A. N. : I am back with a basket full of angst. You're welcome.

Jet is still here.

He is eyeing Lin warily, waiting for any kind of movement that could lead to a spark. Currently though, she is simply too busy drooling on Zuko's knee to do anything else. He'll bear with it to keep her calm, but – ugh.

The silence is dragging on uncomfortably, but Zuko has no idea what to say – he never does. Whether it's diplomats he's facing, or just his friends – and there are only three of those – starting a conversation is always extremely hard. On the ship, the only time he knew how to talk to his crew was when he was giving orders. He didn't care about being liked back then, too busy chasing a mirage, but hearing the men whisper in his back sure didn't help his mood.

Azula is better at all this, she always is, but Zuko knows she isn't fit for normal conversations either. Political manipulation is fine, communicating with regular people – not so much.

When they were kids, they were both pretty shy, so they played together more often than not. Then Azula changed – how did she become so twisted, how did that happen – and made friends with Mai and Ty Lee and Zuko was left on his own.

As expected, Jet is the one to break the silence.

He asks about Zuko's – Li's – childhood, and well, Zuko can't really refuse, now that Jet told his tale – it's obvious he left out the most painful parts, but he still revealed so much –

So Zuko sighs, scratches his head, and tries to find what he can possible say without blowing his cover.

He says his father is kind of important. That mother was warm and sweet and always cared for him – he doesn't say unlike father – and that his little sister was nice when she was young. That she was always better than him at everything and that at some point she started getting really – arrogant, he says, not cruel, not twisted, not scary. That one day mother was gone and he never knew why or where. That he got in an argument with his father – he fights to not raise his hand and touch the scar and he doesn't remember that day and the pain the pain was so horrible he thought he'd died and the smell is still haunting his nights and he can't burn anyone because the burning flesh brings him back there and –

Jet interrupts the flow of thoughts – thanks Agni he does – by asking if he is okay, and yes, yes he's alright, it's just some bad memories – Jet would understand if Zuko told him about the fire and the nightmares and the smell, he is sure of it, but he can't say that father did –

He breathes.

He says that afterwards he had to leave the house, that Uncle decided to come with him. He doesn't say that it's been more than three years, or that things got even worse since, that Azula tried to kill him, tried to kill Uncle, and that father wouldn't have batted an eye had she succeeded.

He doesn't say any of that, but he knows his emotions always show on his face – Azula made fun of him so often for that – and Jet is good at reading people, so he's probably taking guesses, expanding the story he made up for Li, and being both terribly wrong and scarily accurate.

Lin has her head on Zuko's thigh and her breath is warm with fire and it's overwhelming, she is alive and trusting and he can't, can't deal with this, can't take care of someone, can't protect anyone when he is like that, she is warm like fire like the sunset and his knee is wet like on that day when he cried kneeled begged for forgiveness and he can't can't can't –

She isn't here anymore, suddenly.

Zuko looks up at Jet – did he seriously take the bucket with him to get to the other side of the table – and he sucks at reading people, but he is sure that Jet knows.

Lin is in Jet's arms, and they all sit there in silence.

Zuko wants to cry.