"Last time on Total Drama Island! Through a series of daunting tasks and food filled punishments, the Bass and Gophers had to stay up for as long as possible in our patented Awake-a-thon challenge!" Chris starts, footage of the campers running to the mess hall and the Killer Bass famishoused after devouring the feast made as a punishment, followed by footage of several campers falling asleep or struggling to stay awake.
"During the course of the challenge, pretty boy Justin and nasty manipulator Heather feuded over who got to steal Eva's airpod case, Courtney got herself into hot water again, and Gwen and Trent shared a moment together. Aww, how sweet." He mocks, giving a short chuckle. We're shown these moments in a montage.
"At the end of the day, it didn't matter who took Eva's case, since it was returned and she was eliminated. Trent took home the win, and maybe even Gwen's heart. Okay, enough romance."
The camera feed focuses on McLean standing on the dock of shame, holding a dodgeball next to Chef. "Today isn't about hugs and kisses; today is about sport. The most painful sport of all: dodgeball." He chucks the ball at Chef, but it makes no impact on him. Chef narrows his eyes and growls at him. "Uh.. hehe, w-will the Gophers triumph over the Bass again? Will Duncan forgive Geoff for socking him in the face?" Chef throws the dodgeball back at Chris, knocking him down after hitting him in the face.
"Ah! Dude, not the face!" Chef chuckles at his misery. Chris stands up, dusting himself off. "Find out right here, right now on…
Total.
Drama.
Island!"
The theme song plays over an intro sequence.
The first shot depicts Wawanakwa in full, leading up to a giant cliff and zooming past McLean as he sips a coffee before diving into the water below the cliff.
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doing fine.
You guys are on my mind.
We see Ezekiel under water, watching Geoff and Bridgette with a downtrodden look on his face, both of which are staring longingly into each other's eyes until an eagle picks Geoff up by his shoulders and carries him off. Bridgette tries to reach for him, watching him fly away with concern.
You asked me what I wanted to be and now I think the answer is plain to see
I wanna be famous.
The eagle drops Geoff down as it soars past the sun. He falls down a few tree branches before landing in DJ's arms, who seconds prior was enjoying nature and the copious animals around him. The animals get violent and attack as soon as their peace is disturbed. DJ and Geoff scream as the former runs with the latter in his arms away from the vicious animals.
Duncan laughs hysterically at the scene, but Courtney glares at him with disapproval, causing him to stop.
I wanna live close to the sun
So pack your bags cause I already won.
Heather is in a canoe with Beth and LeShawna going down the stream. Beth is in the middle, trying to separate the two from dueling. The canoe ends up careening off of the stream and down a waterfall, which makes the teens fall to the water below, passing by Harold as he practices a few fighting poses on a dangerously positioned log overlooking the falls. As he stretches his arms and legs out in a dorky position, Izzy swings in on a vine and knocks into him, bumping directly into an outhouse housing Lindsay, who falls out with her skirt around her ankles.
Everything to prove
Nothing in my way
I'll get there one day
Cause I wanna be famous.
Inside the mess hall kitchen, we see Chef preparing some disgusting green soup with his bare hand dipped into the pot. He looks behind him at a tied up Owen and Noah, both looking petrified of whatever Chef is concoting for them. In the mess hall itself, Eva arm wrestles Tyler, easily beating him and dislocating his arm.
Outside on the beach, Sadie and Katie coo over Justin, who is looking at himself in between two mirrors. He winks at one, his teeth glistening.
Na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
We get a good look at the polluted, muggy, teal waters of Wawanakwa, a few seagulls fighting over a cellphone. Katie swims for it, with Sadie watching from the sand anxiously, but the skinny brown clone of her best friend ends up being terrorized by a shark and swims back to shore as fast as she can.
I wanna be, I wanna be
I wanna be famous!
Back on the dock of shame, we see Justin strut to the edge before ripping his shirt off, water from the shark splashing towards Katie drenching his perfectly chiseled muscles. He flexes as the camera goes up and transitions from day to night, then comes back down at the campfire ceremony.
I wanna be, I wanna be
I wanna be famous!
Trent is playing his guitar for Gwen, who is entranced by him. He leans forward, a warm smile on his face. As they inch closer, Cody gets between them and places a hand on both of their shoulders, smiling dorkily. The rest of the cast whistles the chorus of the theme song as the camera zooms out to capture them all sitting around the bonfire. The logo appears above them.
Total Drama Island:
The Creeps Cut
Created by Voice_From_Under_The_Covers and Crimson Candy.
The episode begins with both teams in the mess hall, all sitting down for breakfast: a white paste with the scent of elmer's glue. Everyone appears to be much less tired than they were yesterday, with the exception of Trent, who's asleep next to Gwen and LeShawna, Geoff, who's barely keeping himself awake next to DJ, and Duncan, nursing his black eye. His teammates can't help but stare at the new purple mark on the delinquent, so when he notices he pounds the wooden table, glaring at them.
"What?" He impatiently questions.
"N-nothing, dude." DJ squeaks, holding his arms out in defense.
"Yeah, you're right. It is nothing. Now, I'm gonna sleep, and while I'm sleeping I don't want anybody waking me up. Capiche?"
Katie and Sadie nod frantically while Geoff throws his hands up. "Yeah, dude, no worries."
"What about when a challenge starts?" Courtney asks, folding her arms so her elbows lay on the table, her brow raised.
"I refer you to my previous statement, princess." With that, Duncan drops his head down, shutting his eyes with his toned arms wrapped around his head. Bridgette rolls her eyes.
(Confessional: Bridgette)
"I'm so glad Eva's gone. If she was still here there's no doubt in my mind that none of us would ever hear or see the end of it."
(Confessional: Courtney)
"Once again that neanderthal proves his worth. Tch, why do I even bother? And what's with that nickname? I'm a duchess, or even a queen, but a princess? That's just.. Ugh!"
(Confessional end)
Geoff leans toward DJ, hiding his mouth behind his hand. "Dude, Duncan's still mad at me for what happened last night."
"Well, yeah, you punched him in the face when we were this close to beating the Gophers. I'm a little annoyed too." DJ looks away, arms folded snobbishly.
"Aw, dude, please!" The blonde puts his hand on his bulky shoulder, tugging at his shirt. "I wanna make it right today - not just to you and Duncan - to everyone! I screwed up twice already, please help me redeem myself."
After a brief pause, DJ sighs and turns to look at Geoff. "..I can't stay mad at you."
"Yes! Yes! Thank you, DJ." Geoff exclaims.
"Alright, first things first, you gotta take the competition a bit more seriously, at least for a day. Whatever today's challenge is, you gotta step up and take a leadership role. It helps people respect you."
He nods determinedly. "Alright, got it."
DJ flashes a '2' sign. "Second, make sure to only use positive reinforcement. Don't lose your temper, 'cause then everyone's gonna look at your flaws and point the finger back at you, you know what I mean?"
"Yeah, I get it! Okay, anything else?"
"Don't punch anyone else in the face."
"I can do that. Alright, bring on today!" Geoff throws a fist out and strikes Tyler in the stomach as he walks over to the lunch table. "Oops, sorry dude." The jock drops his tray, whimpering as he clutches his stomach and nods.
"It's cool, man.." He lets out an overdramatic cough or two, catching Lindsay's attention on the other table. She stands up and gasps.
"Tyler!" Lindsay runs toward him, helping him remain balanced.
"Aww, she remembered his name." Beth gushes, clasping her hands together against her cheeks. Heather rolls her eyes.
"T-thanks, cutie." He stutters, eyes spinning in his head. Lindsay giggles behind her hand.
"That's just adorable." Justin snickers, smirking devilishly at Heather. She growls, snapping her fingers towards Lindsay.
"Lindsay!"
"C-coming!" She squeaks, nearly tripping over her own feet as she dashes toward her alliance leader. Tyler waves her goodbye before sitting down with the rest of his team.
On the Gopher table, Gwen puts her head down with her air pods in. LeShawna looks down at her and shakes her head, wordlessly mesmerized by how long she lasted in the challenge.
Cody stands in line to get his food, holding out his hands. Chef hands him a tray of slop, which he hesitantly accepts. As he turns around to get to his table, Noah appears behind him. The two freeze and go wide eyed, shuddering before walking past each other. Izzy slides up next to Noah, slamming her hips into his.
"Ah- hey, quit it, crazy girl." He scolds, grabbing a tray from the lackadaisical chef.
"Sooooooooo, you hang out with a lotta hot guys, huh?" Izzy questions, a big ol' grin on her face.
Noah raises a brow as they move along the line. "Hot guys? The hell are you talking about?"
She begins listing, "Owen, Cody-"
Noah interrupts her with a chipmunk-esque chuckle. "Y-you think Cody's attractive? That's hilarious."
She boops his nose. "You seem to! You and him were k.i.s.s.i.n.g ing yesterday~"
"Why would you say ing after i.n.g? That's redundant."
"Quit dodging the question, smart guy, everyone saw it!"
"I don't know what you're talking about." He begins walking to their table.
"Wait, wait, wait!" She grabs his arm with an unreal amount of strength, causing him to stop. He spins his head around and sighs.
"What?!"
"Does that mean you're not dating Owen?"
"Owen? No. No way. We're.." he swallows what must be his pride. "..friends."
That's when Owen walks up to the two with a tray in hand, gasping. "Hey, buddy! I haven't seen you for an entire day! Come here!" He squeezes his tiny frame, holding him like a bear holds a tree. You can hear his bones crack.
"H-hey.." He squeaks.
Izzy shrugs. "Hey, man, it's 2022! I mean, I'm pansexual and you don't see me being ashamed of it."
"Mm.. pans.." Owen begins salivating, some of his drool landing on Noah's food. He gags and pushes him away, throwing the tray aside.
"Okay, off! You and I need to talk strategy, come along." He grabs Owen's chunky wrist and continues his march to their table.
"Ooh, brekky and good company! Later, Izzy!" Owen waves at the orange haired girl like a child being led away by his parents, smiling innocently.
"Later! Oh, wait, I'm coming too!" She makes a sprint for their table.
(Confessional: Noah)
"After yesterday's disaster, I may have found a silver lining: Heather is obviously feuding with Justin, and with that in mind, I think it's safe to say she'll be occupied for a while trying to maintain control of her alliance. Oh, and Lindsay and Beth are a part of her alliance, as you know. The silver lining here isn't any of that though; because Owen conked out early yesterday, I was forced to temporarily ally myself with Cody, and now Izzy has a keen interest in all three of us. I have a four man alliance. With my influence, either conniving Heather or that influential bodybuilder Justin are out of here by next elimination ceremony. Too wordy? Feel free to cut it out, producers. I'm sure your feeble minded audience would really appreciate the subtle insult to their intelligence." He smirks, cocky.
(Confessional: Izzy)
"That guy is THE biggest twink I've ever met! Thank god he's stuck in the closet, cause Owen? Daaaaaaamn. Just, daaaaamn. He thicc!" She smacks her hand to emphasize this.
(Confessional: Owen)
"I'm so happy to have so many friends already! Back at home, I have tons of great family members that I love, but no real friends. Now that I'm here, I feel like Mr. Popular! Maybe the rest of high school won't be so tricky after all, hehe!"
(Confessional end)
As everyone is chatting and eating, the door to the mess hall opens and the last contestant not present enters, walking inside of the cafeteria with a goofy confidence about him. Harold struts down the hall to where Chef passes out food, not realizing that someone (Duncan) drew a mustache on his upper lip. Everyone looks at him, most laughing. He looks around at them as he grabs his tray.
"What?" He asks defensively to the room.
"Nice, 'stache, man." Geoff points at his lip, stifling a chuckle.
Harold raises a brow and grabs a spoon on the counter, looking at his reflection. "Oh, wow.. Thanks!" Obliviously, he marches to his seat, sitting down next to Sadie. She scoots away, pressing Katie closer to DJ.
Katie and DJ lock eyes. "Oh, hey! How'd you sleep?" The gentle giant asks.
"Oh, hi! Just fine, you?" Katie replies, turning fully to face him.
"About the same. How's the account?" He asks as she puts her elbows on the table and her chin in her hands.
"Ooh, super good, I posted a solo vid yesterday and…"
While they talk, Sadie pulls on Katie's arm. "Hey, Katie, maybe later we could go for a dip in the lake, post a video for the fans, maybe show some of the guys here what a real girl looks like, huh? What do you think?" Katie continues to rattle on to DJ, speaking a mile a minute. Sadie shakes her arm with more emphasis, and she finally turns.
"Huh? Did you say something, sweetie?" She questions.
"Yeah, I was wondering if maybe-"
"Good morning, campers!" Chris appears inside of the mess hall from the front door, throwing his arms up to emphasize his presence. "Are you ready for today's challenge?"
"No." Trent mumbles, raising his head from the table. Chris shoots finger guns at him.
"Too bad!"
"I hope it's not too hard for you, Bass! Losing 2-0 so far must be so hard on you all." Heather feigns niceness, but there's a venom in her voice that everyone notices. Courtney, irritated, tosses her breakfast at her. She dodges and it hits Gwen instead. Courtney gasps.
"Sorry!"
Gwen just lets the stuff drip off of her, eyes widened. Heather has to physically hold herself back from laughing.
(Confessional: Heather)
"...Pfft.. HAHAH-"
(Confessional end)
"What's the challenge today, Chris?" Geoff asks.
"Oh, you'll soon find out. Follow me, campers!" He puts his hands behind his back and struts out the door. Most shrug and decide to just do as they're told, not particularly hungry for breakfast. Owen hurriedly eats the paste in his bowl, not wanting to miss any food. Noah grabs his wrist and forces him to walk with himself and Izzy.
Harold knocks on the table. "Hey, Duncan, we're leaving now."
He growls before jumping up "I said nobody wakes me up!"
"I'm sorry!" His dorky voice yelps, pathetic frame sprinting outside with his noodle arms flailing. Duncan smirks and chuckles.
"...Heh. Whatever."
As they walk outside, the sun high in the sky, Heather grabs Lindsay and Beth's wrists.
"Girls, it's time for our second ever alliance meeting. Are you listening?"
"Uh… I think so." Beth mumbles, unable to stop staring at Justin's ass in front of her.
"Lindsay?" She shifts her eyes toward the blonde, who is equally as distracted giggling at something Tyler said.
"So you're on the football team AND the hockey team?" The ditz asks, charmed with her arms around his arm.
"More like running the football and hockey teams." He lies with a confident chuckle.
Heather yaps into her ear, "Lindsay!"
Lindsay turns her head, annoyed. "Whaaaaaat is it, Heathen?"
"Heather! Heath-er!" She yanks her hair back, pulling her away from her boytoy, who simply waves her goodbye.
"Owww! Okay, okay!"
She leans in and whispers, "I told you, no Bass boys until the teams are merged."
Lindsay's brain lights up and she pops her lips. "Oops, right, right! But the only Gopher boy I like is Dustin."
Justin turns around, one hand on his hips, teeth grinning with a gleam on the pearly whites and his dark blue eyes piercing both Lindsay and Beth, switching back and forth. "Oh? You do? You like me, Lindsay?" He questions, causing the blonde to stutter and blush.
"I… I mean.."
Heather stands between them, "No, no she doesn't. We need to focus."
Justin flips his hair upwards before turning around. "Yeah, on my butt. Right, ladies?" LeShawna, Owen, Lindsay, Beth, Katie and Sadie nod in unison.
"No!" Heather objects angrily. Lindsay and Beth look fearful of her but everyone else just raises their eyebrows. "I mean, of course you're cute, Justin! But at the same time, we shouldn't objectify you." she does a fake giggle. Justin shrugs, a big cocky smirk still on his face.
"If that were me, personally? I wouldn't take that." LeShawna whispers to Trent.
"Tch, if that were me, I'd tell her to back off. That girls gotta have some bipolar issues, or something." He replies.
Gwen yawns as she tries to get some chatter in with him. "Are you into psychology or just one of those dude bro's who misdiagnoses people?"
"I take sociology and psychology at school. Dad isn't a fan. My diagnosis? He's a psychopath-sociopath mix." Trent answers, grinning. Gwen smirks back.
"Ain't that a requirement to be a lawyer?"
"A lack of heart and soul? Basically the only requirement."
They share a laugh. Gwen continues. "So, what if music doesn't work out? What then?"
"I'll land on my feet, somehow. Start a business, maybe. Be my own boss. I'm nobody's employee, that's for sure." He waves his hand as if he's pointing out a horizon to her.
(Confessional: Gwen)
"So, the guy's anti establishment, writes his own songs, hates his dad AND he's relatively good looking? Ha, I have no chance… Not that I'm interested in him. Tch." She shifts around, hugging herself.
(Confessional: Trent)
"Man, that Gwen girl.. I mean, she's pretty, you know? I usually just get phony girls and girls way too old grabbing for me, so it's a nice change of pace to be able to talk to someone real, you know? Anyway, I don't have much of a chance."
(Confessional: LeShawna)
"Damn, I feel single. Ain't too many good guys here, though. Well, aside from Justin." She sighs dreamily.
(Confessional end)
The campers end up in a dodgeball court with brown, hardwood floors, shine reflecting off of them, and walls composed mostly of glass, with a sunroof for good measure. The bleachers go up by three rows and there are five red dodge balls in the center of the court, where a white line divides one side from the other. In between the bleachers is a ladder, leading upward to Chef's seat. Chris and Chef look at the contestants before them, the latter silently judging all of their 'weak' physiques with his eyes. There's a whistle around his neck and he's wearing a referee outfit.
Duncan immediately plops down on the bleachers, lying down. He looks up at the Bass and shoves his finger toward them. "Remember what I said: anyone wakes me up and it's the last thing they'll ever do." He then closes his eyes and lowers his head, trying to get some rest. Courtney rolls her eyes.
"Today's challenge is the classic game of dodgeball," Chris begins, speaking clearly and confidently as usual. "The first rule of dodgeball is-"
"Do not talk about dodgeball?" Noah teases, earning a snort from Owen.
Chris continues smirking, ignoring Noah. "As I was saying, if you get hit by the ball…" He throws it at Courtney's stomach.
"Ow!" She whines, picking it back up.
"...You're out!"
"You can't do that!" She yells, throwing the ball back.
Chris catches the ball. "If you catch the ball, the thrower gets sent out and the catcher gets to bring in another team member out on the court."
"Throwing balls, gee, another mentally challenging test." Noah sarcastically remarks.
Lindsay pokes her head out. "I know, right?!" Then she goes back to rubbing the bulge on her forehead. Noah and Owen look at each other, thinking the same thing.
"Okay, now Geoff, try to hit me." Chris throws the ball. Geoff catches it, his team giving him a look of 'can he really do this?' his smile fades and becomes a determined focus. "If you're holding a ball, you can use it to deflect a ball, but if it knocks the ball out of your hands, you're out!"
"So, what do I do again when the ball comes at me?" Lindsay asks, raising her hand as if she was in elementary school.
"You dodge!" Geoff throws the ball, which Chris deflects and knocks right into Lindsay's unsuspecting head. She falls to the ground, her team wincing. "Ooh..! You were supposed to dodge!"
"Ow.. right."
"Here, Lindsay, allow me." Justin offers, helping to pick her up. She smiles.
"T-thanks, Justin.." Tyler glares at the pair.
"H-hey! I could do that too!" She ignores him.
(Confessional: Tyler)
"Aw man, not again!"
(Confessional end)
"You have one minute before game time. Gophers: you'll have to sit one person out each game." Chris explains.
Heather turns around to her teammates, immediately taking position as team leader before anyone else can. "Alright, who wants to sit out? Don't be afraid, guys! No judgment here!"
"In that case, why don't me and Gwen sit out? She could use the rest, and I could use someone to talk to." Justin recommends, giving the pasty goth a shining smile. She tries to look away with a yawn.
"I-I mean, I guess." She follows his order, sitting down next to him.
"Fine." Heather huffs, but quickly goes back to faking niceness. "How about for the first round we do me, Beth, Lindsay, Owen and LeShawna? You guys all seem very athletic."
"For real? Well, I have been working out a lot, thanks for noticing." LeShawna bashfully replies, rubbing the back of her neck.
"Of course! It totally shows with what a fantastic butt you've got." Heather adds.
Invigorated and confident, LeShawna struts up to the plate. "Alright, let's do this!"
Heather grabs Owen's shoulders, looking him in the eyes. "Owen, don't be afraid to get ruthless. I know you're a sweet guy at heart, but the Bass are going to be fighting extra hard to win this one. Give us your best shot!"
Owen nods. "For the team, I will, Heather!" he salutes, heading off onto the court with the others. Heather smirks.
Noah sits down and opens up a book. "I should sit out, sports aren't my forte."
Heather narrows her eyes at him. "Whatever. Just be ready."
"I will, teamy!" He sarcastically replies.
Meanwhile, Geoff springs up. "Alright! Guys, we're on a total losing streak here. We need our best players out on that court."
"So you should sit out then?" Courtney questions. He opens his mouth to defend himself, but DJ comes to the rescue instead.
"Cut Geoff some slack, I'm sure he's gonna pull through for us on this one."
"What makes you say that?" Courtney asks.
Bridgette steps up, putting her hands up defensively. "Well, hold on guys, let's hear what he has to say first." Geoff smiles at her.
"Okay, so, we need the most athletic players up first. I say me, DJ and Courtney are pretty good contenders, then Tyler and Bridgette? "
"I'm cool with that." Bridgette replies, smiling back.
"Yeah! Finally, I'm recognized for my wicked skills!" Tyler cheers, throwing his fists up.
"What about me? I used to play badminton at Badmintony Steve's Badminton Camp. AND I was the number one player at my local Smash tournament, which is an E-sport-"
"Yeah, yeah, dude, maybe next time?" Geoff says, cutting him off. Harold rolls his eyes.
"Whatever, gosh!" He sits his flat, pancake butt down on the bleachers.
"Ooh, can me and Katie go after? We're like, super sportsy! We play for our school's volleyball team!"
"Ooh, yeah! Let me play, please!" Katie begs.
Geoff motions for them to relax. "Girls, girls, you'll get a chance! Let us play first. Be ready to come in when we catch any balls thrown our way."
"Okay!" They squee in unison, sitting down next to each other.
"All players ready?" Chris starts, watching as the Bass and Gopher teams get into position, both teams eyeing the five balls in the center of the court. "And… Begin!" The whistle goes off, allowing the players to begin the game.
Tyler immediately jumps forward and grabs two in his arms, holding them for himself. Owen grabs the rest with his huge frame, throwing two to LeShawna and Heather respectively, and the last forward, striking DJ in his ribs. The whistle sounds and he walks off to the court, sitting next to Katie. "Oh hey! Tough break, wanna take a selfie?"
"Sure." DJ replies, smiling back.
"Can I be in it, guys?" Sadie asks, only to be left out with a click! "Oh.. next time!"
Back to the game, LeShawna tosses a ball at Courtney, hitting her in the knee. "Ow! Hey!" She drops her ball and walks to the bleachers. Bridgette quickly picks her ball up.
"That's it! We're gonna bring the dinner to the table, and then we're gonna eat it! YAHHHH!" Tyler rushes forward, throwing a ball as hard as he possibly can whilst spinning in a circle. It's a direct hit into Harold's stomach.
"OW!" The dork yelps, throwing the ball back into the court. "Idiots!" Tyler looks back at the Gophers, fear in his eyes.
"Is that the best you've got?!" Beth taunts.
"No!" SPLAT! The ball thrown by Owen knocks Tyler into the glass wall. He slowly falls down onto the floor, gasping for air. "...Ow…"
Geoff and Bridgette look between each other. Heather is the only Gopher with a ball, and there's no other balls on her court. Lindsay, Beth, Owen and LeShawna look pretty confident though. "You play volleyball, Bridge?" Geoff asks.
"Uh- why?"
"'Cause we're gonna spike these guys! Just watch my back and try to distract 'em, okay?"
"Okay, I'll try!" The surfer girl runs forward and stands at the edge of the line, clutching the ball.
"Come on, Bridge! Show me how it's done!" Heather mocks, a big smirk on her face. Bridgette chucks the ball, Heather dodges. Then Geoff jumps forward and throws his ball right into her face. Beth takes the shot instead, her glasses breaking right in her face. Geoff lands on his feet, teeth glistening as he grins proudly.
"Ah! Oh no, my glasses!" She bends down and finds her pair split apart on the ground. She actually looks worse without them on.
"Nice save, Beth! Hit the bleachers." The raven haired Asian pats her alliance-mate on her shoulder, pointing in the direction of the peanut gallery. Beth holds her hands out, trying to find her way as she marches in the direction of the bleachers.
We flash forward a bit further in the first set, Geoff and Bridgette against Heather, Owen and Lindsay. Owen has three balls in his arms, with the blondes having one each. They're war faces are on. Lindsay blows a raspberry at them while Heather folds her arms with a confident grin. Bridgette really wants to hit her with this dodgeball in her hands.
Owen juggles the three balls, throwing each one as they pass through his arms. Geoff drops his ball and catches one, then Bridgette dodges the other two before hitting Owen's chin. "Ah! No!" He squeals, running back into the bleachers. "Sorry, everyone!"
"Aw, it's okay, Big-O!" Izzy chirps. Owen scratches his head.
"Big-O?"
"Yeah! That's my nickname for ya now!"
"Oh. I've never had a nice nickname before."
"Me neither! Just cool ones like psycho and femcel. I don't really get 'em though." She flashes a toothy, killer smile. He nervously chuckles, sitting next to her as Lindsay gets struck in the head by a dodgeball. Chris can't help but laugh.
"Sudden death! Heather vs Geoff and Bridgette! Oh, this reminds me, it's a set of five, so this will decide who gets one step closer to immunity!" The host man calls.
"You know," Justin starts, scooching closer to Gwen. Trent is asleep next to her, and she's letting him, seeing that he won last time. "I really think goths have had the short end of the stick. Being so sexy and yet so limited by society's beauty standards."
"Sexy? We're not trying to be sexy for you."
"Of course not. It's incidental, right?"
(Confessional: Gwen)
"Ugh, he's good!"
(Confessional end)
Heather notices Justin flirting with Gwen and growls. It distracts her long enough to get hit in the cheek. The whistle sounds as she rubs it, walking back to the bleachers angry.
"Um, Heather, could you maybe-" Bridgette throws another ball into Lindsay's stomach. "Oh.. okay."
"Score one for the Bass!" Chris announces to a roar of cheers from said team. The Gophers congregate, including a barely awake Trent.
"Okay, new team. Cody, you're up to bat." Heather orders, pointing out to the court.
"Sports? Totally. I can do sports." Cody boasts, strutting off the bleachers.
"Owen, get back out there."
Owen pumps his arms in the air. "All right, baby! Can Iz come?"
Heather looks at Izzy as she erratically nods. "Yeah, yeah, I'm really good at hurtin' people!"
"Sure. Owen and Izzy. Then, Gwendolyn. Your breaks up."
Gwen cringes at the use of her full name, stepping up to plate. "Sure, whatever."
"...And Justin. Let's go, teamy!" Heather enthuses.
"Er… No. No way." Justin throws his hands up in dry defense. Heather quirks an eyebrow up.
"What do you mean 'no way'? You have to play."
"Well actually, all I have to do is keep my skin, face and hair perfect for the cameras, according to Fifi."
"Fifi?"
"My modeling agent. Swell guy. Want his number, Lindsay?" He hands the blonde a piece of paper with numbers on it. Lindsay tries to grab it with her grubby hands.
"Ooh, you think I'm model worthy?" She questions, flattered.
"One in a million, baby~" He winks. Heather grabs Fifi's number and tears it in half.
"ENOUGH!" The heads of her team swing in her direction. She blushes, covering her mouth. She suddenly bursts into tears. "Oh my gosh, I totally didn't mean to lose my cool, guys! It's just… This is so stressful! I mean, I'm trying really hard to pull us through another victory and… what if I fail!?"
"Aww, girl, don't worry, I'll go in Justin's place. Just sit down and relax." LeShawna ushers Heather to a seat, handing her a handkerchief from her pocket.
"Thank you, LeShawna. You're so s-sweet.." The Queen Bee mutters between sniffles.
(Confessional: Justin)
"What is she doing? Is that a girl thing? To suddenly burst into tears crying? I'm not buying it, sister."
(Confessional end)
On the Bass side…
"Alright, Geoff! Good work out there. You too, Bridge!" DJ applauds, along with Harold, Sadie and Katie.
"Thanks, DJ!" Bridgette replies with a smile.
"Alright, keep the same players, except for Courtney and Tyler, you guys can take a break. Instead, let's do Katie and Sadie."
"Is it because I lost? I promise I can do better!" Tyler responds as the two girls run onto the battlefield. Courtney goes on her phone while Harold folds his arms in frustration of not being picked and Bridge + DJ head out to the court.
"Next round, dude. I believe in you." Geoff chimes, finger gunning him half to death. With slouched shoulders, Tyler retreats to his seat.
"Okay…"
"Let's get out on that court!" Bridgette yodels.
The round begins with a whistle.
"Begin round 2!" Chris exclaims. Owen and Izzy pick up two balls each and toss them sporadically, stunning the Bass into being completely annihilated, save for Bridgette. Chris and Chef's jaws drop, as does everyone else's.
"Game on!" Owen screams.
"Wow… I'd instant replay, but I think even that was too fast for slow motion." Chris says.
"Let's do it again instead!" Izzy grabs the last ball out of the blonde's stunned hands and easily floors her with it. "Touchdown!"
Noah peers up from his book, a small smirk on his face as the Gophers cheer. "Woohoo, way to throw those murder balls, go team, go."
(Confessional: Noah)
"To be honest, I had no idea she had actual skill behind all the insanity. I bagged a goldie, it seems."
(Confessional end)
"Alright, Bass and Gophers are tied. That's 1-1. Form your teams and get ready for round three!" Chris decrees. Geoff rubs his bruised head, pointing up.
"Uh.. okay, Bridgette, DJ, Courtney and-"
Tyler jumps up, raising his hand like a grade schooler. "Ooh! Me, me! I promise I won't let a bad thing like that happen again if you give all the balls to me!"
"You need all the balls you can get." Courtney mutters offhandedly with a roll of her eyes.
"Fine. Tyler." Geoff states flatly.
"Woohoo!" He runs towards the court. Harold stands out of his seat, flabbergasted.
"But what about me?! I have actual mad skills!"
Geoff turns to the dork. "Dude, don't diss Tyler like that. Dude's good, just gotta have his back. Let's play ball." Harold twitches, sitting back down with a 'gosh!'.
(Confessional: Harold)
"Bull! I may not look like the ideal male figure, but I'll have you know that I placed second in every dodgeball tournament at my school. People here really need to stop underestimating the severity of my mad skills."
(Confessional end)
The Gophers finish celebrating, high fiving Izzy and Owen. "Good job, big guy!"
"Thanks, Heather!" Owen replies, smiling big.
"Uh, yeah, good stuff out there, champ." Justin adds, looking down at his phone.
"Champ?" Owen questions.
"You know, sex god, beast in bed, scorer of attractive people alike, whatever man." He turns his perfect ocean blue eyes to Gwen and LeShawna. Hey, Gwen, 'Shawna, wanna help me manicure my nails over here?"
"Shawna? Who you think you're talking to?" LeShawna questions,
"Uh.. I'll pass." Gwen rejects, hurting his ego. She grabs Trent's arm and sets him down. "Trent should sit out this time."
"Yes, please." The punk mumbles, eyes closed.
"I'll sit out too! I mean, you know, for Trent." Cody offers, sitting down next to the snorer.
Heather takes charge. "Okay, Noah, Justin, time to play." she claps her hands.
"No thanks. Remember, sports aren't my forte." Noah replies, looking into his book with more interest than most boys should.
"What's your excuse, pretty boy?"
"Face, gotta protect the face." Justin answers, opening the camera app on his phone to look at himself. Cody rubs the back of his neck nervously as he gathers the nerve up to reply.
"But dude, it's summer camp, we all get a little dirty."
"You're not exactly attractive, Cody. You wouldn't understand."
The team gasps. Cody looks down and rubs his arm.
(Confessional: Heather)
She sits there for a few seconds, trying to speak but ultimately laughing her ass off, clutching her stomach. "HAHAHA! No way! He gave me that angle? What a sucker!"
(Confessional end)
Heather claps her hands against her cheeks, mortified. "Oh my god! How could you say that to poor Cody? He- he's so cute and so sweet to everyone here, and you call him ugly?!"
"Uh, he never said ugly, just unattract-"
"Oh, you knew what he meant! All of us…" she forcefully swallows her pride, 'ugly girls' can relate, right? To being objectified and labeled by men in power? Well, not anymore! No more pretty privilege! Justin is a bully, plain and simple."
Justin swallows, putting his phone down with wide eyes and red cheeks. "What?"
LeShawna and the other girls glare at him. "Yeah.. she's right! You're an asshat, Justin. Teams' supposed to support each other, but all you wanna support is your beautiful jawline and perfect eyes, and… ah, somebody get me in that court."
"There, there.." Beth ushers her in.
LeShawna turns to Heather as she stops. Beth bumps into her and falls down. "And for what it's worth, girl? You're gorgeous!"
Heather wipes a crocodile tear, clasping her hands together. "Thank you, LeShawna. Seriously. It's so.. Cool of you to say. L-Lindsay, could you fill in for Justin?" Lindsay tightens her fists at Justin, who is immediately intimidated, and walks onto the court along with Gwen, Heather, Owen and Izzy.
"Yeah, I'm a team player." She spitefully growls. Heather winks at him.
"L-ladies, I didn't mean it! I think ugly people are cool! E-especially the dorky ones like Cody." Justin tries and fails to cover himself, slumping his shoulders in defeat when they ignore him.
"Wow.. an attempt was made, I guess." Cody mutters.
"Oh, get your dumb forum references out of my face, kid. The jigs up." Justin laments. "Oh well, always the audience at home." He flashes a grin at the camera directly, his teeth and eyes simultaneously sparkling as he strikes a pose with his arms above his head to show off his amazing pectoral muscles.
(Confessional: Cody)
"Can you believe it? Girls, real girls, defending me! I've never felt so attractive before. You think Gwen noticed?"
(Confessional end)
Gwen sketches a picture of Trent sleeping while sitting cross legged next to him, giggling at the sight. Cody notices and groans.
Chris looks up at Chef as the teams get into position. Chef blows the whistle. Tyler holds all of the balls on the court, charging forward towards the white line. He spins around, much to the chagrin of his team, and throws one ball that nearly hits Chef.
"You break it, you buy it, kid!" Chef scolds.
"Strike 'em out, throw 'em out, ra-ra." The next ball flies off into the rival team's bleachers, striking Noah in the face. "Ow.." He holds his now bloodied nose. Cody smirks.
"I guess sports aren't your forte."
"Shut up, Cody.." Noah murmurs. The third ball launches into Sadie's stomach in Tyler's own court.
"Hey!" She yelps.
The final ball flies out of Tyler's hand into the enemy court, striking Lindsay square in the face. He gasps, running towards her. "No!"
"Finally!" Courtney sighs.
Tyler gets down and holds her up. There's a giant, discolored bruise on her face that makes her eye look like a bee stung it. She groans as she comes to. "Oh.. ow… Ah.. T-Tyler?"
"Hey, yeah, it's me. You okay?"
"I.. Think so. How do I look?" He winces at that question, as does Owen, DJ, Noah and Geoff, who wants to scream at him, but DJ restrains him, putting a finger to his lips.
"No criticism! Not yet, not today, brother." DJ whispers. Geoff nods.
Tyler manages to get the words out. "...Great. Yeah, you actually look awesome."
"Really?" She questions, smiling through the pain.
"Yeah! I mean, you look like a truck hit you - a beauty truck full of uh- beauty stuff!" Bridgette and Gwen cringe aggressively at that line.
"Awww, that's so sweet." She lets him pick her up bridal style.. Heather looks mildly infuriated. Gwen walks up to him and throws a ball at his chest, getting him out.
"Wanna.. Get outta here?" Tyler asks, pointing towards the back door.
Have to say no, have to say no.
"Okay!" Lindsay chirps, letting him carry her off. Heather looks dumbfounded.
"Hey! What the H! You can't just leave! What about our rules?" Heather yells, only for Lindsay to tune her out and let her jock of a man carry her out the door. She turns to Chris. "Hey, host, isn't there a rule against that?!"
"Are they still playing?" Chris deflects.
"No, they got out, but-"
"Is romance not one of the easiest ways to cater to the emotionally unavailable and yet incredibly affection starved teens of today?"
"...Yes?"
"Cool, then it's not against the rules. Continue!" Chef blows his whistle in response to Chris' demand. Heather groans, picking up the ball Gwen dropped and giving it to Izzy, who throws it at the speed of sound directly into Geoff's face, his hat descending like a parasol to the ground below. Chris can't help but laugh maniacally.
"Awesome!" He exclaims. Geoff walks out of the court. Owen throws another ball that DJ catches. He looks up at Katie and motions for her to join. She excitedly leaves behind her BFF and joins the court, trying to look cute to the cameras. Izzy throws another high powered ball at her, getting her out immediately. With the distraction, Courtney throws a ball at Heather and hits her, getting her out.
"Shit. Owen, Izzy, you've got this."
"Court, DJ: let's focus." Bridgette commands, taking leadership now that Geoff's out.
"Right. Send 'em over, Gophers!"
"Owen smash!" The blonde chucks the ball that knocked out Heather at Courtney in revenge, and unfortunately she can't dodge in time and gets hit.
"Ow! Ugh. good luck, guys." The CIT groans, heading towards the bleachers. She sits next to Duncan, looking down at his snoozing face. She wants to punch it. Bad.
Gwen, Owen and Izzy give cocky looks at Bridgette and DJ, who look fiercely determined to win. "You get Gwen, I'll get Owen." The giant whispers, slowly picking up a ball from the floor.
"What about Izzy?" Bridgette whispers back, picking up one of her own. Owen and Gwen held a ball each, and one more ball rested under Izzy's sporadic foot.
"We'll team up on her from there." DJ replies. Bridgette nods, charging up her shot in unison with DJ. Owen tries to throw before everyone else, but DJ catches him and hits him in the noggin. Bridgette and Gwen throw at the same time, but Bridgette is able to dodge out of the way, while Gwen's lackadaisical nature prevents her from making such a brass move. She gets hit.
"Oof. Oh well." The goth shrugs, leaving to the bleachers to sit next to Trent again.
"Aw, great barrier reef! Izzy, you're the last one!" Owen yells.
"Deuces!" Izzy flashes a peace sign at him, kicking her ball up before throwing it aimlessly at the court. DJ chuckles as he picks it up, throwing it hard. She catches it between her thighs mid jump. DJ's jaw hits the floor. Owen grins at her play and waltzes into their court. Bridgette picks up her own and jumps into the air, attempting the spike technique. Owen punches the ball back and it collides with her ribs, sending her to the ground.
Izzy then easily pulverizes DJ with one swift ball to the teeth. He lays there, twitching erratically.
"Gophers win again! That's 2-1, Bass. Yikes."
"We'll do better next round, promise!" Geoff assures his team.
Next round, Owen, Izzy, LeShawna, Heather and Cody demolish Bridgette, Sadie, Katie, Courtney and Harold, whooping and hollering all the way.
"So, those mad skills, huh?" DJ questions, eyebrow raised and arms folded next to Geoff as the lanky nerd passes by his team. He stops to defend himself.
"I wasn't in my zone! Let me just-"
"Harold, stop. It's not cool, or cute, you're being lame." Geoff states. Bridgette nods.
"Straight up."
Harold looks between his teammates frustrated faces and sucks his teeth. "I'll show you lame. Let me play!"
"No way, Jose." Geoff replies. Harold sits his butt down, disturbed.
"Fine, gosh!" He rolls his eyes dramatically.
Courtney pants, stuttering over her words as she tries to boost team spirit. "W-we've probably got this next one, right? Let's do-..."
Smack, smack, smack, smack, smack!
It was a slaughter. The Bass slowly rise up from the floor, all bruised and battered. Chris can't get enough of this display. "Gophers win 4-1! Looks like Bass is eliminating yet another camper. That is sad. Can you say 'biggest losers in TD history?' Haha, haha!"
Something in Courtney snaps. She tightens her hand into fists, eyebrows furrowing. "Loser…? No.. Momma didn't raise a loser. Daddy didn't raise a loser. I am not a loser!" She stomps her floor, teeth gritting as she marches towards the bleachers. "Okay, team, that's it."
"What are you doing?" Bridgette asks as Courtney stands over Duncan.
"Something I should have done from the start."
Harold raises his pointed finger. "But if you wake him up, he'll-"
"Shut it, dweeb. Unlike you, I have the moxy to get shit done." he lowers his head, sighing. Courtney starts shaking the green haired criminal awake. "Wake up, Duncan! We need you!" He growls. "Don't play dumb with me! You know how many times I did the same thing when my parents fought in the living room? No, you don't, because you can't even count past five, you meandering douche!"
"Alright, alright! I'm up. Jesus christ, Princess, settle down."
"Huff.. sorry. But you were sleeping, and we're getting crushed out there. We need your help."
"We were hoping that maybe.. You'd have a strat in mind? You know, cause uh-"
"Yeah, yeah, dangerous convict, must have been in the pen long enough to play sports with a bunch of degenerates."
"..Did you?"
"Geoff! That's insensitive!"
"Sorry, Bridge, but we gotta win here, we've already lost two people and we don't have time to be cordial. Duncan, dude, I'm super, super sorry about punching your lights out and I promise it'll never happen again. I also promise that if you help us, we'll all chip in to win, despite the unsettling odds. I promise."
"...Ah, fine. How could I stay mad at a mug as goofy as that?"
"Alright! So, you have played dangerously criminal sports with convicts before, right?"
"Yeah, yeah, I've had my fair share. The best strat I know is called 'Rush The New Guy.' Everyone grabs a dodgeball, and I do mean everyone. Then, we all target one guy and overwhelm him."
"It's our best shot.."
"Okay, let's do it. Who's on?"
"I pick the team. Me, Bridgette, Geoff, DJ, Princess. You're our only real players with any sort of athleticism."
"Hey!"
"No offense, dorks, but you suck. I was watching, sometimes."
"Ugh, whatever! We're way prettier than you anyway."
"Riveting. Let's get out there."
(Confessional: Courtney)
"That was easier than I thought it'd be. I was expecting him to put up more of a fight. Huh."
(Confessional end)
Heather, Gwen, Izzy, Cody and LeShawna all stand together, looking directly at the set of five dodgeballs in the middle of the court, all lined up perfectly. Duncan looks back at his teammates behind him, nodding at them. They nod in return. Chris can't help but grin wildly at the conflict. "Go! Go! Go!"
The whistle goes. Each Bass member grabs the balls before any Gopher can. "Heads up, pasty." Duncan calls out the entire team targeting Gwen. Her eyeliner coated eyes widen as each ball penetrates her skin like she was a cheap whore in a back alley. She goes down without much effort, staring at the ceiling in complete shock. The Gophers look terrified.
"Holy crap.. It worked." Courtney whispers, looking at that tall, badly posterized figure.
"And now, we play the name of the game: dodge!" Duncan directs, everyone around him doing as instructed. Playing defense, the Bass eventually has all the balls on their court. Once again they load up their hands, wind back and throw all the balls at Izzy, who tries desperately to dodge every which way, only to get completely knocked down.
"Wow… I need a cigarette after that." Izzy mutters, falling unconscious.
Through a montage, we see the Bass dominate the next few games. The same team is maintained throughout the next three wins, causing the bench warmers to either stay on their phones unbothered with the occasional cheer, or grumble to themselves about how good they'd be on the court. On win number three, enraged, Heather calls time out and leaves the court, looking for Lindsay.
Underneath the Dock of Shame, Lindsay and Tyler snuggle up together. Tyler, with his arm wrapped around her waist, decorates her neck with sweet butterfly kisses against her salty skin, his free hand finally cupping those voluptuous double D's.
"T-Tyler..~" She giggles bashfully. Heather looks down when she hears the sound of smacking lips, scoffing in disgust.
"Hey! What the fuck, Lindsay? You're letting a Bass boy touch all over you like that?!"
"H-Heather! Oh crap." Lindsay stammers.
Tyler defends her, taking his hand off her boob. "Hey, just leave her alone, she's not a little girl." In response, Heather throws a canoe on his head, the material breaking so his head pokes into the vehicle. "Ow!"
"You're out of the alliance until you grow the fuck up." Heather spits, walking away.
"I'm so sorry." Lindsay says sadly.
"It's okay. I've had worse injuries." Tyler and Lindsay pull the canoe off together, throwing it into the water. "So, an alliance, huh?"
She looks to the side shamefully. "Uh.. please don't tell the Killer Pass!"
"Don't worry 'bout it, Linds. Your secret's safe with me. We should prolly head back, huh?" Tyler states, rubbing his long, sweaty hair.
"S-sure. We might have to be together in secret, though.. Sorry." Lindsay squeaks.
"I don't mind. See you later?" He leans close to her. She pecks his chiseled cheek.
"Yeah! Totes." With that, they part.
(Confessional: Lindsay)
"I am not easy to get with. All of my exes always told me that I was difficult to listen to, so they must have had a really hard time getting to know me! Tyler's different though. He makes me feel.. Nice." She sighs, holding her hands together.
(Confessional end)
"The score is 4-4. Bass and Gophers are neck and neck, and it looks like nothing at all could stop Duncan and the Killer Bass." Chris announces as commercials presumably end. "This next round is for the bacon. Teams, form."
Tyler walks into court at the same time as Lindsay. Heather grabs her alliance mate's wrist and shoves her to the bleachers. "There you are! Where were you, we were so worried!"
"You were?" Lindsay's brain is in tatters already as she's sat down.
"Of course I was! I feel terrible about flipping out like that.. Let's say that I let you back into the alliance on the condition that you and Tyler stay friends. Okay?"
"Okay… Thanks, Heather."
"No, no, thank you, Lindsay. Most girls wouldn't be this cool."
"We're BFF's, right?"
"Forever, Lindsay." She replies, fingers crossed behind her back. She stands up and gets her team coordinated, consisting of herself, Owen, Izzy, LeShawna and Cody. They line up to base, this time acutely aware of the Bass' strategy and ready to get the comeback. Heather enforces the same strategy on her team, nodding at them in preparation for the kill.
Duncan gets his usual team together. "Wait, I haven't had one turn yet! Can't I go once?" Harold begs.
"No way. We might actually win this thing." Courtney denies.
"Back on the bench, bro." Duncan agrees. Harold reaches out as they walk away, stopping them.
"If one of you catches the ball, at least call me back in, please just give me another chance!"
Duncan rolls his eyes back to him. "If it'll shut you up, fine."
"You won't regret this." Harold salutes. Duncan turns back around.
"Oh, I will."
Tyler walks in next, sitting down casually on the bleachers. Courtney spots him and points at him. "Hey! Were you out with that Gopher girl?!"
He freezes. "No!... Maybe… So?"
Courtney grabs his shoulders. "So? She could be getting you to spill all of our strategies to her!" They look at Lindsay from across the court. She's talking to her own hands like they're puppets.
Bridgette places a hand on Courtney's shoulder. "I doubt it, Court. It's okay. Let's get our heads in the game."
"Right, right, head in the game." She takes a deep breath, following Bridgette into their side.
"Five versus five for the fifth point. Are you ready, teams?"
They wordlessly agree, all eyes on those dodgeballs.
"Three… Two… One…
Go!" The whistle blows. The Bass are completely baffled as the Gophers nab every last dodgeball and chuck them all at Geoff, sending him out of the game.
"Geoff! Oh my god, they got Geoff!" DJ yelps, his voice cracking as he lifts him up and runs him off the stage to lay down on the bleachers.
"DJ… Was I a good leader..?" Geoff mumbles, his eyes squinting. DJ sniffles, holding his hand with both of his.
"The best, man.. The best."
"Rush The New Guy.. crap, they must have realized our strategy."
"Retaliate!" Courtney cries, the Bass getting their own chance to launch their balls at the Gophers, flooring LeShawna.
"Damn.." She coughs, barely able to stand. Gwen and Lindsay cart her off the court. Duncan picks up the last ball and throws it at Heather, knocking her out.
"Damnit! You guys better win!" Heather yells in a whiny voice.
"Uh, we'll try." Cody stutters.
Three balls out of five are picked up and all launched at Bridgette, but DJ runs in front of her and takes the hits.
"DJ, you could have just grabbed them and brought someone back in!"
"Shoot! Sorry, I couldn't bear to see you hurt, Bridge."
"Well, tha-" A ball smacks her in the chest. "Nevermind." She and DJ walk off together. Courtney and Duncan pick up one ball each and throw them at Cody, who dodges out of the way before throwing his own ball. Duncan catches it, dodging the next balls from Owen and Izzy. He looks up at Harold apprehensively, who's on the edge of his seat. Chef blows the whistle and Cody sits down.
(Confessional: Duncan)
"Look, he looked pathetic, he smelled pathetic, he sounded pathetic, I felt a little pity for the nerd. So, yeah, I called him in. What about it?"
(Confessional end)
"Me? Really? Yes!" Harold runs in, battle stance ready. Duncan huffs, shaking his head. All the balls were on their court. All three of them target Izzy, but she grabs and uses Cody as a meatshield instead, one ball in particular crushing his nuts.
"AH! O-ow…" He squeaks, falling to his knees whilst sucking air, his stomach in awful pain. Noah drags him out.
"Two v two, baby! Let's go!" Izzy grabs two balls and tosses both, the power behind her throw not good enough. Duncan picks one up, but Owen throws a ball that hits him square in the face.
"Shit. Courtney," She gets hit next. "...Harold. Please." Duncan softly speaks, looking at him with worry. Harold has all the balls on his court now. He picks up three at a time and chucks each, missing every shot. Owen and Izzy give sadistic stares of confidence, both of them throwing rapid fire balls at the scrawny ginger. Surprisingly, Harold elegantly dodges every shot as if he were Neo. It's not long until the Gophers are out of balls, with Harold dodging it by jumping. He lands on a dodgeball and slips, sending the ball crashing into Izzy.
"Nuts!" She curses. "Welp, good luck, big-O!" Izzy smacks his buns hard, eliciting a giggle from his squeaky voice as she leaves to sit down next to Noah.
"Time out, time out!" Courtney calls. Chef blows his whistle, granting the time out. Courtney and Tyler sit Harold down, holding a bottle of water and bucket respectively. Courtney squirts the water into his mouth and Harold spits it back out into Tyler's face. "You've got them on the ropes now, Harold! Who knew you had it in you?"
"None of you, duh!" He responds spitefully.
"Well, now you're in, and you're killing it. Can you keep that up?" Bridgette questions.
"Definitely." He opens his mouth for another squirt of water, spitting it all on Tyler once again.
"All you need to do is either hit Owen out," Courtney starts.
"Which we all know you can't do." Duncan interrupts.
"...Or catch the ball. Can you do that?"
Harold nods. "You know it."
Chef's whistle blows. "Come on, already, I ain't got all day!"
"Let's do this." Harold cracks his knuckles, facing Owen. Five balls are scattered throughout the Gopher court. Owen grins evilly, giving a chuckle.
"Sorry, dude. You're going down."
Harold swallows, preparing himself. Owen throws one ball in his hand as hard as he can, everyone on the bleachers watching with bated breath as Harold is sent flying into the wall, the ball in his hands. Harold reveals that he caught the ball and just like that the Killer Bass wins, the crowd going wild. Owen falls to his knees and screams, defeated.
"The Killer Bass wins! Finally." Chris announces, the Gophers hanging their heads low or otherwise rolling around in their own loss. Chris turns to them. "Gophers, what happened?"
Noah opens his mouth to speak but then looks back at Justin and changes his mind. "We tried our best." He simply states.
"Most of us, anyways." Heather scathes, pointing her angry eyes at Justin. Everyone else on her team copies her. Justin chuckles nervously before ripping his shirt off.
"Lindsay, Beth, you two aren't mad at me, right?"
"Sorry, Dustin, I don't really like you right now." Lindsay states, giving him the cold shoulder.
"I can't even see you, your charms won't work on me." Beth follows her alliance mate with a pompous stride. The rest of the Gophers leave him alone.
Owen very hesitantly begins walking away, lagging behind the others. Justin reaches out for him, running up to the big ball of gas. "Owen, dude..? I-I'll let you do whatever you want to my muscles!" Owen slowly turns around, looking around at the empty court around him.
"Even eat cake off of your nipples..?" Owen questions quietly.
"With maple syrup." He whispers sensually, pulling him close.
"...Who do you want me to vote for?"
For the first time, the Screaming Gophers are sitting down on logs at the campfire ceremony. The moon shines down on the mostly confident (barring Owen and Justin) faces of our dimly lit, fireside losers. Chris holds a plate with ten marshmallows on it in front of the team.
"Well, well, well, Screaming Gophers. Welcome to your first elimination ceremony. Hope the Bass kept those seats warm for ya. You've all cast your votes and made your decisions. The camper who does not receive a marshmallow must immediately report to the Dock of Shame, ride the Boat of Losers and leave Total Drama Island for good. And you can't come back. Ever."
Justin, Noah and Heather look between each other, all wise to one another's motives. "If I call your name, you're safe. The first marshmallow goes to LeShawna." Chris throws it towards the loud and proud woman and she catches it, eating it with a pump of her fist.
"Owen, Izzy." Chris holds two marshmallows for them to collect. They eagerly walk over and munch on them. "Cody." The pipsqueak catches the confectionary with ease on a stick.
"Heather, Gwen, Trent." All three come up to collect, with Trent grinning at Gwen. She smiles back, popping the marshmallow into her mouth. Heather waves sardonically at Noah and Justin.
"Beth and Lindsay."
Lindsay stands up and sits Beth down before she can stand. "Oh, I'll get it for you!" She runs over to Chris and steals two marshmallows, giving one to Beth.
"Beth, your glasses still broken?" Chris asks.
"Well it's not like there's an optometrist on the island, right?" Beth asks rhetorically.
"Guess not. Sucks for you." Chris smirks, looking between Justin and Noah. Noah doesn't seem too bothered until he looks up from the book in his hands to see that he and Justin are the last two here. Justin looks worried.
"Noah, Justin. This is the final marshmallow of the evening. Justin, I gotta say, I didn't expect you to be here so early. Noah, you didn't help your team when they needed you most, but you wouldn't have been too useful anyways. The final marshmallow of the night goes to…"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"...Noah." Chris throws Noah his marshmallow. He gives Justin a cocky smirk, elbowing his arm playfully.
"Woulda been too much fat for your diet anyways, buddy. Better luck next time."
"Justin, I'm sorry to see you go. Truly."
"I understand, Chris. I was a jerk, truly. I made a woman cry. I don't know how I could be so insensitive. I promise, from now on, I'll try to see ugly people as I do normal people."
"Aww.. we're sorry to see you go too, Justin!" Beth yells, waving him goodbye. This lazy, faux speech is enough to convince the girls of the Gophers to feel bad for him, waving him off as he packs up his stuff and heads for the dock.
"If it's any consolation, I didn't vote for you!" Owen yelps. "So can we still do all that stuff you promised?" Justin ignores him. Noah clears his throat next to him, startling him.
"Then who did you vote for?"
"Uh- n-nobody, buddy! I voted, er Lindsay!"
"We'll talk about it tomorrow, I'm too tired right now." Noah says, rolling his eyes.
"Yeah, bye, bye, Justin!" Heather sweetly cries, waving whilst blowing on a tissue with a devilish smirk hidden behind it. Justin shakes his head.
"Tch.." Chef pulls up in the Boat of Losers and takes Justin away.
"Gophers, until next time." Chris says, waving them off while they disperse to their cabin.
(Confessional: Heather)
"Yes! Yes, yes! To be honest, I expected him to put up more of a fight. Guess $100,000 isn't all that to some dull brained model after all. Bye bye, Justin, and hello Noah!"
(Confessional end)
Mid credits:
The Boat of Losers rolls up to the next stop to loserdom, Playa Des Losers, where Ezekiel is dipping his feet into the water and Eva is chowing down on a gourmet steak with her hands and teeth. Justin smiles. "Hey, this looks nice. Where's this?"
"Your new home for the next eight weeks, boy."
"I get to spend my summer at a resort instead of at that dump? Why didn't that asshat host say so?"
"Ah, ah, ah. Before you enjoy the resort, I gotta ask you a few questions."
"Okay, yes, it was me who burned down that apartment complex, but nobody died and I've already been charged. That's actually how I was discovered, my mugshot was so handsome that they couldn't help themselves."
"No, no, just follow me." Chef climbs out of the boat, offering his grubby, giant hands to help him up.
"No thanks." Justin winces, helping himself up to the island. Justin and Chef walk to a bench and sit down across from each other. Eva looks over at Justin and stops eating, her cheeks flushing red. He immediately looks away, covering his face. "Let's get this over with so I can enjoy my beauty sleep."
"You and me both. Name?"
Justin leans back, hands behind his gel coated hair. "Are you kidding? Justin Reid."
"Justin, what are your likes and dislikes?" Chef asks.
"Likes include sunbathing, laying shirtless on the beach, pretty people and dollar bills. Who doesn't like money and women, though?"
"Gay anarchists." Chef flatly replies, writing on a notepad.
"Analists?"
"Just move on, dummy. Dislikes."
"Ug- I-I mean, I don't like insensitive people. They're.. You know.. Insensitive. Can we wrap this up?"
"Favorite food?"
"I like caviar." He shrugs.
"Dream job?"
"Livin' it, baby."
"Modeling? Really?"
"It's the easiest and most profitable job you can get by doing absolutely nothing. Women and men want you, boys wanna be you, girls write fanfiction about you, it's great! You feel like a real winner. The worst part is the controversy but with a little apology here and a little charity there, everybody forgets. As a celebrity, I'm sure you can relate."
"I mean, I've never been canceled before."
"You never will be, Chef. You're far too sensitive and charming." Justin leans forward seductively, clasping his hands together. Chef puts his hands up to settle the situation, flustered.
"..Alright, alright, describe your home life."
"No, describe yours."
He blushes. "...Well, I uh-"
Chris' voice rings out on a walkie talkie. "Hurry up, Chef! This episode is already longer than the other ones. I'm getting cold over here withoutcha."
"Shut up, asshole! I-I gotta go, but.. Will you write me?" Chef questions, leaning forward to match the models energy.
"I'll call you, baby." Justin winks.
"Hehe.." Chef pulls out of his seat, walking towards the Boat of Losers. Justin looks at the camera and grins devilishly one last time, his teeth shimmering in the lens.
Credits Continue