It was unusually foggy in California. Much unlike many other days.
He sat in the driver's seat. He couldn't get himself to start the car, it would mean driving, and driving meant that he would be doing the one thing he didn't want to do, go to her funeral.
John sat back in his seat, hands pressed against his forehead.
Come on, his brain yelled at him, you have to get your shit together. You have to do this. It's the last thing that she asked you to do.
He jammed the keys into the ignition and soon got moving.
John felt like he was on autopilot. Questions flashed through his mind. What was going to happen, how was he going to act, would he screw up the eulogy, how would his friends be feeling?
John, a usually very confident man, was now feeling incredibly anxious. He would just have to put on an act.
He had arrived.
The sun shone through the fog, it seemed to give the world a glow, a ray, a shimmer of joy. It was rather poetic, it reminded him of how he felt when he was with her.
The joy slowly faded away, the sun being covered by clouds.
It was to be a small funeral, friends and family only.
He walked in anxiously fiddling with a loose thread on his jacket. It was quiet, not many people had arrived but it still took a moment for him to find them.
They were huddled together in a back corner, like penguins looking for warmth. He walked over to them, his legs like concrete beneath hum, making every step he took more difficult than the last.
There they were: Jackie Coogan, Lisa Loring, Ken Weatherwax and Felix Silla.
Lisa, now an adult, looked exhausted. Her eyes were bloodshot and dry, and John could smell cigarettes on her coat.
Ken was on Lisa's right never leaving her side, his arm slung protectively around her back. He too seemed tired. He was refusing to cry.
Jackie's face was darkened. His hands stuffed deep into his coat pockets.
Felix was quiet. He was standing on a chair next to Jackie. John could see that his mind was running a million miles a minute.
John walked over and stood himself between the two pairs. They all stood in silence.
More people began to enter. Peter, Carolyn's husband, walked past, giving John a nod.
The funeral began soon after.
It was time to do the eulogy.
John walked up to the podium, the wood of it was cracked and dark. He stood behind it and he went into acting mode. He shut off his brain and began to- well he didn't really know what he was saying, the world seemed off, like the earth was tilted off its axis, or the Earth had spun to far from the sun.
He finished his speech, making his way back to his friends. Lisa was crying, and Ken was holding her. John joined the group. He pulled the, now adult, children into a hug, one arm for each of them, one shoulder for each to cry on.
Lisa clung to him.
"I want Carolyn" It was the first thing any of them had said to each other.
She had always gravitated to Carolyn when she was upset. She had always gravitated to Carolyn in general. Carolyn had held her at Ted and Blossom's funerals, glancing over to John every once in a while. Her expression had been pained, she had hated seeing Ken and Lisa in pain.
The memory faded into the back of John's mind.
The group stood together in front of her grave. It was quiet and solemn. They had each placed flowers in the holder on her plaque.
5 red roses.
5 living roses were placed on a dead woman's grave.
It was ironic, leaving something living on a grave.
A/N: OH MY GOD HI! Ok I'm really excited. I have gotten so much love for this fic on Ao3 and Wattpad but I didn't expect anything from here! I'm glad you're enjoying it! I have another chapter in the works that should be out before Christmas (hopefully). Thank you for reading!