Remembering Lily-Mother's Day
Summary: On Mother's Day, Harry, Sirius, and Remus remember Lily.
Sirius glanced at the calendar Remus tacked on the wall and with a pang realized what Sunday was. Sunday was Mother's Day.
When he was a boy, he'd make cards for his mother and give her flowers. But when he got older, he did nothing. Although he did send a small present to Euphemia, James's mother, after their third year when she included a care package for him when she sent one to James. She was more like a mother to him when his own mother. He had grieved for them as much as James did when they died. But Harry's birth brought their happiness back, even for a moment, despite the war that was going on outside St. Mungo's walls.
He realized that he would need to make plans on taking Harry to the cemetery on Mother's Day. With another pang, he realized it shouldn't be this way. It should be taking Harry shopping for something for Lily and making her breakfast in bed and giving her a beautiful bouquet of flowers. Not picking flowers at a florist or in a field and taking them to the grave of a mother that Harry barely remembers.
Sirius knew that this day was hard for Harry, but he didn't quite understand it. It was almost as if Halloween was repeating it's self.
The first Mother's Day that followed after Sirius was freed and given custody of Harry came to the forefront of Sirius's mind. He had looked for Harry for about a quarter of an hour when he found him in an empty classroom with his photo album, open to the picture of a glowing Lily holding a less than an hour old Harry.
Sirius could remember seeing Harry's shoulders shake in silent sobs. It wasn't until Sirius had sat down beside him that Harry realized he wasn't alone. He could remember how his heart broke at the sight of Harry's tear-filled eyes. Without saying a word, Sirius pulled Harry into an embrace, rubbing his back soothingly as Harry sobbed into his shoulder.
When they were back in Sirius and Remus's shared private quarters, a half hour later, Sirius asked Harry what he did in years past to remember Lily.
"For the last four years, you just saw it," Harry had replied. "Before I came here? Nothing. I didn't even how what Mum looked like before Hagrid gave me the photo album."
Remus had overheard that part of the conversation and at the moment was thankful that he sent Hagrid some copies of Lily and James when the half-giant asked for pictures.
Harry then told them about the one and only time he had made a card for Petunia. It was no surprise to either Remus or Sirius what her response was.
Sirius made a promise to himself they were going to do something different the following year, but what.
It was Professor McGonagall, who suggested taking Harry to Lily's grave and let him take flowers to lie on the grave.
They took her idea and the following Mother's Day, Sirius took Harry to a store to pick out flowers and then they headed to Godric's Hollow. They had visited the graves the past summer, the first time for Harry, Sirius, and Remus. They decided to go as a group for the first visit to their graves. Before they left to go home, Sirius walked Harry over to where James's parents were buried.
"They would have loved you," Sirius said to Harry, softly as his eyes remained on the stone that marked the people he thought of as parent's grave. "Especially your grandmother, she would have had you so spoiled." He poked Harry slightly in the ribs, making the teen jump, and added, "She would also be trying to feed you. I can hear her now, 'Sirius! Are you feeding that boy? He's too thin.'"
Sirius remembered that as it was the first time Harry had laughed that summer that wasn't forced.
When they went for Mother's Day, Sirius brought flowers for Euphemia's grave. They went there after spending some time at Lily's.
"Padfoot," a voice said, bringing Sirius back to reality. Turning around, he found Remus standing at the door. "Are you alright? I've been calling you for two minutes."
"Sorry," Sirius murmured, and got up from the desk, heading to the kitchen. Remus followed him, wondering what was going on.
When they reached the kitchen, Sirius held up the kettle and asked if Remus wanted a cup of tea.
"That would be fine," Remus said, sitting down at the kitchen table. He noticed a few books on the table and recognized them as Harry's Charms and Potions textbook. "Did Harry come down here?"
Sirius turned, noticing the books on the table. "Harry left those there when he was here yesterday. Since Ginny has her OWLs study group on Thursday, Harry comes down here while he waits for her to be done."
The kettle whistled and Sirius poured the tea into two cups and handed one to Remus. Sitting down at the table, Remus asked if he was okay.
"I glanced at the calendar and realized Sunday is Mother's Day," Sirius replied.
"Oh," Remus whispered. "Maybe when we see Harry this evening, we'll talk to him about the plans then."
Sirius nodded his mind off somewhere else. He knew that Mother's Day and Father's Day, for that matter, was hard on Harry. Sirius understood what Harry was feeling. He mourned the parents he never knew. Sirius mourned the Potters, who were more like parents to him than his own. He remembered him and James, searching through the shops at Hogsmeade and the owl order catalogs for something to give Euphemia and Fleamont for Mother's Day and Father's Day respectively.
"When are you going to the cemetery where Hope is buried?" Sirius asked.
"Yes, I'll go after we go to Godric's Hollow."
Sirius smiled softly as he remembered Remus's mother. She was sweet to each of them and had hand knitted jumpers for each of them and matching hats, scarves, and gloves. Sirius still had his first set from Hope Lupin.
The portrait hole opened and Harry rushed in, grabbing the books from the table and then to his room for the extra packet of quills. Just as soon as Harry appeared, he left without a word.
"Good to see you too, Prongslet," Remus said, a moment before he and Sirius chuckled.
"Let's go for a walk along the grounds before dinner?" Sirius suggested. "I could use some fresh air."
Remus agreed and they left their quarters, neither of them saying a word.
OoOoOoOoOoOoO
Harry stood by the window, looking out on the grounds of Hogwarts. From this window, the only view was the hills off in the distance and the roof of the castle. But Harry wasn't looking at any of that. He was looking up in the sky where the moon was high up and the sky was clear, allowing the stars to shine brightly. It wasn't a full moon. According to his old astronomy book, it was a waxing crescent moon. The full moon wasn't due until the next week.
He didn't notice the look of concern on his friends' faces as they noticed his lack of conversation during dinner. Ron and Hermione knew that it would be a rough few days for Harry. Neither of them could imagine what he was going through.
He also didn't notice when the portrait hole opened and Ginny returned from the library where she said she was going to return a book she had checked out for a Charms essay.
Noticing Harry by the window, she smiled sadly and approached her boyfriend.
Harry didn't know she was there until she wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned her head against his shoulder.
"Hey babe," She greeted. "What are you doing?"
"Thinking," Harry replied, softly. Ginny heard him, though.
"What are you thinking about?"
Harry sighed, taking a deep breath. One hand went to Ginny's that were braced against his stomach.
"I know Sirius and Remus told me about Mum, but there are a few things that I often think about. Is she proud of me? I am everything she hoped for or am I lacking something?"
Ginny walked around to face her boyfriend and laid her hand against his cheek. He looked down at her, his green eyes meeting her brown.
"You know she loved you, right?" She asked. Ginny was there when Harry asked to know more about Lily. A few years ago, Hestia Jones came back to England and resumed her friendship with Remus and Sirius. She was able to tell Harry more about Lily than what Remus and Sirius knew. She also repeated what Sirius and Remus told Harry and that was how much Lily loved being a Mum and loved him.
"Yeah, everyone had said that. But what about the other questions, huh?"
Ginny hugged Harry tightly, knowing what was going on in his mind. Mother's Day was Sunday and Harry always questioned things that he didn't know, such as was his mother proud of him or did he disappoint her?
"Maybe you can ask Sirius?" Ginny suggested.
"You know what I wish?" Harry asked, suddenly. "That I had my Mum."
Ginny swallowed back tears as she listened to Harry.
"You know it's hard for me to even walk in the park because everywhere I look there's a mother with her child. Either the child is a baby and she's sitting on a blanket with it or she's teaching it to walk. Holding them high above her head, talking to them in that baby voice no one understands. Or their older, she's pushing them on the swings, encouraging them on the slide or just playing with them. I can't bear to look at them because I can have any of that. My Mum is dead."
Ginny noticed the tears welling up in his eyes and then running down his cheeks. She wiped one away.
"Here I am, sixteen years old and the only thing I want in this world is my Mum."
Ginny didn't waste any time. She pulled Harry to her and guided him to a nearby armchair. They sat down side by side in the oversized chair and Ginny held her boyfriend as he once more, mourned the fact he didn't have a mother to celebrate mother's day with.
She thought about what Harry had told her, her heartbreaking for him. She didn't know Harry felt that way. He had never told her. All she knew was last year when he returned from the trip to Godric's Hollow, he found her outside under their tree. He didn't need to say anything. She held out her arms and he walked into them. He had cried on her shoulder until he didn't have any tears left.
She sent a note to Sirius, telling him that she and Harry were eating in the kitchens. When Sirius saw Harry later, he realized why. Harry's eyes were still slightly red and puffy. Sirius didn't say anything, just asked if he was okay. Harry nodded his head in reply and then walked over to Sirius and thanked him for taking him.
When he learned that it was Professor McGonagall's idea, Harry had ordered her a small box of her favorite toffee. Sirius had shared this piece of information with Harry, and every Christmas, Birthday and anytime Harry just wanted to say thank you, Minerva found a small box of her favorite toffee. She just smiled and when she passed Harry, whether it was in the Great Hall, the corridors, or the classroom, she would gently squeeze his shoulder as a way of saying 'thank you'.
She had even hugged him a time or two, especially she learned he was alright after the Third Task. The only difference from that hug from the first one was Harry returned it.
Ron and Hermione watched Harry and Ginny from the couch in front of the fire. They had silence watched Harry for an over an hour and had considered going and getting Ginny sooner.
"Do you think he's okay?" Hermione whispered concern evident in her voice.
"He will be," Ron replied.
Ron thought of his relationship with his mother and knew that Harry was slightly jealous of the fact he had a relationship with his mother. Sure, there were times that Molly got on Ron's last nerve, but that didn't mean he and Molly didn't have a good relationship. Of his brothers, he had a close relationship to both Molly and Arthur, a lot of coming from the fact he was the youngest boy.
But knowing what Harry went through every Mother's Day, he knew he should be lucky that he had a mother.
Later, when the common room was empty with just the four of them, Harry leaned over, whispered something in Ginny's ear, to which she nodded. He kissed her gently and headed up to the dorm.
Ginny, Hermione, and Ron followed. When Ron entered the dorm, he found that Harry already had showered and was in bed.
Without thinking about it, he dug out some parchment, ink and a quill. He looked over at Harry's bed one more time before he began to write.
Dear Mum…..
OoOoOoOoOoOoO
Harry, Sirius, and Remus appeared in an alley near the town square with a Pop!
Remus turned around to see if Harry was okay. Sometimes apparating made him sick, similarly to how he got carsick on long trips in the car.
"Are you okay, Cub?" Remus asked.
"I'm fine," Harry replied, after a minute. "When will I be able to do that without feeling sick?"
"Someday," Sirius said, hopefully.
They walked in silence towards the road leading to the church, passing the memorial of James, Lily, and baby Harry in the center of the square. The first time they saw it, Sirius couldn't bear to look at it very long. Remus smiled sadly and Harry had stayed quiet, studying the features of his parents.
The sound of church bells greeted them as they approached the kissing gate.
"It was decided as your grandparents were buried here, this was where your parents would go after they died. They had already made the arrangements, all was left to do was to finalize everything and bury them," Remus said, whispering.
Harry nodded, mutely, following Sirius to the double headstone. He approached the side where Lily was buried and laid down the bouquet of lilies on her grave.
"Can I have a minute?" Harry asked, quietly. Remus and Sirius nodded. Sirius took the flowers for Euphemia's grave and went to lay them on her resting place. Remus walked over to the corner where a metal bench was and sat down, knowing they would be here for a while.
After he knew he was alone, Harry said, "Mum? I know that your friends have told me a lot about you, but there are things I still want to know. Have I made you proud? Are you disappointed in me? Am I everything you hoped I could be? I'll never know because you're not here."
What Harry didn't know was Sirius and Remus was able to hear him, despite how quietly he was talking.
"I wish I could have five minutes with you. I know it wouldn't be enough and it's not possible, but I still wish I could have five minutes with you. Maybe then you can answer my questions."
Glancing in the direction he knew Sirius and Remus were, he said, "I'm glad I have Remus and Sirius, but that doesn't mean I don't miss you and Dad."
Harry paused for a second, gathering his thoughts. He had told them about Ginny during one of his last visits and had wondered what his parents would have thought about her. He planned on bringing her here one day, maybe when the war was over.
"I wish you both were here," Harry whispered.
Remus watched from the bench as Harry wiped his eyes. He glanced over at Sirius, who was walking back to James and Lily's grave. He stopped a few spaces down, before continuing to walk to the gray double headstone. He sat down on the ground beside Harry and put an arm around his shoulder.
"Harry," Sirius began. "I know for a fact your Mum would be proud of you. You're smart, kind, loving, and generous. She'll not be the least disappointed in you and you're more than she ever hoped for. I know these things because I know Lily and she would be proud of you. Your Dad too, although he wished you'd continue the marauder's legacy."
"What makes you think I haven't?" Harry asked, a smirk forming on his lips. "Who do you think started 'The Great Prank War of 1996'?"
Sirius's eyes went wide. "That was you?!" He exclaimed. Then he roared with laughter. "Oh, Prongs. He's just like you."
At Harry confused look, Sirius explained, "Your father would play pranks on us when we were being too serious, pun intended, about things. Our birthday was no different. We would get pranked all day long. The reason why we don't do that to you for your birthday is because Prongs passed down his prank skills to you."
"Thanks, Sirius," Harry whispered.
Sirius squeezed Harry's shoulder and helped him up from the ground. There was one more thing that Sirius wanted to that day.
OoOoOoOoOoOoO
"Didn't we do this for her birthday?"
"Yes, but I thought we'd do it for Mother's Day too."
There was a slight pause until, "Are you giving Harry Firewhiskey?"
"One shot isn't going to kill him, Remus."
Harry, Remus, and Sirius stood around the table in the kitchen area, a glass in each of their hands.
They had done this for Lily's birthday, a drink and a toast in her memory. Sirius thought why not do again on Mother's Day and include Harry.
"Want to start?" Sirius asked Remus.
"To Lily, we do this in remembrance of you," Remus began.
"A kind woman, a gifted witch," Sirius added,
"And loving mother, to all of us, but most importantly to me," Harry finished.
The glasses clinked and they drank.
"Why do I get the feeling this isn't the first time you've had Firewhiskey?" Remus asked Harry. Usually, when one drinks Firewhiskey, it would burn their throat.
"I had my first drink it on my birthday, remember?"
Remus did remember. They had let Harry try it when everyone went home and it was just the three of them. Remus nodded, "I remember."
"Are you staying down here tonight?" Sirius asked, wrapping his arm around Harry.
"Yes, I told Ginny when left this morning that I was staying with you."
"Okay then."
Harry spent the evening playing games with Sirius and Remus. He enjoyed spending time with them and loved any quality time he could get with Sirius. Some of his friends had asked if he was okay with Remus and Sirius being there at school with him. Harry answered, honestly, 'I don't mind it at all.'
Sure, there were times when he was trying to have some alone time with Ginny and Sirius interrupted much to Remus's amusement. But it was moments like this made Harry thankful he had Sirius and Remus with him. They would give him advice, encourage him, help with homework when needed, and take care of him when he got sick.
Ginny was very understanding when Harry would tell her he was spending the night in the Marauder's quarters, the twins had named it. They would meet the following morning in the Great Hall or if Harry returned to the tower early, they would meet in the common room like they had every morning while at school since they started dating.
When the games were over, Harry showered and got ready for bed. He pulled out his communication mirror and talked to Ginny for a while before he went to bed.
"If the weather is pretty tomorrow, could we have a picnic outside under our tree?" Ginny asked when the conversation was winding down.
"Sure, and if the weather's rainy, we can come down here for lunch, if you want?" Harry suggested, as a backup plan.
"Will Sirius and Remus mind?"
"No, they won't mind, considering we've done it before."
"We have haven't we," Ginny said, smiling.
"Gin, they're going to think we were up to no good while we were in here without them," Harry hissed, whispering.
"We did snog on that couch, you know," she whispered.
"I know, and every broom cupboard from here to the Great Hall."
"Which one was your favorite?" Ginny asked.
"I think the on the second floor, it wasn't too small."
"Mine will have to be the one the third floor."
"That one was a little small, why did you pick that one?"
"Because I can be closer to you," Ginny replied.
"Oh. What about the one near the Defense classroom?"
"We avoid that one because that was where Sirius found us that one day," Ginny reminded him.
"Yeah, forget about that. Sirius took the mickey of me for weeks following that."
Ginny then told Harry about her day and how she had missed him being with her but understood he had gone to Lily's grave and was spending time with Sirius.
She had spent the day with some of her girlfriends, catching up on the latest gossip around school. Ginny wasn't much of a gossip, but it didn't hurt to know what was going on around school either.
"Ron and Hermione disappeared somewhere after lunch and I didn't see them again until dinner. Ron's hair was messed up, and Hermione looked flushed."
"And you're telling me this why?" Harry asked.
"I figured you would want to know what your best friends were doing."
"They probably went to the broom closet near the library," Harry said. "Don't ask me how they to know that."
Ginny smiled, knowingly.
"Demi wants to know when Quidditch practice is," she said.
"I think I have one scheduled soon, the finals are coming up."
When Harry yawned five minutes later, Ginny told him that he better get to bed before he fell asleep.
"Good night, Gin."
"Good night, Harry. I love you."
"I love you too."
Harry laid the mirror on his nightstand and got up to head to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He returned and turned down the bed and crawling in.
Glancing over at a picture of him and Lily, Remus had given him, he whispered, "Good night, Mum. I love you."
He laid down and fell asleep. Harry kept the tradition of going to the cemetery on Mother's Day, only the next time when he went, a redheaded woman with brown eyes accompanied Harry and Sirius to the cemetery. Mother's day is a day to honor mothers, but could also be a day to remember mothers who are no longer on earth, even if you don't remember them, like Harry.
AN: I meant to publish this Sunday, but time got away and it wasn't exactly finished. I hope you enjoy reading this fic.