?
My teeth gnashed as the phone rang in my ear, the call being ignored on the other end. The wind that tossed my hair did little more than just that, usually something that would bear me comfort and sanity.
Above, the sky was all-encompassing gray clouds as far as the eye could see, washing the concrete landscape in dreary light, a melancholy that sapped the soul. Nonetheless, the scene of bustling city streets played out before me. The wind down hours of the lunch rush saw all kinds of humans; businessmen, construction workers, and doctors walking along the city's main road. Even some of the few accomplished trainers in the region combed the streets with their prized pokémon. Posers.
"Come on, you bastards," I groaned as the eighth ring sounded in my ear. I stirred the cocktail in my hands, as agitated as the liquid swirling around the bottle.
They finally picked up after an eternity. "What now?" the voice from the phone asked with impatience. Oh, how I hated that voice.
I stood abruptly and began to pace; the phone clenched in my fist. "This is insane! I told you guys we shouldn't be doing this; it's too stupid and dangerous to risk getting caught here," I berated him. Technically not a lie.
He scoffed. "What, and the rest of the shit we do isn't? Shut up and do your job," he said dismissively.
"This is not what I signed up for."
A snort in my ear. "And you think that matters? You're unfortunately part of this team, so where we go, you'll go." He paused briefly. "And what do you mean by that anyway? You don't exactly trip 'n fall into this kind of stuff, dude."
Disregarded, typical. "Just come back; you know this is a whole other league; you need to consider what you're getting us into," I said, not allowing the desperation to show, though seeing too late that those were the wrong words.
"There's nothing to con-" he started, a deep breath and long sigh followed. I'd lit the fuse, so much for my chances at persuasion. "Look, buddy," he resumed. "We were given a job to do, and we are going to do it with or without you. I don't care if they want us to do another harvest or terrorize the whole damn nation; we're doing it, so either you're going to toss that bottle or toss yourself off that building," he said, punctuating his words sharply. "If you wanted to do me a favor, you'd do both."
I opened my mouth to speak but drowned in his vanity. "I've been working for this chance for years, and I'm not gonna let you ruin it cause you're being a pussy. Yeah. Don't think I don't see what you're up to; that little incident last week told me all I need to know."
My pacing came to a halt; the toe caps of my boots hung over the edge of the apartment building fifteen stories up. My body was frozen in place, and my head was locked on the pavement of the sidewalk. I knew exactly what he was talking about.
Ugh, I just… When I looked into its eyes, its completely aghast eyes, it was like reality came to a head and burst, all at once; like my brain filled up with nothing but television static. Nothing was real; it was a dream that couldn't be roused from, and I could do nothing but stand there as I felt everything come crashing down.
"-fucking listening to me? Let me make this clear, do it or don't, I don't care. You've been doing this long enough; you know what'll happen." His voice became muffled as he addressed the others. "Alright, fellas, let's roll!"
"Fuck you, Lion, piece of shit," I muttered, putting the phone down. My hands instinctively found the pockets of my hoodie. My brain was a scrambled mess, unsure how much further my mind and body could go.
It hadn't bothered me much, being a part of some petty criminal team; it was actually quite relieving. Maybe it was the feeling I was just like everyone else; I had a job, friends, and a place to sleep, but not anymore. Not since everything broke. I still had these things; nothing's changed, but everything was completely different. Unfamiliar and hostile; it was… unsettling.
The wind picked up as I peered over the edge again; my neck-length brown hair blew everywhere in a frenzy. My mind was void of any thought and emotion as I extended my leg for another step, over nothing. Eyes closed, wind gusting, deep breath, but no step forward. I didn't know what it was that kept me from jumping; I didn't know what to feel anymore, so with a deep breath, I plodded back to the center of the building.
Picking up the bottle and fishing a lighter from the pocket of my hoodie on my way. My eyes flicked between them, contemplating the two objects. The bottle in my left was for some generic, cheap liquor one of my groupmates picked up. It was filled with a mix of gasoline and motor oil before we left camp. A snow-white rag was poked out of the neck, doused in alcohol just minutes prior. The lighter in my right was just some cheap dollar store cigarette lighter, but it would serve its purpose just as well as any other.
Time was running short; they'd be breaching their building soon. I sat down and got to work, furiously flicking the lighter's wheel a few times; my racing mind blocked the feeling of the sparks burning my fingers. Finally, the gas caught a spark and combusted. Shielding the fragile flame from the now howling wind with my body, I let it lick the damp cloth until it too caught fire.
A vessel of burning misery; tangled thoughts that led nowhere. My nostrils flared as I huffed. There was another way, but not here. I swore to myself that I'd get out of this mess, even if it meant destroying everything I might've had.
"Arceus, help me," I muttered as I wound up and hurled the bottle as far as I could into the busy streets below.
A/N
Hello, and welcome to my second attempt at writing. This has been cooking for over four years, so I'm ready and eager to give this another try.
I have big plans for this story. It will feature multiple protagonists, an all-original region, a deep storyline, independent side stories, and—of course—romance later down the line. I should warn those that are just looking for one shots; I emphasize the 'later down the line' part. This is a slow burn; my goal is nothing short of a real piece of fiction I can be proud of, and that means fulfilling these things. Constructive criticisms are always welcome; I want to be the best writer I can be.
This is posted primarily on AO3, but I cross-posted it here via a request. I'll be frank, I don't like FFN as someone who posts. The tools are lacking, the process is clunky, and they just don't care about this ancient anymore. As such, I'll post here, but there will always be more available on AO3 under the same name.
With all that aside, I'd like to thank What_Lies_Within and Nocturnal_Novelist for their immense support in beta-reading my stuff, as well as the other homies that never let me fall and stay down. If love is a labor, I'll slave 'til the end for you guys; this one's for you.