I was fine before I met you
I was broken but fine
I was lost and uncertain
But my heart was still mine
I was free before I met you
I was broken but free
All alone in the clear view, but now you are all I see
Why'd you have to go and make me like you?

-"Make Me Like You" by Gwen Stafani

Watching blood run down my arms and hands into a porcelain sink always gave me a sort of bittersweet feeling; it was like watching the fruits of my labor drain away to be forgotten. Normally, and I already feel like a sick bastard for this but whatever, i'd let it sit there until it dried. Until the metallic scent of iron assaulted my crinkling nose. I didn't want to forget it… the rush of endorphin, the high, all of it; I wanted to remain in that haze for as long as possible.

Not this time.

This time I couldn't wait to slam open the door of my motel room, and the sound my boots made on the shitty carpet pissed me off because it wasn't fast enough. But I didn't run, I wasn't that far gone yet. I finally made it to the bathroom where I could flip the hot water nozzle and watch as the red stains on my hands were scalded away. I wanted her gone- every bit, every essence. Just the thought of those purple doe eyes looking up at me made me want to puke. They weren't good enough.

They weren't brown.

They weren't his.

"The fuck is happenin' to me…" It's spoken through gritted teeth as my fists moved to grip the sides of the sink. The water was still running but I didn't care. My breathing was coming faster and faster and I've never had a panic attack before but I was starting to feel like that's what this was. I tried to swallow the suddenly large lump in my throat but nothing happened. I couldn't shake the overwhelming sense of anxiety taking hold of me, and as my fingers started to feel as if they're going numb, I lifted a clenched fist and let it fly into the mirror. The sound of the glass shattering around me helped drown out my thoughts.

I wasn't going crazy. At least, I didn't think so. My body was just trying to tell me what it needed and it seemed like for once in my miserable fucking life I wasn't listening. No, instead I was laying under the stars and talking about shit that didn't matter with some asshole who kicked a soccer ball in my direction and lit a fire in me with those eyes of his.

Why didn't I kill him already?

Why wasn't it his blood on my hands?

Would it be over too quick?

That night I couldn't sleep for shit. Images of Kurosaki kept running like a movie being projected onto the backs of my eyelids. I wanted him so bad I could hardly stand it. Wanted him under me, on top of me, every which way I could have him. Before I realized it, I was hard as a god damn rock, and my hips were moving up against the thin bed sheet, begging for some kind of friction. I groaned, not wasting any time in slipping a hand beneath the elastic of my boxers to grip myself and, fuck, I could already feel precum at the head of my dick. It was pathetic, I thought as I began to beat my cock like it owed me money, that the only way I could get off anymore was through thoughts of him. But I wasn't going to back down from my policy, not now and not ever. If your instincts told you to do something, you fucking do it. That's what I was trying to hold onto.

My breathing was getting harsher as my hand moved out to blindly search for my phone. Once I grabbed it and unlocked the screen, I didn't even think about the time as I hit call under Kurosaki's name. I needed to hear his voice. After the third ring, he picked up, and his voice sounded thick with sleep.

"Mm..Grimm..? S'up..?" Just hearing even mundane words in his beautiful tenor had my dick twitching in my hand, and I groaned low into the receiver.

"Were ya sleepin', Strawberry?" I could hear the catch of breath in his throat the moment he heard my voice.

"Y-yeah...kinda." He hesitated a bit, taking a slight pause before continuing. "It's 3am after all."

I let another groan slip from my lips, reverberating into the phone and it's almost like I could hear Kurosaki freezing up as he realized he wasn't imagining the noise the first time. "My bad. Can't sleep, and I was hopin' you'd be up to tirin' me out."

"Are- are you..?" I rolled my eyes.

"Jackin' off? Welcome to the fuckin' conversationt." Hey, I never claimed to be the most romantic guy on the block. And it wasn't my fault Kurosaki could be as dense as a bag of rocks. He was clamming up. I knew it. I could tell by the subtle sound of him licking his lips and swallowing. Could hear a rustle through the phone as he fidgeted. Jesus Christ, this guy got flustered over the most mundane shit, didn't he?

"And you thought of me..?" His question sort of caught me off guard. Mostly because I was kind of starting to figure he wasn't going to say anything, but also because yeah...I did. He was all I could fucking think about. Day in and day out- but it wasn't like I was gonna be caught dead saying something like that.

"Surprised?" Was the response I liked better. And I dropped my voice even lower, the way I knew he liked it. "Y'know I think yer sexy as all hell." The hitch in his breath was there again. Followed by a harder exhale.

"Grimm…" He was unsure. Still. God, this kid really needed to let go sometimes.

"C'mon Ichi, don't leave me hangin'. Or-" I smirked. "Are ya really too embarrassed? I've already fucked ya." I could almost hear the blush come to life on his face.

"I-it's not the same, asshole! Excuse me for having some shame!" I rolled my eyes at the scolding, knowing damn well he was getting hard from this anyways.

"Kurosaki, yer ruinin' the damn mood." I paused, brow raised as if he could see me. "Just shut the fuck up and touch yer dick for me, yeah?" Another groan from my end. "Or i'm gonna finish listenin' to you tell me off, an' yer gonna be left high and dry." When I moaned again, I could have sworn I heard a whine. That's what I wanted to hear.

"Fine, alright...hang on." I could hear him shifting around, no doubt in his bed since he'd been asleep before I called. I took the opportunity to keep talking to him.

"You hard already, Strawberry?" I heard him gasp, and smirked as a slight pause stretched out between us. After he took more than a beat to answer, and since it's common knowledge that I'm about as patient as fire is frozen, I spoke again. "I know my voice gets ya off real good. You thinkin' about my hand on yer cock?" That, finally, got the responses rolling.

"Shit...fuck…" His breathing was coming more incessant now, and holy mother of god hearing him moan into my ear sent a jolt of heat right to my groin. It wasn't as good as hearing him up close and personal, but right now i'd take what I could get.

"That's it, Ichi… Go faster, yeah? Y'know I ain't gentle." He gasped and sounded like he was choking on a groan. I could almost see it, too. How his eyebrows got all furrowed, how his lips hung open, how those fucking gorgeous brown eyes of his glazed over like they barely even saw me.

"Gr...ah, fuck… Grimmjow..!" I moved my hand faster, a low growl sounding from my chest. For some reason, hearing Kurosaki say my name like that set off the deepest primal urges I could think of. Well- about as deep as my 'past time', or as deep as i get when I'm buried to the hilt in his tight ass…

What snapped me back to the conversation was Kurosaki's voice getting even more frantic than it always was, I sped up alongside him.

"You...better be close, asshole… Ah- f-fuck..!" I couldn't help but smirk at the comment.

"Why? You gonna cum already?" My voice was low and teasing, I could hear that Kurosaki's breathing was to the point where he wouldn't be able to talk back to me even if he tried. Hearing him like that, though...all it did was make my dick twitch in my hands. Yeah, I was about to blow my load just as fast as him, but it wasn't like he had to know that. He didn't need to know what he did to me because I had no intention of thinking about it. Instead of waiting for an actual response, I continued. "Shit, I bet yer so damn hard for me… I'd rather be fuckin' that face a'yers right now…" He gasped, as if those simple slutty words were enough to toss him over the edge. And I liked thinking about that, about how Kurosaki got off on being dominated more than he liked to admit. It worked out just fine for me. Perfect, even. He was…

"Grimm...ah, shit..! Grimmjow..!"

Kurosaki always had the habit of making me see every constellation in the goddamn sky behind my eyes when I came. But since that's probably the gayest thing I've ever admitted, he doesn't need to know that either. Instead, I just growled deep into the phone, feeling the convulsions work their way through my body as if a coil had wound itself up in ecstasy only to explode through me.

When he spoke next, I couldn't help but smirk, though my eyes were closed now as I tried to get my breathing back to normal.

"You tired enough now, pervert?" Kurosaki yawned, and the sound faded out into a soft chuckle.

"Guess so. Only 'cause you ain't here for me to fuck into oblivion." He laughed again, and the sound was like this deep throaty tenor that threatened to make me hard all over again.

"Your stamina should be illegal, y'know." He yawned again.

"Why, 'cause it's way past your bedtime and you can't hang?" I was grinning now.

"Oh, fuck off."

"Already did." I paused. "I'll let'cha get yer beauty rest."

"Good." He hesitated, I could feel it. "You...uh, wanna hang out tomorrow? Or something..?"

"Aw, miss me already, Strawberry?" I was teasing, like I always did. He knew that. So I wasn't expecting his answer in the slightest.

"So what if I do?"

That tripped me up, sobered my expression. The entirety of the scenario sunk in at that moment. I was a killer by nature, a guy who got off on gutting sorry sacks of shit who were begging for their lives. But here I was, on the phone at fuck knows what hour, talking to a guy who missed me. It was weird. It made me feel uneasy.

Mostly because I didn't dislike it.

"Then I guess I'll have to make time, yeah?"

Lately, the beeping sound my door makes when it opens has been grating on my very last fucking nerve. I didn't give a shit if someone was coming in or not, why the hell did I have to be notified again?

I was glaring away from the door, my eyes nothing more than slits as my teeth ground together. I didn't know how long i'd been in this new room, the one they shoved me into after the little affair with Szayel. It had this bullshit excuse for a bed that my wrists and ankles were shackled to. I mean, I didn't even get piss breaks anymore and before it's even asked, I am not gonna get started on fucking catheters because it's degrading as all hell. Anyways, I don't get much more time to think about shit I didn't want to talk about because Starrk is coming into the room. His arms are crossed but there's a raise to one of his brows as if he's appraising something that might surprise him. I don't know how I feel about it.

"Take a picture, asshole. It'll last longer." Is the genius response I manage to grit out. Ever since they put me in this place (the new room), I've been getting more and more irritated by the day. And not a single person on the goddamn planet would have any room to judge me for that.

"You seem aggravated." That's all he says. And since when did he become Sherlock fucking Holmes, that's what I wanna know. But I don't ask that because it'll just take up more energy to talk and even being borderline pissed is draining.

"Probably 'cause I am, genius," I start, leaning my head back against the wall. "M' so fuckin' sick of this place. Goin' damn near crazy in here." And I shit you not, Starrk actually had the balls to laugh at that comment, though it was stifled with a fist to his mouth and an aversion of his eyes. I slit open an eye to glare at him but he's already gotten himself under control, which is good because I didn't want to have to deal with wanting to kill this guy right now.

"Well, I have good news for you, then-" He paused, tilting his head. "At least, it's good if you're going stir crazy." I cock an eyebrow at him, waiting for him to continue. Luckily, he does pretty soon after. "You've been approved for group sessions."

"Aw hell no. No fuckin' way I wanna go play Pow-Wow Feelings Time with the nut jobs in here and Tits For Brains." It wasn't that I'd rather stay in this piece of shit room for even a second longer than necessary or anything, but I'd walked by on my piss breaks during group sessions before. Hell, I'd even had to endure a couple of them before they got smart enough to separate me from everyone else in this place. It all went the same: the group coordinator, Neliel, always thought we all needed to find the root of our issues. She thought if everyone got out their own bitchy sob story and cried or some shit that we'd calm down and become normal members of society again. It pissed me off for more reasons than I cared to count, but the main one was the fact that she thought there was something wrong with me. I always said this, but I'd say it again just for the sake of explanation: the only thing wrong with the way I did shit was the fact that I didn't give two fucks about what anyone else thought about it.

Not anyone else.

I scowled. Starrk was talking again and there was no time to think about how somehow, in my gut, I felt like that last bit was a lie.

"I'm aware of how you feel about them, Grimmjow," He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Don't even think you deserve it after what you pulled with Granz but- the staff is nervous about coming into your room, and I can't be your babysitter. So, we're going to try the sessions again, and if you can behave then you might get your old room back. Sound solid?" I thought about it for a second, not like I had much option anyways but hey, can't blame a guy for acting. I guessed, in the grand scheme of shit, it would be entertaining in the least. And it had been a while since I'd had the opportunity to talk with anyone besides this guy. Even still, I frowned when I answered.

"Alright. But it better not be bullshit."

Plot Twist: It's always bullshit.

The second I was able to stand up (with Starrk on my left, and a big burly asshole on my right) I almost went right back down. In my defense, I hadn't walked in a few weeks, give or take, and if my quads were pathetic before they were an absolute fucking joke now. I gritted my teeth, glaring down at my feet and the cold tile floor beneath them. I hated this: the confinement, yeah sure, but above anything else was the weakness. I couldn't stand being skin and bones, wasting away in a place where I couldn't be who I was. It was that anger that kept me upright as we made our way down the hall, and as soon as Starrk decided I was doing a good enough job, he told the other guy to beat it. Think his name's Yammy, or some stupid shit like that. Fitting, considering I didn't even have to be around the guy for five minutes to know he was dumb as a sack of rocks.

"How do you feel?" Starrk's talking again, and his voice is tentative yet steady. I know he means about walking down the hall but I can't help the knee-jerk irritation at being asked that. It reminds me of Pinky, the shrink who needed to fucking die already. I glared at him before looking back ahead of us.

"Just fuckin' peachy." We were nearing the end of the hall.

"Grimmjow," His voice was warning, no doubt about to spew some B.S that I didn't want to listen to. "Remember to behave." I didn't get a chance to respond considering the tail-end of his sentence was the exact moment Neliel decided to make her unwanted appearance. She popped her head out around the corner of the hall like a cat who'd just been alerted to a sound, long waves of seafoam green hair falling into view. It was weird. She was weird. Her honey-colored eyes widened when she saw me, bringing the rest of her into view as she bounced over to us. Well, her tits bounced, at least.

"Uwahh, Grimmy's come out to play. Hmm?" Reaching up, she pinched one of my cheeks between her fingers, tugging and pushing it to look like I had a lopsided smile on my face. I was gonna kill her. Right then. First off, for being so damn annoying, and second off, for touching me at all. My hand lifted up, following the curl of my upper lip that had the half of my face which wasn't being assaulted turning into a snarl.

"Fuckin' Bit- " Starrk grabbed her wrist and mine before I could finish the thought. But he was looking at her instead of me.

"Nel. You should know better than to play around like this." I tried to yank my wrist away from him as he spoke, but his grip was too tight, and unfortunately for the situation, that only made me more pissed. She only looked at him with those eyes of hers, it looked innocent enough, but I didn't buy it. Never did. I'd seen her serious, and let me tell you right now, Neliel was far from being as weak as the brat she acted like. Too bad for both of us that I would've gotten into it with her regardless of that. Thing was, she was probably stuck up enough to provoke me into it anyways. I hated that about her.

"Don't worry, Starrk." Her voice had leveled out as she turned to me, and my gaze narrowed in response. I knew that look. It was the one that had her view coming at me from down her nose, the one that said she thought she was better than me. I felt my blood boil. "Grimmjow isn't an idiot." It was an insult laced with a compliment, but I didn't want shit to do with it.

"Don't be so sure," I smirked in what felt like the first time in a damn century. "Got myself locked up in this shit-hole, didn't I?" And even though the reason I was here went so much deeper than my own stupidity, the joke got Starrk to let go of me, after giving me a hard stare for a solid three seconds. Neliel brightened a bit in response.

"Aww, don't be so hard on yourself, Grimmy! Come on, come on, let's go now!" Turning on her heel, my upper lip curled back as I watched her bound away, expecting me to follow. It'd have been easy as fuck to kill her right then. I'd just have to put about ten feet's worth of distance between Starrk and I, get my fingers around her throat… I was probably still strong enough to crush a windpipe, just maybe not in record time anymore. But that would look like shit on my already spotty record, feel me? So I didn't follow her because I wanted to by any fucking means, I did it because like I said before, I was gonna get out of here.

I was gonna see him again…

I was gonna finish what I'd started…

And I'd make sure Kurosaki paid for being the reason I got locked up.

Coming around the corner has my eyes squinting slightly because it's so damn bright. Everything about this place was unnatural, that went without saying. But in the main room of the place there was this giant window with light pouring in over the linoleum floor; it was white, all of it was. I lifted my hand a bit to shield my eyes as I squinted.

Even though it was pissing me off, I still hadn't seen actual sunlight in longer than I cared to think about. How long had it been since I'd seen any part of the outside? Since I felt the sun on my face? Or breeze in my hair? I glanced over, away from the window, to see a couch and some sporadically placed tables, each with a few people seated around them. Some I recognized, some I didn't, but either way I didn't bother with any sort of greeting because I was too busy walking over to where the light poured in, putting my hand up to the glass, it felt warm.

Outside still looked like bullshit though, just like everything else in this meager fucking life. Not that I thought I'd see anything super interesting when I looked out, but hey, I just had to check.

"Well, well, well, if it ain't the Kitty himself." The nickname had me freezing, lip already curling back as I turned to see who was stupid enough to say some shit like that to me. The only one who used the name and got away with it wouldn't be caught dead in a place like this, and besides, the voice was different. Light, but still deep somehow. And when my eyes finally landed on him, I scowled. First off, the guy was pale as fuck- and I'm talking like, he had albinism or something. Next were his eyes, gold except the whites were blacked out. Tattoo'd, I thought. I'd heard of people who were Next Level enough to try that stupid shit, but I never thought I'd actually see it. Worst of all, if I didn't know any better, I'd say he looked like someone took Kurosaki's face and tweaked the colors and features a bit to get this guy. Or maybe that was because I was coming to the conclusion that I was still more than obsessed with him. Did I mention his hair was white too? Damn. Weird. Anyways, after I took in how freaky he was, I spoke up, straightening my back as I did so.

"Where the fuck did you hear that name, you piece of shit?" My voice didn't leave room for wondering if I'd knock someone's teeth in or not. And I would. No matter how long I spent in this hellhole, I'd never lose that part of me. Freaky Fuckface just laughed, and the sound had the hairs on my arms standing on end. It was weird, tinny almost, and definitely not coming from a guy who was sane. Then again, taking in where we were, it shouldn't have been surprising.

"Ne, ne- don't get'cher panties all up in'a bunch! I've heard about'cha is all." My eyes narrowed. I wasn't amused.

"Oh yeah? From who?" Not that I really gave a shit.

"Gilga. When you got locked up he kept talkin' about how much'uva fuckup ya were. Seemed real upset. Said he was gonna miss ya." He laughed again.

"Bullshit. The only thing Nnoi'll miss is havin' someone who put up with his fucked up ass." Thinking about Nnoitra made me even more irritated than I already was with this conversation. It wasn't anything to cry over, but there was no denying that the asshole was probably the closest thing I'd ever had to a friend. We got into shit together, we fucked up. But he always had my back. Three years. I wondered if he'd been put away too before I snapped out of it from Whitey talking again.

"Ha! He said you had jokes. But seriously, how's that guy, huh? You still see him?" My gaze turned lethal in a millisecond. "He still yer boyfriend?" He grinned, I cracked my knuckles.

"Keep it up. I'll fuckin' kill you in yer seat." I glanced around, having lowered my voice to not alert the nurses around us. They were looking already from the guy's laugh earlier, but maybe I'd have enough time to get in a good punch before they got to us.

"Just like ya were gonna kill Kuro-" Luckily for his life, a guy with long blond hair cut him off mid-sentence.

"Shirosaki, do you really have no regard for your life?" I looked back over my shoulder at him as he spoke.

"And who the fuck're you?" I waited, his lips curled up slightly.

"Ylfordt Granz, it's a pleasure to finally meet you." I didn't know what the fuck that meant, but the last name didn't go without my notice.

"Granz, huh?"

"Yes. And no, the last name isn't a coincidence. Szayel is my brother," He paused. "Well, biologically anyway."

"Great family." Sarcasm. Shirosaki (I guess that's his name) spoke up again.

"In here, ain't I? Who the fuck cares what happens to me now?" He laughed again, and if he hadn't been seconds away from saying the name that would have ended his life, I would have almost wanted to agree with him. Neliel came back into the room from wherever the hell she went, humming a song I didn't recognize to herself. Sometimes I forgot that she was basically a shrink like Szayel, mostly because she didn't piss me off quite as bad, and she never wrote shit about me on a clipboard that I didn't get to see. She did other shit though, like make us tell stories about our childhood, stupid shit like that. What the hell did my mom have to do with why I was in here? I didn't get it. But maybe her methods have changed by now because like I said, I'd been in solitary for almost three years.

She glanced over at me for a second and if her question hadn't have caught me off guard, I would have asked her what the fuck she was looking at.

"Grimmjow...when was the last time you had a haircut?" I deadpanned.

" Huh? The fuck kinda question is that? Ain't exactly keepin' up to date on my beauty routine in here, y'know." Her finger raised, tapping her lower lip in thought. I mean I guess my hair was longer. I never really paid attention now that I didn't have to gel the shit up everyday.

"Mmm it's just long now. Almost to your shoulders. We should have it cut for you! I'm sure it'd make you feel better, at least a little…" She keeps droning on, something about me having a handsome face if I wasn't scowling all the time. But I stopped listening. The only thing I can think about right now is my hair, now that she mentioned it. And not because I'm some super vain douchebag, but because I remember the last haircut I had. It was weird, the little shit you remember, the little shit that sticks with you. But I don't think I'd ever forget Kurosaki coming at me with a pair of scissors.

"Just hold still, asshole!" Kurosaki's trying to be stern, but he's laughing too, so it's not working out for him too well. If I weren't getting pissed off, I would have laughed with him, probably. But the fact of the matter is I definitely don't trust him coming near my face with scissors, and he's telling me to calm down as if I should. I swatted at his arm again.

"Then fuck off with those! The hell's wrong with my hair anyways!?" I grabbed the wrist that held his weapon of choice, raising a brow when he frowned at me.

"It's getting really long, that's what!" It was not. Hell, I'd only known the guy for like two months. How long could hair get in that timespan?

"No, it ain't."

"It looks messy." He wasn't gonna give up.

"Looks sexy you mean." Kurosaki reached up, sliding his fingers through my hair and messing it up a bit, but he was smiling like he actually thought my over-confidence was funny.

"Yeah, but it's also messy. Just quit complaining and let me cut it for you!" I shook my hold on his wrist, trying to get him to lose grip of the scissors. He laughed louder, tugging on my hair in retaliation. Finally, I smirked.

"Oi, that's just gonna turn me on, then yer really not gonna have the chance to cut it." Leaning closer, I captured his lips with my own. And I know, it looks like I've gotten all domestic and shit, but you can fuck off with that. I was distracting him, that's all. Distracting his stupid plump lips, and his stupid gorgeous smile...his stupid freckles…

Goddamn, I was in deep.

Kurosaki left my hair alone in favor of wrapping that arm around my neck, trying to pull me closer. His mouth melded against mine, a sigh breaking the kiss for just a moment, but I was impatient, and started kissing down his jaw instead. His breath hitched.

"I-if you let me cut your hair, I'll blow you." I could almost feel the heat radiating off his cheeks from his own comment, and snickered in response.

"I could get'cha to do that anyways." Sucking on the sensitive skin of his neck, Ichigo moaned softly, his fingers grabbing at the fabric of my shirt. I let go of his wrist, moving my hand down to his hip. It was getting heating, but that was nothing knew. Fuck, he was so sexy…

At the very millisecond that I let my guard down, Kurosaki reached up, grabbing a lock of my hair before I could realize and chopping with those fucking scissors. I yanked back.

"Oi- what the fuck!?" And I would've been pissed. Of course I would've been. But when I saw Kurosaki's face with a giant smug ass grin plastered on it, I just couldn't find it in me.

"Gonna let me cut it now?" He was trying not to laugh. I smirked.

"Not before I kill ya." So, I didn't think about the words I decided to use, sue me. Instead, I tackled Kurosaki back onto his bed, which is really fucking dangerous considering he was still holding the scissors, but whatever. My hands attacked his sides, tickling over his ribs and causing the hottest laughter to erupt from his chest.

"Grimm-! Hahaa! S-stop! Fuck, knock it off!" He was pushing at my chest, I trapped him with my hips pressing down against his own, causing him to moan a bit when he tried to fight against me. I lowered my lips to neck, a low growl reverberating.

"It's fuckin' hot to watch you struggle like this. Can't get up?" My hands stopped their movement, in favor of pinning one of Kurosaki's wrists above his head. He tilted his head back, hips pressing up against mine.

"So you're a sadist, huh?" He was grinning, I wasn't.

"Y'got no idea, Strawberry." My other hand moved up, fingers curling around his neck. I could feel his pulse against the pad of my thumb and it made my cock ache in my jeans. I could do it here. Wasn't a soul else in the house besides us. First time at Kurosaki's and I had expected to see that raven-haired girl from before, but his old man was at work, sisters were at a friends. No one would hear him scream except me…

Kurosaki surprised me again by staring up at me with eyes that were full of lust instead of fear. He leaned up and kissed me and that really fucked with my head because the action was soft. It was deliberate, but tender in this weird way that I wasn't used to. None of this was what I was used to. He smirked.

"I might be able to get into that for you." I didn't know who was the bigger idiot here, him or me.

"How far would ya let me go?" He didn't know what I meant. He didn't know the threshold I was talking about. But it didn't matter because his free hand's fingers threaded into my hair and pulled me into a deeper kiss. I didn't know how the fuck I could insinuate whether or not Kurosaki was gonna let me kill him while kissing him at the same time, but my life had never really gone by the books. His eyes were on mine, they were deep and intense, and there was something else there that I couldn't place.

"Depends, you gonna let me cut your hair?"

I like him. I thought, as I pushed myself up off of him, finally giving in to his weird desire to be a barber. And it was that moment that I really knew I was fucked, but I didn't realize it back then. I didn't think about how that slippery slope of fucking around with Kurosaki Ichigo had quickly turned into a downhill fucking ski-race. And I was losing ground fast.

I really fuckin' like him...

A/N: Well, it's been a while, huh? I'm not sure why, but this chapter was really difficult for me to write. Maybe because I felt like it's sort of a lull point in the story, so I tried to throw in some good stuff to make it worth it. Next chapter's going to be a hell of a ride, and I'm already a little sorry for it. Here's to hoping I get it out quicker. As always, thank you to everyone who's been with me on the journey of writing this. Let me know how I'm doing3