Chapter 10: Meddlers

Spoilers for season 2 episode 6 Oops

The rain poured out of the sky as the windshield wipers beat against the tune coming from the radio. The announcer had called the song "Bye Bye Blackbird" and it sounded like it was coming right from a phonograph, rather than the state of the art audio system that was in the limo. Fizz sighed as he stared out the window at the bright lights and apartment buildings. " . . . We've arrived at the penthouse. Aren't you going in?" One of the hellhounds said from the front. They had been parked outside for a minute and Fizz had made no signs of leaving.

He sighed again, "Yeah . . . I am."

The elevator rose higher and higher, and Fizz couldn't help feeling nervous. More than anything, he wanted to see Ozzie; just cuddle him in their big bed together and forget this night ever happened, but he knew there were questions he'd need to answer first . . . and Oz might tell him to go sleep somewhere else, after. Maybe permanently . . .

Ozzie turned around to see the glass elevator arrive, Fizzarolli inside, looking down, "Fizzy! You're back! What took you so long, babe? Why did you stop answering my texts? Are you hurt anywhere?" Fizz let him inspect his arms, legs and body. Ever since the incident, he'd gotten even more overprotective of him.

"Hi, Asmodeus . . . I'm fine." Fizz said, looking away from him.

"Oh, sh*t. Something serious happen?" Oz turned his chin to look him in the eyes.

Fizz couldn't help it, he started crying, "I-I f**ked up, Ozzy. . . I f**ked up bad. Please don't hate me."

Well, that was concerning, but he was home safe and whatever it was, he clearly already regretted it. Asmodeus sighed, and scooped him up into his arms, a relieved and empathetic look on his face, "I could never hate you, Fizzy frog, come here. It's late and we should both get some sleep."

Once in their room with the door closed, Ozzy set Fizz down on the bed. He grabbed some tissues, and knelt on the floor, and holding Fizz's face, dabbed the tears and snot off. Fizz leaned into the giant blue hand, and kissed it, looking up at Oz shyly.

"I need to tell you what happened. And it's okay if you want to kick me out after. I-I'd understand." Fizz sniffled.

"D*mn girl, what has got you this upset?" Ozzy said, sitting on the bed next to him.

"You know h-how, when we started dating . . . we agreed this was an open relationship, mostly so you could keep up appearances of being the great 'Lord of Lust', big daddy to many, not just me, right?" Fizz started.

". . . Uh-huh." Ozzy did not like where this was going.

"And I told you that I never expected you to have romantic feelings for me, like at all, let alone a monogamous relationship, so I was fine sharing you with however many people it took, as long as we were together." He fidgeted with his hoodie.

"Uh-huh." Oz tried his best to keep a neutral face.

"And I also said that while I appreciated the permission to go fooling around if I wanted, I didn't really need it, because no one could satisfy me the way you could anyway, right. You remember that?" Fizz peaked up at Ozzy.

Asmodeus, trying to hold back tears, squeaked, " . . . Uh-huh. . ."

"Ozzy . . . are you okay?" Fizz put a mechanical hand on his knee.

Oz burst into tears, "You're leaving me aren't you?!" He sobbed.

Fizz was taken aback, "What?! NO! F**k no! Never!"

"I sent you off on a date to get the press off our backs, and you met someone you can love publicly, and now you're leaving me!" Oz put his face in his hands.

Fizz jumped up on his back, putting his arms around his shoulders, "Awe, Oz. You don't need to worry about that. I've told you; I don't mind keeping us a secret, really! It's kind of hot, actually." Fizz snickered.

Ozzy sniffled, and looked over at him, "Then . . . what happened? You saying you got dirty with someone?"

Fizz jumped off and landed in the middle of the bed, "No! Well, sort of. Just a makeout sesh! A really. . . really, erotic make out sesh. It was all so sudden! I didn't know what to do!" He sighed, "Still, I should've talked to you about it first. You text me before getting frisky with other demons. At the very least, I should have done the same, if not more. . . I'm sorry."

There was a pause, and then to his extreme surprise, Asmodeus giggled, "Are you . . . laughing?"

Ozzy laughed heartily, then took a breath to say, "This is the serious news you had to tell me?"

Fizz blushed a bit, confused, "Well, yeah, I mean- I kinda cheated on you. And even if the relationship is open, I didn't communicate and-"

He was interrupted by Asmodeus laying down, and placing Fizz on his chest, "Well, yes. And maybe I should be mad, but honestly, I'm relieved that it wasn't something worse. Plus, I thought you'd started seeing other people ages ago."

Fizz sat up on his chest, "Wait, what?! What the f**k gave you that idea?"

Ozzy smiled, "When you said no one else could satisfy you, I just thought it was a line to get me into bed with you. Which did work, as I recall."

"Yeah, I remember. That was the night we tried ********* ***** ***** **** for the first time." Fizz smiled wistfully, "Those were good times . . ."

Ozzy chuckled, "Right, and I've seen you flirt with some of the succubi here, as well as the dancers and security at the club. . ."

"That was just for show! To throw people off our scent!" Fizz defended.

"Yes well, I figured you were getting nasty with them in your down time, both for press and for fun. We even winked at each other while you flirted around." Ozzy shrugged.

Fizz groaned, "Because you and I were in on the secret! Not because I was about to f**k 'em!"

"I never minded, Babe! I started doing the texting thing because it made me feel better to be totally open with you. I never wanted to make you feel like I was hiding things from you or that you were beneath me as an imp and a sin. I just did it to make sure that you knew we stood on equal ground. But I figured you not texting before you got down on someone else meant that you felt completely secure in my trust in you. It kind of made me happy actually." Ozzy paused to giggle, "But now I know that you haven't had s*x with anyone else? This whole time? And the first time you do anything dirty, you come home crying thinking I'll dump you over it? It's adorable!"

He squeezed Fizz in a hug as he started laughing again.

"Haha, right . . . So you aren't mad? Even a little?" Fizz looked up at him.

Ozzy began taking off Fizz's jester hat, and Fizz let him, "Not at all, babe. Though, I do feel kinda dumb for not confirming whether or not you were screwing anyone else. Could've saved us some trouble. I guess that's why they say the thing about *sses and assuming."

Fizz purred a little as Ozzy stroked his head, "It's fine, and I'm sorry for not being more clear about my intentions from the start. I'm glad we could work this out."

Ozzy grinned, taking Fizz off his chest so he could roll over on his stomach. He waved his legs in the air, and placed his chin in his hand, "Sooooo, who's the lucky guy who you almost got lucky with~? Or lucky gal? Or otherwise lucky . . . hotshot?"

Fizz blushed, and rubbed the back of his neck, "Guy, and uh- Ahem. . . you remember that guy I used to hate for blowing me up? And then I told you about how he kind of saved my life, blew me up again, and saved my life again?"

"Blitzo?!" Ozzy was shook.

"Blitz, actually. Anyway, yeah. We kinda got drunk, and uh. . . things happened." Fizz looked away.

"Hang on. I thought you were supposed to meet the guy from the dating app. Bluez or something." Ozzy raised a brow.

Fizz laughed, "Haha, yeah, well, apparently Blitz can't even spell his own f**king name right. Or autocorrect, as he claims. Point is, we had a great time catching up and then suddenly I was up against a car and then-"

Ozzy pressed a finger to Fizz's lips, who blushed in response, "Okay, slow down. I appreciate the honesty, but I don't need a play by play. Ain't my thing."

"Haha, right." Fizz moved the finger out of the way, "You, know. He even said that he wouldn't mind having a three-some with the both of us."

Asmodeus looked thoughtful, "Hmm . . . I suppose I'm not against the idea. . . but what about him and Stolas? Aren't they . . . together? At least to some degree?"

"Oh, right. You've been too busy to keep up with the news. They broke up. Like, completely." Fizz spilt the tea.

Asmodeus gasped, "No way! Awe! I was really rooting for them! Do you know why?"

Fizz shrugged, "Beats me, but given that they both are on dating accounts looking for rebounds, I doubt either of them are okay about it."

"They both are?!" Ozzy's shocked face turned into a mischievous grin.

"Oh, no. I know that face. You know you're the Lord of Lust, right? Not cupid." Fizz shook his head disapprovingly.

"I know~ but that little birdie is so lonely~" Asmodeus said playfully, "And besides, what harm could a little poking around do? Don't you want your old friend to be happy? Or were you planning on keeping him all to yourself? I can respect that."

"No, it's not about that. It's about you" Fizz booped his nose, "meddling in things you shouldn't meddle with. All you'll do is end up causing trouble. So you can go do whatever you want, but leave me out of it." Fizz crossed his arms stubbornly.

"Awe, but Fizzy~ It won't be as fun without you. And you know your old friend better than anyone. Won't you give me a hand~" Ozzy squished his face, "Pwease~"

Fizz laughed heartily, "Alright, alright. Fine! But if this goes sideways, it's on you!"

"Yay! Now let's get to sleep for real, else I'm gonna be a zombie all day tomorrow." Ozzy sat up to go get undressed.

"Aw, but I'm still horny! Can't we have a little fun before bed?" Fizzy complained like a kid wanting candy.

"It's 2 in the morning, babe! We have to get up in less than 4 hours!" Oz said, taking off his suit.

Fizz curled into a ball, pouting, "Since when were you so responsible?"

Asmodeus chuckled, "Since I had someone to care about~" his face turned stern, "Now get to the bath and take off your limbs. You reek of alcohol."

"Oh~, won't you help me get clean, big daddy~" Fizz posed seductively.

Ozzy snickered, "Like I don't every time."

"Come on, Oz. It's no fun if it's just a chore!" Fizz said, getting off the bed.

"Oh, baby, it never is. I cherish the private moments with you." Ozzy switched to a more seductive tone, "Now let me sponge you down so good, you'll be begging for mercy."

"That's more like it." Fizz snickered, and started doing cartwheels to the bathroom.

— — —

The quiet was deafening in the IMP office, the only noise being from Loona's tapping on her phone, and the sound of a ping-pong ball bouncing off the wall. Moxxie and Millie sat on the couch backwards, staring at Blitz with contempt over the edge of the back of the seat. Blitz held a paddle in his hand and volleyed a ping-pong ball at the wall over and over as it bounced back at him. One of his hits ricochet towards Millie, who caught it with her teeth, and spat it out, glaring at him.

"The f**ks gotten into you two? You stare at me any harder you'll be entranced by my f**kable body." Blitz gyrated as the ball rolled under the couch.

"Oh, it's nothing. Just wondering if anything has come in the mail recently." Moxxie said, faking nonchalance.

"Yeah, anything. . . important?" Millie said, eyeing Blitz.

"No. Eugh!" He said, trying to fit his horns and his head under the couch, "Why'd ya ask?"

"Oh, nothing." Millie smiled sweetly, eye twitching, "Just wondering if you got any mail, maybe something . . . blue?" She was quickly hushed by Moxxie as they got off the sofa.

"Nope! No mail of any color." Blitz stood back up and just kicked the couch over to grab his ping-pong ball.

"Where did you get that stuff anyway?" Moxxie asked, gesturing to the paddle in his hands.

"Oh, this? Stole it from the junkyard. There was no table, but I figured we didn't need one to smack this thing around." Blitz continued his game against the wall.

"So, you were rifling through the trash again?" Moxxie asked, but it wasn't a question.

Blitz pretended not to care about the jab, "Like you've never done it. Besides, one man's trash is another man's awesome training montage."

Millie interjected, "And what kind of training is this?"

"Accuracy, dodging: take your pick. We have to be ready for when we get a new client." Blitz hit the ping pong hard enough that it got stuck in the wall.

"About that. When are we going to address the bad PR about you and the prince? You said-" Moxxie began.

"Quit your badgering. Any pubic rumor is a good pubic rumor." Blitz proclaimed.

"Sir, that's . . . not what PR stands for." Moxxie really had to wonder sometimes where in all the rings of hell this man had gotten his education from.

"Just you wait, Mox. Any second now, a client will be walking through that door with loads of cash and blood lust in their veins." No sooner had Blitz said those words when there was a knock at the door, "Aaaaaand, that right there is what we call good karma."

Blitz invalidated his point by dropping the paddle on Moxxie's head, "Looks like we finally have a job to do."

Author's Note:

PSA here, many people without limbs can bathe by themselves, and can live independently for the most part, but I thought it'd be cute to show a little bit more of Ozzie being Fizzarolli's personal carer as well as boyfriend. I think that even if Fizz's limbs were waterproof, and if he could bathe himself, that they would still appreciate the time and intimacy of bathing together. That's just my personal headcanon though.

Also, all relationships are different, be they monogamous or otherwise, and I am no expert on the subject. So don't use this as a reference point for anyone else's relationship. All I did was listen to a podcast, that was the extent of my research, so I do apologize if I misrepresented anyone in any way. Some people may not like them in the hierarchical polyamorous relationship that I've put them in. And that's okay; you can disagree. It's not really going to come up again in the story anyway, so I hope you keep reading.

I drew a little something for this chapter late last night, but unfortunately, this website doesn't allow me to add it into the chapter. So if you'd like to see it, you can look on my Tumblr account or at one of the other websites that I post this story on. It's pretty bad though, and you can tell that writing is still definitely my artform of choice, but I had fun making it which I guess is what matters.

The radio station from the beginning was Alastor's from Hazbin Hotel. I went through a few options of songs from around the 1920s, and Bye Bye Blackbird seemed to be the best fit for the situation. I've realized that how I've laid things out, there's this space here where there is very little interaction between Stolas and Blitz, despite this being a story about them. They'll take the spotlight a bit more in the next chapter, and hopefully more in the chapters to come. It's hard to get them to not avoid each other while also keeping true to their characters, not gonna lie.

Please comment about who your favorite character in the hellaverse is!

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