I'm having major writer's block with the final chapter of "Crib Confessions" and wanted to write something a bit fluffy, lighthearted, and smutty to take a break from the angst. Hopefully I'll be able to finish the last chapter of that story soon.
This story takes place in season 19, but there are no kids, pets, or significant others.
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"I'm throwin' caution
What's it gonna be?
Tonight the winds of change are comin' over me
'Cause it's some kind of sin
To live your whole life
On a might've been"
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Olivia feels slightly out of breath as she climbs the stairs to Amanda's floor, too impatient to wait for the elevator. Exhausted after a busy week at the precinct, she is looking forward to getting her relaxing weekend started, the glowing numbers on her phone indicating that it's already midway through Friday evening.
She hadn't bothered to call or text first, deciding to stop by her detective's apartment on the way home from work to drop off the wallet that she had found on the floor by Amanda's desk. She figures it had fallen from Amanda's bag on her way out of the squad room earlier that night, the younger woman presumably unaware of what had happened and likely needing it at some point over the weekend.
Olivia comes to a stop at Amanda's apartment door, hoping it's okay that she has shown up unannounced, knocking firmly a few times and hearing the light tread of footsteps a couple of seconds later. She frowns in confusion when there is a prolonged pause like Amanda is waiting on the other side of the door, before it cracks open several inches and a pale arm pokes through the gap, a hand swiping low to the ground as if in search of something.
Olivia almost reaches out to grasp onto the slender wrist before thinking better of it, not wanting to startle her detective, and decides to clear her throat loudly instead. "Rollins, what are you do-" The rest of the question fades on her lips when the door suddenly swings wide open and Amanda is standing there in a butter yellow tank top and a matching pair of boyshorts, one bare foot sporting a toe ring and blonde hair hanging in loose waves around her shoulders after being pulled back into a bun all day.
Ocean blue eyes are wide with surprise as their gazes meet and Olivia clears her throat again, this time to swallow the nervous lump that has risen there, butterflies taking up residence in the pit of her stomach.
"Liv, what are you doing here?"
Olivia is so taken aback by the younger woman's scantily clad appearance that she briefly forgets why she has come, the rectangular shape of the object that is digging into her palm reminding her that she is actually holding onto the wallet, the item now slick with sweat. It takes her a moment to find her voice as she thrusts the wallet in Amanda's direction with a slightly unsteady hand, chastising herself for the delayed response and immature reaction.
"Uh, you forgot this at work."
"Oh, shit. I didn't even realize," Amanda chuckles with a tremulous smile, Olivia suppressing a shiver as their fingertips graze each other when the younger woman takes the wallet from her. "Thanks for dropping it off, Liv. It was really nice of you to go out of your way like this. I appreciate it."
Olivia is finding it difficult to give a verbal reply and merely nods in acknowledgement as they lapse into an awkward silence, determined to keep her gaze fixed on Amanda's face and not let it stray any lower to undergarments that don't leave much to the imagination. She had already seen hardened nipples poking through the thin tank top when Amanda had answered the door, as well as the hint of a camel toe down below, wondering if she has interrupted some kind of hook-up or date, or if she should alert Amanda to the fact that some of her more personal attributes are on display.
"Were you expecting someone?" she asks tentatively, glancing around the hallway in search of potential company and feeling vaguely unsettled at the prospect of an overnight guest.
"Just a delivery."
"That's how you answer the door when you're expecting a delivery?" Olivia arches a concerned eyebrow before she can stop herself, slipping back into boss-mode despite being off-duty.
"I'm allowed to be comfortable in my own home, Olivia. I can wear whatever I want. I didn't expect to be judged for it, especially by you. Besides, it's been paid for online already so I didn't have to interact with anyone. I was just going to wait for the delivery person to walk away, and then open the door and grab it before anyone saw me," Amanda explains with a roll of her eyes, gesturing to Olivia with an amused expression. "But that didn't work out so well, did it? I didn't know it was you until I heard your voice."
"So you didn't check the peephole first to see who was out here? That seems reckless." Olivia crosses her arms over her chest and taps a foot against the floor, overtaken by a strange unease and trying to convince herself that it's just concern for Amanda's safety and nothing else.
She watches the detective roll her eyes again, the amusement swiftly morphing into irritation. "Really, Liv? I'm not about to stand here and be lectured on my recklessness when I'm off the clock. I have to listen to that enough at the precinct. Your authority does not extend to my apartment."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lecture you," Olivia murmurs in a chastened voice, unsure of why she feels the need to jump down Amanda's throat when she is the one encroaching on the other woman's personal space. "I just want you to be safe, Rollins. I'll be on my way now. I didn't mean to interrupt whatever you've got going on. And if you're having company, I'll get out of here before they arrive."
"I already told you I'm not having anyone over, Liv. I'm just waiting for a package."
Olivia feels an odd surge of relief and then tilts her head in curiosity when she notices a dark blush travelling up Amanda's neck to saturate her cheeks with color, the detective studiously avoiding her gaze now. She had assumed Amanda was waiting for a meal delivery or perhaps already had a dinner companion inside, a late supper on a Friday night that she didn't have to worry about cooking, and wonders why the blonde is embarrassed about that.
It occurs to her that the delivery is not food-related and although she knows it's absolutely none of her business; that Amanda is off work now and doesn't have to answer to her lieutenant until next week, she can't seem to help asking, "What are you waiting for?"
"None of your business, Liv," Amanda replies in annoyance, echoing Olivia's thoughts exactly, before the smaller woman bites her lip and glances at her with a remorseful look. "Sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you like that. It's been a long week and I've been really wound up. It's just something to help me, you know...relax."
"Well, it's good that you're taking time for some self-care," Olivia answers, feeling guilty for intruding on her detective's private life and realizing she is a little slow on the uptake as she clues into what relax actually means. "Oh," she mumbles knowingly a moment later, watching as the blush becomes darker on Amanda's face and feeling a matching blush gracing her own. "Well, okay, then. I'll leave you alone."
Before either of them can say another word, the elevator doors open and a burly man with a dark beard and a beige uniform steps into the hallway with a clipboard tucked under his arm, balancing a large box in one hand and a phone in the other. He spots them loitering in Amanda's doorway and strides toward them with a hurried gait, glancing at the number on the apartment door and passing the box to Olivia without even looking at her.
She can see his beady eyes instantly zeroing in on Amanda's skimpy attire, his gaze sweeping the length of her slender body as Olivia struggles to get a proper grip on the box, surprised at the weight of it. Her mind races with thoughts of what Amanda could possibly have ordered that would account for the size and heaviness of the package, her eyes narrowing when the delivery man stops dead in his tracks instead of turning around to go back the way he had come, staring openly at the detective now.
"Is there something else we can help you with?" Olivia asks in a pleasant tone, a note of steel beneath the cheer as she steps in front of Amanda, the combination of her taller frame and the giant box hiding most of the blonde's figure from what now appears to be a predatory gaze.
The man looks like he is about to say something lewd in response and then thinks better of it as his gaze flits down to the badge on Olivia's hip, shrinking back slightly when their eyes meet and she glares unblinkingly at him. "Uh, no, ma'am, I just wanted to wish you both a nice night."
"It's Lieutenant. And how kind of you," Olivia replies sweetly, holding in a chuckle at the fearful grimace on his face as he backs away slowly like he is afraid she will give chase and pounce if he moves too quickly. "We wish the same to you, sir. Bye bye, now."
She frees one of her hands from the bottom of the box to give a jaunty wave, wiggling her fingers breezily as the man stumbles back to the elevator, practically tripping over his own feet in his haste to escape. He seems to conclude that the elevator is taking too long to reappear and makes a beeline for the stairs instead, Olivia hearing a snort of laughter behind her as the stairwell door slams shut.
"It's not that I don't appreciate the sudden protective nature of my boss, but I could have handled that myself, Liv," Amanda snickers wryly as Olivia hands her the box and the detective sags under the weight of it. "Jesus, what the hell is in here? This can't be what I ordered."
Olivia trails after her when Amanda heads back into the apartment, deciding not to wait for an invitation to come inside as her curiosity gets the better of her. "I know you could have handled it yourself, but I just needed to make sure you were okay."
Despite Amanda's slight stature and the youngest detective in their squad also being the smallest, Olivia has never thought of her as delicate or frail or in need of protection, knowing Amanda is more than capable of taking care of herself. She wouldn't be a part of the team if Olivia saw her that way, needing every member to be robust and at the top of their game; able to defend themselves, their partners, and the victims they deal with on a regular basis from the perpetrators they encounter all too often.
But Amanda looks both alluring and vulnerable in her barely-there clothing, and she feels a disconcerting mix of desire and the need to shield her from the prying eyes of random creepy men. Right now, though, the vulnerability is winning as Olivia observes the disappointed expression on Amanda's face and a frustrated sheen of tears in her eyes as the blonde regards the box in dismay.
"Ugh, this is not what I ordered! They sent the wrong thing."
"What is it?" Olivia asks hesitantly as the other woman plunks the box onto the table in a less than gentle manner and rakes her hands roughly through her hair, the golden tresses fluffing out into a halo of static before settling back down.
"I don't know, some kind of dumb toy," Amanda scoffs in despair, her voice lowering to a nearly inaudible level as she adds, "and not the toy I paid for."
"So you can't follow through with your self-care plans for the evening? It's not going to...do what you want it to do?" Olivia is having trouble getting the words out as she tiptoes around the boundary line of what is considered an appropriate discussion with her subordinate.
"Get me off?" Amanda supplies for her bluntly and just like that, the line has been crossed. "No, Liv, it isn't going to do that. Because that was the self-care plan for the night. I wasn't going to fall sleep until I had a least one orgasm, but preferably multiple. I suppose I could use my fingers but they're just not getting the job done these days. I need something battery-operated now, for more power. Getting older sucks."
The younger woman abruptly stops talking, as it seems to click in that she has been having this conversation with her boss rather than a group of friends over a round of drinks at the bar, and Olivia doesn't know whose face is redder now. Her heart is hammering in her chest and she suddenly feels parched, her tongue sticking to the roof of her mouth like this interaction has left her extremely dehydrated and in need of water. She is not often at a loss for words but Amanda has been able to render her speechless more than once so far tonight, Olivia wincing in embarrassment as her sluggish response doesn't come out the way she had intended.
"Is there anything I can do to help?"
Amanda chokes on a laugh, blue eyes wide and brows raised high in shock, and Olivia's heart quickens again at the way the other woman is looking at her now, a certain sultriness mingling with the mirth. "Help? Are you actually offering to get me off, Liv?"
"Of course not," Olivia mutters in a mortified tone, hoping her increasing interest is not evident on her features as she desperately tries to maintain a neutral expression. "Can I help you try to get the package exchanged? Maybe the guy has the right one in his truck and he just dropped off the wrong one by mistake. Maybe we can track down the truck before he gets too far. That's all I meant."
Her offer is pitifully lame; she knows it and so does Amanda, a smirk playing on the detective's lips. "I thought you had a better poker face than that, Liv. But I guess it's only reserved for the precinct."
"What are you talking about?"
"It just think it's funny that you can keep such a straight face when you're interrogating a suspect or interviewing a witness, but you can't manage to do it in this situation when it's just you and me chatting." Amanda shrugs and rests her hand on a cocked hip, one leg splayed out to the side, Olivia staring at a point just over her shoulder and refusing to even spare a glance at those teeny tiny shorts that are begging for her attention.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I don't think helping me exchange the package is what you really want to do." Amanda takes a step toward her and Olivia has to resist the urge to back up, immensely bothered that she can't seem to hold her own in whatever the hell is going on with them, Amanda continuing to have the upper hand.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"I think you do," Amanda insists lightly, and they are standing so close to one another now, Olivia has no choice but to look at her. "You know, Liv, anything that happens between us doesn't count."
"Doesn't count as what?" It feels like there is sandpaper lodged in Olivia's throat and it's becoming harder to swallow, her voice sounding raspy and pathetic to her ears.
"It doesn't count as sex between a lieutenant and detective, if that's where this night is heading. It's just sex between two women on equal ground. Remember how I told you that you have no authority in this apartment?"
"Well, I don't think that's true. I think it still counts," Olivia chuckles dryly, watching as Amanda licks her lips slowly and blinks up at her with long lashes framing those big blue eyes, looking far more angelic than she has a right to.
"Not if no one knows. And not if it takes place in the privacy of my home."
"We'll be the ones living with the consequences if anyone finds out." Olivia desperately tries to avert her gaze from Amanda's tank top, her small breasts remaining perky even without a bra, stiff nipples straining so hard against the paper-thin fabric, she wonders if they will burst right through the shirt in tiny eruptions of pink.
"You can look, Liv," Amanda says softly, as if she is reading her lieutenant's mind, Olivia shifting awkwardly from one foot to the other. "I didn't like when that pervy delivery guy was staring at me, but I like when you do."
"I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable."
Amanda giggles at her response, the sound tinkly and musical and so unlike her usual tough persona that goosebumps rise on Olivia's skin to pebble the length of her arms and legs. "I just told you that I like it, Liv. I'm not uncomfortable in the least." There is a breathy pause before she keeps speaking. "Well, I guess that's not entirely true. There is a certain part of me that...aches."
Olivia coughs roughly and bites the inside of her cheek, this time letting her gaze drift down to the juncture of Amanda's thighs, where the material of the garment is pulled taut against her body and the outline of her nether regions is distinct. She assumes that's where the ache resides, her breath catching sharply when she sees a small damp spot on the crotch and notices Amanda's smirk of satisfaction in her peripheral vision.
"Do you ever get that kind of ache, Liv?" Amanda's voice is lighthearted and brimming with false innocence, Olivia gritting her teeth as she contemplates whether or not to answer.
"Yes, sometimes," she finally admits, putting a halt to her words before she acknowledges the throb that is making itself known in her own groin, unable to tear her eyes away from the wet mark on those butter yellow boyshorts.
"And how do you take care of it?"
"Amanda, I think we're going to have to stop with this conversation," Olivia gasps urgently as she presses her legs together against the growing dampness and increasing tension, a tingling spreading outward from her center to encompass her entire body.
"Sorry, am I making you uncomfortable?" Amanda's tone is genuine, no trace of teasing or sensuality now, and Olivia smiles tenderly at her, stunned at the direction this evening seems to be taking.
"I'm just uncomfortable in the same way that you are," she confesses quietly, deciding there's no point in denying her arousal anymore, the feelings she has been trying to suppress for so long rising from the depths of her soul and welling to the surface, threatening to explode.
A shiver runs down Olivia's spine as Amanda reaches out to take her hand and lace their fingers together, her thumb rubbing soothingly back and forth across sweaty skin. "Well, maybe we can help each other out, then," she suggests softly, giving their linked digits a gentle squeeze.
"Yeah, maybe," Olivia whispers thoughtfully, their gazes locked on each other in anticipation as she seriously considers throwing caution to the wind and shedding her inhibitions, finally taking a chance and going for what she truly wants.
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*Song lyrics are from The Killers' "Caution"