Happy new year! Hope it doesn't decide to fuck us in the ass like the previous ones. Enjoy!
Chapter 15 - Sun, Please, Explode
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Heavy eyes from deep sleep slowly opened, muscles so relaxed they were heavy to move. A deep yawn escaped his lips as he stretched his body on the rough tree behind him. This was the best sleep Nathan had had in months-
He froze, going so still his lungs stopped working for a moment. No dream. No faces, no feelings of vague familiarity and pain. There was nothing. Only silence.
Deep, blissful, unsettling silence.
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Nathan jumped to his feet, head swimming in the static on dancing across his eyes. His gaze swerved around his surroundings. He was still in the forest, where he had apparently gotten the best sleep since he could remember.
"Whree!"
He twisted on the spot to look at the sound that penetrated the buzzing in his ears, ready to flee or fight or do something.
A thestral stood in front of him, slowly approaching with wings beating gently, as if in greeting. Nathan bowed in reflex.
The creature reached the weary boy and nuzzled his chest, asking for attention. Nathan obliged, absentmindedly caressing the hard hide of the being. Calm reached him, but was too inconsequential in the stormy sea of emotions he was feeling.
What time is it? The sun was high in the air, bleeding through the canopy of the tall trees. He took his watch out of his pocket, and gazed with disbelief at the time.
12 hours. More than half a day since his talk with Luna. No wonder his body felt so bizarrely rested. I slept for more than 12 hours.
With a parting pet at the beast and a promise to return, Nathan grabbed his bag and set out back to the castle
The forest was quiet, no wind rustling the leaves or animals running about, his footsteps the only sound in the vicinity. He refused to acknowledge the infernal ringing that only seemed to grow with each step. His eyes had other ideas, as they kept swerving left to right, fear clear to see in them, as he tried to anticipate the illusions they knew would appear at any moment.
None came.
He was out of the forest, the sun blinding him and illuminating the entrance to the looming castle all at once. He stepped out of the haven of the trees, crossing the path to-
"-on't you think so, Achilles?"
His head turned fast enough to crack his neck as he looked back at the forest, trying to find a voice he knew had no body.
The shimmering form of a centaur greeted him. He felt something explode within his mind, a feeling so strong and powerful he couldn't tell what it was. From the shaking in his body, he could hazard a guess.
Nathan turned around, desperately running to the castle.
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Students walked the hall like in any other day, the anxiety in their demeanor the only outlier. Breakfast was about to end, and the first test of the day was about to begin. People talked with their friends, muttered notes to themselves, and cried loudly about their impending failure.
It was all muted.
Underwater. That's what his head felt like, as he heard their voices distant, in spite of being all around him. Static danced around their forms, stuck to them like dust and obscuring most of their details, making all an indistinguishable shape.
"Hihi!"
"Avoid Guarma!"
"The angel is over here Mr Bubbles!"
The voices were clear, as if whispered and shouted directly into his eardrums. In the shadows of people he could see shapes of men and women, children and monsters, clearer to see than anything else, in spite of their see-through form.
They were faceless and obscured by shadows, but he could see their every detail with nauseating clarity. Like their forms were burned into his mind, his soul. (He knew that in a way, they were.)
Nathan started running, his psyche unable to take anymore. He rushed up the steps of the grand staircase and spoke the password with ragged breath, not even hearing the worried question of the guardian in the painting. He shoved the door to the dorm open, and rushed across the thankfully empty room to the bathroom.
His trembling hands splashed water that was supposed to be cold on his face, and vigorously rubbed his eyes. His body was becoming numb. He could feel it, spreading slowly, from the tips of his fingers and going up his arm. He rested his palms on the basin, and hesitantly raised his gaze to the mirror.
Nathan didn't recognize the face staring back at him. Just like the day this all started, all those days passed.
Dark black bags under his eyes stood on a face so pale and drawn one could think he was dying. The red around his eyelids, nose and mouth only made the contrast more sickly to look at.
"It's my lucky charm, be sure to bring it back to me!"
He jumped away from the sink with a choked gasp, hands flying away from the cold stone as if burned. He rushed out of the bathroom and the room, leaving the apparition in the mirror on its lonesome.
People he hadn't noticed before loitered around, most probably studying for the test that would start soon. Nathan hurried through the room and out the door, ignoring all the shadows and whispers.
"Nate!"
He jumped at the shout, turning in fright to see Hermione coming out the painting and approaching him. He took a deep breath and forced himself to look as normal as he could manage.
"Is everything all right?" Her voice was muffled, the details on her face blurry and grainy until she stepped closer. Her hand gently reached for his face, touch soft as she traced the dark circles in his eye. Goosebumps traveled down his spine.
"I'm fine." His voice came out weak and raspy, as if unused and sick. He could clearly see the disbelief in the girl's face. "Had to pull some all-nighters for these tests."
"I already told you to take better care of yourself!"
"I'm sorry. I'm just really nervous." The partial truth fell from his lips. He had been nervous when the first of the exams came up. Before his sleep every night had become almost non-existent and shadows started dancing and talking in the hallways.
He snapped out of his thoughts and saw the girl had stepped closer to him. There was a deep emotion swimming in her eyes, and he felt his heart ache gazing at them. "Are you okay?" She asked again, words a whisper of pure concern.
"Everything will be okay. I promise."
"I am. I prom-promise." His voice trembled as he tried his hardest to ignore the shade of the man standing behind the girl. From the corner of his eye, he could see the look in his eye. The lack of conviction in his words. Nathan knew the feeling.
She kept looking deep into his eyes, and he could see she didn't believe him. He felt his heart ache painfully for another beat. She stepped closer and hugged him with all the strength she had, his arms going around her warm body. He shut his eyes forcefully, afraid of the man looking at him. Afraid of letting his tears fall.
They walked down the steps towards the room where the test would be held, Hermione talking about the exams that had already passed. He nodded and talked when needed, but his focus was on the numbness spreading across his body.
Wishing 'good luck' to each other, they took their seat in the classroom, Hermione at the front and Nathan at the back. In no time the exam started, words he'd studied but couldn't focus on were written on the page.
He spent more time with his eyes flitting across the room fearfully then writing down answers.
With some questions left blank, he left the classroom, the ghosts still following him.
His stomach ached with hunger, and he realized it had been a long time since he had last eaten. He rushed to the great hall, sitting down in his usual place by the end of the table.
The great hall was full, students talking and moaning about their exams. Their voices were still muffled, shapes blurred as if slightly out of focus. Nathan kept his head down and took a bite of his food.
"This coffee… it's…"
"Blergh!"
His hand flew to his mouth as he felt bile rise up his throat. He forced his eyes shut, unwilling to let them stray to the apparition he could feel sat beside him. He took a drink of water, and the liquid went down tasting like coffee and nostalgia.
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He stood abruptly, banging his numb body on the table and rattling the plates. One hand snatched his bag as the other tried to keep his mouth closed. He ran out of the hall, uncaring if anyone paid attention.
His shoulder forced the bathroom door open, as he stumbled and tripped into one of the stalls.
"Bleeeeeergggh!"
Vomit rushed forcefully from his mouth and nose, burning as it went. His chest hurt and his throat ache, but the liquid kept coming and coming, even when he had run out of breath.
The bile stopped, and he took great, greedy gulps of air. Tears fell from his eyes, mixing with the mess in the toilet.
He stood on shaky legs, wiping his mouth with his sleeve, before exiting the stall and going to one of the sinks. As he rinsed his mouth with water and splashed some on his face, he couldn't help but morbidly notice how similar this was to the day of the second task.
"Well, hello there~!"
His muscles constricted, and he turned in place and marched out the door, pigtails and glasses in the corner of his vision.
Students walked about when he stepped outside, going in all directions to their next exams, voices that were supposed to be loud no more than whispers in his ears.
Head to the floor, Nathan pulled his watch out and checked the time. Less than an hour for the next test. Time was flying by, and it still felt like the day was dragging on and on.
With a sigh, he raised his head and took a step-
"Are you ready for the charms exam?"
"No one would miss me…"
"It's hopeless!"
"I-i can't remember, not a thing, only… I feel…"
"Which classroom was it again?"
"It would mean a lot to me… Please."
Air got stuck in his throat as his chest constricted, numbness reaching all parts of his body at once. His wide open eyes roved the hall, full with students and ghosts or visions or hallucinations or illusions-
He felt dizzy and faint as he braced on the wall, eyes unable to move from his dreams that now walked alongside him, looking the same as in his nights. Breath started entering his lungs again, the pain the action brought going unnoticed through the numbness.
He forced himself to move, gaze to the floor, as he hurried to his next exam, mind on the brink of collapse as he tried to hold on to a sliver of sanity.
He rushed through the door, not even checking if the teacher was already there, sitting at the far end of the room by the wall.
His body shook like a leaf, hands holding the table with a white knuckled grip while his arms spasmed sporadically. His mind ran in circles, thoughts rushing through at disorienting speeds.
A piece of parchment was settled on his table and he struggled not to jump out of his seat as he saw the professor walking away. Trembling hands reached for his quill, ink splats falling all over the table.
He was unable to focus, the words he tried to read getting lost amidst the whispers around him. His handwriting came out scratchier than normal as he answered whatever he could.
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His arm was made of metal, twisted and bent into a facsimile of a normal appendage. It was heavy and unnatural, and it was shaking uncontrollably.
He blinked
The skin on his other arm was burned to the point of being ash and cinders, completely gray in some parts. Glowing veins of yellow and orange and blue ran up to his shoulder, alight with power, as if magma ran underneath his skin. His arm shook more.
He blinked.
Fire danced in his hand, lazily swaying with the nonexistent wind. There was no pain, neither was there warmth. Nothing burned. Not even him. His arms trembled furiously.
He blinked.
His left arm was gone. There was nothing there to shake.
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He couldn't breathe, a scream of anguish choking him. Crazed eyes flitted about fearfully. Shadows moved and talked to the air, and he needed to get out, now!
Adrenaline flooded his system, hands becoming steady and mind gaining a sharp focus. He jotted down the answers with haste after reading the questions and deliberating the answer for less than ten seconds. Most of it would be wrong. As he rose and put his test on the teachers desk, he found he couldn't care less.
He rushed out of the classroom, wandering through the throng of students, tripping in his own feet. His body felt cold and burning at the same time, limbs feeling foreign in their sockets. He couldn't feel the tip of his fingers, numb like when he had played joyously in the snow.
"Those questions were killer!"
"Do mind your manners around your charming bride-to-be."
"That was ridiculously easy!"
"But whatever happens, you can't fall in love with me."
"These exams are going to be the death of me."
"I tend to the flame, and tend to thee."
His feet moved on their own, weaving his body through people with no grace, hands covering his ears in vain.
"Just one more day, and we'll be free!"
"There was once… A very difficult patient."
"I won't touch a single book during vacation, I swear!"
"Do you believe in destiny?"
He ran, stumbling through people, shadows on the walls morphing into familiar faces. All speaking. All looking at him, as if expecting him to talk back.
"Last night, I dreamt I was drowning in flashcards."
"See the sunset… the day is ending…
"I should have taken that job as a cookbook when I had the chance."
"I am honestly afraid of what my mum will say."
"Can we… be friends?""
"Got it memorized?"
"Whichever you choose, you are wrong."
Please. He begged as tears fell freely, desperation in every move he made to avert his eyes from the dreams that walked beside him. Make it stop.
"What a terrible day for rain."
"I'm going to be the first. Swear it!"
"There are as many ways to view the world as there are people in it."
"There was once… A very difficult patient."
"Why do I desire the touch of something that no longer exists?"
"This I want to believe implicitly: Man was born for love and revolution."
"No man can walk out on his own story."
"You have your own motives, your own desires. And we have ours. I fear it really is just that simple."
"Humankind cannot gain anything, without first giving something in return"
"A future is not given to you. It is something you must take for yourself."
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Everything stopped
Dilated eyes roved the area, and he acutely felt every sensation on his body. Muscles tensing. The wind hitting him. His heart beating erratically.
Nathan didn't dare move, silence enveloping the surroundings so deeply he felt like the all stood still for only a moment.
.
…
…..
And then the world shifted.
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His eyes closed as a primal fear surged in his gut. He could feel the earth moving beneath him, as if suddenly titled on the wrong axis. It was small, insignificant, almost unnoticeable and it was wrong wrong WRONG!
Numbness spread from his chest to his whole body, control slowly slipping from him. His ears rang and even through his closed eyelids he could see the static.
He felt his eyes open.
The world lay in ruins before him, tones of gray covering everything. Dead trees created a decaying forest around the dark lake. The castle around him stood on broken pieces, parts of the low wall in front of him turned to dust.
The sky bled red, illuminating the ashes that fell like snow, coating everything it touched in death.
He saw it all through the corner of his eyes, his gaze locked on the all consuming thing in the sky.
A black circle that seemed to grow with every moment, the sky around it being pulled and bent around its will. A ring of fire burned on its edges, movement more like blazing magma.
The light in which the sun drowns. The whisper of information sounded mocking to his ears, the nature of what he was seeing rushing into his brain, but becoming no less understandable.
It was terrifying.
But he couldn't look away.
His eyes blinked, and it all changed.
Blue overtook red, and all stood still, the ashes stopping mid fall. Still he stared into the abyss, and it gazed right back.
Control seemed to come back to Nathan, and everything became so much more real all at once. He looked around him frantically, fearing any apparitions. He looked left and there was nothing. He looked right, and there was nothing. He looked left again-
A man stood, a king with his blue glowing cape, gazing at the dying sun.
He looked right again.
Two men; One with a gigantic sword, a glowing blue ribbon tied around his arm, the other with a cowboy hat, blue bandanna around his neck. Both looked at the sky with blank faces.
He looked left once more.
Three men besides the first, no expression as they looked at the black hole.
Left again.
More people.
Right again.
Even more people.
He felt his gaze being dragged back to the hole in the sky, as if pulling his face with its own invisible hands. The men were silent around him, not moving a single muscle, not making a single sound.
Nathan felt someone stop beside him. From the corner of his eyes he could see a man looking at the sky, just like the others. He felt something different from this one, something wrong.
Slowly, so slowly, his eyes moved from the dark sun and went to the man beside him, as if his pull was stronger than even the end in the horizon.
The man stood with back straight, shoulders relaxed, his shirt and shorts dirty and riddled with tears and holes. A long piece of fabric coiled around his ashen arm, its glowing blue end wrapped around his hand. It swayed with a nonexistent breeze.
But it was his face that froze him in his spot, chills traveling down his spine. Green eyes rimmed blue glowed with an intensity to rival the fire in the sky, illuminating a weary face.
A face that was his own.
The man turned to him, glowing eyes showing no reaction, and it was like staring at his reflection in the mornings, the exhausted countenance horrifyingly accurate.
The man kept staring, and the scarf around Nathan's neck felt warm. He could see the other men further ahead, now all looking at him. He turned around, and those men too, were watching him. All of their blue cloths glowing.
All of their faces the same as his own.
The ringing in his ears built up all of a sudden. The static in his vision slowly spread and took up all he saw. The world danced around him as his head pulsed with pain, tears mixing with the blood of his nose as he swayed. And still the men all looked at him.
His hands flew to his head, suddenly feeling like it would split in two. His body lost strength, and he fell to his knees to the ash below. Static completely overtok his vision as he fell forward to the ground.
"Nate!"
"NATE!"
"NATE!"
Everything became white, and he heard a scream of agony as his throat seemed to tear itself.
Then the world became black.