Fives didn't even consider fighting Kix when it came to staying at the med bay for the night. Apart from the pointlessness of the dispute, Fives actually appreciated the chance to spend some time away from the barracks. Not because of the IV with painkillers attached to his skin or better-tasting food than what was served in the canteen. He didn't really care about those things. The wound would heal either way. But processing his thoughts and feelings needed special attention and Fives wasn't ruling out the possibility that it was the medical one. Despite being bred to fight, post-shot traumas weren't that uncommon among Clones and Fives suspected he was experiencing severe brain damage. Kix would probably have a mild breakdown at Fives' poor diagnosis but it still made more sense than falling in love with his Jedi Commander.

Memories of Ahsoka's teary look flashed before his eyes and Fives' heart shattered all over again. He hadn't caught even a glimpse of her ever since returning to the cruiser. As much as he wanted to see Ahsoka, he didn't expect her to show up at his doors. Surely she had a ton of reports to fill out after the mission and must have felt tired. Fives wondered if she still blamed herself. Ahsoka had a habit of dragging herself into an endless spiral of guilt. He didn't sacrifice his shoulder just to let her drown in remorse. Especially when she had no rational reason to do so. Ahsoka was always like that, no matter how many times he assured her that she wasn't responsible for each and every setback. But Fives was never tired of comforting her. As long as he could see the relieved breath leaving her lungs, for Fives it was more than enough. He loved her for all that.

What the hell was he actually thinking? His mind became too comfortable with this word. And how was he even to know what love really was? Sure, he loved his brothers, would give his life for them. However, Fives was certain that with Ahsoka it was something very different and yet no other word than love seemed adequate to describe his feelings. Maybe it was due to his rather exclusionary training on Kamino - surely semantics wasn't the most desired skill on the battlefield. Now he felt that his training was failing him 'cause while struggling to put the feelings into chains of labels, he was at a loss.

But what if it wasn't his limited vocabulary that was the case? What if he was the problem? He never should have developed such deep feelings towards Ahsoka. Should've controlled himself before the affection became so intense that he could not see the exit. Stubborn denial of that fact hasn't prevented it from happening. But did he truly have control over his feelings? It's not like he tried to fall in love with her. He knew his silly affection was in no one's favour. Ahsoka was a Jedi, certainly, she wouldn't feel comfortable knowing how he really felt about her. Sure, she would be kind and considerate, being the wonderful person she was, but her compassion would only make him feel worse. Not to mention all of the GAR regulations. So really, there weren't any other prospects. He'll have to gain some control over his mind and force these feelings to drown. Now he only had to figure out how to do that. And while laying on a cot, Fives had plenty of time to think.

The lights were low in his room and with only a faint blue glow coming from the scanners, he could barely see beyond the edge of his bed. There were no other patients in the room and after Jesse and Tup had been kicked out of the medbay, Fives was left alone. The echo of their bickering and laughter had long since quietened, and the only sound louder than his tormenting thoughts was the steady hum of the devices measuring his vitals.

He knew he should try and force himself to fall asleep. He couldn't just mindlessly gape at the ceiling till the morning. Fives closed his eyes shut when a soft swoosh drew his gaze towards the door. There was no light coming from the corridor, so despite straining his sight Fives couldn't distinguish the silhouette. He was intently staring into pitch darkness and after what felt like hours, Fives started to consider whether the person already left or if anyone ever really crossed this door. But one fleeting reflection of light flashing across blue eyes was enough to resolve all his doubts.

"Soka?" He wasn't asking for confirmation, he was sure who his visitor was. Fives called her name to pull Ahsoka from the chaos in her mind, in which she clearly got stuck.

"Yeah?" A soft voice answered tentatively.

"How much longer are you going to stand there?" Fives prompted gently.

"A while." She replied after a moment of hesitation.

"Okay then." He chimed in as if her hiding in the dark by the door was the most natural thing to do.

There was a long pause which Fives wasn't going to break. He was waiting patiently, giving her all the time she wanted. Then he heard Ahsoka's conceding sigh, followed by light footsteps. She sat down in the chair that Jesse scooted to the side of the bed a few hours ago. But unlike his brother, Ahsoka was sitting awkwardly, her hands clenching tightly on the edge of the chair. On the bright side, she was already wearing a new set of clothing and all the blood stains from her arms were gone. Fives liked it better that way.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up." She said sheepishly, pulling him away from taking in her appearance. Fives cursed himself mentally after realising how long he'd been staring at the girl.

"You didn't." He assured her quickly. Ahsoka held his gaze for a moment before nodding slowly. A silence fell upon them so oppressive that he could almost hear the drops dripping into his IV.

"How are you feeling?" She finally asked.

"I'm good." He affirmed in a light voice with all the conviction he had. "Although the pillows are a tad too soft." Fives joked but the tight twitch on Ahsoka's face wasn't even a shadow of a smile. Her brow-markings furrowed as she eyed him slowly. Her gaze traced down from the thick dressing on his shoulder to the IV at the back of his hand. Fives' chest seized when her eyes returned to his, holding even more prominent sorrow now.

"Fives, I'm so so-"

"Don't apologise." He cut in, stopping her from articulating an apology he didn't want to hear. "I don't hold any grudges against you, so you shouldn't either." He continued firmly before Ahsoka managed to protest. "I'm no Jedi but I can easily see that guilt is eating you up. You're not responsible for everything that goes wrong." Although Fives wasn't much of a speaker, he hoped that these few words would get through to her. Then her tightly pressed lips reminded him that Ahsoka has never been one of the yielding people.

"I'm responsible for my mistakes." She pressed sternly. "And no one but me should suffer the consequences." Her voice became a lot sharper, but Fives didn't feel intimidated by it in the slightest.

"You can't always be perfect, Soka. Not being omnipotent isn't a flaw - it's what makes you sentient."

"But I should've known better." Bitterness permeated her tone and her knuckles had turned white from clenching harder on the chair's edge. "I should've been more focused, should've-"

"If you must blame someone then blame me for jumping in front of a gun sight." He interjected, breaking her spiral of self-guilt. Despite his intention to remain calm, Fives' voice took on harshness. "But don't expect an apology 'cause I don't regret shit." Fives stated firmly. Only when the words weren't met with any response, he began to regret having said too much.

Ahsoka's eyes widened at him in astonishment but that was the only emotion he could recognise from her face. Fives was debating if he'd overstepped as a soldier - Ahsoka was his commanding officer, after all - or just simply hurt her feelings as a friend. He didn't know whether he should start uttering the apologies he'd barely swore not to voice, or wait and brace himself for scolding. Before he decided on either, Ahsoka spoke up.

"If you don't want my apologies" Her voice was soft and calm yet each word resonated in his chest. "then accept the thanks." Fives was stunned. He would've blinked in confusion but the way she was looking into his eyes was so sincere and full of gratitude that he couldn't avert his gaze for even a second. "Thank you, Fives."

Fives inhaled sharply but it took him a while to force the air out of his lungs. For all the things he expected, this wasn't it. Not because he didn't consider Ahsoka a grateful person - far from it - but because he didn't feel worthy of thanks. Not those spoken with such intimacy and tenderness.

"I-" He muttered but faltered. What was he actually supposed to say? You're welcome? Fives almost scoffed at his helplessness. He swallowed hard and finally replied in the lightest tone he could muster. "Sure thing, Commander."

Ahsoka's lips pulled upward in a gentle smile - the first since she appeared in his room. Fives wanted to get an eyeful of it but she soon became serious again.

"For the record, I still don't want you to risk your life for me."

"Why? Because that's your thing to do?" Fives bit back an exasperated sigh but couldn't refrain from rolling his eyes. "Do all the Jedi have a saving-the-day complex?"

"You think I'm jealous of you taking all the spotlight?" She asked with a hint of amusement in her voice.

"Yeah, you're spoiling my super-hero moment. Let me bathe in glory for a while." Ahsoka laughed sonorously and for Fives it was the greatest sound in the galaxy.

"Then these are from your fans, I assume." Ahsoka indicated the card lying on the table next to his bed. It was plain, just a white piece of paper with a note written in a lopsided script 'You're so attractive that you attract all the bullets'. Fives snorted the same way he did when first seeing the gift. Jesse and Tup would never miss an opportunity to tease him. Simultaneously he couldn't be more grateful for his brothers.

"I'm sure they're accepting new members to the fanclub if you're interested in joining-" He stopped short when all the lamps in the room suddenly went on. Fives had to shut his eyes close to protect them from the harsh light but even before opening them back, he knew who was standing on his doorstep.

"Hey, Kix." Ahsoka slowly turned in her chair and greeted the man. Although Fives could only see her side profile, he knew she had pulled out the kind of smile she always wore when caught red-handed.

"Nice to see ya buddy, but isn't it a bit late to visit?" Fives raised one questioning eyebrow knowing very well which strings of Kix's patience he was pulling.

"Isn't it a bit late to be a di'kut?" Medic swiftly retorted. He was leaning on a door's frame with arms folded over his chest, ready for the imminent bickering with Fives. "I came to check up on your drip but if you prefer to dehydrate then I won't impose on you."

"Soka, I think my nurse is trying to kill me." Fives wailed, proud of his act as he heard Ahsoka's soft chuckle.

"Call me your nurse once again and I really will." Kix threatened but pushed himself from the doorframe anyway and came up to Fives' bed. "And what are you doing here, Commander?" Medic asked without looking away from the IV he was replacing. "Providing mental support?"

"I think it was the other way round." Ahsoka admitted, slightly lowering her chin as if embarrassed. Fives' head snapped in surprise at her words. He felt heat creeping at his cheeks and woefully wished the lights were low again. But then he noticed Ahsoka's lekku chevrons had become one shade darker. He would have watched in awe as she blushed further but Kix's comment sobered him enough.

"Fives personated as a psychiatrist? I can only imagine the dreadful effect it had on your mind." Kix retorted with a smirk. If it wasn't for the fact that the bullet had pierced Fives' shoulder merely a few hours ago, he would have whacked the medic. Now he had to use the only weapon he had left - his witty comebacks.

"Don't worry, I'm sure my brief stint as a pretend therapist was nowhere near as damaging as your excessive sarcasm." The best proof that he won this round was Kix's exasperated sigh and roll of brown eyes. The greatest reward was Ahsoka's sonorous laughter.

"I'm done." Kix announced and only after a moment did Fives realise he in fact meant the drip and not their conversation.

"That's great, Kix. You should really rest more." Ahsoka said, leaning casually on the seatback and crossing her legs. "I'll see you around tho." Kix looked at her pointedly, his gaze saying more than any words could. "Alright, alright. I'm going." She conceded while reluctantly getting up from the chair. Fives escorted her to the exit with his eyes and just when he thought she would leave like that, Ahsoka turned around, her lekku swaying at the sudden movement. "I'll come by to see you tomorrow." Her gorgeous smile left Fives lightheaded and unable to form any coherent reply. Before he scolded himself mentally, Ahsoka was already gone.

"You attract trouble, I give you that." Kix remarked after glancing at the handmade card on the table. This time, Fives couldn't agree more. But he didn't feel obliged to admit it out loud so the room remained silent until the medic approached the exit. "I hope this is the end of your guests this evening."

"No promises." Fives answered, though without the usual amount of sass. He didn't miss Kix rolling his eyes before he switched off the lights, letting the faint blue glow be Fives' only companion.

The moment the door shut, Fives' head sunk into the soft pillows. When he closed his eyes, images of Ahsoka's smiling face appeared in his mind. He quickly snapped them open. The dark ceiling was considerably less endearing but it seemed…healthier. More appropriate. He sighed heavily. Unfalling in love shouldn't be this hard. Fives was a soldier. Shutting feelings out and doing what's right was his standard fare. Yet here he was, afraid to even blink for too long. Laying in the darkness, knowing that sleep won't come any time soon. Yeah, Fives was doing great.