- Chapter 91 -

The Moons of Thalos 3

The Ulixes spiraled out of control, Professor Honeycutt doing everything he could to keep things stable.

"I recommend we take plunging into the lethal, crushing gravity of that gas giant philosophically," the robotic scientist remarked.

"Meaning?" Mikey asked.

"It means WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEEE!"

They slammed into another ship on the way down, crashing into the moon's surface. Everyone was thrown all across the ship on impact before Leo poked his head out of his shell.

"Okay," he said. "Everyone who's not dead, sound off."

He was met with a chorus of pained groans.

"I hate space," April grumbled, standing up. "I really, really do."

"Now I know what a redshirt feels like," Hisako added as a piece of the ceiling broke off and fell on her head. "Ow."

Mikey had landed sprawled all over Kagome. He put a finger to his lips. "Shh, don't tell Raph. You know how jealous he gets."

Kagome just shoved him off before sitting up. Raph helped Donnie up, while Vee pulled herself out from under Casey and Splinter rose to his feet, dusting himself off.

"Is everyone alright?" the rat ninja asked.

"Well, we survived the crash, so there's that," Vee remarked. "How's it looking, Professor Honeycutt?"

Honeycutt looked over the cockpit controls, which were sparking and sputtering. "If I had to categorize our situation, it would fall somewhere between 'probably doomed' and 'unequivocally doomed'."

"So business as usual for us," Donnie remarked, picking up his normal staff to see it snapped in half. "Oh, come on!"

"Where are we?" Leo asked Honeycutt.

"One of the moons of the planet Thalos 3," Honeycutt answered. "Temperatures here are negative 180 degrees Celsius."

"Just how cold is that?" Mikey questioned.

"Cold enough that cold-blooded reptiles like ourselves would be toast if we stepped foot out there," Donnie replied.

" Anything that stepped foot out there would be toast," Kagome amended.

"There's no need to worry about that," Honeycutt assured. "Your Enviro Packs also protect against extreme cold."

"For how long?" Leo asked.

"Well... we have three hours of oxygen and heat to repair the ship so we can recharge," Honeycutt replied.

"The real question is do we have what we need to repair the ship?" Hisako piped up.

"It just so happens that the materials I need, irrilium metal, are on this moon," Honeycutt informed them. "But we'll have to go out and look for it."

"You want us to go out there in that frozen wasteland and find what you need?" Casey asked incredulously.

"Well, it's either that, or we wait around for three hours until we freeze or suffocate," Hisako retorted.

"And what if the Triceratons follow us here?" Mikey asked. "I mean, April doesn't even have a weapon, and I doubt Casey will get very far with just his hockey gear."

"Luckily I already have a solution for Mr. Jones," Professor Honeycutt chimed in. "I was working on it while you were in Peblak. As for Miss O'Neil, is there any weapon in particular that you desire?"

April thought it over, then nodded. "Honestly, I think a tessen would be my best bet."

Hisako glanced back at April, a look of annoyance crossing her face. Despite this, she remained silent and managed to hide it before April noticed. Honeycutt popped into his workstation, the sound of machinery at work filling the ship for a few minutes before he returned with a second set of hi-tech tessen. These ones were a golden color instead of green and didn't have the crest. For Casey, he handed the boy a set of white hockey pucks and a hi-tech stick.

"What're these?" the boy asked, shaking the pucks.

Donnie examined them. "They kinda remind me of your firecracker pucks."

"Photon pucks," Honeycutt clarified. "More explosive yield."

"Sweet!" Casey cheered, grinning.

"Alright, let's suit up and get out there," Leo ordered. "We've wasted enough time already."

They all exited the ship and almost immediately began shivering, Hisako holding Midnight close to her chest.

"Even in this suit, it's freaking cold!" April exclaimed.

"Pretty sure my shell froze to my butt," Mikey remarked.

Honeycutt searched around, his eyes extending slightly as he scanned the environment. Soon, he found what he was looking for.

"Perfect!" he exclaimed. "I found the motherload of irrilium. Ten klicks this way!"

"Then we best get moving," said Splinter. "I do not wish for any of us to get caught in this frigid climate."

"Yeah," said Mikey. "I'd hate to get caught by some kinda space yeti."

"Michelangelo, that's nonsense," said Honeycutt. "This moon is made of methane ice. No life could survive here."

"No offense Professor, but we usually try not to say stuff like that," Hisako informed him. "'Cause, it usually comes back to bite us in the ass."

"Yeah," Kagome added. "That's a surefire invitation for something horrible to come get us if I ever heard one."

"Let's move, people!" Leo cut in.

-X-

Everyone began making the trek to the irrilium, but it wasn't long before the cold began to get to them.

"So cold…" Vee let out.

"I'll just… imagine myself somewhere warm…" Raph muttered, rubbing his hands.

"It's totally normal to start laughing when you're cold, right?" Donnie asked, beginning to laugh crazily.

The others looked on in concern.

"What's wrong with them?" April asked.

"They're cold-blooded," Kagome reminded her. "It's like what happened to them that one blizzard Mom and Splinter mentioned. The Turtles played in the snow, then when they got back, they started going crazy and passed out for a month."

"Think we should have left them on the ship?" Hisako questioned. "I mean, we can ill afford for them to take a month-long hibernation, and loopy turtles are useless turtles."

"What, and make it so we're the only ones freezing our asses off?" Casey retorted.

"It's just a little snow and ice," Leo replied. "We've survived worse."

"Leo... not even the arctic is this cold," Donnie pointed out. "We have literally never had to deal with something like this."

"Okay, that settles it," Kagome decided. "As soon as we get what the Professor needs to repair the ship, I'm using that Think-A-Food gizmo to whip us all up a nice cup of hot chocolate. We're gonna need it after this."

"I admit a cup of hot tea sounds delightful," Splinter added.

They stopped before a massive cliff and Honeycutt looked up, scanning it.

"The irrilium is somewhere on that ice peak," Honeycutt informed them.

"Aw yeah! Let's get it!" Mikey cheered. "Follow me!"

He started running, but the ice was so slick beneath his feet that he just found himself running in place. Eventually, his feet slipped out from under him and he face-planted.

"Dude, leave it to the ice master." Casey boasted before sliding forward, skating like a natural.

"Showoff," Mikey grumbled, picking himself up.

Hisako and April both perked up, sensing something approaching.

"You feel that too, don't you?" April asked Hisako.

Hisako nodded, pulling out her tessen with one hand. "Crash course in tessen warfare. Extend, then throw like a frisbee."

They extended and threw their tessen, which zipped behind a rock and knocked two figures out and onto the ground. The group looked them over, recognizing them as Salamandrians.

"Newtralizers?!" Mikey exclaimed.

"Salamandarians," Hisako corrected as the two aliens stood up. "Who are you?"

"I am Commander G'Throkka of the Salamandrian military," he replied. "This is my partner Y'Gythgba."

"You downed our ship and dishonored us!" Y'Gythgba hissed, brandishing a sword. "Now you will fight us!"

"Crap…" Donnie realized. "They were on the ship we crashed into on our way down here."

"We didn't intend to damage your ship," Leo told them. "We had taken heavy fire from the Triceratons and were spiraling out of control."

"Look, Commander G'Throat… G'Frock…" Vee sighed. "Mikey?"

"Sal Commander!" Mikey called out. "He's a salamander, and he's a commander so-"

"Yes, I get it, thank you," Vee interrupted before turning back to the newly dubbed Sal Commander. "We don't want any trouble. It was an accident."

"Do you truly wish to waste time fighting us, when death lurks behind us on this moon with every step we take?" Splinter asked.

"Silence, offworlder!" Y'Gythgba snapped. "You will not dishonor us with your lies!"

"Listen, lady!" Raph shot back. "We don't wanna fight you. You're outnumbered!"

"Numbers mean nothing," Y'Gythgba retorted. "I do not fear you or your friends."

Hisako rolled her eyes. "You're definitely a Salamandrian. The definition of stupid stubborn."

Y'Gythgba scowled. "You dare speak to me that way, Terran?!"

"Hey, hey, hey! Stop!" Leo exclaimed, standing between them. "What's more important? A pointless fight, or escaping this freezer alive?"

Y'Gythgba immediately backhanded Leo aside, sending him slamming into the cliff wall.

"Well… that answers that," he groaned.

"Stay away from me, Gamaron!" Y'Gythgba shouted.

"You bitch!" Hisako shouted, seeing red. "Nobody hurts my brother!"

She charged Y'Gythgba and they clashed, the psychic fighting with one arm while still holding Midnight in the other. Vee sighed before drawing her new kamas.

"You try to be reasonable…" she muttered.

With that, a full-scale brawl broke out between the two parties. Sal Commander drew his weapon, trying to hit Hisako, only for Casey to hit him with a photon puck.

"Get your own fight, lizard lips!" he shouted.

"Those who dishonor us shall be destroyed!" Y'Gythgba declared as she clashed with Hisako.

"You got some imagination, sister!" Kagome shot back, jumping into the fray.

Raph jumped Y'Gythgba from behind, only to be swatted aside by her tail. He landed, feeling his jaw and looking starstruck.

"Never been hit like that before," he muttered. "It was kinda… nice."

Kagome overheard that and looked at him in surprise. Sal Commander took advantage of her distraction, grabbing her by her hair and yanking her back.

"Foolish Terran," he remarked. "Never let yourself get distracted in battle!"

Splinter's walking stick collided with his face, forcing him to release his grip on Kagome's hair.

"You should take your own advice," the rat sensei informed him.

Out of the blue, blaster shots rang out, getting everyone's attention. They turned to see Honeycutt standing there, smoking laser blasters protruding from his wrists.

"I am a pacifist," the robot declared, "but even pacifists have to stand their ground once in a while!"

"Dude, where was that at the beginning of this whole mess?!" Mikey demanded.

"All of you listen!" Honeycutt ordered, ignoring Mikey. "In a few short hours, your oxygen and heat will run out, and you will die in the cold! And here you are, using up your air fighting!"

"Perhaps the robot is right," Sal Commander allowed. "I have no intention of perishing on this rakka-forsaken moon."

"Okay then," Leo said. "Truce?"

He was about to extend his hand to them, but Honeycutt quickly grabbed his arm.

"No!" he warned. "To Salamandarians, the hand-extended gesture is a declaration of war!"

"Then… what's the Salamandarian gesture of truce?" Leo asked.

The Professor crossed both of his arms over his chest, bowing slightly. Splinter repeated the gesture, the others quickly following suit. Sal Commander repeated the gesture himself, as did Y'Gythgba after some hesitation.

"Excellent," said Honeycutt. "Now that the fighting is out of the way, perhaps we should work together to get the irrilium we need."

"Agreed," said Y'Gythgba. "The sooner we get off this moon, the sooner we can return to dealing with the Triceratons."

-X-

They all made their way up the peak, Honeycutt leading, and Raph and Kagome taking up the rear.

"Maybe these Salamandrians aren't so bad," Raph mused. "The lizard girl seems pretty cool."

"She tried to kill us, and called Master Splinter an offworlder," Kagome reminded him. "Not to mention how she punched Leo out when he tried to reason with her."

"She's a good fighter, and seems honorable."

Kagome stopped, looking at him. "The cold really is getting to you, Raph."

"What? What do you have against Y- Y'Gyth…" He sighed, turning to Y'Gythgba. "Hey, mind if I give you a name?"

"If you must," Y'Gythgba replied.

"Back on Earth, there's this painting of, like, the most beautiful woman in art and stuff. Um, so how about if I call you Mona Lisa?"

Kagome gagged behind the newly christened Mona's back.

"As you please," Mona decided.

"Dude, nice name," Mikey remarked. "Couldn't have done it better myself."

"So, that's the name you decide to give her," Kagome remarked, her eye twitching slightly. "The 'most beautiful woman in art'."

"It's my favorite painting," Raph replied. "Besides, Mikey would have named her something stupid, and she doesn't deserve that."

"Hey!" Mikey shouted.

"Hmph!" Kagome scoffed, putting on a burst of speed and walking next to Hisako and April. "Just remember who your actual girlfriend is, Raphael."

Raph just blinked at her, confused. "What? What'd I say?"

-X-

They finally made their way to the top of the peak and saw a small metal device glowing on the top, implanted into the ice.

"There!" Honeycutt exclaimed. "That device is made of irrilium."

They looked over the device, Sal Commander the first to realize what it was.

"A Triceraton space mine," he remarked.

"Fuck…" Hisako cursed.

"I take it this makes collecting the irrilium much more difficult," Splinter mused.

Leo glanced over at the Professor. "If we can deactivate this thing, we can use the irrilium to fix our ships, right?"

"Indeed," Honeycutt replied. "But I believe the earth phrase 'easier said than done' comes to mind."

He approached the mine, carefully looking it over and scanning it.

"The irrilium is perfect!" he reported. "It even contains a dark matter regulator. Just what I need to repair the Ulixes' engine."

"Can you tell your robot to work faster?" Mona snapped impatiently. "Honestly, why would you pick a robot with such a large verbal filter."

"That robot's saving our skins," Kagome shot back. "So try and be a little more grateful."

At that moment, they began hearing ominous growls and snarls, causing them all to stiffen.

"Please tell me that isn't a space yeti," Mikey pleaded.

A creature resembling a giant monitor lizard composed of ice emerged from a nearby snow bank, its eyes on them.

"Dragon!" Vee screamed. "It's a fucking ice dragon!"

"See?!" Raph yelled, glaring daggers at the Professor. "This is what happens when you say shit like 'Nothing lives here'!"

"Leo, you have a plan?" Casey demanded.

"Yeah," Leo replied. "Simple and uncomplicated."

-X-

A few minutes later, the group found themselves all running back to the ship and screaming, carefully handling the mine as they went and the ice dragon pursued them.

"Nice plan!" Casey yelled. "Just one problem! I don't think we can fix the ship fast enough to escape that thing!"

They all slipped and found themselves sliding down the mountain. As soon as they reached the bottom, they continued running for the ship. Donnie stopped short, an idea hitting him.

"I got an idea!" he exclaimed. "Casey, give me all your photon pucks!"

Casey tossed him the bag, and he quickly planted the pucks in a line in the ice before pressing buttons on them.

"Now RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" the purple turtle screamed.

They continued to flee, and the ice dragon was caught in the blast, knocking it back. Just as they reached the Ulixes, the Turtles began wavering and collapsed against the side of the hull.

"Oh, no!" Kagome exclaimed, checking the suits. "The power's going down!"

Honeycutt quickly got to work on the mine, carefully cutting it open and finding the dark matter regulator.

"Looks like this is it…" Leo let out. "The big freeze…"

"All of our battles...and this is how we bite it…" Vee muttered.

"Not how I thought we'd go out…" Mikey added, "I gotta say…"

"Stop talking in the past tense!" Hisako shouted. "It's not over yet!"

Honeycutt quickly extracted the dark matter regulator and hurried over to the damaged engine.

"Faster, Zayton…" he said to himself. "Lives are at stake here."

The Salamandrians heard him say "Zayton", but remained focused on trying to keep themselves, and their allies, warm. Honeycutt quickly got to work repairing the ship and installing the regulator, while the others began collapsing as well.

"Well…" Casey let out. "It looks like this is the end."

April snuggled close to him, shivering, while Splinter pulled Hisako closer, Midnight curling up in her lap. Kagome stumbled over to Raph, holding his hand in hers as she slumped down next to him, Mona on his other side.

"Raph…" Kagome began, her teeth chattering, "no matter what happens to us… I j-just want you to know, I-"

"I k-know, Kagome," Raph assured her, putting an arm around her. "Me t-t-too."

"My ch-children…" Splinter let out, closing his eyes.

And that was it. Their world slowly went black…

Sometime later, Raph slowly came to, finding himself looking into the eyes of both Mona and Kagome.

"He's awake!" Kagome exclaimed in relief, the two women helping him up.

Raph looked around, seeing the others slowly coming to as well. They were on board the Ulixes, which had been fully repaired.

"Goodness me!" Honeycutt exclaimed. "That was a close call."

"We're…" Raph began, "we're alive?"

"Cut it a little close there," Donnie remarked.

"Believe me, I know," Honeycutt replied, before turning to Sal Commander. "Now, Commander, I've already repaired your craft."

"Thank you," said Sal Commander. "Hopefully one day, we can repay your kindness."

"Yes," said Mona. "Thank you… Professor Honeycutt."

They stiffened at that, turning to them.

"You… you found out?" Leo asked.

"He let it slip while he was trying to save us all," Sal Commander explained. "Do not worry. Your secret is safe with us."

"And I apologize for my insults toward you earlier," Mona added.

"It's no trouble," Honeycutt assured her. "Now, not to be rude, but we must take our leave. We have Triceratons to catch up to."

"As do we," Sal Commander replied.

"Good luck to you all," Mona told them.

She suddenly gave Raph a kiss on the cheek, smiling before taking her leave with Sal Commander. Everyone gaped at that and Kagome's eye twitched for a few seconds before she managed to hide it.

"So... how 'bout that hot chocolate?" she asked, going over to the Think-A-Food Machine. "Who wants marshmallows with theirs?"

Almost everyone raised their hands.

"While we warm up, who wants to have a turtle pile on the couch for some cartoons?" Leo asked.

"Turtle pile?" Casey questioned.

"Trust me," said April. "You'll love it."

Everyone but Raph went to do so. Raph went over to Kagome as she picked up the plug.

"I get it now," he remarked. "You're jealous of Mona, aren't you?"

"What?" Kagome said defensively. "Me? Jealous of her? Please."

"Totally jealous!" Hisako called from the rec room.

"Shut up, Hisako!" Kagome snapped, rubbing her eyes. "It's just… agh…"

"Kagome, listen. You're my girlfriend, and I chose you a long time ago. I admit part of me is attracted to Mona, but that's it; my heart belongs to you."

"Oh, so you do find her attractive," Kagome said bitterly.

"Damn it…" Raph facepalmed. "Okay, screw this."

He grabbed Kagome and kissed her on the lips. After a moment of surprise, she melted into it, her leg kicking up as she did. Eventually, they parted.

"Wouldn't kiss you like that if I didn't love you," Raph assured. "And some random alien chick isn't gonna change that."

Kagome chuckled, blushing. "I guess not."

"Guys!" Mikey called from the rec room. "Hot chocolate now, gross kissing later!"

That snapped them to attention.

"Now then…" Kagome placed the plug on her head and focused, materializing several mugs of hot chocolate and one cup of tea for Splinter.

With some help from Raph, she brought the drinks in, everyone cuddling under several blankets on the couch in one big group. Raph and Kagome took their spots, snuggling against one another and smiling.

Author's Note:

Yeah, this'll be part of the Turtles in Space arc. A love triangle between Raph, Kagome, and Mona Lisa.

Next chapter, the Turtles arrive before the Utrom High Council for the first fragment... and find themselves embroiled in a war for Dimension X.

Please R&R. Until next time!