Happy Birthday to me, Leah and Alexa!!!
Journey to Teyvat! (There's some major spoilers in this chapter if you want to avoid them before playing the game Genshin Impact. Try it it's amazing besides the fandom. Please don't hate me for liking Genshin.)
In the morning Leah and Alexa wake up before they smile excitingly before teleporting to me and they see me wearing a sliver skull mask.
Me: What? What do you two want?
Leah: Blade it's February 15th!
Alexa: It's our birthday!!
They grab me and pull me into a hug as Alexa pulls the mask off my face and throws it into a tree.
Alexa: You know what we should do first?
Leah: We are not having a threesome.
Alexa: Come on it's fun! Besides I wasn't even going to say that.
Me: We burn down LGBTQ flags?
Leah: That I can agree with. I've met a lot of LGBTQ people and most of them are just annoying.
Alexa: What no no no no no no. Look we aren't going to burn down LGBTQ flags they deserve love too. Same with people that go through a lot of pain, jackasses, brats, spoiled people, evil animals and more.
Me: Then what are we doing?
Alexa: We're going to a place where it's seen fictional and it has a bad reputation because of its fandom.
Leah: My Hero Academia?
Alexa: No.
Me: Demon Slayer?
Alexa: No.
Leah: Naruto?
Alexa: No.
Me: Dragon Ball can't be one of them right?
Alexa: Correct Dragon Ball is not there.
Leah: It has to be Attack on Titan!
Alexa: What no.
Leah: Jojo Bizarre Adventure!
Alexa: Nope.
Leah: Fullmetal Alchemist?
Alexa: Not even close.
Me: I know Jujutsu Kaisen!
Alexa: Ok this is starting to get sad.
Me: Star Wars.
Alexa: No.
Leah: Taylor Swift fans or whatever they're called.
Alexa: I said fictional.
Me: Genshin Impact?
Alexa: Yes!!
Me: Thank god.
Leah: Took us some time to get there but we were able to get it right.
Me: Where'd you get Jujutsu Kaisen from anyway?
Leah: Gojo fans.
Me: True they might even be able to go up against Goku fans from 2021.
Leah: Wait why'd you pick Genshin?
Alexa: Because Genshin is actually really cool it just needs new fans that won't become like the fans they have right now.
Me: Don't the female fans say every woman is a lesbian?
Leah: Yeah I think they do say that.
Me: Just because someone's friends doesn't mean that they have to date some goes for male Genshin characters.
Alexa: But I have to say one thing Arlecchino needs not one woman or man. She looks like the type of person to rely on others when needed but will normally work alone.
Leah: Exactly and why is Childe shown as a playboy and someone that's not loyal? He almost had Liyue drowned because he was trying to get the Morax's gnosis for the Tsaritsa.
Me: Didn't they make a ship about Furina and Arlecchino?
Leah: Yes that pissed me off so damn much!! Like why ship someone with the same exact person who gave them PTSD and had them scared for their life? Like it's so frustrating!
Alexa: But I will never understand Navia x Clorinde. Like didn't Clorinde kill Navia's father in a duel or something? And isn't she older than Navia?
Leah: Sometimes there are things that's good but then people ruin them that's why I like to watch or play them with people close to me.
Me: Alright when are we leaving?
Alexa: Hmm...let me think right now!
Alexa grabs me and Leah before we all teleport to Teyvat and we appear like shooting stars that crosses all four corners of Teyvat before crashing into Liyue in front of a tall man and short girl. The short girl has a fair complexion; bright scarlet eyes with white, blossom-shaped pupils; faded red makeup painted at the corners of her eyes; and long dark brown hair fading to crimson at the tips. She wears a black porkpie hat emblazoned with a wooden talisman, adorned with a red plum blossom branch in bloom, along with an indigo tassel tied in a looped knot. She also wears a traditional red shirt with a mandarin collar, a brown coat with a darker collar and sleeve cuffs, and black shorts with gold accents. The tall man He has fair skin, amber eyes with yellow diamond-shaped pupils and red eyeliner on the lower lids of his eyes. He has mostly short, dark brown hair with a longer fringe on the right side of his face and his attire is elegant and form-fitting, consisting of a beige dress shirt, a brown and amber waistcoat, slim black trousers, black dress boots, and black gloves with twin silver archer rings on the thumbs. His neckpiece is a white tie pinned at the throat by an amber gemstone. His left ear is adorned with a jeweled tassel earring. Over everything, he wears a long dark brown tailcoat with dragon scale patterns, gold and silver accents, golden tassels, and Rex Lapis' diamond symbol on the back.
???: Yoh, now just why might you be looking for me, hm? Oh, you didn't know? I'm the 77th Director of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, Hu Tao. Though by the looks of you... Radiant glow, healthy posture... Yes, you're definitely here for something other than that which falls within my regular line of work, aren't you?
Alexa gets up since first since she's on top of me and Leah.
Alexa: Umm yes we are.
Hu Tao: And what could that be?
Leah: We were traveling between worlds and we ended up crashing here.
Me: (In my head) Did she just come up with that?
They look at Leah who stands up before helping me up.
Me: Yes that's true now we were wondering if you could help us travel across this world.
Hu Tao: Hmm I could but that would drag me away from the Funeral Parlor. But maybe Zhongli could this grandpa happens to know more than you think! What do you say Zhongli?
Zhongli: Perhaps I could show them around Liyue while you attend to matters of the parlor Director Hu.
Hu Tao: Well it's settled then. You three will follow Zhongli around Liyue and I go back to my work.
Hu Tao waves before she walks away leaving us with Zhongli.
Zhongli: Since the director is gone now I must ask...who are you three?
Alexa: What do you mean?
Zhongli: Your all from other worlds and crashed here but if you were to crash into Liyue Harbor most people would feel ghastly seeing the random occurrence of three golden stars crashing into the ground. So once again who are you three?
Leah: Well we're obviously travelers but we don't travel that much.
Me: I travel you guys follow!
Alexa: Ok well maybe if there weren't scary things I would go.
Me: I'm scared of a lot of things too.
Leah: Like what?
Me: I got acrophobia.
Zhongli: Isn't that the fear of heights?
Me: You see the conspiracy knows I'm afraid of heights but I best not see one spider up in space.
Zhongli shakes his head while Alexa laughs.
Leah: Fear of spiders is arachnophobia.
Me: Look ok. Zhongli we all are Gods well to be more specific I'm a Dragon God and my sisters Leah and Alexa are both Dragon Goddesses. I'm the Dragon God of Everything meaning I have full control over everything and I can use whatever powers I want but even with the fact I'm a Dragon God I still have limits that need to be broken and I'm the oldest triplet. Leah is the middle triplet and she's the Dragon Goddess of Life and Death her expertise is creating life and and killing she has to keep order over everything that maintains to life and death in its never ending cycle while she gives immortality gods and goddesses and everything that's not mortal and takes it away to those that have caused a serious crime to my "laws" just like the Heavenly Principles that rule over Teyvat. Lastly but not least Alexa she's the youngest triplet she is always happy and optimistic but can be serious about things that can threaten her loved ones she's the Dragon Goddess of Love she decides what is classified as love and what's not classified as love and the more she loves the more powerful she gets meaning that if she's obsessed with someone or something then her power will multiply. That's basically who and what we are and do. Now what about you? Hu Tao said your name was Zhongli right?
Zhongli: My apologies I forgot to introduce myself. I have a great many names, though when on leave... I tend to go by Zhongli I'm a consultant at Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. Now I suggest that you know my real identity yes?
Alexa: Morax or Rex Lapis the Geo Archon that faked his death in the contract to end all contracts.
Leah: Who also gave his gnosis to La Signora eighth of the Fatui Harbingers.
Zhongli: It was a contract I had with the Cryo Archon. Now please let me show you around Liyue.
Zhongli shows us around Liyue starting off with the Mount Acoang and ends with Liyue Harbor.
Zhongli: And this is Liyue Harbor founded 3700 years ago by Rex Lapis. We just finished Lantern Rite it was as wonderful as ever it's never lackadaisical.
Me: Well I remember seeing this Lantern Rite and it was exceptionally amazing.
Alexa: Yes Gaming's dance was amazing and Xianyun helping with the kites.
Leah: I was kinda surprised when I saw Ganyu's and Shenhe's outfits. Didn't expect for her to have clothes like that though.
Zhongli shows us around the harbor and tells us about the Jade Chamber as we sit at a table having tea Zhongli brewed.
Zhongli: And that's all for your Liyue's exploration. Was it well?
???: Zhongli!
We all hear a high pitched voice as we see a fairy girl and a blonde guy the girl that looks like a fairy has a petite body, giving her the look of a fairy. She has thick white hair cropped just above her shoulders, dark purple eyes, and light skin. In some official art, the tip of one of her front hair locks fades to black. She wears a long-sleeved white jumper and a night-blue cape flecked with stars, and white stockings with white boots. Rose-gold embroidery and shapes are attached to her jumper, boots, and sleeves. Her accessories are a dark blue hairpin, almost black, and a rose-gold tiara that levitates above her head as though it was a halo. The blonde hair boy has blonde hair that's lighter he wears a dark brown breastplate vest baring his midriff along with a white scarf and a two-tailed cape with golden embroidery and decals. He wears a golden pauldron on his left shoulder and a tasseled earring in his left ear. He wears dark brown pants, brown gloves and black boots, and has lightly-defined pecs which do not appear in his in-game model. His hair is medium cut with choppy bangs and a long, braided ponytail, tied with a tasseled band and they both walk up to us.
???: Huh? Who are these people are they your friends?
Zhongli: If it isn't the Traveler and Paimon. Still here after the Lantern Rite?
Paimon?: Yeah we wanted to stop by and have Xiangling's cooking!
Traveler: More like you wanted Xiangling's cooking.
Paimon: You know you wanted some as well!
Traveler: Anyway we saw you walking around with your new friends Zhongli so we followed.
Zhongli: I see, perhaps introductions are in order. Please take a seat.
The Traveler sits right next to Alexa as Paimon? floats right next to him.
Paimon: Paimon's well Paimon!
Aether: I'm known as the Traveler (in Khaenri'ahn) but my name is Aether.
Me: (in my head) Did he pick up on our identities already?
Leah: well Traveler I'm Leah Zero a beautiful maiden.
Alexa: Alexa Zero the innocent and oblivious maiden.
Me: Blade Zero the master of all.
Paimon: Paimon sees it Leah is very beautiful and Alexa seems like the type to not know much. But Paimon doesn't understand yours Blade.
Me: I'm an enigma deal with it.
Alexa: Yeah he tends to have his moments just like that where he's all broody.
Me: Shut. Up.
Alexa: Well that's a first impression on our new friends.
Me: I can't deal with you.
I simply chuckle and shake my head as Alexa smiles at me.
Aether: Are you guys from a different world? I can tell that your clothes aren't made from Teyvat maybe you guys are from Khaenri'ah?
Leah: Well we are from a different world just not Khaenri'ah.
Aether: (in his head) If I listened to her tone it sounds like she doesn't want us to find out. I should talk to one of them alone because Paimon might just accidentally say it. (Looks at Alexa) "the innocent and oblivious maiden." Maybe I should talk to Alexa in private.
Alexa: Well Paimon if you can eat food as you say you can then I want you to go up against my big brother Blade!
Me: Wait what?
Paimon: Well then challenge accepted.
I sigh before waiting for the food Paimon ordered and Aether takes this opportunity to talk to Alexa.
Aether: Hey Alexa can I talk to you in private? There's something important I want to ask you.
Alexa: Yeah we can talk.
Aether takes Alexa away to a place where they can't be seen or hidden.
Aether: Who or what are you Alexa?
Alexa: Oh is this what you wanted to know? Well I'll tell you on one condition.
Aether: I'm an expert at adventuring all over-
Alexa: Let me rim you.
Aether: What?
Alexa: You heard me I want to give you a rimjob.
Aether: Are you serious?
Alexa: Yes I am.
Aether: Just get it over with.
Alexa smiles before giving a rimjob to Aether that lasted for like a whole hour and once she's done she helps Aether put his clothes back on and helps him stand up.
Alexa: Alright now I'll answer your questions.
Alexa tells Aether what I said to Zhongli earlier.
Aether: So your the Dragon Goddess of Love from another planet and your very strong and powerful?
Alexa: That's correct.
Aether: And Leah and Blade are...well that's a lot to take in thanks for telling me let's go back to the others they might be wondering where we've been.
They both go back only to see the table filled with dishes and empty dishes as me and Paimon are still eating until Paimon places her bowl down.
Paimon: Paimon is so full she can't eat another bite.
Me: Ha! I win!
Zhongli: This competition was supposed to be friendly but ended up being taken into a serious matter. Why must you both order so many dishes that has to take up all the space?
Me: Well I didn't even want to do this.
Leah: Yet you could've backed out anyway.
Me: What?
Leah: How bout we go see Sumeru?
Alexa: Oh come on let's go to Mondstadt! Bye Zhongli!
Zhongli: Departing already? I wish you all safe travels then.
We get up but not after Aether pays for all the food that Paimon and I had eaten and now we're headed off to Sumeru passing the Chasm and after a while we make it to Sumeru city.
Paimon: We made it to Sumeru city! Traveler what if Nahida's here?
Aether: Then it'd be awesome.
Paimon: Come on let's go find Nahida!
Paimon flies away causing the rest of us too run after her until we're met with a small girl and a boy and the girl whose hair is pulled into a braid from the right side of her head and merges into a ponytail on the left side of her head. She wears a large green headpiece on the left side of her head and a green leaf on the right side. Her outfit consists of a white dress decorated with green and gold details, short detached sleeves made of patterned green fabric, and a gold bracelet on her right wrist. Her dress is adorned with a number of green gems and is decorated with intricate golden patterns. Under this, she wears a pair of white bloomers. On her back is a split pale green cape, and on her feet she wears short white stirrups adorned with gold that leave her mostly barefoot, with her toes and heels being exposed. And the boy wears a large circular navy blue kasa hat, with golden details with the top part resembling a lotus, with a pair of light cyan strips of fabric that dangles from the back of his hat, attached with a pair of diamond-shaped trinkets. Accessories resembling the finials of a shakujo staff hang from these strips of light cyan fabric. He sports a tight black turtleneck bodysuit with long detached sleeves and a golden ornament attached to the center just beneath the collar, over which he wears a white kimono with large furisode-like sleeves in cyan coloration, and a inner cyan tunic. He sports a pair of fingerless metallic gloves on each arm consisting of black straps wrapped around his wrists giving it a bandage-like appearance. Around his waist, he also wears a black hakama shorts, with a thick black and indigo obi belt, decorated at the front with a large black bow with indigo tassels that dangle off it, their color paling at the ends. He sports a pair of knee-high white gaiters, with a black toeless sock knee-high under it, using black geta sandals on his feet, with both legs secured around the top with indigo rope held together with a gold ornament with a singular tassel pinned to it. He wears a patterned blue half-cape with various tones that hangs off his left shoulder, where a large gold ornament containing his Anemo Vision is pinned along with a singular gold feather, which resembles the Plume of Luxury.
???: Wanderer I already got you enrolled in the Akademiya. I even got your uniform!
Wanderer: What? (Sighs) Just...just give me the uniform.
??? gives Wanderer the Akademiya's uniform and he goes into a room and comes back out wearing the uniform.
???: So you ready to go?
Wanderer: I don't want to do this.
???: Well it's good for you to go to the Akademiya.
Paimon: Hey Nahida!
??? and Wanderer turns around and sees Paimon flying towards them and the rest of us walking towards them.
Wanderer: Oh it's you two hmm? (Looks at me, Leah and Alexa) Who are these three?
Paimon: Well Nahida, Wanderer these are our new friends Blade, Leah and Alexa! These are our friends Nahida and Wanderer.
Nahida: It's nice to meet you.
Alexa gasps at Nahida's cuteness.
Wanderer: Idiot. I'm leaving Nahida.
Nahida: Don't forget the lunch I made for you!
Wanderer mumbles something under his breath and grabs the lunch Nahida made for him and walks towards the Akademiya.
Nahida: Sorry about him he's just being his usual self.
Alexa: Don't worry he looks like an emo boy anyway.
Nahida: Well since we're all acquainted with each other what brings you here to Sumeru?
Paimon: We came here because they (points to us) fall from another world just like the Traveler!! We were just showing them around Sumeru and next we're heading to Fontaine!
Nahida: I heard what you did in Fontaine and help save it from its prophecy given by Celestia.
Aether: Thank you.
Nahida: (giggles) Your welcome. I'll let you guys be don't wanna bother you guys anymore.
Leah: Your not a bother.
Paimon: Besides we wanted to show you our new friends.
Nahida: Really? Well I'm happy that we met.
Me: Same goes for us.
Nahida: Happy travels and have safe and fun dreams!
Nahida waves at us as we all wave back and follow Paimon.
Paimon: Uhh why are we following Paimon?
Leah: Well you look more like a tour guide than the Traveler no offense.
Aether: none taken.
Paimon: Well the Traveler knows his way around the city as well!! Come on Traveler why don't you go first?
Aether: Fine I'll go first.
Aether walks ahead of us showing us around Sumeru and its ridiculously large desert and now we're entering Fontaine riding the Aquabus.
Paimon: So Paimon's been wondering where do you guys come from?
Alexa: Well we're obviously from another world that's no where close to where Teyvat is.
Paimon: Well Paimon can tell that you guys are from a different world. But what world do you guys come from?
Alexa: We come from a planet named "Earth" it's an amazing and beautiful planet.
Me: Besides the humans.
Alexa slaps the back of my head.
Alexa: It's so beautiful it has some of the best sights especially in our solar system.
Leah: People cause mass killings and get mad when people die and they know that they're mortal so it was gonna happen anyway.
Alexa slaps the back of Leah's head.
Alexa: Despite what my brother and sister are saying Earth may have its flaws but it's a very beautiful planet.
Paimon: What about the food? Is there a lot of food there?
Alexa: Of course there is we have a bunch of countries and they each have their own cuisines! And they taste so so so good!
Paimon: Ooh Paimon can't wait to try Earth's food!
Aether: I bet that you would clean out a restaurant on Earth.
Paimon: Hey it's not Paimon's fault she likes delicious foods! Well we already are in Fontaine now.
Aether and Paimon shows us around Fontaine as I was talking with Fontaine's former archon Furina before we had to leave.
Me: I gotta go see ya one day Furina.
Furina: Well it has been great talking to you Blade I hope to see you one day in the future.
I smile and nod before I walk back towards the others and me, Leah and Alexa all teleport back to Earth crashing down in front of the estate.
Leah: That was the best birthday I ever had.
Alexa: I can't wait to go back.
Blade Zero69: Yeah it's rushed but I kinda sorta maybe somehow forgot that it was my birthday.
Narrator: How did that happen?
Blade Zero69: Don't know how just forgot. Well I hope this chapter was good.