Screams filled the small walls of Bobby's home as Sam went through withdrawal from demon blood in her father's panic room. The sound caused her jaw to twitch, her hands fidgeting with anything that they could find. Dean was fisting shots of whiskey, she was shocked he was even using a glass. Bobby seemingly ignored the pleas from Sam but Allie knew better. They were all affected.
She struggled to listen to him in such panic and desperation. "Maybe I should... go check on him just to make sure he's okay." She mumbled under her breath, though she already knew that Bobby and Dean would refuse her persuasion. She was weak to the sound of her found family hurting.
"No, Allie. You stay here with me," Bobby said firmly but gently as he glanced over at her from where he was pacing back and forth in front of the door to the basement. He knew she wanted nothing more than to go help Sam, but they couldn't risk anyone else getting hurt or worse. The last thing any of them needed right now was another casualty on top of everything else.
Dean grunted in response, not turning around to face her. He knew she was just trying to help but he couldn't bear the thought of losing another person close to him right now. "You stay put," his voice sounded rougher than usual due to the alcohol and stress combined.
"We got this." His words were more a command than an invitation for discussion as he downed another shot before refilling his glass. The smell of whiskey filled the room, masking some of the other scents that usually lingered there. Allie could see the worry etched deep into his features, lines forming on his otherwise youthful face.
Allie looked down at the floor but didn't offer much of a response. Her lips quivered at the sound of Sam's echoing despair. Hearing her friend yell help over and over again was a tough pill to swallow. Her size six Converse tapped against the scratched hardwood.
She grasped for Dean's whiskey and stole it from him, shooting it down with a scrunched expression from the burning. There weren't exactly any podcasts on how to deal with supernatural blood addicts. "I can't do this anymore." She stood and ran a hand over her mouth. "You both might think this is right but I don't. We should at least be down there with him!" The thought of Sam being alone and suffering was overwhelming.
Dean's head whipped around at her words, his eyes narrowing in anger and frustration. "You don't get to decide what we do or don't do," he growled, reaching out for the bottle of whiskey she had stolen from him but stopping short when their gazes locked. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down before speaking again more softly. "Allie, I know it sucks seeing Sam like this, hell, it's killing me too. But if you go down there right now, you could end up dead."
He stood up slowly, towering over her. Really, they had no idea what Sam was capable of anymore.
"Allie" Bobby's deep voice rumbled from behind her. He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and turned her to face him. His eyes were filled with concern but also determination. "You know we can't risk it."
"He chose this path when he decided to start drinkin' the blood," he added, his gaze flickering briefly towards Dean before returning to his daughter. "We take care of each other, we would do whatever it takes to keep each other alive, even if it means being apart for a while." Bobby knew she needed a gentler approach than Dean could offer her right now.
"Now you stay here with us"
Her eyes watered, lips pressed into a tight line. "Dad..." she started off but didn't continue; her nose twitched from attempting to fight off the tears. Everything had led to this, all their work. They couldn't trust Sam anymore. Sam. Out of anyone, it didn't feel real but deep down she knew that they were right. Sam was different now, potentially dangerous. Ruby and the demon blood had changed him.
She paced the room. "So we just stand here then? We wait for... we don't even know what?" Dean believed it was the right thing to do but all Allie could think about was the fact there had to be another way. This felt like she was ditching a person she cared for and letting him suffer alone.
"We wait for Sam to come to his senses," Dean replied, his voice low and filled with a mix of anger and sadness. He paced the room as well, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. "We wait for him to realize what he's doing to himself and to us."
He stopped in front of her, his eyes boring into hers. "Look, I know you care about him, Allie, but we can't just stand by and watch him throw his life away like this. We've been through too much together, we've lost too much already." He took another swig from the bottle before continuing. "I love him but I'm not letting him turn into a monster."
Bobby sighed heavily, rubbing his forehead as he looked at the two of them. He knew they were both hurting and scared but they had to stay strong for each other. "I know it's hard," he said softly, "but we have to wait."
He walked over to the couch and sat down, patting the spot next to him. "Come here, sit with me." His voice was an attempt to be more tender than usual, inviting her to join him.
Allie hesitated before joining her father on the couch, watching as Dean left the room. She swallowed. The air in the house was thick and suffocating with their shared worry of what might come next. That fact was — they didn't know if it would work. Blind faith was all they relied on and that was terrifying.
"We're losing, Dad." They won so frequently that the idea of losing and the apocalypse proceeding to destroy everything was a cruel taunt. How could such a scenario be forced on them? "And I'm so scared." She finally admitted to someone. "I'm so fuckin' scared." The blonde put her head in her hands and shivered as she broke down in front of her father.
Bobby wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close as she cried in front of him. He sighed heavily, rubbing her back soothingly. "I know you are" he murmured softly, his voice thick and naturally paternal. He didn't have to try for that anymore, it just came for her. "But we'll get through this together. We always do."
He glanced over at the door leading to the basement, wondering how long they would have to wait before Sam could be released. It felt like an eternity since they had heard anything from him. "We've been through hell and back before," he continued, trying to reassure her. "And we'll make it out of this one too."
When Dean arrived back from wherever the hell he went Allie's eyes were red and puffy from crying. Everything had compounded and the weight was too fucking heavy.
And then, as if God had heard her tears he played a cruel prank. Dean said that he accepted the angels using him for the apocalypse. He would be chosen and used in the war.
She watched as Dean and Bobby talked about it. Dean would be the angel's bitch boy to protect Sam from any more pain. Of course. It always ended up that way. Before Allie could get a word in they heard... nothing. Downstairs was eerily quiet. Not a sound came from Sam.
The three ran down the stairs and opened the eye hole to find Sam having a fit and being thrown around the panic room. The demon blood withdrawal was powerful and dangerous. They busted in to strap him down.
By the time they came back upstairs, Allie had enough. "Dean! This is bad for him! People die from seizures ! We don't know what this is doing to him!" The nurse inside of her came out tenfold.
"We're doing the right thing," He was firm and unrelenting. This had to happen; it had to be this way. Sam was becoming something dark. "He's gonna be okay, Allie." He tried to reassure her but his own voice lacked conviction. "I know it's hard to watch but we have to let him go through this." He glanced at Bobby but didn't receive a nod of approval. "We can't risk him hurting himself or us."
His tone only heightened her frustration. Allie was at her breaking point. "No! You're wrong!" She finally yelled, having enough of the way Dean believed in his opinion and his only. "Do not use your big boy voice on me and expect me to just sit down and shut up!" She slammed a petite fist down on the desk in Bobby's office. "Do you want him to die?!" Truly the two shouldn't have been fighting. It shouldn't have been them versus each other, it should have been them versus the problem but the stress from the past year was boiling at a head and all of pent-up frustration was coming out. Sometimes she and Dean butted heads but this time was exceptionally poor. "We keep this up and tomorrow we might be burying him in the auto yard!" Deep down she knew that Dean would rather Sam die human than become a monster. He'd keep Sam locked up no matter what.
Dean's face hardened at her outburst, his jaw clenching as he took a step back. He didn't expect Allie to challenge him like this, especially not now. "I'm trying to keep him alive," he said through gritted teeth, "but if he can't control himself, he's a danger to us all."
He paced the room, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "And don't you dare talk to me about burying him in the yard. That's not what any of us want." He hated fighting with her; it was uncomfortable. Allie was not a woman who took the word 'no' well and that only meant he had to be bigger than her, harder than her. No easy feat these days. She wasn't his mentee anymore.
Allie finally broke; tears streamed down her face. "Are you sure about that? Because you're pretty attached to the idea of keeping him in a prison until there's nothing left of him." She breathed heavily and ran a hand through her hair, a soft whimper leaving her lips as she turned to her father. He echoed her concerns, stating it didn't feel right to keep him contained any longer but Dean always won. She knew her attempts were futile. "We can't leave him alone, Dean. He's alone." She sobbed. "He's not a monster. He's just confused! It's fucking Ruby's fault!"
Dean's eyes narrowed at her words, his jaw clenching. "Ruby's fault?" he repeated, turning to face her. "You think I want this? You think I want to lock him up like some animal?"
He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down before continuing. "I'm doing what I have to do to keep him safe, Allie. And if that means keeping him locked up until he can control himself, then so be it."
He turned away from her, unable to look at her as he paced the room again. "I'm not gonna let him turn into a monster," he muttered under his breath. He wanted to throttle her, to force her on his side. Arguing with her was exhausting. She typically didn't relent and that pissed him off.
"Fuck!" Allie tore out in a scream, hands gripping her French braids and yanking at them in an attempt to calm her composure. "I can't watch you do this! I won't!" She felt like shaking him by the jacket to force some sense into him but what use would that do? When Dean was set on something typically he couldn't be talked out of it.
The year's events were pining them all against each other. They were at a severe impasse. "When your father died I promised to take care of both of you. Are you going to stop me from fulfilling that promise?" Dean had no idea of the promise. She had never told him. The truth always came out.
Dean stopped in his tracks, turning back to face her with a look of surprise on his face. "What did you just say?" he asked softly, his voice low and almost gentle as if to coax her into releasing more information to him, knowing she enjoyed it when he was gentle - even if she didn't ask for it.
He slowly approached her, reaching out a hand as if to touch her shoulder but hesitating before making contact. "Allie," he spoke carefully, "I know we've had our differences, but I swear to God, I would never ask that of you." He paused for a moment, taking a deep breath before continuing. "But this is different. Sammy...he could hurt us, Alls. You saw what happened last time."
The subconscious parting of her lips as their eyes met, the racing of her heart while he spoke. It was something she swore to never speak of. Though, that was a promise to herself rather than John. His reaction softened her. "It doesn't matter if you'd ask me or not. It wasn't your request, it was his." Back then she hadn't understood why John had made such a request but now? Now the reason was clear as day. Sam's downfall had been Dean's as well. Without each other they were lost— Allie needed to somehow pull them back together but she didn't know how. "Sam isn't a monster."
Dean's expression and rage dissipated moderately at her words, and he took a step closer to her. "I know," he said quietly, reaching out to gently brush the tears from her cheek with his thumb. "But I can't risk it." He paused for a moment before continuing in a more determined tone. "We need him sane if we want any chance of stopping this war. And right now...he isn't."
He looked away again, taking another deep breath as he tried to think of how to get through to her. "Look" he began slowly, "we both care about Sammy. We all do. But sometimes tough love is what's needed most."
Ocean eyes glanced down at the ground while Dean spoke. Her pleas were falling on deaf ears. Bobby agreed with her but what could be done? Dean was set in his ways. The only way they would get through this would be by uniting together. She had to stand with him even if she disagreed.
"I have things that I want to say but I'm not going to because if I do..." Allie trailed off. She was self-aware that her impulse control could be poor at times. "I love you and this is probably the worst time on earth to fight." Allie conceded, abandoning her prior arguments in an effort to cease their dispute.
Bobby watched the exchange between Allie and Dean with a heavy heart, feeling torn between his love for both of them. He knew that they were right in their own ways but also understood how much Sam meant to all three of them. As he saw Allie give up her argument, he stepped forward, placing a hand on each of their shoulders.
"Listen," a pause. "we need to focus on helping Sam first. Once he's calmed down, then we can figure out what's best for everyone." His gaze flickered from one face to another before pushing on. "In the meantime, let's just stick together and do whatever it takes to get through this."
Downstairs Sam was fighting a battle of his own. Hallucinations. A fake Allie stood before him, hands gripping the railing of the bed he was strapped down to. "I'm so disappointed in you, Sammy." Her face was hard and unwavering, eyes slanted in hate. "You disgust me. Pervert." She shoved her tongue in her cheek, imitating a blowjob with a sarcastic grin.
Sam's eyes widened in shock at the sight of Allie before him, his breath coming out ragged as he struggled against the restraints. "Allie?" he choked out, his voice hoarse from the exertion.
"No," he breathed, shaking his head as he tried to focus on her. "It's not real." He knew it couldn't be her, but the vision was so vivid. It felt so real that he could almost touch her.
His heart ached at her words, the betrayal in her eyes as she continued to taunt him.
"Oh, I'm real, handsome ." Allie sneered and spoke in anger, in contempt. "You're a poison. A worm. I never loved you, never even cared about you. I only put up with you because you're Dean's brother. If you weren't around I'd be riding Dean's cock like a carousel." She leaned down and smacked him across the face, eyes dark with resentment. "You're a monster. Evil."
His eyes widened in shock and horror as he felt the sting of her hand across his cheek. Not just physically, but emotionally too. "Allie," he gasped out, trying to shake his head again.
He closed his eyes tightly, trying to block out the vision as he focused on his breathing. "Get out," he whispered hoarsely, feeling the tears well up in his eyes. "Just...get out."
The room spun around him, the walls closing in as he tried to push past the hallucination. "I'm not a pervert! I care about you!" It was real. He could feel it. This was really her.
She laughed and twirled a lock of blonde hair around her index finger. "I don't give a flying fuck." The blonde knelt down close to his face. "You're gonna die in here Sam— and I'll finally get to be happy. I'll fuck your brother at your funeral." She got closer still and stared directly into his eyes with a firm gaze. "All you've ever done is disappoint me." She gripped his hair and pulled him back. "And now you're drinking demon blood? What a fucking waste."
Sam's heart broke at her words, the pain of bad faith cutting deep. He couldn't believe that this was happening, that Allie could be so callous, so harsh. Normally she was kind to him, gentle and even nurturing at times.
"No," he whispered, tears streaming down his face as he struggled against the restraints. "It's not true."
He felt like he was drowning, the hallucination pulling him under and suffocating him.
The room spun around him, the walls closing in as he tried to push past the vision. But it was too much, too real. Allie's face loomed over him, her eyes cold and unforgiving. "I'm trying to protect you, to stop Lilith! I just want to keep you safe!" He finally replied.
Allie grimaced and pulled back. "Oh really? My hero. " The sarcasm filled the air in the panic room with thick tension. She walked around his bed, circling him. "You aren't a good person, Sam." She spoke nonchalantly. "You've always been a fuck up. Your daddy thought so too. What a shame you didn't turn out like Dean." She shook her body in arousal. "Dean's strong, a real man. You? You fuck hellspawn." She rolled her eyes. "I mean Ruby? Really? You're so desperate for someone to touch you."
"Duck," he choked out her nickname in desperation, tears streaming down his face as he struggled against the restraints. "It's not true! You know it isn't!" He tried to reach for her, but she was just beyond his grasp. The room moved and swayed, the walls closing in on him until he couldn't breathe. He was gasping for air as if it was waterboarding him.
"Please," he begged desperately, voice cracking with fear and despair. "Help me."
Allie laughed and laughed, mouth wide and distorted like a siren. "I know your glutinous guilt."
She suddenly became dark, harsh; her voice deep and aggressive. "You're pathetic." She bent herself unnaturally over his bed and on top of his body. "I think you secretly enjoy it." Her nails gripped his chin and forced him to look up at her as she pressed their bodies together. "You're tainted, Sam. You're a snake in disguise. I know the truth."
Sam's eyes widened in terror as Allie's voice changed, her features twisting into something monstrous. He struggled against the restraints even harder, his heart racing faster than it ever had before. "No," he whimpered, tears streaming down his face.
"Allie, please!" His pleas fell on deaf ears, and she continued to torment him with her words. The pain was unbearable; this wasn't real, it couldn't be real. She leaned closer, their bodies pressing together, and suddenly a surge of heat coursed through him despite himself. It felt wrong but also right—it didn't make sense!
Hips ground against his, blue eyes holding his gaze. "You want this don't you?" She reached down and palmed at his cock over his jeans, eyes flashing black. "I know your type, Sam." She licked her lips and started to moan, her other hand pressed against his chest. "God, I bet you want it so bad. Why don't you take it now that you're so powerful? Hmm?" An unsettlingly wide smile curved across her cheeks as his body responded to her. "That's right, Freak. "
Sam could feel the blood rushing to his head, the heat of her touch burning through him. "No," he moaned softly, his hips bucking involuntarily at her touch. He wanted her so badly, needed her, but this wasn't right.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, tears streaming down his face as he struggled against the restraints again. "I'm so sorry, Allie." He felt ashamed, disgusted with himself for how his body had betrayed him. But the desire was overwhelming, the pain too much to bear.
"I need you," he cried, his voice cracking with desperation. "I miss you."
Allie dug her nails into his chest, ripping his skin. "That's right. You are a fucking monster. You're vying for your best friend, even when I'm like this." She leaned back and let out an ear-piercing screech before turning back to look at him.
"I knew it." She crawled off of him, eyes returning back to their usual light blue. "You have no control. You're gross." She whipped her hand back and slashed her sharpened nails across his face, tearing open his cheek.
The panic room was closing in around him, the walls pulsing with this throbbing heartbeat. The air was thick with the scent of blood, the coppery taste filling his mouth as if he were drinking it.
Sam closed his eyes, trying to block out the horror, but it was no use. He could still see it, still hear it. Allie's screams echoed in his head, her voice filled with pain and anger.
He tried to focus on his breathing, to calm himself down, but it was impossible. There was no escape, no way out. He was trapped, forced into this nightmare.
The room was heavy with the scent of blood, gore, violence... He could feel it on his tongue. Sam closed his eyes, trying to block out the horror, but it was no use.