Hello :P It is Wednesday and I am back with a new chapter. I wrote this one at the beginning of the year and like the title suggests, it's about Ash and it is about JJ - the child that he and Misty miscarried when they were teenagers but Misty's parents Jordan and Lynne ended up finding him and thinking he was theirs because they miscarried also. I've written a good few times of the scenario and the pain of Ash and Misty having to give him up to Jordan and Lynne even if it is the right thing to do but this one focuses on how the boy's are dealing with it. And I think in this chapter you can tell that JJ is truly secretly a Ketchum! I hope you enjoy :3

Disclaimer: I own the story and the OCs mentioned!

I knew that the raven haired male was going to jolt awake before it even happened. It was the brotherly bond that allowed this to happen. I awoke from my own sleep in the middle of the night, surprisingly peacefully. But as soon as my eyes fluttered open, I felt pain and panic in my chest and I knew that my best friend was having nightmares. He was.

He too was fast asleep, just like I had been. But he was not dreaming easily. He had had hot night flushes quite a few times in recent days so he had gone to bed with his shirt off because of that. Ash and Misty had since moved away from their initial cuddling as they drifted off and were together but apart. The raven haired male while he dreamt was lying flat on his back and he was panting.

Before even taking a look, I knew his tanned chest was dripping with sweat. I could smell it. I could smell his panic. I could hear his panic. I moved over to him right away upon hearing his struggles gasps and as I made a point of sitting on his stomach, he woke up. He woke right up. His eyes bolted open. He sat up in bed. He gasped. He was awake. He was back to reality. But it was times such as those that were difficult to tell which was more pleasant.

My eyes and soul filled with sadness at seeing him wide eyed and hearing him come back to me but I instinctively nuzzled my cheek against his damp torso. Thankfully, he reacted right away and though his breathing was still intense, he automatically reached his hands out and stroked my cheeks for comfort.

And then like the caring soul he was, he turned to his right to make sure to check that he hadn't disturbed his beloved wife. He had not. He had not woken her. And after reaching out carefully to stroke her cheek with his finger while she slept peacefully, he prepared to get out of bed. I barely had any time to move. But I followed him as soon as I caught on. Of course I did.

I moved off from Ash's chest to allow him to get up out of bed and without having to think, he reached for his t shirt thrown on the floor and put that on while he walked across the floor. That quickly became damp from how sodden his stomach was and that made me sad. But I swallowed the lump in my throat and focused on being there for him. I followed him out of the room. And together and wordlessly too, we both headed towards the kitchen.

For once, the Pokémon Master didn't take the time to check on the children who were sleeping in their beds on his way to the kitchen. My eyes filled with sadness as I noticed this right away. I understood why straight away as well. But I didn't like to dwell on it for too long. Instead, my full attention was being right by my best friend's side and only reacting and taking action when he conveyed emotions and thoughts to me properly.

So I remained right by Ash's side as he walked quietly across the kitchen floor and made himself a glass of water before sitting himself down at the breakfast bar island area. He didn't make me one or offer me one but that was okay. I knew that he'd allow me to drink from his if I needed it. But I knew that I wouldn't. All that I needed in that moment in time was for him to be okay.

We sat in silence for a good few minutes. That was most unlike us. But it was exactly what it was. It had to be that way. Ash took sips from his ice cold glass every few seconds and after a few more minutes past, he began to shiver, despite the fact that his body was still damp was unpleasant sweat. And that was the result of unpleasant dreams. And when I looked over at my very dear friend, I knew exactly what they were about.

They were about JJ. It had only been about four months since everybody discovered that he was Ash and Misty's lost miscarried baby rather than Jordan and Lynne's and the former couple had to give him up to the latter to take care of him. And the reason for this was because nobody knew when all of them would be 'up there' or down on earth so it made sense. Truly, it made perfect sense. It made perfect sense in theory, anyway. In reality, however, it was a whole other story. It was a painful one - that was for definite.

I was deeply proud with how the orange haired female had coped. Needless to say I was proud of my best friend too but Misty - despite her wonderfully mothering nature and need to look after that little boy – had done her best to heal from the situation and move forward with JJ as her little brother rather than her son. At the end of the day, she wanted to do what was best for him and wanted to be an example to him by being so very courageous.

I was deeply proud of the raven haired male too, of course I was. But the truth was he was coping a lot less – or maybe just a lot different – to Misty. He'd been suffering all kinds of emotions. Frustration. Angriness. Rage. Jealousy. Sadness. He'd been dealing with lots and lots of nightmares too; all to do with giving away that dual eye coloured boy that he knew was his true son. He'd been having a hard time of it. And in his mind, it was only getting harder with time and not easier like he had hoped. He was finding it so very difficult.

And when I looked over at my best friend, his hand was tangled in his own hair at the back of his head and he was holding his glass of water against his forehead. He looked as though he wanted to cry. He looked as if he was going to cry. Tears of all kinds of emotions pricked his eyes but they never came properly. Someone else, however, did. Someone suddenly peeked from hiding in the doorway.

"A…Ash?" they mumbled into the darkness and revealed themselves from the shadow of the doorway, still pretty shrouded from the black of the night. I knew that they were not looking straight ahead. I knew that they were looking down. I knew that he was looking down. He swallowed. "Ash?"

My raven haired best friend had been thinking so much about the son that he had had to give up and then he was suddenly there. He was suddenly there. And in the middle of the night. He had a quick reaction. He snapped out of his thoughts and put his glass down on the counter, almost knocking it over in his haste. He wiped his eyes though they were no longer watering and he stood up off his stool. He breathed out shakily.

"JJ? JJ… Is that you…?" he asked almost if he didn't believe it and tilted his head, trying to see everything in the room that was only being lit up by the moon glow through the window with no blinds pulled down. Contrasting to how quickly the raven haired male had reacted, the orange haired young boy hesitantly moved into the light so he could reveal himself properly. And he finally looked up too. Ash rubbed his own stomach. "What are you doing here?"

"I said I'd find you." JJ surprisingly blurted out with the same urgency as the raven haired male and while the older male's eyes flickered with confusion – or perhaps it was just deep sadness – the orange haired young boy shook his head at himself and explained. His own eyes were filled with a sense of loss but a sense of determination also. "I told you I would miss you the next day."

That left a pang in my stomach as my own eyes darted between both of those boys. I always worried so much about how having JJ over for the weekends and sending him back on Sunday night would leave Ash and Misty feeling that I almost didn't take into account how it left the orange haired male filled with confusion. That was wrong of me. That was very, very wrong of me. Apparently, it filled him with a great deal of confusion and emptiness too.

"JJ…" my raven haired best friend tried to say his true son's name with calmness and maturity but paired with it being the middle of the night and seeing as he had only just suffered bad dreams, Ash wasn't in the place of clarity that he normally was. He found himself gesturing to his sweaty body and piggy eyes, rather than trying to hide them. "Look at me. Look at me, JJ. Does it look like I'm ready for another weekend of fun?"

"I don't care!" the dual eye coloured boy exclaimed but it was not that of contented excitement. Instead, it was full of urgency and uncertainty and vulnerability too. He didn't read too much into why his true father was sweating in the middle of the night, let alone up in the other night. He just took his words at face value. He just took them literally. He shook his head even more. He locked eyes on the older male. "I don't care. I want to be here. I didn't want our time to be over. I still don't."

I knew very well that the Pokémon Master just didn't know what to say. It had become a nightly thing in the last week or so that he had woken up due to nightmares and come to the kitchen alone to reflect. But that was the first time that JJ had been there. That was the first time that JJ had run away from Jordan and Lynne's annexe to make his way to the Ketchum household. That suddenly put even more of an aching twinge in my belly. He was so much like his orange haired 'sister' and so much like his raven haired 'brother in law'. He was well and truly theirs. But he wasn't made to be.

Absentmindedly, I moved over and nuzzled Ash's wrist while he used his hand to supportive himself against the kitchen island counter top as even more trembles made their way through his body.

"You need to leave here. You need to leave here, JJ. C'mon." the older male uttered out but it was very rare to see how his words were said with such blandness. His words always matched his intentions. But that November middle of the night, it was like he was just saying things and not really meaning them. After I gave him another supportive nose nudge, he found it within himself to move away from me and try to move towards the younger male. "C'mon. Go back to your mother and father."

"I won't go. I won't!" JJ's first words were said in a murmur but his second were suddenly filled with a gulp of stubbornness. And he definitely surprised himself with how his tone came out and he was left wincing and his eyes pricking with tears when he took such a firm step backwards that he crashed into the sink cupboard behind him. I winced as well. Ash just was overcome with even more conflicted emotions but they came across as harshness to protect them both. He exhaled sharply.

"You must, okay? You must. You must leave here. Before it's too late." He warned and I watched. JJ had shuddered at making a bit of a noise into the otherwise silence of the night but upon hearing that Ash was well and truly frustrated with him, he looked up at the older male hesitantly. And his eyes welled with worried tears. Thankfully and Ash being the kind-hearted soul that he was, he caught onto this right away in spite of it all. He explained himself, taking a step nearer to JJ and purposely softening his body language. "Before everyone knows that you're here."

I found myself noting how much of a whispery tone that the Pokémon Master said his most recent words. And when I looked at his face, I saw that his eyes were wandering and his mouth was decorated in a sad smile. That put a lump in my throat. I had managed to move past my thoughts before but in that moment, they were taking over my mind.

The reason that he had not checked on his sleeping children on the way to get a drink of water from the kitchen was because he knew that when he saw their faces, he would be reminded of JJ all over again. Needless to say, it probably wasn't the best thing that JJ had actually showed up then! But nevertheless it had happened.

And when Ash looked at the orange haired young man, it filled him with such a strange mixture. It filled him with such a strange mixture of emotions. JJ reminded him a little of Ben. He reminded him a lot of James. He reminded him a lot of the girls too. But most achingly of all, he reminded him of both he and Misty. He was most definitely their boy. But he never would be allowed to be.

I got the feeling that as Jordan Junior looked up at the raven haired male and locked onto his eyes for a few seconds at a time, his intuitive self, saw everything. And he felt everything too. Not just because he was imagining how it was for Ash but because he felt the exact same way. When he looked up at the older male, he saw himself. When he looked over at the orange haired female, he saw himself also. When he looked at them both, he felt home. In the last few months of his life, he had been very homesick. And he couldn't quite fathom why.

"I won't!" JJ's voice suddenly rose all over again out of emotion but after he winced and looked around the room, worried that he would end up disturbing everyone else and having to see them upset as well as Ash, he maturely decided to take a breath and compose himself a little bit. He was starting to tremble. His eyes were starting to pool. But he was still determined. He was quietly determined. "I won't go. And if you send me back, or if you take me back… I'll come straight back here. I'll do it."

These words caused a peculiar reaction in my raven haired best friend. Truthfully, I was not expecting that. I had seen it before but I had seen it very rarely. After wincing initially, my best friend suddenly looked very numb behind the eyes. It was like he wasn't there anymore. I understood. I understood why. It was so difficult resisting the urge of saying yes and that JJ could stay one more night – in fact he could stay forever and be his son after all.

That's what he wanted. Really and with all of his soul, that was what he wanted. Perhaps selfishly, that was what he wanted to do. But would he actually go through with it? I had my doubts. I understood that, apart from being many, many things, my best friend was wholeheartedly selfless. And he wouldn't take anything away from anybody, even if it belonged to him.

Slowly, Ash shook his head and he looked away. His eyes flickered towards the glowing sight of the moon lit window and he clenched his jaw, trying to hide his emotions and his helplessness. JJ studied him just for a little bit. He saw him. He saw his face. But he saw nothing. He could sense nothing. That made him confused. More than anything, that made him confused. And because he was just a child he tried something – anything – to bring Ash back to him. He moved forward and grabbed hold of the older male's hands. His chin jutted out stubbornly.

"I'll tell James! I'll tell James and he loves Misty and he loves seeing us together so he'll let me come here, even if you don't. So I will come straight back here. I will!" JJ blurted out and he squeezed his eyes tight shut as he was saying anything – he was saying everything – to try and get Ash to come back to him. And it worked. However, he didn't quite understand the reaction when he could sense the older male's nostrils flaring just a little bit while at the same time, his eyes pricked with tears of frustration.

"You stay away from him." Ash found himself warning him thickly and after JJ's eyes hesitantly looked up at him and seemed very anxious by the new reaction from him, he came back to us even more and shook his head. He shook his head and he couldn't look at him nor could he touch him. So he lightly pushed the younger male's hands away from him. He swallowed. "You stay away from him. He… He doesn't need to feel bad about you escaping from the household that he is in charge of."

And in that second, I watched the orange haired male's expression change from that of bewilderment to that of emotion as he listened to the older male. He sniffed. He shook his head and I didn't know why. Maybe he didn't know why either. But I got the impression that he believed that Ash was lying to him. And about far more than just the answer that he had produced for him there and then.

He couldn't figure out how and he couldn't figure out why but it was like there was this wall between them. It had barely been there during the summer months and when he first arrived from 'up there' but as the weeks went on, it became noticeable more and more. Something had happened. Something had changed. He didn't know what but he knew that it had. What JJ didn't realise was that nothing had changed. That was the problem. He still wasn't meant to be Ash and Misty's son.

JJ took a step back all over again but that time, he made sure to not collide into the sink cupboard behind him. He did, however, manage to lock his eyes onto Ash's and he did so at the same time that he wiped under his nose with just one of his fingers. He sniffed. He furrowed his brow. His tone had quietened down for good but his determination could never cease.

"I won't go. I won't go. And if you take me back, I will come straight back. I will." JJ breathed out and I noticed how although he still did have the quiet determination inside of him, his words were beginning to falter like Ash's had done earlier that night. Like when his words didn't really match his actions. I wondered whether he was beginning to feel that wall between them even more. I wondered whether he would soon be catching onto something. I wondered also if Ash spoke quickly to prevent that from happening.

"J… JJ…" he suddenly breathed out himself and showed a vast difference in character from the broken frustration earlier to the protective numbness a little bit before to then going down on his knees and his expression crumpling for just a second. After he forced himself to be brave, his gestured for the younger male to come closer and when he did, he held him in his arms. He hugged him. And he forced all of the tears to stay inside his eyes. "Stop… Stop acting like a Ketchum."

And it goes without saying that not only did the orange haired male's next words send a ringing sensation into Ash's ears and a frozen feeling into his belly, but it did the same exact thing to me as well.

"But… But I am a Ketchum…" JJ murmured and had his eyes shut. But he knew when Ash froze. He knew when he felt a change in demeanour. He knew when he felt a change in energy. He didn't really want to open his eyes but he knew he had to. He pulled away from the hug too to reluctantly look at Ash all over again. Words came tumbling out as he saw the older looking paler than he'd ever seen him before. He thought that he'd offended him with his words but maybe just maybe, he was also beginning to go onto the path of knowing what was truly happening. He sniffed regretfully. "Isn't… Isn't that always what James says? Isn't that what you say too? That we're all one. That we're all family. I'm a Ketchum too. I love you all. I get on with you all. I thought…"

It broke my heart more than anything seeing how JJ believed that he had upset the older male and he was thinking that he shouldn't feel the way that he felt. So if the raven haired didn't reassure him right away then I knew that I would do without hesitation. But thankfully, Ash came through all over again.

I knew that his ears were still ringing. His stomach still felt frozen. But one thing he believed in life was that even when you feel broken and upset and horrible inside, you never make someone else feel that way too. You always should be kind. There's never any excuse not to be.

So I believed it was one of the bravest things in the world when though Ash sniffed, he wrapped his arms around JJ all over again and got ready to speak to him. And in that moment I knew that I was deeply proud of my best friend too. Because he was coping. Even though sometimes it seemed like he wasn't.

"JJ… Of course. Of course I believe that. I guess… I guess I just felt bad because I didn't want to seem like I was taking you away from your parents." Ash mumbled and though I got the feeling that JJ couldn't possibly see how this wasn't the truth at all and was a reflection of how Ash imagined Jordan and Lynne were feeling, it sent yet another pang in my stomach. At least it was no longer frozen. My dear best friend bravely brushed JJ's floppy hair from his eyes and tweaked the ear pieces of his glasses. "Why do you want to be here so badly anyway? It's not that fun."

"O-Oh, but it is." JJ mumbled back and despite everything, a bit more of his childlike qualities came back. We'd seen a lot of his almost adult ones that night. So it was good to see a bit of childlike innocence. He held onto the raven haired male back for a few more seconds before he pulled away and sniffed, determined for it to be the last time. His eyes flickered between Ash and the floor. "I feel home here. I feel safe. And I like feeling like I come from more than one family. Everyone else has that it seems so I want that as well."

While all Ash could do at that point was listen and swallow and stroke the sides of JJ's head in the closest brother-in-law way that he could manage, even though things were still a little up in the air, I began to feel as though we were getting somewhere. Needless to say it would still be a long journey ahead and inevitably the truth would come out in the end, I was thankful to see the two boys no longer clashing as much. They were talking. They were talking and enjoying each other's company. Even though it hurt too.

"I guess I can't blame you for that." My best friend mumbled and following a few more seconds of stroking the soft and silky orange haired locks of the young boy, he inhaled very quietly and he reached out to hold his hands like he had done to him previously. I understood that it was probably very hard but perhaps it was comforting too when he looked right at him. He tilted his head on one side and conveyed all the sincerity he felt in his heart. "But… But you must go home eventually, yeah, JJ? They deserve to have you. You should enjoy every moment and not wish that you were elsewhere. Your parents are good to you. Especially your dad. You… You belong with them."

And I knew that I couldn't possibly love nor have more respect for my best friend and Pokémon Master Ash Ketchum when he said all of those words. All the bravery that they took. All the courage. I was astounded. I was astounded by his bravery and his courage but his selflessness too. He was truly good. He was truly pure. Good things would come back to him. I knew it. And they would come to JJ as well for expressing himself. He looked up at Ash and I did too while he stood back up to his full height but still holding the younger males fists. He found himself adding.

"But… But you can stay with me. A few more minutes. A few more hours. If that is what you want the most." The raven haired male breathed out and after the orange haired young boy's face lit up and he nodded his head, Ash's hand went to the back of his head. He turned around. He encouraged him to do so too. He walked a few paces. "In that case, you should come with me."

And for once, I was contemplating whether or not I should go with them. For one of the few instances when it came to the Ketchum's, I was wondering whether it would be rude to join them. But after they both turned to look at me and gave me a small smile with their eyes and it filled me with oncoming simple joy, I didn't hesitate to oblige. And all three of us went out to the balcony.

Together, we all went out to the balcony. And we all inhaled at the same time that the fresh air hit our faces. We really were all connected one way or another.

I expected both Ash and JJ to have a silence when they were outside looking at the exterior surroundings like Ash and I when we had been sat in the kitchen together. But I was wrong. I was stood corrected. They had just over one minute of silence but as soon as the orange haired male's eyes wandered upwards and he saw all of the stars, he couldn't stop himself beaming and pointing and naming them all for us both to hear. Ash of course listened the most.

JJ pointed. JJ spoke. JJ educated. It was wonderful. He was so wonderful. He had such a zest for life. He had such innocence. But he had such determination too. He was a great kid, no matter who he belonged too. And I believed that Ash realised that a little more that night.

So when the dual eye coloured child came to a rest of naming all of the stars and the constellations and what phase the moon was in too, Ash found himself going down to his knees all over again to speak to JJ. He looked up at him. JJ knew that he had something important to say. He did.

"You know Cameron knows all of the stars and constellations and whatnot too? My good friend Cameron." The older male told the orange haired male and his face lit up upon hearing just that. Yes, he was truly one of a kind. Ash continued, finding his fingers brushing the hair out of JJ's eyes once again. "He taught me some of them a long time ago. He is my family. He is not but he is. The same goes for Gary. I guess the same goes for James too." The raven haired adult man had a brief pause as the wind tickled and ran through his hair. But then he couldn't stop more words pouring out. "And… And it certainly goes for you and I, yes. It doesn't matter who you are, JJ. Or where you feel like you belong. When you're with Misty and me, you belong with us. And when you're with your parents, you belong with them. When you're 'up there', you belong there. And when you're here, you belong right here. You're a very lucky boy because you have a home all over. And you will always have a home in me. And a friend as well."

And I knew that even though JJ was just nine years old, he understood and he appreciated the sentiment of each and every one of Ash's words. And I knew I was right when his face lit up far than all of the stars and the moon as his arms spread out and he wrapped them around the raven haired male for a tight hug. They embraced. They didn't let each other go. And they wouldn't. For a few more hours at least.

And that night, Ash didn't even feel bad for technically lying to JJ. Because he knew that he wasn't. Yes, he knew that he knew that JJ was his and he was obscuring that information for him but was he really? JJ came to it on his own accord. JJ came to it in his own time. And who knows, maybe he started to piece it together there and then.

But the point was, Ash could never really lie to him. JJ did have a home in him. And Ash did have a home in JJ. In fact, they were both very very lucky boys. Because they had homes wherever they went. And they certainly both had one safe inside my heart.

The End.

There you go! Thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed :3 So yeah, JJ will definitely start to piece together the truth after this moment. I absolutely do want to write a chapter that focuses on him being told for good/his feelings when it's all out in the open. It was good to write about Ash once again. I do like having a lot of OC focused work but it's fun to go back to the familiar as well. And even though JJ is one of me and Shannon's own, I think I know him pretty well and definitely want to write all the more about him in the future :P Thanks again and I will be back next Wednesday so see you then!

AmyBieberKetchum signing out :3