Chapter 17 - Falling fast asleep, May this little boy find blissfull dreams
…..riiiiiii-
"Today, we acknowledge… A really terrible loss."
Nathan sat at the great hall, eyes downcast, surrounded by grief. Not a sound was heard other than the headmaster's words and the single girl crying.
"Cedric Diggory was murdered… By Lord Voldemort! The Ministry does not wish me to tell you…"
Red, cruel eyes appeared in his mind, haunting on an inhuman face. Its gaze was everywhere, from all angles. It was inescapable. A sinister sneer completed the face of a monster, sending fear pulsing through his body.
"In light of recent events, the bonds of friendship we've made this year will be more important than ever!"
He raised his head, flabbergasted eyes looking at the headmaster at the pedestal for the first time since his speech started.
"Remember that, and Cedric Diggory will not have died in vain!"
But he did… His eyes turned to the bespectacled boy beside him, bruised and hurt and shaking in fear and anger. His gaze fell back to his own hands, tremulous with his own rage that threatened to burn into an inferno at the pretty words that didn't help his friend deal with his grief.
"...And we'll celebrate a boy, who was kind and honest, and brave and true, right to the very end…"
He glared at the headmaster, anger slowly fizzling down into pure disappointment. Harry's about to break like glass, and all you can offer is this? Weave poetry using his blood as ink?
A clearing glowing blue with dark blood flashed through his mind, and all the energy left him at once, body sagging in his seat and eyes closing with a sudden tiredness. All that blood was never once beautiful. It was just red…
Nathan walked through the empty halls, the silence so deep his breath echoed. Shadows danced on corners with the setting sun, but he felt no fear, too drained to feel it.
His guitar was perched on his shoulder as he lazily went back to his dorm, so it could go 'home' with the rest of his things. Wherever that is.
Voices drifted through the window from outside as he checked his trunk one final time. Students from all schools stood on the courtyard, mingling like they never had in the rest of the year. With a sigh, he put his bag on his shoulder, tightened the scarf around his neck, and started his path to the ground floor.
On the door leading to the outside Viktor Krum stood, his countenance seeming worse than usual. Somehow, Nathan noticed the difference. He was less surly, more somber. He couldn't blame him.
The man noticed him as he approached, a tired smile appearing in his face as he offered his hand. Nathan shook it firmly, before being roughly pulled in for a hug, the strong man patting his back with forceful slaps.
"Take care, my friend." He stepped back, one hand still on Nathan's shoulder. "I vill miss you." He said in a softer voice, smile less strained and eyes lighter.
"I'll keep running." Nathan said, raising his fist. "Well see if I can beat you next time we meet."
The man looked at him, not understanding, before his smile grew until he started laughing, tension bleeding from his frame. He fist bumped Nathan, a genuine smile now on his face.
"Ve'll see about that, Vinter man!" He said as he walked away, shoulders squared and gait steady.
Nathan stepped outside, imitating the man that went before him the best he could, but his shoulders felt heavy and feet weak. The cacophony of voices assaulted him, ears ringing with pain. He changed path to a more secluded area.
A single person stood by the edge, looking out into the boat floating in the water. He didn't need to get close to know it was Harry. He stopped his stride, hesitating to approach, unsure of what to say. What could he say?
What can one do when faced with such heavy loss, but breathe a weary sigh, for the world is a little quieter now. The whisper came softly, his own voice echoing in his head, urging him to speak the words.
"Fuckin' hypocrite." Nathan muttered to himself, before finding the courage to approach his friend.
He slowly put his hand on the boy's shoulder, afraid to startle him. He didn't shift, too distracted to feel it. "Harry." Nathan said softly, and his friend finally turned to him. For a moment he could see all the misery hiding behind his glasses, before it was hidden. Nathan saw through it, the same way he saw past the reflection in the mirrors that seemed more like windows.
"I'll write to you this summer." Nathan said, shaking Harry's shoulder slightly, trying to convey all he couldn't say through his eyes. "And you're gonna write back."
Harry kept looking at him, as if in a daze, saying nothing. Finally, he nodded, and Nathan brought him to a surprise hug. "We're gonna get through this." He whispered to his friend, and felt Harry's breath hitch.
Nathan stepped back to see a crack in the mask holding the emotions back, his own heart shattering a little more at what he saw. He walked away in silence, ashamed of not being stronger to help his friend.
"Nathan!"
He raised his head and saw a blur barreling into him. He steadied himself on the wall behind him, recognizing the familiar warmth hugging him.
"Was that really necessary?" He reluctantly pushed the girl away, wanting nothing more than to lose all strength in her arms.
"Promise me you'll write this time!" The sense of deja vú hit him hard, but not as hard as how frantic she looked in spite of trying her hardest to hide it. Fear was clearly reflected in her usually warm brown eyes. He did not know if It was hers or his. Why am I always worrying her?
"Hey! I did write to you last time!" His indignation was clearly a joke, but it failed to calm the girl.
"Promise me!" Hermione said desperately, looking even more frazzled. His heart ruptured more. " Please…"
With no hesitation he stepped forward, engulfing the girl in a hug. Hermione stilled, before throwing her arms around him. "I will." He felt her squeezing him tighter, to the point of hurting. All he did was rub her hair softly. "I promise."
For a long moment they stood in each others arms, finding comfort in the warmth. A mourning boy watching the sea appeared in his mind, a sharp pain in his chest following it.
He stepped back, keeping his hands on Hermione. "Go talk to Harry." He said, nodding in the direction he was. The girl nodded, kissing him softly on the cheek and gazing deeply into his eyes.
He watched her walk away, back straight and steps sure, turning a corner and vanishing from sight.
His hand fell from his cheek as he squared his shoulder and started walking to the rest of the students. His steps still felt unsteady.
The sound in the courtyard had diminished greatly, the students from the foreign schools having already left, and the ones from Hogwarts now heading to the carriages. Nathan followed them.
"Are you all right?" The soft words came from his right, and he turned to see Neville walking alongside him, countenance sad just like his other friends.
"I am." He reassured his friend, his smile coming out forced and fake. "And you?" He asked the shy boy, patting him on the back.
"I-I think so." The tall boy said, rubbing his arm as if cold. Nathan felt his smile become genuine, somehow happy for the boy's stutter at the moment.
They walked in silence, following the line of people. At one point Neville joined the rest of their roommates, Leaving Nathan to his own thoughts.
"Whreeee!"
The familiar sound broke his reverie, his gaze falling on the gentle creatures. He approached the front of a carriage, softly caressing the beings as they whined and leaned closer to him. He could feel his heart trying to mend itself.
"I think you would make a fine magizoologist."
Nathan turned his gaze up to the girl sitting on the carriage, her wide eyes looking warmly at him. He felt happiness as he saw them shining with mirth and not pain.
"Your drawings could bring a new depth to species documentation." Luna continued rambling as he climbed on board, settling himself across from her. "Oh, we could publish our drawings in the quibbler!"
The smile on his lips slipped from him as understanding of what she was doing hit him like a punch. Even her usually dreamy gaze wasn't enough to hide it from him. The seams in his slowly repairing heart split open.
He leaned forwards, gently taking her hand in his. "I'll send you some drawings during the summer." He smiled softly, not hiding his own agitation. Luna's excited expression faded, a wobbly smile taking its place.
They spoke no more, listening to the sounds the thestrals made, still not letting go of each other.
The carriage stopped, the sounds of students talking reappearing, but being drowned by the steam engine. Nathan helped Luna down, as they went to pet and say goodbye to the creatures.
The whimsical girl pulled him along, weaving through people to enter the train. She kept pulling his arm, Nathan struggling to keep up, until she suddenly stopped, pulling a door open and plopping down on a seat.
A sigh escaped his lips as he forced himself to relax on the seats. It became easier once he saw Luna reading a book starting from the last page.
He lazily watched the students walking about through the window, the plush seat enveloping him, as if he were sitting in a cloud.
With the blink of an eye the scenery changed, mountains filling the distance outside.
A spike of fear passed through him as he sat up, head snapping to the inside of the compartment. Luna was still there, finishing closing her book. She looked at him, a question clear on her face. He shook his head with a smile, relief flooding him. The girl shrugged and stood up, stepping out of their room.
Nathan turned back to the window, settling back on his seat. His eyes followed the crest of the hills, up and down, up and down, as the train moved.
He slowly relaxed, once more feeling like he was sinking into his seat.
…rrriiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Muscles seized as his eyes opened wide, slowly watching grains of sand fill his vision, creeping in from the corners. His hands gripped the seat in between his legs with all he had, nails biting into the material.
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Static eclipsed all, to the point it was impossible to distinguish the mountains from the sky. The chugging of the train faded, an infernal ringing overtaking it. He felt his strength seeping from his body slowly, like blood through his fingers, until all he felt was nothing.
His body sagged, sat like a puppet with its strings cut, his hands hanging limply in front of the destroyed part of the seat.
Gravity pulled his suddenly heavy eyelids down, lower and lower, until he could resist no more. With all his might he tried to will them open, a slight fluttering being all that happened.
The sound of waves reached his ears, and finally his eyes responded, sluggishly blinking open. Water filled the bottom of the train, almost up to his knees. Fish swam around, one of them touching the tips of his fingers. His eyes turned to the window.
There was only blue. The blue of the ocean, the blue of the sky, and the blue where their blue met.
Part of him was filled with terror that slowly unraveled his very soul. Another part felt at peace, at home. The contradictions battled for dominance, accomplishing only in worsening the migraine behind his eyes.
A dark shape appeared on the horizon, slowly growing.
He kept looking through the grain, trying to comprehend what he was seeing with his muted brain. The shape did not wait for him.
When it was big enough to block some clouds he finally understood; It was a wave, not getting bigger, but getting closer!
As if encouraged by his epiphany, the tidal wave started moving faster, the roaring of the ocean growing louder.
The dread in his gut roared and surged, threatening to erupt like a volcano and take his body with it.
He still couldn't move.
The sound was deafening, threatening to kill him before the ocean could. The wave was right upon him, occluding all outside light and bathing the compartment in darkness.
The wave touched the window.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Everything stopped
The static vanished, the sound lowered. All was still.
In the dark glass, he saw his reflection.
His eyes glowed, the blue ring around his pupil shining brightly like a star.
Static overtook his vision once more, but not obscuring any of the details around him. As if sitting like a transparent veil.
His face was different, somehow more weary. His hair was longer, his clothes were different. A path of ashen skin trailed up one of his cheeks, reaching an eye.
He blinked.
Everything started moving once more. He numbly watched the wave approach the train, the deafening roar assaulting him once more.
A whisper in his voice seemed to bounce around the compartment, coming from somewhere but not from him.
" I must prepare to swim. If I don´t, I will drown. I still do not know which option terrifies me most."
The wave broke the window. Glass rained down like snow and ash. Nathan watched it all, eyes unblinking.
The ocean hit him, and he blacked out.
An account on AO3 wanted me to list what games/books/anime/manga/movies the dreams in the chapters were referencing. So here's a list if anyone is interested.
Chapter 2 - Death stranding, normal delivery
Chapter 3 - Red Dead Redemption 2, talk with the nun
Chapter 4 - Bioshock 1, saving first little sister
Chapter 5 - Kingdom Hearts 1, destiny islands
Chapter 6 - Bloodborne, little girl quest
Chapter 7 - Dark Souls 1, Gwyn battle
Chapter 8 - RWBY, Coeur Al'Aran's "not this time fate"
Chapter 9 - Koe no Katachi, Nyishimiya and shoya suicide attempt
Chapter 10 - Tokyo Ghoul, Kaneki carrying Hide's body
Chapter 11 - Final Fantasy XV, Noctis saying goodbye
Chapter 12 - Final Fantasy 7: Crisis Core, Zack's Death
Chapter 13 - Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, Ed healing himself
Chapter 14 - Sekiro, First and Last battle against Genichiro