Thank you to the recent reviewers Whatanidea15 and AiThe19 (there have been a few guest reviews as well, which I also appreciate).

I am terrible at writing story blurbs, but I've been debating replacing the story description with a quote from this chapter- let me know if you have any thoughts or suggestions about that. Am I updating too frequently?

As for subject matter, I hope you like the longer chapter and you can follow the logic for the most part (not necessary to understand every aspect, as even Hermione is struggling with it right now). I can be kind of a geek about time travel theory (Hermione and I have this in common), so bear with the philosophical nature of this. Time is a loop, at any rate, so we'll see these themes and conversations return.

Chapter 5

Past Meets Future

Hermione found herself falling and bouncing as she did so. She, Beppy, and Snape had hit a bed when they apparated, and they landed with a slight bounce, but not enough to dislodge them from the mattress. As she looked around at the king-sized four-poster and the darkened room, she couldn't help but be glad for Beppy's aim.

"Where are we, Beppy?"

"Headmaster's home. Spinner's End, Cokeworth." Hermione looked around at the dark room. There was the outline of a wardrobe, a chair, and a small writing desk with a few books on it, and a fireplace with a hearth rug and high-backed armchair. She could see through an open curtain that they were on the second floor. A fireplace on the second floor? Perhaps the room is magically altered.

"I must return, miss." Beppy gave no further instructions or explanation before disappearing again.

Hermione sighed and looked down at Snape, who she was still kneeling over. You're safe now.

The next few hours were a bit of a blur. Hermione slept on and off, not leaving his side and readministering blood and fluids at the appropriate intervals. Every time she looked at Snape now, her chest ached painfully. Dead and dying, her heart would groan, and the scene of him gushing blood and frozen stiff on the floor of the Shack would flash in her memory. After a few hours, he no longer needed the adapted bubblehead charm to help him breathe, though he was still very pale and showed no signs of stirring.

Hermione kept looking back through her Mediwitch guide for more information now that she knew the exact kind of injury she needed to treat. If the book was accurate, she did seem to have done a surprisingly good job at treatment on the fly. Future-Hermione had indeed pre-soaked the cloth around his neck in Essence of Dittany to help clean and seal the wound and minimize scarring. The redness and swelling on Snape's neck were to be expected, especially at this stage, and she believed that he may well make a full recovery with continued monitoring and rest. This was a true relief to her, and it was so difficult to believe completely, partially because she wanted it so badly.

When they had arrived at the house, she had used her wand to undress him down to only his trousers, completely bare at the chest, in order to receive treatment. The torn and bloody black robes, frock coat, and white button-down shirt had been vanished, not worth the effort of mending in case there was any venom remaining on them. Hermione's face had grown hot and flushed at seeing Snape's bare chest, noting it to be wiry, lean, and strong. She had deliberately had to stop herself more than once from following the trail of small black hairs down his chest with her eyes. She had vacillated between being ashamed and embarrassed at her growing crush and his state of undress and between being decidedly blasé about it since she was apparently both his healer and his lover now. For the meantime, she had settled with pulling a thin sheet up over him and tucking it under his arms at the sides as a compromise to her warring thoughts.

Hermione had cared about him already before she had even travelled to the future, for she was a bleeding-heart Gryffindor who championed the underdog, Professor Snape included. But now, after having been held and kissed by him, she knew him capable of kindness and affection as well as intelligence, cunning, loyalty, and bravery. After having seen him nearly ripped to shreds by a venomous snake and left to die by Voldemort himself, the fluttering sensation at the top of her chest was no more. Now it was replaced with painful groaning, gong-like thuds, and occasional waves of nausea. It was not a crush any longer, but it couldn't be anything more serious either. It couldn't be love.

She couldn't love him now. After all, she didn't know him well enough. What did she know about him apart from what facets of his personality that he had felt a necessity to show to students or Order members? These noble qualities of his were there plainly on display for anyone who bothered to look but were nothing specially meant for her. Though, she thought wryly, Harry and Ron never seem to understand he's even on our side. That is something I have realized myself, I suppose.

Hermione had started to curiously wonder how it had started between her and Professor Snape. He was apparently comfortable enough now to push her up against a wall and snog her to oblivion…not that she minded. As she grew tired and restless keeping watch over his sleeping form, she slipped between wondering, daydreaming, and fantasizing about the possible scenarios. Would she be given an Order mission along with him? Would she ask for extra credit assignments or extra Defense lessons to spend more time with him? Would she get herself in trouble this year and earn repeat detentions with the stern Professor?

At that thought she flushed and turned to look at him again, his stern profile endeared to her now.

I can't love him…not yet.

Hermione awoke with a start, sweating and gripping her wand tightly. She was in the fireside armchair, having pulled it up to the side of the bed to keep close to Snape. There hadn't been any need to light the fire earlier as it was May and near to sweltering in the house. She had cast repeat cooling charms around the bed and the chair, but she realized the last set must have worn off in her sleep. Judging by the sky outside, it was now late afternoon, though they had arrived at night. Her head throbbed painfully. Bollocks. I was so busy taking care of him that I forgot to feed myself.

She heard something coming from what must be downstairs. This is what had woken her up, she realized.

"Hermione! I'm coming up the stairs now," a voice called. "Don't hex me, I'm unarmed!"

Hermione rose swiftly to her feet and made her way between the bed and the door, protecting her patient. She gritted her teeth as her head throbbed again and raised her wand determinedly, pointing it right at the door.

The knob turned slowly, and a hand cautiously came through the doorway first, palm up and forward to show it was empty. This was followed by the other hand that had been on the knob, similarly empty and entering ahead of its owner.

Upon seeing who it was, Hermione gasped and faltered.

"But- But you can't be here," she said, horrified. "It isn't allowed."

"None of this is allowed," the figure said calmly. "And I've been here before."

Hermione simply stared, gobstruck at her future self.

"Please," Future-Hermione said softly. "Please lower your wand. I need to go to him." She looked filthy. She was dirt worn, her hair frizzy, wild, untamed, and her clothes singed and frayed. Yet it was unmistakably her.

"You're definitely…me." Hermione said, wand still raised. It was supposed to have been a question, yet it lacked the inflection or the threat behind hearing the wrong answer.

"I knew you would be here. Who else would?"

Good point, she thought, but she didn't lower her wand yet. "Where am I going after this?"

Future-Hermione broke into a genuine smile. "8th of September, 1996. Detention with Severus…" Her eyes darted to the bed. "Now, please…"

Severus. Hermione lowered her wand hesitantly and let Future-Hermione stride past her. She took her younger counterpart's seat in the armchair that was pulled up to the side of the bed. Scooting forward with the chair and leaning over, she reached down and took Snape's hand in hers, entwining her fingers in his and raising their hands to kiss his knuckles tenderly. Future-Hermione squeezed her eyes shut as she held Snape's hand to her lips and silent tears fell seamlessly down her face. Past-Hermione watched helplessly as her future self clutched Snape's hand, leaning her whole upper frame over the bed, and dissolving into silent shoulder-wracking sobs.

Hermione watched in awe for a few minutes, feeling like an intruder on this intimate moment, even though she would participate in it soon enough.

Future-Hermione pulled herself together enough to stop crying shortly after, at least enough to look up at her and gasp out, "I brought food. It's downstairs in the kitchen." That was enough for Hermione to turn and leave the room and give them some privacy.

After Hermione had eaten a little and had some water, she could care enough to notice what the rest of the house looked like. The bedroom must have been magically altered because it appeared homey, warm, and inviting, unlike the rest of the place. She was surprised at how derelict the house was. Peeling wallpaper covered the walls. The rooms were sparsely furnished with dusty, dirty pieces of ramshackle furniture that were old, stained, and cracked in numerous spots. She appreciated the wall-to-wall bookshelves in the main room, but they were dust-covered and the books appeared rarely used.

Peeking out through the kitchen window, Hermione could see that the street the house was on was similarly rundown, if quiet for now. The dilapidated houses she could see from the window reminded her of the descriptions of smoggy, dreary workhouse and mill towns in the 19th-century novels she would sometimes indulge in over the summers. Like a Dickens novel, she thought. No wonder he's always in a bad mood. It must be depressing to live here.

Hermione returned to the room up the stairs where Future-Hermione and Snape were. Snape had still not awakened upon her return and Future-Hermione was gazing down at him and stroking his hair and face gently. She had been leaning in and whispering something to him when younger Hermione opened the door. Future-Hermione bit her lip and wrinkled her nose slightly in annoyance, but otherwise continued stroking Snape's hair. She pulled back from him, however, not leaning in so much anymore.

"We should talk," Hermione said from the doorway, still unsure how to handle speaking to her older (and probably wiser) self. "If there's anything you can tell me."

"Yes, there is." Future-Hermione barely glanced up at her and continued to tenderly stroke Snape's thin, dark hair between her fingers. "You can bring the other chair and come sit."

Hermione retrieved the wooden chair from in front of the desk and pulled it around to the other side of the bed nearest to the desk before sitting. The two Hermiones faced each other across the bed, Snape lying between them, his chest rising and falling steadily.

Hermione wasn't sure where to start. What am I allowed to know? Why didn't she give me more information to begin with?

"Don't worry," Future-Hermione said. "Nothing has changed. I've been in your shoes before, so it definitely happens this way. Just give me a minute, I'm trying to remember how this conversation goes."

Of all the things I've seen since getting my letter…this has to be the most bizarre.

"Tell me what you've figured out so far." Future-Hermione finally said.

"What I've- I thought you could tell me some things. I've had to figure things out because of the lack of detail that's been given to me." I've just patched your man up and brought him here for you when you very well could have done it yourself instead of sending me to the future to do it. You were there in the Shack already.

Future-Hermione was trying hard not to look exasperated with…herself and failing. "It's me, remember? I know what you're thinking. I couldn't give you more information in the note because of who else was going to be looking at it. Please just work through this with me. Saying it out loud is actually- it's literally brainstorming."

Hermione twisted a stray curl around her finger. "You want me to say what I've figured out about me and…" she gestured towards Snape on the bed with her other hand. Future-Hermione blushed furiously despite providing no evidence to a contrary truth with her fingers on Snape's face. She gently pulled her hand back and kept it away from Snape for now. She seemed more embarrassed to admit the current romantic situation to her past questioning self than she did to actually participate in it.

"Sorry, no. Just the relevant Order information. What is Dumbledore going to ask you about or try to get from you when you return?"

"What, he doesn't find out about this? No wonder…"

"Hermione!" Now that was bizarre. She was actually bossing herself around. The Hermiones were becoming two headbutting factions of the same personality.

"What I've figured out, right." Hermione began rotely rattling off facts as if for a class. "Professor Snape is the Headmaster. I am not at Hogwarts this year and…neither are Harry and Ron. We're all together. There's…something very important about a wand, something that Voldemort has been having trouble with up until now. I think it has to do with Harry and Voldemort's wands and how they connected at the end of fourth year…and-and…" She gulped, unsure of what to say about what had occurred for Future-Hermione. "The fighting…the war…" She faltered here and trailed off, fearing for the worst. She had heard the noises when she had been in the Shack. The culmination, as Snape had referred to it, had been happening for hours, almost an entire day by now. She looked toward her future counterpart, waiting to see if those had been the correct answers. I want to know what happens…but she definitely can't tell me that.

Finally, after a great pause, Future-Hermione gave her a small smile. "We win."

"…what?"

"We win." She said it firmly, her eyes flashing. "It comes at a cost, of course. War always does."

"You can't tell me anything about what happens to me or Harry or Ron, can't give me any detail about whose life I'm supposed to save or how, but you can tell me that?!" Hermione blabbered in shock. "Doesn't that spoil everything? How can you give that away?!" The timeline, the ramifications! There's no way I won't get in trouble for this, right?

"Because," Future-Hermione said, "you need hope. You need to know that we win." She looked back at Snape lying on the bed and said softly, "He needs hope."

"And Professor Dumbledore? You said he would want to know things, that he would ask me about what happened when I go back. What am I supposed to do, just keep this from him? Just not tell him that I met my-myself and I found out we defeated Voldemort?"

"That's exactly what you're going to do." Future-Hermione said calmly. "You can imply that you know we win, but you certainly won't tell him about me." She looked fierce, sitting there calmly discussing how not to break the timeline while covered in the dirt and grime of war and looking over her unconscious professor slash lover. As Ron would say, brilliant but scary.

"I don't understand."

"The note you got telling you to come forward to this time. You saw the handwriting; you know you wrote it. Tell me what that means." Future-Hermione waited for Past-Hermione's brain to click into place, her eyes narrowed impatiently.

Hermione hadn't wanted to think about that part yet, especially after what she had just been through. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply and exhaled. Her wild curls bounced slightly as she tilted her head upwards. She spoke without opening her eyes, hoping there was another possible answer. "That there are more trips with the Time-Turner. I must have gone backward in time at some point to be able both to write the note and to give it to Professor Dumbledore before he gave it to me."

"Yes." Future-Hermione paused, waiting for Hermione to come to terms with the idea of more jumping around in time. "Unfortunately, Dumbledore will try to keep this information from you. He's going to try to keep you from using the Time-Turner for another trip, which certainly can't happen. I'm not really sure for his reasoning behind this, apart from the fact that he probably believes in alternate dimensions of time. He likely thinks that by not giving you the next assignment with the next date and time to travel to that you won't go back at all…even though he knows that you already have."

Hermione frowned and tried to make sense of this and remembered her discussion with Snape about time theory. "So…time is a loop, time is inalterable, but Dumbledore doesn't know that?"

"More like…he doesn't want to believe it." Future-Hermione smiled grimly. "I understand the reasoning. If time is inalterable, then our mistakes are set in stone and there's no way to truly change the past or the future." Her smile softened and her eyes turned back to Snape on the bed. "There must be some unavoidable element of fate tied into our actions," she mused in a whisper.

Hermione felt a wave of cold sweep over her. I had no choice to be a witch, the magic was just born in me. Now I have no choice but this future that has already been revealed to me? This future-past that I've just told myself about? Don't I control anything I do?

"Then what's the point?" Hermione said dully. "What's the point of anything?"

"Really, Hermione? Nihilism?" Future-Hermione scoffed. "That reaction is why I haven't told you very much." She had noticed her distress, presumably having already experienced it. "There is something there that binds people to time. Call it fate, destiny, serendipity, I don't know what. Perhaps it's proof of the divine." She shrugged, seemingly content not to question it for now. That doesn't seem like me, Hermione thought bitterly. I have to understand.

"The point is," Future-Hermione continued, "you shouldn't be resentful of this element of fate. Let's just call it the magical property of Time. It is like magic, after all. Unavoidable, certainly unexplainable in the minute sense, but its existence doesn't mean that there isn't choice involved in our actions." She took Snape's hand in hers, squeezing it and returning her eyes to stare determinedly across the bed at her past self. "That's one thing you don't have to worry about. You choose this." Future-Hermione said it so forcefully that there was no way it could be questioned.

Hermione bit her lip and nodded. To be honest, she had already known that. She wouldn't choose a relationship with Snape now, but she already wanted to choose it, hoped for it in the future.

Future-Hermione continued. "Dumbledore will try to stop you from getting the next assignment and…" her face darkened. "He will try to keep you from any choices that involve Severus."

Hermione frowned, trying to keep up with the train of thought, her brow furrowing. "I thought you said he didn't know about that."

"I don't know exactly what Severus has said to him about…us. Remember, Dumbledore at least hopes that time is changeable. Whatever Severus has said or implied to him, Dumbledore hopes that he can change your behavior and prevent that reality."

"So…what am I supposed to do about that?"

"You're going to have to pretend that you know a lot more about the future than you do. Dumbledore wants that information, and he will give you what you want, the other mission with the Time-Turner, in order to have it."

"Wait, I'm really having trouble following this." She waved her hands impatiently as she spoke. Hermione was growing increasingly frustrated at not understanding all aspects of the conversation. She had been long-suffering enough in the last 48 hours after being bombarded with revelation after revelation. Going forward in time, snogging her professor, nearly getting killed by that damn snake, then saving her future lover's life…and Future-Hermione can't even explain things properly? "Firstly, why can't YOU just give me the other date and time for me to travel to with the Time-Turner? Why go through all this trouble to get it from Professor Dumbledore if time is a loop since you've already been there, know when it is, and know what I'm supposed to do? Secondly, why would Professor Dumbledore care what happens in the future- this future- if he believes he can change it to something else anyway? Thirdly, and most importantly, why can't you just tell me everything I need to know instead of having me bluff and pretend I know more than I do?" There's more! Why didn't Professor Dumbledore use this fancy time-turner to do a hell of a lot more things with it than sending me here to get lectured?! Gods, I really am a stuck-up know-it-all!

Future-Hermione laughed, and Past-Hermione could have screamed in frustration if she hadn't bit down hard on her lip. "Sorry, sorry, it's just really funny seeing it from this side and knowing everything that happens later." She calmed down before continuing. "The reason that I can't give you the other date and time is…I won't say that the reason is because it's already happened that way but be forewarned that it does come up quite a few times when the only explanation is, 'It already happened that way'. So, another reason that I can't do it is because we need Dumbledore on our side, even if it's reluctantly, especially for Severus' sake. As to your second point, Dumbledore certainly cares what happens in the future, but he won't try to change it if it is already taking the course that he has been planning for it. That is why he's letting you use the Time-Turner now and he'll let you use it again later. It's another reason you can use your knowledge to ensure he keeps his promise."

"Keeps his promise?"

"Yes. When you gave him the notes you spoke to him about it then. He's already given his word that he would allow you to take the other mission, the one backwards in time, but I think when he saw that you were going forward first, he thought he could play dirty. He thought he could get you to go forward, fix the future to his liking and then deny you travelling to the past," Future-Hermione said bitterly.

Professor Dumbledore would go back on his word? "What, I can't trust him?"

"No." Future-Hermione was firm on this. "You can only trust Severus. And only after your other mission. Definitely don't tell him anything before that."

"So…let me get this straight. I'm supposed to use what little knowledge I've learned about the future to pretend that I know everything that happens…in order to get Professor Dumbledore to trust me enough to keep using the Time-Turner?" Future-Hermione nodded. Hermione's eyes narrowed and she continued. "You never answered my last point. Why can't you just tell me what happens so that I don't make any mistakes in pretending to know the future?"

"Because," Future-Hermione said slowly, appearing to choose her words carefully. "If you knew every piece of Dumbledore's plan, you would never cooperate with him." She looked quietly furious as she spoke. "If you don't cooperate with him, he won't trust you enough to let you use the Time-Turner to travel back-"

"But time is looped! I can do whatever the bloody hell I want, and it will just loop back on itself!" Hermione cried out.

"No."

"NO? Is that all you have to say?"

"Gods, Hermione, do you think I'm an idiot? That you're an idiot? I've had this exact conversation before from your end. I know you're pissed at me, but I really don't care." Future-Hermione sighed deeply and slumped back in the armchair. Hermione felt a twinge of guilt at seeing her own exhaustion. She really was just hurting herself. "Look, I meant what I said about not being resentful. You still have free will. It's not you or your choices that don't matter, it's just that time…time doesn't allow for inconsistencies. Think of it this way," she continued, leaning forward again, clearly interested enough by the subject to seamlessly transition into full Hermione lecture mode. "You are a being that exists inside of time. Time has different properties, one of which is this magical one that means it loops in on itself and disallows for any contradiction between past, present, and future. This property of time has nothing to do with you or anyone else. A Hermione will always be a Hermione, no matter what time does, just like a banana could never be an elephant if it tried."

I don't know. There's a spell for that. There's a spell to make a Hermione not a Hermione too, Past-Hermione thought grumpily. But she didn't argue further.

Future-Hermione kept speaking, knowing Hermione hadn't quite been convinced yet. "You will always act the way that you intend to act, regardless of whether that intention carries over through time. Time does not prevent you from doing anything; you always do what you wish to do. Your hand is never forced."

"Then…people can never change? Intention can never change?"

Future-Hermione smiled genuinely at this, her smile reaching her eyes. She lovingly stroked Snape's hand with her thumb and turned to gaze at him as she spoke. "Only people who can change…do change. Time does not alter our natures, our souls. If people have it in their nature to change their intentions, then they will. Ramifications of our actions are long-reaching across time, but if we have it in our nature to adjust who we are personally, then we can." Future-Hermione paused for a few beats, trying best to sum up her points in a more succinct way. "You can't go against yourself, against who you are, no matter what. That should be comforting rather than horrifying."

Hermione just nodded, knowing she would have to replay this conversation over in her head many times and analyze it. She remembered the leatherbound journal and vowed to color code some notes in it about this time theory. Time…philosophy. "Is there anything else I need to know?" Nothing else that will mess with my psyche, I hope.

"Genealogy. I know it sounds strange, but just write mum and ask about your family history. You'll understand later."

Hermione nodded bleakly. The exhaustion had started to seep into her future self and was spreading across the bed like a wave. She realized she had been utterly selfish to have this conversation and push an argument about it when Future-Hermione must have just come from battle and not even bathed. Hermione looked down at her own appearance. Her attire contained Snape's dried blood, her own dried sweat, matted strands of hair, dust from the Shack or from this house…

Hermione stood, raised her wand, and cast a quick cleansing charm on herself. She hesitated for a split second before repeating the charm on her future self. Future-Hermione gave a quick nod in thanks that reminded Hermione of Snape's slight inclination of the head she had seen him make before. We must have spent some time together for me to pick that up.

"You should go," Future-Hermione said. "Don't worry about Severus. I have a healer coming in a few hours." She rose, gently placing Snape's hand down on the bed and walking over to herself. Hermione stiffened as Future-Hermione came over to her and hugged her. It was comforting, albeit strange. She relaxed slightly into her own arms, finally hugging herself back.

"How do I get back?" She said quietly after the hug ended and the women slowly pulled away from each other.

"Beppy!" Future-Hermione called out.

There was a crack and the familiar house elf appeared. The frying pan and the meat mallet were gone. Hermione noticed guiltily that there was a long tear down the middle of the elf's right ear. The tear was bright red and raised, clearly in the process of healing.

"Oh, Beppy." Future-Hermione sighed. "I'm sorry. You should go rest."

"Oh no, Miss! Beppy has served Hogwarts greatly! Beppy's heart is full. This is another task for Hogwarts, Miss?"

She hesitated for a moment but must have decided this was important enough to ask. "Yes. She," Future-Hermione gestured to the past version of herself, "needs to be apparated back to the Shrieking Shack. I would do it myself, but I'm pretty drained at the moment, and I know house elf magic doesn't drain with apparition." Beppy smiled and nodded, glad to be of service again. "However," Future-Hermione continued sternly, "please go get some rest right after you help with this. That is also a task that serves Hogwarts."

Beppy nodded again.

Future-Hermione tossed the satchel bag to her past self and as that Hermione caught it, Beppy touched her leg with his hand and apparated them both away to the Shack.