He heard muffled speaking as his vision blotted in around him, spots of color dancing and fading around his eyes. He tried to answer back, but his mouth tasted like dried blood and his head felt far too heavy with pain to lift.

Severus felt his body being moved and he had to shut his eyes to avoid being sick with dizziness. He couldn't even think well enough to remember where he must be or who he must be with. Hopefully no foe, for he was powerless and cared little.

Splashing. Wet.

He let out an involuntary groan, unable to voice with words that yes, that did relieve the pain somewhat. After a time, an unquantifiable bit of time that he couldn't judge, be it hours or minutes, the pounding in his head subsided enough for him to open his eyes.

He was in the bathtub at his own home in Spinner's End, being tended to by a flushed and muttering brunette.

Severus' chest warmed and a relief surged through him, allowing him to actually relax in the bath water. Didn't matter how delirious he was, he'd know this woman anywhere.

"I hate you," she muttered.

He tried to hold back a chuckle and it came out as a rasp. "Unlikely."

"What, I can't even.. ugh! You're too injured to care for yourself. Hmmph!" She had been trying very much to wash him gently, but she allowed herself to slap him lightly with the washcloth at this point.

"Hush," he whispered. "Nurse me back to health and then you can have your way with me."

Hermione gasped in consternation, and he really had to hold back a grin at this point because his face hurt. She snarled at him, not taking his teasing well as she usually did.

Once he'd been cleaned properly, she had even bandaged up his weeping and scarred forearm, Hermione helped him into bed. He wasn't clothed, which he was pleased with, but she didn't join him.

He frowned, and turned his head slightly to look at her, despite the pain.

"You really, don't know, do you?" Hermione looked… not even angry. Troubled. Wounded?

Betrayed.

Severus tried to push himself up, concerned, but hissed, his aching body not allowing for it.

"Don't." Hermione said, flatly. "You're in no condition. I need you healed enough to answer my questions." She swallowed and looked away, her eyes tearing up. "I'll return in two days. That should be enough time for you to rest and heal. Potions are on the nightstand if you need them."

Without another word, she walked out of the room and shut the door. He heard her steps going down the stairs and a light pop of apparition indicating her departure.

Severus lay staring up at the ceiling, unable to sleep.

What else had happened?

Severus did rest, and it did take quite a while to recover. Once he finally did fall asleep, he slept most of the next day and only briefly puttered around before bedtime came again.

The second day was much better. He was relieved, as he'd be leaving for France the next day and he couldn't afford to be weak at the beginning of a grueling mastery. By the evening, he was relieved to see that he was almost fully restored to both physical and magical health, though his left arm was still lightly throbbing, and he would need to work towards casting with that hand.

He made dinner for two, unsure if Hermione would join him. When time passed and it was certain that she would not come in time for a meal, he ended up eating both portions, realizing he was starved of calories and needed sustenance.

When it was finally late enough for him to start getting worried, there was a knock on the front door, and he let her in quickly. Severus swept her into his arms, closed the door, and kissed her before she could protest, knowing he wouldn't see her again for a while.

To his surprise, Hermione kissed him back breathlessly. She kissed him as he lifted her and carried her up the stairs to the bedroom. He deposited her gently on the bed, quickly climbing over her and kissing her languidly as they pressed their bodies together.

Severus kissed his way down her neck as she gasped. His hands moved to her waist to unbutton her jeans when he felt her stiffen slightly and inhale.

He glanced up and saw fear in her eyes. Guilt.

His body stiffened and chilled with the same fear and mistrust she must be feeling. He couldn't move off of her fast enough.

He pushed away from her and sat on the bed, staring wide-eyed and waiting for her to move or speak.

"What?" She whispered.

"What do you mean, what? Who do you think I am?" Severus swallowed, desperately wanting to hold her but terrified of touching her now. "I'm not a rapist," he said with disgust.

"I never said you were!" Hermione jumped up, her face flushed. "I want you! I need you, Severus!"

This did calm his nerves a little bit, but she said this far too desperately for comfort. "Physically, perhaps."

His words hung heavily in the room.

Yes, she wasn't giving herself to him. Not completely. She didn't trust him.

"That isn't rape, Severus," she said finally, looking away.

"It is not what I want." He said quietly, daring to reach out and grab her hand. "Not from you, not ever."

Hermione squeezed his hand, still looking away. Tears fell silently down her face as she breathed in and out raggedly, trying to calm herself.

Slowly, Severus inched his way closer to her, as if she were a frightened animal that had to be handled tenderly lest it bite or run. He drew her onto his lap and into his arms and she clutched him, hiding her face in his shirt as he rubbed her back.

"I want to hate you, but I can't," she sniffled. "I'm so angry with you, but- but I'll miss you…"

Severus kissed her wild hair and held her more tightly. Hermione gave a deep sigh and snuggled into him in relief, but after a few moments pushed back.

"Why?" She asked him, her voice cracking. "What did she ever do? Why did you kill her?"

"What?" He said sharply. "Who?"

"Marina!" Hermione cried. "I haven't been able to figure it out at all, and I figured out everything else, but it makes no sense! She had nothing to do with- with anything!"

"She…" Severus trailed off. He had remembered some of the interrogations, but the aftereffects of the Dark Mark had made it difficult to fully concentrate. "I… I don't know. I had no idea." He wracked his brain further, but the Dark Lord had not said anything about McKinnon when he was torturing the ones who had failed. Nor praising the ones he was pleased with.

"I don't believe it was… planned. She may have been a casualty," he said somberly. He never liked the McKinnon girl, but she hadn't deserved death.

"A casualty?! She's dead. You killed her. Not directly, but you let them into the castle. You were a part of it, Severus!" Hermione still desperately clutched the front of his shirt as her voice raised, almost begging for him to explain this because it didn't make sense.

"We do not have the facts… friendly fire is a possibility-"

"SEVERUS!" Hermione shoved him and pushed herself off his lap. "You will tell me everything. Now. From the beginning!"

And he did.

The communication quills to give word to the handler on their assignments, figuring out Calliope was the handler based on her reaction to Popov, trying to mitigate anything disastrous from getting back to her, finding out she was consorting with Karkaroff and gaining the Firebird feather from him, working on a plan to infiltrate the castle with Rosier, figuring out Karkaroff had been trying to curse Hermione and demanding further leeway with Cohen, and finally pairing twin cabinets as a doorway system to allow for the death eaters to enter the castle. Gaining his Dark Mark, though she had already seen it.

Everything.

Hermione sat quietly, taking it all in with a furrowed brow. She appeared to be trying to fit the pieces together and see if she had been missing anything.

"What about…" She started cautiously, but after a brief moment of hesitation, she barreled forward. "Callie said you asked her to support our union to the Dark Lord."

Severus inhaled in surprise. After a long silence, he answered. "I did."

"Why?"

He decided to bare everything to her. "The Dark Lord will need to approve of our marriage."

Hermione looked confused. "But I do not intend to marry you."

"What?" He choked out. His worst fears were being realized. "You cannot be serious."

Hermione frowned and looked slightly perturbed. "That isn't much of a proposal if you thought my answer was guaranteed. I did tell you… I did tell you I was concerned about the sides we are on-"

"Hermione!" Severus jumped off the bed in heated emotion, pacing the room to calm himself down as he spoke to her. "We are bound together, surely you understand the meaning of that! I understand if you want more time before things are settled, but there is no question of it happening!" He tried to calm his manner and barked, "Eventually!"

"How antiquated!" She jumped off the bed to meet his long strides. "And this is because we've slept together and I'm no longer pure? The decision is already made?"

"Hermione." He grabbed her by the shoulders and made her face him, his dark eyes shining with need and fear. "Yes, your virginity… should be for your husband… but apart from that, we are magically bound."

"What do you mean? How?"

"The Sanguine Virginis! How could you not understand! You offered it to me freely, knowing we would be intertwined magically in that potion. Our magic is bound together now! We will always be affected by one another. It is such a rare and powerful combination for a reason, Hermione!"

They had switched roles now and Severus was desperate to understand what had happened and why. Certainly, she had been unaware of the exact mechanics of the thing, but the meaning behind it, surely was obvious!

"I- I don't understand."

"Our magic is bound! If we are not-" He swallowed thickly, not able to accept it. "If we are not married, that is… if we are married to others or one of us is… the magic can be diluted. Our magic is bound, it is not supposed to be mingled with a third person or a fourth. The bond strengthens, but a broken bond would weaken both of us. Weaken our magic."

"Weaken how? What do you mean?!"

"I have no idea! It's rare enough to fulfill it as it is, let alone breaking it!"

"Why would anyone ever agree to that?" Hermione gasped. "It's completely illogical!"

"Why would anyone ever complete Sanguine Virginis with another?" Severus hissed, becoming angry. "To be bound to them!"

"We cannot be bound!" Hermione still looked up at him but began to cry. "We cannot!"

"Not…ever?" Severus said hoarsely. He had to keep himself from swinging his dark locks in front of his face to hide as he did when he was a child.

"Eventually…" Hermione closed her eyes, biting her lip. "Eventually would be…" She swallowed, then opened her eyes to meet his dark ones again. "Eventually may be too long."

"No. No, I promise it would not be." His hands moved too quickly for her to stop him from pulling her into his arms. He stroked her face with a long hand, gazing at her pleadingly. "Not too long for me. Give me time."

"You cannot promise that, Severus! You have no idea how- how long this war may last! It could be over tomorrow or- or it could last years!" She began grasping at straws. "Is there no way to undo the binding? I could come to you when the war ends, but we… we could be…"

"We could be what?" He growled.

She felt the air shift in his tone. He was doing his best to hold himself still.

"I- I just mean that we- we would not be encumbered by being bound-"

His face darkened. "Potter."

"What?"

Severus looked down on her with hatred in his face, causing her to retreat from him a few steps.

"You wish to try your hand at Potter," he continued in a low voice. "After all, he and Lily are not yet bound. There may be some hope for you."

"Wh- what? No!" Hermione shook her bushy head fervently. "No, I have no interest in James." He snarled at this. Another half-truth. He could see she was hiding something to do with him.

"I would never force you to be bound to me," he continued darkly. "By all means, let us smash the ingredient. It would invalidate my mastery, but that is a small price to pay to release an unwilling woman."

"It would- no! No, no I don't want that!"

"You do understand the pureblood traditions, do you not? Even if the Sanguine Virginis is no more, the reason consorts exist at all is to barter virginity to find a spouse. I am unlikely to find any other spouse unless she is similarly unwanted." Severus sneered. "But again, small price to pay. I told you, I am no rapist to hold you against your will."

"Severus, it's not that!"

"Then WHAT?!" He yelled. "I would bear the years for you, if it is necessary! I will wait for a marriage as long as I have you! The promise of you!"

"We are on different sides now! You were involved in this attack! I can't…" Hermione hesitated, looking at him with pleading eyes. They were too pleading, and she hesitated for long enough to give him an opening. He strode over and grabbed her again.

"You are mine. Mine." He kissed her lips fiercely, quickly pulling back and forcing her to meet his eyes. He felt the urgent need to claim her, erase Potter from the conversation entirely.

"You cannot be associated with me- fine. We have done this before. Go on dates with others, tell them you have turned your back on me. We must be separated for a time regardless." Severus looked her over possessively. "But none of them will know you are mine."

He kissed her again, his kisses aggressive and languid as he made his points to convince her.

"Your body- mine." He threaded his long hands through her hair as she responded with quick little gasping breaths between kisses. He kissed his way to her ear, having learned she responded well to his voice. "Whether in my bed or in your own, stroking yourself and calling my name until I can come to you… Mine."

Hermione moaned and her knees began to buckle. He lifted her quickly, moving her into their original position on the bed, him atop her.

"Your mind- mine." He sucked and kissed at the nape of her neck, sure to stay close to her ear. His hands ghosted lightly over her body, careful not to remove any clothing. No, he wanted her to be sure. "We are a secret, but we are of one mind."

Hermione exhaled beneath him, appearing to disagree with this statement but fighting her desire for him.

"Your heart." He kissed his way back to her lips, refusing to cease kissing. He had more trouble with this part, demanding her heart. His insecurities would not allow for it in case he were rejected outright.

He slowed the kisses and pulled away gently now, hoping she would reach out to him. "Mine. As I am yours." Severus said quietly. "All of me. Everything. Always."

Hermione swallowed. "Severus-"

"Your name. Is that mine as well?" He didn't say it angrily, but urgently, as if he had a right to know. She had demanded answers to her questions and he was sure he was right about this.

"My name?"

"Hermione."

"Um… yes?"

"Who else knows you are Hermione and not Anna?" It was an intimacy he could not bear Potter to be aware of. He couldn't truly know her.

She frowned. She tried to sit up, but he was still on top of her. "We are bound, Hermione. Trust me, I beg of you."

"Anna is my first name and Hermione is my middle name, that's all."

"Stop." He was more forceful with his tone again, though he did not appear angry. "Please. I withheld a great deal from you, to be sure. Yet, I did not lie to you. We both know there is a difference." He tried to still his heartrate and calm himself so she would be at ease enough to answer.

She shifted nervously. He rolled off her slightly so she could move, though he continued to hold her.

"What do you mean?"

Severus grabbed an errant curl and twisted it around his finger as he laid back. "Hermione is your name, not Anna. Anna is a false name. Perri may be a family name, but it is not your surname." Severus met her eyes which were wide with fear. "Does anyone else know you are Hermione?"

She stared at him, silent for a bit.

Finally, she mumbled, "Elpida. I didn't tell her, but the ministry found out and we're working together. That's how she knows." She looked at him questioningly, wondering what he knew.

Severus moved closer, looking concerned. "The ministry found out? Are you safe?"

"I- I don't know. I believe… I believe only she and… my direct superior know my name." She gazed at him with a mix of relief and astonishment.

"You are mine, Firebird." Severus reached out and stroked her face. "You cannot hide everything from me."

"How?"

"You gave me the occlumency books. The key to occlumency is honesty. The author does not say so directly, but it becomes clear when he speaks on the levels of intimacy behind shields. What comes with intimacy? Trust. Honesty."

"Have you been looking into my mind?"

"No, but you have opened it to me a few times. Besides this, I can tell when you are lying." He stayed close to her in case she made a run for it, and he had to keep her there. She was like a skittish rabbit, sometimes. "I thought you may have known about my family- the wizarding side. They were known for their skill in mind magic. It has come easily to me."

"What else… what else do you know?"

Severus readied himself to grab her. She may run.

"My Nonna spoke Italian to me as a boy. I have studied it on my own." He paused for effect, meeting her eyes. "Your pronunciation is quite good, but you are not fluent."

Her breath hitched, but she did not flee as he'd anticipated. She did still appear frightened.

"I believe you told the truth about being raised in England," Severus continued slowly. "But you cannot have lived in Genoa for six years without becoming fluent. That and your adoption of a pseudonym…"

"Yes?" She stared fixedly at him, wide-eyed and hanging on his every word.

"You have gone to school somewhere, that is certain. You are too brilliant to have been home educated by a single tutor." Severus mused. "I don't think you are from Durmstrang like the others, or they would have some familiarity with you. Beauxbatons? Ilvermorny? But why lie about attending either school?"

Hermione didn't answer him.

"You can trust me," he said. "One mind."

He could see her gritting her teeth and refusing to believe him. How could she trust him after her friend had died?

"Hermione," Severus pulled her closer into his embrace. "I am truly sorry. I cannot protect all of your friends. I have told you this before. I had no hand in Marina's death."

"If there was a plan to harm her, you would have told me?"

He paused. He was determined not to lie to her. If he couldn't tell her something, fine. But no lies.

"If I could have." She scoffed, unsatisfied with that answer. "If your safety was ensured," he clarified.

"That doesn't matter," Hermione said bitterly. "I worked against you without even knowing it. Callie and Karkaroff didn't show up to the ceremony because of me- you said that spoiled your plans. Ellie and I found them… together. Along with Professor McGonagall. That's why we were all late and they didn't show up. They were banned from the grounds."

"Ah, that would explain the Dark Lord's displeasure with them." Severus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "They are bottom of the cauldron at the moment."

She appeared curious about the fates of the two but didn't press him for more. She still sat awkwardly, her body twitching with need to be held by him, but her mind clearly conflicted.

"You can trust me, Hermione. I've faced the Dark Lord a few times now. I know enough occlumency to keep things hidden."

"Like what?" She refused to give him anything, only trying to piece together what he had already figured out and it was beginning to frustrate him.

"You've faked your background because he's after your family, just like the other transfer students. You're the only one of them who's smart enough to have given a false name to make it harder to trace you. The question is, who are you? Does he want financial support from your family like the Potters? Are you of a prominent pureblooded line that would help sway others to the cause?" Severus said this all in a quiet voice, hopeful that she would hear the truth and confess to him finally.

"Severus…" She sighed deeply and hung her shoulders.

She did not appear as frightened as before, but her next words were all the more frightening to him.

"Severus, I must go. I already told you that… that this will not work. Not now. If our magic must be bound through the Sanguine Virginis…" Her face looked bitter and sad. "Then I will not revisit breaking that bond til after your mastery ends."

She rose from the bed slowly, turning away from him.

"Hermione!" Severus jumped up after her. "Please!"

"I can't trust you, Severus," Hermione whispered, facing him again. "We work against each other, even accidentally. You cause harm to those I care about, even unknowingly. I cannot… I cannot be yours."

"Hermione, no." He held her again and she did not struggle, but her eyes were blank and cold. She did not like this decision either, it appeared. She was resigning herself to it because she believed it necessary.

That was good. Better than the alternative. He could still convince her, even if it took a while. Even if she left now unconvinced, he could bide his time.

"Hermione," he said, trying not to sound desperate and needy. "We are bound."

She began to struggle in his arms. "Severus, I must leave."

"Hermione, my Hermione," he murmured stroking her lightly, and her tears started flowing again.

"Please let me go!"

"You are mine! We are bound!"

"We cannot be!"

"Hermione, I love you!" He all but shouted.

"You can't!" She cried, "And I can't love you! Not now! We work against each other, we put each other in danger-"

"I will never allow you to come to harm. Never!" Severus growled possessively. "I protect what is mine and you are mine, Hermione! We are each other's!"

"I cannot protect you, Severus! I cannot defend your decisions any longer!"

He recoiled, despite himself.

Rejection. No, not from her.

"You are a Death Eater, Severus!" Her eyes darted to his left forearm and back. "You cause death!" Hermione shook her wild hair as she spoke, pushing back at his insistence. "I can't defend you anymore!"

"Don't do this," he whispered. "Don't be like her."

Hermione's eyes widened in realization, and she paused herself from struggling with him. "Like Lily," she said.

Severus jerked a nod, too foregone to deny it.

This was something they had not discussed.

He feared she would reject him eventually, just as Lily had. For James Potter, just as Lily had. He had allowed himself to become comfortable with her, more so than he had ever been with Lily to the point it terrified him.

Hermione consumed him.

She couldn't reject him in the same way Lily had. It would rip him apart.

"But I am like Lily, Severus." Hermione whispered. "I'm a mudblood."

Severus paled. "No. No, it can't be."

"That's why I'm running, Severus." Hermione slipped out of his arms and backed away as he took in the new information, stunned. "I'm not rich, I'm not a pureblood, I'm a mudblood. My parents are muggles."

"Don't say that," he hissed. "Don't say that word."

"It's the truth," she countered. "You know it. You can tell when I'm lying to you."

"I- I will…" His eyes darted around the room as his mind raced desperately. "I can still-"

"You can't protect me, Severus. I'm a liability. The Dark Lord would never approve of your union to a mud- a muggleborn."

Hermione backed up towards the door. "We're working against each other now. I'm going to protect others like Lily, like me."

"We- we can figure something out." Severus ran a hand through his dark hair, scratching his scalp deeply as he did to calm the mounting pressure in his head. "Together."

She looked at him fleetingly. Longingly. "I do love you Severus, but I can't. I shouldn't."

"No!" She had finally admitted it. She loved him too. "Stay!" Severus darted forward, grabbing her hands and sinking to his knees before her. "Wait to marry me, if you must. We will keep it all a secret. I swear to you, Hermione! I will ensure no one knows of us!"

Her face twisted in agony, clearly wrestling with her own self-control. She wanted this too. She wanted him.

"Not a soul will hear your name and mine together again until you wish it."

"Severus." He could feel her willpower beginning to fold. "Too many people know already. You claimed me publicly, remember?"

"And I will disavow you publicly, as you will me!" He squeezed her hands tightly, bringing one to his cheek, still kneeling before her. "Better my secret than nothing! I would have been your consort alone, taking no pleasure for myself. I will do it now! Hermione, I beg of you."

Hermione crouched and knelt along with him, stroking his face with her hands. She kissed his lips gently.

"That's no way to live, Severus." She said softly. "I can't promise you the future when it could be too long to bear. You deserve to move on and be happy." She closed her eyes and sighed. "There are other women you could love. With time, it can heal."

"Hermione. Hermione, please." She did not listen and kissed his cheek chastely, appearing to have finally made her decision.

She rose slowly and he knew he had lost.

She had no intention of receiving him again, despite loving him, even if he made a convincing argument.

She would leave and be gone.

He would truly have no one.

Severus felt his throat tighten, his heart rapidly speed up, and a rush of adrenaline and magical power surge through his body.

His eyes dilated, his breathing ragged, desperate to keep control and stop this from happening.

He was dying. This was dying.

He would not roll over and die.

"HERMIONE!" He roared. She jumped and turned back, startled by his yell, her hand still on the doorknob to exit.

In only half a second, he leapt up and strode to her. "LEGILIMENS!"

He entered her mind, quickly pressing past the immediate memories and thoughts she had at the outermost regions of familiarity. He felt her gasp as he pressed further and she started to struggle against him mentally, trying to lead him down alternative pathways.

He knew this game, however. He had been on the receiving end of the Dark Lord's mind. He kept pressing.

Severus breathed, trying to calm himself, but his heart was still hammering, and he still felt he was fighting for his life.

As he slowed, he caught a glimpse of a memory she quickly pushed away of her creating an otter patronus. Although this helped- it had not always been a stag, then- his own pleasure at discovering something new kept him from withdrawing.

His own fear was morphing into a desire to hunt. To know. To discover.

He was obsessed now and unable to tear away. He had this same issue with reading spell books, dark charms and curses, potions of dubious intent.

He had to know her just as thoroughly as he knew these dark arts.

He pushed on, perhaps not as cruelly as the Dark Lord would, but with great intent, until he detected fear.

He followed that thread of fear and he saw a younger version of her, laughing and talking with a tall, red-haired boy and James Potter-

He hissed and fell to the floor on his side, head hitting the dusty boards and black spots dancing in front of his eyes. There was a throbbing pain in his groin.

He heard a muffled sob and a noisy pop of apparition before he realized she had kicked him in the balls to get away.

He deserved it.

Why would she ever come back now.