Hello :P It is Wednesday and I am back to upload a new chapter. This one was actually heartbreaking for me to read through. I wrote it way back in May and have been meaning to upload it for so long but I didn't realise how heavy it got. This tackles a sad time in the group. The death of James' Nanny, Josie. It also tells about how he and Lynne's second child - a son - comes into the world. I hope you enjoy, even though it might be the saddest one I've ever written!
Disclaimer: I own the story and the OC's mentioned. I will also add a warning because this chapter heavily focuses on death. So if that's a sensitive subject for you, turn back now!
I breathed out bravely to myself as my eyes scanned the room and I couldn't help but feel like this was one of the most peculiar days of my life. It was contradictory. It was uneven. It was unbalanced. The Morgan Mansion was filled with a variety of emotions and joys and aches that day. Just a few doors away from the room a good chunk of us were in, new life was about to be brought into the world. Lynne Williams was about to bring her second child with James Morgan into the world and it was thrilling. But tragedy had also struck.
James' Grandmother, Josie Morgan, was always a remarkable woman of remarkable health. She was one of a kind. Like her grandson, she was quirky and stubborn in her own way and full of life. But about a month ago she had a sudden decline and was now bed ridden. Doctors believed it was the beginning of the end. Everybody in our group was fearful and emotional that we would lose such a bright soul. James was fine. Of course he was. He had been pushing it away. He had a new-born son arriving. He had a focus. That baby was now coming. And Josie was perhaps going. But still, he kept a smile on his face and a spring in his step. It was truly astounding.
I turned my attention and glanced back to nowhere where Noah had been sat at his wife's bedside for days on end and it seemed like his hand hadn't been unlinked from hers for even a moment. They were young sweethearts. They were yet another definition of love in our group. James took after his grandfather but not recently. Noah's heart was clearly breaking. But he never stopped smiling at the love of his life. Even when his dark green orbs filled with tears.
Josie managed a smile at her husband and hummed weakly to herself, clearly almost contented but most definitely touched at how many people had been visiting her. Even now, as her grandson's angel lady was in the middle of labour, people prioritised her and wanted to see her for perhaps one last time. She patted Noah's hand before letting out a shaky breath.
"Get me my boy." She ordered but in the furthest from impolite way as she wriggled in her bed, clearly wanting to get up and move but being unable to. Instead, she focused all her might on getting words out. "I need know how Lynne is."
As they had done many times in the space that I had been sat near Noah, his eyes filled with tears once again but he remained smiling. He gave his wife's hand a gentle and fond pat before he nodded his head. He was about to shyly speak when another shy male did instead.
It was Jordan. It was sweet and sensitive Jordan. Despite what he had done all those years ago, he found the subject of death deeply painful. Josie was like a grandmother to him also. He reminded her so much of her grandson that she couldn't help but dote on the massive man as soon as she met him. He was shown such love and kindness by her and he knew he could never thank her enough with words.
But he was showing how grateful and honoured he was to have had her in his life by remaining brave for them all and spending large amounts of time next to her even while his wife was in labour. I was so moved and proud of him.
He shyly stood up and gave Josie a wave of the hand so she was encouraged to hazily glance in his direction. When he believed she was looking, he spoke while running a hand through his yellow locks.
"I'll go send James in here instead of me." He uttered in his gentle voice before giving her a nod of the head like her husband had done earlier. He soon gave her a brave and playful smirk as he moved across the room to head out. "I guess I should see how that wife of mine is doing with a baby exiting her."
Josie Morgan didn't have the energy in those moments for a smile but the way her eyes lit up said it all. She loved him so very much – almost as much as her own grandson. She just didn't understand why he had been given such a rough time in life. She didn't care about the demons he faced inside. She wanted to look after him. And for years, that's exactly what she had done. She had looked after him with a pie to fatten him up and arms around his muscular chest. She was the best. She was the definition of heaven truly gaining an angel when she passed on.
Jordan was deeply quiet but for some reason, the room grew even quieter when he left. Noah's fingers gently traced along the freckles on his wife's hand as he did his best to hold himself together. Jessie and James' twins, Jazmyn and Justin sat in the corner of the room, softly engaging in conversation with each other but their minds and heart wandering to their beloved family member. I stayed seated by the window, positivity longing to be produced in my brain but for once having a horrible sinking feeling in my stomach.
I badly wanted things to go right today but I feared that they could not. I didn't want it to be that bittersweet situation of one person coming into the world and another one leaving but I ached with the possibility that it could indeed be.
My heart was tearing up but before my eyes could, James came walking into the room while running a hand through his shorter and mature hair. I looked at him. I really looked at him. He seemed to not have a care in the world. He was glowing with love that the second lady he loved was giving life into the world for him. His lovely paternal dreams were being fulfilled. It really was the time of his life. Because he was blocking out something deeply realistic with all of his might.
He passed his twins on the way and gave them a squeeze on the shoulder each that showed somewhere inside he knew of a possible outcome before focusing on his dear grandmother. He passed his grandfather on the way also but I could see his hand was trembling at this point and couldn't touch him.
The lavender haired male moved to stand at Josie's bedside and he reached to tenderly stroke her shoulder, causing her head to gradually swing round to face her grandson.
"Hey Nanny." He uttered, simply and softly and in a way that he had done millions of times throughout his entire life. He was looking at her with the same eyes. He was stroking her with the same warmth. It's a funny thing that the eyes usually are the thing that tell the truth but on that particular day, James' eyes showed contentment. His eyes showed love. His eyes showed peace.
For once, it was his body that was giving his bottled up pain away. His hands were slightly paler than normal yet flushed in certain places. They were also trembling. And his lips seemed dry with constant licking them. But it took someone who really knew him to notice this.
Josie normally would have done but she was preparing herself for a bigger journey ahead. She smiled hazily but lovingly up at her grandson, her beautifully wise blue eyes staring up at him with all the gentle pride in the world. I thought her mouth was about to say the words that her eyes wanted to say before her head jerked in the direction of her husband. Automatically he understood.
"Yes, we'll all give you two a minute." Noah mumbled achingly but acceptingly, carefully standing up in his chair and not even having to signal for his great grandchildren to leave as they too knew. They bustled off to see how long it was until their new half sibling entered the world.
Unlike his grandson's eyes, Noah's were telling the truth and I could see as clear as day that he understood James and she needed a moment alone but he felt really uneasy leaving her. Nonetheless, he gave them both that shy and whiskery yet handsome now and back in his day smile. He was going through such deep pain but he had a twinkle in eye and shared Jordan's humour as he headed off.
"Maybe Lynne's favourite Morgan man can help get that child on its way out, eh?" he joked bravely but I could hear his last word of that sentence crack in his throat as soon as he stepped out of the room.
I noticed that. I doubted that James did. And I was unsure whether Josie did or not. She stayed looking up at James with all the love in the world. She knew him more than anyone. She might as well have been his mother. He knew by the way that her fingers twitched that she wanted to touch his face. He carefully bent down to her level and tenderly held her elderly hand to his cheek. He remained smiling.
"James…" she almost gurgled softly and shut her eyes but, although they were shut, they were still bursting with the same light and love as when they had been open. She paused for some minutes and took a long breath before speaking again. "My knight in shimmering armour."
The lavender haired male was supressing so many emotions that he didn't even know they were there but, despite that, he was not numb. He reacted with shock and shy gratitude when he heard his grandmother's words. He wrinkled his nose slightly before pressing a careful kiss to her other hand.
"Don't you mean shining?" he mumbled, his thumb delicately stroking where his lips had been before allowing her to cup his face in both of her hands.
She didn't shake her head but her now open blue orbs showed that she knew exactly what she was talking about. She remained silent before once again, speaking after a little respite.
"Shimmering." She muttered simply but certainly before using the feel of her grandson's warm cheeks against her hands to give her the energy to speak from her heart. "Shimmering. You shimmer and you glow. You have since you were tiny. Full of such love. And that love that you gave finally made its way back to you."
I nodded my head in agreement and my eyes threatened to prick with tears when I heard Josie's words. I breathed out. It was a blessing and a curse that I was a Pokémon. It was a curse that I had been forgotten and Noah didn't even think about ushering me to leave the room but he was going through internal agony to I didn't hold a fraction of a grudge. But it was a blessing because I always seemed to find myself in such tender moments of sincerity.
James' upbringing and life in general had been a blessing and a curse, pretty much like every life on this planet.
He had been subjected to such controlling and cold ways as a child but as an adult, he was thriving with every type of love you could think of. Loving people made him thrive. Being loved made him thrive. Bringing life into the world with Lynne did both of those things. He was thriving there and then. Even though his grandmother was not.
James was deeply touched by his Nanny's loving words and he shook his head with gratitude towards her before wrinkling his nose playfully after kissing her hand again.
"I should have known you only called me in here to get updates on my girl." He uttered and soon laughed when her eyes didn't even bother denying this now her intention of saying sweet words to him had been delivered. James sighed fondly but didn't hesitate to talk about his angel lady in labour.
"You know Lynne, Nanny, she's doing absolutely great. Barely complaining. Carrying on as normal and sewing baby clothes for his arrival. This lady is a lot better at birthing than my other one, let me tell you that." He smirked fondly, causing his grandmother's eyes to light up even more. In the silence that she took to gather her words again, I thought to myself.
Josie Morgan really was a special lady of her age. There she was in bed and 86 years old but possessing the pure and accepting eyes of a child. Her grandson was there in front of her with all his flaws and all his past mistakes and all his skin inkings and a love from above but she was accepting it all.
She loved him. She accepted him. And she loved accepting. Learning new things made her feel young. And it's because she was so warm and open minded that it would be a shock for everybody when she was no longer around. She had the body of an elderly person but the mind full of childlike wonder and possibilities. With people like her around, it wasn't any wonder that James had turned into the quirky and lovable soul he was.
"I'm so happy." I heard her mutter with a truthful sigh which caused my attention go back to them both and I saw her hands return to her grandson's cheeks. "Such love you've received. So deserved."
James shook his head and breathed out, forcing his brain not to wander to his parents in a time such as the present he was in. He had his grandmother singing his praises and a new-born son on the way. So why was he thinking of them? He hated it while I knew why.
It was because he cared. Even if you screw James Morgan over, some part of him will want to forgive and forget. He didn't allow himself to but some part of his heart wanted him too. He always somehow found a reason as to why somebody should be kept in his life. He was one of a kind. And his grandmother knew it.
I turned my attention back and I could see that this simple thought of his parents had almost caused the emotional dam to burst. He did his best to suppress it. He almost completely succeeded. He let out a shaky breath and gave Josie a smile but his eyes were starting to slowly tell the truth.
"The love I've been lucky enough to receive has caused a brand new little boy to be on his way. I can't wait for you to meet him. We still don't have a name but we both agree that as soon as we see him, we'll know. I can't wait for you to meet him. I really think it's not along until pushing time. I really can't wait for you to meet him. I-"
"James." Josie croaked out, and in her almost day-dream like state she was able to see her grandson's emotions bubbling and brewing and threatening to burst. I had known all along that she might not live long enough to meet that little boy. Now it was apparent she knew too. But James was in denial. From her simply calling his name there, he knew she was trying to tell him that she had to go. He wasn't hearing any of it.
"No." he muttered simply and with the same gentleness that she had said his name as he stroked her fingers. "You're going to meet him, you hear me? Not long now until my brand new son will be in your arms. You've held all of my kids. You're not missing out on this one."
Josie's eyes shone up at her grandson with the passion of his speech but her expression was mixed. It seemed to me that one eye was showing pride that he felt so strongly about this but the other was pure emotion and pain. She hoped that she could hold on to make one more wish of his come true. She was a positive lady. But this felt unlikely, even to her.
She continued staring up at James with watery eyes as she used all her energy once again on speaking. She sniffed and even managed to shake her head.
"Look at you, boy, look at you. He was such a pessimist. Now he's the most positive in the house."
James quickly wiped a tear in his eye before it had the chance even to fall and he sniffed in that introverted stubborn way of his.
"I'm not sure I was ever a pessimist and I'm even less sure I'm an optimist now. I'm a realist. And it's reality that you're going to hold my boy." He muttered before his voice wavered and his supressed emotions and doubt began to spill out. His heart was aching but his heart told the truth. That's all you can ever do. "Jessie made me dream and Lynne made me believe. They both taught me to love life. And you taught me to live. How can I completely doubt the world when I have you wonders in my life?"
"James…" Josie repeated his name once again but this time it was filled with emotion and pain and somehow everything she wanted to say. She just kept him near to her and as her eyes looked into, they said everything that she wanted to say.
My eyes were growing sleepy with such heavy words and times that I had witnessed all day but I was glad to have seen that shared look between Nanny Josie and Grandson James. He had been a blessing in her life as soon as he had come into it. He was a funny and shy little boy but his heart was massive.
He was now a quirky and warm grown man and his heart was even bigger. And it made her and her husband's hearts bigger because of it. They had been so disappointed when their son hadn't seemed to listen to the lessons they taught him and chose a path of shallowness. But with James, there had been a fresh start. With James, they felt like they did something right. She had always done her best to make him into a good man. He was a good man because of her guidance but he was also a good man because he was himself. And she told him that.
The lavender haired man was about to bravely utter more emotional words back when cries could be heard from all over the house. He carefully dropped his grandmother's hands and his head snapped up. He knew.
"It's time." He muttered and I could almost feel his heart beginning to pound with anticipation from there before he pressed a lingering kiss to Josie's forehead. His eyes didn't leave the sight of her all the while that he headed out. Deep down, I knew. Deep down, he knew. Deep down, I knew he knew.
"Soon, Nanny, soon." He mumbled to her before darting down the hall to one of the many rooms in the mansion where Lynne was about to push their son into the world. "It's time!"
We both heard these simple words and on a rare occasion, we shared a look. That time, we both new. It was indeed time. But it was time for something the complete opposite of what James was heading off to witness. I was about to get my last rays of the winter sun and get ready to jump onto her bed as carefully as I could to keep her company when Noah came shuffling back in.
His eyes were red and puffy and he came from round the corner. He had most likely been listening and crying in. This hurt my heart. But Josie's soared at the sight of her husband. In that moment, she couldn't help but feel her grandson's hope.
"It's time." She mumbled weakly to the grey haired male, referring to the birth that was about to happen in that very house but his eyes widened and filled with emotion. In her declining state, she still couldn't help but smirk and squeeze her husband's fingers. "Baby time. I want you to go. I want you to tell me everything."
Noah had only just recovered from fearing he had only minutes left with his sweetheart and he seemed hesitant. But soon enough, he couldn't help but smile seeing hers. He softly and tenderly kissed her knuckles.
"I'll tell you everything." He mumbled sincerely, pressing yet another lingering kiss to her hand and accidentally dripping a tear on her skin. "I'll dart in and out of here so frequently to watch and see you that you'll think I'm young again." He joked and tried to ignore his tears beginning to slide but he met his wife's eyes and couldn't lie.
Her own eyes were big and blue and questioning and her head was tilted slightly on one side. She was asking why he was so sad. She didn't want him to be sad. Even then.
He sniffed and gave her a brave smile, kissing her skin for the third time but leaving his tear to sink in against her as he took the longest time to let go of her hand.
"I heard everything about James deserving love." He admitted, his own breathing shaky like his wife's but for different reasons. "I of course couldn't help but think of you. I thought about you and our love and everything we've seen and shared and been through. You're my sweetheart and I just love you so much, Josie."
The sweet old man was almost very much a wreck and I was too realising that although she was on her way out and that was scary enough for her, he was going to have to see life without his sweetheart. I wasn't sure if he even remembered life before her.
Noah was close to breaking down but Josie put all her strength into squeezing his hand to stop him.
She shut her eyes but, like before, her light sincerity shone out of her peaceful and closed eyelids.
"I love you too, Noah." She mumbled with truthful love before her mouth quirked into a heart-warming smirk. "But only if you see that baby come into this world and tell me everything."
Josie had asked her Noah to do something so of course he delivered. He left the room and went and saw his great grandson be born. He kept darting in and out like he promised. He sent someone else in and out to check also when he was witnessing the wonder of birth. I darted in and out myself and after the sweet baby had been born, I found myself quite exhausted.
It had been a draining day and as everybody was wrapping the little boy to come and meet his great grandmother, I found myself falling asleep. That was one of the biggest disappointments of my life. I fell asleep. I didn't even dream. I barely even remember what happened or how it happened so that's why I knew it didn't have to happen. I woke up to the sharp clash of Dylan suddenly entering the room. I didn't realise at the time but he had obviously snuck out of the other room while the latest Morgan-Williams baby was being swaddled for the first time.
He sucked on his middle finger and tiptoed across the room quite comically and dramatically. His hand dropped quickly from his mouth to his side when he reached her bedside and everything seemed to go slow motion from then on. He ran a hand through his locks before carefully poking her shoulder.
"Josie." He mumbled, his voice gentle and childlike before calling her name louder in an attempt to wake the 'sleeping' family member. "Josie." He called again and a little louder and poking her with more gusto each time he said her name.
After quite a few tries of calling her real name and poking her, Dylan let out a humming noise of confusion and rhythmically patted his head. I was still frozen. I didn't want this to be happening to such a precious little boy.
The dark purple haired male bit his bottom lip before licking it, leaning closer to her and whispering to her as if it was almost a secret that he knew he could call her something else.
"Nana." He whispered, his voice low and soft before his brow furrowed and he stopped doing such a gentle approach. "Nana, wake uppppppp!" he called to her, the last word he spoke in various tones that no doubt had probably reached all over the house. I was still frozen. And apparently so they all were. Frozen yet softened with love for a new infant.
It was in these moments that I was thinking of such a tragedy that had indeed happened that Dylan's eyes began to prick with tears. He patted his head with great fear and anger at himself as his shoulders began to shake emotionally.
"Nana! Stop it now!" he cried desperately and tugged on his own hair. He cried one more time before darting out of the room. "Stooop!"
As he darted out of the room with so many broken emotions for such a broken little boy and I stayed pathetically frozen was horror, James suddenly came running into the room. He collided with his grandson but despite his frantic emotion of when he heard Dylan, he bumped into him softly.
The unique eye coloured little boy recoiled anyway and looked up at him with the roundest orbs in the world. It was at that moment that James knew. It was at that moment that his entire world came crashing down. He too froze. He too was paralysed. He too was desperate. But he didn't know what to do.
He didn't know how to react. He knew what had happened without even glancing in his grandmother's reaction. His nanny was gone. The person he had turned to for everything. The person who was more like a mother to him than anyone else. The person that didn't care who he was or what he did with his life and just wanted him to be truly and utterly happy. She was gone. And because she was gone, he could feel himself slipping away. He didn't know what to do. The only muscle of his that seemed to move was his mouth as it brokenly and wordlessly hung open.
If James didn't know what to do, how could Dylan? But he somehow knew what to do. This boy was so complex and quirky and a delight and in that moment, he read a situation perfectly. He threw his arms around his grandfather's waist and held onto him tighter than he had ever held a person. James sank to the floor and clung to him. He sobbed loudly and intermittently and visibly shattered in front of myself and Dylan and everyone who rushed in hearing the noise.
The next few months were hell for James to say the least. He had lost one of the biggest parts of his identities and the love that he had held closely in his heart his entire childhood. He had indeed felt a huge part of himself leave when Josie did. But that hug between Dylan and James did something remarkable.
Somehow as that eight year old boy held onto his grandfather, James knew that he was going to have to face some of the biggest pains of his life. But also, somehow was that little boy held onto him, he was given the strength to carry on and tackle his grief with the loving heart his grandmother had given it. Dylan had done something for his grandfather that James would never be able to explain with words. And as for the newborn little boy – Johnny as he had later been named – something even more incredible happened with him.
Dylan had given James the strength to face life without his Nanny but she came back in many ways. She came back when she visited as an angel like Jordan and Lynne. And she also came back in Johnny. A huge part of her soul had been given to him. They never got to meet on the day he was born. And although that day resulted in great emotional conflictions for James, Lynne and us all, I knew he loved nothing more than the fact that Johnny and Josie were one of a kind. They had been entwined in a more exceptional way than any of us could think of.
And because of that, he got to kiss a part of his Nanny goodnight every night and see a different glimpse of her wake up each morning.
The End.
There you go! Thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed even though it was pretty sad. I don't believe I wrote that heavily about death when I did Professor Oak's one so this was heavy for me to read through. And I feel kinda sad even though of course I'll be writing about Josie again! This isn't the last time she'll appear :P So James and Lynne's son - Johnny - is born on the same day that Josie dies. I'll definitely write more surrounding that because it deeply affects his character. Thanks again and I will be back next Wednesday so see you then!
AmyBieberKetchum signing out :3