Unfortunately, their happiness was rapidly extinguished — like always . They never got much of a break. They were driving in the Impala and stopped outside of a cafe along a desolate road. Sam got out to get some food. It was meant to be brief. Allie listened to Dean shout an instruction for Sam to get him pie. The moment was typical, practically rehearsed.

But within seconds Sam was gone. Dean got out of Baby and Allie followed close behind. The scene inside of the cafe was enough to make her heart drop out of her ass. All of the patrons were dead, and blood pooled from them on the floor and walls and booths. Time felt meaningless, slow, and yet somehow also painfully quick. A minute, maybe. That's all it took.

They searched for days. The roadhouse burned down . Ash died . It felt like everything was crumbling. Their hearts were being liquified in a metaphorical blender, trauma smoothie!

Finally, they found him in a ghost town that Bobby remembered from a specific landmark that Dean had a vision of. Sam was there. Right in front of them. The relief was unlike anything she had ever experienced before his shaggy hair and puppy dog eyes—- nothing had ever looked more beautiful and Allie let out a shaky breath without even thinking. Caution be damned the blonde lowered her gun and began walking towards him with brightened eyes and outreached arms, prepared to take him into her smaller body for a meaningful embrace.

The reunion was short-lived, though. One of Azazel's special children ran up behind and shoved a knife into Sam's back before racing off, it tore through his jacket and his shirt before ripping into his muscles and leaving a gaping fester of a wound.

Allie watched from behind the two men who trained her helplessly as her father ran off to find the assailant. Dean bee-lined to Sam's aid and held him as he fell to the ground, cradling Sam in his arms while Sam quickly faded. It all happened so fast. One minute she was seeing Sam's smile over their long-awaited reuniting, the next gore was pouring out of his mouth and Dean was screaming his name in anguish while Sam's head lulled and lopped around in demise.

It wasn't real. It couldn't have been! It was... they fought so hard to find him . His smile. It was just there in front of her.

Allie slowly knelt down beside Dean. "Dean...I..." but there were no words that could be said. Sam was dead . His eyes were lifeless, his body leaning limp over Dean's kneeling pose. Her best friend. John had asked her to take care of them both and she had failed .

Dean's world shattered as he held Sam in his arms, sobbing uncontrollably into the younger man's blood-stained hair from Dean's gruesome hands that rubbed over his brother's head to comfort him. He couldn't believe it - not after everything they had been through together...not when they finally found him again...

"No," he choked out between ragged breaths, refusing to let go of Sam even though he knew there was nothing more he could do for him now. "God damn it! No!" This was his brother. His baby brother. Sammy. And he had failed. He had failed everyone. John, Bobby, Allie, Sam. That's all he ever did. Fail. He was worthless if he couldn't protect Sam. He wasn't a good son, or a good mentor, or a brother. All he was, was a fuck-up and now Sammy was dead.

Allie knew not to touch him. He wouldn't want that. Normally that's how she provided comfort. "We'll figure something out." Her voice shook as the words came out. Did she believe them? She didn't know but she had to do anything to help Dean. This wasn't supposed to happen. It wasn't right. Sam was... the best . He was sensitive and full of empathy. "There has to be something."

Dean laid down Sam's body. "Fuck!" he swore loudly, slamming his fist down onto the gravel as tears streamed freely down his cheeks - not caring who heard him scream at this point because fuck it - his brother was dead!

"This isn't fucking happening..." he growled out between gritted teeth before slowly climbing to his feet unsteadily, eyes still glued to Sam's unmoving body lying lifelessly on the ground beneath him as he struggled to comprehend what had just happened.

"This is my fault" Dean whispered hoarsely, voice cracking slightly as he took another shaky step forward towards Sam's body; hand trembling violently as he reached out towards his younger sibling's shoulder.

Plenty of deaths and it never got easier. During the death of her mother, Allie had told herself that nothing else would ever break her heart again. It was a fucking lie apparently. This was worse. So much worse. Sam was young and vibrant and Goddamnit he deserved better than this! The idea of Azazel winning overwhelmed her with emotion but Allie did what she could to keep it at bay— for now . Dean needed her and to hell if she failed again.

She knelt down beside Sam's body and pulled his limp head into her lap, fingers running through his long hair as she had done many times before. "I'll help you bring him to the car."

-—-—- —-—-—

The walk back to the car was long and painful - each step feeling like a knife cutting deeper into his heart until eventually he could barely stand anymore as he finally reached Baby where Bobby stood waiting patiently for them to return.

"I'm sorry son," the older man whispered quietly under his breath, his voice sounding broken and hollow as if he had aged decades in the last few minutes alone.

"I wish I could do something for ya."

He placed his hand on Dean's shoulder before pulling him into a tight embrace - holding him close against his chest like he used to do when Dean was younger and would come crying after having a nightmare about monsters attacking his family members.

Allie watched as her father embraced Dean. She sucked in her lip to avoid crying. Fucking Sam. Out of anyone. Though, maybe it didn't matter who she lost. It would always feel like a searing and inescapable pain. She turned to look at Sam's lifeless body in the backseat. Red-hot rage burned inside of her. It felt like there was nothing left other than the fire of revenge, no matter where it led. She silently climbed into the passenger seat of the Impala with Dean and Bobby got into his truck. The drive back was...exhausting. quiet . She didn't even know how Dean managed to keep the Impala on the road. She wouldn't have been able to. Her eyes stayed glued through the windshield while she tried to disassociate from the fact her best friend's fucking dead body was laying on the cold leather of the backseat. He had died in some random piece of shit ghost town. He should have gone back to Stanford, Damnit!

They brought Sam's body into an old cabin and Dean laid him on a bed in numbed silence.

Bobby and Allie tried their best to comfort Dean in the days that followed but he was angry and detached. She watched as he stared at Sam's body for hours, days . It was heartbreaking. All she could do was try and get him to drink or eat something sometimes but it rarely worked. Dean was lost and although Allie desperately wanted to help him she didn't know how. John had put something on her that she wasn't prepared for, she could barely deal with her own feelings most of the time!

They stayed as long as they could until one day Bobby made Allie come back home with him so she could finally rest. She hadn't slept, didn't eat, didn't cry. All she did was worry about Dean. Dean on the other hand withdrew into himself. He was full of rage. It was his baby brother, after all, and as soon as Bobby made Allie leave he made a plan to meet with a crossroads demon.

The deal didn't go to plan. Dean didn't get ten years; he didn't even get five. He got one. 12 months.

One year and his soul would be owned forever. Selling one's soul was no small feat but Dean was desperate. He didn't tell Bobby or Allie, even though he knew it would break her heart.

When her father brought her home Allie sat at the kitchen table.

She was quiet for a long, long time. She didn't say a word. They had shared so many memories there. It was like a hub for the trio. It was even where they first met. After hours of sitting in silence, Allie absolutely broke down.

Uncontrollable loud sobs came from her. Shrieks of anger and melancholy combined. Alice took the glass in front of her and flung it across the room, smashing it against the wall. " Fuck! " Just a few weeks ago they had been sitting on the couch watching movies together. "I ...a- AH !" She couldn't word her grief. Allie could only make exasperated noises and pained gasps as the grief consumed her, devouring any semblance of hope that had remained inside of her. Not only had they lost Sam, but deep down she knew that soon Dean would be gone too. Dean became reckless without Sam's down-to-earth energy. The team brought synergy to one another but now one of the pieces was gone.

Bobby's heart ached as he watched his daughter lose control like this, her usual vibrant and cheerful demeanor replaced by raw grief and anguish that tore at him deeper than any monster ever could. He slowly got up from the table, moving around it to wrap strong arms around Allie in a tight embrace, holding her close against his chest as she sobbed into his shirt, feeling helpless and powerless to take away the pain etched on her face.

"I know you feel responsible" he whispered softly, rubbing circles on her back with one hand while gently squeezing her shoulder with the other. "But you couldn't have known, Allie. None of us did."

The only downfall of being with the Winchesters was the fact that being close to people had opened her up emotionally. Before finding her father Allie was closed off and shoved down everything. She hated being vulnerable, hated weakness. Now though...

Well, her years with the Winchesters and her father had enabled pieces of her real self to come out. She had become more emotionally available. The problem? That meant it hurt really fucking bad and she didn't know how to handle it anymore. Hadn't she dealt with enough pain? Hadn't Dean?

Allie sobbed into her father's chest, fingertips gripping the back of his shirt as if he would so soon disappear. "I didn't know I loved him so much." The sorrow tore her apart, the worst she had ever experienced. "It hurts." She cried out and more tears came.

"I know, kid" Bobby murmured softly against the top of her head as he continued to hold Allie close in his arms. He had known from the moment she'd walked into his life that there was something special about her - a spark of light and joy that seemed almost too bright for someone like him or his boys to ever deserve. But they did deserve it; they needed it more than anything else after losing their family so soon and just as much as Allie needed him right now, he needed her too. He didn't even know what he was missing until she showed up. Warmth. Honesty. Appreciation. Allie was a good kid with good intentions and now he had to be a good father for her.

"It hurts bad when you love somebody like that," he admitted quietly, voice cracking slightly with emotion before clearing it roughly. "But don't think yer alone in that hurtin', alright?"

His shirt was soaked with her tears. In only three and a half years Bobby had truly become her dad. Allie was about to do something she never had done before. She reverted to a childlike demeanor. Small and fragile. Innocent. She just needed to be held and loved by her father. Allie was not generally an overly emotional person but tonight the weight of the world had crushed her. " I can't do this, daddy. " Living with a single mother for most of her life meant taking care of herself. Her mom worked double shifts to keep them alive. She hadn't been a child in a long, long time. But right now she certainly felt like one.

"I don't know how to help Dean." It burned her heart. The man she cared so deeply for and she was failing at helping him. He was only retreating further into himself as time went on.

Bobby tightened his hold on his kin, rocking her gently back and forth as he continued to rub soothing circles up and down her spine. "You're doin' fine, sweetheart," he assured softly, voice thick with unshed emotion of his own. "Dean just needs time - we all do." He knew better than anyone how hard it was for men like them to show their feelings; especially when they thought that showing weakness would only put the ones they loved in more danger. Dean was no exception, not to mention the way John had raised him like a toy soldier on a battlefield to be whipped around and used at will.

"But you know what?" he asked after a moment of silence had passed between them. "I reckon maybe it ain't about fixin' things right now, hm?" he paused and placed his chin on the top of his daughter's head, letting out a long breath. "You need to get some sleep, kid. I'll see ya' in the mornin'." He gently guided her up the stairs to her room.