Hello :P It is Wednesday and I am back with a new chapter. As the title suggests, this one is about Ash and Gary and it's pretty funny that out of all the things I've written about and the things I've come up with, I don't think I've properly written a chapter focusing on those two characters. But I finally did it and this was completely unplanned. I was making up scenarios in my head and this just came to me. It was a bit of a tricky one to write and it was a challenge getting the moods and dynamics right but I'm pretty pleased with it. I hope you enjoy!
Ages:
Ash: 30
Gary: 31
Disclaimer: I own the story and any OCs mentioned :3
Out of the corner of my eye, I watched my best friend sit unhappily on the sofa, feeling a knot in my stomach growing more prominent as each second passed. I swallowed, my pupils flickering between him and the fire place to not make it too obvious that I was studying him so heavily. I wasn't embarrassed, of course; I never worried about caring too much. But I did worry about Ash. And I cared about him too, more than I could ever put into words. That was the reason that my gaze was flickering, you see. I didn't want him to see me watching him and be put into an even worse mood. Though at that point, that didn't really seem possible.
I continued watching him, my eyes focusing on him for longer periods the more times that I glanced at him before looking away again. I still felt that lump in my stomach but I felt something else too. For some odd and strange reason, I felt a smirk threatening to take over my face. The knotted feeling of my belly almost mixed with a twinge of laughter in the pit of my stomach. I didn't know why. Perhaps it was nervousness. Or perhaps I knew it was because my best friend would be alright in the end. Either way, I felt the strange urge to laugh. And eventually, I put it down to how truly sour his expression was.
My most definitely adult raven haired best friend had a firm frown fixed on his forehead and as he sat with his spine slumped against the back of his sofa, one of his legs draped over the other one. And the foot that was placed on the ground was tapping. It wasn't tapping rhythmically. It was tapping inconsistently and it was tapping loudly.
Even though I felt bed for almost smirking in case something was truly the matter, I still couldn't help it. He was very much a grown man. But he was acting like his pre-teen son when he was in one of his moods. I shook my head fondly and shook my smirk away too. I still felt it in my stomach but I hid it well. I began to sidle up to my best friend to get him to tell me his woes but before he could do that, someone invited himself into the Ketchum household and let himself into the living room. It was Gary.
Ash didn't even need to turn his head to know who had entered his household and based on the time period, it was very odd when he acted the way that he did. It was even odder than my urge to smirk. As soon as my best friend heard the footsteps and the nonchalant humming of his supposed best friend, his expression turned even moodier. His back arched as if in defensiveness. His frown took over even more of his face. He was not a happy bunny. He was not a happy man.
"Greetings, Ketchum." The auburn haired Pokémon Professor greeted his childhood rival and best friend, not hesitating to come and help himself to a seat on the sofa next to him. Like the raven haired male opposite him, he folded one leg over the other. He looked at Ash, still smirking casually. "I thought you'd be busy helping those young trainers sharpen their skills."
I looked at Gary as Ash shrugged. I found him to be such a complicated fellow for some reason. He was most definitely not an introvert and he was pretty easy for other people to read but I didn't think so. I shrugged to myself as well. I guess I had known him as a ten year old child and I knew him as an egotistical kid and a prideful trainer and then a more mature Pokémon Researcher. And then of course, he had changed in leaps and bounds after settling into a relationship and having children. He was a nice guy. He was. His words to the raven haired male were said with lightness and friendliness.
But my best friend's brain and body, for some reason, reacted to them in a way like he would have done when he too was ten years old. He grew almost defensive. His walls began to go up. He shrugged a second time, barely looking at the slightly older male.
"I'll get back to it later. Don't I deserve a lunch break?" he spoke to the Pokémon Researcher and after he said the second part of his words, he gave Gary a slight look and an eyebrow raise. The auburn haired male was very used to my best friend and completely unfazed and gave the same look back. But for once, he kept his mouth shut. You could see his jaw getting almost ready to speak but he stopped himself before a sentence popped into his mind. He thought to himself without even looking at his watch.
He knew that it was way past lunch time at that point. He was going to remind Ash of this but he stopped himself for a second time. He tilted his head on one side as he continued thinking to himself. I had known Gary since he was ten years old but Gary had known Ash almost all of his life. He knew him basically more than anyone, not that he ever told his friend this in an affectionate way. Gary realised that Ash's words were plausible. It was very much past lunch time but it was the Pokémon Master after all. Other than being very eager to train and learn and teach, he was also highly eager to eat.
So Gary decided to let his best friend's very few words go and he continued talking himself. At that point, I couldn't tell if he'd noticed Ash's ever growing sour expression towards him and in general. I was left guessing for a few more moments.
The auburn haired Pokémon Professor ran his fingers through his locks and he leaned further back against the Ketchum sofa. Ash continued not looking at him.
"So what have you been teaching the young ones today then? Actually before you tell me, I've being doing some research that I think you'll find interesting and maybe you could inform the little ones. Did you know-"
"No, I did not." Ash surprisingly (or perhaps unsurprisingly, depending on your perspective) interrupted the Junior Professor Oak and stopped tapping his leg to fold his arms over his chest instead. I secretly let out a breath of relief. I loved my best friend but it was starting to get annoying. The raven haired male looked at the slightly older male after his interjection and his moody teenager-like face expressed no remorse. He waved his gloveless hand. "Or maybe I did. Who knows? But honestly, I really don't want to know. My head is far too full right now."
The latter part of our best friend's words could have potentially given us something to think about but because he said his words so moodily and, I'll gladly admit it, rudely, we skipped right over his momentary vulnerability. After Ash looked back down at his lap and lightly clenched his jaw, Gary didn't hesitate to call him out on his actions. His own arms folded over his chest.
"Well that was rude." He told him openly and after he was only met with a shrug, Gary started to get mildly irritated. His own jaw lightly clenched and he moved forward off the sofa to give his best friend a proper look. His head remained tilted on one side. He shook his head slightly. "If you're going to be so honest then I'll be honest and admit that I only came here because someone told me you were being moody and a pain in the ass."
It hurt my feelings when, upon hearing Gary's words, Ash stopped looking at his lap and looked right at me with questioning orbs. I backed away innocently and heavily denied it with a squeak and a shake of my head. The auburn haired Pokémon Professor's own eyes went to me and after looking annoyed at his old rival, his eyes softened for me. His arms unfolded. He shrugged.
"Sorry about him, Pikachu. I don't know what's gotten into him. I-"
"Him? Him?" the raven haired Pokémon Master repeated part of Gary's words and he finally peeled his eyes off from looking betrayed at me to look indignantly at the auburn haired male. He too moved further out of his seat. As well as being moody, he was also beginning to get fired up. "You don't have to talk about me like I'm not here."
Like his raven haired best friend was, Gary was very quick to respond. But unlike the slightly younger male, his words and his tone were somehow much cooler. He was far more collected. But then again, he would have been. He didn't have a secret weight weighing on his mind.
"I know you're here, Ash, and you're acting as annoying as you did when we were kids." Gary retorted calmly and he ran a hand through his slightly shorter auburn locks which only irritated my best friend all the more. I couldn't help but swallow. I really began to feel like I had taken a time warp into the past.
My best friend was acting like he did when he was a child. And I didn't know why. Even I didn't know why. And Gary didn't either. But he couldn't help but add. "I know you've only just pretty recently said goodbye to your darkness crap but do you really have to go round acting like a jerk?"
That time I swallowed even more roughly when I heard Gary's words. My best friend's cheek jerked like he'd been slapped but other than that, he didn't react for a few moments. The auburn haired Pokémon Professor did, however. He reacted subtly but I could see it. I knew that he regretted his words. I knew that he meant part of them but I also knew that he regretted how he worded a massive chunk of them. He too swallowed. But he didn't say anything. He didn't say or do anything to make it right. And I was disappointed in him for that.
I knew that he, like Ash, had changed and developed so much from when he was ten years old. He was no longer so egotistical. He was no longer so prideful. But in that moment, he had a whole lot of pride in his throat and it was evident by the way he didn't apologise for or retract his words right away. I kind of understood why. He felt like Ash was regressing and acting like a kid so why couldn't he? But still, I shook my head. Two wrongs didn't make a right. And I hoped that things would start going right again soon enough. I definitely wasn't fighting off a smirk at that point.
From the way that Ash reacted so slowly and coolly and quietly, you could tell that he was upset and he was disappointed and he was mad. For a second time that day, he repeated the slightly older male's words. His eyes were fixed on him and they didn't look away. But despite that, they also seemed very distant and wounded.
"Darkness crap?" my best friend echoed his best friend and Gary started to make me feel slightly better about him again by the way his mouth didn't hesitate to open. He tried to explain himself and apologise but he didn't have time. Ash started talking again. His eyes were growing more distant and the frown was creasing his forehead once again. His lip curled. "You can't talk to me like that. You can't talk like that about what I went through. You can't-"
Gary did a very brave thing by interrupting Ash yet another time. But then again, my best friend wouldn't have done anything to hurt him. He was entirely past that. And he loved Gary, he really did. He irritated the hell out of him. But he loved him.
"You can't go round acting all moody and bratty and expect none of us to be affected." The Junior Professor Oak told the Pokémon Master and Ash's mouth slammed shut with a clicking noise at the quickness of Gary's words. Sometimes, he knew when to shut up. And he knew to do it in that moment. He was still stubborn and he was still hesitant but he secretly listened. "You can't act like that and not expect any of us to pick up on it. You can't look all hurt and not have any of us care. You just can't."
These words were met with silence, both from the auburn haired Pokémon Professor and my best friend. They were bold coming from Gary. Like my best friend, he was letting a twinge of vulnerability show. But unlike my best friend, I picked up on it right away and I studied it immediately too. The image of a ten year old Gary Oak started to fade away. At that point, only a more mature and older 32 year old Gary was fresh in my mind.
I expected it to be Ash to finish the silence seeing as it was his turn to speak but I was proved wrong. Gary kept up the silence for a few more seconds while the chocolate orbed male's eyes began to flicker like mine had been doing earlier in the day. The Pokémon Professor looked at his best friend and he sighed. He mumbled it but still, he said it. He said sorry. He apologised.
"I'm sorry." Gary told Ash briefly as he referred to his wrong choice of words, his hand almost shakily remaining in his hair. He shook his head at himself and he was about to continue speaking when Ash surprised us both by taking his turn. He shrugged.
"It's okay." He mumbled and at first, his expression contradicted his words. He looked very vacant. He looked very lost. He looked not very Ash. And then, all of a sudden, Ash came back. He showed off a very tiny smile. He nudged closer to Gary on the sofa. He breathed out. I breathed out too.
I found myself shaking his head. I knew my best friend more than anyone in the world. I knew Ash Ketchum more than anyone in the world but in that moment, I realised that like how I felt about Gary, I thought that Ash was hard to read. I knew him more than anybody but still, sometimes he baffled me. Sometimes he confused me. Sometimes he was alien to me. And that was okay. He was a completely different person to me after all, despite our closeness.
As the boys nudged closer to one and other and shared a stubborn but tiny smile each, I began to realise how much they needed each other. It never made me jealous the way that I was Ash's best friend and Gary was too. And Cameron as well, for that matter. It never made me jealous, especially when I saw how much they relied on one and other.
Though some would argue it was childish and unproductive, Ash almost needed to be moody and childish and have Gary come along being slightly cocky and them end up pretty much arguing for things to start being okay again. Sometimes they needed to do a mildly wrong thing to get on the right path once again. Sometimes they needed to show off their flaws. Sometimes they needed to be human. And they needed to do that together.
Their small and stubborn smiles were met with silences and after taking the opportunity to study the boys during it, I then took the opportunity to jump onto the back of the sofa behind them as well. I felt like it was too intrusive to hop between them so I hopped between them while behind them instead. I was there and I wasn't. And after my best friend reached out and stroked my cheek as an apology for looking at me with betrayal a few moments ago, Ash began to get serious.
"Do you really want me to start telling you what's going through my head?" the raven haired male questioned his childhood Pokémon Rival and before he could meet Gary's eyes any harder, the Pokémon Professor nodded his head. He responded quickly like he often did. That was the dynamic between them. It was intense. But it was them. It was okay.
"Of course I do." Gary responded with certain words but he didn't lace them with a nod of the head. He did, however, add to them after missing a few seconds. He found himself smirking like I had been threatening to do before he entered the room. He pushed loose bits of hair from out of his eyes. "I wouldn't have bothered coming here if I didn't want to hear your dramatic woes."
Upon hearing this, the Pokémon Master rolled his eyes and even though his expression didn't change otherwise, his eye gesture wasn't that of annoyance. Very deep inside, I believed that it had a hint of fondness to it. He tilted his head on his side as he got ready to speak. That was Gary. That was simply Gary.
Though they didn't bring it up too often, they both quietly and mutually understood that the Junior Professor Oak found it difficult to be too open with feelings. That was just how he was. But even though he found it not the easiest thing, he was a diamond in the rough. He found it hard but in very serious times, like Ash's darkness experience, he came through with some wonderful words of wisdom and wondrous support too. He was a good kid. Even though he was an adult. He was a good kid.
Following his eye roll, my raven haired best friend let out a quiet sigh as if to inform Gary that he was about to start speaking. The auburn haired male went quiet and his smirk smoothed down. He got ready to listen. We both did. And even though we didn't mention it, we were both ready to help Ash in whatever way that we could.
"This thought… This thought just popped into my head." Ash began and right away, our ears were pricked with intrigue. Mine more so than Gary also began to feel slightly echoic with worry. I tried to ignore it and I tried to swallow as silently as I could. I couldn't help my underlying concern. I knew more than anyone the issues that he secretly and un-obviously faced.
The pressures of being the chosen one. The pain of his childhood. The difficulty of being a father and husband and Pokémon Master so young. His darkness, of course. I knew about it all. Sometimes, it hung just as heavily on my shoulders as it did on Ash's. I tried to ignore it but I couldn't help it. That's just how you felt when you cared about someone. That's just how it was when you loved someone as deeply as I loved Ash. My very best friend continued. "It's about JJ."
For once I hid it better but right away, Gary's ears began to prick up and his eyes widened just a fraction too. He was so close to Ash. He was close to Misty too. He was close to their whole family. He had been hurt and broken and confused too about the dilemma of that little boy. Right away, he felt worry in his stomach and heart too. But like the loyal friend he was, he tried to reassure the younger male right away.
"But… But he's fine." Gary began telling him, shaking his head to himself when he tried to read Ash's expression but he couldn't find anything. His brain secretly began ticking but he continued being the positive one out of the two of them. He tried nodding his head adamantly. "Ash, he's fine. He's doing great…. Isn't he…?"
The way that the auburn haired Pokémon Professor said his end words made my spine shudder with fondness. I almost tried to be as prideful as he used to be and ignore it but I decided to just let myself feel it. He really was a very nice person. Sure, he was sarcastic and he could be materialistic. But he was a wonderful friend. And he was family to Ash's family. He was family to us all. And sometimes there were moments when I just couldn't believe that we had all become such a connected group. But I couldn't be gladder about it!
After images of sweet little JJ flashed through each of our minds – his amazing singing self, the way he retained so much knowledge and the way that he was so brave about how he came into the world and how he grew into it – Ash reacted to Gary's words. He nodded his head and then he shook his head. He nodded his head a second time before shaking it a second time also. And then he shrugged. He tried to express how he felt. It wasn't easy for him. He hadn't told me. He hadn't even told Misty.
"He… He's brilliant." He couldn't help but say with a slight smile when, all of a sudden, his chocolate orbs filled with pain. His brown eyes that were often so happy and light and warm were then filled with vulnerability. The vulnerability that Gary and I had stupidly ignored earlier because of his attitude. Ash gulped after Gary's hand lightly and briefly rested on his shoulder. "He's doing great, Gary. JJ is doing great. But I don't think I am."
If the change in my best friend's eyes didn't break and hurt my heart enough, those words most certainly did. For a rare time in my life, my brain went to the worst possible situation right away. I was filled with dread. I dreaded what he was about to say. Was his darkness coming back because of giving up JJ? Did he want to demand custody for JJ again? Did he fear if the little boy was going to go 'up there' for good? I didn't know. I didn't know what to think.
It was in that moment that I realised how truly similar myself and my best friend was. He was the most encouraging and enthusiastic and selfless person that I knew but on the other hand, he was capable of such sadness and such negative thoughts. That was why his darkness had come on, after all. But despite that, he was still just as strong a person as if he had always been okay. In fact, I knew that it made him even stronger. He had two sides to him. He had multiple sides to him. And that was okay. I loved him deeply anyway. We all did.
I knew deep inside that Gary was feeling all of the worry that I was, but he kept it hidden better than I did. I supposed that he had had the practice. Even though his face didn't give too much away, the way that his hand lingered on his best friend's shoulder gave Ash all the support he needed. It gave Ash all the freedom he needed to truly open up. He didn't cry. He didn't weep. He spoke openly. He didn't need to cry to prove how strongly he felt. It was apparent from the way that his eyes lingered on Gary.
"It's so silly, I know it is. But I only just realised how often my mind wanders to me and Misty's unborn child. And then I remembered, we know exactly who they are. We know exactly who our little lost baby became. It's JJ. And that made me think that maybe I've accepted him as my brother-in-law and not my son. And that hurts. That hurts deep. In a weird way, I'm not sure I'm ready to be okay."
Ash's words were met with silence as we both tried to process them. Our expressions went blank to not upset our best friend with whatever they showed while our minds raced. I looked over at Gary and saw him nodding his head. I began to realise that he understood where Ash was coming from. I felt I lump in my throat. I didn't. I didn't understand his words at all. I knew that it was okay but it still overwhelmed me slightly. I appreciated that Ash opened up to us. I respected his words. But I didn't relate to them. But Gary did. And it was lucky that he did. He didn't even need to say any words in response back. He just nodded his head and Ash saw him nodding his head. He felt even more reassurance and freedom to continue speaking.
He shook his head at himself and rubbed his forehead after pushing his hair from his eyes. But he continued being equally as open. He shrugged, trying to ignore the shakiness in his voice.
"If I accept JJ as my brother-in-law for good - that means the end of the idea of him as my son. I know that that will never truly go away and I'm sure that it'll come back sometime, but still. Even if it's an idea of him or something that isn't meant to be, I'm not ready to let that go. And-"
"And in some perverse way, you almost need that pain to survive? I get it." Gary interrupted our best friend by asking him and responding to him in one. I tried to ignore my worry and to just listen. It was hard but it was worth the effort. I really had to focus on the bonding moment between the two guys. Gary nodded his head, his fingers remaining on the raven haired male's shoulder. He found himself laughing slightly. "That doesn't surprise me. You are the guy, after all, who would take an intense Pokémon attack alongside his buddy to understand how it feels together. You're the guy who turns something extremely negative into something positive. So don't start thinking you're crazy. I mean, you are. But don't start worrying about it not being the most normal. That's just who you are. It works for you. And in a way, I understand it."
My brain died down from overthinking Ash's emotions too much to listen to Gary's words. I thought to myself. I couldn't have imagined that he related to what his best friend was saying. They were very similar and they were very close but still, they were very different people as well. But one thing that united them was pain and heartache. That was, in fact, what united almost all of us. We went through tough times together. But we came out the other end of them together as well. That was how we rolled. We were strong. And we were even stronger together.
I was starting to feel slightly more positive about the situation but I could tell that, once my brain stopped being so restless, my best friend's mind started to feel that way instead. He gave Gary a slightly shaky smile, playing with his gloveless fingers.
"Kind of ridiculous though, isn't it? Of course I want the positivity and blessings that come out of all of this, I course I do, but I don't want to be miserable for extended periods either. I want to move on and accept JJ as my brother-in-law for good but at the same time, I want to hold onto the fantasy for just a moment longer. Even if it does hurt."
Despite the tender moment, Gary and Ash's dynamic was still strong. The auburn haired Pokémon Professor answered him quickly. He gave him that small smile but his was sturdier. He was showing him that it was going to be okay. But he reminded him.
"You need this pain and this confusion and this loss to project you to where exactly you're meant to be. Pain is good for lessons and building strength. But it doesn't make a good life if you feel it all of the time. It's time to move on, Ash. It's time to allow yourself be happy for good, rather than waiting for a moment that only you can create."
Upon hearing his childhood rival's words, Ash let out a long but quiet breath. For a second perhaps even his eyes filled with slight tears. But he pushed them away. He pushed the tears away while accepting Gary's words. He knew that he was right. He knew that he deserved to be happy and content in that moment, rather than deciding he deserved it a few months down the line. He knew that Gary was right. I knew that Gary was right. And in that moment, both of us couldn't believe the man that the Pokémon Professor had come. Ash was the one to express this.
After letting the words fully sink into his mind, the raven haired Pokémon Master gave Gary another smile – a braver and less shaky one – and he shook his head at him too, while inhaling his tears away. He lightly patted Gary's hand that was still resting on his shoulder supportively.
"Thanks for bickering this mood out of me. And thanks for making me see sense as well. Since when did you get so wise?" Ash couldn't help but ask Gary and after smiling innocent and shrugging, the hazel orbed slightly older male found himself flicking him on the nose. He finally showed off the smirk that he was saving for when he knew that his best friend was going to be okay again.
He shrugged a second time.
"You're welcome Ashy-Boy. And I'll have you know that I've always been wise. You just never allowed yourself to see it because you already knew that I was far superior to you and you couldn't handle anymore."
When he was ten years old, upon hearing this, Ash would have whined. But he wasn't ten years old anymore. He was a man. He was a husband. He was a father. He was a strong and dependable adult. He tilted his head on one side and raised his eyebrow and this was all it took for Gary to relent. Gary relented. And he was honest with his best friend too. He continued smirking slightly but you could see the truth in his eyes. His hand rested back on Ash's shoulder.
"I only my true self to the people who I know can handle it. And on top of that, I only show it to people who truly know who I am."
I found myself smirking fondly at Gary's honest and slightly sweet words while Ash found himself positively beaming. He tried to hide it. He tried to compose himself. But he grinned at his best friend. It was so good to see.
He flicked Gary's hand as it was on his shoulder. He responded to him back just as airily. But he responded to him back just as truthfully as well.
"Of course I know who you are, Gary. Always have, always will." He paused, his grin going from a contented one to a mischievous one. His soft brown eyes looked more like his than they had in months. They glinted airily. "I know you're a pain in the ass." He told Gary, causing him to pretend to huff and shove him in the chest. But after he recovered from the light pushing, he continued with more honesty. It wasn't hard for him to do. It wasn't hard for Gary to hear, either. In fact, it was wonderful.
Ash went back to grinning in a friendly way at the slightly older male. He nodded his head at him too and his eyes were laced with sincerity. This time, he rested his hand on Gary's shoulder. And soon enough, the other male's hand went back to his as well.
"You are a pain in the ass. But you're my best friend too. And my brother. And I wouldn't want to share the title of the Pride of Pallet Town with anyone else but you."
Needless to say, Gary raised an eyebrow at his words and he pretended to dismiss them but you could tell that they meant a lot to him. And you could tell that he felt the same way as well. He tried to dismiss Ash's words but he couldn't dismiss the way that they felt about one and other. They were truly brothers. They had been childhood friends. They had been childhood rivals. They had been training partners. They had watched one and other go from boy to man, from trainer to father. And they had done it side by side. They would always be side by side. No matter what they did. No matter where they were. They were indeed family.
And because of this, after sharing a healing conversation, they shared a fist bump. I wasn't their first one. It most certainly wasn't their last one. But it was one of their most memorable. Because they meant it. They had meant every word that they had said to each other. They were brothers. And after their knuckles touched, it was set in stone. They were family. And not any of the pain or life lessons in the world could change that.
The End.
There you go! Thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed :3 I wrote this about a month ago and it's so strange that at the time of writing it, I wrote all of Ash's dilemmas as completely fictitious and by imagining myself in his place but now that it's time to upload it, in the past week I've dealt with some of what he's going through in some ways. And I've had arguments like Ash and Gary too! I related to how they had to bicker and be childish and almost make the wrong decisions before getting it right and moving forward. It was simply fictitious at the time of writing it but it oddly is close to things I've been discussing with the people around me lately. I've mentioned this before, but I have a soft spot for Gary. Even though I don't write about him too often, I always like it when I do. It's fun trying to get that balance of his teasing nature but also his kind one :P Originally, the situation of Ash starting to accept JJ as a brother-in-law rather than a son was going to be presented as a letter from JJ's point of view but I did this instead. But who knows? I might end up writing that one day as well! Thanks again for reading and I will be back next Wednesday so see you then :3
AmyBieberKetchum signing out!