Hello :P It is Wednesday and I am back with a new update. Unlike most of the chapters this month, this one doesn't focus on Jordan and Lynne and instead focuses on James and Jayden, in the time where Misty is in hospital slipping in and out of consciousness after having Baby Rey. In the actual timeline I have, this happens when Jayden is a toddler but for this kind of alternate timeline one, I wanted him to be a little boy (around four) so he and James could have this moment. I'm glad I did. It's kind of long but it deals with a lot of heavy emotion. I hope you enjoy :3
Disclaimer: I own the story and the offspring of the characters :3
I breathed out to myself as the late November ran pitter pattered on the car windows before the drops raced one and other down the glass. It was early morning and it was almost winter so it was expectedly dark. But the situation that had befallen our precious group made the car seem even more engulfed by blackness. It was crazy how quickly things had gone horribly wrong.
Ash and Misty renewed their vows over the summer. That was perfect. Ash and Misty had found out they were expecting a fifth baby. That was amazing. Misty's parents had been present for almost all of the pregnancy. That was delightful. It pains and confuses my heart to say that when the baby was born is when it went horribly wrong. Ash was suddenly hit with the darkness and fear of being a father to this baby and hurting it with problems he had yet to overcome completely. He ran off. He left Misty. She slipped into unconsciousness. She had woken up from the deepest stage of the sleep but she had been in and out of it for weeks. It was heart-breaking. It was draining. But we had to keep going.
So there I was, making a gut wrenching few weeks seem as normal as possible by joining James dropping his son, Jayden, off to school in his car. The lavender haired male at been under strict instructions by his wife – he needed organising in confusing times such as these – to take Jayden to school at normal time and she was going to leave Jaxon with Jayme for the day and drop the twins at school an hour earlier for some rehearsal before driving into the city for a meeting. All James had to do was get up on time and get one child ready for the day and to school. It seems harsh to say he failed but that's what he did. He overslept and his head was all over the place because of the situation with his best friend. He was now frantically driving the young boy off to his place of education.
James looked at his watch before gritting his teeth slightly, checking the roads for any signs of how fast he should be going before putting his foot down. I was in the back with Jayden and aside from a few breaks to watch the raindrops race; I had been watching him the whole time. He looked glumly over at his father from his car seat, swinging his legs.
His father had been miles away but his paternal instinct and good hearing snapped out of it. He breathed out before slowing down, looking at his son in the rear view mirror and smiling bravely.
"What's that face for, huh, buddy?" he asked gently and looked at him before concentrating back on the road. He was doing a good job at driving but most of his thoughts were very much elsewhere.
Jayden refused to speak and pouted even more, swinging his legs and purposely kicking the back of the seat that was in front of him. James rolled his eyes just once before softening again, not blaming the little boy for his gloomy expression.
"I already said I was sorry for being late, buddy." James sighed out and kept his hands on the wheel, his eyes flickering from the road to his son in the mirror. "I was up all night thinking of Misty and I was just falling asleep when the alarm went and… Ugh, you don't need to hear about that. I'm sorry, okay? You'll have a great day at school still, even if I get you there late."
Jayden was a very intelligent child for his age and just knew. He knew things about people from early on, like the way their voice changes when they're about to cry or the things they say when they're trying not to be mad. He knew his father was slowly breaking. He wanted to fix him. But he knew he was too tiny and wouldn't have a clue how to begin.
He started off by giving his father a childlike smile which I knew would automatically give James perspective. He knew that no matter what life threw had him, he had a wife and he had children. He had found happiness. Even if life tried to get in the way of that sometimes.
Jayden smiled and looked at his father with his big green orbs, continuing to swing his legs but not in a bratty way like before and not trying to kick the seat.
"It's fine…" he mumbled and sighed to himself, reaching his hand up to play with his own curls and looking at his father in the mirror. "I'm just not sure I want to go to school today."
James couldn't help but laugh fondly upon hearing this and looked at the road to turn down the correct lane before looking back at him again.
"I don't think everyone always wants to go but it's something you gotta do. Besides, you're a lucky boy going in before morning break. You can play with your friends still and your brother and sister will be there at lunchtime-"
"I don't care." Jayden cut him off but not in a rude way. His eyes had turned sad and his tone had as well. This got both James and I's attention. He slowed down driving again, deciding it was more important to hear about what was troubling his boy rather than getting him to school as early as possible.
Like I said, Jayden was intuitive and knew his father was about to ask him to clarify so he did before he even had to be asked.
"I'm not sure I want to go to school today because I want to be visiting Misty."
I breathed out quietly and glanced at James when the little boy said this. James was glad to have some to traffic lights. As the car came to a half, James breathed out himself and his hand went to play with his mouth. He didn't say anything just yet but his eyes said it all.
He had been living with Misty in the hospital full time for a few weeks now and decided it might be healthier to go back to normal. It was only the second day and things were not going well. He very much wished he could be in two places at once. So many people needed him. And he needed so many people.
James swallowed as the traffic lights changed to amber and got prepared to start up again. As the car started up, so did his emotions and he had to fight for his son not to see the tears brewing in his eyes. He took a deep breath and blinked them back before speaking to him.
"Listen, buddy, you know I'll always be honest with you. There is nothing more I'd love to be doing than sitting with her and trying to distract her from all this mess. But sadly life doesn't halt because things go very wrong. I still have a job to do and a wife to be a husband to and kids to be a father to. And you have school to get to and a kiddie life to live."
Jayden mumbled sadly and looked at his lap, causing both James and ours hearts to almost rip out.
"Misty might not have her life to live if Ash doesn't get back soon."
It was good that that little boy was smart but in times like this, it was painful. He was painfully right. He was so young but he understood death and feared someone he loved so much was heading down that torturous path. It also seemed obvious to him that if James and he being there could save Misty, it was worth doing. Even if they had to be reckless and abandon their own lives for just a little bit.
I could see James driving along in the direction of the school but he was biting his lip and thinking. It would be so easy for him to just turn the car around and head to the hospital. He was seriously thinking about it. He hesitated before glancing in the rear view mirror. His green orbs met a younger version of themselves in Jayden. That look did something to him. He turned the car around. He began driving towards the hospital. The boys were abandoning all responsibility in the hope that they would be able to spread some light to dear Misty and help her to see that life was worth living.
I bit my lip and breathed out slightly as we headed towards the hospital. Jayden was humming to himself and swinging his legs. He wasn't happy but he felt more content knowing he would be trying to help Misty soon. I could tell and I could sense that James was avoiding looking at me. I understood. He was being kind of stupid. But his intentions were good so I couldn't be mad. And I so badly wanted to help Misty too.
It wasn't really their fault but I think sometimes without Ash there to remind them, they forgot that even though I was a Pokémon, I still felt things as deeply as they did. It was breaking me in two seeing my amazing Misty in the state she was. But I had hope. They say hope is just to cover up fear and I don't believe that. But I did believe in her.
Soon enough, we were at the hospital and we were at Misty's side. They say time passes impossibly slow in hospitals but on that particular visit, it sped by. We held Misty's hand as she slept and spoke sweet words to her. We had a cuddle with the baby. Jayden drew Misty a picture. He was now holding it up to her and encouraging her to wake up and see it while I cuddled into her chest, careful not to disturb her tubes.
My eyes filled with tears as my nostrils were filled with her scent. If I shut my eyes, I could picture that everything was fine. She smelled the same way she always did. It was easy for me to just get lost in her scent and imagine we were all at home and together when we should be. I pulled away when my heart began to ache. My eyes were thoroughly washed with tears. When they stopped blurring, they focused on James. There he was, just sat against the wall and staring into space. I couldn't help but stare at him.
I thought I could imagine what he was thinking. I was sure there were so many thoughts whizzing around his head. He wanted to be strong. He wanted to protect all. He wanted to fix all for everybody. But this was one of the hardest moments in one's life where no matter how hard you try; sometimes the universe is powerful and undoes everything you try to do. It is times like these that we must remain calm and hopeful. No matter how tight a knot gets, it can always be untangled. You just have to find a way. And you have to have the energy and the patience to work at it until you get the result you want.
I was lost in thought and wondering what depth that man might be thinking when suddenly from his pocket, his phone rang. Jayden jumped and dropped his painting. I jumped and almost fell off Misty. James jumped slightly but other than that, barely reacted. He was numb. The nurses had warned us that it was Misty who may be slowly dying but it seemed to me that James was already dead. He was a robot. Just doing his best and hoping for the best.
He breathed out and looked more alive when he saw the name on his phone before groaning when he saw the time. It was past two o clock and Jayden was not at school. It was past two o clock and James hadn't showed to the meeting. It was past two and here we were in the hospital, trying to urge somebody to live in a building that so many people lost their lives in.
I bit my lip and watched as James answered the call from his wife and put her on loudspeaker. He leaned against the wall, his face remaining blank as he prepared for what was to come but his eyes lighting up slightly. She took him to a whole other place. Even though he knew he was going to be in trouble and had every right to be so.
He breathed out and held the phone in one hand, tucking a loose bit of hair behind his ear with his other hand as he greeted her.
"Hello, Jessie." He mumbled before looking at the ceiling, preparing for the telling off or the lecture he knew he deserved.
As soon as she spoke, everyone could sense the lingering frustration in her voice. But she barely raised it. She remained shakily calm and in a disappointed way. I think that was more hurtful to James than if he had been yelled at.
"Oh, don't you 'hello, Jessie' me." Was all she said at first, making it completely obvious that she had a bone to pick with him and was not happy with her husband.
James barely reacted at first but when he did, it surprised me compared the mood he had been in the rest of the visit. He smirked slightly and shut his eyes. I wondered what made him decide to be jokey and sassy in that moment.
"Why can't I say hello and use your name? That is you, isn't it, Jess? I guess maybe I can't tell it's you because you're not yelling."
He continued smirking to hide what was truly going on in his mind and I knew Jessie was definitely on the other side. There was quite the long silence. Jayden was too busy cuddling Misty to notice while I held my breath slightly. The only other noise was the clock on the wall ticking. After a few moments, the magenta haired female spoke once again, still using the shaky tone with underlying annoyance.
"Oh believe me, James, I would love to be yelling at you right now." She exhaled sharply, causing James to open one eye before shrugging, shutting it again. He let her continue. "So I'm wondering where my husband is this entire meeting and I get out for the break halfway and see I have a missed call. There I am thinking it must be the man I married but no. I find out our son never showed up to school when it was my damn husband's responsibility. What are you playing at, James? I know you. He's fine but you didn't take him to school."
I breathed out and swallowed, looking over at James but he didn't look over at me. His eyes were now open and he sat further up but he wasn't saying anything. Jessie was good. She really did know him. She could suss him out completely. She gritted her teeth when he didn't speak, letting out a despairing noise.
"Explain yourself, James. The last time you text me you said you were getting him to school for morning break and given the circumstances, that was fine with me. But this isn't fine. He can't miss a full school day when he is fine to go in. I know everything else is falling apart but our son's education cannot. You must understand that, James."
With each sentence she spoke and with each time she said his name, James began to look even more so like a vulnerable school boy himself. He sniffed quietly and put the phone down on the floor, pulling his legs to his chest. He just wanted to help his best friend, whatever the cost. He knew he was stupid and he knew he was risky but I knew he just couldn't do nothing. The pain of witnessing her not waking up at his stupid jokes was better than the pain of not doing anything and potentially losing her. I knew he was thinking the same things as I was. Tears were filling in his green orbs, though he was doing his best to swallow them.
Jessie had gotten irritated at the last silence but she had said everything that needed to be said so now she just breathed out worriedly. She had been caught up in this situation just as much as James but she had different responsibilities than him. They also dealt with things very differently.
She breathed out and tucked her own hair behind her ear from the other end, speaking to him in the same calm voice but now had underlying concerned tones rather than frustrated.
"James…" she said his name, causing a tear to roll down his cheek which he left to just drip onto his shirt. "I'm not that mad at you, James. I'm not that mad, I'm just-"
"You're disappointed." James finished for her and despite the tears spilling out his cheeks, he was smirking slightly again and leaning against the wall. "I didn't realise I was speaking to Jordan."
I smiled myself upon hearing this and I knew Jessie was too. I imagined her narrowing her blue orbs fondly. If he could see her, I think James would feel less alone and vulnerable. But her voice was good enough for him.
"No, I'm not disappointed. Well, I guess I was and I was a bit mad but now I'm relieved. Yeah, now I'm just relieved."
James blinked slightly upon hearing this and that action caused the tears to get stuck in his eye lashes. He wiped his eyes before lifting the phone back up off the floor and holding it in his hand, wanting her voice to be closer to him.
"You're relieved? Really?" he asked somewhat doubtfully and I continued listening to the two from cuddling into Misty's chest.
"Really, James. I'm relieved." She stated simply before breathing out, getting a little deeper with her former partner in crime. "I know you, James. I know you went to the hospital to see Misty with Jayden. And that relieves me. Because I can tell you're going crazy with worry and exhaustion and sometimes you're not acting yourself but I still know who you are. I know you. I really do know you."
James' green orbs softened upon hearing this and as each minute went past, he seemed to look more alive than he had before. He really needed people. I knew he was good alone but with other people he was the best. He thrived off others and he helped them shine too. He sighed out lovingly, tucking his hair back behind his ear when it untucked and fell over his face.
"Well, I guess that's something that makes us - us. We always know who each other are, even if we don't ourselves. We always see past things and get to the truth."
I imagined Jessie nodding and smiling from the other side but then I grew worried when I heard her sigh. James furrowed his own brow and sat up upon hearing this, worried himself. She soon clarified.
"This just sucks for me, James. I can see that you're working your butt off and trying to fix things for everyone but I get upset because no one else is fixing you. I mean I try to but I can only help you if you want to be helped. And you're acting like you can't be helped and you don't deserve to be. You're the fixer but sometimes the fixer needs fixing too."
James clenched his jaw upon hearing this and he didn't say anything but we all knew once again she had hit the nail on the head. She breathed out, speaking carefully to her husband.
"I know you. I can tell what's going on with you with the words you choose not to say, I always have. This is killing you. But I can stop it from killing you. So just admit you need some help and let me help you."
James breathed out upon hearing this and he held the phone tight in his hand. He glanced at Misty before a tear slid quicker down his cheek than I ever had before. He finally emotionally admitted to his wife.
"I do need help. I wish more than anything I could be with you full time and I could be with Misty and the baby full time. I wish I was here, I wish I was there. When I'm with you, I feel guilty and think I should be with Misty. When I'm with Misty, I feel lost and I need to be with you."
I smiled sadly as I watched and I listened to Jessie and James figure a few things out that would help the situation but more importantly help James. We knew he'd always feel deeply but we wanted his vision to be clear so he doesn't accidentally drive to the hospital instead of his son's school.
After Jessie and James hung up and said goodbye to one and other, he just sat back in the same position he had been sitting in before the phone rang and I feared the universe had already begun to unravel what they sorted. I didn't need to worry.
Jayden lifted his head from burying into Misty's stomach and blinked at his father. James smiled bravely at his son and gave him a small thumbs up.
"Don't worry, buddy. Daddy's okay. I just gotta figure out what to do now. I'm not entirely sure."
James shut his eyes and I saw Jayden contemplate something. I was sure he had been busy during his parent's conversation but it was at that moment it was proved otherwise. He left his painting with Misty and kissed her forehead before making his way over to his father. James opened one eye and Jayden held his hand out to him.
"That's okay. I know what to do. It's too late to go to school now we're gonna pick Jazzy and Justin up and head home together. Then when we're all together, we can cuddle on the sofa and watch a movie. Me and you can draw pos-tive pictures for Misty. Kay?"
There were tears in James' eyes and all he could do was smile and nod, his eyes shining with tears and pride. He held onto his son's hand and soon enough, the skies outside had cleared and we were all heading to the car together. James didn't speak a word of gratitude to his son but the way he looked at him and held his hand said it all.
Jayden smiled like a child up at his father and held his hand tight. His next words made me certain he had been listening intently to what his parents were saying.
"You said you needed help. So that's what I'm gonna give you. Kay?"
Once again, James was filled with emotion and he couldn't do anything but smile tearfully at his son and ruffle his locks. Seeing the assurance in that little boy's face did something for me that day.
He made me believe, by just being his sweet and encouraging self and I believe the faith that all of the little ones showed us helped Misty to wake up and life to get back on track and like it was meant to be. You can only get children from adults but I firmly believe that adults need children. Not only to carry on the generation but to carry the purity and positivity that was once in all of our hearts. That wonder and that hope gets lost along the way somewhere but we need to do our best to fight it. Fight the expectations. Fight the labels. Fight the ignorance. Fight the hate. Fight everything life throws at you with everything you've got. Stick together and love one other. Learn from a child. They may be a lot smaller than some of us but their hearts and brains are the same size, if not bigger. You just have to give them a chance. A chance to open our eyes wider and see the world for the wonder it is, regardless of if it is painful and trying at times. It truly is a fantastic place to be and I wouldn't want to share my time on this planet with anybody but the people I call my family.
The End.
There you go! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed :3 My mum caught me tearing up a little after reading over this so it must have struck a chord with emotions that I've dealt with :P I'm pretty pleased seeing as I don't think I've written a story so completely dedicated to dark emotions before. Jayden is definitely a little sweetheart and like I said, James really needs his loved ones to pull through. He can do stupid things when his head is a mess but his intentions are always good. Him just being him and the sweet husband, father and friend he is is always something I love writing about :3 Thanks again and I will be back on the 28th to update Dear Darlings so see you then!
AmyBieberKetchum signing out :3