A. N. : How many Gal Pals chapter has it been in a row now ? Like 10 ? I probably shouldn't be surprised that an arc is taking me a while to get right, I am the person who spent 15 chapters just to get Jet and Zuko to talk to each other again, and 15 more on The Headband of all things, but it's kind of funny that it just keeps on happening. The more things change...

How dare he.

How dare this man, this – this lowblood, glorified servant – how dare he order Azula to apologize.

So what if she's shown disrespect to their hosts, she does not have to pay them any mind anyway. They do not care. They are doing their jobs. They will not kick her out.

Apologies are nothing more than a show of weakness, an acknowledgement of failure, and Azula does not fail, does not make mistakes, does not kneel and beg like a coward while Father raises his hand.

Of course her actions would be improper for someone else, someone dependent, someone weak, but not her. She holds the cards, the notebooks and the lies that ensure she will not be run out by any dignified healer. She holds the power.

Her throat hurts.

Who cares if she hurts or betrays the trust of some fools dumb enough to leave her alone with their secrets ? It's what she does. It's the only way.

It's all she has.

This man asks for her aim, like it isn't obvious. He doubts her, doubts her goals, her drive, her fuel. He asks, and swears to stay even if she doesn't want anything, and she knows he lies because no one stays for her, only for what she can do for them, or to them. He is so busy lying that he doesn't realize it when he contradicts himself, says he followed her to witness what she will do, says he will stay no matter what. How absurd. He will grow tired eventually, he will leave, he won't even have the decency to kill her.

What she wants to do ? Her goals for the future ? She wants to be left alone ! She wants – she needs –

What was she planning to do with these notebooks ?

She could use them, she knows she could, to wield Doctor Sekiji's absurd guilt against his best interests, and make him dance in the palm of her hand.

And for what ?

What good is it, what good is she, when her drive is –

She is perfect – she failed, over and over – she is a prodigy – lightning redirected by her fool of a brother – she is Father's favorite – she was discarded, she will be forgotten, she is nothing.

She has no plan. No goal. Nothing to achieve, nothing she wants.

She can't even make a flame anymore.

If she confesses, apologizes, and accepts this punishment, what will happen then ? There is no nothing she can do, no certainty, no damage control.

It would have been better if she had died – by Mai's hand, by Father's will, by Zuko's treason, by her own mistake.

Qin will leave. Mai will leave. Ty Lee will leave. Just like Zuko, just like Mother.

And there is nothing she can do to stop it.