud.

With her long cream coat, many sizes too large that went down past her knees, fedora and ever present lollipop she used as a substitute cigarette she cut a striking image. At school she would lurk in the shadows listening in to students' inane chatter in the hopes of stumbling on her next big case.

This in itself would have been enough to get her labeled a creep and weirdo but what really pushed it over the edge to make her a social pariah was her habit of narrating out loud.

When Lyle came to understand this, he realized what a coward he'd been. Liby was being herself and enduring constant taunting for it and what did he put up with? The odd off the cuff remark from one of the more thick-headed ignorant boys he wasn't even friends with.

His self-consciousness was still there, gnawing away at the back of his head, but thanks to Liby's example he was not about to try and pretend he was someone he was not.

It was not surprising that over time Lyle slowly began to drift into his older sister's orbit. His respect grew for her day by day eventually becoming her secretary complete with fake glasses…and a skirt.

Liby was all about the immersion when she played detective, the beautiful, yet plainly dressed, glasses wearing female secretary was just par for the course and Lyle was happy to oblige. It was all in good fun, like Orcs, Horks, Wizards and Pork, slipping into a character and losing yourself in the fantasy. Besides, this was only at home, it's not like she expected him to dress like that in public when they went out to solve a mystery together.

Right now, he was in her room reading the latest messages sent into Liby's detective website. Mostly requests for help around town, typically from other kids who wanted to make use of her unique skills.

The site had been designed by Loan who alongside her talent for gaming was a competent programmer.

Given Liby's age and the potential for abuse from predatory adults, Loan had designed it so any message sent in was only visible to her with her unique log in and only after she approved it would it be passed on to Liby. Any potential clients were given an appointment to come to her office first rather than meeting somewhere and when the occasional adult did send in a request, Loan was quick to respond on Liby's behalf that she would be happy to take the case and meet with them…with an adult chaperone present who would accompany her at all times during the investigation, after she had informed her parents of course.

Those who never got back to her, well, that spoke for itself. The genuine ones tended to be parents or guardians of kids she had helped in the past and had seen her in action from a distance and heard about it from their children.

"The day was cold, the sun hidden by the clouds like a shy dame behind her friends at her first dance." Liby narrated from her place at the window looking out across the street. The girl sighed deeply before taking a fake drag on her lollipop. "Maybe it's just me, I can't feel the warmth anymore, my skin grew too thick, too much scar tissue from the beatings I've taken from this town. Maybe I need a vacation, head back to the farm with ma and par, be that stupid naive kid again so eager to run away to the town before her heart shrank smaller than the mayor's integrity."

Liby tore herself away from the window, slumped down at her desk and poured herself a shot from a whisky bottle she had refilled with apple juice. She dramatically let out a fake cough and slammed the glass back down on the desk. "I thought the streets would be paved with gold and opportunity, but it turned out to be mud and broken dreams," Liby said solemnly, staring down at the desk.

Lyle read his que in the game they were playing and looked up from the laptop. "Don't be like that," he said, pitching his voice a little higher than normal to enhance the effect for the character he was portraying. "Think of all the good you've done helping this town and the people in it. You've given people hope there's at least one person in this town who will do what's right! Not just take a few notes from ole' President Lincoln and look the other way."

"Pissing in the wind." Liby said dryly. Lyle had to suppress a snicker so as not to break character. "Anyway." Libbly continued, waving her hand in the air to dismiss the dark thoughts her character was having, "What do you have for me?"

"Well," Lyle begun, turning his attention back to the laptop, "Mr. Grouse wanted to know who kicked the football over hi-"

"It was Lacy, next." Liby said, interrupting him.

"There is a message of thanks from Claire after you found her stolen bike." Lyle informed her.

"Ah Clare, good kid from a broken home, her old man doing time for shifting drugs for the mob. Let's hope she can keep pedaling till she's on the right side of the tracks." Liby said knowingly.

Lyle thought it best he did not remind Liby that Clare's dad was the local hair stylist his mother, sisters, aunts and himself, preferred.

With that Lyle sat back in his chair at the side of the desk.

"Wait, that's it?" Liby asked, surprised. "Still no new, real, cases? It's been over a week." Lyle could only shrug his shoulders sheepishly. His sister meanwhile went right back to narrating.

"Deep down I knew I should feel happy that cases had dried up like a Nevada well. Maybe it was a sign that a fresh rain of decency was washing away the filth of corruption from the streets, maybe it was time I hung up my hat and accepted that this town didn't need me anymore?"

Liby rose from the desk and started to pace like a restless lion in a zoo before posing in the most over the top and dramatic way possible, one hand on her hip, the other on her chin as she looked up at the ceiling.

"I have a feeling," Liby said after an agonizing long pause. "That our next big case is going to come bursting through that door any second.

Both the Loud siblings turned to look at the bedroom door, Liby with expectation, Lyle with curiosity, it remained closed.

A disheartened look came over her features and Lyle's protective instincts kicked in. "Don't worry about it Liby, I'm sure something will come up soon."

"It's fine Lyle," Liby said, her character mask slipping, "Maybe it's time I took a break, focused on other things, there is tha-"

'BANG!'

The noise of the door to the room flying open startled Liby and Lyle.

"Liby!" Leia wailed as she stomped across the room towards her, "I am in need of your services please!" The grin that filled Libbly's face was so wide Lyle thought her head was about to split open like Lulu's, or the alien in that horror science fiction film he wasn't supposed to have watched but did anyway.

"A blond girl stepped into my office," Liby began in earnest. "From the look on her face she had just jumped off a train, its destination, trouble."

"Come on Liby!" Leia pleaded, "I know you like to play detective but this is serious, the fate of the Turtle Scouts is at stake!"

"Whatever she was running from had made her hysterical, her mouth was running like the jukebox at Carl's dinner." Liby continued, utterly unmoved by her sister's pleas. "Would you like to sit down, Miss? Lyle here will take your coat."

"I'm not wearing a coat," Leia said with irritation.

"Leia, trust me it will be easier if you just play along," Lyle whispered to her.

"Ugh, fine," Leia said in defeat and after pretending to hand Lyle her coat slumped down on the chair opposite Liby. Casually tossing the stick of her now consumed lollipop into a small trash can by the desk Liby took a fresh one out of the drawer and after making a show of pretending to light it, stuck it in her mouth.

"So, sister, you can start by telling me your name," Liby said.

Leia stared back in a deadpan for several moments before she finally sighed and responded, "Leia Loud."

"Loud huh?" Liby said, raising an eyebrow. "Looks like history gave us the same name tag." At that she pointed at the raised plaque on the desk that read, Liby Loud Private Investigator. "Maybe we're distant cousins twice removed."

"Or maybe I'm your sister," Leia said impatiently, "And you've been cooped up in this room too long-OUCH!" Leia cried out at the end after receiving a kick from Lyle under the desk.

"What brings a pretty dame like you to my office?" Liby asked. "You suspect your husband is cheating on you like a Las Vegas card shark, or did you find yourself in over your head, wrapped up in something big and you didn't have anyone to turn to?"

"Firstly, I'm insulted that you even suggested that if I do get married my husband would want to cheat on me, as if I was not the best thing that ever happened to him," Leia said with pride. "Second, I guess a lot has happened and I'm not sure where to start."

"The beginning is always the best," Leia said, "Every journey starts with a first step."

"Well, I guess I'll start by explaining why I left the Bluebelles and started the Turtle Scouts. I think it would help if you got a full picture of what happened."

To anyone looking in causally from the outside, or someone who had been exposed to the Bluebells slander about her, it seemed obvious. Selfish, greedy Leia was no longer content to sell cookies for the Bluebells to raise money for charity but wanted to keep all the money she made for herself. The truth though was very different.

When Leia had first joined the Bluebells at the prompting of her best friend Calliope a year ago, she had been very excited. To be part of a national organization with respect and tradition behind it, to wear a cute uniform and raise money for charity. That last part got her significant praise from her family. But it was the activities of the Bluebells that drew her in. The Bluebells were very much focused towards community service and setting a good example.

The Bluebells' pledge contained many admirable sentiments, respect your elders, when you have to be critical try to raise the person up not push them down, lead by example. Her sister Lizzy especially loved the part about being kind to animals.

However, in practice the Bluebells turned out to be just as petty as any girl clique Leia had run into. It was more about status and stepping on others than living by the Bluebells credo.

Leia had grown especially weary of the stuffy elitism from Bluebell Stephanie and her followers. The girl was pretty, Leia would give her that, but she was dismissive and condescending towards members she deemed to be beneath her.

The worst example had been at a sleepover at Stephine's house. When it had come time to do makeovers Stephanie had turned her head to Calliope and said, "You can sit this one out, no point putting lipstick on a pig." Everyone had gone silent for a moment followed by some awkward forced laugher from the other girls to try and break the tension. The only ones who weren't laughing were Calliope, Leia and Gloom, a very sweet and happy girl who along with Calliope was the only girl in the troop Leia liked. Leia remembered the normally chipper girl's disposition was gone and she looked quite upset.

"What a bitch!" Lyle said, breaking Leia's story. "She sounds about as shallow as our genepool." Leia snickered while Liby completely broke character and fell into a fit of giggles.

"Sorry," Lyle said guilty, "I saw an opening and just had to take it."

"It's okay," Leia said, "It was one of your better ones. May I continue?" Liby and Lyle both nodded.

"What the Hell did you just say?!" Leia had demanded. It was not simply her indignation at her friend being insulated, but her deep and profound disgust at the sentiments being expressed.

Leia was not naive when it came to beauty, she understood it could be wielded like a weapon, but her mother had also imparted to her an important lesson. A lesson Lola had admitted, taken years to fully understand herself. Outer beauty meant nothing if inner beauty did not match it.

There was nothing wrong with Calliope, but Leia had the sneaking suspicion it had something to do with the girl's bi-racial heritage, and meek disposition. An easy target for a bully like Stephanie.

She was about to throttle the stuck up bitch when Calliope stepped in front of her putting on her best fake smile and telling her it was fine. She didn't mind she said and taking Leia's hand pulled her out into the hallway.

"Please don't say anything," Calliope had begged her.

"Calliope," Leia had responded, "That was really mean, she needs to be put in her place."

"You don't understand," Calliope has responded sadly, "I brought you in, I vouched for you, I said you'd make a good Bluebelle. If you hurt her not only would you get thrown out but I'd be in trouble too."

"That's stupid," Leia had said bluntly.

"It's the Bluebelle way," Calliope has said sadly.

"Well, then let's both just leave, Gloom too." Leia had said, "We don't need to be in the Bluebelles to hang out together."

"I…I can't," Calliope said, her voice breaking. "My mom was a Bluebelle and so was Grandma, every generation, going all the way back to my great, great Grandma Clementine who was in the very first troop back in Minnesota…please don't leave Leia." Leia had hugged her then and told her she was not going anywhere, not while she was still there. She would never abandon her best friend.

Leia had stayed and a few months later when the former troop leader Sarah aged out of the organization, Stephine had been voted in as the new leader. Leia suspected it was not all above board. On the day of the election, Stephine had been giving members knowing looks. Leia suspected Stephine had some kind of leverage on them. Leia knew they wouldn't talk about it if she approached them privately. She was also certain they would have fed the conversations back to Stephine.

Apart from Calliope's sake, what really helped Leia to stay in was the focus and passion she brought to cookie selling.

Partly to show Stephine up, partly her genuine belief in the charitable act itself, Leia, formed a trio with Calliope and Gloom, consistently outselling the other members of the troop. A big help early on when she was struggling had been her mother putting her in touch with Flip to learn the selling and customer service trade.

She remembered when Lola had asked him. She had turned her charms up to 11 and he was putty in her hands. When he gave her daughter the job, Lola had leaned over and kissed his greasy bald head. That, Leia thought, was kinda gross, but she appreciated the efforts her mom made for her and admittedly seeing the normally confident and savvy swindler go as red as tomato was amusing.

She had soaked up Flips advice like a sponge and had even grown to like him. He was shrewd sure, but she soon came to understand there were lines he would not cross that kept him, barley, on the right side of the law.

There were other sides to Flip, things she had learned while working closely with him. While everyone around town talked about what a ruthless money pinching business owner he was, no one ever seemed to ask what he did with all his money. Did they just assume he was filling a pool to swim it somewhere like that billionaire goose on GooseStories? He was saving for his retirement, that much was obvious, but he seemed to be going overboard with just how little he was spending on himself. Some of his clothes were so old they had gone thin in places and his car looked like it had taken part in a destruction derby.

She found the answer when cashing up at the end of the day for him. She was bringing the cash tray to his office for count when she spotted a document out on his desk. She didn't mean to pry but the words just caught her eye as she placed the tray down. It was a bank statement for a significant money transfer he had made to Royal Woods Children's Hospital.

"Oh, that's just for tax purposes," Flip said when he saw where she was looking. "Don't you go telling no one about that little missy, I don't want folks getting the wrong idea about ole Flip."

"Don't worry, your secrets safe with me," Leia had said, smiling sweetly at him and thinking back to her mother, she went up on her tip toes and kissed the same spot. Fortunately, he was sitting at the desk so she could reach.

With her trio's continued success, Leia asked the Troop Maiden, Mrs. Davenport, if she could take a more hands on approach with the finances. The praise she got from the troop leader was just the icing on the cake for how much it made Stephanie fume.

If you asked the average Michigander where the Bluebelles got their cookies. Most wouldn't know. Those who were more familiar with the Bluebell lore knew it had something to with the Clarence Cookie Company. The naïve and idealistic though the cookies were a donation. The more cynical would guess they were sold at a discount.

The cookies were sold to the Bluebells at a discount.

A 10% discount.

After cost of operation and mark up it meant the left over for charity was negligible.

Leia was devastated, all her hard work for what? To line the pockets of the Clarence Cookie Company? Bringing out her phone while Mrs. Davenport was away from the computer screen, Leia quickly snapped a bunch of photos of the figures and showed them to Flip the next day.

"Boy, wow," Flip said looking over the photos, "That there is one mighty impressive con."

"Is it as bad as I think it is?" Leia asked glumly.

"Eh, probably worse," Flip answered laughing.

"Worse?" Leia said with alarm.

Bringing the phone down to her level and tracing the figures with his fingers Flip explained.

"Ya see it's not just how little money they're donatin, it's the ones they're giving to," Flip explained.

"But all charities are good aren't they?" Leia asked confused, "They all give money to people who need it or good causes like saving the whales."

"Ehh, not all charities are the same Leia," Flip continued, "Some of them don't take good care of where the money goes and it can end up in the hands of dictators. Others waste it on expensive commercials rather than where it's needed. Then there are those that have massive overheads, the director might be earning a whole lot of dough, more than they need."

"Oh," Leia said, taking in this new info. "So the charities the Bluebells donate to, are they not good ones?"

"I wouldn't say that," Flip said, scratching his large belly. "But they're not the best. If you're gonna be some wishy-washy do-gooder, it's better to give it directly to those who need it than rely on big charities like them."

"Like say, making a donation to Royal Woods Children's Hospital?" Leia teased.

"I told you, that was strictly for tax purposes," Flip rebutted, blushing,

"I know, I know," Leia said, letting him off the hook. "So…what should I do?" Leia asked.

"I reckon this is one of those teachable moments, your mom would want you to figure it out for yourself," Flip said, winking.

"I was afraid you'd say that," Leia responded.

"Haha," Flip laughed, "Now enough yammering, we got Flippies to sell, we gotta sell them while they're fresh.

"Your Flippies are never fresh," Leia said cockly.

"Damn straight!" Flip said and laughed again as he went to open up for the day.

In the end, after a couple of sleepless nights, Leia decided to take inspiration from some of the many stories her mother had told her about her father when they were kids and how he put together these elaborate presentations. Asking to speak to Mrs. Davenport privately, Leia laid out her grievances. She then elaborated a plan whereby the Bluebelles could make their own cookies at a fraction of the cost and donate the money locally to fund the volunteer community charity work carried out by Lyra's church. The community charity work itself, she learned after talking to Lyra, was strictly secular too and carried out under its own legal entity, The Royal Woods Community Support Fund, so there would be no issues about them funding a religious organization. What's more their account records were open to the public so you could be sure the most possible amount of money was going to directly help people, given everyone involved was a volunteer.

It hadn't worked.

Mrs. Davenport commended her initiative, but this was the Bluebell's national policy, and their troop was bound by it, they could not simply do their own thing. What's more, her tone did not match her words. She seemed extremely irritated by what she had said. Leia returned to her troop, her tail tucked between her legs, feeling disillusioned and defeated.

"You know what they say, you can't fight city hall," Liby chimed in. "A crooked system of lies and corruption all the way to the top!" Liby leapt out from behind her desk excitedly and began dashing around the room. "The police, the courts, they're all in on it! We've all just been running in one giant hamster wheel while the Clarence Cookie Company has been taking what's ours!"

"Um, Liby," Lyle said gently, hoping to calm the excited girl down, "Maybe we should let Leia finish first?" Lilly came to a halt and smiled.

"This case was big, maybe too big. A small time shrimp like me, taking on sharks," Lilly began going into full narration mode. "But I was tired, tired of only catching the small fish with a tiny handheld goldfish net while the giant sharks swam about the streets hurting innocent people. I had a death wish, better to be shot by some punk hoodlum who was working for Mr. Big so at least I died knowing I was close to blowing this case wide open than playing it safe, picking up the scraps nobody bothered with." Libbly then dramatically mimed getting shot, clutching her chest and let herself fall to the floor, laying out her arms in the T-pose. Lyle grinned, enjoying the performance while Leia just looked annoyed.

"But then I heard the cautious voice of my secretary Lyle urging me not to rush into things, to get a full picture first before dashing off on a mad crusade for justice." Libbly climbed up off the floor and sat back down. "Please continue Miss Loud."

Leia staired at both for a moment before pinching her nose and continuing.

Seeing Leia's dour mood, Stephanie chose to strike. She called all the Bluebelles together and gave a rambling speech about how they needed to have their best faces on display when they went door to door. It was all pretty basic stuff and Leia found herself quickly tuning out until the very end when Stephine announced Calliope would no longer be selling cookies.

"What do you mean?" Calliope asked, distressed.

"Yeah what's going on?" Leia asked, she knew she should be angry but she was so mentally drained, she didn't have the energy.

"You can't stop Calliope selling cookies!" Gloom said in her defense, "She's so good at it!" Stephanie squared off against the three of them while her loyal cronies flanked her sides.

"First off, I'm the troop leader, that means I can do whatever I want," Stephine said smugly. "And second, Calliope is not delivering cookies because her ugly, fat face is no doubt making potential customers lose their appetite so we would be selling far more if she stayed at the troop headquarters. Unless…" Stephine turned to face Calliope directly, "You don't mind going out with a paper bag over your head?" Stephine then gave a twisted smile that deformed her pretty features into something vile and unpleasant.

Everything happened at once, Calliope ran out of the room sobbing and locked herself in the bathroom, utterly humiliated, gentle Gloom started to cry on the spot while Leia just froze. Something was coming up to the surface from somewhere deep inside, it felt hot and raw.

"What's the matter? Nothing to say Loud?" Stephine mocked, "You sure you don't wanna cry like your friends? Would you like me to apologize to her? I will you know, here, I'm sorry Calliope, I'm sorry you were born with a face that looks like a cow's butt." Stephine and her cronies started to laugh, it rang in Leia's ears as what was coming finally reached the surface and exploded.

"YOU BIIIITCH!" Leia screamed and slapped Stephine with a rage she didn't know she possessed. She hit the girl so hard Stephine actually lifted off the ground for a moment before coming down several feet away.

"Damn sis," Lyle cut in, "I didn't know you had it in you."

"Me neither," admitted Leia blushing awkwardly. Both turned to look at Liby expecting some eccentric take on the proceedings.

"I got nothin," Liby said, out of character. "What happened then?"

Shock resounded from the other girls, some rushing over to Stephine while others backed away from Leia. Mrs. Davenport came from out back to see what was going on after hearing the commotion. "What is going on out here?" She asked, concerned.

"It was Leia!" Shouted Julie, one of the girls, "She hit Stephine!" The other girls joined in pointing the finger while Gloom continued to cry. Mrs. Davenport looked from Stephine who was being helped to sit up on the floor, blood coming out her lip, to Leia.

"Leia!" She said firmly, "You know our rules on violence, striking a fellow Bluebelle is grounds for immediate expulsion, do you have anything to say for yourself?"

"Yes," Leia said smiling, "The bitch had it coming."

"Get your things and leave right now young lady!" Mrs. Davenport said angrily. "You can wait outside until it's time for your parents to pick you up, you are no longer welcome in any Bluebelles venue. I will be speaking with them when they arrive."

"I'm going," Leia said as she went to get her coat, "And I'm taking my friends with me." After putting on her coat Leia went over to the bathroom and tried to talk to Calliope through it but got no answer. "Message me when you're ready to talk, I'll be waiting." Leia said and headed over to Gloom who was drying her eyes and took one of her hands, "Come on, you don't need to be here anymore." Leia said kindly.

"Gloom if you leave with her, you won't be allowed back in," Mrs. Davenport warned as she fetched the first aid kit off the wall and went over to treat Stephine. The girl playing the perfect innocent victim, talking about what a mentally unstable psychopath Leia was.

"I'm sorry…I can't go with you," Gloom said, squeezing Leia's hand tightly.

"Come on Gloom," Leia persisted, "Is this place really worth it?"

"No, I hate it," Gloom answered, "But I can't leave, Stephine she…you remember when she became troop leader? I voted for her." Gloom looked down, unable to meet her friend's eyes.

Leia waited for her to continue. "She found out something, something about my family, a…secret…something big. If she told people about it, bad things would happen, really bad things."

Leia felt overwhelming sympathy for the girl in front of her, one thing she could truly relate to, was having a big family secret that you could never let anyone find out. "If I leave, she might just tell anyway, just to get back at me."

"I understand," Leia said and Gloom looked up, confused until she met her eyes.

"You do, don't you?" Gloom said in wonder, "You have a family secret as well? And it's…big?"

"The biggest," Leia said smiling, "Like, you could see it from SPACE." Both girls shared an awkward giggle. "I'd better go, but message me as soon as you're home, okay?"

"I will," Gloom said, "Thanks for understanding."

Later that evening, after messaging Gloom back and forth for an hour Leia finally got a message from Calliope, it was one word…

'Come.'

It was not too late and with her living fairly close by, Leia wasted no time in biking over, and was let in by Calliope's father Clyde. Leia quickly ran up to Calliope's room and knocked. Invited in she gasped at what she saw.

Every single item of Bluebelle material she had, from her uniform to the various books on etiquette they were expected to study had been ripped into pieces and scattered all over the room.

"Leia!" Calliope screamed excitedly and ran over to her best friend hugging her tightly, knocking the wind out of her. "I saw what you did to Stephine when I came out, yikes Leia, remind me to never piss you off." Calliope laughed and hugged Leia again, "I'm sorry you were right, you were right all along, the Bluebells suck, I'm not going back there either."

"Oh my gosh really?!" Leia said excitedly.

"Really!" Calliope said beaming.

"What about the whole family tradition, the legacy thing?" Leia asked.

"Oh that," Calliope said, looking somewhat embarrassed, "Turns out I was freaking out for nothing, I thought mom would be mad but as soon as I told her what happened and that I didn't want to go, she was totally cool about it."

"Wow," said Leia.

"I know," Calliope continued, "She even said she was sorry I made her feel like she couldn't talk to me about it and promised to take me horseback riding next weekend."

"Your mom's awesome," Leia said, impressed.

"She's okay I guess," Calliope said, "When her and dad aren't being total total nerds."

"Heh, I know the feeling," Leia said with sympathy.

"So…what happens now?" Calliope asked.

"Well," Leia began, grinning confidently, putting her arm around Calliope's shoulder, "I've been doing some thinking, let me tell you about this little idea I have called, the Turtle Scouts."

"Turtle Scouts?" Calliope asked, intrigued.

"It's the name of the independent girl scout troop I want to set up with you and Gloom!"

"I'm in!" Exclaimed Calliope.

"What?! Just like that?!" Leia reacted in surprise.

"Just like that!" Calliope returned.

"I thought I was going to have to convince you a little more. Something's different about you Callopie." Leia responded.

"I feel different," Calliope explained.

"It's like, after everything that happened, I've realized I don't need to be afraid anymore. I was afraid of letting my mom down, of being a disappointment, and that made me afraid of Stephine." Calliope got up off the bed and stood up.

It seemed to Leia she was taller somehow.

"You see that woman on the poster?" Calliope asked, pointing over at the wall. Leia turned her head and saw a poster featuring the barbarian warrior Blonde Sarvina standing on a rock, holding up a battle axe, her frame illuminated by a lightning strike.

"Blonde Sarvina," Leia said in recognition of the iconic comic book character.

"You know her?" Calliope asked, surprised.

"You're not the only one with a nerd for a dad," Leia answered. "Also, my mom likes to cosplay as her at conventions."

"Your mom!? Lola!?" Calliope asked, unable to see it.

"No, my other mom," Leia stated evenly.

"Oh, right!" Calliope said, remembering that Leia and her sister Lizzy had a special relationship with each other's aunt from being genetic twins.

"Anyway, my dad used to read me her comics and I'd follow along with the pictures before I was old enough to read them myself. My whole life I've wanted to be like her. Not, like, slaughtering skeleton zombies in the Swamp of Despair or freeing the galley slaves from the Kartar pirate fleet, I mean how brave she is."

Calliope met Leia's eyes. "Thanks to you, I feel like I finally can be…my…Empress."

"That's silly," Leia said, blushing like crazy from the devotion her best friend was showing her, "I'm not your Empress."

"Yes you are!" Calliope said, leaping onto Leia and pinning her to the bed and tickling her. "You're my Empress and I'm your Warrior Princess!"

"Get off me!" Leia said while laughing.

"Sorry, this Warrior Princess does not take orders from eight year old girls!" Calliope said dramatically and increased her tickling. "Only my Empress commands me!"

"Fine! Fine! I surrender! I'm your Empress!" Leia wailed with tears in her eyes from the laughter, "Your Empress commands you to stop tickling me before I pee myself!"

So the two of them had formed the Turtle Scouts with Flip as their troop leader, creating a new fake persona for the role, Miss Applebottom. At first Leia felt it was a little strange how everyone in the town just chose to play along with the obvious fictional characters Flip was playing but over time she realized, it was because it was so blatantly obvious, no one really felt like they were being lied to and so wrote it off as yet another eccentric quirk. From there it was simple enough to then go on and recruit more members from their friends at school. It was everything the Bluebells was but without the bullshit and of course, no Stephine.

They had also gone into the cookie selling business, just as Leia has suggested. With Miss Applebottom's guidance "she" had outlined to Leia how, as exciting as it might be to make their cookies from scratch to ensure an even larger share of profit, the labor involved just made it not viable. It would have meant spending almost all her free time baking and while getting some friends together once in a while to have fun in the kitchen was appealing, she could see how it would get old real fast.

Instead, Miss Applebottom said they would talk to their old business partner Flip who had a few contacts he had picked up over the years from the manufacturing sector, where he had struck a few off the table deals regarding bulk purchases with him finding highly innovative ways to store all the extra stock.

By these somewhat questionable means they had been able to massively cut down on costs and significantly undercut the Bluebells. And yes, it was true that they did keep some of the money for themselves, but they earned it with all their hard work door to door selling, even in the rain, wearing cute Turtle Scout poncho's her Aunt Leni made for them. When all was said and done, they never lied to their customers at the door. Almost all proceeds would go to charity and even with their modest cut, the amount they were able to donate was far more than the Bluebells.

Everything had been going great.

Until today…

The very reason she had run into her sister's room for her help in the first place.

"This morning," Leia said addressing her siblings, "The Bluebells uploaded a video to their social media account. The quality was awful, but it showed someone wearing what looks like a Turtle Scout uniform breaking into their clubhouse at night and stealing several crates of All American Butter Shortbread cookies. Obviously, it wasn't us, no one in my Scout troop would ever do something like that. They said the video was from 3-days ago, they claim they waited to put it online because they wanted to try and track down their cookies first." Leia paused for a moment to let that sink in.

"So what made them tip their hand?" Liby asked.

"Below the vid is a second one," Leia continued, "It shows the crates of cookies being dragged out of the lake in Tall Timbers Park."

"So, they're setting you up?" Lyle said, stating the obvious.

"Yes, and their parents are already kicking up a massive fuss, demanding that something be done," Leia said bitterly.

"Makes sense," Liby said dryly, "No doubt they have been pouring poison in their parents' ears for a long time now."

"Liby," Leia asked, "Will you take my case? Find a way to prove our innocence and stop that brat Stephine once and for all?" Liby once again rose from her chair and walked over to the window gazing out.

"The cookie trade was a dirty business, prohibition was a fool's delusion. Cartels battled in the streets for territory, there was big money to be made in the white powder…flour," Liby narrated.

"Normally the only thing a cop with clean hands should do is keep them clean, but my hands were not clean anymore, they were already sticky with cookie dough. The fact was that one of the cartels, the Bluebells, were making a mockery of justice, getting the law to do their dirty work and that I will not stand for." Liby turned back to face Leia and stretched out her hand. "I'll take the job Miss Loud, I'll clear your name and maybe someday when the politicians get their heads out of their asses and send prohibition into the trashcan of history, we can grab a cookie together."

"Um, sure," Leia said awkwardly, "But thank you Liby, I really appreciate the help! All the Turtle Scouts do!"

"No problem Mrs Loud, all-" Suddenly the alarm on Liby's phone went off. "Break time!" Said the excited girl, who took off her hat and threw it behind her, it landed perfectly on a hook on the wall. The long jacket soon followed. "Don't worry Leia, I will do my very best to expose those lying, manipulative girls!"

"Why can't you be like this all the time?" Leia asked her older sister.

"Where would be the fun in that?" Liby shot back winking and letting out one of her trademark, nasally giggles. "I'm gonna grab a snack, check out the vid's and then head over to the clubhouse to look for clues. You coming, Lyle?"

"I'd love to Liby, but I have to help out Lacy with her book assignment," Lyle answered, "It's due tomorrow and I doubt she read any of it."

"No problem," Liby said, giving Lyle the thumbs up, "I'll catch you later." With that the passionate girl with a big imagination headed down the stairs to the kitchen.

Sealed away in his soundproof room in the house across the street Zach was in deep thought regarding the conversation he'd just heard take place between the Loud children. It had been a simple matter of hacking into the laptop via a trojan virus he had hidden in a message he had sent to Liby's detective website. Loan's programming skills were impressive for someone her age and largely self taught.

The Loud genes were nothing if not bursting with talent. There was Lisa of course, a mutant genius, but growing up he remembered the other Loud siblings were something of prodigies in their chosen fields. He has assumed Luna was heading for immortal rock star status, Lynn the Olympics, Luan a career in entertainment and so on, but things had not turned out that way for obvious reasons. Were he not absolutely convinced of the sincerity of the Loud siblings' love for one another he might have assumed they resorted to inbreeding to keep their 'talent genes' pure to pass on to their children in spite of the risks that came with it.

Still, despite Loan's promise he had far more experience on his side engaging in ongoing covert cyber warfare against the shadow state. His message has been short and simple, something he recollected from his youth, Mr. Grouse endlessly complaining about balls going over his fence into his yard.

Of course, that Mr Grouse had departed this world years ago. If Zach believed in a personalized heaven, he could easily imagine he would be spending eternity on a small desert island floating through space. Sound would be unable to travel through the vacuum, but he would not need the air anyway on account of being dead. Finally able to enjoy his newspapers and 24-hour a day sports without interruption.

His house was now occupied by one of his nephews who inherited it.

Once he was inside Liby's laptop it was a simple matter of switching on the microphone and listening in. The conversation had been odd, to say the least. Liby was clearly a highly creative girl, what with her fantastical roleplaying, yet there was something about her that just struck a chord with him. The passion she has for uncovering mysteries, for figuring things out, he could see qualities of himself in her, at least a past version of him, before things become more serious, more dangerous and the endless setback and frustrations killed that childhood sense of wonder.

Nostalgia overwhelmed as he recalled hunting for UFO's with Lincoln and their friends, the time he brought a teach yourself to read minds kit online with cards and forehead electrodes, and hunting for Bigfoot in Tall Timbers Park.

He remembered the last time he was with his friends. Lincoln had mostly dropped away by then, so busy raising his daughters and engaging in coitus with his older sisters. He'd missed him, they all had, but he was the only one of them that knew the truth, a secret he had kept for Lincoln, the last act of a long forgotten friendship.

It was partly from loyalty to the memory of that friendship that he was so driven to uncover the mystery of this imposter and find out what happened to the real Lincoln, rescuing him if he was still alive. He assumed he would be, they needed the leverage and the promise of one day returning him to the family. Allowing sporadic contact though secure means to prove he was still alive kept them from resisting and was key to maintaining their hold over the family.

To the Loud's credit it's not like they were not resisting in their own way. From the bug he'd planted in Lola's phone he'd learnt that Lana had actually tried to seduce the operative that was monitoring them, no doubt hoping to recruit him to their side.

It hadn't worked, leading Zach to believe he was either gay or so completely brainwashed there was nothing resembling humanity left in him.

But thinking back to Liby, she really was like him as a child in so many ways.

'That's it', he'd decided.

When the time was right, she would be his point of contact to step up his surveillance of the family. He would have to be careful of course and he could not reveal his intentions directly, lest she go running to THEM out of fear for her father's safety. He would not blame her for that, she was just a child after all, but one way or another she was going to help him.

…

Lincoln felt a little anxious as he followed the satnav on his phone to the church.

He had been relatively fortunate so far with regards to maintaining his cover. At the Burpin Burger he'd been able to remain aloof in the office for a while, studying the employee files to at least pin down people's names. Here though, once he was among the congregation, he knew he was going to struggle.

To Luna's credit, when he raised his concerns with her when she arrived this morning, she offered to stick to him like glue and bail him out as much as she could. Still, there was only so much she could do if someone asked him a point bank question about some shared history he knew nothing about. Were it not for the fact he had been emotionally coerced by the children's adorable, pleading faces, to sing today, he would have faked a throat infection to avoid all but the most basic of pleasantries.

"Do try and relax Lincoln," Lyra said from the back after catching his reflection in the rear view mirror. "You're not Joshua in the lion's den."

"You take communion at your denomination?" Lincoln asked hopefully, "I think a little blood of Christ will help steady my nerves."

"Please don't blaspheme Lincoln," Lyra said, pouting slightly, while Lincoln caught Lemy's suppressed grin in the mirror. Luna meanwhile looked somewhat disappointed in him and was about to say something but chose to hold it in at the last second. "And for the record, no, while we do engage in communion, it was decided many years ago that the use of alcohol was discriminatory and creating an unnecessary barrier, so we substitute fruit punch."

Lincoln saw the church was just around the next bend and turned the steering wheel. They would be attending a shorter morning service there before the congregation would relocate to the park.

Coming around the corner he was impressed seeing quite a few cars parked or pulling up alongside it, along with a few larger vans unloading food at the back. The trunk of Vanzilla was loaded with various canned goods but Lyra had informed him they would be dropping off everything after services.

In addition to the large number of cars parked around the church that caught Lincoln's eye he noticed the building was not the shabby one he remembered from his youth when he would attend on public holidays with its crumbling brickwork and rotten timber. Clearly it had been renovated and was being kept in decent condition, assuming he reminded himself it had been in the same state his church had been.

More and more recently he would have to catch himself from slipping into such assumptions but with the coincidences between the two universes continuing to pile up week by week it was getting harder to think of this place as a parallel dimension. Rather it felt more like he had left Royal Woods sometime in his childhood while someone else filled in for him and now he had returned years later to pick up the pieces.

Finding a space to park, the group got out and headed towards the main entrance. The first thing he noticed were the twin flags hanging above the door. One was the rainbow flag, showing the church's commitment to LGBTQ+ diversity, the other was the peace sign.

The rainbow flag was to be expected, Royal Woods had a long and proud history of inclusivity and tolerance. Also given how in this Universe every one of his sisters were bisexual, they would want to have nothing to do with an evangelical church. Lincoln wondered how many more years it might be before it was seen as such an unquestioned default the flag would be no longer necessary in the same way churches no longer had signs out front proclaiming they were racially integrated. The last time he'd really thought about the issue he realized was all the way back at art college.

10-years ago

College itself was a melting pot for experimentation and self-discovery. Along with the various lecturers he had on the role art played in expressing ideas, including sexual orientation and identity with striking examples of protest art being shown. The talks, while interesting, had been a little abstract to him and were only really brought home to him one evening hanging out in one of the student rec rooms with his college friends.

Among his new friend group was a lesbian Iranian student, Asha, who had fled the country the previous year and claimed political asylum in the US due to her life being at risk if she stayed in the totalitarian theocracy. The conversation, as it inevitably does with most horny teenagers, had turned to sex. When it was her turn to regale them of her first kiss, as a prelude to other more rancher firsts if she'd had them, she grew quiet and sullen. Lincoln had been the first to offer her an out, saying of course she didn't need to share if she felt uncomfortable with their friends joining in to echo it. Asha said it was okay and after downing her latte opened up about her past sexual history in Iran. The details she had shared were quite horrific, the endless fear that haunted her every waking moment with her going into the fate that awaited those who got caught.

Lincoln had felt himself unable to help but picture Luna suffering the fate Asha outlined had befallen her former girlfriend. After getting caught, the state had executed the girl and her girlfriend, both had only been 14-years old. He saw in his mind Luna being subjected to brutal prison beatings and being raped before her eventual execution. Again and again, he tried to push her out of his head but she just kept creeping back in, crying, screaming, begging for help. Growing up with 10-sisters, Lincoln had developed a mild complex in his teens that they had rubbed off on him and made him a little too sensitive. It was one of the things he had in mind to work on while he was at college but at that moment he didn't care.

Lincoln had excused himself from his friends and finding a secluded spot had dialed Luna's phone. He hated bothering her while she was on tour and knew she had more important things to do than speak to her little brother but he couldn't stop himself.

Luna picked up on the second ring, "Hey dude!" She cried out excitedly. At once Lincoln felt a sense of relief even while telling himself how stupid and irrational it was to feel like this. "What's up? College bumming you out and you wanted to chill with your big sis on the phone or did you wanna hear the latest backstage goss?" Lincoln found himself stumped as to what to actually say, calling her had been almost an instinctual act. "Lincoln?" Luna prompted, a trance of concern in her voice at his continued silence. Panic setting in, Lincoln simply blurted out the reason for his call.

"I just needed to hear your voice," he said, regretting it the moment the words had left his mouth. There was an excruciating few seconds of awkward silence.

"AWWWWWWWW DUDE!" Luna squealed down the line, he could hear how her voice was strained by the massive grin on her face. Lincoln was flush with embarrassment, he wasn't a little kid anymore, he was at college, he was in a steady relationship with Ronnie Anne, too old to be needing his older sisters like this.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called," Lincoln mumbled.

"Don't say that dude, it's great to hear from you," Luna said, waving away his concerns. "Hey everyone I'm gonna take five okay?" Lincoln heard her addressing the people she was with.

"Are you rehearsing?" Lincoln asked, feeling a little guilty for the interruption.

"It's fine dude, I'm always rehearsing, I was gonna take a break in half an hour anyway," Luna answered.

"Okay," Lincoln answered a little sheepishly.

"So, you're missing your favorite sister little bro?" Luna said teasingly.

"You know I don't pick favorites," Lincoln said with a slight smile.

"Alright, alright, I'm your favorite sister who plays a musical instrument," Luna shot back. "You agree to that right? Since I'm your ONLY sister who does."

"That's not true," Lincoln said smirking, "You forget, Luan plays a kazoo." There was silence for a moment before Luna came back.

"ON COME ON!" She said loudly, her voice laced with exasperation. "Dude, the kazoo does not count!"

"Then there was that time Lori convinced Leni to join the school band for extra credit but all she could do was stand at the back and hit a triangle at the end of the songs," Lincoln said with glee.

"Dude you're killing me!" Luna responded, starting to laugh, "Throw me a bone here, am I your favorite sister who plays the guitar?"

"I don't know…" Lincoln began cautiously, "You've not seen just how awesome Lilly shreds in Guitar Saviour."

"Ugh dude," Luna said, sounding defeated. "And if we exclude video games?" Luna added in her last desperate bid to win.

"Well, I remember seeing Lisa strum an air guitar once during one of her rap sessions," Lincoln said mockingly.

"You win dude," Luna said, chuckling.

"Oh and what's my prize?" Lincoln asked curiously.

"A backstage pass to my New York stop on the tour," Luna said triumphantly. "You gotta party with me in the city that never sleeps."

"I don't know Luna, I have a lot of work at the moment, I can't just bail on my classes to hang out with you," Lincoln said reluctantly.

"Chillaex dude," Luna said, waving aside his concerns. "It's during Spring Break, you can bring Ronnie Anne too."

"Alright," Lincoln said, "I'll come and I'll run it by her too."

"Awesome dude," Luna said grinning. "Maybe I should sing that 'Best Dang Brother' song I wrote for you when we were kids?"

"Don't you dare!" Lincoln exclaimed, his cheeks turning red. "I'll die from embarrassment."

"It's cool dude I'm only messing," Luna said with a light giggle. "But…you know you are right? The best dang brother a sister could ask for and I've…look touring has been the greatest experience of my life but I've…missed you."

"I…I've missed you too Luna." Lincoln answered sincerely and he could hear his sister sniff on the other side of the line.

"Well, I'll see you in a couple of months, hopefully Ronnie Anne too," Luna said, warmth in her voice.

"Looking forward to it," Lincoln replied.

"Cool, look, I'd better get back to rehearsals, my manager is giving me the stink eye. Just let me know if Ronnie Anne can make it and I'll text you the passes."

"No problem Lunes, laters," Lincoln said, signing off.

"Catch you on the flip side dude," Luna answered and hung up.

It was one of the last times he had really talked to Luna, still feeling that close connection they had as siblings.

Unfortunately Lincoln and Ronnie Ann didn't attend the concert, in fact it was only a week later that she dumped him and Lincoln had wanted to be alone and wallow in his self pity.

They had spoken on the phone since then of course, along with seeing each other at family reunions, but the time between each call kept growing and now there was an undeniable distance between them. It's for the best, Lincoln had reasoned, they weren't kids anymore but adults living their own lives, childhood sibling bonds are naturally meant to fade over time, it was just part of growing up. At least, that's what he had told himself.

Present Day

Lincoln spied this Luna out of the corner of his eye walking at his side. Logically he knew she was not his Luna and had committed disturbed, immoral acts on her younger siblings, even if she was deluded into believing it was love. But in this moment his heart was telling him otherwise. It would be so easy, his heart was telling his brain, to reach out and take her hand, she would welcome it. He ignored it, but it kept pushing, trying to override him. Don't you remember the times she held your hand when you crossed the street, how comforting it was? I remember when MY Luna held my hand, Lincoln definitely told his heart, shutting it up.

As the group reached the entrance the crowd parted enough for Lincoln to finally get his first glimpse of Sister Sam. The 33-year old woman was greeting people at the door as they went in. Some she clasped their hands, the deep connection clearly visible on their faces, others were more formal nods and the occasional peace sign.

Lincoln had been curious to see what she looked like, someone he'd had a frozen image of as a 17-year old girl in his memories for the last 16-years. Like something out of a cliche movie, the sun shone through a small gap in the clouds at that exact moment, lighting up her golden hair and her ever present teal stripe.

He was looking at a ghost and his body reacted the way he would expect. There was a chill though his spine and Lincoln felt the hairs prick up on the back of his neck.

At that moment a light drizzle began, Lincoln feeling the raindrops hitting his face. He remembered the last time he thought about Sam deeply, there had been a drizzle then too.

16-Years ago

Like most 13-year olds in the more economically advanced countries Lincoln had little in the way of direct experience with death. Oh he had felt some kind of watered down sense of loss though the death of characters in the fiction he consumed and occasionally, in spite of her best efforts, one of Lana's pets would shuffle off the mortal coil, but never a person he knew.

Dressed in the traditional black, Lincoln stood by the 4-graves graves with the rest of his family while a light rain washed over them. He thought about Sam and the implication of her being gone. Over the last 6-months she had very much started to feel like a member of the family. Like Clyde there had been no formality about her coming over and had been a frequent visitor until Luna had moved out a few years ago. Heck she had even come over to hang out with people other than Luna, that's how close they had gotten. Lincoln remembered one time Sam had stopped by to help him with his singing, playing a gentle melody on her guitar.

Lincoln tried to focus on the eulogy being given by some relative of the family he'd never met but his ears were ringing with memories of Sam's voice. He could hear her laughing at some joke by Luan, talking to Luna about their shared dreams while she rested her head on her lap, or when her voice would get a little sultry, her cheeks blushing along with Luna's and he would be shooed out of the bedroom so they could make out.

But that was all over now, he would never hear Sam again except in his memories and the few precious recordings her and Luna had made.

Lincoln cast his eyes around his family, they were all hurting in their own way. The twins held hands, the sides of their heads pressed together as they cried quietly. Even they had developed a connection to the older girl. Sam had indulged Lola in letting her do her makeup when she was experimenting with different looks while she had involved Lana and her pets in an amateur music video for the Moon Goats.

Lucy stood quiet and respectful, her head dropping forward. Lisa's normally stoic features were cast down in a deep frown. Leni was sobbing uncontrollably into Lori's shoulder who was trying to put on a brave face and could only maintain her composure thanks to the calming presence of the love of her life, her rock, Bobby, who was gently stroking her back. Lynn seemed distinctly uncomfortable, her feet and hands twitching. Luan seemed somewhat manic, like she was suppressing a laugh, a laugh not out of disrespect but rather as the only coping mechanism she knew to deal with the situation. His parents, well, Rita had taken his father away to the car as he was making a scene, being the overly emotional man he was. That left Luna of course who just stared at the coffin of her deceased lover, unblinking, her face pail.

Lincoln's heart went out to his older sister, he could not imagine the pain she was in right now. He tried to put himself in her shoes and imagine how he would feel if it were Ronnie Anne lying in that coffin. His mind recoiled from the thought like it was being stung by hornets and refused to go there.

The eulogy concluded, a Priest stepped forward to give a few closing remarks before the pallbearers began, in union, to lower the 4-coffins into the ground. It was at this moment Luna broke.

"NO!" She screamed, rushing over to Sam's coffin and throwing her body over it, "You can't be gone! I need you! I'll die without you, please, please, PLEASE!" The tears were freely flowing down her cheeks like rain against a window pane. Luan came over first, placing one arm over her while she used the other to try and gently pry her off the coffin, but Luna was having none of it. She merely tightened her grip on the coffin, pressing her face against the wood as she sobbed.

Members of the Sharpe family looked on with concern but recognized Luna's grief and trusted her family to comfort her. His sisters came forward placing comforting hands or hugging her, eventually leaving only Lincoln and Bobby standing back.

He felt utterly powerless to help and while he wanted to go hug her too, it did not seem like it would be enough. There was nothing he could imagine that was worse than seeing one of his sisters in such unbearable pain. He would do anything to remove her pain and take it all upon himself, but there was no magic spell that could do that or some special combination of words he could say that would make everything better. He was for once, the man without a plan.

"You okay little bro?" Lincoln heard from his side in a low voice and turned to see Bobby crouching down to his eyeline. Lincoln thought back to the words his mother had shared with him once when she saw him comforting Lana after she had badly scraped her knee. After cleaning the wound, he had put a monster truck sticker on it and told her how awesome it looked to stop her crying. Rita had told him how proud she was of him, that it was the job of an older brother to never let his sisters cry.

"I don't want her to cry," Lincoln said, distraught. "I'm her brother, mom said I'm supposed to stop my sisters from crying but I don't know how." Tears began to well up in the boy's eyes.

"Oh little bro," Bobby said in sympathy, placing a hand on his shoulder. At 13 Lincoln was not so little anymore but the affectionate nickname had stuck. "Sometimes people need to cry but that doesn't mean you can't help them feel better here." Bobby said, removing his hand from Lincoln's shoulder and placing a finger gently on his heart. "Go on, go to her, she needs you." Lincoln nodded and walked over to the huddled group of sisters.

As he reached the edge of the pile, an almost psychic-like understanding among his sisters passed between them and without saying anything opened up a slight gap that allowed him to wiggle in.

There were no empty platitudes being spoken, no hollow words of comfort, just a tight embrace of siblings sharing in the pain of one they all loved and who felt it deeper than they ever could. Recognizing the sound of Lincoln's sobbing, a hand gently snaking out from deep inside the pile drew him into the middle and he found himself sandwiched between Luna and Luan. The punk rocker leaned her head down and started to cry directly into Lincoln's white hair while she pawed tenderly at his cheeks.

"I love you Lincoln," Luna whispered into his ear.

"Me too," he heard Luan utter her breath. It was so quiet he almost missed it, even when he was being held by her. It was clearly not intended to have been heard by him over the collective sobbing yet he just managed to and detected in her voice a deep pain and sadness that echoed Luna's own but in the heightened emotion of the moment he was unable to register its significance and the thought slipped from his mind like sand between his fingers.

Present Day

The group came to a halt a few feet away from Sister Sam with Lyra saying she wanted to talk to her before going in. This close Lincoln could make out a faded scar covering one side of her head. Given the area in question it was almost certainly a burn scar with Lincoln figuring the house fire that claimed his Sam must have happened here too but she had been fortunate enough to survive. Either that or she got a phone call while she was ironing and put it to her cheek without thinking, Lincoln thought darkly.

"My Children!" Sam said loud and warmly on seeing Lyra and Lemy, opening her arms wide with both of them dashing over and being embraced. Lincoln felt off for a second before realizing he was actually feeling a little jealous. He could tell from the interaction that they held a particularly strong bond with her and while in some Christian denominations it was standard for a Priest to refer to his parishioners as, 'my son' or 'my child' in what to be honest Lincoln regarded as overly paternal, Sam had not addressed a single other child that way.

Casting his mind back to this morning he recalled something Lyra said in her little meltdown about her and Lemy going to stay with Sam while their Lincoln was away. It was another indication of how he had changed. When he first got here, he wouldn't have cared but now he wanted to know what exactly had happened to his kids while their father was away.

His kids…Lincoln chided himself, they were not his kids and he knew that deep down they didn't love him as a father any more than their mothers loved him as a romantic partner. Yet still, even if he was not even that close with Lyra and had only bonded with Lemy a little, seeing Sam with this obviously deep connection with them stirred something within him. Lincoln resolved he would ask Luna about it when given the opportunity later.

"Well hello stranger," Sam said addressing Lincoln. "I see the holy spirit finally brought you back to the house of God."

"Yeah," Lincoln replied, rubbing the back of his neck after finally letting go of Luna's hand. "I've been, you know, busy with…stuff?"

"It's okay Lincoln, you don't need to explain yourself to me," Sam said with a kind smile. "You have many responsibilities that keep you away and I know in being a good supervisor to your employees and a devoted father to your nieces and nephews you are doing the Lord's work."

"Thanks, I'm just, you know, doing the right thing," Lincoln said awkwardly, painfully aware of just how ungodly the other Lincoln, she assumed he was, had behaved. He was not exactly well versed in the bible but he knew one of the commandments was to, 'honor thy mother and father' and from what little had had pieced together they were not on board with him going full Sweet Home Alabama with their daughters.

"Sister Sam," Lyra spoke up. "Uncle Lincoln agreed to sing today."

"Did he now?" Sam said, grinning. "You have a beautiful singing voice Lincoln, it's always a pleasure to hear it." Lincoln's face flushed red embarrassment.

"Oh, don't mention it," he said.

"Humble as always," Sam responded with a light chuckle. "Services will be starting in 10-minutes, we'd better head in." With that Sam led the way with the rest in tow.

Lincoln did not know what to expect when he headed inside. Scratch that, he had two ideas, either it would be a basically normal church or some kind of Buddhist meditation center with cushions all over the floor instead of pews. What he found was something in between the two.

The first thing that struck him was the light. With their high ceilings and small stained-glass windows, many older churches like this one tended to be quite dark and dingy inside. With this one, efforts had been made to run extra additional lights across the ceilings on cables.

The second thing Lincoln took in was the sound of young children laughing and playing and as he stepped fully inside he could see why. About a quarter of the pews had indeed been removed, the ones closest to the entrance. On the left was some kind of food kitchen with tables and chairs where a number of people, who looked to Lincoln like they were homeless from their scruffy appearance, were getting something to eat. On the right side the space was filled by what looked like a giant playpen. Toddlers and very young children were having all sorts of fun.

Lincoln saw some were playing with a toy Noah's ark and small toy animals they were putting inside. 'The animals went in two by two,' Lincoln thought dryly. There were other biblical themed toys and activities he could see. A pile of foam loaves and fishes a few kids were throwing at each other, a large whale plush two three kids were holding up and chasing around a fourth trying to get the whale to gobble them up and many others.

In the middle of the room, he spotted Leni and a few other adults participating in a more elaborate game with some of the older kids. They had dressed up in costumes over their clothes, Lincoln assumed from the nearby open chest he could see that contained other items for dressing up in it, some as ancient Egyptians and the rest as Jewish slaves. Leni and the other adults were holding up a large blue blanket and waving it up and down, the red sea he supposed. One of the children who on account of their big fake beard and staff he figured was supposed to be Moses, cried out some broken biblical quote and the adults lifted the blanket high into the air with the children dressed as Jewish slaves running under. When the Egyptian dressed children tried to follow however, as would be expected for anyone who knew the bible, the adults brought the blanket down on top of them, resulting in much laughing and giggling from the children.

Leni, Lincoln knew, had a special affinity with young children. In part it was that childlike innocence she still seemed to be carrying even into her mid 30's and her, to put it bluntly, below average intelligence in certain areas. But it was more than that, she was openly loving without any kind of hidden agenda. Children, Lincoln knew, were often far more perceptive than adults gave them credit for, going through a strange collective amnesia when they grew up. Children could pick up on an adult's sincerity, if they really wanted to play with them or were only doing so because they were obligated.

Meanwhile in one of the corners another group of children clapping and singing along to a Christian hymn, some of the words carried over the sounds of the children playing reached him,

Little donkey, little donkey

On a dusty road

Got to keep on plodding onwards

With the precious load.

Been a long time little donkey

Thro' the winter's night.

Don't give up now little donkey

Bethlehem's in sight.

Ring out those bells tonight

Bethlehem, Bethlehem.

Follow the star tonight

Bethlehem, Bethlehem.

A warm feeling swelled throughout his body as Lincoln took in the scene before him. He had grown to enjoy playing with Lulu and Lizzy quite a bit over the last few weeks. Only the other day he had adapted Old McDonald Had a Farm to work with her dinosaur farm, substituting moos and oinks for various roars and growls. "Well, this is certainly different," Lincoln said quietly to Luna at his side.

"You remember what it was like when we were really young and had to go to church," Luna whispered back, "Being forced to sit still and not make a sound and then when we got older having to ignore the younger kids who were constantly crying, it sucked dude." Lincoln did remember, it had been a pretty unpleasant experience. "No one should be forced to sit and take part if they don't want to," Luna continued in a low voice. "Even the children too old for Sunday School don't have to stay, groups of parents take them out and do stuff."

"Like what?" Lincoln asked, curiously.

"Last week they went out to pick up trash in the park," Luna answered.

"Not much of an alternative," Lincoln said coldly.

"They only did it for an hour and then they went to get ice cream to reward them for their good deed," Luna added.

"Fair enough," Lincoln shot back, smiling. "I'll try to keep my cynicism in check."

"Good," Luna said simply, "We'd better take ou-"

"LINKY!" Leni cried out excitedly from the Sunday School, having finally spotted him and cutting Luna off. The blond woman dashed over to the edge of the playpen and then, without slowing down, leapt over the weight high fence and came crashing down onto Lincoln.

"Gah!" Lincoln screamed and he was knocked to the floor and Leni's impressive chest smushed into his face.

"I missed you, like, SOOOOO MUCH!" Leni said excitedly, grabbing Lincoln's head in her almost supernaturally strong arms and pushing him into her breasts even more.

"Aunt Leni!" Lyra exclaimed, "While I applaud your display of the purity of your sibling love for my uncle, I ask you to please restrain yourself."

"Yeah, Aunt Leni," chimed in Lemy. "Dial it back a bit."

"Huh?" Leni said, looking up, confused.

"Dude, he can't breathe," Luna said, a little deadpan. Leni looked down at Lincoln, his arms flailing about with his face bright red, both from the embarrassment along with his lack of oxygen.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Linky!" Leni said, getting off him. Lincoln immediately began coughing and gasping for air.

"Leni, you know we have to take it easy with him after what happened with Lana," Luna reminded her.

"Um...I forgot!" Leni said in response and smiled in an adorable way it was impossible for even Lincoln to be mad at her.

"Come on, we should all take our seats," Lyra said.

After assuring Leni they would hang out for a little bit after services before they had to leave for the park, the four of them made their way down and slid into one of the pews. They sat down, Luna on the far left followed by Lyra, Lincoln and Lemy.

Looking up Lincoln took in the large stained glass window at the front. It was depicting Jesus giving his famous sermon on the mount. Most interpretations of this event showed Jesus sitting on high as though receiving his words directly from heaven to the lowly mortals far below below. In this version however they were close to him, giving the impression of Jesus conversing with his followers as equals. At the bottom in gold lettering were a few quotes from the book of Mathew relating Jesus's words,

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

Lincoln soberly contemplated the words and for the first time felt a trace of shame regarding the incident that had happened at the Burping Burger beyond his earlier regret at losing control and subjecting the children to an ugly scene. Everyone had older versions of themselves buried deep within. Like old save files in a game before you progressed further. Lincoln was aware that these words were receiving an echo not from him, but one of those past incarnations of him, a version of himself that, were they able to speak, would tell him he did not like the person events and his choices had forced him to become.

Sam came to the front. She did not ascend to some raised platform but stayed in the ground. Perhaps, Lincoln pondered, this attempt at a lack of hierarchy in their denomination was what was referred to as Sister Sam and not carrying a title that implied authority, like a Priestess. Sam observed the people present, her gaze sweeping over them, an angelic smile on her face. "Let us pray," she said, her voice easily carried over the din at the back by a tiny microphone.

Conforming to the group, Lincoln closed his eyes and brought his hands together. Sam led them in The Lord's Prayer, "Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name," saying each line which the congregation repeated excluding a few that remained silent in deep spiritual contemplation.

When was the last time he had prayed, really prayed, not the lazy ones you might utter during an online shooter match when you have 10-seconds left to hold the objective and you have practically no health. It was the night Bobby got shot, Lincoln concluded. Lori had called him first, him not Leni, he still never understood that. She was absolutely hysterical, babbling about what happened and saying he was undergoing surgery, that he might die. It still hurt to think about, all these years later, Lincoln mused. They might have lost touch in more recent years but for a time in his youth Bobby had been a really important person in his life, the older brother he never had

Tears welled up in the corner of his eyes as he remembered how he had got in his car to drive over there. He'd pulled over on a country road, without light pollution the stars were so very bright, the center of the milky way galaxy visible in all its magnificent splendor. Getting out of the car he had fallen to his knees and prayed. Lincoln opened his eyes and saw the golden letters in front of him, 'Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.'

Sam meanwhile was continuing with the prayer, "And forgive our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us." Lincoln contemplated the people he had failed over the years, his sisters he had tried to shut out, Ronnie Anne for not being there for her. His mind then turned to those who had wronged him over the years. His bully Chandler back in school, Timely comics for the bastardized writing that had been imposed on him as an artist and ironically, his sisters for abandoning him and Ronnie Anne for just walking away and not giving him the chance to change. His feelings towards them were bound up in a strange contradictory mix of anger and guilt.

"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil," Sam intoned. Lincoln admitted to himself that he had felt temptation when Lana tried to seduce him. It was not fully sexual, he was certain of that, it was the unconditional nature of it. He had made sporadic attempts over the years to move on from Ronnie Anne, get a girlfriend, but he had found it so hard to open himself up, to allow himself to trust and be vulnerable again. Then here Lana was in front of him, baring herself to him completely. Lana's devotion was absolute in that moment, there was a desperation there not just to ride him hard, but to please him, to make him feel loved and it was though her inability to do that was causing her physical pain.

Then Lincoln reflected on the latter part of the verse and images of Hank and Hawk, bloodied and beaten on the floor, filled his vision. It was not evil to stand your ground and fight someone if it was necessary, Lincoln knew this in his heart no matter what pacifist other Lincoln or a younger, more innocent version of himself might say. It was an evil act because he had enjoyed it so much, giving into something horrific and twisted that had been growing inside him for a long time. This parasite, this tumor, he had been feeding a four course meal while he went to town on them, its tentacles seeping further into his brain. It was Lacy who had pulled him back from the edge, her sweet pleading face appealing the best part of his nature.

He didn't want to be consumed by this thing, inside him, to end up a drained shell with nothing left in him but anger, hate and bitterness. Lincoln felt himself tense up, his body shaking slightly. "Are you okay?" Lincoln heard Lemy ask and the boy placed his hand on top of his. Lincoln opened his eyes and nodded at the concerned boy beside him.

Lincoln nodded and repeated the last part of the verse, "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil." A strange recognition shone in the boy's eyes and he felt Lemy grip his hand tightly. "Deliver us from evil," Lemy said to Lincoln in a pleading tone.

Following the opening prayer Sister Sam gave a short sermon on the commandment, Thou Shalt Not Covet, before opening up the floor for contributions. It was pretty much what Lincoln had expected, a lot of progressive liberal and new age ideas filtered through a Christian lens. While some of the contributions struck Lincoln as a little naive and idealistic, there was nothing inherently objectionable about them.

Lyra stood up and made an impassioned talk on how the sin of converting clashed with the Christian responsibility for charity, ending with an appropriate quote from Jesus, "It is more blessed to give than receive."

After an hour of contributions Sam attempted to tie them altogether in a kind of sum up, making each person who contributed feel valued as she would develop their points in a number of ways. When she had finished commenting on everyone's points, Sam decided to make one more of her own.

"Before we move on," Sam said, "At the risk of causing a certain parishioner no small amount of embarrassment, I wish to highlight one individual here in particular, our brother Lincoln Loud."

Oh no, Lincoln thought, his stomach dropping. "I am sorry Lincoln," Sam said addressing him directly, "But you're simply too much of an inspirational example for me not to refer to." Sam turned back to face the room as a whole. "As everyone here knows, Lincoln Loud is a pillar of our community. Not only does he work hard for his family as you all do to the best of your ability, but he has taken on responsibilities that would overwhelm a lesser man." Sam stopped then and placed her hand over her heart. "This man," she continued. "Has stepped in to be a father to the fatherless children of his 8-sisters. He provides such love and devotion to them as though they were his very own."

Lincoln wished he could just sink though the floor at this moment. He felt dozens of sets of eyes on him, looking at him with such respect. The whole thing was just perverse, not only was he not the object of their unwelcome appreciation but the whole thing was a lie. Lincoln looked around, putting on an awkward smile. Those same people he knew would become a mob that would pick up and throw the other Lincoln out onto the curb if they learned the truth.

"How does this tie into the theme today of not coveting you may ask? Well, in choosing to sacrifice the opportunity to start a family, to sire sons and daughters of his own, he did not covet what his sisters had, children who were biologically theirs."

Lincoln did not know whether to laugh or cry at this point. "Thank you, Lincoln," Sam said, getting a little emotional, "Thank you for showing us the best example of being a brother and a man. May God reward you for everything you have done and continue to do."

More like who he continues to do, Lincoln thought acidly, then to his horror Sam actually started clapping and soon everyone was joining in, leaving him feeling more uncomfortable than before.

Finally they moved on to the singing and went through a few traditional hymns, some he remembered from his youth, others not, but he did have the hymn book on his pew to consult for the lyrics and he just hoped no one would pick up on him looking up words to songs the other Lincoln had probably memorized.

It was then time to relocate to the park for the membership push although they made good on their earlier promise and hung out with Leni for a bit while they and other parishioners took their food donations down to the church basement.

When Leni had caught him off guard again and hugged him goodbye, after looking to check there was no one nearby Leni had said to him in a low voice, "I really hope you change your mind about us soon Linki, the guys Lori pick up for us to share, their nice, but, like, their cocks can't make me cum."

"Thanks for sharing Leni," Lincoln said sarcastically after he pulled away from her, feeling sick.

"You're welcome Linki!" Leni said obliviously.

"So…how did you find it?" Lyra asked tentatively as they took their seats in Vanzilla to drive to the park.

"It was nice," Lincoln answered honestly. "Like your Lincoln I'm not exactly religious but I can see your doing a lot of good for the community."

"I'm glad," Lyra said.

"Shame about the end of Sister Sam's sermon," said Lemy, giving voice to what they were all thinking.

"That was a little…yeah," Luna said, unsure what else to say. The former rock and roll star then started to giggle and it proved infectious with them all joining in.

"Alright, that's enough," Lincoln said, trying to take charge of the situation. "Let's get going." Lincoln pulled out onto the main road. "One thing I will say is I'll be glad when we get back this afternoon so I can get changed. If I wear this any longer I'm worried I'll spontaneously start singing Kumbaya my Lord. Luna gave a devilish smile to her children through the rear view mirror who returned the smile.

"Three, two, one, go!" Luna said excitedly and she and the kids started singing the classic, ear worm, hippy song.

"NO!" Lincoln wailed, "You Christians, have mercy!"

"I'm just spreading the word," Lyra said, grinning before returning to singing.

"Yeah Dad," Lemy said, amused, "Don't you know about the word? Everybody's heard about the word!"

"Ugh," Lincoln uttered as he pressed his foot down on the gas a little harder.

…

Lincoln stared down at his phone out on the back porch. Ronnie Anne's number was displayed on the screen. His finger hovered over the call button and then withdrew. This was idiotic, he told himself, he had already decided he was going to call her so it's not like he was stalking out of some kind of ethical dilemma about if it was a good idea, it was nothing more than performance anxiety.

He wanted to make a good impression, achieve that sweet spot between overly enthusiastic and dismissive. A text would be easier he knew, but it seemed half-hearted. If Luan were here she would probably tell him not to, 'phone it in.' Liquid courage, that's what he needed, Lincoln decided, just a beer, or maybe two or three and he'd make the call.

It was late in the evening at the Loud house, the younger children had already been put to bed while the older ones would be joining them shortly. As Lincoln came into the kitchen he saw Luna and Lyra were clearing away the dishes from dinner. "Need any help?" He asked casually.

"Don't sweat it dude, we got this," Luna answered.

"Your offer was very much appreciated, thank you Lincoln," Lyra added.

"No worries," Lincoln mumbled and grabbed a handful of beers from the fridge and headed back outside.

"Mother?" Lyra asked a few minutes later, "While your diligence at your task is commendable, you have been washing that same plate since Lincoln left."

"Oh, sorry," Luna said, somewhat embarrassed.

"There is no need to apologize, it is clear to me your mind is on another task you wish to perform," Lyra said with an even smile. Luna put down the plate in her hands and sighed.

"I'm sorry dude," Luna said again, "Look I know you said I don't need to apologize," she continued, holding up her hand in an attempt to forestall Lyra's objections. "I know I can't be with you all the time, it's just not practical, so when I am here, I should be focusing on you, Lemy and the other children, not obsessing over this other Lincoln."

"Well," Lyra began. "When our father was here, I can't say you did not 'obsess' over him quite a bit." Lyra's cheeks taking on a slight blush. "In your desire for…union, with him."

"That's…wow…yeah," Luna said awkwardly.

"If it makes you feel better, you are not as…distracted…by my father as some of the others are," Lyra said with a coy smile.

"But," Luna said, her face beet red, "That's different, I mean, he's 'our' Lincoln, this Lincoln, he doesn't even want to be here."

"That may be so," Lyra countered. "But he is trying to be, if not a husband to you and my aunts, a father to me and the other children and 'thou shalt honor thy mother and father.'"

"Dude," Luna said smiling, "When did you get so grown up?"

"I had many great teachers," Lyra answered, "You, father, my aunts, Sam…and Jesus." Lyra caressed the crucifix around her neck as she said the last part. "I know you're worried about his drinking. I see it in your eyes every time you look at him when he indulges. You should go talk to him, there is not much left, I can finish up here."

"Alright, I will," Luna said, taking off her rubber gloves and giving her daughter a quick hug and kiss on her forehead.

While Lyra was downstairs a meeting was taking place in the room she shared with Liby. Leia and Lyle were sitting on the bottom bunk while Liby was perched on the edge of her desk. It had been 4-days since Leia had dramatically burst into the room asking for Liby's help.

"I stared at Miss Loud's face, it was long and drawn out like taffy," Liby said, keeping her voice low given Leia and Lyle should have been in bed by now. "She'd come to me for answers, fed up with seeking truth in the fortune cookies down in Chinatown."

"Liby, it's late and I'm tired, do you have anything yet?" Leia asked with mild irritation.

"I combed the crime scene like it was a prize winning poodle before a show," Liby said dejectedly. "If there was a clue to be found, it was elusive as self-control at a college frat party. There's probably something incriminating inside the clubhouse, but I was about as welcome as rats in a kitchen and I couldn't get a warrant." Ignoring the nonsense about her kid detective sister getting a warrant Leia said what she thought would be pretty obvious.

"If you think there is evidence inside, let's just break in and find it," Leia said with conviction.

"Hold your horses missy," Liby said with concern. "Firstly, this detective is staying on the straight and narrow. Second, even if I was willing to bend the rules just this once, you forget, they have cameras in their clubhouse. If one of them were watching, they'd call the boys in the blue and they'd be on us faster than a lion on an antelope."

"Great," Leia said, falling back against the bed.

"Did you try talking to anyone from the Bluebelles?" Lyle asked, "I'm not saying they'd just confess on the spot but maybe one of them let something slip?"

"Their lips were sealed tighter than Fort Knox," Liby answered.

"So that's it?" Leia asked, sitting back up. "We just give up?"

"I didn't say that Miss Loud," Liby said, a subtle smile twitching at the corner of her lips.

"You have a plan don't you?" Lyle said eagerly. Liby hopped off the deck and began pacing around it. The intended theatrical effect was, it must be said, massively undermined by how close to the wall the desk was with her chair in the way so each time she went behind it she had to go flat against the wall and shuffle awkwardly past it.

"The plan was risky, it would mean playing Russian roulette with 5-barrels loaded instead of one and I'd not even be the one with the gun to my head," Liby started ranting as she paced. "My mind raced like a locomotive as I thought about what might go wrong, they'd be alone, nothing to reply on but their wits and balancing on a wing and a prayer while surrounded by villains and scoundrels."

"Lyle," Leia said, sitting but up, "Can you translate? I don't speak detective."

"I think," Lyle began cautiously, picking out the keywords in his sister's monologue. "She's suggesting we send someone in to infiltrate the Bluebelles."

"Is that true Liby?" Leia asked, "Is that what your suggesting?"

"My secretary Lyle was sharper than a freshly picked lime," Liby said.

"That means yes," Lyle said, continuing to translate.

"I figured," Leia said with irritation.

"Do you have anyone in mind?" Lyle asked, curiously.

"As a matter of fact, I do," Liby said, coming to a standstill, removing her detective hat and dropping out of character. "I was thinking…you."

Luna came outside into the cool evening air, she frowned at seeing an empty beer bottle on the deck Lincoln had downed in the few minutes he'd been out here.

"Sup," Lincoln said casually.

"Hey dude," Luna said, leaning back against the wooden rail. Neither one of them spoke for a bit, the silence between them surprisingly not awkward. "Lincoln…we need to talk," she said at last. Inwardly he asked himself why did she have to use that expression?

She took a few steps towards him. "You mind if I sit?"

Lincoln shrugged nonchalantly. Luna sat down next to him and took a deep breath.

What now? Lincoln wondered. He was already being yanked around like a dog on a leash by this twisted family, the fact that he had started to enjoy spending time with the kids and the feelings of responsibility that came with it did not override his frustrations regarding his lack of autonomy. Lincoln consoled himself that this was Luna sat next to him so whatever she was about to say would most likely be grounded.

Still, he was growing increasingly fed up of always being on the receiving end of their endless requests and demands. Their Lincoln was at least being compensated with endless sex, something he didn't want. Perhaps he just wanted to prolong the inevitable, but Lincoln decided he would at least make her wait a bit as there were things that had been on his mind these last few days he wanted answers too.

"Before you start, I have a few questions," Lincoln said, taking another swig of beer.

"Sure dude," Luna said smiling, secretly happy for an excuse to put off the conversation herself, knowing it was probably going to provoke an argument.

"So, what's the deal with Sam?" He asked. "Lyra mentioned her and Lemy went to stay with her after your Lincoln went away. What happened?"

"Ah, that," Luna said protectively. She pulled her knees up to her chest, placed her hand on them and rested her chin in it. Luna let out a hollow chuckle. There was a hardness to her eyes before they quickly softened, her face one of melancholy. "It's funny, it actually ties into what I wanted to talk to you about." Lincoln raised an eyebrow. "I guess you could say I was lost. It was 5-years ago when our parents discovered what was going on, you know the gist right?" Luna asked.

"More or less," He answered, "I didn't go out of my way to ask, but I've picked up bits and pieces."

"It was Lana getting knocked up that pushed them over the edge," Luna said sadly. "Although it was Lola's pregnancy before then that started making them suspicious. Before then, it was like they just refused to think about it, how the same thing kept happening." She paused for a moment, staring out across the back yard, childhood memories enveloping her like a blanket, simpler, more innocent times.

"I wasn't on board from day one you know. It was tempting, I saw how close the others were getting, but I was in love with Sam, she was my whole world. Luan…she said I was just being stubborn, that once I joined them I'd never look back. Once she even locked me and Lincoln in a closet so we could have our, '7-minutes in heaven.'" Luna smiled at the memory. "He was so sweet, insisting he didn't plan this and even hurt his shoulder trying to bash the door open, he didn't want me to feel uncomfortable."

"You were going to tell me about Sam," Lincoln prompted, trying to keep her from getting side tracked talking about her brother.

"Anyway," She continued, "I remained devoted to Sam, the Moon Goats were going places, everything was awesome until…" Luna trailed off, sadness overcoming her.

"The house fire?" He interjected.

"How did you?" Luna asked, surprised.

"I saw the scars on her face," Lincoln answered. "My Sam was also caught in a house fire. I figure she was lucky enough to get out"

"Oh my God," she said, shocked. "You say she was…'inside,' when it happened?"

"Yeah," Lincoln said, not quite following her emphasis.

"So she…" Luna said quietly, unwilling to finish the sentence.

"She died," He said solemnly. Luna stood up then, on shaky legs and stumbled forward into the garden, her head spinning.

"Luna," Lincoln asked, getting to his feet, with genuine concern in his voice. In a flash of anger Luna kicked Lizzy's inflatable dinosaur and it went sailing through the air for a moment before gently coming back down.

"She's such a wonderful person," She said in despair. "I don't want to imagine a world without her in it." She turned to face Lincoln. "When I was first told that you and your sisters never developed the kind of relationship we did, I just assumed, if there was a Sam in your world, her and Luna would have gotten married, started a family."

Lincoln didn't know what to say, partly because, until she died, that's exactly what he had thought too.

"I know me being here makes that parallel Universe seem more real than if Lisa has just presented to you as an equation," Lincoln said slowly. "But if there are an infinite number of parallel Universes, some, where history played out completely differently or humans never evolved, try to take some comfort that, among an infinite number of possibilities, you got to be born in one where you could share some of your formative years with her." He favored her with a warm smile.

"Thank you, Lincoln," Luna said, wiping her eyes. "You always know just what to say."

"Hardly," Lincoln said, feeling a little guarded at Luna so casually conflating her Lincoln and him together. "At least your Sam was able to escape the fire though." Lincoln added.

"She didn't escape it," She said, her voice strained. "She tried to get in." Lincoln tilted his head to the side, perplexed. "I told you I was tempted, the love they were sharing was just so...pure." Not the word I'd use, Lincoln thought dryly. "I started spending more and more time with Sam, I just didn't want to be in the house anymore. Things were better when I was at school most of the day, but then the vacations would come." Luna headed back to the deck and sat back down, Lincoln following but choosing to remain standing.

"It was a few days into summer break," Luna began again. "Leni was heavily pregnant with Liena at this point." Lincoln shuddered at the thought. "With her due any day now, most of my sisters were in the living room, fussing over her, while she was on the couch. Lori and Lincoln were sitting either side of her, Lori breastfeeding Loan while Leni placed Lincoln's hand on her stomach to feel the baby move."

"Charming," He said, deadpan.

"I felt something then," She said. "A need to be part of it. I realized I wanted to have a baby with him too and not just that, I could feel all the mental barriers I put up in my heart to protect my love of Sam start to break down. How attracted I was to Lincoln and Luan. How even while I was putting my fingers in my ears to block out the sounds of them making love in bed below me I was getting turned on. How deep down I just wanted to climb down and join them and knew they would open their arms and lovingly embrace me." Lincoln felt pretty nauseous but kept the bile down, figuring she was building to something important.

"I ran out of there," Luna said. "And I kept running until I reached Sam's house. I grabbed her hand and pulled her outside the moment she opened the door, kissing her…I tried to make myself forget." Luna looked deeply ashamed and in that moment Lincoln wondered, was it from guilt and resisting her incestuous feelings or a rare glimpse behind the looking glass that subconsciously she was remorseful she had not been strong enough to resist?

"I took her out on a spontaneous date and when it got late, we hit a club." She stopped then and buried her face in her hands. "That's when Sam got the call on her phone, about the fire." Luna paused and gathered her strength. "We drove straight there, it's a miracle we didn't crash. The house was burning so hard it lit up the sky."

"I remember," He said sympathetically. His Luna had been hanging at home when she got the call and the whole family had headed over in Vanzilla.

"The police and fire department were already there," Luna said, lost in the memory. The cops were trying to keep people from getting too close, but Sam didn't care. As soon as the car stopped, she was out the door running, screaming for her parents and brother. A firefighter grabbed her as she tried to go through the door, dragging her back, her face burning."

"I'm sorry," Lincoln said, sitting down and patting her patting her shoulder.

"Sam blamed herself for losing her family," She said bitterly. "I tried over and over to tell her it was not her fault, but she wouldn't listen. She kept saying, 'if I had been there, maybe I could have saved them.' That's when she turned to Christianity and decided to work towards becoming a spiritual leader. She said it was her penance for betraying her family, for putting her selfish desires first. There was no place for me on her new path."

"Did you resent her?" He asked, "For casting you aside?

"Maybe a little at first," Luna said sheepishly, "I'm only human, dude. But in the end I was happy she found a way to make peace with herself about what happened."

"Peace and love apparently," Lincoln said to break the tension, holding up his 2-fingers.

"Heh," She chuckled lightly, forcing a weak smile. "I tried to move on too, dropped out of college and toured with the Moon Goats. But I knew I was just trying to fool myself, so I returned home after a few months and…well…along came Lyra."

"Having your brother's baby, the perfect fairytale ending," He said sarcastically, but there was lightness to it rather than being overly condescending. Luna smirked and rolled her eyes.

"Only it didn't last," She said, her voice wistful. "When our parents forced him out, it was rough dude. Everyone had it bad but, in some ways I think it was worse for me. You talked about how in your world your sisters are all big shots."

"Most of them," Lincoln corrected. "Lilly's still in college, the only place she's currently famous is a few anime fan groups. And Lisa, well, she's under house arrest just like your's." Although saying that he had no doubt Lisa and Lilly would be joining the Loud hall of fame in due time.

"Right," Luna conceded, "My point is, even if my other sisters had the talent to go places if things turned out differently, I'm the only one who did. I'm the only one who got a taste of it." Lincoln considered her words, he imagined it would have been difficult to relate to her siblings who never got to experience it.

Luna reached over and picked up a bottle of beer and looked at it, twisting it back and forth. "When I was touring, I hit the bottle pretty hard," She said. Luna brought the bottle to her forehead and felt the coolness of it. "I told myself I was just living the rocker lifestyle, but I was just trying to dull the pain of Sam leaving. After I came back home, after I accepted my feelings and started being true to myself, I didn't need to drink anymore. So when Lincoln left, I fell back on that." She removed the bottle from her face, scoffed at it and put it back down on the deck. "I had sacrificed one dream for another and then fate gave me the middle finger and took that away from me." Luna stared down at her purple colored nails. "My sisters saw me spiraling out of control and tried to help but I…pushed them away…I was ashamed."

Lincoln suddenly felt uncomfortable, an itching feeling spread around his neck and adjusted his collar. Luna's line of thought was hitting a little too close to home. "So how did Sam end up with the kids?" He asked, trying not to dwell on that any further.

"I was finding it harder and harder to take care of them," Luna said, crystal tears starting to form in the corner of her eyes. "Sometimes I didn't get out of bed all day, I'd be too drunk to remember to do basic stuff. The tipping point was Lyra waking me up while I lay in a pool of my own vomit telling me her and Lemy were hungry and there was no food in the apartment." The tears were flowing freely now. "First, I saw my daughter's pleading face, then I looked at her and Lemy and I noticed how thin they were. I hadn't cleaned the apartment in months, there was trash everywhere. I finally admitted to myself I needed help, but I couldn't call my sisters, I just couldn't let them see the state I was in after I told them so many times I was okay."

"What about our parents?" Lincoln asked and immediately regretted it when Luna flashed daggers at him.

"They fucked everything up!" Luna said uncharacteristically angry. "I wanted nothing to do with them and I sure as hell didn't want them raising my kids and telling them I was a sick freak."

"They'd not have done that," He said, feeling an urge to defend these unknown parents that he imagined were very much like his own, in spite of how estranged he felt towards his own father.

"Heh, you're probably right," She said, regaining her composure. Luna dried her eyes with her sleeve. "So I called the only other person I trusted completely."

"I get the picture," Lincoln said, satisfied with her explanation.

"Tell me Lincoln," She began. "What's your Luna like?"

"You're asking the wrong person," He said, irritably. He took a swig from his beer, "I don't really know her anymore."

"Sorry dude, I remember now, you don't really see or talk much do you?" Luna said.

"Not anymore," Lincoln answered casually.

"But," She persisted, not willing to give up. "Could you tell me more about her"

"Why do you care?" He shot back, trying to dodge the question. "None of your sisters give a damn about it, they just want to gloat about their perfect, happy lives."

"I don't think any of them would say our lives are perfect dude," Luna responded. "Well, maybe Lynn, you know how she can be." Lincoln nodded and hit back another swig from the bottle in his hand. "But like I said, I got a taste of something different, I wanna know how it panned out."

"Well," Lincoln said, resigning himself to answering her. "This is just my Universe you understand, who's to say if you had not gone home your life would have panned out like my Luna." Luna nodded.

"Her and the Moon Goats hit it pretty big, despite Sam's death. They ended up recruiting another member, you remember Tabby? The girl you tried to set me up with?"

Luna laughed, "Of course I remember Tabby! You know if you didn't get with me and our other sisters in your universe, Tabby was right there. She's a cool chick."

Lincoln smiled despite himself and nodded, "I know she is… Anyway, she took Sam's place in the band, and you guys hit it big after two years of your initial touring. You're a household name now."

"Sweet," Luna said, taking her alternative's achievements as an indirect confirmation of her own talent. "Lisa said she's married, 2-twins?" She prompted.

"Yeah, twin boys and she married one of her groupies, a woman named Chantelle," He continued. "She likes to party pretty hard, in fact she OD'd on coke at their wedding reception."

"Jesus," Luna exclaimed, "Was she okay?"

"She was fine," He said dismissively. "Lisa was on hand, treating a drug overdose was piss easy for her."

"Sounds like she parties a little too hard," Luna said.

"My Luna keeps up with her," Lincoln said smugly. "For her it's all sex, drugs and rock and roll. She's living her best life, I don't think she'll stop partying till she's dead."

"I hope that's still a long way off," she said ominously. The inherent dangers in such a lifestyle hang in the air unspoken between them. "And the twins, are they okay?" Luna said cautiously.

"Relax, they're happy and healthy," He said, brushing aside her concerns. "They have a nanny, housekeeper and a chef."

"Good," She said, smiling. "What are their names?"

"Sam and Mick," Lincoln said sagely.

"Dude, she named one of them Mick Swagger and the other after…" Luna said, trailing off.

"She did," He confirmed, "Although ironically they each have the other's hair color to match the people they drew their names from, Mick ended up a blond while Sam's a brunette."

"Boys can be quite a handful," Luna said. "I don't think I could handle two. How old are they?"

"Ten," Lincoln answered.

"Hummmmmmmmm," She hummed approvingly. "I remember Lemy at ten, he was one cute little dude, he'd smile so much." Luna's face turned despondent.

"Luna," he asked, remembering the strange look Lemy gave him in the church when he squeezed his hand and repeated some words from The Lord's Prayer. "Is Lemy…alright? Is anything wrong with him?"

"I'm not sure," She said, looking worried. "If there is, he won't talk to me about it. I know he's at that age but, it might be more than that. Lacy told me he and Lincoln had an argument the day before you arrived. I guess I don't need to get too worked up, he has you."

"What?" Lincoln said, startled.

"He's really latched onto you Lincoln," Luna said. "He always wants to spend time with you."

Lincoln felt uncomfortable.

"He's just missing his father," he said, trying to downplay what she was saying.

"No," She said firmly, "Look I hate to say this but, while Lemy loves Lincoln, he likes you more."

"Really?" Lincoln said surprised and actually felt his lips turn up into a goofy, shit eating grin. Hearing that felt good.

"Yes dude," Luna said, grinning back at him. "I promise I'm not yanking your chain."

"Well, that is nice to hear I guess," He said awkwardly.

"It's because of that though that I have to say what comes next," She said, looking very apprehensive.

"Is this what you wanted to talk about earlier?" Lincoln checked.

"Un huh," Luna responded. "I need to talk to you…about your drinking."

"Seriously?" He said, already feeling irritated. "No offense Luna, but I'm not a washed up alcoholic like you were. I'm in control."

"Are you though?" She asked, her voice laced with concern. Looking down at the almost empty bottle in his hand. "You've been out here, what, 10-minutes and you've already polished off 2-beers.

"2-beers is nothing," Lincoln said dismissively.

"Maybe so," Luna said carefully. "But how many would you have had if I'd not been out here distracting you? Four? Five? I've talked to the others, they all saw how quickly you get through them during their weeks."

"It's none of your damn business," He spat out, already transitioning from irritated to pissed off.

"I'm sorry Lincoln but it is," She shot back. "Maybe not me personally, but as a mother to a son that really needs you right now and it's not just Lemy. Lizzy would be really upset if she couldn't play with you. While Lupa, I think she's missing him more than any of the kids…you're her lifeline. The rest of them need you too, in their own way."

"I have it under control!" Lincoln snapped, getting to his feet. "I'm not about to die of liver failure okay?! So get off my fucking case!" Lincoln proceeded to storm inside. After a moment, Luna sighed and followed him in.

After she left, a small figure crept out from her hiding place under the porch. Lupa has planned to silently come out and getting right up close to him without noticing, startle him by saying his name. She had heard from her mother stories about when she would often do this to her father back when they were children.

Now though she has been privy to something far more interesting and worrying. The young girl looked at the 4-abandoned beer bottles and felt her stomach clench as anxiety washed over it. Picking up each bottle one at a time, she poured them all out on the grass. Smiling at her work, Lupa headed back under the porch and through the small vent back into the house.