Having children is not easy. Having little children or babies is even less so.

The lack of sleep, fatigue, and continuous stress make patience increasingly limited. What used to be minor bickering was now turning into a fight. A fight could last for several days and even trigger smaller ones.

After another long workday that kept Derek at the hospital till late, he returned home around nine o'clock at night. He took off his coat and briefcase and went up to his room, where he knew Addison would be. By that time, she should already be asleep.

"Can we talk about what happened last night?" Derek asked when he saw her.

They hadn't spoken since the night before, and he wasn't enjoying being in that situation. The atmosphere was tense, with bad energy flowing between the two of them, and the girls could feel it. He didn't want to keep fighting with her.

"Are we going to talk, or are you just going to throw in my face that your work life is much more intense and complicated than mine as a mother? Or will you tell me that I'm a bad mother for neglecting my daughters? Or blame me for all the mistakes Olive makes?"

"Addie, I don't want to argue."

"Then leave, I don't want to talk to you. And don't raise your voice, I just put the baby to sleep."

"Can you please stop being like this?"

"Like what? An unbearable wife who doesn't jump into your arms excited when you come home several hours later than the end of your shift?"

"The emergency room was a mess, with yesterday's accident and..."

"Yeah, well. When I ask, let me know."

"Addison..."

"I'm not interested in your excuses, Derek. You always have a new one to justify yourself. If it's not the emergency room, it's the paperwork, if it's not the paperwork, it's the board meetings, if it's not the board meetings, it's the press, you're always busy with something."

"I didn't expect that being the chief would entail so many tasks... Since I took over, I haven't been able to go into an OR!"

"Oh, poor thing. I haven't been in an OR either... I don't know, for three months? When did my maternity leave start? In August?"

"I'm sorry, Addison."

"What are you sorry for? Because I can't operate, because I can't control our walking disaster of a daughter, or because you got me pregnant in the first place?"

"First of all, I'm sorry for being late. I know you don't care about the reasons, but the situation got complicated and I was responsible. Most of the responsibilities fall on me, and I have to take care of them. Then, I'm sorry for what I said yesterday. I was tired and irritable, I shouldn't have insinuated that you couldn't handle Olive."

"Yes, I was tired and irritable too, and I didn't tell you that..."

"Addison, I'm apologizing. Can you drop it already? Do you accept my apologies or not?"

"When your apologies are sincere, maybe I'll start accepting them. Good night."

~•~

"Can I go to Jenny's house to play?" Olive asked when Addison went to pick her up from the kindergarten the next day.

"No."

"Why not, Mom? Melody's going too! Tomorrow is Saturday!"

"Melody is going because she's not in trouble like you."

"Oh, Mom. Please," Olive said, kneeling on the ground and starting to cry.

"Olive... don't cry in public."

Did she really just say that? Don't cry in public? When did she unconsciously become Bizzy?

"I mean, it's okay to cry," she quickly retracted, "but not when... not if..."

"Not if you're grounded for the rest of your life?"

"If you keep behaving like this, yes, you'll stay grounded until you turn 18. Now get up, you'll get your clothes dirty, and get in the car, we still need to go buy lunch."

"Can we have chicken nuggets?"

"No."

Olive sighed in frustration and got in the car without saying anything more; when her mother was in that mood, it was best not to keep insisting on anything.

Derek had arrived early that day. He had bought a bouquet to try to make amends with Addison. He knew it wasn't easy to convince her, and some simple roses weren't going to make their problems go away, but he had to try somehow. He wanted her to see that he really cared and regretted what had happened.

"Hi, Dad," Olive said, throwing her backpack on the living room couch.

"Ols? And your mother?"

"Outside, she's unfastening Arleth's shitty car seat."

"Hey, you can't say that word. What did we say about using bad language? It's wrong, Olive."

"You say it all the time."

"And it's wrong. Don't do it anymore."

"But you can do it?"

"No, I won't do it either..."

"That's what you always say and then you do it again."

"Derek?" Addison asked, surprised to see him at home at that hour.

"Hey, Addie," he said, approaching her and taking Arley in his arms so she could put the bags of food on the counter. She had brought Thai food.

"What are you doing here? I didn't buy you food... but surely Olive won't eat everything, so..."

"Don't worry, I stopped by a restaurant near the hospital and brought something as well. Is everything okay? How was your day, Ols?" he asked, looking at the little girl.

Olive simply took a bag of food and brought it to the table, completely ignoring her father. Derek looked at Addison, surprised. Since when had she not shown enthusiasm to see him or to share what she had done during the day?

"She's a walking disaster. What am I supposed to do if I don't know what to do?"

"Addie, I already apologized for that. I shouldn't have said it ever. I came here to make things right, I brought you some white roses to make amends..."

"Oh, peace be with us."

"Addison..."

She looked at him for a few seconds. His expression seemed regretful, the small curve between his brows, his lips pressed together forming a small smile, his bright eyes only looking at her. Addison wasn't the strongest person when it came to Derek, he had always been her biggest weakness. She couldn't hold onto anger towards him for very long.

"Okay, I accept your apology."

Derek smiled and approached her to kiss her gently.

"This food's shit, I don't like it," Olive said, interrupting them and making them separate.

"What did I just tell you about using that word? It's wrong, Olive!" Derek exclaimed, angrily.

"It's the truth. It's horrible, it looks like poop."

"If you don't like it, you can go to your room without eating. You'll see how delicious it will look when you're hungry and ask me what you can eat," Addison said firmly.

The girl turned around and ran to her room, with tears in her eyes.

"What's wrong with her? She had never behaved this badly before, she had never caused problems, and she had never been rude. Where did our sweet and innocent daughter go?" Derek asked, surprised.

"Jealousy. It's a stage she'll have to overcome."

"And if she doesn't?"

"I don't know, Derek. Sooner or later she will stop doing this to get our attention. She will realize that it doesn't work and she won't get anything out of it."

"Aren't you being too harsh on her? A bit insensitive and authoritarian perhaps?"

"Are you saying I'm like Bizzy?" she exclaimed defensively.

"I never mentioned Bizzy, you're the one who automatically thought of her."

"I don't want to be like her, Der... I'm afraid of becoming her."

"You're not like her. You're a good mother, Addie. It's just that... Olive is out of control and we're not finding the right way to deal with this."

"Stop using that word. "Out of control," we're not machines that need to be in control. We're people, she's a kid and..."

"Okay, I'm sorry. You're right."

"I'm doing the best I can, but it's exhausting. She's trying to find ways to test my patience, I swear she's thinking of what she can do to make me angry. Every day it's something new and it seems like she doesn't care anymore. She can do without video games, TV, phone, anything. And yet she continues. Did you know that while we were in the car she took the pacifier out of Arleth's mouth just to make her cry? Why does she do this? Or she pinches her or squeezes her fingers while I'm driving, to make her cry."

"I'll talk to her about that, she can't hurt the baby."

"Yesterday she unbuttoned the baby's diaper because she was "bored", and obviously she got dirty. Olive is smart, she knows what things are right and which are not. And those are little evil things that she's doing... I don't know, Derek. Our daughter isn't bad, but jealousy... jealousy is wreaking havoc on her. I still feel guilty about having fallen asleep when she took the baby downstairs..."

"Relax, nothing happened."

"How do we know that? I can't trust her anymore. I don't know what she does when I'm not looking. I found out that she gave the baby a bottle of cold milk. Why did she do that?"

"She was probably just playing."

"She could have choked her... again. I don't even know if she really regrets that time."

"Fortunately nothing happened, Arleth is fine," Derek said while caressing the baby's cheeks, she was awake and looking at him fluttering her long eyelashes.

"For now she's fine. With Olive, I can't know if she'll be okay in a few hours or if she'll throw her into the lake."

"Did she mention anything about throwing someone into the lake? Did she tell you?"

"What?"

"Nothing, forget it," he waved his hand and Arleth smiled at him, surprising him. "Hey! Are you smiling?"

"Yes, Daddy, I've learned to smile," Addison said in a childish voice.

The baby continued to look at her father fascinated, who made funny faces to keep her laughing. Although she was still too young to determine her personality, Addison could affirm that she would be very friendly as anything made her laugh.

"Hey, baby. Hey, Arley!"

"It's your smile, Derek. She has dimples in her cheeks just like you."

It was true, Arleth was more similar to Derek than Addison, unlike her older sister. While Olive had red hair and greener eyes, Arleth seemed to be brunette and with blue eyes, like her father.

"Are you Daddy's little princess? Are you? Yes, you are. You're a mini Shepherd! Yes, baby," he said, gently kissing her little hands.

The little one kept smiling and Addison, melted with love for the scene, couldn't believe how just minutes ago she was angry with that man who was playing so lovingly with her baby.

Could Derek be so damn lovable?

~•~

It was already night, they had dinner and were getting ready for bed. Derek had put Arleth to sleep. He gave her a bottle while playing with her little hands, and little by little the baby closed her eyes in his arms. When he made sure she was asleep, he gently placed her in her crib.

Addison, on the other hand, was returning after doing the same with Olive. Since she was in trouble, she hadn't read her a fairytale, but she had stayed by her side until she fell asleep. After that, she kissed her on the forehead, turned off her night light, and returned to her room. He smiled sweetly when he saw her arrive.

She walked to the side of the bed and took off her shirt, standing in her underwear in front of Derek. He looked at her in a very undisguised way, as if he had never seen her like that. Yes, her body had changed after pregnancy, and she was still returning to her usual shape. However, she had never stopped being attractive.

She could tell her husband's gaze, but she didn't say anything about it. She still felt somewhat insecure after giving birth. It had been two months and she still felt somewhat swollen around her belly, had some stretch marks and perhaps it wasn't, in her opinion, her best version.

She took her yellow silk pajamas to put them on, but Derek approached and slowly took them from her hand, leaving them resting on the bed.

It was one of those moments when they didn't need to speak to know what the other was thinking. Seventeen years of marriage had made them share the same non-verbal language.

Derek put his hand on her waist, pulling her towards his body. She could feel her skin shiver suddenly. She wrapped her arms around his neck and stayed inches from his face, brushing it with her nose. They were so close they could feel each other's breathing.

He kissed her first. He caught her lips between his and only let go occasionally to take a breath. He kissed her with passion and tenderness, making up for every hour he had been away from home.

She pulled at his curls, letting him know she was enjoying the moment. It was the first time they had this kind of intimacy after giving birth. Doctors recommend avoiding sexual activity during the first forty days postpartum to prevent the woman from contracting any bacteria or infection, as there may still be internal wounds healing. And Addison and Derek really didn't have to try very hard to fulfill those days and even exceed them; the whirlwind of their daily routine and parenthood itself didn't give them time or energy to even try.

But now it was happening and they had to take advantage of the moment. Without letting go of her mouth, Derek moved his hands to her intimate area, not even bothering to take off her underwear, he slid it aside and inserted two of his fingers inside her. Addison let out a little moan on his lips and they both laughed about it.

"Shhh, you don't want to wake the girls," Derek said in a low voice.

"Then don't make me wake them up," she whispered seductively, provoking him.

Derek sat on the bed quickly and had her sit on top of him, straddling him. He ran his hands over her back and, with caresses, began to unhook her bra. Once he could see her naked skin, he buried his face in her breasts. They were still as soft and comforting as they had always been.

"Der... if you squeeze too hard... you know," she murmured nervously. She didn't have to feel embarrassed about it, yet she did.

Derek knew she felt uncomfortable, so he chose not to say anything about it, to show her that it wasn't an obstacle or something that bothered him. He got up, turned off the lights in the room, and returned to her side.

He wanted to make her feel good, to make her forget for a few minutes that they had recently had a baby. All those fears and insecurities that Addison had about her body didn't matter to him. In his eyes, she had always been and will always be the most beautiful woman on Earth.

He began by tenderly caressing her face, sliding his fingers over every rounded angle of her cheeks. His lips, which had missed the contact with hers so much, sought hers in a kiss full of passion and love. In that kiss, she felt the warmth of his heart, the strength of his desire, and the certainty that his love had remained unchanged all this time.

Eager to show her how much he needed her, he took his lips to her neck, kissing her skin delicately, inhaling that soft vanilla scent she had. He continued descending slowly, leaving small and sweet kisses on her shoulders, savoring every moment, as if he wanted to immortalize that encounter in his memory.

Continuing his path, his lips found her arms, taking time to kiss every inch of softness and strength that composed them.

He continued descending, delicately kissing every corner of her body, until he reached her hands. His fingers intertwined with hers, once again weaving their lives together. He knew that those kisses were more than a simple gesture, they were the union of two souls that had patiently waited to be together again.

He kissed her belly, a place she would have wanted to avoid, but that he needed to feel with his lips. There, magic had occurred, their most precious treasures had grown, and the most special people they had in their lives.

"Der..."

"Shhh..."

Impatient with desire, Addison put both hands on his face to draw him to her lips again. The kisses were intensifying more and more, to the point where neither of them could wait for the next step.

Between desperate kisses and muffled laughter, both ended up undressing quickly.

"Let me know if I hurt you," he murmured with a voice full of pleasure.

Derek positioned himself between Addison's legs, heading inside her, making her die of satisfaction at feeling him inside her.

"I'm fine, keep going... oh, Der," she buried her nails even deeper in his back, letting him know she was enjoying the moment.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

~•~

That first time had been really good, surpassing both of their expectations. Addison had managed to enjoy it, Derek had been a gentleman and never made her feel insecure. In fact, she had forgotten that she had ever felt that way.

"It was good... don't you think?" she asked, still trying to normalize her breathing. They were both out of breath.

"Yeah," he replied. "Did you like it?"

"Yes, Der. Thank you for this," she said, turning to look at him. They were both lying on their backs, looking up at the ceiling.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too," she murmured, kissing him again.

"It's still as amazing as it has always been," he said.

"Do you think so?"

"Of course. You're beautiful, Addie."

Derek positioned himself over her, still kissing her, being careful not to put all his weight on her. She smiled as she wrapped her arms around him, still excited.

"Mommy..." Olive mumbled, opening the door slowly, half asleep.

"Oh!" Addison exclaimed, quickly covering herself with the sheets. The lights were off so the girl wouldn't be able to see anything, but they were still startled.

"Olive, go to your room!" Derek said nervously as he moved away from his wife.

"But I had a nightmare and..." Olive protested.

"Please close the door, Olive. You can't enter other people's rooms without asking first and..." Addison said.

"Go to bed now!" Derek ordered, scaring her.

Olive pouted and ran out of the room, holding back tears. Why were her parents yelling at her now? She hadn't done anything and they had chased her away in the worst way.

"Derek, why didn't you close the door properly? She could have walked in on a much worse scene than just now," Addison whispered angrily.

"I got distracted by you," Derek said, laughing and moving closer to her face.

"Forget it, the moment's gone."