Chapter 15: Served

"Testing, testing, your mom's a b*tch!" Fizz's voice came from the ground.

Loona, still crouched with Via by a plastic bush next to the window, noticed a walkie-talkie in the dirt and picked it up, "Roger that, Mr. colorful wet noodle."

"Excuse you, my titles are lord/lordship." Fizz said, a mischievous grin in his voice, "Listen, Ozzie and I are preparing phase 2 of the plan. These talkies have 3 channels, you've got one, we've got one, and the third one is in the candelabra on the table."

"How the f**k is a whole *ss walkie-talkie inside that tiny thing?" Loona radioed back.

"Oz is a robotics wizz. I stopped asking questions that start with the word 'how' a long time ago. So, where's the daughter-of-a-bitch? Did you distract her?" Fizz asked.

Loona looked over at Via and smiled, "The princess is right here with me. She's in on it too."

"Great! We should be fine, but it's nice to have back up. Guess you guys get a front row seat, while we get your Daddies back together." Fizzarolli gave a little unhinged laugh, "Fizzie out."

"He's not my- urgh. Whatever." Loona said, and set the d*mned thing back on the ground.

"Want some?" Via said, and suddenly there was an outstretched hand holding a bucket of popcorn.

Loona looked at her confused, "Where'd you get this?" She asked, while taking a handful and shoving it in her mouth.

"I found it on the ground under the bush. It could use some more butter." She said, eating some more.

"D*mn girl. A goetian princess eating popcorn she found in the dirt? Now I have seen everything." Loona spoke with her mouth full.

"It's in a container! They probably just set it down for like 5 minutes! It's even still warm, besides you're eating it too!" Via smiled accusingly.

"No I'm not. Honestly, Via. You're disgusting." Loona chewed.

". . . Oh! Um, right. Haha. . ." Via pulled looked down, embarrassed, hiding in her beanie.

"What's wrong?" Loona asked, swallowing.

"Oh, nothing! It's just, well. That's the first time you've called me Via." She gave a sheepish smile.

Loona looked down, "Really? Oh. Well, I am a hellhound. So, if you don't want me to-"

"No, no, no! Please, keep calling me that. I liked it!" Via waved her hands emphatically.

"Oh . . . yeah? You did?" Loona asked with a wry smile.

"Yeah . . . I did." Via ate some more popcorn.

"Alright, Via. Whatever the princess wants." Loona playfully pulled Via's beanie over her eyes, and she giggled.

"Uh . . . you gals know we can still hear you right?" Oz said through the walkie-talkie.

Loona snatched it back up, "No one asked you, you deep-fried, feathered d*ckhead!"

Via spilled some of the popcorn as she laughed loudly.

They spent the next few minutes listening in on the conversation their fathers were having through the walkie-talkie, occasionally making snide comments and giggling to each other. They were running low on popcorn, but not at all on wit, when the mood began to change.

"I don't want my f**king things, and I don't want this f**king napkin. Just. Take. It." They heard Blitz's voice through the speaker.

"Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good." Loona said, leaning closer towards the window.

"No!" They heard Stolas shout, and watched as the table jiggled as he shoved the napkin.

"Yes! ~#$#%$*&%!~" Blitz knocked over the candelabra, which made crashing sounds on the audio, then white noise before fizzling out.

"Ah, piss on a d*ck." Loona messed with the buttons on the walkie-talkie, but nothing brought the audio back.

"Uhhhhh, Loona?" Via tapped her arm bringing her attention back to what was happening through the window.

They watched as Stolas partially began phasing into his full demon form.

"Any chance that's a good sign?" Loona asked, without any hope.

"No, this is serious. He never changed his form in front of my mum ever. He stared her straight in the face with her insults and even through heated arguments. Blitz must've said something terrible." Via looked really worried and Loona knew she had to do something.

"Let's not jump to any conclusions, yet, birdie. I'll just call up the weird*ss couple who arranged this in the first place, and see what they're doing." Loona switched to the other line.

"-to do?! You wouldn't happen to have a second microphone candelabra in your pocket, would ya? Or are you just happy to see me?" They heard Fizz say.

"Calm down. We can fix this." Oz responded, "And yes, always."

"For f**ks sake, can you both stop talking about your d**ks for five minutes and focus!" Loona growled into the device.

"She's right, things are clearly getting heated in there, and we've gotta deescalate the situation." Oz said, "Fizzie, is your costume ready?"

"Yes, sir!" They heard him say in the background.

"Then it's time for phase 2."

— — —

Blitz stared, mouth open at Stolas, silence passing between them as seconds passed. He closed his mouth, swallowed and tried again, but no words came. Stolas sighed, looking more tired than angry, "See? You don't have a reason. You just want to win and I won't let you."

"No, I do I- Aw, sh*t!" A small fire began on the tablecloth from the knocked over candelabra. Much to Stolas's delight, Blitz tore off his coat and was right about to start pounding the candelabra to put out the fire, when suddenly an arm scooped it out of the way, and sprayed the table with a fire extinguisher, getting the foam all over Blitz in the process.

"Woah, there! That was a close one!" A robo fizz in a suit came out of nowhere. "My apologies, gentleman. Let me fix that for you."

"Oh c****t on a stick, not another one of you f**kers." Blitz said as the robot effortlessly replaced the tablecloth, candelabra, and menus, putting the ruined ones on a cart beside them.

The robot grinned disturbingly wide, "Now, now. I am entirely my own bot, so whatever experiences you have had in the past, should not apply to me. So, are we ready to order?"

Blitz, still standing from his seat, jabbed a finger at the faux fizzarolli, "You listen here, you low-grade piece of scrap, you had better turn right back around, tell whoever the f**k your master is to let us out, or I will tear off your arms, tie them together, and shove them up-"

The robot backed up in response, putting it's hands in front of him as a blockade, "Woah there, buddy! R-relax! No need to-"

"Hang on, just a g**d*mn minute!" Blitz grabbed it by the collar, and pinched it's cheek, "Fizza-f**king-rolli, you trapped us in here?!"

"I-I-I assure you, sir, a-a-as realistic as I was made to seem, I am only a replica of the real thing." The 'robot' began to sweat.

"Sticking to the lie, huh? Tell me, are you s*xbots ticklish?" Blitz said as he went for Fizz's sides.

He let out a high pitched squeak and fell to the ground, Blitz followed, still tickling his waist, "Okay! O-okay! I give up! F**k!" He said between laughs.

Stolas looked between the two men feeling confused, and maybe just a twinge jealous.

"Good. Now let us out. You will have some explaining to do later, but right now I just want to get Loona back home before it gets dark." Blitz stopped tickling Fizz, but still straddled him.

"Oh come on! We had this whole thing planned. At least stay and chat with your birdie over dinner." Fizz urged.

Blitz let out an exasperated sigh, "No, Fizz. I am not staying here for one more minute with that pretentious owl. Okay? Enough of your bullsh*t."

"Oh, you wanna talk about bullsh*t? How come we set up this whole romantic atmosphere for you guys and all you can do is fight over a d*mn napkin? You guys are both dying to talk about your feelings, but you have to turn it into a fight!" Fizz slithered out from under him and sat up.

"My g** Fizz you really don't know when to mind your own business, do you? There are no-" Blitz's sighed, his face blushed a little as he looked at the ground. Then remembering who's fault all this was, got back at it, "No feelings to talk about, okay?!" Blitz grabbed the jester by the shirt and shook him a little, his bells jingling, "You can lock us in a gaudy *ss room, with all the f**king candles you could fit in one of your boyfriend's condoms, but nothing is going to convince me to go out with a binge drinking, kinky *ss doormat who can't call someone daddy without thinking of his own neglectful father and is weirdly clingy with his daughter 'cause she's the only good thing in his life-"

"Blitz, I'm pretty sure you just described yourself." Fizz pointed out, but Blitz ignored him.

"I mean, what did you expect?! For me to burst out into song, proclaiming my undying love?! Get real. Even if we started dating, it wouldn't be long before he realizes that I'm just a pathetic excuse of a demon, and he'll regret all the sacrifices he would've had to make for to be with me. In the end, I'll just end up ruining someone else's life! It always ends the same! Just like you said, I will die alone!" He was crying, head down, tears dripping onto Fizz's shirt, which he was still clutching onto.

Fizz watched the tears stream down his face, "I never said tha-"

"It doesn't matter, Fizz. Nothing matters. And there's nothing you can say or do will convince me to tell him how I feel."

". . . I think you just did." Fizz said, and they both looked over to Stolas's direction, but found him gone, a portal left open by the table, "Ah, f**k!"

"He could've made one of those the whole time!" Blitz stood up and shouted.

"That's not the point, idiot! He probably left after hearing all the sh*t you said about him." Fizz went up to him and smacked his shoulder.

". . . Ah, f*ck." Blitz covered his face with both his hands, and dragged them down, so done with himself.

Fizz sighed, "You dumb*ss."

Author's Note

I hope no one was offended by the joke on pronouns and titles that I made. I personally use They/Them Pronouns and asked some of my fellow gender different friends, and they agreed it was fine. But you never know. Just know that my version of Fizzie (and probably the canon version) accepts and loves everyone for who they are. 3

Made this one short and dramatic. I tried adding the scene on as well, but I didn't finish it in time, and it didn't seem like it would flow well, at least in my opinion. I struggled with this chapter, because originally I was going to have a misunderstanding about who set this all up, or maybe lie about their relationship status or something, but the first conflict didn't work anymore with how I wrote the last chapter, and the second just didn't feel right. I could just have the napkin conflict be the reason they both leave upset, but I wanted something bigger. I think this argument will work well with my future plans for them, and hopefully, you enjoyed it as much as I did. Thank you to dramamines on Tumblr for helping me brainstorm insults I could use, as well as the people in my queer writing group who helped me get unstuck!

New Chapters will now only be coming out on Wednesdays, as I will be switching to only updating once a week. Keeping up with the twice a week schedule has been stretching me pretty thin. I hope you will still keep reading, enjoying the chaos and funny antics your demonic crew get into. Thank you all!

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