My Death Battle Attempts

by LittleZbot

In which I take two fictional characters and pit them against each other in a duel to the death. Rules in the first chapter. NEXT EPISODE: Katara (Avatar: The Last Airbender) VS Percy Jackson (Percy Jackson & the Olympians)

9. Kirby VS Superman (OLD)

HOLY CRAP, GUYS. I honestly can't believe this is finally done. Hundreds of hours of research were poured into this thing, creating my longest chapter of Death Battle yet, even outmatching Light Yagami vs. Lelouch Vi Brittania at over 20,000 words long, complete with a battle spanning over 5,000 words. So much work. So much time. An finally, I have an answer to my greatest "Who would win?" question in history.

Are you ready?

…

Episode 8: Kirby (Nintendo) vs. Superman (DC Comics)

Champions of worlds. Aliens without a home. These two fighters have prevailed over virtually everything that has stood in their way. They've conquered demons, angels, galaxy-to-universe-level challengers, and even those considered omnipotent. Death Battle combatants are renowned for their power, but these invincible warriors that wield the powers of stars are at the top. Kirby, the last of the Star Warriors, and Superman, the Man of Tomorrow.

These two combatants are rather…strange when it comes to what is considered canon and what is not. Everyone seems to have their own definition of this detail. Because of this, let me put this up front: when it comes to Superman we'll be using all feats, abilities, and such of every version of the original Post-Crisis character. To put that into more specific terms, All-Star Superman and Injustice Superman are considered alternate timelines of the regular Post-Crisis Superman, so their abilities will be counted, but characters like Ultraman, Bizzaro, and Superman Prime/Superman Prime One Million will not be counted. For fairness's sake, we'll do the same with Kirby. This means that while we'll be counting the anime and manga versions (most people count those as canon anyway), we won't be counting, say, the reality-warping private detective Kirby that fell in love with human women or Galacta Knight, a fully-grown version of Kirby that destroyed a universe. Original canon takes precedence in all matters of stories, powers, and weaknesses. Oh, and the DC universe has been retconned four times, with only a couple characters, like the original (Ulthoon) Red Tornado, staying the same throughout, so we'll be using the modern Superman, also known as Superman Rebirth, a canonical hybrid of Post-Crisis and New 52 Superman. Also, Kirby: Star Allies just came out as I'm writing this, but I've already poured hundreds of hours into research for this battle (and I don't even own a Switch), so nothing from that game will be counted in Kirby's analysis. I hope this clarifies things.

I'm LittleZbot, and it's my hobby to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who might - no, would, win a Death Battle.

Kirby:

Many thousands of years ago, a demon named Nightmare saw an opportunity to take over the universe. As an ethereal representation of fear, he was kind of invincible except to one thing: the Star Rod, a rod that turns Star Power (the magical piece of the fabric of reality that creates goodness, hope, and energy) into a weapon. Only such a concentrated dose of goodness could counter the essence of all fear, so, while the elder gods rested from their capture of Galacta Knight, he stole the Star Rod, and with it, all chances of him being stopped. He then waged war on the universe, using his magical powers to create powerful monsters and sent these monsters out to squelch rebellion and shroud the universe in darkness. However, unexpectedly, millions of fighters from across the universe rose up and went to war against him. They were called the Galaxy Soldiers, and the greatest of them were the Star Warriors. These were exceptionally powerful fighters granted the ability to use Star Power as a form of magic. Each of them equaled and defeated many monsters, and were the driving force of the war. Nightmare became overwhelmed. He could not make monsters powerful enough to permanently stop all the Star Warriors nor fast enough to counter their attacks. Over the course of a few thousand years, with entire galaxies obliterated in the process, the Galaxy Soldier War was eventually won. Nightmare had run out of power - the soldiers had outlasted him. Barely so; of the millions, only six Galaxy Soldiers and a single Star Warrior had survived. Angered, Nightmare decided he would create one more monster. One that would be more powerful than anything it could ever be faced against.

So, alongside a few followers and surviving monsters, he created Nightmare Enterprises, a deep-space company that people would order monsters from for various reasons. Nightmare would create the monsters and send them to the client in exchange for…well, money. However before this, he'd spent all his years toiling away on the greatest creation ever seen. He crafted the being from the very magic that had been used to defeat him, Star Power, and designed it completely around one thing: the ability to adapt. The essence of the creature made it seemingly undefeatable when fully formed and experienced. He then released it in a pod that would feed it knowledge and brainwashing for it to mature over the next few hundred years. The first thing it learned was its name: Kirby.

Buuuut, then the ship sensed a monster Nightmare had sent to King Dedede, ruler of Planet Popstar, thought Nightmare was reawakening the army, and crash-landed him on the planet two hundred years before he was supposed to wake up. So now we have the most powerful creature in the universe made entirely of goodness and not having been brainwashed, so basically Nightmare totally screwed himself over. And, realizing that, Nightmare was able to convince Dedede to hate Kirby and buy things to kill him so that Nightmare could send a bunch of monsters to do away with Kirby. Unfortunately, the only thing Kirby's battles with over a hundred monsters did was give him experience and allow him to hone his abilities, essentially guaranteeing Nightmare wasn't going to live past the next decade. But enough about Nightmare (oh yeah, Kirby totally killed that guy three times), let's talk about Kirby!

Kirby is an innocent and naïve soul who is, essentially, a baby. A baby with a deep-instilled sense of good who sought to make friends with everyone, and, if that didn't work, kill them. Because then they're probably monsters. Being a great force for good, Kirby was taken under the wing of Meta Knight and trained by five different masters to achieve his true potential. He's learned the basics of over seventeen martial arts, but only uses a few in combat - when he needs to, because he'd rather eat his opponent. Yes, you heard me. Kirby is most well-known for inhaling and devouring all that gets in his way. We'll go into detail there in a moment; for now, let's talk about some other abilities. Like the ability to shapeshift! After eating a magical tomato, Kirby gained the ability to transform into a variety of things and even some minor regeneration. Now, let me clarify something: many believe the transformations to only apply to Kirby's Yarn Form, which was achieved after being sent to an alternate universe made of yarn, but it's been confirmed several times that Kirby is fully able to transform even in his normal form, including in other games, a bonus episode of the anime, and by Nintendo Power itself, the magazine devoted to all things Nintendo (may it rest in peace). These transformations include becoming a parachute, a submarine, a tank, a UFO, and a dolphin. He can turn himself into a refrigerator, complete with exploding food, an invincible, though unmoving, Gordo, and can even pull off his own face and use it as a weapon. As a Rocket, he can fly and shoot out bursts of star-based energy at all times, as a Train, he can literally think tracks into existence, and then there's his favorite transformation: The Tankbot. This powerful robot is slow, but essentially indestructible. It fires rockets and has spring-loaded boxing gloves that can also detach and fly around. Is it effective? Maybe not as much as normal Kirby, but he loves it, so why not?

Kirby also is light as a feather, and so can float and fly around at will. While he is noticeably slower when flying, he can still reach the upper atmosphere within ten seconds. Being an honorary Star Warrior, he has the Star Warrior sense, which lets him know when he's being attacked and where it's coming from at all times in addition to providing him natural insight as to when his opponents are vulnerable or when he should get the heck away. Oh, and it gives him a natural ability to pilot any vehicle in the universe. Think of it as an improved Spider Sense. It even works while he's asleep or knocked out - though it is able to be outmatched by other Star Power-based fighters, like King Dedede and Meta Knight. The Guard technique somehow reduces all damage he takes by half, he can resist curses to some extent, and is a gifted chef and engineer. Also, he may or may not have the ability to clone himself. It's never been stated, but multiple copies of him have popped out of his body more than once before and we still have no idea where Blue Kirby came from, so it's a definite possibility. We'll just ignore it for now. And, in addition to all this, since he's literally made up of Star Power, Kirby's power level is, theoretically, infinite. Kirby has never officially lost a fight no matter how he struggles (except a few fights to King Dedede he purposefully threw), though this does mean his power level fluctuates pretty often. Sometimes he'll struggle the same against a monster who can destroy a planet as he will against an omnipotent deity who can destroy a universe, but, in the end, he's always won. Also, as an added bonus, Kirby has an infinite supply of Star Power, which means that none of these abilities ever runs out of uses. Now, shall we talk about Kirby's most famous ability?

Kirby can inhale with a powerful vacuum strong enough to suck up anything from a plate of food to an acre of forest to entire armies of monsters and move mountain-sized creatures (including the likes of Blocky and a mountain-sized stone statue of King Dedede). He can even suck up metaphysical material, such as light, sound, and…ghosts. Kirby, will then will "eat" any foes this vacuum sucks into his mouth, with it magically stretching in order to be large enough to consume whatever he's sucked up. When he swallows a foe, they enter an endless dimension of reality created by Nightmare and are stripped of their physical bodies, with their souls being trapped into becoming a "copy essence"; a representation of their powers. Kirby can do four things at this moment: he can spit them out, restoring their bodies, minds, and powers completely, he can use their souls to form powerful bursts of star-shaped energy he can spit at his opponents, he can recreate the body of the individual but rewire their mind into serving him, or, what he most often does, absorb that copy essence for himself, granting similar, if not greater, powers to his own being. This is called a "Copy Ability," and Kirby can store many of them inside himself and access them at any time. Having defeated an absurd amount of powerful monsters, he has plenty to pick from. Because some abilities are straight-up better than others, and because this analysis is already going to be longer than any of my other ones thus far, we'll only list about twenty-five of them, but he has plenty more in his utility belt.

With the Fire ability Kirby can spew fire, control fire, surround himself with fire, and even turn into an indestructible flaming ball of death. The temperature of this fire varies, but it has easily melted through steel before, and was once stated to be hotter than the sun, though he has yet to back this up. Oh, and he's completely immune to all fire and manners of heat. When spewing flames, he can put the pressure on so much that even a flame-resistant octopus demon the size of a castle was pushed into the atmosphere in seconds. On the flipside, there's the Ice ability, which lets Kirby spew frost breath that can freeze a steel-melting furnace solid in less than two seconds while it's still on. When he puts the breath on long enough, as in over five seconds, it literally transforms whatever it has touched into ice. Besides that, he can coat himself in a giant block of unbreakable ice and even freeze things inside his stomach dimension and spit them out as projectiles. But Fire and Ice aren't the only elements at Kirby's disposal. With the Water ability Kirby can create huge waves for him to surf on, spit water with a high enough PSI to blow up steel (yes, seriously, it explodes) and create deadly…rainbows. No joke; the rainbows that are made by his water actually have physical presence and pretty much kill whatever they touch. The Spark ability has Kirby creating and manipulating all forms of electricity and plasma, whether it be tossing around lightning bolts or creating a protective plasma forcefield around him. With the Tornado ability, Kirby can create and toss around miniature tornadoes or spin around and create one that's capable of parting an ocean the size of a planet. Like Moses, but on steroids. And, finally, the Stone ability transforms Kirby into an invincible statue so heavy, even black holes have a hard time moving him.

Finally for the element-based ones, anyway! 'Cause Kirby's got a slew more. The Needle ability lets him create and throw incredibly sharp needles that can grow to the size of a tree. He can also curl up in a spiky little ball and zoom around the place, like a way more destructive Sonic. With Bomb, he can make bombs that range from "oh, here's a tiny little explosion that can still destroy a building-sized monster that shrugs off cannonballs" to "AHAHA WATCH THE CITY-SIZED EXPLOSION INCINERATE EVERYTHING." With Wing, he gets…wings, with which he can fly around effortlessly at speeds comparable to Meta Knight, who can fly between planets in seconds, shoot regrowing laser feathers, and perform a devastating dive-bomb attack that greatly injured Crowmon, who shook off Dyna Blade's wind attack effortlessly, which destroyed buildings and leveled forests hundreds of miles away. He possesses foes with the Ghost ability, gets infinite deadly boomerangs, sharp enough to easily slice a gold/titanium car in half, with Cutter, and the Leaf ability lets him…shoot leaves. Well, that and create giant plant stalks that can break barriers set up by gods and hide inside an intangible pile of leaves.

We're only halfway through. See, the reason all these projectiles, whether they be arrows, spikes, or leaves, are so strong is because they're made entirely of Star Power, much like Kirby himself - a benefit of having an infinite supply of the stuff. So Kirby throwing leaves at enemies is actually Kirby throwing leaves that are created by one of the most powerful forces in the universe at enemies, hence why they can harm even deities. And the same goes for his weapon-based abilities, making these weapons way stronger than they look. The Whip ability gives Kirby a whip that phases through solid objects (if he wishes), can grab his foes, and even be lashed fast enough get Kirby hovering in the air. With Hammer, he gains a large hammer that can harness electricity, light itself on fire, and charge up more powerful strikes. It's matched the Dedede Hammer blow for blow, and we all remember how overpowered that thing is, right? Yo-Yo is even more deadly - think if the hammer was on the end of the whip. Parasol gives him a parasol that can block even the deadliest of blows, slows his descent, and will literally drill into his enemies by spinning. Beam Kirby has a wand that shoots out all kinds of beams. Laser beams, suction beams, beams that manipulate gravity, beams that slow down time, beams that grapple, and beams that destroy everything in their path. But his favorite ability of these has to be Sword. Kirby's sword can harness electricity, create energy fields, and even launch sword beams, which are massive beams of energy that create miniature Grand Canyons and one-shot anything without mercy - except light-based attacks and other sword beams. However, even without these bonuses, Kirby's a master swordsman, beating Meta Knight's swordsmanship virtually every time (and that guy has literally fought millions of monsters with a sword for thousands of years) and besting Nightmare's own pick for the best swordsman in the galaxy less than a day after first picking up a blade.

As if that weren't enough, with the Ninja ability, Kirby already has a sword, but can also teleport, turn invisible, create smoke, use dark magic, climb walls and ceilings, and throw infinite amounts of throwing stars. Doctor Kirby throws surprisingly powerful pills and creates several kinds of Potions. Fire Potions, Freezing Potions, Exploding Potions, Plasma Potions, Sleeping Potions, and Healing Potions are all readily available. Mirror Kirby can shoot energy beams, has an energy sword, can create a force field that reflects and rebounds all attacks, and can make "reflections" of himself, which act the same as the real Kirby and can recombine with him to increase his power. And Fighter Kirby can harness and manipulate chi to increase his speed and durability as well as perform a variety of devastating attacks, like the Smash Punch, which creates a ball of chi that breaks off the tops of mountains, the Down Kick, which causes foes to explode, and the Rising Break, which brings his foes up into the air with him while they're continually hit by a stream of chi. Most foes, even Masher, Nightmare's most powerful monster, don't stand a chance against that last one. But the most powerful are yet to come. The Hypernova ability increases Kirby's inhale ability to insane levels, literally letting him inhale with the force of a black hole. The Microphone ability can only be used three times before burning out, but turns Kirby's normal noises into soundwaves that destroy everything in their path. The first time this was used, Kirby only sang for a few seconds, and it killed several of Nightmare's most powerful monsters. A recording of the event nearly did the same to an entire stadium of people! Finally, there's the Crash ability, a one-use ability that, at full strength, creates an explosion as powerful as a Supernova, which explodes with a force of 10^44 Joules of energy, or about 24 OCTILLION MEGATONS. That's 27 zeros, in case you were wondering.

But that's not all. Kirby has grown so accustomed to these abilities that he's learned to combine them to form even better ones. There are a ton of these, but let's just talk about a couple. Fire and Sword make a burning sword that never goes out, Spark and Bomb turn him into an exploding light bulb that electrocutes whatever it touches, Needle and Stone gives him infinite giant drills he can throw around, and, best of all, Cutter and Spark gives Kirby a Darth Maul-style double-bladed lightsaber. Effective? Not especially, but, like the Tankbot, it's so awesome that effectiveness is probably the last thing on Kirby's mind. But none of this even touches the Super Abilities, incredibly powerful versions of normal abilities based on a time limit, like Monster Flame, where Kirby summons giant fire dragons to turn his foes to dust, Grand Hammer, where Kirby's hammer gets a massive upgrade in size and power, and, of course, the Ultra Sword. A giant blade that can grow to any length, the Ultra Sword just destroy, destroys, and destroys some more. According to Masahiro Sakurai, the creator of Kirby, the Ultra Sword is a power of pure destruction and is literally "capable of slicing through anything."

However, the copy abilities do have a big problem. They…don't last. After taking a powerful blow, Kirby will lose his current ability and must absorb it again to regain it. And while he can switch from one ability to another, he cannot switch back to any previous abilities without absorbing another Copy Essence. Plus, while the weapons, items, and projectiles are tough, they aren't invincible - for example, the legendary monster Kirisakin, after dueling with Sword Kirby for some time, was able to snap Kirby's sword in half (though Kirby one-shotted him shortly after). Plus, all of it is magically made, so beings with resistance to magic have a natural bonus in defending against them. Not a guaranteed defense (they have damaged nigh-omnipotent magicians with plenty of wards, after all), but it's certainly something to be considered. Also, Magolor, a being of infinite power, was able to casually rid Kirby of his abilities without touching him by…well, rewriting reality. But if that's what it takes the completely stop these abilities, you can't complain about them all that much.

But even if you could, Kirby's best weapons and items aren't found through copy abilities. There are plenty of power-ups and weapons he's used over the years, like the Cracker, a lightweight portable cannon that shoots explosive rounds, the Plasma Bar, which shoots out a plasma beam wherever it's aimed, Balloon Bombs, which blow up buildings, Dynamite, which blows up everything, and the Stomper Boot, a supposedly impenetrable shoe that Kirby can ride around in and crush everything in his way with. An Invincibility Candy makes him temporarily invincible, Mint Leaves double his flight speed, and the Dash Shoe straight-out triples his general speed and agility. An invisibility stone makes him temporarily invisible, the Maxim Tomato completely heals his wounds, and the Prism Shield blocks and incinerates projectiles. Far more powerful than any of that, however, is the Star Rod. Kirby has wielded many legendary weapons before, including one that weaponized love, one that weaponized color, and one that weaponized goodness, but they all bow before the Star Rod, a rod that…shoots stars. Stars that destroy everything in their way and a quarter of the moon - on accident! Kirby can even charge up a blast that one-shotted Nightmare. It's this weapon Kirby used to defeat him three times over. But, believe it or not, it's still not Kirby's most powerful item. That would be the Warp Star.

The Warp Star is…actually what Nightmare turned the original Star Rod into, and was made to be the perfect companion to Kirby. Though Kirby transformed the original Warp Star back into the Star Rod, he's since created many copies of it using his own Star Power. The Warp Star is a star-shaped vehicle Kirby rides on that can grow, shrink, break, reform, and move about on Kirby's will. It's able to render his thoughts so clearly, it sometimes appears sentient. It shoots out concussive blasts of star-shaped energy, and can move insanely fast. I mean, it's crossed entire galaxies in under a minute and went from the edge of the universe to a post-apocalyptic earth (not a theory, it's been stated by Sukarai and confirmed in manuals) and back in a very short period of time - all the while with Kirby riding it and dodging everything in its way. And it comes to Kirby whenever he calls it (literally, he has a cell phone). Whether it's a few feet away, on the other side of the universe, or in an alternate dimension, it always finds its way back to Kirby within a few seconds. When fighting Dark Mind in the Mirror World, Kirby took chase using the Warp Star, and the two flew across entire dimensions in moments while battling. But to be able to fight at those speeds, Kirby would have to be physically ridiculous - which he is.

Kirby's strong enough to shatter the earth-sized planet Popstar with a single punch, fast enough to easily dodge energy beams moving at the speed of light, and tough enough to fight an entire battle with an uber-powerful being inside a black hole without breaking a sweat. Kirby has easily outran King Dedede in races, and Dedede's outpaced Kracko, who moves as fast as lightning - the reverse stroke of which moves at 1/3 the speed of light. He's dodged and blocked lasers, lightning bolts, and energy beams moving at light speed, like, every day, and has easily dodged blows from beings of infinite power - like the aforementioned Magolor. Speaking of which, when Kirby's Ultra Sword clashed with Magolor's impenetrable energy shield, Kirby's strength proved to be greater than his, which should be impossible, but just…wasn't for Kirby. Kirby's toughed out black holes, being thrown into the sun, and an explosion the size of a planet, and each time just bounced back without harm! Heck, the only black holes that have definitely harmed him are ones created by dark magic. The reason for his apparent indestructibility is that he's so malleable. He was crushed several times over by Blocky, who has a lower weight estimation of 500,000 tons (and a higher one of over 5 million tons) until he was thinner than a piece of paper, and was more surprised than anything else, popping back to normal after only a couple seconds. He took a blast from the Halberd's energy cannon straight to the face and wasn't even fazed. Why is this impressive? Well, the cannon previously one-shotted a Destroya (basically a giant ship of evil), incinerating it instantly. The only other attack that did this to a Destroya (even their own beams couldn't really hurt them) was a full-powered blast from Crash Kirby - which, as, we've stated, has the force of a Supernova. So it's not unreasonable to say the Halberd's cannon has the same force (plus it's literally said to take the energy of an exploding star, and has one-shotted absolutely everything except Kirby, so…). Even more impressive is when Kirby was caught in a continuous beam from the cannon, where he was being hit with that much force for nearly three full seconds, which is a lot more impressive than it sounds, considering the Destroya-destroying blast only hit the ship for 0.16 seconds. He's even taken hits from super weapons designed to erase him from the physical plane!

He threw Popon, a giant monster who weighed at least 3.5 tons, to the sun and back in only twenty seconds. Now, normally, this feat would be totally calculable, but Popstar's sun…isn't normal. He's a tiny thing only somewhat bigger than the 8-inch Kirby who lives on Dreamland normally, and is definitely not what we see here, or what is clearly providing heat to the star's residents in other episodes. ScrewAttack decided to just calculate the force to took to get the monster to pass escape velocity, but let's take this a couple steps further. After looking at every configuration of Popstar's solar system that we know of, the only choice close enough to Popstar to provide heat but hot enough to act as their sun would be the planet Hotbeat, which is significantly bigger than Popstar and, from the outside, looks like a giant ball of fire - exactly what we see at this moment in the anime. So we use an estimation based around these planet's distances from each other compared to the average distance between planets around our own solar system and four others we know about, and comparing that to the distance between the planets in this game shows us that, by approximation, 168,900,000 miles would be the distance from Popstar from Hotbeat, which isn't too bad of an estimate. According to scientists' estimates, a planet could reach out 155,243,200 miles from the sun and easily be habitable, assuming it had a proper, earth-like atmosphere. This is slightly farther than that, but, if you'll notice, Popstar has several different regions that all seem to have the same weather constantly, including ones where it's always snowing, ones where it's always a desert, and even ones where it's always noon. This could easily be an effect of the planet's position from Hotbeat. Plus, the residents of Popstar aren't exactly human, and have easily handled far worse conditions than a normal human would before. This means that Kirby threw over 3.5 tons at about 60,804,000,000 MPH.

So, what's more impressive than that? Well, one time, a moon-sized meteor made of molten lava and rock was speeding towards Popstar, and everyone thought they were going to die. One of Popstar's residents, Tiff, thought of a way to move the meteor out of the way by using Castle Dedede's cannons. If they all fired and hit the meteor at several precise angles, it could, theoretically, reverse the meteor's momentum and send it away from Popstar. Key word: theoretically. They tried this, but apparently everyone forgot that a moon-sized celestial body has its own gravity field. Needless to say, the cannonballs got caught up in that gravity field and did absolutely nothing. So, what did Kirby do? He jumped up, sucked up those cannonballs, and spat them all out in one heap at the meteor. The resulting impact forced the meteor to stop and completely change direction, heading the opposite way over four thousand times faster than it was originally going. And remember that Tiff's plan was to spread out the cannonballs in order to strike certain weak points of the meteor, while Kirby just spat them all at once at a random place. And, since Star Power is equal everywhere in his body, it's totally feasible that he could have done the same thing by just punching the thing. And if you're still not impressed, later on Kirby just picked up a monster and straight-up threw him out of the galaxy.

With all that power, you'd think Kirby would never lose, ever. And…you'd be right. Kirby's been matched up against foes that theoretically should have made mincemeat out of him, but then he just wrecks them completely. This guy has defeated the incarnation of all evil twice, the personification of fear three times, and even his universe's version of Satan. He one-shotted Kirisakin, King Dedede, an alternate him from the Mirror World, and even Wolfwrath, a monster who could defeat an entire army of Star Warriors like Meta Knight. Oh, and he beats Meta Knight and King Dedede, like, every other day, and defeated Meta Knight's way more powerful counterpart, Dark Meta Knight, with ease. But he's not just strong; he's surprisingly skilled. Nightmare created five martial art-based monsters that were supposed to be the best there ever was at each's specific martial art. They were masters of Kung Fu, Boxing, Karate, Tai-Chi, and Sumo. And Kirby beat every one of them using only moves from their specific martial art - in a row! But these certainly weren't Kirby's most powerful foes. After the villain Marx wished on the magical wish-granting ship Nova to be strong enough to take over Popstar (and therefore be strong enough to kill Kirby), Kirby still beat him. And then Marx combined souls with Nova, giving him that kind of infinite power, and Kirby still won! After defeating Magolor, who was given infinite power by the Master Crown, the Crown was reborn as Magolor Soul, a physical manifestation of omnipotence. And again, Kirby won. The result of the battle ended up annihilating the entire dimension, but Kirby was still fine. And remember Galacta Knight, the guy all the gods spent their powers on containing, allowing Nightmare to steal the Star Rod and turn it into the Warp Star? Well, turns out he's Kirby from an alternate universe where Nightmare successfully made him evil, only for him to destroy his universe, and head into this one. After he was released from containment, Kirby defeated him. Three times. He defeated an entire alien invading force by himself when one of their simplest attacks could one-shot both King Dedede and Meta Knight, and has defeated a ton of powerful sorcerers, even while under their spells! This includes Yin-Yarn, who turned Kirby into yarn, Drawcia, who turned Kirby into a living bouncy ball, and Necrodius, who turned Kirby into ten copies of him without any powers. Kirby is clearly one of the most powerful beings…just ever.

But powerful doesn't mean perfect, and even though Kirby's never officially lost a fight he didn't purposefully throw (like he has to King Dedede), he's come pretty close. He's overly emotional, incredibly naïve, and will pretty much trust anything anyone says without question. Also, he's always hungry; he can literally eat a castle stuffed with food and still want more. Plus there's how light he is; even if it doesn't hurt him, a powerful blow would certainly send Kirby flying. But likely his greatest weakness is his stamina. See, just because Kirby has an unlimited supply of Star Power doesn't mean he has unlimited access to it. Don't get me wrong; normally, someone using Star Power runs out very quickly when transforming or attacking with it, but Kirby can do that kind of thing all day. However, doing way more complex things, like creating a new Warp Star, takes a chunk of his available supply, and taking powerful blows drains it quickly. His durability only seems to last as long as his Star Power does. Remember that whole taking the Halberd Cannon for three seconds thing? He did that when he was younger, and could do it twice before his Star Power was about gone. After running out, he will fall asleep in order to recover it. This has been exploited by foes in the past in order to try to beat Kirby; like the time Knuckle Joe, the self-proclaimed greatest monster hunter in the universe, became the official Monster Manager for Nightmare Enterprises. His solution to defeating Kirby was to tire him out by having him defeat hundreds of small monsters before sending their biggest one, Masher, at him. Kirby survived, but he pretty nearly didn't. That being said, it is worth mentioning that while it normally takes a Star Warrior hours to recover spent Star Power, Kirby will recover his within seconds.

But for as much as he eats, it's because of him Dreamland is there to grow food. For all that he foolishly trusts, it's due to his protection that everyone trusts they will live through the night. And for as quickly as his powers can drain, he manages to give it all and more before letting anyone else be hurt. When the worst forces of darkness come to snuff out the brightest star in the sky, Kirby will always be there, protecting it.

Kirby might just be the cutest and deadliest Nintendo hero of all time.

Kirby's Ultra Sword breaks through Magolor's energy shield and cuts its way right through Magolor himself. Time seems to stop. Wasting no opportunity, Kirby slices upwards again as the sword changes form. It changes again for a slash downward, and another time for another slash. Kirby raises it above his head in the sword's original form as it grows. When it grows to three times its original size, he makes one final slice down. The sword shrinks, and Kirby waves it in finesse before lowering it.

Time begins again, and the omnipotent Magolor screams in agony as he is torn to shreds, dissolving until there is nothing left.

Kirby:

Name: Kirby of the Stars

Species: Puffball

Age: 30-50, maybe more

Height: 8 in. / 20 cm.

Weight: 6 oz. / 170 grams

Occupation: Star Warrior, Royal Chef, Technician

Built starships

Can mimic voices

Favorite Food: Tie between Watermelon and Tomatoes

Items/Weapons:

Cracker

Mint Leaf

Invincibilty Candy

Invisibilty Stone

Plasma Bar

Balloon Bombs

Dynamite

Stomper Boot

Dash Shoe

Maxim Tomato

Prism Shield

Cell Phone

Love-Love Stick

Triple Star Cane

Rainbow Sword

Star Rod

Warp Star

Abilities:

Inhale

Superhuman Strength

Superhuman Speed

Superhuman Durability

Healing Factor

Shapeshifting

Flight

Guard

Star Warrior Sense

Copy Abilities:

Sword

Hammer

Yo-Yo

Beam

Parasol

Fire

Ice

Spark

Water

Tornado

Stone

Needle

Bomb

Wing

Doctor

Ghost

Cutter

Leaf

Whip

Ninja

Mirror

Fighter

Microphone

Smash

Hypernova

A LOT MORE, LIKE, THERE'S NO WAY I'M LISTING THEM ALL

- Super Abilities:

Ultra Sword

Snow Bowl

Grand Hammer

Monster Flame

Flare Beam

- Mixed Abilities:

Double-Bladed Laser Sword

The rest aren't important enough to be next to that piece of awesome

Feats:

Defeats an entire army, like, every day

Defeated Queen Sectonia

Has defeated gods and goddesses

Bounced a meteor away with a few cannonballs

Survived several black holes

Escaped from the pull of a black hole

Was hit by a full blast of anti-matter and lived

Fought a battle inside a black hole

Defeated Galacta Knight, the alternate, adult version of himself, thrice

Destroyed both the sun and the moon with relative ease

Survived an energy blast that hit with the force of a supernova

Survived the destruction of a dimension

Tanked a planet-sized explosion

Destroyed infinite power, personified, twice

Destroyed fear, personified, three times

Defeated the Popstar version of Satan

Defeated the incarnation of evil twice

Created a Tornado that parted the entire ocean

Threw a monster out of the Galaxy

Sliced open a volcano with a giant fish

Destroyed the planet-sized Nova

One-Shotted Wolfwrath, who is said to be capable of wiping out a whole army of Star Warriors single-handedly

Weaknesses:

Naive

Impulsive

Childish

Always hungry

Strong magical curses can affect him

Dimwitted

Emotional
Extremely light

Will run out of Star Power eventually and be forced to sleep

…

Superman:

Many years ago, the planet Krypton existed as a powerful force in the universe of technology. Science and Art were its two biggest draws, and life was peaceful beyond what most citizens in the galaxy had known -aside from an occasional tussle with a neighboring planet. But below the surface, trouble was brewing. Whether it be a result of gravitational destabilization, a degenerating planet core, massive underground earthquakes, or a poison from an alien warlord (seriously, this bit has differed an egregious amount in different canons), the outcome was always the same: total planetary destruction. There was only one man willing to do anything about it: Jor-El, a respected scientist on the high council. When he discovered the problems with the planet, he developed a solution to stabilizing the whole thing, the rest of the council rejected the plan, finding the notion of such a peaceful place being on the verge of destruction laughable. When he came back with an emergency evacuation plan, they straight-up destroyed all his work! You'd think that these guys would listen to the man who invented hovercars and discovered the Phantom Zone, but apparently not. Starting from scratch, Jor-El had just enough time to construct a few rockets capable of leaving the planet in a hurry, but they were too small for a full-grown man to fit in. So he decided to remain on the doomed world and give his son, Kal-El, the chance to escape. After a psychic meeting with Thomas Wayne (you know, Batman's dead dad), he determined the planet Earth as a suitable destination, and, moments before the planet was destroyed, he launched the space pod with his son inside.

And so his infant child left the planet with nothing but a single blanket and a crystal that would later grow into his own personal fortress. Little did the child (and, in many cases, the father) know that entering a system with a yellow star would give him incredible powers and a role to play in the universe greater than anyone could've imagined. But when he crash-landed on earth and was found by Jonathan and Martha Kent, it was pretty obvious that he was a special child. Even more special than a normal child who came from a dying planet that you found in a space pod, anyway, since he had all kind of superpowers. Considering that the family line was already full of government agents and secret superheroes, there wasn't much better of a family for Kal-El to happen to be adopted into. He was given the name Clark Kent, and raised as a normal human, but when he turned to heroism and began stopping lots of world-ending threats, it wasn't long before he first heard his new name: Superman.

And yet Clark didn't initially take to the whole "being an alien" thing very well. With the self-discovery of each of his powers being an accident (like discovering that he could fly by falling off a cliff), he was eventually told he was an alien by his adoptive parents. He rejected the fact completely and accidentally set up mental blocks and barriers that would stop him from reaching his full potential for much of his life. But after setting up the Fortress of Solitude, hearing about his tragic past, and discovering that his baby blanket made a pretty sweet cape, he took to his new life as a superhero with pride, stopping criminals and aliens alike with the same ideals and tone. He was a hero beyond other heroes; he was an ideal. He was the defender of Truth, Justice, and the American Way. Before long he went on to form the Justice League and consistently do what his father couldn't: save his planet. But enough about Jor-El (oh, yeah, that guy totally survived the destruction of Krypton and became evil until his son beat him up), let's talk about Superman!

Being the boy scout he is, Superman is the ultimate idea of a superhero, as available to save a cat from a tree as he is to save the universe. Assisting with this is his super-mind. While his powers allow him to recognize things moving way faster than light as if they were in slow motion and lets his mind process the world around him thousands of times faster than a normal human's, he was naturally born a genius, and, even when he's not using his powers, is easily one of the smartest men on the planet. And while he's able to approach battles from a tactical approach…most of the time, the general way he used his brain to help him in fighting gods and demons is through the study of martial arts. He's studied boxing with Wildcat, pressure points with Batman, and all kinds of hand-to-hand combat techniques with Wonder Woman. These are all pretty impressive, since each figure is considered one of the best in those fields. True, Superman isn't as good at those arts as any of his teachers, but his boxing skills are enough to let him hold his own against Muhammed Ali even without powers, his pressure point manipulation allows him to disable even other kryptonians, and his CQC has let him knock out Deathstroke in combat. He's also studied the kryptonian martial arts Torquasm-Rao and Torquasm-Vo. Unfortunately, these two names are used interchangeably a lot, making it difficult to pinpoint what each one does, but Superman consistently uses them together, and together they give him hypersensitivity to his surroundings, the ability to stave off mental attacks and illusions, and the ability for his body to automatically respond to opponent's attacks without thinking about it. You know Ultra Instinct, that new thing Goku can do that everyone's excited about? Yeah, it's pretty much that. He's capable of using all of these martial arts in turn during combat, even against beings just as powerful as him. And powerful he is, as we've yet to mention his real superpowers. And he has a lot of them.

Before we start, all of Superman's powers come from his exposure to our sun, a yellow star. His kryptonian cells are capable of absorbing the radiation of sunlight without any defined limits, and he uses the stored radiation when using his abilities, though most of them he's so accustomed to using they barely take up any power at all. And, of course, if he's anywhere near a yellow or blue sun, his supply is constantly growing, and the closer he gets to the sun, the more solar energy he absorbs, and the more powerful he becomes - though it should be noted that direct exposure to red sunlight will drain Superman's solar energy over time. He's occasionally spent some time inside the sun in order to come out stupidly powerful - the general rule of thumb is about three times the power per fifteen minutes in the sun. Now, let's get into some superpowers.

True to his name, Superman can do everything a human can do and do it way better. His senses are absolutely ridiculous in level. His super smelling lets him detect the smell of cigar smoke decades after the cigar left the place, his super hearing lets him hear the sound of a signal watch in the vacuum of space twenty-five light years away, and his super vision can casually check in on a top-security prison on the other side of the planet or even see the going-ons of a new colony on Mars just by looking up! He has precise muscle control, which allows him to always be exactly as powerful as he needs to be and not a bit more in order to reserve his supply of sunlight or not kill whoever he's fighting. But they've always have a harder time trying to kill him due to his bio-electric aura. It's this aura that protects him and his suit from things like planets exploding on top of him or being hit with a Supernova. The aura dulls the pain he feels and absorbs the damage for him. This is why being hit so much keeps draining his solar energy; it's put to work keeping up the field. However, magical weapons and attacks bypass the aura completely, though without it he's still durable enough to take hits that can destroy planets.

His X-Ray vision makes him able to see through any material except lead, and even allows him to see the souls of other people and see through invisibility. His microscopic vision is so accurate that he can see the molecules of any individual or object around him and is able to pick out specific humans around the world while relaxing on the moon. He also has super-ventriloquism, which allows his voice to be heard by specific individuals entire continents away. His static electricity has restorative properties, allowing him to repair clothes, buildings and TEARS IN THE FABRIC OF REALITY just by rubbing his hands together! Oh, yeah, and he also has super-healing. Whenever he takes a hit that actually injures him (which is very rare), the sunlight in his cells is directed at the damaged area, regenerating it almost right away. He can heal from being impaled within seconds, even by Wonder Woman's sword, which can cut atoms. He can add the kinetic energy of the area around him to his blows, breathe underwater and in space, and resist the pull of a black hole. His super breath can create enormous hurricanes and blow out a continental fire with ease, and his ice breath freezes everything in its way, including entire lakes and sometimes oceans. Prolonged exposure goes past just freezing his enemies solid and actually turns his foes into ice sculptures of themselves! He can manipulate magnetism, speak any language after only hearing it for a few seconds, and vibrate at speeds fast enough to phase through certain attacks and even turn invisible, though he needs a lot of time to process the vibrational frequencies he needs to be at in order for a blow to pass through him, and he can't land any of his own during this state.

Speaking of vibrational frequencies, there was this one time where it was revealed that every version of Darkseid (Superman's most powerful nemesis) was just a prop of the real omniversal Darkseid. This "true" Darkseid was well beyond anything any of the Justice League had faced and pretty much outclassed everyone (including Superman) by such a huge margin that they were compared to ants trying to defeat a god. However, Superman got his hands on a nigh-all-knowing Mother Box, which, in addition to his super senses, revealed the secret of the universes to him, which was that everything was really pretty much made of vibrations, or, more specifically, light waves and soundwaves. So Superman figured out True Darkseid's vibrational frequency and the counter-frequency and…a single shout was all it took to literally erase this omnipotent being from reality.

But Superman's most powerful superpower is said to be his Heat Vision. His heat vision is ridiculously strong; a simple blast is enough to match one of Darkseid's Omega Beams, which can destroy planets, and cancels out a gun that freezes things to absolute zero. He himself is capable of incinerating entire planets by casting his spread wide enough, or he can amp it up to the level of dissolving an entire army of Doomsday clones; and those guys were wrecking another army filled with planet-movers! But it doesn't have to be big and messy. On the contrary, his heat vision is fully capable of being used microscopically, and, when combined with his X-ray and microscopic vision, can do some crazy things. Like the time he removed Manchester Black's superpowers by cutting out abnormal cells in his body while the two were doing battle, or the time when, while casually glancing at a typewriter, he rewired the whole thing to type out everything backwards! Oh, and his heat vision can fix tears in space-time, because…it just can. At the end of it all is the Super Flare, a last-ditch heat vision-based attack where Superman ejects all of his solar energy into a massive heat-based explosion that lobotomizes EVERYTHING. However, this leaves him without any powers for 24 hours afterward, so it's definitely an all-or-nothing move.

That all being said, my pick for Superman's most powerful ability is his flight. Whether it's due to gravity manipulation, psychic abilities, or a power granted by an imp from the fifth dimension (again, what's the deal with all the different explanations?), he can fly across space effortlessly at ridiculously fast speeds. He's flown all the way from Vega to Earth in less than five minutes, kept up with someone who can circle the super-planet Apokolips thousands of times, and raced, alongside two other versions of him, all the way to the Andromeda galaxy, which is millions of light years away, in less than ten minutes. He's also flown over a hundred light years while dragging a continent-sized spaceship behind him. He can even utilize the Speed Force for a short amount of time - you know, that binding force that gives the Flash his powers? He's used it to utilize the cosmic treadmill, throw the infinite mass punch (which hits with the force of a white dwarf star), and race against the likes of Wally West's Flash, who brought 500,000 people 35 miles away from a nuclear explosion in 0.00001 microseconds. To be clear, Superman isn't as fast as the Flash, but he can certainly catch up to him at times. Superman's flight speed is beyond incredible. He even wears an invisible Legion Flight Ring from the future, which lets him fly even if his powers are taken away (though at significantly reduced speeds). Perhaps best of all, since Superman's cells don't have a limit on how much radiation they absorb, Superman's powers are, theoretically, limitless. He's always as strong as he needs to be.

However, Superman's superpowers do have a big problem. They're completely reliant of the solar energy inside of his cells, and the majority begin to use more than is quickly replenishable. This means that the more Superman uses these powers, the more his energy is drained, and the weaker they become. While some take away virtually nothing (e.g. super senses), his frost breath, super breath, bio-electric aura, and healing factor definitely do. His heat vision, in particular, burns out his solar energy way faster than any other power, especially when amped up. That being said, the key word here is "begins." The difference in power is often so slight that Superman has to use these abilities an enormous amount or take an incredible beating in order to feel the effects, which is something that rarely happens, because…he's just so friggin' powerful!

Though he wasn't always. Superman's mental barriers haunted him for quite some time, as he was constantly feeling like he was on the cusp of a much greater power, but just couldn't reach it. However, after lengthy training from Mongul II, he was able to break down these barriers, reaching his full potential - which he promptly used to beat the crap out of his trainer. And Superman can make quite a mess of things when he feels like it.

Now, I'm about to go into Superman's many, many insane feats, but I'd like to show you a couple I'm throwing out the window first, and why. Some will quote Superman's lifting Specter, who's made of eternity, or lifting a book of infinite pages as proof that his strength is infinite (including ScrewAttack themselves), but both of these are easily explained away. Eternity is a measurement of time, not space. A fair amount of DC characters have moved units of time before (because it's a strange and wonderful place with many strange and wonderful powers), including Superman, and this is the only time I could find where a unit of time was stated to be heavy. The fact that Superman and Wonder Woman could lift it is impressive, but, unfortunately, immeasurable. It could be as light as a piece of paper, or as heavy as a galaxy, but we don't know. And Superman and Captain Marvel never actually lifted that book. They tried to, certainly, but stated it was ridiculously heavy (if their strength was infinite, there'd be no weight factor at all, even from a book of infinity), and then it plopped itself onto the floor and turned to the page they needed. Yes, Ultraman, an evil version of Superman from another earth, did lift that book, and Superman's supposed to be stronger than Ultraman, but that's the thing - if lifting it means Ultraman's strength is infinite, then Superman's can't be above it. Plus, the book's containment field was still up (which was attached to the ship, so that makes no sense) and Ultraman claimed to have read its final chapters. The final chapters…of a book with infinite chapters. So, clearly, whoever wrote this panel wasn't exactly thinking straight, so I vote we ignore the whole mess and move on. Oh, and yes, Superman did break apart Soulfire Darkseid, who's multiversal in power, but Soulfire Darkseid healed immediately and has been broken apart when hit by stray meteors, plus Superman himself admitted during the same sequence, while watching Soulfire Darkseid fight the Source, "Those two are duking it out on a plane of power way out of my class." And Superman did absorb enough radiation to vaporize half a galaxy, but it was exactly that: absorbed. Superman absorbs solar radiation all the time, so he just used his powers to absorb that radiation, too. So for those reasons, these four feats that are popularly misunderstood are not to be counted.

Not that he needs them! He's strong enough to shatter entire planets with a single punch, fast enough to take an evil clone on a trip through the galaxy in less than a minute, and tough enough to take an explosion with the power of fifteen supernovas to the face! He's bench-pressed the weight of the earth for five days straight without access to sunlight, saved an antimatter baby in less than a nanosecond, and ended up being crushed between two giant planets crashing into each other - which then exploded! Now, these planets were way, way, way bigger than earth, so a lot of people have thought this feat was beyond anything else imaginable, but Superman had been altered through use of a boom tube in order be to be scaled to size. But still, that's like two earth-sized planets smashing into you and then exploding in your face. And he was fine! When he fought Doomsday - no, not the first time, no, not the second time…yes, that time, the most recent one. Anyway, at this point, Doomsday was stupidly powerful. His mere presence boiled entire oceans and he broke both of Wonder Woman's arms with a single punch (arms that could destroy small planets, mind you), and then powered up in order to face Superman. So, what did Supes do? He plunged his hands inside Doomsday and just ripped him in half, killing him instantly! Oh, what? That's not crazy enough for you? When he faced up against an alternate version of him (wow, that plotline is way overused), the collision of blows between the two created tears in reality with their raw power! Or what about the time he had a tiny black hole powerful enough to suck up the entire solar system inside a containment field? When the field began to break down, Superman just clenched his fist over the black hole and just…held it. I mean, why should we be surprised? The guy's taken the explosion of the Source Wall, a detonation fifty times bigger than a Supernova's, and, while on his way to Earth, decided to make the trip shorter and passed through a few black holes on the way just because he could.

Superman's destroyed an F5 tornado with a single clap, punched Wonder Woman from the Sun to the Earth (a distance of 93 million miles - with one punch), caught the Reverse Flash, took blows from the Void Hound (which, in a test run, destroyed ten star systems), and helped move the Megaddon, which dwarfs the earth-moon system, from the inside! He's so fast, he had an entire conversation with the Flash in the time it took a drop of coffee to hit their table. If that's not good enough for you, one time, Green Lantern reduced time to the space of a quarter of a nanosecond. The only superheroes who functioned in this timeframe were Green Lantern, because he did it, Deadman, because he's a ghost, and Superman, because…he's just that fast. He flew into and out of the center of a red sun (which, even if it didn't drain him of his powers, is like taking millions of nukes head-on) while fighting Superboy Prime. He defeated three hundred Green Lanterns at once, pushed around another timeline's Krypton (which is bigger than Jupiter), and defeated both Samson and Atlas (who can each supposedly destroy entire planets) in arm wrestling at the same time. In the process, he broke both of their arms and destroyed the island they were resting on. Oh, and he casually damaged the Bizarro World, which rests inside the Underverse, a place that reduces normal planets to atoms.

He's single-handedly stopped an entire invading force from Apokolips several times, destroyed an entire army of parademons with a wave of heat vision, and was thrown into Earth with enough power to cause a nuclear holocaust, and casually shook it off. I mean, he's shaken off the explosions of planets he's on or next to several times, so why not, I guess. He's able to kill Green Arrow, Lex Luthor, the Joker, Black Canary, and even freaking Captain Marvel and Hercules, both beings supposed to be around his strength who are powered by magic, one of his main weaknesses. And, to top it all off, when Valhalla was invaded by demons, Superman, alongside Wonder Woman and Thor (no, not that Thor), went there to fight them off. Except there wasn't a sun there, so Superman…didn't have powers. He fought for almost a hundred straight years without them until Thor died and passed his mantle, weapon and powers on to Superman, who then went on to defeat all the demons over the course of A THOUSAND YEARS. And in that entire time, even when he was without powers, he still somehow managed to survive and win against the demons without killing a single one. Because…honestly, that's kind of what Superman's about. Even foes made up of pure evil still receive his mercy.

Unfortunately, that fact and some others are what ensures he hasn't had a perfect winning streak. For all his time fighting and winning against galaxy or universe-level or even omnipotent beings, he's still not the world's best fighter or tactician. Usually, when some martial artist is brought up to his physical level or he's brought down to theirs, he loses. When he was drained of his powers via a red sun and tasked with fighting Muhammed Ali, he put up a decent fight, but ultimately lost, despite his human self without powers still being physically superior to Ali. Similarly, when Alfred took a pill that made him as strong as Superman temporarily, they duked it out and Superman was completely wrecked. I've already mentioned that magic bypasses Superman's bio-electric aura, but he also has a huge weakness to radiation. See, his cells don't just absorb solar radiation rapidly, but all radiation, and most of it is pretty darn harmful. This is why a nuke will often hurt him more than a continent-sized explosion, or why kryptonite, radioactive pieces of Krypton's remains, is so deadly to him. And deadly is the right word; just being somewhat near Kryptonite will weaken him greatly, and prolonged exposure will, eventually, kill him. And keeping him out of the sun for too long and continually draining his supply of solar energy is pretty much the way everyone who's beaten him has done so, especially Doomsday, who wrecked him up so bad he was in a healing coma for the next several years. And, despite everything, he gets enraged…surprisingly easily, and will lose all form of tactics when angry.

But in the end, he's beaten the world's best martial artists in combat. He's lifted an entire island made of kryptonite and launched it into space. He rematched against Doomsday and obliterated him. And his anger has, on occasion, made him even more powerful. Any weaknesses he has, Superman has and will overcome. Any fighter he faces, he will rise to their level and beyond. And all the while, we can trust him to do the right thing. Because that's what makes him Superman.

Superman may just be the most powerful superhero in comic book history.

A man looks over the edge of the roof of the Daily Bugle, grimly determined. He readies to jump right before Superman flies up and appears in front of him.

"Mr. Ackerdson?" Superman asks. "May I call you Henry?"

"Call me whatever you want," Henry replies. "It doesn't matter. Nothing does."

"I'm going to have to disagree with you, sir. Everything matters. Everybody matters." Superman begins flying toward him.

Henry whips out a gun and puts it to his temple. "Don't come any closer! I'll do it!"

Superman halts. "I'm staying right here."

"You don't understand," Henry declares. "I've been a newspaperman for forty years. I started as a copyboy when I was sixteen. Always thought I'd be doing it 'til the day I died." He smirks. "Guess I got that part right."

"There are other jobs."

"Newspapers are dying," Henry continues. "I spent my life fighting for the little guy; fighting for truth and justice. It isn't relevant anymore."

"That's what some people say. But I've fought for the same things, even when they don't seem fashionable. It's a never-ending battle, but we can't quit."

Henry bows his head sadly. "I'm not the man you think I am. I'm too weak to fight anymore."

Superman looks at him with compassion. "You're stronger than you know, Mr. Ackerdson."

There's a moment of silence, then Henry sighs, smiles, and lowers the gun.

Superman:

Name: Clark Joseph Kent

Species: Kryptonian

Age: 1000+

Height:

Weight:

Occupation: Leader of Justice League, Reporter

Applied for the U.S. Military, but failed his entrance exam

Has met alternate versions of him at least 29 separate times

Best Friend: Tie between Batman and Wonder Woman

Abilities/Items:

Superhuman Smell

Superhuman Sight

Superhuman Hearing

Superhuman Strength

Superhuman Speed

Superhuman Durability

Superhuman Ventriloquism

Superhuman Mind

Superhuman Voice

Restorative Static Electricity

Precise Muscle Control

Minor Kinetic Energy Manipulation

Super Breath

Freeze Breath

X-Ray Vision

Microscopic & Macroscopic Vision

Heat Vision

Healing Factor

Bio-Electric Aura

Magnetism Manipulation

Omniversal Translation

Vibration

Flight

Legion Flight Ring

- Martial Arts:

Boxing

CQC

Pressure Points

Torquasm-Rao

Torquasm-Vo

Feats:

Tanks planet explosions all the time

Took a blast worth 15 Supernovas to the face

Took a blast worth 50 Supernovas while weakened

One-shotted Doomsday

Defeated Deathstroke

Sang True Darkseid to death

Took collision of two super-planets, and explosion of them immediately following

Destroyed F5 Tornado with one clap

Punched Woman Woman 93 million miles away

Took blasts from the Void Hound

Incinerated army of parademons

Incinerated army of Doomsdays

Fought demons for 1000 years

Killed 300 Green Lanterns w/ Yellow Lantern ring

Defeated Samson and Atlas in an arm wrestle

Held a black hole

Moved the Megaddon

Reacts in a quarter of a nanosecond

Killed Lex Luthor, Hercules, Captain Marvel & more

One-shotted Darkseid

Rammed through the core of a red star

Lost his powers for a year on a barren earth, still killed monsters and made a life for himself

Defeated many Kryptonians in combat

Lifted Specter

Saved the universe dozens of times

Did so much other crazy stuff that this list could go on for several pages

Weaknesses:

Angers easily

Isn't the best martial artist ever

Completely reliant on solar energy

Magic ignores bio-electric aura

Harmful Radiation

Kryptonite

Isn't infinitely powerful

Has lost fights before

One-shotted by He-Man

…

All right, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all! It's time for a Death Battle!

…

Superman wiped a drop of sweat off his brow as he sealed another breach in reality with his heat vision. "These things are starting to get kind of annoying," he complained to Batman.

A voice came into his ear. "Get a suntan when you're done. They have to be sealed."

"Have you heard back from Red Tornado yet?"

"No, but the dimensional tears are slowly stabilizing. Looks like he did his job. There should only be a couple more after this."

"Well, let's hope they're in the neighborhood. I'm getting awfully tired of flying to other galaxies tod-"

Before he'd even finished speaking, a new breach suddenly opened up next to him and out popped a circular pink creature with two wings in full white armor.

"Yes!" the newcomer exclaimed. "At last, I am free once more! All your worlds shall bow to the might of Galacta Knight!" He paused, then looked at Superman. "Huh. You don't look like anyone I've encountered before. What universe is this, exactly?"

Superman crossed his arms, reading the creature's soul. Strangely, it seemed to have a soul of goodness, but had somehow twisted it for evil purposes. "Not one willing to let someone like you try to take it."

Galacta Knight huffed. "Well, that nice slice of reality over there seems to lead into my intended universe. I guess I'll destroy that one, and then come back for this one!" He glanced at a nearby planet. "Hmm. How many people do you think live there?"

"What?" Superman was taken by surprise. "Er, eight or nine billion, I sup-"

Galacta Knight sliced the air in front of him, sending a sword beam at the planet which carved it in half instantly. "Consider that a taste of your future. Goodbye!" and before Superman had even gotten over what had just happened, he was gone - flown into another breach.

Superman turned towards the breach, his breath drawn out in anger. Batman's voice appeared in his ear. "Superman, come in. What just happened?"

"Exactly what you think just happened," Superman replied shortly. "I'm going after him."

"He's of no concern to us. We have to focus on closing these breaches so he can't return."

"He's of concern to that universe, and that universe is of concern to me. I'll stop him before he can take any more lives." And with that, Superman zoomed towards the rapidly-closing breach, ignoring Batman's warnings, and went from his universe to a brand-new one.

Meanwhile, on Popstar, Kirby was happily chowing down on a delicious watermelon outside of Castle Dedede. He was somewhat reflecting on the fight King Dedede and Bowser had the day before - if one-millionth of your brain thinking about it counted as "somewhat," when out of the sky, an old foe appeared.

"Hello, my younger self," Galacta Knight declared mockingly. "Care to tangle with fate agai-WHAT? NO! STOP!"

A few seconds later, Kirby was rubbing a very full stomach, no longer having an enemy in the world. This occasion lasted for a full ten seconds (this time) before a man in a blue suit with a red "S" on its chest appeared out of nowhere, just like Galacta Knight had. Kirby jumped up and looked at him curiously. He'd never eaten one of those before.

Superman came to a halt and faced Kirby, eyes reading his soul. There was no mistaking it; armor or not, this was the same being who was planning on destroying this universe. He breathed in the sunlight; it was very strong here. This planet seemed to have a magical effect that emanated it, which meant this fellow was in for a nasty surprise.

"So," Superman declared, "you want someone to bow to you?"

Kirby jumped excitedly, not quite understanding what he meant, but knew it probably had to do with food and had the words "you want" in it.

Superman suddenly appeared behind Kirby and delivered a full-powered punch that sent him flying into outer space. He followed the flying Kirby as he spun all the way towards the moon before calmly landed on the surface of the celestial body. "Bow to that."

Realizing that this new monster definitely didn't want to give him food, Kirby brought out his cell phone and pushed the one big button on it. As he passed the moon, the Warp Star rushed in and caught him. Not hesitating for a second, he raced toward Superman on the moon's surface, readying an arm to make a fatal punch.

Superman narrowed his eyes and flew upwards slightly. "Prepare to pay for every life you've taken." He readied a punch, intending to end this conflict instantly.

-FIGHT!-

Kirby and Superman's blows connected.

And the moon shattered.

Superman pulled back, surprised as moon chunks flew past him. This pink blob packed quite a punch. Well, to be fair, it had destroyed a planet with a swipe from its sword - which, strangely enough, seemed to have vanished alongside its armor. No time to dwell on that, though.

Superman launched another punch, aimed at Kirby's side, but he met it with equal force and jumped towards Superman, throwing his other arm down to hit him over the head. Superman raised his arms and blocked the blow, then shot out a quick stream of heat vision to force Kirby to back off. Kirby was hit and bounced back, looking mildly surprised. He landed on the Warp Star again and raced in a circle to the other side of Superman, fast enough to catch him off-guard, and hit his back with a kick that sent Superman forward several meters. Superman twisted around, shooting heat vision as he did so. Kirby hopped over the line of heat vision easily and zoomed forward. Superman and his both threw out punches, and they matched once more. The two threw several further ones, each easily blocking the other's barrage of blows before Superman caught Kirby's arm and pulled him towards him. As Kirby's body left the Warp Star, Superman hit him with a knee upwards and Kirby went flying with a baby-like cry.

The Warp Star rushed to Kirby's aid, but he'd already retained control over his momentum. He transformed suddenly, granting himself the Needle ability, complete with spike-filled hat. Kirby threw down two sharp needles toward Superman, who instantly vaporized them with heat vision and flew upwards to punch Kirby again. Kirby flipped the Warp Star upside down, right before Superman connected his punch, causing him to impale his hand on several of the needles on Kirby's hat. Superman gave a cry of pain and tore his hand away.

Superman looked at his bleeding hand, shocked. "That…was magic." He let out another quick cry when a massive spike impaled itself through his shoulder. He tore it out and immediately threw it right back at Kirby, who opened up his mouth large enough for the large needle to enter. The moment it had gone through, Kirby closed his mouth and then spat out a star at Superman. Superman backhanded it away, and grimaced from the pain. He lifted his hand in order to get a better look at it. The wounds had already healed, and his shoulder was healing quite quickly, so why had tossing away that star-shaped thing hurt?

Oh, no.

Kirby rolled up into a spiky ball and launched off the Warp Star at Superman, who barely dodged in time. He paused as he realized why this…marshmallow was powerful enough to match him and why things weren't bouncing off of his aura like normal. The needles weren't magic. This entire creature was magic.

Kirby gave him more proof instantly by transforming into Bomb Kirby, whereupon he threw dozens of bombs at Superman. The first hit him, exploding and forcing him backwards with a grunt of pain, but he apparently learned quickly, and, with a gust of frost breath, turned every other bomb to ice before they could hit him. Another gust of normal breath and they were sent at Kirby, who ejected his ability in order to inhale with enough power to suck up every bomb sent at him and spit them out, now turned to stars, at Superman. Superman frowned and used his super breath to scatter the lot of them away.

"Nice try, but you lack any long-range capabilities," Superman informed Kirby. "How about you quit now and save yourself the- UGH!"

Kirby had transformed into Hammer Kirby and thrown his hammer at Superman, knocking him far and away. Kirby retrieved his hammer and declared "Hiya!" happily. He didn't need long-range attacks when the Warp Star gave him range wherever he wanted. He spotted Superman, still flying away, and headed for him. He caught up to him quickly, and delivered another blow from the hammer, knocking him further ahead. Again, he surged forward and hit him again, then once more before zooming ahead of his flight, raising the hammer, and charging it up. As Superman hurtled towards him, he let loose a final, powerful blow, smashing Superman miles downward, where he continued to hurtle before crash-landing on an unsuspecting planet. Kirby didn't give him room - he used the Warp Star to follow Superman downward.

Superman breathed heavily after hitting the planet. The attacks had hurt quite a bit, and the last one had even drawn blood, though it was all quickly healing. He couldn't afford to waste more energy recovering from wounds. It was time to stop holding back. He stood up.

Kirby appeared, flying through the atmosphere. He threw the hammer at Superman again, but Supes was ready this time. He flew forward slightly, judged the angle of the spinning hammer, and deftly grabbed it out of the air. He held up the hammer and raced towards a surprised Kirby with it, and delivered a powerful side-swipe, knocking Kirby off the Warp Star and far to the left. The Warp Star immediately gave chase, but so did Superman. As Kirby crashed into the side of a mountain, leaving quite an imprint on it, Superman charged up the hammer and threw it back at him. The hammer hit Kirby and drove him further into the mountainside. The copy ability vanished, his headband and weapon fizzling out of existence.

Superman calmly flew to the mountain, resting just outside of the hole. "Well, have you had your fun? Or perhaps you'd like to destroy this planet, too?"

Kirby popped out holding a hand cannon in his stubby arms. It shot out four cannonballs - which Superman effortlessly dodged before destroying the Cracker with a swipe of his hand. "Well, if you want to play like that…" Superman backed up and charged up a blast from his heat vision. A few seconds later, it released, perfectly carving a massive hole in the mountain that broke all the way through, mashing Kirby through it with a "Wah!" Superman flew right through the hole and landed next to Kirby. "If you-"

Kirby interrupted him by transforming into Ghost Kirby and grabbing his head from behind, trying to possess him. Superman felt his influence, but he'd studied more than long enough to prevent any kind of manipulation. "Attacking my mind, huh?" He threw his head backwards, knocking Kirby off of it, and delivered a quick one-two punch combo followed by him putting his hands together and hitting Kirby upwards with them. He flew up, readying another punch.

But Kirby was getting pretty tired of being a punching bag. As Superman rose up, he transformed into Fighter Kirby and matched his punch with one of his own. He instantly did a leg sweep, catching Superman's neck and knocking him to the side. Kirby took the opportunity to call the Warp Star, which flew straight up and snatched Kirby out of the air. Well, the space. Kirby flew to the reeling Superman and hit him with a smash punch, sending him up, and followed with a devastating rising break. Then he flew above the continually rising Superman, who was now gasping in pain, and began pelting him with a combination of vulcan jabs and stars from the Warp Star, reversing his previous force and sending Superman crashing back down to the planet. To finish it all off, He jumped off the Warp Star and deliver one last punch to Superman's chest - one so powerful, cracks formed in the ground and before he knew it, the entire planet had cracked in two. Superman was driven through the center and exited the bottom of the planet with a scream.

Kirby yawned once. He was going to need a nap soon to recharge; he wasn't used to taking so much punishment. He'd better finish this first, though. He spat out a Stomper Boot and hopped inside of it, then the Warp Star collected him upon mental command. He flew down to where he'd seen the gasping Superman and…nothing? Suddenly an entire half of the planet he'd just broken crashed into him, forcing him down. Kirby instantly hopped out of the boot and hit the half with another punch, smashing it to bits. The Warp Star zoomed him up to where the planet half had come from and-

And Superman grabbed Kirby right off the Warp Star and flew away with him. He reached this place's sun, flew a circle around it, gaining energy as he did so, and then threw Kirby down to the planet's other half. As soon as he'd been thrown, Superman hit him with a full-powered blast of heat vision, driving him down until he hit the half-planet with enough force to crack it in half again. Superman tore downwards towards Kirby - and regretted it when he was struck with something magical at the end of a rope.

Kirby pulled back the yo-yo and mentally called the Warp Star, which picked him up and brought him to Superman instantly. He launched the yo-yo out and up, hitting Superman in the chin, and then stopped his momentum by wrapping him around the string. Kirby pulled Superman toward him, then sent him back out with a punch, then pulled him towards him, then sent him back out with another punch. He repeated this twice before Superman broke the chain by freezing the yo-yo with his ice breath and shattered the whole thing with a flex of the muscles. Kirby transformed into Beam Kirby and grabbed Superman with a grappling beam. Superman cried out once, but got over it quickly and used his heat vision to incinerate Kirby's wand before it could do anything. Kirby was suddenly very unhappy; Beam was one of his favorite abilities, and this monster hadn't even let him use it for five full seconds!

Superman wasn't feeling too badly for Kirby, though. He charged up his heat vision and flew backwards slightly to get a better angle. He charged some more and…released. A stream of heat vision as big as himself headed right for Kirby. And then…back at him? Superman dodged his own blast instantly, and saw Kirby had put up some kind of reflector shield. He was in yet another new form; this one looking surprisingly similar to the last. But, instead of a wand, he had a…uh, oh.

The Warp Star flew into Superman, knocking him back and allowing Mirror Kirby to plunge the energy sword right into Superman's chest. Superman gasped as the magical blade pierced his skin, and used his super breath instantly to blow Kirby backwards and away from him. The Warp Star caught Kirby, and he charged up his sword for something. Less than two seconds later, Kirby released the energy beam, and it struck Superman full-force and enveloped him. The beam lasted for several seconds, and when it was done…Superman was fine.

More than fine. Superman raised his right arm and flexed it. "A beam made of sunlight? You really don't know anything about kryptonians, do you?"

Kirby gave out a questioning look.

"Allow me to show you."

Superman rushed at Kirby. Kirby put up his barrier, but Superman broke it with a single punch. He then hit Kirby with another punch that sent him into the remaining moon of the planet they'd obliterated. Once there, Kirby became Tornado Kirby, twirled around, and centered himself inside a massive tornado, greater than any Earth had ever seen, strong enough to part entire oceans. Superman landed on the moon and, seeing the tornado, clapped once. The shockwave of the clap immediately dissipated the whole thing. Superman grabbed Kirby and blasted him with heat vision even stronger than his previous blast. Kirby cried out as his ability vanished. Kirby didn't give up, though, and transformed into a massive Tankbot. He shot out dozens of missiles at Superman, but the man of steel blew them out of his way with a single breath. Tankbot Kirby charged up his rocket-powered boxing glove and launched a flying punch, but Superman took hold of the glove and crumpled the whole thing easily. Superman kicked tankbot Kirby into the air, froze him into a block of ice, then piledrived him back into the ground, shattered the ice and reverting the object to a very woozy and sleepy Kirby.

Superman rose into the air. "Pathetic. You think you're strong because you sit on a pile of bodies that could never fight back. I don't kill my enemies. I let them grow. Adapt. I let them face me again, if they wish. That means that I have to change and adapt along with them. I don't kill, and it's made me strong." His eyes began burning. "But I think I'll make an exception here." He blasted.

Kirby recovered just in time and spat out a Prism Shield, which reflected the blast back at Superman. The kryptonian cried out in shock and Kirby took the opportunity to eat his emergency food: a Maxim Tomato. Feeling his energy fully restored, Kirby transformed into Ninja Kirby and teleported behind Superman before unleashed a quick-draw with his sword, cutting him across the chest. He then teleported to the top of a nearby dune-like rock and threw out hundreds of sharp kunai at the bleeding alien. Superman turned and incinerated most of them with heat vision, but a few struck his side and pierced his skin. Superman tore them out and let his healing factor do its work.

Ninja Kirby jumped to the ground, turned invisible, slid under Superman, and flew into the air with his blade outstretched. Superman, however, could see him perfectly well, and surprised Kirby by kicking the katana out of his hand. He tried to hit Kirby again, but the puffball teleported to retrieve his katana and then teleported right above the man of steel, bring it down to plunge through his skull.

The only thing that saved Superman was his body's training to react to his environment automatically. He dodged to the right before he even knew what was happening, and flew out of the moon's atmosphere and towards the sun. Kirby, for his part, called upon the Warp Star and followed him. When they were only a few miles from the sun, Superman halted. Not realizing this, Kirby zoomed right past him. Superman blew him forward with his super breath and into the blazing star. Right before he hit it, Kirby transformed into Ice Kirby and blew himself backwards, using his frost breath to counter the heat and gravity of the sun. Superman caught up to him and attempted to use his own ice breath to counter Kirby's. The Kirby turned to him, and the two blew their breath at each other. The ice breath and frost breath collided in mid-air, and the very molecules around them began to turn to ice. The Warp Star caught Kirby, preventing him from hitting the sun, and the two flew around the massive star, constantly matching their ice breath. Slowly, but surely, even the sun turned to ice as the power of the two beings competed with each other. When the entire star had turned into an ice cube thousands of times the size of a planet, Superman stopped, ducked under Kirby's frost breath, flew to the other side of the star, and pushed. Sure enough, the entire icicle fell through space towards an unsuspecting Kirby.

Superman rubbed his hands together. "That should take care of-WHAT?"

The iced star began to warp and distort as it entered a rainbow-colored Kirby's mouth. Hypernova Kirby had entered the picture.

Hypernova Kirby began inhaling. Superman found himself greatly struggling to move - and without a sun, although he could see just fine, he wasn't getting power consistently. He grit his teeth and tried to escape. A planet rushed by and entered Kirby's mouth. Then another. And another. Superman was using up all his solar energy just to not get sucked up, as Kirby gained entire planets in his bid to do away with the kryptonian. Before long, every planet in the solar system was gone, and Kirby had stopped inhaling.

Now Superman had something much worse to worry about.

Hypernova Kirby ejected all the star power he'd gained from the solar system in one continuous beam at Superman. The man of steel was hit full-force by the blast, and screamed in incredible levels of pain as the blast shot him entire galaxies away.

When he recovered, he was badly injured and burned…everywhere. He needed time and a place to recover. Wait, this new solar system had a sun. Cutting through his pain, Superman raced to the sun and plunged inside of it. His wounds began healing, and his power began growing.

But he wasn't in there two minutes when an invincible Kirby found him and punched him out of the star.

Superman grunted, but his power had already resurrected itself. He was going to win this.

Then Kirby plunged out of the star atop his Warp Star, invincibility having worn off. He transformed into Sword Kirby, and pulled out his golden blade and pointed it at Superman.

Superman blinked. "That sword-"

Kirby launched a sword beam, which Superman narrowly dodged. The beam struck a nearby planet and carved it in two.

Superman turned to Kirby, anger fully rekindled. "So, you finally show it, do you? Let's see how it stands up to me!"

Kirby responded by racing towards Superman and stabbing through his stomach.

Superman cried out in shock, but used the opportunity well. He slid forward on the sword and unleashed a full wave of heat vision on the living Q-tip. Kirby bounced away from it, taking his sword with him. The stab was healing right away.

Kirby steadied himself and threw another sword beam at Superman, but he'd apparently expected it. He dodged the beam deftly, along with the next two Kirby threw. He reached Kirby and Kirby utilized his skills to dodge the blows of this powerful alien and land several cuts of his own. The two dodged and attack for some time before Superman managed to grab the blade of the sword. Although it cuts into his hand and hurt horribly, a solid push and twist snapped the sword into two.

Kirby backed up. Since a slicing weapon had worked so well, he'd try another. His favorite. He put his stubby hands together and pulled them apart. Inside them was what looked like and extra-long handle to a sword. But not just any sword. Kirby pressed a button, and both blades of the double-sided lightsaber shot out. Kirby raced towards Superman, who pushed against his arm to knock the first blade off-balance, but Kirby simply plunged forward with the other blade, and it burned its way through his arm. Superman let go a shout and kicked Kirby away, but the Warp Star brought him back instantly. Superman tried to defend, but the weapon had too much range and did too much damage for him to take any risks. If he wanted to compete, he'd need a weapon to match.

Wait…

Superman kicked Kirby away and tore off. He used the position of the stars around him to know where he was going - he'd found his way to this planet by himself many times before.

When he finally reached Earth, he stood still, shocked. The planet was nothing but a wasteland. It was clearly once something great, but had long since fallen into what appeared to be nuclear winter. Superman shook his head. It wasn't his Earth. So long as it had what he needed, everything would be fine.

He whispered "I'm sorry it won't rest peacefully, Diana," and rammed into the atmosphere.

Kirby caught up to him shortly afterward. He'd also traveled this path before, and was mildly curious as to why Superman would come here. Mildly curious. Then he saw Superman flying back up through the atmosphere of Shiver Star, holding…something. Well, whatever it was it was about to be cut in half. He raised his lightsaber, timed the blow, and brought it down.

The plasma blade stopped on the blade of a new sword.

Kirby flew backwards as Superman spoke. "You have your weapon, I have this one. Mine can cut through atoms. I wonder which is stronger?" He raised the silver blade. "Let's find out."

"Poyo!" Kirby cheered. He loved swordfights - mostly because he usually won.

The two flew at each other and clashed weapons. Neither broke through the other. Superman slid his blade under Kirby and stabbed forward, but Kirby simply twirled his to knock it back and then caught the broadside of the blade on the point of his lightsaber's right end. He bounced it off and twirled to cut through Superman's neck, but Superman ducked under the slice and brought his blade to the left, sliding across the lightsaber and heading for Kirby's eye. Kirby quickly shoved upward with his left-most blade, throwing the sword to the side. The two fought similarly for some time, but ultimately Kirby proved the better swordsman, garnering several burns and slices on Superman, with his foe not even landing a single slice. However, with an expertly-timed slash, Superman caught his sword in Kirby's handle, breaking the lightsaber apart. Kirby pulled away instantly, having realized the danger he was in, but Superman was having none of it. He threw the sword, twirling through the air (relatively speaking) at Kirby. If it were to hit him, he'd be carved in half. Kirby, luckily, had a more than adequate defense: he opened his mouth and swallowed the sword whole. Then he gained a huge green cap with stars and wings embedded on it and a sword a dozen times bigger than him that radiated pure destructive force. He had the Ultra Sword.

"Oh, no," Superman groaned. Kirby rammed forward with the blade, but Superman ducked under it. Kirby flew at the sun and quickly slashed through it, cutting the whole thing in half and providing an opportunity to turn around before it exploded. Both Kirby and Superman went flying from the Supernova, though neither seemed particularly hurt. Kirby sliced several times at Superman, who dodged every blow by a hair's breadth. He needed to get rid of that thing, now. The next time Kirby went in for a blow, Superman ducked under and punched the arm holding it, sending the Ultra Sword flying out of Kirby's hands. He then himself picked up the sword and swung it.

The Warp Star ducked Kirby out just in time and pulled him far away from Superman. Superman closed that distance quickly and swung. Kirby flew up and away from the swing, then tore off, full speed, for the other side of the solar system. The moment he reached it, he turned back and headed straight for Superman. The two flew towards each other, and while he was flying, Kirby transformed into Crash Kirby. He built up a supernova-sized blast in the palm of his hand, and, as the two met, unleashed it on the Ultra Sword.

Neither Kirby nor Superman really remembered what happened, only that it hurt.

Kirby woke up seconds later without his Warp Star, in a new solar system, being punched by Superman. Kirby quickly matched his next punch, then used judo to twirl him around and send him flying downwards. He brought out his cell phone and called the Warp Star. The vehicle was in sight within two seconds, but Superman had grown tired of this battle. With a shout of "Enough!" he caught up to the Warp Star, grabbed it, and, lifting it above his head and straining, tore it down the middle.

"There's no escape this time," he declared, and, with one massive punch, sent Kirby down to another planet, this one filled with grass, trees, and wildlife. Superman landed and dropped the broken Warp Star on the ground. "Can you still keep up with me without that thing?"

An idea sparked in Kirby's head. It was possible…

Kirby instantly began inhaling and the Warp Star's remains flew into his mouth. Kirby focused, and, surprising both him and Superman, the Star Rod appeared in his hand.

"One final transformation, is that it?" Superman rolled his eyes. "Fine, if you must."

Kirby threw out several stars at him, but Superman destroyed most with his heat vision and simply batted away the rest. Kirby inhaled deeply. He hadn't realized how much power he'd been taking, constantly transforming and using his powers while still being whaled on at every second. If this didn't work…He threw out four more stars, each powerful enough to destroy a moon. But Superman just slapped them away like pebbles.

"You're done. We both know that you can't win. So," Superman offered, "how about you let go of that wand, I turn you in to whatever authorities there are in this universe, and nobody dies?"

Kirby didn't understand him, and probably wouldn't have listened if he did. They were too far gone in this fight to turn back. Kirby held the Star Rod back and charged it. "Hiya!"

"This is over. Put down the wand."

Kirby charged further.

Superman crossed his arms and held his ground.

Kirby fired the beam. It was massive; easily enough to one-shot the most powerful of deities and destroy entire solar systems.

It came at an unyielding Superman.

It hit him.

And he stood.

Seemingly unaffected, Superman began to walk through the center of the beam, closer and closer to Kirby, who was desperately pouring more and more power into the beam.

Superman reached Kirby, reached out with one hand, and grasped the Star Rod. "Stop it!" He twisted his wrist, and, shocking Kirby, the Star Rod snapped. The stream stopped instantly, revealing an angry Superman directly in front of him. "I said this was over!" Superman grabbed Kirby's whole body with his other hand, and, as desperately as he tried, Kirby couldn't escape his grasp.

Superman closed his eyes and felt Kirby helplessly struggle against him. His heat vision built up inside him. He'd have to do something he'd never done before in order to kill this creature: a localized, direct Solar Flare. Energy built up inside of him; all his solar energy left his other body parts and entered only into his right hand. Superman opened his eyes and his hand began to glow bright red. He looked at the fearful expression on Kirby's face and felt his gut twist. But he'd given this creature many chances. Too many. It was time to finish this.

He whispered "I'm sorry," and the Solar Flare released. Coming entirely from the hand holding Kirby, the energy enveloped him. Superman thought he saw him switch forms one last time, to some form with a hat made of fire, before the blast was released, but it really didn't matter. He'd lost such forms when hit by a lot of power before; and this was far more than the cotton ball could take. The red solar energy was entirely localized around Kirby, and he felt the full force of the energy. The moment it all hit him, he stopped moving.

When the smoke cleared, there he was. A black, smoking version of what was once a mighty foe. Perhaps the mightiest Superman had ever faced. Superman bowed his head once before dropping the body to the ground. He himself dropped to one knee. He was completely powerless; it felt foreign to him. He stood up. It was time to return to his own dimension. This crisis had been averted.

Then he heard a snore.

Superman whipped around, shocked beyond belief. The blackened body of Kirby wasn't dead. It was just asleep.

"No…NO!" Superman cried out. How had he survived? There should be no way to survive something like what he'd done. Well, it didn't matter now. The moment the puffball woke up and realized he had no powers, he was dead. He needed his powers back - and fast. He looked up at the sun. If only he could reach it, go inside it…

He cracked his knuckles. He'd nearly forgotten about the flight ring. It would finally prove to be more than sentimental. He took off into the skies, heading full speed (which wasn't actually that fast, comparatively) towards the star.

Back on the planet. Kirby awoke, energy fully restored. He yawned, stretched, and patted himself on the back for surviving. He looked up at the sky and…there he was, the being that tried to kill him for no reason and ruined his lunch. It was time to finish him.

Kirby concentrated and used a chunk of his Star Power to create a brand-new Warp Star. It hovered in front of him eagerly, and Kirby hopped on, smiling. It took after Superman at blinding speed.

Superman was almost there. He could practically taste the sunlight. His powers had already been restored slightly - at least, enough to hear a yawn from the planet below and a very…familiar sound. He glanced back, eyes widening in horror as he realized Kirby had somehow received a new Warp Star and was catching up alarmingly fast. No. He couldn't lose, not after all this! Superman put all his power he was gaining towards his flight and gave the ring all it could. If he was to survive, he needed to be in that sun.

He came closer, being able to touch the very streams of boiling plasma ejected from the star. Kirby came closer still. He'd have Superman within two seconds.

Superman rammed ahead. Kirby rammed faster.

The two reached the star microseconds away.

And Kirby missed his swipe at Superman by a nanometer.

Superman plunged into the burning star, reaching the center quickly. The radiation was so strong, so fierce, he felt as if he was about to explode. His cells healed and built themselves further. He began recharging. And there was little Kirby could do to stop him.

He charged, and charged, and charged. Then, he turned, while still inside the sun, and used his X-ray vision to see outside of it. There was Kirby, circling the star. He rose his hand and clenched it into a fist. He was stronger than he'd ever been; Kirby stood no chance.

But Kirby had been sleeping. And in his sleep, Kirby found focus and energy.

Moving trillions of times faster than light, Superman ejected himself from the star and punched Kirby off his Warp Star. Another punch and the Warp Star was torn to shreds. Kirby woke up to the pain of being hit by a godly Superman. He crashed into the planet, creating an enormous crater.

Superman didn't stop to think. He rushed forward, and pulled every bit of the solar energy he'd absorbed into his left fist again. He then began rapidly vibrating it, harnessing the Speed Force. One final Solar Flare attack, a hundred times stronger than the previous one, mixed with the Infinite Mass Punch. Nothing in the multiverse could survive this attack.

He flew at Kirby, going full speed. When he was only a few meters away, his fist was brought forward. It launched itself, along with the entirety of Superman, right at Kirby.

And right into his open mouth.

Superman's eyes popped as he realized his fatal mistake, but there was no time to do anything. There was nothing, not even a final "No!" before he disappeared forever.

A blue suit with a red cape and a stylized "K" emblem in the center appeared on Kirby's body. He jumped up and began flying effortlessly, then used heat vision to burn down a nearby tree. A high-spirited "Hiiiii!" indicated he was quite pleased with his newest copy ability.

-KO!-

Woah, woah, woah! Pitchforks down! Wha- is that tar and feathers? No! Stop! Just…let me explain, okay?

This fight was…not an easy one. Both have so many feats that are absolutely incredible, so it's very hard to narrow down where and how that kind of power takes shape. So I figured a little math was a good start. Now, both have done some ridiculous things (like Superman lifting Specter and Kirby breaking an unbreakable shield) that just can't be measured by science, so we're going to say these kinds of feats beyond anything physically possible cancel each other out, and judge who's generally more powerful based on the math I've been able to do.

Strength:

Kirby: Kirby's greatest feat of strength would be when he redirected Gerath, a meteor stated to be the size of a moon on several occasions, away from Popstar with mere cannonballs. This meteor was mostly composed of magma contained through unknown means, alongside some amount of igneous rock. Magma generally weighs 3100 kg/m^3, and normal igneous rock can be lowballed to 2500 kg/m^3, so if the meteor was made of 50/50 magma and rock, and assuming it's about the size of our Earth moon (especially since it caused so many similar meteorological effects when it entered Popstar's atmosphere), this thing weighs in at 67,772,744,885,944,000,512 tons, or about 67.7 sextillion tons. That's not all, though. Now, Gerath was, at one point, about as far away as the sun, and it reaches Popstar in about two days. As we've already explained, their "Sun" is likely Hotbeat, which we've already shown to be approximately 168,900,000 miles away. Comparing Gerath's size, that makes it about 2.6 million miles away. This means that Gerath was traveling at a rate of 54,166.7 miles per hour. When Kirby sent it back, it reached that same spot in only 40 seconds! This puts the end speed at least at 234,000,144 MPH! Running this through simple mathematics and taking into account the angle and distance they moved the meteor, we find the amount of force those cannonballs must have hit it with is a bare minimum of 275.5 Octillion Tons. Since Kirby is made with the magic of the stars, which is equal everywhere in his body, his spitting power and his physical strength must be equivalent. So that's a total of 275.5 Octillion Tons of force.

Superman: I measured over a dozen of Superman's strongest measurable feats, and the most impressive of the bunch turns out to be the time he helped move the Megaddon. During this story arc, an old weapon named the Megaddon was able to control Superman's mind and forced him to go inside the machine and use his strength on the gears in order to keep it going. Because of the rules of force distribution, the amount of force from the inside to get this thing to start moving should be equal to or more than the object's total weight. Luckily, we can figure that out by comparing the Anti-Sun on its nose to the Earth-Moon system and then comparing that to the rest of the ship. According to these estimations, the total volume of this weapon should be around 454 sextillion cubic meters. Now we need the density, which…is harder to figure out, since we're never even given a hint as to the material its made with or its density. However, it was chained to a black hole for an incredibly long time and, despite being somewhat near that same black hole, wasn't damaged. One scientist's article has estimated that in order for a material to survive being next to a black hole, it should be at least ten thousand times as dense as our most dense material on earth: osmium. Using that as a base, and not taking into account the fact that the device is mostly hollow in order to compensate for using a minimum density, it should weigh about 113,119,444,707,577,672,000,000,000,000 tons. Note that this doesn't take speed into account, as the Megaddon already had an engine capable of supplying the speeds necessary. It just needed Superman to move the gears with enough force to keep it going, which should be just outmatching its weight. That's 113.12 Octillion Tons of force.

Speed:

Kirby: Kirby on his own two feet isn't incredibly fast, except in reaction time, moving, at best, around the speed of light if we amp it up because of the time he chased some lasers. However, this isn't really a factor since he has the Warp Star. He's used it plenty of times in battle and has clearly been able to react to everything while on it. Even if it's destroyed, Kirby can always make another one at very little cost. The Warp Star's upper limit is unknown, but it has traveled to Shiver Star, a post-apocalyptic Earth, before. Stupidly impressive, as, according to the Kirby's Dream Land 3 instruction manual, Popstar resides at the very edge of the universe. Now, the known universe stretches to about 13.8 billion light-years away from Earth. And, while we don't have an exact time it took for him to reach Shiver Star, we know it didn't take long, as Dark Matter was capable of infesting entire planets over the course of a few hours and nothing had changed when Kirby returned. That being said, we do have a definite limit on how SLOW it could have gone. In the official manga, it was stated in passing that the entirety of Kirby 64 took place in less than a week. Even assuming that Kirby spent a full three days traveling to Shiver Star and the same amount of time traveling back, spending his remaining day on all of his many adventures and traveling to every other planet across the universe and back as well, and not taking into account that scientists have estimated that the full size of the universe is likely at least 250x the size of the observable universe, that's still moving at (and reacting at) 1,126,736,529,860,190,000,000 (1.1 Sextillion) MPH.

Superman: After measuring out six of Superman's best speed feats (you guys have no idea into the amount of work I put into figuring out the size of Apokolips just to measure him against that surfer guy), his fastest was when three versions of him, including the one we're using, flew to the Andromada Galaxy in a very short time. Being a comic book, the exact time isn't known, but while they were flying, Batman was having his own little adventure on the side. Using this as an approximate timestamp, a fair estimation would be about five minutes. However, we can give both characters the benefit of the doubt and claim the feat was performed in only one minute. At 60 seconds, the Supermen's speed clocks in at 894,844,380,000,000,000,000 (895 Quintillion) MPH.

Durability:

Kirby: Kirby has survived a crazy number of things, including full blasts of antimatter and dimension-destroying attacks, but most of these are incalculable. So let's go back to the whole Halberd cannon thing. The Destroya-breaking beam (that supposedly hits with the force of a Supernova) lasted exactly 0.16 seconds, and Kirby could endure two blasts that last for 2.76 seconds. That's a total of 34.5 blasts' worth. If each blast is one supernova, that's 824.55 Octillion Megatons. However, I want to stress that this was Kirby when he was very young and still training. He's since taken similar beams from beings like Marx for nearly seven full seconds. However, since there's no way to prove that these beams are as powerful as the Halberd's cannon, I decided to go with the numbers on this one.

Superman: Superman has also survived an insane amount of things, but his biggest feat was undoubtedly surviving the explosion of the Source Wall, which is a wall that separates entire universe and timelines, but this is another one of those immeasurable feats. However, he did survive an explosion fifty times that of a Supernova, which explodes with the force of at least 10^44 Joules, while weakened, so…1.195 Nontillion Megatons, everyone.

Results:

Strength:

Kirby: 275.5 Octillion Tons

Superman: 113.12 Octillion Tons

Speed:

Kirby: 1.1 Sextillion MPH

Superman: 895 Quintillion MPH

Durability:
Kirby: 824.55 Octillion Megatons
Superman: 1.195 Nontillion Megatons

As you can clearly see, Kirby handily takes both Strength and Speed, while Superman takes the trophy in durability - though this is still debatable. But, you say, what about the idea of Superman's infinite strength? Even without those feats of lifting Specter or that book, his maximum potential says his strength is limitless, right? In response, well, even if Superman's strength is infinite (which is up for debate), that doesn't guarantee a win against Kirby in the strength department. Remember the time Kirby clashed with Magolor? At this time, Kirby was wielding the Ultra Sword, which can cut through absolutely anything, and Magolor blocked it with his energy shield, which, being infinitely powered, is unable to be broken. It was literally a match between an unstoppable force and an immoveable wall. Since these two objects were being wielded by actual beings in this case, the only way one could win is if they surpassed the other if the strength department, being able to force the other down until they couldn't hold their object's power any longer. This made the whole thing basically a cosmic arm wrestle, and, since Magolor had infinite strength, he should have won effortlessly. But Kirby outmatched his strength anyway because…he's Kirby.

Now, I'm not saying Kirby is physically superior to Superman. The numbers may say so, but numbers can only go so far in measuring what these two are capable of. I bring all of this up and showcase this math in order for you to understand what I do: that Superman does NOT eclipse Kirby in physical ability. If you can accept the two as possible equals, that's all I ask. In all my research, the conclusion I've come to is that, at the very least, they're in the same realm of physical capabilities. That's all I ask you accept.

But once you do, that's when the cracks start to show up in the idea of Superman's victory.

With his over a thousand years of fighting under his belt (even if the majority was with completely different powers), Superman certainly has more experience than Kirby, but Kirby still takes the skill advantage. When evenly powered, Superman lost a boxing match against Muhammed Ali (no disrespect intended towards that guy, he's the best thing ever), while Kirby won his match against a boxer created by Nightmare to be one of the best in the galaxy. And in a world with the likes of Knuckle Joe and the Master Hand/Crazy Hand duo, that's saying something. Not to mention that Kirby's martial arts have proven themselves against other Star Warriors and masters, while Superman was wrecked by the likes of Green Arrow and Alfred via their martial arts. And due to Kirby being made entirely of an energy of the universe, he had no cells or brain to destroy via heat vision or pressure points to be exploited.

Kirby's arsenal of copy abilities and weapons is also far superior to Superman's. It's true that no one copy ability or weapon is as powerful as one of Superman's main abilities, but Supes has a total of maybe eleven abilities he can use properly in this fight (and that's stretching it), while Kirby has over fifty different copy abilities, over a dozen items and weapons, several other superpowers, and the ability to combine his copy abilities together, not even mentioning his Super Abilities. And Kirby can switch in between all of these at will, and each one provides him with a brand-new fighting style for Superman to get used to, and, as we've established, he doesn't do that too well.

Superman was fast enough to outmatch the Star Warrior Sense's ability to predict its opponent's moves, but it still let Kirby know where he usually was, nullifying his invisibility and super-ventriloquism. The Super Flare wouldn't work too well, either. Kirby could just use the Invincibility Candy or the Fire ability (which protects him from heat) or fly away with the Warp Star long before the ability actually goes off. Or, while Superman's charging it, he could always just eat him. That'd end it real fast. Superman might - MIGHT, be able to figure out the counter-vibration to Kirby and try to erase him with a scream, but that's incredibly unlikely. Not only has he been unable to do it to any of his foes after True Darkseid, but Kirby's unnatural nature as a force of the universe means that figuring out how to cancel him out would be way harder than doing it to a normal physical being. Plus, Kirby could always suck up the soundwave; he's done it before. Or he could use the Warp Star to get out of the way. Heck, even if it collided with him, it's possible it wouldn't even work, since he took an energy-based attack meant to do something very similar and it did no real harm. Superman couldn't even hide inside a sun until coming out more powerful than anything Kirby's ever fought, because Kirby is nowhere near patient enough to let him do it. The Fire Ability, the Invincibility Candy, and especially Hypernova Kirby all counter this tactic quite well. Heck, he might not even need those things, since he's had an entire adventure on the surface of Hotbeat, which we're pretty sure is Dreamland's sun. And even if Superman does manage to knock Kirby out, he'll recover in less than a minute, while knocking Superman out usually means he's sleeping for hours to come.

But what really ends this is Kirby's main ability to just eat whatever he's fighting. Superman is definitely light enough to be sucked up, so he always has to be on his toes in order to not be caught unaware and get inhaled, as eating Superman just ends this fight instantly. Also, the inhale and copy ability meant that unless Superman never used his powers aside from physical ones, Kirby never runs out of copy abilities. He'd always have Tornado, Ice, and…maybe Fire, maybe Beam, maybe Laser, at the ready whenever Superman used one of these attacks. To top it all off, Kirby and all of his abilities and most of his weapons are made of magic, which passes through Superman's bio-electric aura and hits his physical body. Previously, Superman has been able to take a punch from the Claw of Horus, which can destroy planets and is also made of magic, and passed out for a few minutes afterward. Since Kirby is also magical and can also destroy an entire planet with a single punch, it's not unreasonable to say he could do the same thing, and then eat Superman while he's asleep. Technically speaking, a single sword beam or slash from the Ultra Sword would be enough to finish the fight. And recall that while Superman's been knocked out and defeated many times, even at his full potential, Kirby's never been defeated in a single physical fight.

And yet, Superman's beaten unbeatable foes before. He's toughed out and killed even Captain Marvel and Hercules, who are supposed to be around his level physically (like Kirby) and magical (like Kirby). So with that being known, why should Kirby be any different? Why should he lose to Kirby when he defeats characters that, at first glance, compare?

The difference is in the core of their characters. That's what it really comes down to.

When faced up against virtually any other fictional character, Kirby and Superman both would, most of the time, win. That's the entire point of their characters; they aren't meant to lose. Superman is an ideal. He's the perfect man in both power and morality. He's faced hundreds of foes that are insanely powerful and won. Even his weaknesses, including Kryptonite, continually lessen in power for the sake of making him unbeatable. At this point in his story, he's unlocked every bit of his potential, which, since he can absorb a limitless amount of solar energy, is theoretically infinite. Superman is always as powerful as he needs to be. Kirby is much the same. He was created in-universe with the ability to always win, and grow in power until foes he at first couldn't face fall before him. It doesn't matter if the monster is a pillow-creature that gives you scary dreams (how evil!) or an omnipotent reality-warper, Kirby will always rise beyond them and win. After battles with the likes of Magolor Soul and Marx, he, too, has reached his full potential, which, since he's made of the infinite power source of Star Power, is theoretically infinite. So it doesn't matter how strong their opponents are, they usually just win anyway. But when faced against EACH OTHER, it's a different story.

Superman has always been an invincible hero…to a point. He rises beyond any physically powerful foe, but there are areas he will never reach, powers he will never have, and beings he can never defeat. Omnipotent beings like True Darkseid and the Source are at a level he has never been able to contend with without outside help. He himself admits this while watching Soulfire Darkseid and the Source do battle. Does he have infinite physical capabilities? Maybe, maybe not, but even if he does, physical capabilities can only get you so far. The officially released Superman biography "Superman: The Ultimate Guide to the Man of Steel" states this fact on Page 25: "Superman's strength levels have fluctuated throughout his career, but he has never had the unlimited power of the Specter or other magical beings. There are always weights he can't lift, enemies he can't outrun, or puzzles he can't solve." It's hard to argue with an official statement released by DC, and this book was only released a few years ago! Superman has a single limit that will never be broken that lies beyond the physical realm. And that's where Kirby breaks this match. Kirby has faced beings with the kind of magical power to match the Specter and won. He's toughed out virtually every threat in the universe, both physical and metaphysical, and risen beyond them. Words like "power" and "capabilities" don't apply to this puffball - and that why using him as any kind of a scale (even a background one) when measuring Dedede in a past fight of mine was a mistake. Kirby is on a level where he just can't be compared to anyone. Heck, the only reason some monsters, like Masher, almost killed him in the past was because he hadn't found out how to harness his powers properly yet. Aside from a few ways (like draining all Star Power from the multiverse), he's essentially undefeatable. That's why he can do things like win an arm wrestle against a being with infinite strength, survive a beam that was made only to erase him from reality, kill somebody who was literally granted the ability to be more powerful than him, and kill the same guy again after he merged with the magic that gave him that power in the first place. Superman has lots of immeasurable feats, but these strike a level beyond that. When gods are granted the power to kill Superman, they usually can. When contesting strength against a being with infinite power, Superman usually loses. When Superman's hit by a beam specifically made to kill him, it usually does. Superman is an incredible hero, an ideal that inspires millions, and a fighter literally made to be physically superior to any other fictional character, but Kirby was made to surpass even that. When someone is so powerful that they defeat omnipotent beings every other week, even fiction's strongest superhero doesn't always win.

So, what do you get when you put a creature who can surpass anything against a man incapable of being surpassed? Well, in the end, even that very ability is something that can be (and has been) surpassed.

Superman just couldn't swallow this one.

The winner is Kirby.

…

Next time, on Death Battle…

A young man with pointed ears in green clothing throws out a grappling hook, grabbing an enormous eyeball and bringing it to him. He proceeds to plunge his sword into the creature, destroying it.

VS.

An average-looking man in wooden armor throws out a grappling hook, grabbing a platform near an enormous eyeball with teeth. He proceeds to plunge his sword into the creature, destroying it.

(Link vs. Terrarian.)