A Sleepless Night
Summary: Harry can't sleep one night following his return home following his fourth year. Sirius finds him in the kitchen and they have a godfather and godson chat in the middle of the night.
The quietness of the house was broken by the sound of a door creaking open. Harry slipped out of his bedroom and towards the stairs careful not to make a sound. He hadn't been able to fall asleep that night, even though he had gone to bed at ten. He couldn't stand to lie in bed anymore and decided to go down to the kitchen and wait until he felt sleepy.
He walked down the stairs, careful to avoid the ones that creak. The light that Remus leaves on in the kitchen was Harry's only light as he entered the kitchen and headed to the refrigerator. He pulled out the jug of milk and sat it on the counter. It was as he was looking in the cabinet above the stove that he realized they were out of hot chocolate mix.
Sighing Harry returned the milk to the refrigerator and decided to make himself some tea instead.
Maybe it would relax him enough to get some sleep.
While he waited for the kettle, he thought back over the last month.
He thought of the third task, how it had gone south, so quickly, how scared he was being tied up on the tombstone, watching the man who murdered his parents be brought back to life. He was then reminded of the pain he went through under the Cruciatus Curse. He didn't want to experience that ever again.
He glanced down at the scar on his arm. Thanks to balms and creams, it wasn't so vivid anymore, but it was still there, a reminder of the horror he went through on that night.
The only happy thought he had from that night was when he was brought to the hospital wing by Professor Dumbledore. Sirius met them at the door and picked up Harry, quite literally, and placed him on a bed. But before Sirius had moved to allow Madam Pomfrey to treat Harry, he engulfed the teen in a tight hug, thankful that Harry was still here.
An hour later, after being treated by Madam Pomfrey and telling Sirius and Professor Dumbledore what happened, the doors to the hospital wing opened and in rushed Ginny, Ron, and Hermione. Ginny was the first to get to Harry and was taken by surprise when Harry pulled her into an embrace, a tight embrace.
He told her later that there was a moment as he was tied to the tombstone, that he would never see her again. He also told Sirius and Remus the same thing, causing both men to hug him in between them. Who squeezed him the hardest it was hard to tell.
The kettle whistled bringing Harry back to the present. He made himself some tea, and as he was walking to the table, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror Remus had hanging on the wall in the den that was just off the kitchen and dining area.
Harry couldn't take the long hair anymore and decided it was time for it to be cut. Sirius had done it himself and had cut off a little more than Remus thought he should. When he went to the Burrow the following day, Fred asked him if had a scalping. Molly thought it looked better and even said that Sirius had done a good job, even though he left the front long enough for Harry to hide the scar. The reaction that stood out to him was Ginny. She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair.
"I happen to like it," she said, making Harry smile.
Harry picked up the day's Prophet and seen that Fudge was voted out of the minister's office and Amelia Bones, acting as interim minister, was considering Rufus Scrimgeour as the new Minister of Magic.
Since he was considered for Minister, he had requested to meet with Harry and since Harry was underage, Sirius requested to be present at the meeting. Scrimgeour agreed. It turned out to be repeating everything Harry had told Fudge and the memories were included. The difference between Fudge and Scrimgeour was that the latter believed Harry.
He had said that if he was to be Minister of Magic, he would help Magical Britain prepare for an upcoming war.
If anything, Harry was glad he wasn't being called a liar and an attention seeking child.
He didn't ask for any of this. Didn't they understand that?
It was in the moments with Ginny, whether it was at the Burrow or Marauder's Place he felt that he could be a normal teenager without the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Harry was lost in his thoughts that he didn't hear Sirius coming down the stairs and enter the kitchen.
"I thought I heard you up," Sirius said, making Harry jump. "Sorry, Pup I didn't mean to scare you."
"It's okay," Harry murmured. Sirius made himself a cup of tea and collected the biscuit tin, bringing it to the table. He sat down in the chair at the head of the table as Harry sat down in the chair on his left.
"Why are you up?" Sirius asked.
"I couldn't sleep," Harry admitted. "My brain wouldn't shut off."
"You could still get a sleeping potion," Sirius reminded him gently.
"Yeah, and then I'll be suffering from cramps for a week," Harry grumbled. The downside of taking sleeping potions, especially strong was it caused stomach cramps or digestive distress. Harry, unfortunately, was handed the cramps. He couldn't decide which was better or worse. The cramps were painful, almost as if his belly was being squeezed in a vice and the distress made him feel nauseous and he didn't want to eat.
He could live on nutrient potions, but they caused the same side effects. Harry had figured out early on to make himself eat, even if he didn't feel like it. It usually wasn't enough to satisfy Sirius and Remus, who were understandably concerned, but at least it was something and he had something in his stomach instead of nothing at all.
"If we can find something to give you relief it might make it better for you," Sirius said.
Harry's response didn't surprise Sirius. "Well, I know one source of relief, but I don't want to drag her over here every time I get cramps or get sick."
Sirius knew who Harry was referring to. He was referring to his girlfriend Ginny, whom he had been dating since December. She had the one who helped take care of him when he got sick from the Gillyweed he had used in the second task. He had swallowed some on accident and come to find out he was allergic to Gillyweed.
Harry spent the next twenty-four hours in Sirius's quarters with Ginny. The Gillyweed had made him sick to his stomach and given him an awful case of diarrhea, one that he hoped he never had to suffer from again.
After some encouragement from Sirius, Ginny tried rubbing Harry's stomach. To her surprise and immediate relief, it helped. Harry told her that her hands felt good on his stomach and anytime from then on, he told her when he didn't feel good, especially when the stress of preparing for the third and final task made him sick and he didn't want to bother Sirius.
She had taken him up to his dorm and made him lay down in his bed. She laid down behind him and slipped her hand under his shirt, rubbing soothing circles on his abdomen. It made him relax enough, he fell asleep.
"Something tells me she wouldn't care," Sirius stated, smirking. He knew that if he flooed the Burrow and said that Harry needed Ginny the redhead would be over without another word and would provide Harry with the comfort he needed. She was like her mother in that way.
Sirius glanced down at the cup in front of Harry, seeing that it was tea and not hot chocolate.
"Why are you drinking tea?"
Harry sipped his tea as it was now cooled down enough to drink.
"We're out of hot chocolate mix," Harry explained. "There's enough if you want a cup."
"I'll add hot chocolate mix to the shopping list," Sirius replied, getting a cup and pouring himself a cup of tea.
"I already did," Harry informed him.
"Oh," Sirius murmured, as he moved to the seat beside Harry.
"Are you going to the Burrow tomorrow or is Ginny coming here?" He asked.
"She's coming here," Harry answered. "I thought I'd take her to Hatfield tomorrow since she's only been to Ottery St. Catchpole and Diagon Alley in London."
Sirius nodded. He didn't see any reason why Harry couldn't explore the small town they lived in on his own. Sirius would give him a medallion to use as a portkey to bring him back home in the event of an emergency.
Silence fell in the kitchen with the only sound of Sirius sipping his tea and Harry opening the biscuit tin and pulling out a chocolate chip cookie. He munched on the cookie as Sirius took the tin and pulled out a shortbread biscuit.
"That was the last of chocolate chip." Sirius glanced at Harry, as he put the rest of the cookie in his mouth.
"Not my problem," Harry said around the cookie in his mouth.
Sirius chuckled. The older Harry got, the more he reminded Sirius and Remus of James. Harry had a little bit of Lily in him as well, but the James in him dominated. Despite his early upbringing, Harry had turned out to be what James and Lily hoped he would, a caring, kind, and considerate young man.
Harry had been living with Sirius and Remus for a year and in that time a lot had changed. Harry's health was among them. He was healthier than he ever had been before he lived with Sirius and Remus. He was eating better and was growing as a result. It felt weird for Harry to wear a pair of jeans he didn't have to ask Hermione to shrink to get them to fit him. Those jeans and the other castoffs from his relatives were given to a charity shop once Sirius had fully replaced Harry's wardrobe with clothes that fit.
But the big change came Christmas when Harry and Ginny started dating.
"How are things with you and Ginny?" Sirius asked, curiously.
"Good," Harry replied. "Can I ask you something, Sirius?"
Not knowing what he was about to ask, Sirius nodded. "Sure, Pup."
"Um, would you happen to know how long Dad and Mum dated before they got serious?"
Sirius smiled briefly at the pun. "Well, they started dating in their sixth year, so you're almost a year behind them. They got serious at the end of their sixth year and were inseparable their seventh year."
Harry nodded, swallowing. "Reason, why I'm asking, is because I think I've really fallen hard for Ginny. The last six months, almost seven have been….I can't really describe all I know is….." Harry trailed off.
"Take your time, Prongslet," Sirius said.
"The thing is, she looks at me and I just….." Harry trailed off again. How could this be so hard?
"Forget your own name?" Sirius asked.
"Exactly," Harry sighed. "Every time she looks at me it's almost as if everything stops and I more than forget my name. I forget to breathe. And when she smiles at me, I get butterflies or snitches, not sure which, in my stomach and my heart feels like it's about to pound right of me."
"Harry," Sirius murmured, gaining the teen's attention. "Your Dad felt the same way about your Mum. I had to listen to him go on and on about how wonderful she is, how beautiful she is and I came close to hexing him many times. Sometimes I just wanted to slap and tell him to ask her out already. To his and my surprise, she said yes when she did ask her. Though he had tried many times and she said no."
"Really?" Harry asked.
"Really," Sirius replied. "They were happy together."
They sat in silence, drinking their tea. The sounds of the house at the night seemed to echo in the quietness. The clock in the corridor upstairs and the one on the wall in the kitchen seemed to be ticking loudly. A flush upstairs told them Remus had gotten up to go to the bathroom, but when a creek of the stairs didn't follow, they knew he had gone back to bed.
"I've been thinking about Mum and Dad a lot here lately," Harry admitted.
"You have," Sirius stammered, surprised.
"Remember when I told you about me finding the Mirror of Erised?" Harry asked softly.
Sirius knew what Harry was talking about and nodded. He realized why Harry had brought this up.
"You saw your parents," Sirius whispered. He remembered Harry telling him about that when he told him and Remus about his first two years at Hogwarts. He remembered fighting the urge to pull Harry into an embrace, wanting to wait until he was done to do so. He also remembered the heartbreaking realization that Harry didn't even know what his parents looked like until that moment.
Harry nodded. "I didn't know what they looked like before then. I remember I said 'Mum, Dad' and their imagines nodded and they smiled at me."
Sirius reached over, rubbing his hand along Harry's back.
"It was never enough," Harry whispered. "How can I miss two people that I don't even know?"
Sirius reached over and pulled Harry into an embrace, smiling softly when Harry laid his head on his shoulder.
"I saw them in the graveyard. Did I tell you that?" Harry asked.
Sirius nodded. "You did," he confirmed.
"I couldn't remember if I did." Harry took a long sip of his now cold tea. He got up to take the cup to the sink when Sirius stopped him.
"Don't worry about that. I'll get in the morning."
"Okay." Sitting down in his seat, he sat the cup down beside Sirius's empty one. "You know if Remus is up before you he's going rare right?"
"I do. But before everything that happened before that Halloween night, we lived together in a flat in London. He's used to my untidiness."
"Didn't you once say that Mum couldn't stand your untidiness?" Harry asked, smirking.
"Yes. If she saw the disaster that is your room, she would be ranting and raving at you to clean it up. But I have to say that you do clean up without me getting after you too."
Sirius knew the reason why. He had allowed Harry to have a messy room, to a point. When it got to where something smelled or there was no path from the door to the bed that was when Harry cleaned his room, a lot of times without being told. Sirius also knew he had the rare teenage boys who did what he was told without complaining.
The only time Harry complained was when he wasn't feeling well.
"Harry, you do know what happened in the graveyard wasn't your fault right?"
"You have. I think seeing Healer Sammons has helped with my survivor's guilt," Harry murmured.
Healer Sammons was a mind healer and a therapist who Dumbledore recommended for Sirius to take Harry to. Not only did she help him with the guilt he felt following the graveyard and Cedric's death, but also some of the lingering effects of living with the Dursleys for twelve years. Sirius couldn't thank the healer enough for her help and was happy when she told him that she was dismissing Harry after his last appointment.
She also told him to owl her if they needed her again.
"I think so too. I know I lived with guilt for years following your parents passing. I can't tell you how many times I wished that I remained their secret keeper and never trusted that rat," he spat.
"Healer Sammons told me that I couldn't have known what was going to happen."
"She said the same thing to me when I talked about witnessing Cedric's…" He trailed off.
"I know what you mean."
Godfather and godson sat quietly at the table, silence returning to the kitchen once again as they had a pause in the conversation.
"How do you really feel about me and Remus being at the castle?" Sirius asked, suddenly, breaking the silence.
"I already told you I was fine with it. I liked having you at school there last year when you filled in for Professor Sinistra. Plus with OWLs this year, Ron and I would need somewhere to escape from Hermione and somewhere she couldn't find us or get to without me telling the guard the password."
"Sneaky, Prongslet. Very sneaky."
"Desperate times call for desperate measures. Just do me one favor?"
"What's that?" Sirius asked.
"Don't be those parents who hover constantly. I don't want to worry about being alone with Ginny and you finding us snogging somewhere."
"I won't hover over you, I promise," Sirius said. "The second thing, I don't know about, I might sneak up on you."
"Sirius," Harry groaned.
"I'm kidding, Pup. I'll let you and Ginny have your alone time. Though do keep in mind that I'm not ready for little feet running around."
"What are you talking about...?" Harry realized what Sirius was meaning. "Sirius, we haven't even talked about that."
"I just thought I'd mention it."
"No worries Sirius. Because we've barely been dating a year and I think it would be too quick to say let's shag in a broom cupboard."
"I don't ever what to hear that word come out of your mouth again," Sirius deadpanned.
"Don't worry, I won't say to you because it nearly killed me to say it to you."
Sirius ruffled his hair, making Harry's bed head hair messier then what it already was.
The silence returned to the kitchen again, as the only sound in the house was breathing from Harry and Sirius and the slight sound of ticking clocks.
Harry yawned, the first time since he came downstairs that he yawned. He didn't even bother covering his mouth, especially when he yawned for the second time.
"Sleepy?" Sirius asked.
"Getting there," Harry admitted.
"Come on, let's go back to bed," Sirius said, getting up from his chair. Harry followed him out of the kitchen and up the stairs. Harry headed back to his bedroom, climbing in bed, suddenly feeling sleepy.
He laid down as Sirius got the summer weight quilt and tucked it around Harry.
"Good night, Pup," He said, leaning down to kiss his forehead.
"Good night Sirius."
Harry was asleep before Sirius left the room. He stood at the door, watching Harry sleep. He smiled at seeing Harry get some sleep and shut the door behind him. He knew that Harry would have many sleepless nights over the next few years, but he knew he would be there with a cup of hot chocolate or a cup of tea.