When the ground finally stopped shaking, Fives snapped his eyes open. Vivid pain ripped through his back, as even the plastoid couldn't cushion the hard impact after colliding with the stone wall. That didn't matter though. The only distress he was consumed with was the one concerning Ahsoka's wellbeing. Fives stood up abruptly but had to grab onto a protruding rock to avoid falling to the ground again. His head was spinning and, had it not been pitch black, he was sure he would have seen reality swirling around him. Fives switched on the torch in his helmet but needed extra few seconds to chase away the dark spots in front of his eyes.
"Ahsoka!" He shouted, frantically looking around. The tremor of his voice wasn't surprising even to his ears. There was no point in denying how terrified he was. Fives was turning his head around to illuminate the surroundings but he still couldn't spot her - wherever he looked, all he could see was that insanely white snow.
"Over here." A faint voice called out from further into the cave, making Fives spin around immediately.
Torchlight fell first on crimson streaks upon the ice-covered ground. Thick red drops froze on the pure surface before they could sink into the snow. Yet new, hefty trickles kept running and led straight to the spring of the bloody river. Fives' heart hammered in his rib cage and he wished the scenery was monochrome again.
Ahsoka lay limp on her back. Right above left knee, her thigh was ripped open as if an icy blade had sliced through her skin, cutting deep into her flesh; which was probably exactly what had happened. Fives snapped out of his initial shock and within seconds found himself at her side.
"I'm okay." Ahsoka mumbled weakly. "It's just the leg." Fives scoffed in disbelief.
"Because there was something very wrong with your head for a long time now?" He fell to his knees, hoping that up close the wound wouldn't look so bad. His hopes were washed away with the blood seeping profusely from the girl's leg.
"Funny." Ahsoka huffed and began to lift herself up on her forearms, proving that she indeed was out of her mind.
"Stay still." He stopped her before she could damage the wound even more. "Just… let me handle it."
Fives took another quick look at the bleeding gash before deciding on the best way to treat it. Not that there were many options. Apart from his only essential medical knowledge, he didn't have any equipment to disinfect the wound, let alone suture it. He opened a sack from his belt and hurriedly rummaged through its little content. Mercifully there was a roll of bandage and something for disinfection, but that would be the end of it. Patches won't be of much use in this case. His thoughts travelled to his medkit, tucked inside his speeder and already dragged to the foot of the mountain, along with the remains of the outpost. Fives held back an annoyed groan; he'll have to make do with what he had.
He quickly poured antiseptics on his hands, not caring how it made his own cuts burn. Fives had trouble unveiling the material of her trousers as it was completely soaked and sticking to her skin. He tore a piece of bandage to put pressure on the wound but kept in mind that he couldn't be too extravagant - he'll need it to make a dressing afterwards.
For a moment Fives debated whether to warn Ahsoka before touching the injury but as he brought his hands closer, he noticed how her muscles had tensed up already. Fives wished there was another way, but, no matter how reluctant he was, it was inevitable. In one quick motion, he pressed the folded material to Ahsoka's leg. He shut his eyes close as a heartbreaking cry escaped her lips.
"Sorry." He whispered but pressed on the wound harder nonetheless. Ahsoka opened her mouth to say something, and for all he knew her, she presumably wanted to rebuke him for his unfounded apology, but after a sharp inhale her teeth gritted so hard that it was painful for him to watch. She tried in vain to hold back pitiful whimpering. Fives flinched when a heart-wrenching whine escaped her lips. On the other hand, it meant she was still conscious and he really couldn't let her slip away into oblivion right now.
"Only ten more minutes; t'll be over before you notice." He promised gently, but Ahsoka merely nodded. He was monitoring the chrono, knowing that a quarter should be enough to cease the bleeding. He hoped he sounded convincing because, in fact, Fives didn't know what he'd do if it didn't work. They were on their own, with no medicine and no way out. Only his clenched hands on her thigh and the warm blood seeping through. He tried not to think too much about the liquid collecting at his knees. How it melted the snow, forming an even bigger puddle. The scrap of bandage he pressed onto the wound was long soaked and not differing from the crimson of her trousers. He really needed to add another layer of clothing.
Fives shifted his arms, putting all of his strength to the left one and took the right away so he could tear the bandage.
"Over already?" Ahsoka asked with hooded eyes. "You were right, it did pass quickly."
"Not yet, just adding another layer." He corrected her. Fives grabbed the roll of bandage but swiftly realised that it won't be easy having only one free arm.
"Need a hand?" Ahsoka offered as casually as she could at the moment.
"If you have nothing better to do." Fives replied and with her help, he hurriedly ripped the white material.
"Yeah, you know, I'm just chillin-" Ahsoka said nonchalantly but stopped short as he placed the bandage over the wound and pressed hard on it. The shrill sound of her whimper pierced Fives' every bone, imprinting it in his memory certainly to haunt him later in the worst nightmares.
"Almost done. I promise." Fives tried to soothe her with his words, knowing that his hands were only causing her suffering.
"You better have a 'great patient' sticker for me once you finish." Ahsoka exhaled heavily.
"Sure. Will you give me one for being an exemplary medic?" He then added another hand to increase pressure and a painful groan left her throat.
"Not with that amount of tenderness." She panted, futilely trying to take deeper breaths.
Fives smiled wryly. He appreciated her attempts to joke but he'd rather she focused on her breathing.
Each minute seemed to drag away. Fives' hands were getting numb but there was nothing in the galaxy that could make him loosen his grip. Although unevenly, Ahsoka's chest was still rising and that was all he could care about. After a long while he noticed with relief that the bleeding ceased and the only red stains on his hands were already dried.
"Finally." Fives said under his breath. He unfolded the roll of bandage and started wrapping it around her thigh. He noticed that with each compression on her leg, Ahsoka clenched her fists tighter and tighter. If it lasts much longer he might have to treat her palms too from the nail grazes. Fives squeezed the fabric for the final time and, trying to ignore the way she sharply sucked a breath, with a heavy heart he tied it securely. "You alright?"
"Yeah, fine." Ahsoka nodded through gritted teeth. "Will you help me get up?"
"You sure?"
"Yes, the ground is cold." She answered curtly. Fives doubted the stone wall would be much warmer. And although he preferred her to lie down to make sure the wound didn't bleed again, he didn't intend to question her request further - he knew what it had taken her to ask for help. He ever so gently put an arm behind her back and supported her weight so she could turn and lean against the wall. The movement was small, yet her breathing became more laboured.
Ahsoka closed her eyes, letting her head fall back against the wall. Fives crouched down on one knee in front of her and waited patiently till her shallow gasps settled down.
"I'm better now." She said with conviction in her voice and the kindest smile on her lips. "Thank you." Ahsoka fixed her eyes on him but Fives found it difficult to hold her gaze.
She was better now? A litre of blood was literally sinking into the snow beside them instead of flowing inside her veins. If it hadn't been for the bandage, her leg would have fallen apart, yet she had the audacity to say she was fine. Fives didn't even want to go into thanks. If she had simply saved herself rather than wasting her time on him, she wouldn't need any help now. But there was no point in arguing about it at the moment. He doubted Ahsoka would ever understand the problem he had with her constant self-sacrifice. So Fives said nothing. He reached out, grabbed the hem of her hood and pulled it firmly to better cover her montrals and cheeks. The gesture made her chuckle softly and her big eyes remained fixed on him. Fives' hands lingered on the hem of the garment and he had to take a quick breath to collect himself.
"Alright, sit tight. I'm gonna call for a cab." He told her and playfully slid the hood down over her eyes. "I don't think we're gonna get out of this mess on our own." Fives got up, hoping it will somehow help to strengthen a signal and dialled frequency on his comlink. "Captain? Captain Rex, come in."
"Fives? Where are you?" A familiar voice sounded. "Are you on your way back?" The signal wasn't as clear as one could desire but it was Captain's question that made Fives grimace.
"Yeah, not really." He would've scratched the back of his head if it wasn't for his helmet. "There was an avalanche and we're currently trapped inside a cave. Commander's injured." Fives made a pause, well aware that this piece of information was changing the situation. The heavy silence on the other side of the link only confirmed it. "Also there is oxygen left only for a few hours. So the hurry would be much appreciated."
"We'll be there." Captain assured him. "You need to keep tight, though. It's past sundown, flying in such conditions won't be easy."
"Copy that. Can you track our coordinates?"
"Already got 'em. We're setting off immediately." Fives could hear that Captain was on the move. "Hang in there. Rex out." The call ended. Fives stayed a moment longer with the comm raised to his lips because, despite the assurance that the help was on its way, he still felt restless.
Exhaling slowly, he stared at the solid wall of dense snow trapping them away from the fresh air. Fives brushed the icy surface with his fingers. There was no point in digging, even a shovel wouldn't be much help if he had one. But there was one tool which was able to slice such surfaces.
"I think I could cut a way out." He started slowly and turned around to look at Ahsoka. "But I'd need something sharp…" Fives paused, not wanting to directly address his request. He was too familiar with the Jedi not to know the importance lightsabers held, so he soon began to worry that he had acted offensively. But before Fives could back out, Ahsoka was already reaching inside her pocket.
"I told you they were out of the bet." She joked. "You always have to come out on top, don't you?" Ahsoka was putting on a playful smirk but Fives could tell by the look in her eyes that she wasn't taking it lightly. He wasn't gonna either.
"I'll be careful." He promised sincerely while tightening his hand on the hilt of the weapon she had drawn towards him.
"I know you will." Ahsoka nodded and let go of the lightsaber.
Fives delicately ran his finger over the handle; it was heavier in his palm than he'd expected. He couldn't quite describe the feeling but the moment his fingers made contact with the smooth metallic surface, he felt energy flicker through his fingertips as if the saber was responding to his touch. However, despite the undeniably mystical dimension of the situation, to Fives it was the emotional aspect that made it so significant. He had never witnessed Ahsoka lending her saber to anyone else. Perhaps he was looking for something more in her gesture than was actually there. Maybe she simply saw giving her weapon as the only way out. But no matter how you look at this, he was holding her saber. Her life, as General used to say. Yet she trusted Fives with it. She trusted him with her life.
Fives approached the buried entrance. A green glow covered the surroundings as he activated the blade. Fives felt slightly guilty at how much pleasure he felt wielding the weapon, but even in his wildest dreams, he had never fantasised about such a possibility. He grasped it securely in both hands and pushed its blade inside the icy wall. Snow easily gave in to the kyber-induced heat and for a moment Fives actually believed that it would work. But then he felt a tremor and it was much stronger than the pleasant hum of the lightsaber in his hands. The ground began to shake and he heard the tumble of snow far overhead. Just in time, Fives managed to take out the saber and leap away from the collapsing ceiling. White dust hovered in the air for a while longer; it clouded his vision and left him coughing. Fives straightened up and looked at his work. There actually was more snow now than before he started cutting an entrance.
"Guess we'll have to wait for the rescue after all." He brushed the snow from his helmet and shoulders.
"It was worth a shot." Ahsoka said, accepting the lightsaber from his hand. Fives sat beside her, glancing at her dressing.
"How's your leg?"
"Good. I think it stopped bleeding completely." She replied casually as if talking about the weather. Given her tone, Fives was surprised she didn't shrug her shoulders dismissively. He hardly believed she felt any better, fresh stains of blood on the dressing didn't add to her credibility either. He bore his gaze into her wound, deeply wondering if there was anything else he could do to help her.
"Calm down, Healer Fives." Ahsoka said sarcastically, apparently aware of his restlessness. "I'm alright. We're gonna wait here for a while so there's no point for you to stress out all this time."
Fives raised his gaze to her. She had a point, Fives had to admit, but simultaneously he was starting to get really annoyed by her carefree attitude. She could show a little bit of concern. At least enough so that he didn't come across as paranoid when he definitely wasn't.
Still staring straight into her eyes, he ostentatiously stretched out his legs and folded his arms over his chest.
"See?" Ahsoka smiled sweetly. "That's better." Fives didn't reply. He just let out an exasperated sigh and rolled his eyes, wishing she could've seen that. It promised to be a long and uneasy wait.
Time was seeping slowly like blood through Ahsoka's bandage. Fives got bored of gaping at the frosted wall in front of them, so he simply closed his eyes. He had no idea how deep they got buried in snow but he could hear the distant whistling of the wind. He shuddered at the sheer thought of a storm crashing down on the mountains. His muscles were stiff from laying on the cold flooring but considering their situation, he was only glad that they still had air to breathe.
"When I'm back on Corrie I wanna eat blue-milk pancakes." Ahsoka spoke up suddenly. Fives snapped his eyes open but took a moment to process the absurdity of her announcement.
"Really?" Fives asked sceptically. "That's what you're thinking about? Food?"
"What? It's not like you're entertaining me with a talk."
"Fair enough." He agreed. "What do you wanna talk about?"
"What will you eat once we're back?" She asked without a moment's thought.
"Whatever the mess serves." He answered indifferently.
"I don't know Fives," Ahsoka shook her head. "these are some bold wishes." The sarcasm in her voice was more than obvious.
"Just being realistic." He shrugged.
"Okay, then, what would you eat if you could have anything?" She specified, trying to dig something more meaningful from him.
"That's a rather personal question." Fives teased her, wearing a serious expression that Ahsoka couldn't maintain. She rolled her eyes with a dramatic sigh.
"I'll answer yours if you dare to unveil this mysterious side of you." She prompted, not missing the opportunity to mock him.
"Tempting." He admitted, 'cause it was still a good offer. "Deal." He bent one leg and rested his elbow on his knee. "Jogan fruit pie. There's this great cantina on the lower levels where you can get it only for a few credits. Sometimes only for a nice smile if the owner's in a good mood. Satisfied?" Fives inquired, wanting to find out whether he'd elaborated enough.
"Very." Ahsoka nodded with a pleased grin. "Then, what do you wanna ask?"
When making the deal, Fives didn't have anything specific in mind. He thought it would take a while for him to come up with something interesting but actually, the question popped up in his head immediately. "What does General have in mind when he brings up an 'agriculture adventure'?" Fives heard Skywalker mention it only three or four times but each time Ahsoka was making a wry face. The same one she was wearing right now.
"You don't wanna know." Ahsoka twisted her mouth as if she recollected an embarrassing memory and Fives knew he hit the jackpot.
"Oh, I'm pretty sure I do." He assured her with a wide grin but Ahsoka only whined in response. He delicately nudged her with his elbow, trying to give her some courage. "Just spill it, how bad could it be?"
"Like the story so agonisingly embarrassing that you might as well leave me here to die." She moaned and Fives didn't know whether to laugh at her dramatisation or actually start worrying. But then Ahsoka let out a defeated sigh. "It's stays between you and me, got it?" She turned around to Fives and pointed her index finger at him threateningly. Fives first looked at her extended finger, then at her stern gaze. He held out his hand and hooked his pinky finger around hers.
"Got it." He said seriously, hoping that the sound of his voice didn't betray the smile he was hiding underneath the helmet. Ahsoka frowned in puzzlement but then she burst into laughter. Fives with delight watched how tension left her muscles and she once again comfortably leaned against the wall.
"Well," She began slowly, choosing her words carefully to convey the story in the least embarrassing way possible. "Once, a long time ago, I was on a mission on Felucia where we were supposed to capture fugitive pirates. However, during the manhunt, one of them got away. Disobeying orders, I immediately started chasing him and fell into, what I see now from a time perspective, an obvious trap." Ahsoka made a slightly longer pause. Fives could tell she was embarrassed by the way her lekku stripes darkened. He didn't think it was possible in this cold but she was actually blushing. "Long story short, the pirate fooled me, my speeder crashed into a barn and I ended up in a mud with a herd of shaaks and a sprained ankle. I couldn't get up so the farmers had to help me back to the ship, where Anakin greeted me with a not-so-compassionate smirk." Ahsoka finished with a comical grimace.
Fives involuntarily snorted but quickly reflected on himself and tried to cover his laughter with coughing.
"It's okay, you can laugh. I'm self-aware enough to know how dumb it was." She told him and let out a chuckle herself. But the next time Ahsoka opened her mouth, her voice was calmer and more introspective. "Anakin uses this as a reminder. It is his subtle way of warning me not to act rashly."
"For what it's worth, I think he deserves credit for not spreading the word to everyone." Fives remarked lightly, as Ahsoka wasn't the first person he'd inquired about the matter; even the Captain couldn't clear things up for him.
"True." She agreed with a smile and for a while neither said anything.
"Okay, my turn." Ahsoka said briskly, changing the subject. "Who was your first crush?" Fives froze and felt like his heart had skipped one beat. Or maybe four.
"What kind of question is that?" He asked, taken aback.
"A private one." She replied without a trace of shame. "Now tell me." Ahsoka prompted with an excited grin. Oh, she was bold.
Fives narrowed his eyes at her. He began to wonder if she was taking revenge for her lost secret. He wasn't comfortable with telling her that piece of information but was sure that avoiding it would only make the matter worse. At least she hadn't asked about his recent crush.
"When I was a cadet on Kamino, we were visited by this Jedi Master. She was supposed to supervise our training but often talked with us and tried to get to know us, which certainly exceeded her responsibilities." Fives deliberately avoided Ahsoka's gaze but could feel her attentive stare. He cleared his throat. "It was Shaak Ti." Fives said, feeling a blush rising to his cheeks. "But we all loved her. She was more of a… Celebrity crush." He concluded rapidly.
Fives couldn't believe that he actually had told her that. What life choices have led him to this moment? However, now that he thought about it, Shaak Ti was a Togruta and a Jedi. He really had a type, didn't he?
"Huh, so Tup really hadn't lied." Ahsoka said, although more to herself.
"Tup said what?" Fives turned to the girl immediately. His first reaction was astonishment but he slowly started feeling anger rising in him.
"Nothing you hadn't already." She shrugged with a pleased smile.
Fives was going to have a really serious conversation with his brother about sharing his personal information. He forced himself not to think what else Tup could've blurted out.
"Okay, then tell me who was your first crush." Fives challenged her.
"Back off, come up with your own question." Ahsoka huffed teasingly.
"There were no rules forbidding that." He argued.
"Are you really gonna look for gaps in the deal? That's childish." She said condescendingly.
"You're the one being possessive of a question." Fives pointed out and Ahsoka pouted.
"If you really have to know," She folded her arms over her chest. "There was one Jedi Master that I was particularly fond of as a youngling. We mostly had training with Master Yoda or Master Jocasta but…this one was special." Fives could see a sparkle in Ahsoka's eyes as she looked back at her memories. "She was so full of grace yet strength in the way she moved or talked that I couldn't recover from the admiration after each meeting." Ahsoka chuckled lightly. "So yeah, Shaak Ti was my first crush." She finished confidently. Fives thought about it for a second.
"That's really sweet but you have to come up with your own answer." He remarked softly and they both burst into laughter.
"It's good to know that we both have good taste." Ahsoka noted once their laughter settled down.
"I never doubted that." Fives chuckled, feeling the warmth caused by their laughter linger in his chest. "Come on, what's your next question?" He prompted, genuinely curious. Ahsoka bit her lip in thought.
"How did you get the scar on your left forearm? The one shaped like a crescent moon." She clarified when he didn't say anything right away. Fives knew exactly which scar Ahsoka was talking about, although the comparison to half-moon was something he had never thought of. What had taken him aback was how she knew about its existence. The mark was rather small and it's not like he was often wearing short sleeves.
"Nothing too special." He answered, trying not to show surprise in his voice. "It's a souvenir from my first mission on Ryloth. I happened to be too close to the mine when it went off. Shrapnel hit everything in its path." Fives' fingers traced the armour on his forearm where the scar lay underneath the plastoid. "That was when I learned that you can deflect metal shards single handedly, but only once."
"Great motto." Ahsoka nodded calmly. "They should write it in the regs." Fives huffed a laugh.
"Yeah, it turned out pretty reasonable." He chuckled.
Fives rolled his shoulders as his whole body became stiff from both the cold and being in one position for a long time. Now it was his turn but coming up with questions wasn't that easy if you couldn't steal them.
"Alright, I've got one." Fives spoke up. "I'm pretty sure that at this point I'm familiar with most of Togruti curses-"
"You're welcome." Ahsoka chimed in with a smile and theatrical modesty.
"But there is one phrase that still confuses me." Fives frowned, trying to recall the foreign words. "Naya da raner det va'hee saahori." Fives said slowly and uncertainly. He knew he screwed it up the moment Ahsoka burst into laughter.
"I know I'm not fluent but you could not make fun of me that openly." He grumbled.
"No, sorry. I wasn't laughing at your pronunciation, it was actually quite good." She praised him, trying to suppress her laughter. "I'm laughing because of their meaning. Naya da raner det va'hee saahori." Ahsoka repeated but from her mouth, it sounded ten thousand times better. "It means 'new day yet the same nonsense'." She explained calmly. Fives appreciated the poetry of the sentence but soon started analysing each situation in which he'd heard this phrase.
"You've been saying this a lot in my company." He noticed with a grain of salt in his voice.
"And I think it's very accurate." She nodded in recognition.
After that, Fives had to wait a long while for the next question. He even started suspecting she got bored by the game. Ahsoka was sitting silently, only her teeth chattered slightly, but once she spoke up, the sentence left her lips in one breath.
"Tell me something about you that I don't know." Her voice was calm and casual, she didn't even bat an eyelid.
"It's not really a question, you know." Fives pointed out, causing Ahsoka to roll her eyes.
"Do you really have to pick at everything I say?" She let out an exasperated sigh but, as if seeing him open his mouth even though he was wearing a helmet, she quickly added. "No, that's not the question. I already know the answer to this one." Ahsoka huffed and Fives laughed at her grumpy expression. "So, what is it about you that I don't know?" She said each word very slowly as if to emphasise that it was a question in every grammatical aspect.
"Last night I dreamt about pissed banthas chasing me around." He answered deadpan for which he received a nudge in the ribs.
"Fives." Ahsoka whined, annoyed.
"What? You knew that already?" He asked in dramatical astonishment. "Mind reader." Fives shook his head in disapproval.
"Come on." Ahsoka drew out the words and shuddered slightly. "I was perfectly honest to satisfy your curiosity." She argued, sending him a pointing look.
Fives sighed. She was somewhat right. But it wasn't like he wanted to wiggle out of answering, the deal was a deal, it's just that her question was tough. Quite intrusive too, if he was going to be fussy. Something she didn't know about him, huh…? There was one thing he kept secret, but Fives intended it to stay that way. Other than that…he didn't think there was anything worth mentioning. Fives wasn't one to hide things from others. Speaking his mind was one of the traits for which he was mainly known and often disciplined. Besides, life in the army, constantly surrounded by his brothers or under supervision didn't allow for much secrecy. So overall? Fives didn't like the question one bit.
"You'll have to be more specific. There are too many possibilities." He demanded jokingly after long deliberation, but Ahsoka did not laugh. "So unless you wanna hear about my caff preferences you might want to modify your question." He teased but she still remained silent. Fives frowned. "Soka?" He turned around so he could look her in the eye. Only that he couldn't as her blue orbs were covered under her eyelids. "Ahsoka? What's wrong?" An inarticulate mutter left her mouth and her body started tilting towards the ground. "Hey, hey, hey. Ahsoka? Wake up!" Fives grabbed her shoulders steadily so she wouldn't fall but there was still no reaction from her side. "Soka, look at me." He demanded.
"I am." She murmured wearily.
"No, you have to open your eyes." Fives said firmly milliseconds before her head dropped forward. He cupped her face with his palm, expecting her to flinch at his immediacy - it was highly inappropriate and way off the line. Fives would've chastised himself if he hadn't been so stressed out. But Ahsoka's cheek only leaned further into his hand. Her eyelashes were fluttering violently but never for long enough to let her fully focus her gaze on him.
Fives felt panic rising in his chest. What was going on? He's been watching the injury all the time, ensuring that it wouldn't start bleeding again. So if it wasn't for the wound then… Then the realisation hit him. And tremendous fear clenched his heart.
"Ahsoka, please don't tell me you're hypothermic."
"'m not. You are." She muttered indistinctly. Her body became even limper as if it was falling into a slumber, forcing Fives to tighten his grip on her shoulder.
"Kriff." Fives said angrily, hanging his head. "Karking, kriffing hell." He was cursing this damned planet, the Separatists, even the weather. But above all, he was cursing himself for not noticing earlier.
"Don't be rude." Ahsoka scolded him, not even able to keep her eyes open for the whole duration of her sentence.
"Sorry, Commander." Fives apologised softly, staring into the blue eyes which began falling close again. "You'll have to forgive me for this one too." He said quietly before sliding his hand behind her back and under her knees. Then, as gently as possible, he lifted her up and put her onto his lap.
Fives was certain he was violating some rules right now but that was the only thing he could do to prevent her from freezing to death. Plastoid was stopping his body heat from escaping the armour but Fives decided it was still better than the icy rocks which were emitting cold. He closed his arms around Ahsoka's figure, trying to shield her from frost as much as he could. She was drowsy and confused from the hypothermia so he didn't expect any rational reaction from her but a soft sigh of contentment was the last thing he anticipated.
"Fives…" She whispered softly.
"That's right, come on, look at me." He bore his eyes into hers, demanding them to stay open. Ahsoka was blinking violently, fighting to maintain her stare. "Good girl." Fives praised once her gaze locked on him. "You have to stay awake, okay?"
"Okay." Ahsoka agreed obediently in a small voice.
"Great. Great." Fives nodded vehemently which had more to do with comforting himself than anything else.
Ahsoka was trembling violently, her arms pressed against his chest, seeking any warmth they could get. Fives was tightening his hold around her when it dawned upon him that he was practically hugging Ahsoka. One of his biggest desires was fulfilled in the worst possible scenario. Galaxy really was using every given opportunity to mock his feelings. It was yet another thing to curse at. Fives could have started swearing mentally, but the body in his arms went limp and began to slip out of his grasp.
"Whoa, don't do that." He reprimanded her in a tight voice which was thickly layered with fear. Fives had to fix his hold on Ahsoka as her heavy limbs escaped his embrace. "You can't fall asleep. We had a deal, didn't we?"
"Yeah." She breathed out a small puff of mist. Her eyelids were rising and falling in sync with her chest.
"Yeah, exactly." Fives repeated, trying to maintain Ahsoka's attention. He had to somehow keep her conscious, prevent her mind from drifting away. "I still haven't answered your question." Fives reminded her. "And since you went as far as hypothermia to blackmail me, I have no choice but to answer." He intended to say it playfully but the shakiness of his voice spoiled the effect.
He was thinking hard about what he could actually tell her. Something she didn't know. Fives looked at her pale face. Rare as he had the opportunity, he always adored submerging in Ahsoka's blue irises. The warmth and kindness emanating from them were making him wonder how a person could be that kind and compassionate. Now, the same irises quivered, futilely trying to keep her gaze on him.
"Sometimes…" Fives started slowly, knowing that it was his last chance to back out and say something different. "I get scared."
"I don't believe it." She chimed in and a faint smile appeared on her face.
"I said sometimes." A soft chuckle escaped Ahsoka's lips. Fives let the sound warm his heart before he cleared his throat and went on. "Anyway. There are moments when I feel helpless. I can deal with wicked tasks but once things are out of my hands… It terrifies me." Fives took a deeper, shuddered breath. "So I have a mantra which, at this point, my mouth speaks involuntarily without me even noticing. Just something to occupy my head." It wasn't easy to say it out loud. The fact that it was Ahsoka who listened was as comforting as it was stressful. Fives didn't want her to know how weak he was and kinda hoped that her confused mind would let this new piece of information slip away. "I know I'm not much of a storyteller but you could at least try to pretend that you're listening." He admonished Ahsoka jokingly when her gaze started losing focus.
"I am, I am." She muttered softly.
"Uh-huh." Fives hummed sarcastically. "Either way, if you ever see me mumbling mindlessly, then I'm not crazy yet, just… struggling." He mocked, trying to diminish whatever gibberish he'd said. However, his joke didn't find favour with his audience. Ahsoka searched for his eyes behind the dark visor and said calmly.
"You don't have to struggle alone."
Fives stared at her, not able to utter a word. He was completely taken aback. Ahsoka held her gaze for a moment longer, then rested her cheek back on his chest. She either took his silence as an end of the discussion or she didn't have the strength to continue it right now.
"I know." Fives finally replied, though his voice betrayed uncertainty.
"Uh-huh." Ahsoka mimicked his hum, closed her eyes and nuzzled against him.
Fives exhaled slowly. He felt a shudder running down his spine but it wasn't caused by the cold. How could he not love this woman? With each word, Ahsoka was reminding him again and again why he'd fallen for her. She was making it really hard for him to get a hold of his emotions and Fives didn't notice when his palm clenched slightly tighter around Ahsoka's arm.
"I think now it's-" He broke in the middle of a sentence as the girl's eyes hadn't opened. "Soka?" A shallow breath left her mouth but wasn't followed by any inhale. "Ahsoka, please, don't fall asleep." He was rubbing her arm as if an additional impulse could pull her out of slumber. "No no no no no." Fives tried shaking her shoulder some more but there was no reaction. With a trembling hand, he reached to her neck and pressed two fingers on her pulse point. "You can't die." He barely choked out the word. "You still have to grant my wish, remember?" Terror pounding in his ears handicapped him from sensing the pulse but it was there. Although weak and slow, her heart was still beating.
Nevertheless, no matter the demands or threats, Ahsoka wouldn't open her eyes again. After a river of pleas and prayers, Fives finally gave up on waking her up. His palm stayed firmly pressed to her neck where he could guard her pulse. This confirmation that she was alive will have to suffice.
Then his own thoughts rang back in his head. 'Standing with her at arm's length will have to be enough' - how could he think something like that? Selfishly wishing for something he could never ask for. Just now she was in his embrace but it was all wrong. Greed must've blinded him because Ahsoka simply living was more than enough; standing beside her was more than he deserved. Fives wished it was him, wished he was once again dying in her arms. Meeting his end in her embrace would actually be the best way to go. But it shouldn't be her. And it won't.
Suddenly, a noise reverberated through the icy walls and it seemed to grow louder. Firstly all sounds were lumped together into one turmoil. But after a while, Fives was able to distinguish the engines' uproar, someone's shouts and the tumbling of the snow. He let out a relieved breath; so they finally came. Snow started sliding towards them as the troopers dug from the outside. Fives put his hand under Ahsoka's knees and secured his grip on her back. Sounds from the other side intensified, allowing him to catch single words shouted between the soldiers.
"Almost over." He whispered to Ahsoka, brushing against her pulse point. Fives got up on his wobbly legs but then abruptly stopped. Just like Ahsoka's heartbeat.
Fives was paralysed. He was standing on shaking legs with a back hunched over a lifeless body, shielding it from the snow falling from the entrance. Troopers were getting closer, but still not close enough. Fives clutched Ahsoka in desperation, completely helpless, unable to do anything.
"Fear not for the future, weep not for the past." Breathless whispers mindlessly left his mouth. "Fear not for the future, weep not…" Fives' lips were moving on their own, breaking out of his control. His heart hammered in his chest, empty words looped and clumped together in an incomprehensible mess.
A rough clash sounded behind him and a beam of light fell into the cave, straight onto the frozen puddle of blood from a few hours ago.
"She's not breathing!" A sharp shout broke from Fives' throat. He rushed towards the rescue team but Skywalker found him first. A group of medics surrounded him and pulled Ahsoka from Fives' firm grip. His arms hung limply at his sides while his head felt like it could explode at any second. There were too many voices speaking one through another. "...not for the past…" A stretcher, oxygen mask, too many people trying to lead him towards the gunship, yet stopping him from running to her. "Fear not…" Hail was smashing against his armour as fierce wind hurled the gunships, making it almost impossible for the pilots to maintain the machines in an upright position.
Fives was forced by strong hands to take his seat. People were asking him questions he didn't care to reply - he answered enough of them for the day. He only wanted to know what was happening to Ahsoka. The ship moved into the air, engines roared just like the medics who tried to bring the Commander back to life.
"Fear not for the…" Fives muttered silently, his throat completely torn from screams he couldn't remember. The future. But without Ahsoka, there was no future.