The hour bled late when Sam got back in the Impala. Dean was asleep but Allie stayed wide awake. She was leaning against a wall when Sam stepped inside. 2 am. "You're past your curfew, maybe I should ground you." Allie teased sarcastically. It wasn't like her usual teasing. It was angry and spiteful.

"Where were you, Sam?" But she already knew. The pain of the truth drove her anger forward. Ruby. Over time their connection had swayed more and more, and now the fray had grown unavoidable. In her soul, she knew he had been intimate with her. That hurt the worst. Because he was different. All for a demon.

Sam's shoulders slumped as he closed the door behind him, his eyes flickering with guilt and exhaustion. "I was... talking to someone," He said lamely, rubbing a hand over his face before turning to face her. "Look, Al, I know we need to talk about this whole demon thing—"

"Not someone. Ruby." Allie cut him off and crossed her arms over her chest. "Do you think I'm stupid? Or maybe you just enjoy lying to me." Whatever it was she was tired of it. "You can hide from Dean and you can hide from Bobby— maybe you can even hide from Cass..." Allie trailed off.

"But you can't hide from time. The truth always comes out, Sam." Piercing blue eyes held an intense connection with him.

Sam's jaw clenched, his eyes slanting with defiance. "You think I don't know that?" He snapped. Everyone judged him all the time. Always the freak, always making the wrong decision. "I'm trying to do the right thing here! To protect everyone!"

"But it feels like no matter what I say or do," he continued more softly, running a hand through his hair in frustration, "it only makes things worse."

He took a deep breath and looked away for a moment before meeting Allie's gaze again. "Look... maybe you're right about Ruby. Maybe she is just using me."

"I am right Sam!" Her tone was hushed but firm so as to not wake Dean up. Sam and her had never fought before. They rarely even disagreed. They were both usually just... on the same wavelength. His choices were driving a wedge through their friendship. "She's bad for you!" Allie sighed and ran her hands through her hair to try and calm down.

"I don't even know you anymore, Sam. You aren't the man that's my friend." It hurt to say but he was losing himself. He was secretive, constantly hiding things.

His features melted with regret as he took a step closer to her, his hand reaching out to gently brush away a stray tear that had escaped from the corner of her eye. Allie didn't generally cry, he'd only seen it the night of Dean's death. "I know," He said softly, voice heightened from the weight of her judgment. "And I am so sorry for everything I've put you through."

"But Allie... I can fix this. I promise you, okay? We'll find a way to stop Lucifer and Lilith, and then we can go back to how things were before any of this happened."

She stepped back from him and recoiled away from his touch. "Do you really think that's what will happen? You continue drinking demon blood and pounding a monster then we'll all go back to Superbowl Sundays? Come on!" She hissed as she became more heated.

"You know this is wrong. You gotta know this is wrong!" Taking the kind approach with him didn't seem to be working so she figured maybe the harsh truth would work. Grasping at straws was an understatement. These days Sam was defensive and irritable. Not to mention he would just run off to go to Ruby.

Sam stepped back in frustration, his hands balling into fists at his sides. "I know it's wrong!" He shouted, the sound echoing through the quiet motel room like thunder in the night. "But what else am I supposed to do? We're talking about saving the damn world here! And you think I want this?" His voice cracked on the last word, a boil of all the desperation and pain he was feeling inside.

"I'm trying to save Dean, Allie! I can feel him slipping away from me every day. And you... God and you think I want this between us?" He gestured wildly between them, his eyes filled with anguish as he turned away from her, unable to look at the hurt in hers any longer.

"Just give me a fucking chance," he growled out before storming off towards the Impala, slamming the door behind him so hard that it rattled on its hinges.

A wave of guilt crashed over her. It's not like she didn't care about Sam anymore. She was trying to get through to him because she cared about him!

Allie was quick to run after him. She slid between his large frame and the driver's side door of the Impala. Her back was pressed up against the cool metal. There was a breeze outside; it licked at her cheeks. "I'm sorry." It was an open apology and genuine. "I care about you, Sam! I'm worried about you. Please don't leave." She gripped at his shirt despite her initial hesitation to touch him.

"I need you to stop leaving! Even when you're with us it feels like you aren't really there." In a way she was panicked. They needed to get through to each other. Their friendship was slipping away and the fear of that happening... it was overwhelming.

"I know," He said, reaching out a hand to brush away the stray strands of hair that had come loose from her ponytail.

"It's just... I can feel it, Allie." His voice wavered slightly on the last word before he cleared his throat and took a deep breath to calm himself. "The weight of everything is crushing me...and then you and Dean… the looks that you give me…" He trailed off, unable to finish the thought aloud.

Allie pulled him to her until his body was pushing hers up against the Impala. Her hand laced around to the back of his head and through his hair to bring his head down and press his forehead against hers. His breath was sweeping across her face. There was an intimacy with him that she craved, being able to express herself without worry. Now all of that was fucked up!

"Sam. I'm always here for you. You're my best friend. You gotta... I just need you to stop lying to me. That's it. We can work through anything just please for God's sake stop lying to me!" The plea was desperate. It had been a rough few months... well... now nearly a year considering it spanned to before Dean had died and gone to Hell. Her words were passionate, her tone needy for him to understand.

His body trembled slightly as he let himself lean into her embrace, his arms wrapping around her waist and pulling her even closer. "I know," He whispered against the top of her head, his voice heavy with regret. "I'm sorry."

"It's just... sometimes I don't want you to see how scared I really am," His vulnerability expressed itself in spades. "How much pressure there is on me. How lonely I feel."

He took a deep breath before stepping back slightly, cupping her face between his hands. "You mean everything to me, Allie," her eyes drew him in and before he knew it he was pushing her against the car once again and roughly kissing her.

Allie let out a soft gasp when he very suddenly pushed her, pressing his body heavily against hers. There was an aggression in him that was new; it was unlike him. Sam had always been very gentle with her. Borderline non-sexual. At least he didn't openly say or do anything that objectified her.

Before her mind had time to catch up his tongue was in her mouth. She hadn't been touched in a long, long time. Allie moaned in response. It was heated and overwhelming. However, guilt settled in quickly.

His kisses grew more demanding as he deepened the connection between them, hands roaming over her body with a possessiveness that was both thrilling and terrifying. He nipped at her lower lip before trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses down her neck and collarbone, groaning in pleasure when she arched into him. Although he knew the action had consequences Sam couldn't bring himself to care enough. She was there, and he felt… things, impulses that Ruby hadn't solved.

Allie moved her hand to palm against the hood of the Impala and anchored herself. This wasn't right. This was Sam. It was just the heat, just the anger getting to them. "S-Sam..." Allie forced her other hand against his chest to gain some space between them. Her head was swimming.

"What's happening? We can't do this." In truth, Allie didn't want to hurt him. He had enough going on inside of him and the fact was— she loved Dean. She was in love with him. This was about the worst possible thing that could happen. Not to mention they had a job to do.

Aggressive eyes were dark with desire as he stared down at her, his breathing ragged and heavy. "I know," He growled out before pulling away slightly, resting his forehead against hers for a moment to compose himself. "God, I... I don't even know what I'm doing" He was rough and raw on the inside, emotions unchecked and impulse control now poor. He never would have done this six months ago. The results could be too dire.

"We can't do this," He agreed finally, his hands gently brushing over her cheeks in an almost apologetic gesture before he stepped back. "But Jesus Christ, Allie..." He trailed off, his eyes searching hers as he fought to find the words. "You…." Sam shook his head, unable to finish his sentence — knowing it would change things between them if he did.

With that, he turned and climbed into the driver's seat of the Impala, starting up the engine before peering back at her through the glass. "We need to talk about this later," He pulled away from the motel parking lot, leaving Allie standing there alone in the darkened night. He'd come back in the morning before the alarm and before Dean knew.

Dean stirred in his sleep, sensing that the spot beside him lay empty, only to see her slowly crawling into her usual side of the beds they so often shared. Once she retired under the covers he wrapped a lazy arm around her, gently tugging her to him.

"Hey," he murmured softly against her hair, his hand gently stroking up and down her back as she leaned into him with a small sigh of relief. "You okay?" His voice was low and husky with concern, his body tensing slightly when she remained silent for too long.

She didn't quite know what to say. Dean's breathy, drowsy voice was so fucking hot. God, she loved hearing it. She had climbed back into bed with him automatically though her brain was elsewhere.

Finally, she answered him. "I'm fine." A lie that she instantly felt guilty over. She wasn't fine. Sam's tongue had literally just been in her mouth. It's not like she belonged to Dean. She didn't belong to anyone but it still felt wrong. It must have been the stress and the heat of the moment. That's why Sam had done it. Right?

Dean's arm tightened around her waist, his body turning slightly to face hers as he opened his eyes fully. "You're tense," He said softly, nose burying in the crook of her neck where Sam had devoted himself just minutes prior.

"What happened?" His voice was low and dangerous, a growl as if he suspected at any moment he'd have to jump out of bed and defend her.

Allie turned away from him in the bed and shifted herself to place her body closer to the wall and create distance between them. "Drop it, Dean." It was an instruction. If Dean found out... she couldn't even imagine.

"You don't want to know. We just got in a fight. Go back to bed." Despite being confused and a bit angry at Sam she still wanted to protect him and conserve the dynamic of their group. The last thing they needed right now was a YA novel love triangle.

Dean's eyes narrowed in suspicion, but he knew better than to push her when she was clearly not ready to talk about it. "Fine," He rumbled before turning onto his side away from her, arms crossed over his chest as he stared at the ceiling of their motel room, head swimming with the idea of her hiding something from him. He knew her well enough by now to know that something had off-centered her. Not to mention, if it was about Sam, he deserved to know.

"But don't fucking lie to me, Allie."

Allie sat up awake for a while and debated what to do. Lying to Dean was damn near the worst thing possible for her. She had promised years ago to always be honest with him and Allie wasn't one to break a promise.

She turned over on her side and traced shapes down his bare spine. She knew he was still awake. His breathing was different than when he slept. Being around someone day in and day out for years made you learn their quirks.

She couldn't help it. Her fingertips started to massage his back and sides. "I'm sorry." The blonde confessed and stuck her tongue in her cheek. "I'm going to tell you but I need you to stay calm, okay?"

Dean's muscles tensed at her touch, but he didn't move or say anything as she continued to massage away the tightness in his shoulders and back. He knew that tone of voice all too well; it usually meant something was seriously wrong.

"I can try," he replied after a moment, not turning around to face her yet. "But if you think I'm just gonna sit here and pretend like nothing happened..." His words trailed off and waited for whatever it was she needed to get out.

"Dean..." She warned as he spoke about not letting it go. "Don't." Allie couldn't dare face him after what happened. That's probably why Sam had driven off; too afraid of the repercussions of his reckless actions.

"Sam and I got in a fight. It was my fault. I waited for him to come back." It was better to start off slow and give Dean some time to prepare internally. "We went outside and got more serious but... not fighting-wise..." Allie knew she was dragging it on. The grand finale had arrived and she was worried. "Sam kissed me. It all happened so fast. He... anyway— we agreed that it was a mistake and he drove off in Baby."

Dean's body tensed even more at her words, his muscles tensing up as he tried—and failed miserably—to keep himself from letting the anger in. She had asked him to stay calm, so he took a deep breath in through his nose and let it out slowly before finally speaking.

"You mean... like kissed you?" His voice shook with barely contained anger and jealousy, but he managed to keep it under control. "And you just brushed it off like that? Jesus Christ, Allie. You weren't going to tell me?"

This was... not going well but it also wasn't going as poor as she expected. Dean was actually taking it semi-decently. "Dean it's not like that. It's a big deal and I know that but we can't push Sam farther away right now. He knows he made a mistake. It was impulsive. He's mixed up on the inside." Allie was empathetic. Sam had opened up to her tonight and shared himself deeply and his point of view. She wasn't going to turn him away. Even if he was being confusing and secretive and unlike himself.

Dean turned over temporarily to face her, a scowl at the idea of his own brother perfuming such a stupid fucking action with Allie, and her trying to keep it from him. "You know what? I don't want to talk about this now," He growled out eventually, rolling onto his back again.

"We need sleep." It was the cowardly way out of dealing with it right then and there, but he wasn't sure how he would react if they continued their conversation at that moment.

He knew she was right—they needed Sam more than ever, especially after everything they had been through recently.

Allie shifted closer to him. "It's gonna be okay." He was trying to refuse his feelings. If there were ever a Dean Winchester bingo card that would certainly be on it. Maybe the free space.

"He'll come back and everything will blow over. It's fine." She didn't know if she was trying to convince him or herself. Allie bit her lip and laid her head down in the crook of his neck. "I know it's not great and I'm sorry— but you wanted me to be honest. So I need you to not get upset with Sam. We need to make a deal on this. Don't bring it up."

Dean sighed heavily, his hand reaching back to gently stroke her hair as he turned towards her. "I know," He finally admitted reluctantly. "You're right—we need him more than ever."

"But don't think for a second that this is okay Allie," His voice was a warning, but there was also an underlying note of understanding in it. Understanding for her, and how she must have been feeling. "We talk about this tomorrow, alright?"

Slow nods of approval were the only answer. The day had been long and tiring. Dean had gotten some sleep but Allie had been up all night due to waiting for Sam to get home. Within seconds she was asleep, nestled against him in the closest embrace they had ever shared. Her face was nuzzled into his neck, her body pressed up against his in a way that was not friendly.

No friends acted the way that they did. If one were to walk in on the scene they would think Allie and Dean were a long-term couple. Their bodies fit together like puzzle pieces, legs tangled in a mess beneath the sheets, small smiles lingering on their faces.

If only

if only.