Mina would be the first to admit she wasn't the most patient person in the world. Worlds, whatever. But they still had to wait two whole days to see if they won the photo contest! They should be getting a prize for withstanding the suspense, honestly. Then the real trick of somehow getting the others to agree to get the hamster ball would begin, but Mina was certain she was up to the task.
In the meantime, however, they had to find other ways to entertain themselves. Like watching Ducktective, for example. Mina leaned up against the couch's armrest as she stared at the screen.
"I'm afraid your services won't be required here sir. My men have examined the evidence, and this is obviously an ac-ci-dent."
"Accident, constable? Or is it…. MURDER?"
"Well yeah, obviously, otherwise it wouldn't be a mystery show," Ochako commented dryly.
"Sure, but the fun part isn't realizing a crime was committed, it's who and how," Izuku said. "I mean, to be fair, this is pretty good for a kids show. I think even Shouto likes it." He nodded towards said hero in training, who didn't respond, eyes fixed to the screen.
"Hey dudes! You'll never guess what I found!" Soos poked his head around the door. After that big adventure they had shared the day before, Mina decided she liked Soos. He was super nice, and willing to go along with just about anything. Definitely more fun to be around than cynical grumpy Stan. The four got up and followed him out of the room, Izuku and Shouto somewhat reluctant to leave the show behind.
"So I was cleaning up, and I found this crazy secret room, hidden behind the wallpaper!" He leaned in. "It's super creepy." Soos opened the door to reveal a ton of wax statues. Shouto automatically backed up.
"I don't like this at all. These were here the whole time and we didn't even know?" He said quietly.
Mina grinned back at him as she walked further in. "Not a fan of strange wax figures huddled together in a room?" She poked one out of curiosity. The thing seemed pretty well built. "I've never seen this guy before. Who's he supposed to be?"
Soos frowned in thought. "Hmmm… I think that's Larry King. He does interviews. Maybe you dudes don't have him in your world. But I get what you mean man." He nodded back at Shouto. "It feels like these things are watching me."
Ochako inspected a wax figure of Sherlock Holmes. "These are actually really well made."
"Except for that one, it's like the quality dipped." Izuku nodded towards one figure. Than the figure moved and spoke! Izuku yelped and jumped back.
"Don't worry! It's just me! Stan!" Mina was not ashamed to say that she screamed just as loudly as the others and ran out of the room. She did feel guilty about knocking over Shouto on the way out though. Oops.
"Ah the wax museum. My most popular attraction! Y'know, until I forgot all about it. Anyway, I've got all the greats here. Wax Genghis Khan, Sherlock Holmes, some kind of, I dunno, goblin man." He squinted at Larry King.
Shouto shuddered. "Seriously. Are none of you going to talk about how strange this whole thing is? This is a weird town, they could be alive or something." Mina was pretty sure that was just Shouto's weird fear of strangely realistic looking wax figures, but whatever.
"And now for my favorite, wax Abraham Lincoln!" Stan gestured towards a melted pile of wax, situated under the one conveniently open window in the entire room. "Wait, what? Seriously, the blinds were open? Dammit!"
Mina leaned forward to take a look at the wax. Sure, she had only taken the most basic arts and crafts when she was younger, but maybe she could do something with it. She caught Ochako's eye, who grinned and turned to the older man. "Don't worry Stan! I was big on arts and crafts when I was a kid. I'm sure we can whip you up something amazing."
Stan just frowned and walked out of the room, calling "Yeah whatever" as he went. Mina and Ochako stared at his back for a moment, then turned to each other.
"You know," Mina started cheerfully. "That almost sounded like a challenge." Ochako smiled.
"We're gonna make the best wax statue ever!"
Izuku wandered over to the pair, Shouto and Soos behind him. He handed them each a pit cola. "So, how's the statue going?"
"Awesome!" Mina said. She lathered the pants with black paint. "And even if Stan doesn't believe in us, he did inspire our wonderful work of art." She and Ochako stepped back to admire their masterpiece. "Hmmm, needs more glitter."
"On it," Soos said. He left the room and returned a few minutes later with a bucket full of glitter. He then dumped said bucket on the figure.
Mina smiled. "Perfect."
Stan chose just the right moment to walk back into the room. "I found my pants, but now I can't find my- ahhh!" He yelped and tumbled backwards, ending up sprawled out on the floor.
"Are you alright?" They leaned over him nervously.
"Alright? I'm better than alright!" Stan struggled to his feet. "I thought you kids were kidding when you said you'd make me a statue, but you weren't! You guys have tons of gumption. I never should have doubted you." He threw his hands up. "The wax museum is back in business!"
As expected, the town came in droves. Izuku was there to guide everyone to their seats. Wendy and Shouto maned the ticket booth, which Mina was honestly surprised he agreed to.
He had just shrugged her question off though. "We have to stay on his good side. Also he bribed me."
Mina stood on stage with Ochako, ready to show off her masterpiece. Stan cleared his throat and made his way to the mike.
"You all know me folks, town darling Mr. Mystery. Please ladies, control yourselves! As you know, I always bring this town mysteries and befuddlements the likes of which the world has never known. But enough about me. Behold. Me!" He unveiled the statue.
Unfortunately, due to everyone only being there for free pizza they seriously should have known Stan wasn't going to give out, things just went downhill.
Stan didn't seem to bothered by it though. After all, he still got tons of money from the event. "Hot tamales! Look at all this cash! And I owe it all to one person. Mina frowned. Just one? She and Ochako had done it together. Stan patted wax Stan's arm. "This guy right here."
Figures. I don't know what I expected.
Stan noticed them. "Oh and you two also. Now wash up, it's back to work for you tomorrow." she sighed. It wasn't so bad though. Even if it was mostly Ochako, Mina couldn't help but feel like she had just accomplished something really cool, something she could look at and think I made this, and it's amazing. It was almost as nice as being a hero. Almost.
Mina was waiting outside the bathroom for her turn to brush her teeth when she heard Stan's screams. Panicked, she raced downstairs with the others to find a very headless wax statue.
"Wax Stan! He's been m-m-murdered!" Stan was shaking and sweating, staring wide eyed and terrified at the decapitated wax man. Not that Mina blamed him one bit. It would be totally unnerving to find someone had chopped off the head of a figure looking just like her.
The question of course was who and how?
The lights of the cop car shone outside the window. It was the first time Mina, or any of them for that matter, had gotten a good look at the law enforcement in Gravity Falls. Mina could almost have believed there was no law enforcement, with everything they've seen, but as it turned out, what they did have was so utterly poor at their job that it didn't really matter.
"I get up to use the john right," Stan told them. "And when I get back, Blamo! He's headless!"
Mina got on the ground and studied her sullied artwork. It was a clean cut, but it was still painful. All that hard work and some asshole decided to go and ruin it just like that! Izuku leaned over and patted her shoulder. "Do you know who did this?" He asked the cops.
The tall one looked over at the short one. "What's your opinion, sheriff Blubs?" The short cop sipped his coffee.
"Look, I'd love to help you out and all, but let's face the facts. This case is unsolvable."
"What?" Izuku said. "Y-you can't just say that! You haven't even looked around yet. There has to be evidence or something! We can, we can help if you need us to."
Shouto was not so polite. "You call yourselves police? This is despicable." Probably not the best thing to say. The cops go on the defensive, mocking Izuku and Shouto for thinking they could solve it, like total jerks, then skipping out to see someone try and fit a whole cantaloupe in his mouth. They were adults, right?
Oh yeah, this was Gravity Falls.
Izuku frowned at their retreating figures. "Well, since they're obviously not going to help us, we'll have to figure this out on our own." He smiled at Mina and Ochako. "Come on guys, let's figure out who messed up your artwork."
"This is taking away valuable time from finding a way home," Shouto muttered. Mina reached over and patted him on the back.
"Don't worry so much! And this is important too, you know. Someone or something hurt wax Stan. For all we know, they could be the key to getting home. Besides," she added slyly. "Isn't doing all this detective work going to be good hero training?"
"I really don't think so." But in spite of his doubt, Shouto agreed to help.
The next morning, the four set up the crime scene. Ochako used toilet paper as yellow tape, and Mina took pictures of their statue. Shouto had set up a board of all their suspects, and Izuku was looking around the floor for anything the vandalizer might have left behind.
It didn't take him long. "Guys, come check this out!" He pulled an actual axe up from behind the couch. Which was super awesome, by the way. Y'know, if it hadn't been used on their artwork.
Ochako took the axe from Izuku and held it up to the light to inspect it. "Hang on, didn't one of the wax figures have an axe with them? Maybe someone used that to chop of wax Stan's head."
Izuku nodded in agreement. "That's a definite possibility. But we should also look into that lumberjack. He had an axe, and was furious enough to punch a tree when he didn't get that free pizza."
The four headed out into the shop. "Hey Soos!" Mina called out. "Do you know where we can find that big hairy lumberjack from earlier?"
"We need to talk to him to see if he's the one that cut off wax Stan's head," Ochako added.
"Oh Manly Dan? Yeah, he hangs out at this crazy intense biker joint." Soos smiled at the students. "Dude, this is so cool. You guys are like, the Mystery Crew."
Shouto crossed his arms. "Don't call us that." They walked outside, where the real Stan was hiefting a coffin out of his car.
"Hey, can you kids give me a hand with this? I'm doin' a memorial for wax Stan. Something small, but classy." He wiped the sweat off his brow. "Damn this thing is heavy."
"Sorry Stan," Izuku said. "We've got a big break in the case. We're going into town to investigate it right now." Ochako lifted up the axe to show it off to him.
Stan glanced at the axe. "Sounds like something a responsible guardian wouldn't want you doing. Good thing I'm not your guardian. Avenge me kids! Avenge meeeeeee!" Sometimes, Mina really liked Stan.
Izuku and Shouto had worried about the fake IDs, but Mina had waved them off. If there was anything to be learned in this town, it was that anything goes. For example: the biker joint didn't allow minors that worked in real mines, but they didn't seem to mind minors that were obviously underage. The four got in just fine. The bar itself of course was just as Soos described it. Mina was pretty sure one of the guys in there was knocked out drunk, and most of the others seemed to be fighting.
They split up, Shouto and Ochako sitting at the bar trying to blend in, where Mina and Izuku went to talk to Manly Dan. "So, Manly Dan," Mina started. "Do you mind telling us where you were last night?"
"I was punchin' the clock," he growled.
"So…. you were at work?" Izuku asked.
"No, I was punching that clock!" He pointed to a broken clock outside, with severe dents in it. It was stuck at ten, when the crime took place.
Izuku wasn't done with the questions. "So, you've never seen this before?" He held up the axe.
"That thing? Bah! That's a left handed axe. I only use my right hand. The MANLY hand!" He ripped off the arm of the machine he was fighting, bashing it up while a skinny guy came over and chanted "Get 'im, get 'im!" Thoroughly intimidated, the two grabbed Ochako and Shouto and left.
"Well, it does narrow down the suspects a lot," Shouto said when they told him and Ochako what they learned. "Now we just need to find out who was at the opening and if they're left handed, and we can get this whole thing over with."
Ochako pulled out a list of everyone they had previously thought of. "Let's solve this case!"
"So the answer is no one on this list." Mina frowned as she double checked everyone they had gone over. They had used different measures for each, such as having the suspects sign a signature or catch a baseball. It seemed everyone at the party was right handed.
"Maybe it was Stan," Ochako suggested, although she didn't look happy about the idea. "Maybe he did it for the drama."
Shouto shook his head. "He doesn't seem the type to do something if he doesn't get any money from it. Besides, he eats with his right hand." Ochako didn't look like she knew whether to be relieved or not. Izuku was muttering to himself, and Mina felt antsy. How could they hope to be pro heroes if they couldn't solve a simple case like this? Shouto let out an agitated breath. "There must have been something we missed. Let's go over the evidence again." Despite his earlier hesitation, Shouto was obviously as into it as the rest of them were.
"Kids!" Stan called out. "It's time for wax Stan's funeral!" Mina exchanged a nod with the others and they all got up. They could finish solving it later.
"Kids, Soos, lifeless wax figures, thank you all for coming. Some may say it's wrong for a man to love a wax replica of himself."
Soos blew his nose and jumped up. "They're wrong!"
"Easy Soos." Stan looked down at wax Stan. "Wax Stan, I hope you're picking pockets in wax heaven." He teared up. "I-I'm sorry, I've got glitter in my eye." He ran out of the room, with Soos close behind him.
Mina got up and walked over to the statue she had been so proud of making. The others joined her. "So, now the question is, how do we find the real criminal? They may not be a villain, but we can't just let this slide."
Izuku bounced the axe lightly in his hands, deep in thought. "Ochako, didn't you say that this axe was from one of the wax figures in here?"
Ochako nodded. "Yeah, that wax women in the dress had it."
Izuku turned to them. "And we know anything can happen in Gravity Falls. So what if the one who cut off wax Stan's head wasn't human? What if they're-"
"Standing right behind you?" The four spun around to see the wax figures in the room getting up before their eyes. The woman grabbed the axe from Izuku's hand before wax Sherlock Holmes spoke. "Congratulations, my four ametur sleuths. You've unburied the truth. Now we're going to bury you." The wax figures closed in around them. "Well done Izuku. You've uncovered our little secret." He pulled out wax Stan's head, the head Mina and Ochako had spent so long working on. " Everyone clap sarcastically. That's it, nice and condescending."
"Told you these wax figures were no good," Shouto said.
Mina might have been frightened, if she wasn't really pissed. "You jerks! What gave you the right to mess up our work like that? Why would you do this?"
"Why? Why? I'll tell you why!" The figure slammed on the coffin next to her, and she jumped. "Because we're cursed! Cursed to come to life whenever the moon is waxing. After Stan Pines first bought us at a haunted garage sale, we were attractions during the day, but ruled the night! Then the bastard closed up shop and left us to melt. We've been waiting to get our revenge for years. We just got the wrong one."
Ochako backed away, horrified. "So you were trying to murder Stan for real? Forget vandals! You guys are straight up villains!" Izuku and Shouto nodded, and Mina couldn't help but agree. Sure Stan could be a jerk, but he had proven more than once he really was a good man. She couldn't let them get away with this!
"Well now that you know," wax Sherlock Holmes' eyes rolled up in his head, showing only whites. The other wax figures did the same. "You must die." The students backed against the table with food and candles Stan had set up, throwing whatever they could at them. Nothing seemed to work. Mina fought to push away the helpless feeling rising in her. If only I could use my quirk! I could make quick work of these things! Izuku threw the coffee in one's face, and it melted.
"That it!" Mina said. "We melt them!" They all grabbed candles and charged at their attackers. Mina sliced through wax figure after wax figure. In the corner of her eye, she saw Ochako decapitating Larry King and Shouto sending Genghis Khan into the fire pit.
"Mina, watch out!" Izuku called. She turned to see wax Holmes taking a sword off the wall. And swinging it towards her, knocking her candle out of her hands.
"Catch!" Shouto tossed a hot poker at her. Mina caught it just in time to block wax Holmes' next swing. He pushed her backwards and out of the room and up the stairs. She looked around to see she was cornered.
Wax Holmes raised his sword. "Once you people are out of the way, we'll rule the night once again." Ohgodohgod she needed a way out and - there!
"Don't count on it!" Mina dove under the figure and dashed to the window. She pushed it open and climbed outside. The wax figure followed her, up and onto the SHACK sign. He swung down and she swung back with her poker, carefully stepping backwards. Wax Holmes swung again and missed, knocking the "S" clean off the house.
"You really think you can outwit me girl? I'm Sherlock Bleeding Holmes! Have you seen my magnifying glass? It's enormous!" An idea struck Mina, and she climbed to the other side of the roof, nearly losing her balance on some loose tiles. Crapcrapcrap…. She caught herself just in time, and turned to see wax Holmes towering above her, sword raised. "Any last words?"
Mina smirked. "Yeah. Got any sunscreen?"
"Got any-what? Oh, come on!" He turned to see the sun rising over the treetops, and immediately started to melt. "Outsmarted by a pink child with horns? What a travesty this is! I'll get you for this!" But before any "getting" could be done, he melted off the roof and bubbled away.
Mina slumped down and let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding, as the adrenaline faded away. That was scary. Scarier than she'd imagined. She'd almost been killed! Stan had almost been killed! How could some wax figures be so scary? Was that was what a hero was always going to be like? Sure, the creepy gnomes and robot lake monster had been scary at the time, but she hadn't felt like she did now, realizing just how close to death she had come.
And yet, she'd survived. She'd won! Mina had protected her friends and new home. That feeling seemed to make up for the fear. It felt amazing. If being a hero always felt like that, then she could definitely look past the fear.
And out of nowhere, or maybe not, she felt something else. Like a presence in the back of her mind, alien and inhuman, but not scary or uncomfortable. It felt like….it felt like it was thanking her.
You're welcome. She thought. The thing seemed pleased.
Mina walked inside and back to the room where the wax figures had attacked, to find everything a mess and covered in wax. Izuku and Shouto were mopping the floors, and Ochako was happily putting the rest of the statues in the fireplace, finishing off with wax Shakespeare's head. She noticed Mina and ran over to give her a big hug. "Mina! You're okay!"
"Yup," Mina assured her. "And wax Holmes is no more." She paused, wondering if she should mention the thing. "There's something else that happened-" Stan walked in at that moment.
"Hot damn! What happened to my parlor!"
Izuku rubbed the back of his head. "Sorry Stan. Your wax figures turned out to be villains and tried to kill you, so we fought them to the death."
"I decapitated Larry King!" Ochako added helpfully.
Stan took in that information. "Ah. Thanks kids. Just try to clean this all up yeah?" He walked out. Mina supposed he'd seen weirder things.
Once they had cleaned up the mess and were getting ready for bed, Mina told the others what she had felt on the roof. "It was strange. Like something else was there in my mind, but it didn't feel bad or unfriendly. Then it left. It's gone now but - wait, there it is again!" Sure enough, the presence was back. Again, not bad, just there.
"Wha-what?" Mina turned to see Shouto staring into space, looking very weirded out. She turned to face Izuku and Ochako, seeing similar expressions. So they all felt it. It almost seemed….amused. Then it was gone.
"W-well," Izuku said, voice shaking. "That was strange. Any idea what that was?"
Mina shook her head. "Not a clue. Maybe we can ask Stan tomorrow. He might know. Or check the journal?" Izuku brought it out and skimmed through it, but found nothing. They agreed to look into it more in the morning.
It seemed the weirdness of Gravity Falls was only getting started.
Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Just a few more before things start going off show's timeline. The tough part of Gravity Falls is since it's so episodic, breaking from the timeline can be hard, but hopefully what does happen will be enjoyable. Hope you enjoyed, and please review!